How expensive can a divorce be

[Deleted]

okay, I'm going for a walk - try not to add too many more pages!

[Taxman10]

May 10, 2012 11:19:37 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"and can they make me look like I have an ass"

You're married...we all know you have an ass

I don't get it?? why would she have an ass once she gets married?

[Firebird]

It comes down to this: You and I both married selfish women. They can be "good" for periods of time, but they are still [SELFISH] women.

WWBG, can I implore you again to add the bracketed word to the last part of your quote? All women are not like this. We do not all turn into sniveling, scheming brats when we don't get our way.

[swamp]

May 10, 2012 11:26:36 GMT -5 Firebird said:

It comes down to this: You and I both married selfish women. They can be "good" for periods of time, but they are still [SELFISH] women.

WWBG, can I implore you again to add the bracketed word to the last part of your quote? All women are not like this. We do not all turn into sniveling, scheming brats when we don't get our way.

We do too.

[midjd]

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Perhaps SF needs to be issued one because he does know!

I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all.

[skubikky]

May 10, 2012 11:17:39 GMT -5 swamp said:

floral spray wall hanging:



ETA: Damn, that's big. Sorry.

OMG.....it's seared into my brain.....get that vile picture outta here....

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 11:31:10 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Perhaps SF needs to be issued one because he does know!

I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all.

How YOU doin'?

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 11:31:10 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Perhaps SF needs to be issued one because he does know!

I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all.

Even 2M, 1F?

[Miss Tequila]

"I don't get it?? why would she have an ass once she gets married? "

Taxi is so pretty

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

May 10, 2012 11:32:23 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

May 10, 2012 11:31:10 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Perhaps SF needs to be issued one because he does know!

I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all.

How YOU doin'?

Fantastic. A couple of months ago, a woman I have known for over 17 years and I finally became a couple. I have been interested in her the entire time. Turns out she was interested in me also. Could not be more happier.

Probably the healthiest relationship I have ever had. The fact that she is 56 and has the body of a 19 year old is definitely a plus.

She had a huge emotional erruption over the weekend. After she calmed down we talked and got the issues resolved. The make-up sex was pretty hot.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

May 10, 2012 11:32:48 GMT -5 @mmc said:

May 10, 2012 11:31:10 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Perhaps SF needs to be issued one because he does know!

I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all.

Even 2M, 1F?

[Deleted]

"I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all"

You didn't go on your first date until you were 33?

That explains a lot!

[muttleynfelix]

May 10, 2012 11:19:49 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

May 10, 2012 11:17:39 GMT -5 swamp said:

floral spray wall hanging:

1992 just called - they want their wall decor back.

LOL. There was one of those over the fireplace in my rental house my senior year of college and that. I guess rural MIssouri is about a decade behind the times.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

May 10, 2012 11:39:13 GMT -5 @bonnap said:

"I've been in the dating world for over 23 years dating all sorts of boomer women. I have seen it all and done it all"

You didn't go on your first date until you were 33?

That explains a lot!

I married at 22... got divorced at age 34, which was 23 years ago.

[Firebird]

May 10, 2012 9:36:53 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

May 10, 2012 9:25:02 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

thanks, Mid. I think it's clear that selfishness is not relegated to one gender, especially since you could argue that Carl is being at least somewhat selfish for wanting to hold off on having kids.

I will freely admit that I am being selfish.

That is where the D word came up. She wants one now or at least know we would start trying within the next year, while I am not sure I want to start trying within the next 3.

Unfair for her to force me into it and unfair for me to keep her from her dream of being a mom before she turns 30.

Can we find a middle ground? I don't know.

'Scuse me? You're being SELFISH by waiting until you feel like you're emotionally and financially ready to have children? I don't think so, dude. DH and I are having a baby right now - we both want it more than anything (so much that we basically said "screw financial readiness," by the way) and I still have days where I'm like "WTF have I done?! I only recently learned how to consistently feed my cat!!"

It's a huge, huge life-altering decision. When you get to the point where you want a baby more than you want to keep your life the way it is, more than you want your finances to be stable, more than you want your freedom or your awesome sex life or whatever else is holding you back, THEN you're ready.

Waiting until you get to that point IS NOT SELFISH. What's selfish is trying to push the partner you're supposed to love as much as you love yourself to that place just because you're ready now.

[Firebird]

May 10, 2012 11:27:30 GMT -5 swamp said:

May 10, 2012 11:26:36 GMT -5 Firebird said:

It comes down to this: You and I both married selfish women. They can be "good" for periods of time, but they are still [SELFISH] women.

WWBG, can I implore you again to add the bracketed word to the last part of your quote? All women are not like this. We do not all turn into sniveling, scheming brats when we don't get our way.

We do too.

I said we don't ALL

[Firebird]

May 10, 2012 9:41:52 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

The fact that there is a hotly contested argument on whether or not a kid should be had is a good indicator in itself that a kid should NOT be had at this point.

Another human life is now at play here. A life that would feel the full impact of the fallout from this.

Precisely.

[midjd]

I don't think Cawaiu is being selfish for wanting to wait until he's financially ready to have a kid - I think he's being selfish for continuing to push back the goalposts despite knowing his wife's desire to have kids ASAP. I highly doubt the "let's have kids now!" was something sprung on him on her 25th birthday.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"So, if I were his wife and found out that my DH is talking about what kind of sex we have and when I am ovulating and how much money we make and about my mother and my cousin who died, etc etc etc - yeah, I would be "slightly" upset, bc it really wouldn't take anyone that long to find us/me if they wanted to.":::...

Here is another "deflector fight" that she will try to use to squirm out of her responsibility. I'm sure she has shared all that and more with her cousins and family, which one could argue is even worse because they actually know him. We may "know" cawiau, but we don't "know" cawiau...

The best way to argue with people like her is to ignore/deny/deflect any argument made against what you want, and to be completely inflexible.

[Deleted]

"This a cultural thing Carl? It seems white women are in to waiting these days and having fewer kids (backed up by statistics). She is bowing to cultural pressure?"

Did you read the Economist's special edition on population? Every culture around the world save one, dropped their fertility rate to lower than 2 once women got education and access to birth control. The one exception was African nations where birth control was used to space children apart over a 20 year period of time. They were still having 4 or 5 children.

[whoami]

May 10, 2012 11:16:22 GMT -5 Firebird said:

What I saw was 18 pages of what an evil bitch she is and that once HE decided that they shouldn't have kids yet it was over.

It IS over when one person says no (or at least it bloody well should be) on a matter like children.

It amazes me that there are people who think it's totally okay to put one over on a spouse because they'll presumably love the baby once it arrives. That's an absolutely vile thing to do. Sure, it completely violates any notion of marital trust - but more than that, you are risking the possibility of giving YOUR CHILD a mother or a father who didn't really and truly want them.

If you're okay with that possibility, then you have no fucking business bringing a child into the world.

Agreed. I also wonder what the reaction would be if the situation were reversed. He wants the kid but she doesnt...so he pokes holes in the condom. Id go nuclear if I got pregnant by someone who knew my feelings and did whatever they wanted anyway. Absolutely unforgivable to me.

[Firebird]

That bit at the end where she goes apocalyptic and says "oh so you don't WANT kids with me" is the typical baseless argument a [SELFISH] woman uses when she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. She is trying to push you back in the other direction by going so far out of reason that you look bad in comparison.

SELFISH woman (or better yet, selfish person). Come on, you can do it. Believe me, it is not just women who pull this kind of crap. I have had male partners pull it on me with annoying regularity. In order to avoid the issue, they make it about something else entirely.

I'm obviously not saying women never do it, but not ALL women do it and plenty of men do as well.

[midjd]

The best way to argue with people like her is to ignore/deny/deflect any argument made against what you want, and to be completely inflexible.

Every therapist in the world would disagree.

[swamp]

The best way to argue with people like her is to ignore/deny/deflect any argument made against what you want, and to be completely inflexible.

Really?
I mean, I have no idea how to deal with a person like that in a personal relationship because I refuse to deal with brats, but in my professional duties, I talk them into something in a way that they think it's their idea.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I think it's a little depressing that despite dozens of threads in which dozens of women have told him NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE YOUR WIFE, he doesn't seem to believe it...":::...

I'd abandon my beliefs if they weren't constantly proven right.

[movingforward]

"The best way to argue with people like her is to ignore/deny/deflect any argument made against what you want, and to be completely inflexible."

Yeah, that sounds like wonderful advice

[Firebird]

May 10, 2012 9:52:26 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

the end does NOT justify the means. Why is that so hard to understand?

It doesn't justify it for YOU. For HIM - it doesn't seem to matter, since he is only upset about lying. Why is THAT so hard to understand?

It seems he would have been perfectly happy with the "end" - the baby.

Lena

Are you saying you're totally okay with your spouse lying to you about something this important when the end result is something that you DON'T WANT RIGHT NOW, as long as you're not vehemently opposed to it?

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 11:52:34 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

...:::"I think it's a little depressing that despite dozens of threads in which dozens of women have told him NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE YOUR WIFE, he doesn't seem to believe it...":::...

I'd abandon my beliefs if they weren't constantly proven right.

By ONE woman.

[8 Bit WWBG]

All of you getting mad about the ketchup example need to remember that he is simply being clear of his expectations up front. If the genders were reversed and a woman was stating her beliefs up front, she'd be applauded.