midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 22, 2012 14:19:30 GMT -5
Take a bite out of crime! Do they still have Mr. Yuck stickers? I used to put them on my brother when he was a baby
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 22, 2012 14:19:53 GMT -5
If we're going with brain theory, I believe current research has it that the brain is not fully developed until about 22 years of age. And yet, we let 18 year olds go off to fight in wars. And have a voice/vote in how this country is run- from their commuties up to the national stage. Just because their brains aren't fully developed doesn't mean they can't handle those things.
If we're going with the theory that 6 year olds don't always follow instructiuons, well, neither do 16 year olds, and, in my experience, the 16 year olds almost always end up with more disasterous results. And no, the 16 year olds don't put any more thought into the consequences of their actions than the 6 year olds do.
I wouldn't let the 4 year old walk on her own, and I get why Swamp didn't let her son at 5 y/o walk on his own. But walking together at 4 and 6, I don't see a big issue. It is ONE block. My brother and I are less than 3 years apart, and while we fought terribly, no way in hell would one of us have ever left the other if we were supposed to be walking somewhere together. In fact, my older brother would have been much more likely to wander off if he knew there was another, older kid there to watch me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2012 14:20:09 GMT -5
HA! I don't know.... ETA: They do! www.chp.edu/CHP/mryukYou should order a page as a gag gift to your brother! ;D
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 22, 2012 14:20:50 GMT -5
Milee - I am so glad that story ended right and you are correct. If it had been a neighbor I very well may have done the same thing even though my mom did tell me not to go inside anyone's house, but at that moment I could see how the 7 yr old me might have walked into the house.
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Jun 22, 2012 14:26:28 GMT -5
Actually they found the password was a crock of crap too. They had a 'stranger' approach kids, introduce themselves and ask them to come help find their puppy. Not a single kid asked for the password. The parents were watching on hidden camera and were horrified. They said the best thing is to just be straight forward, if mom and dad did not say it is okay, then you run away. It's okay to be rude, it is okay to say no. You run away and find a neighbor/teacher/policeman/etc to call mommy/daddy. One of the things that I have always told my kids is that if any adult makes you uncomfortable in any way-you get away in any way you can. My kids have studied karate for many years. One of the best things I've ever seen taught to kids is how to get away if an adult grabs you. DD was somewhat horrified at 6 years old when she was told it was ok to strike an adult. I made it clear that if an adult made her feel that it was necessary, then the adult was in the wrong. I'm not naive enough, nor was I ever, to think that my kids could get themselves out of every bad situation. But so far, my kids seem to be doing fine compared to their friends. Developing self reliance and coping skills at an early age seems to have served them well. And I did start out as a helicopter parent. For the first couple of years of DS's life I barely let him breathe without my doing it for him. Shame on me. It wasn't the best thing for him. It turns out that he could and did do a lot more than I ever gave him credit for. One of the best things that ever happened to my kids was me being out on workman's comp for 8 months with carpal tunnel. I had to let go, and they did, and still do amaze me.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 22, 2012 14:27:26 GMT -5
Does anyone else remember the Block Parent program? These were people that had little signs in their windows with BP on them. We were taught as kids that if we were walking and someone got hurt or a stranger tried to approach us, and if we could run to a Block Parent house for help. Basically, we were told to trust strangers who had a little sign in their window. Just like we were taught to trust policemen, firemen, and men in military uniform (or at least I was taught to trust men in military uniform, as my father was CO of our Guard unit). As far as I know, no one had to go through a background check or anything like that to be a Block Parent, they just had to volunteer. I don't think that program is still in existence today, proably because of the perceived risk.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 22, 2012 14:33:31 GMT -5
Interesting - we didn't have the Block Parent program, but I grew up kind of out in the country. It does sound like something rife for abuse (esp. with no background checks). Too bad, because in theory it would be a good program.
We did have those little "CHILD INSIDE" stickers the fire department gave out... I think they discontinued those, too, since it made it pretty easy for any person walking by to see exactly where the kids were located.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 22, 2012 14:38:10 GMT -5
I suppose there was still some risk but my parents told us which neighbors were ones we could run to. To this day I could still run to several of them if I felt unsafe in my house.
When the drug dealers were renting next to my parents and I was alone while they were out of town said neighbors assured my parents they were watching the house/me the entire time.
They told me I could call anytime of day if I was worried and they would come investigate. I could also if I felt I had to stay with them while they called the authorities.
Fortunately nothing happened, but I was extremely relived when those people skipped town in the middle of the night.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 22, 2012 14:43:20 GMT -5
I saw on Dateline awhile go that it doesn't work to teach kids to "be afraid of strangers/someone you don't know". To a kid when the guy says "Oh I am so and so" now in a kid's brain that is someone they "know". The expert said it is far better to be specific and tell them don't go anywhere with someone that isn't mommy/daddy/grandparents/etc. Basically don't go with anyone that mommy/daddy hasn't told you it is okay to go with. That didnt' work with my oldest...well, not my youngest either but she is special needs. My dd has always been very outgoing and to her, anyone she has spoken to once is no longer a stranger. She is now 13 and I still worry that she would be the dumb blonde helping the perv find his dog....
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 22, 2012 14:51:50 GMT -5
"She is now 13 and I still worry that she would be the dumb blonde helping the perv find his dog...."
<<<snort>>>
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 22, 2012 15:56:21 GMT -5
Chances of being in a car accident is 1 in 4. Much the same as your chance of being molested. So, I don't feel bad that I raise that as a potential issue to think about. It appears to be EXACTLY as valid as bringing up abduction/molestation. I was accosted as a child, walking home from school by a stranger. So for me, it's not abstract. He was a complete stranger. Thankfully, nothing serious happened. I think I was about 10, old enough to not want to mention it because I didn't want to get into trouble for talking to a stranger and young enough to not worry about it happening again because it was in the cemetery and we played/rode bikes in there all time. This would have been 1979-1980ish.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 22, 2012 16:11:31 GMT -5
18 year olds are exactly who we want fighting wars. They think they are invincible, they get a thrill from risky activities, they are full of testosterone, they are physically strong. You don't want to send out a 40 year old, old of shape, risk-adverse couch potato out there.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 22, 2012 16:25:46 GMT -5
18 year olds are exactly who we want fighting wars. They think they are invincible, they get a thrill from risky activities, they are full of testosterone, they are physically strong. All excellent qualities if we still fought wars by lining up on opposite sides of a big field and charging at each other with swords and shields. War is high tech now. You want people that can stay cool under pressure, make intelligent decisions, operate high tech gizmos and whatnot. Even army grunts are issued fancy toys these days, GPS, cameras mounted on their helmets or weapon systems, communication tools, etc. It's been several years since I've seen the previews of the next generation kit, but the helmet had an integrated HUD that displays right on the visor. It integrates the GPS info from the other members of your unit, can be fed surveillance feeds from satellites, drones, planes, etc. to give you an overhead view of the battle in one corner of your visual field, a map with the positions of all identified friendly and enemy troops in another corner, and the rest is transparent so you can see what's going on from your point of view. To be totally honest the whole thing looked like a kick ass video game setup. Being young, dumb, and full of semen won't cut it anymore.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 22, 2012 21:08:41 GMT -5
Oy. I shouldn't watch the news sometimes. The constant stories of murders and child/sexual/emotional abuse have a way of worming into your brain and convincing you that the world is unsafe and people are inherently bad. I say this, because as someone said, it is only one block...but that was how far Etan Paitz had to walk to his bus.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2012 22:20:07 GMT -5
Actually I would like to revise my opinion about the OP. I have no problem with the 6 yr old walking to the babysitter. The 4 yr old is a little young and the 6 yr old is too young to be responsible for the 4 yr old.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 22, 2012 23:20:49 GMT -5
Oy. I shouldn't watch the news sometimes. The constant stories of murders and child/sexual/emotional abuse have a way of worming into your brain and convincing you that the world is unsafe and people are inherently bad. I say this, because as someone said, it is only one block...but that was how far Etan Paitz had to walk to his bus. I very much suspect this is the reaon that there seems to be so much more fear. I don't think that the actual percentages of these things have increased, but now every time it happens, it is in our livingrooms, so the perception is that it is a scary world out there. It is sad that there is so much fear. I did allow my son to walk to and from kindergarten with his babysitter's son (same age).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 23, 2012 6:23:44 GMT -5
We taught our kids that unless the people had eaten dinner at our home, they were a stranger.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 23, 2012 10:51:59 GMT -5
I very much suspect this is the reaon that there seems to be so much more fear. I don't think that the actual percentages of these things have increased, but now every time it happens, it is in our livingrooms, so the perception is that it is a scary world out there. It is sad that there is so much fear. The percentages have actually been steadily, although slowly, declining for a couple decades. The violent crime rate is at the lowest level in three decades. Something I have to constantly keep reminding myself. I never really felt all that unsafe growing up, even though the neighborhoods we lived in were much more crime ridden than the ones my kids are growing up in. I'm not saying the world isn't a scary or dangerous place, so kids still need some street smarts, but it's a lot safer than most of us think it is.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 23, 2012 11:19:45 GMT -5
The percentages have actually been steadily, although slowly, declining for a couple decades. The violent crime rate is at the lowest level in three decades.
Something I have to constantly keep reminding myself. I never really felt all that unsafe growing up, even though the neighborhoods we lived in were much more crime ridden than the ones my kids are growing up in. I'm not saying the world isn't a scary or dangerous place, so kids still need some street smarts, but it's a lot safer than most of us think it is.
So, although the world is safer now than 30 years ago, people are more fearful. Why is that?
(I do recall being afraid as a child. I was afraid of nuclear war and polio - the cold war was going on - and this was before the Salk vacine)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 23, 2012 11:29:27 GMT -5
So, although the world is safer now than 30 years ago, people are more fearful. Why is that? The 24 hour news cycle, the fact that if a kid goes missing in Boise the entire country hears about it within 30 minutes, the internet, people who were abused or whatever several decades ago being more open about talking about it than they used to be... take your pick. I would also put some blame on the way we report crime stats. You know those commercials that will say something like, "Every 2 minutes a child goes missing in the US," I hate those things. They say it that way because it makes it sound worse. Like it happens all the time. Which in a certain way it does, but they never say out of the 320 some-odd million people living in this country, a couple thousand will go missing on any given day, most of them runaways, the vast majority of the others were taken by family members involved in a custody dispute, and a tiny tiny percentage of the remaining kids just disappear.
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