patio

[Jaguar]

Rene, Namaste ~ Wishing you both lots of Healing Love.

[Deleted]

I wonder about them too. I hope!!

[renegadepatio]

sorry guys that i havent been around but, i had a meltdown about 2 weeks ago and wanted to wait until after i say the doctor today to get an update. Here is the meltdown info I am TREATABLE BUT NOT CUREABLE. So when i found that out i wondered why i was doing any treatment if i was just going to die anyways. But here is the update and it isnt as bad as i thought it would be

Had my chemo today, it went fine, it always does. I sleep through most of it, i dont get sick before, during or after it, so i think i am a lucky one. I also have very little pain, until i get my boster shot 24 hours later, then my major bones ache to no end, BUT it only lasts for 3 or 4 days so it is tolerable. Now the other news it seems i am treatable but not cureable, so of course finally got that through my head 2 weeks ago, it was a pity party for 2 days, but i am over that. Talked to the doctor today and he said that with how well i a reacting to treatment that just because i am not cureable doesnt mean that i cant live for many years. I have to go in for a petscan in 2 weeks to see how well chemo has hit the tumors, one big and one small and also the lymth nodes, ctscan has said tumors had shrunk and nodes have melted away, except for one on my right side which had grown. Doctor is hoping that tumors have reduced again, so he can talk to surgon and see if we can remove tumors. If not we will do radiation on them and see if they get small enough to remove. Doctor said treatment plan is to get tumors as small as we can to see if they will stop producing the cancer cells. Even though i am stage four we have caught it to stop it from going to other organs, but of course new petscan will tell. He says that it is possible to get tumor under control and it may go dorminate, BUT that doesnt mean that it wont come back in full force, doctor says some people it doesnt come back and some it does. Surgery would involve cutting out part of my esphogus, and replacing it with some bowel intestine. I also asked about the feeding tube if i was going to have to have it forever and he said no that right now he wants to keep it in because i am still not eating full time, even though i can eat more now without throwing up.

Anyways I guess i always get so positive when he gives me good news.


I am staying positive and trying to get through stuff with sister and not worring so much about myself.

[renegadepatio]

OOPs forgot this tidbit, as youi know my little sister has cancer to, well they put her at terminal. Now i got a call from other sister that went down there to stay with her and she said i should get there this weekend if i want to talk to her while she could make sense. so i planned on going down on sat. well i then got a call yesterday from sister and she said little sis is in hospital in the hospice wing and she doesnt think she is going to get out of hospital alive so i better get down there. i said yes we are coming on the weekend and i wll see her then.

So right now i dont have time to worry about myself i got her to think about, i will worry about myself later.

[Jaguar]

Rene I am so, so, so very sorry about your sister.

[PK Bucko]

Damnit.

[mmhmm]

Patio, I wish I knew the words to offer that would make everything right. I don't. I suspect there aren't any such words.

To your sister, I send wishes for fair winds to sail her beyond suffering. To you, I send my admiration for your strength and courage, and my hope for remission and lots of years ahead to love and be loved. To your mother and the rest of your family, I send my understanding and empathy. I'm so sorry you're all going through such a difficult time. You're always in my thoughts, luv. Always.

[lilyofcourse]

Oh Patty... Darlin.

[b2r]

www.live365.com/genres/healing

[Deleted]

I don't know what to say. My prayers are with you for strength and serenity.

[Deleted]

When the reports have been read and assumed for worse..

'Cause God still has the final say..

Pati..

My goes out to you and your entire family.. And my prayers have not changed on your behalf.. I speak life iinto your entire body, soul, and spirit and that without any doubt..

God bless you..

[Deleted]

Pati, I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Thinking of you during these tough times. God Speed! Prayers your way!!!

[Jaguar]

Rene, Namaste ~ Wishing you both lots of Healing Love.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...best wishes... to you and yours...

[Deleted]

[renegadepatio]

oh it has been a bad week or week and half. Well I went to see my little sister this weekend, well we did get down there before she died, but not before she was out of it. I am hoping that she knew we were there, even though she never woke up. My little sister died with my holding her hand and head on sunday august 12, 2012 at 3:20 am. I didnt even get to show her my almost bald head. I so loved her, but i am sure i never told her enough. So from the time she started testing until she died it was 5 months give or take a couple of weeks. To this day no one can yet tell me where her cancer came from or started. I am glad she is out of the pain she was in but i still didnt want her to die.
We are still doing the benefit next sat for her and we are going to do one in MN for her also, hopefully anyone who want to get together to talk and remember her will be welcome. I figure any money we can raise will help my bil with any expenses that he has.
thank you all for the prayers and well wishes and warm thoughts. I do so love them. I had chemo last thursday and 6 hour drive on sat, visit sister and then got the news on sunday and a six hour drive back, i am an emotional and hurting wreck. hope to get everything under control in the next couple of days.

[Jaguar]

Rene my most sincerest condolences for your sister,

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

So terribly sorry for your loss, Rene. We're never ever fully prepared, are we? Please take care of yourself and your own health during this emotional time.

[mmhmm]

Dearest Rene, I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. Your family is bearing a heavy load. I wish I could help you carry it. Care for yourself and know your sister took your love with her.

[b2r]

Sorry to hear of your loss...


LIVESTRONG

[domic]

[Deleted]

[mmhmm]

[busymom]

Patio, you are at the same time one of the toughest, & one of the sweetest people on the boards. So sorry about the loss of your sister, but I'm sure she knew you were there.


Take all the time you need to catch your breath, & then get back in there & fight. We're praying for you!!

[Deleted]

Pati.. My prayers are tending your matters... Still. May the peace of God settle you and your family's hearts during this time..

fromthe

[Jaguar]

Rene, peace be with you.

[Virgil Showlion]

I'm touched by your story of losing your sister. We all have to pass into the next life one day, but even that certainty doesn't blunt the pain of losing somebody dear to us.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
    - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Your sister is at peace. It may yet be your time of war. As Trudy says on the first page regarding your own cancer: "Kick its arse!"

Have faith, and continue to be strong. We will mourn your sister and pray for God to send you comfort.

[lexxy703]

Oh Patio, I am so very sorry. My heart aches for you.

[crusher]

God speed, Patio. I am a sadder man for knowing this happened. CEF

[b2r]

Hope you had a good weekend!