Mid-Life Crisis

[Miss Tequila]

May 7, 2012 18:06:26 GMT -5 imawino said:

May 7, 2012 18:05:07 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am having one right now and I just need to get over it.
- losing patience
- everything get on my last nerves
- feel like divorcing my wife and moving somewhere new and start all over.
- told a few family members to go fuck off this past weekend.
- currently not answering my phone or talking to anyone
- people just piss me off

Honey that's not a midlife crisis, that's PMS.

Bis, you have pms everyday?

[imawino]

May 7, 2012 18:07:37 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

May 7, 2012 18:06:26 GMT -5 imawino said:

Honey that's not a midlife crisis, that's PMS.

Bis, you have pms everyday?

Ha! I'm a raging bitch every day, but I have an excuse for one week a month.

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:05:07 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am having one right now and I just need to get over it.
- losing patience
- everything get on my last nerves
- feel like divorcing my wife and moving somewhere new and start all over.
- told a few family members to go fuck off this past weekend.
- currently not answering my phone or talking to anyone
- people just piss me off

I've thought about a few of those things.

[Malarky]

May 7, 2012 18:06:06 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I wish I had the time for mid-life crisis........ I can think of a few things I would do.......

Lena

I waited for my kids to be teenagers. ;D

Seriously, every time someone gasped in shock and dismay that we were going away ON SCHOOL DAYS and WHO WILL CARE FOR THE CHILDREN? we shrugged and said they could take care of each other. I have two, she has four. They lived.

Frankly, I think they were glad to see us go and sorry to see us come home.

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:06:26 GMT -5 imawino said:

May 7, 2012 18:05:07 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am having one right now and I just need to get over it.
- losing patience
- everything get on my last nerves
- feel like divorcing my wife and moving somewhere new and start all over.
- told a few family members to go fuck off this past weekend.
- currently not answering my phone or talking to anyone
- people just piss me off

Honey that's not a midlife crisis, that's PMS.

Probably is who knows!

Anyway I told my wife not to move to Oneonta, to stay where she is and to leave me the fuck alone.

I told my mom that I was 27 and paying my own damn bills and next time she wants to tell me how to live my life to shut the hell up!

And told another cousin that in case she hasn't notice I wasn't her baby daddy so stop calling me every couple weeks/months asking for money. Her son is my godson not my son.

And customers? Co-workers? Urrrghh!!! I just don't want to be around people right now.

Just having a really bad month and it just started.

[constanz22]

May 7, 2012 18:14:43 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

May 7, 2012 18:06:26 GMT -5 imawino said:

Honey that's not a midlife crisis, that's PMS.

Probably is who knows!

Anyway I told my wife not to move to Oneonta, to stay where she is and to leave me the fuck alone.

I told my mom that I was 27 and paying my own damn bills and next time she wants to tell me how to live my life to shut the hell up!

And told another cousin that in case she hasn't notice I wasn't her baby daddy so stop calling me every couple weeks/months asking for money. Her son is my godson not my son.

And customers? Co-workers? Urrrghh!!! I just don't want to be around people right now.

Just having a really bad month and it just started.

It's the full moon...people are batshit crazy...give it a few days and it'll be better!

[Sum Dum Gai]

Anyway I told my wife not to move to Oneonta, to stay where she is and to leave me the fuck alone.

Whoa... what the heck happened there?

The other ones I won't comment on, except to say good for you.

[Deleted]

Carl! No really,

I've been saying I'm having a mid-life crisis for the couple of years. How long does it last? I turned 40 a few months ago. Apparently I don't quite know what to do with myself. Wherever I am (unless I'm away on vacation), I want to be somewhere else.

First I wanted to buy a motorcycle. I don't even know how to ride. Then I decided I want a sports car. I don't really want to have to pay for it though. I'm single, so a boy toy would be nice, but he has to be willing to follow my rules, like not bothering me when I don't want to be bothered.

So far the most drastic thing I've done was to run away to the Caribbean twice in one year and take a few short trips close to home, but when I come back it doesn't take long for me to get restless again because it's the same ol' same ol'. I stay antsy to do something DIFFERENT.

[Miss Tequila]

Yikes Carl, is everything ok???

[Miss Tequila]

I think one of the earlier posters hit it...at least for me. I am 40, half of my life is over...the good half! Now I'm sitting here thinking, is this all there is? I love my family, adore my kids....but damn, somedays I dream of another life. And certainly another career...who knew accounting was this f'n boring???lol

[swamp]

May 7, 2012 18:29:04 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I think one of the earlier posters hit it...at least for me. I am 40, half of my life is over...the good half! Now I'm sitting here thinking, is this all there is? I love my family, adore my kids....but damn, somedays I dream of another life. And certainly another career...who knew accounting was this f'n boring???lol

Substitute law for accounting and there you have it.

[Peace Of Mind]

I'd find a boyfriend but that's just another thing on my "to do" list.

Isn't that the point?!

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:05:07 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am having one right now and I just need to get over it.
- losing patience
- everything get on my last nerves
- feel like divorcing my wife and moving somewhere new and start all over.
- told a few family members to go fuck off this past weekend.
- currently not answering my phone or talking to anyone
- people just piss me off

carl take it easy, don't do anything drastic....find someone you can talk too.....this is not like you

[swamp]

May 7, 2012 18:31:13 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

I'd find a boyfriend but that's just another thing on my "to do" list.

Isn't that the point?!

The chore list, not the fun stuff list. I don't even have a fun stuff list anymore.

[Sum Dum Gai]

who knew accounting was this f'n boring

Every freshmen who ever had to take Acc 101 for their undergrad?? *shrug*

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:32:02 GMT -5 @robbase2012 said:

May 7, 2012 18:05:07 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am having one right now and I just need to get over it.
- losing patience
- everything get on my last nerves
- feel like divorcing my wife and moving somewhere new and start all over.
- told a few family members to go fuck off this past weekend.
- currently not answering my phone or talking to anyone
- people just piss me off

carl take it easy, don't do anything drastic....find someone you can talk too.....this is not like you

Especially the part about your wife.

[Miss Tequila]

May 7, 2012 18:33:29 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

who knew accounting was this f'n boring

Every freshmen who ever had to take Acc 101 for their undergrad?? *shrug*

LOL...have I mentioned I drank...a LOT back then??? It didn't seem as boring through a raging f'n hangover

[Sum Dum Gai]

I find that life in general is a lot more interesting through a raging hangover. That could be due to all the weird places you wake up though.

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:14:43 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

May 7, 2012 18:06:26 GMT -5 imawino said:

Honey that's not a midlife crisis, that's PMS.

Probably is who knows!

Anyway I told my wife not to move to Oneonta, to stay where she is and to leave me the fuck alone.

I told my mom that I was 27 and paying my own damn bills and next time she wants to tell me how to live my life to shut the hell up!

And told another cousin that in case she hasn't notice I wasn't her baby daddy so stop calling me every couple weeks/months asking for money. Her son is my godson not my son.

And customers? Co-workers? Urrrghh!!! I just don't want to be around people right now.

Just having a really bad month and it just started.

Can you take a couple of vacation days to just recharge? It seems like you have a lot on your mind.

[Malarky]

For some of you, your kids are young and you really can't just go away, even on a well planned whim.

I just turned 50 and I've been antsy for a couple of years now. I am just now really able to do something about it.

I'm not dumb or naive enough (sorry to disappoint DD) to think that my kids don't need supervision, but I have a lot more freedom to do stuff I want than I did a couple of years ago.

Your turn is coming.

[Gardening Grandma]

Wow! From my early forties on, my life got better and better. When the kids were on their own, I actually (for the first time) had discretionary income. At 42 I learned to scuba dive. Joined a local dive club and started making dive trips to exotic locations. At 48 I married DH. Got him hooked on travel.

Midlife was (and still is) absolutely the best time of my life......

[Cookies Galore]

Carl, I hope everything is okay and it's just full moon remnants! Your online family cares!

[Deleted]

Anyway I told my wife not to move to Oneonta, to stay where she is and to leave me the fuck alone.

Most of the stuff on your list is fairly reasonable for an almost 30-year-old guy. I am sure both of my kids (mid-30s) want to tell me the same some of the time. I try to bite my tongue, but that HURTS.

That said, there is something more going on with your wife than the distance thing. That is your business, of course, but to use a really old expression, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater."

Figure out what the real issues are and talk about them. Most of the time you sound like you love your wife except the occasions when you portray her as entitled. But you haven't done that in a while.

Maybe life is just hard right now? That will pass, Carl. There is a learning curve to any new job. I used to warn my kids about the "honeymoon" period and how they would want to leave in the first six months. We all sort of feel like that.

And relationships shift. That's why the phrase "seven year itch" was invented. But if you want to work through what is bothering you, it can be done.

I will "hope" for you since I am not certain that prayer won't offend you <g>.

[Deleted]

Wow! From my early forties on, my life got better and better. When the kids were on their own, I actually (for the first time) had discretionary income. At 42 I learned to scuba dive. Joined a local dive club and started making dive trips to exotic locations. At 48 I married DH. Got him hooked on travel.

Mine improved in my late 40s for much of the same reason. I also finally got the divorce that I had wanted for fifteen years. I just simply couldn't do it when the kids were growing up. I wanted to give them the childhood I hadn't had.

I'm 58 now, and life is good. DH has some health issues that we need to work through (nothing like cancer, and he had heart disease before we got married), but otherwise life is good. I am 8 years from retirement and looking so forward to it. I am also three weeks away from two months of time off.

I can only have mid-life crises in months that don't optimize sunshine.

[swamp]

I'm 42 and have a 4 and a 6 year old. It's going to be a while before I can take on any time intensive activities.

[Deleted]

Malarky, come visit LOL!

My next door neighbors work 24/7. They have four kids, they were gone from 8:30 am till 10pm, at best. They had a full-time housekeeper PLUS a live-in au pair when the kids were younger.

You NEVER saw her, she was working 24/7, her own PR agency. We saw him for about 18 mo (or rather) heard him, loudly, when he was laid off for 18 months a few years ago, and obviously very frustrated.

His midlife crisis: he turned 50 last year, and took time off to sail across the Atlantic with his best buddies (from HS). It took about two weeks longer than it was supposed to, he's still gainfully employed.

We NEVER saw her, except on weekends. Suddenly I'm seeing her all over the place, I'm like, L, what are you doing around on a weekday?!

She said, you know I've been fed up with work for a while. (She was i PR, and I used to work with her agency when I was at my old job.) I'll be 50 this year, so I got fed up, I finally closed up shop. She said, when women turn 50, they their jobs. When men turn 50, they their wives, and buy a fancy car.

She was obviously kidding (they are still together and probably always will be, they have one of the best relationships I know). But she made me laugh!

I got over my mid-life crisis by taking a year off and changing fields (not just jobs). DH got over his by getting run over by a cement truck, spending five weeks in the hospital, and becoming partially handicapped.

I prefer my solution LOL.

I remember my old therapist used to say, everybody needs a change sometimes. Either you choose and implement that change for yourself, or the universe will do it for you.

I firmly believe that.

[Malarky]

May 7, 2012 19:29:16 GMT -5 swamp said:

I'm 42 and have a 4 and a 6 year old. It's going to be a while before I can take on any time intensive activities.

Start small, Swamp. I think I read a book when mine were 5 and 8. In one sitting. Not caring that I didn't make dinner. I think it was the first time I ever served "scrounge" for dinner. I put it on the menu much more frequently these days.

[Deleted]

I'm 42 and have a 4 and a 6 year old. It's going to be a while before I can take on any time intensive activities.

But Swamp, you can either get a sitter or work it out with DH if there is an evening activity you are interested in.

My kids are 14-25 and I never made OUTSIDE time for me apart from the occasional lunch with a friend or "girls night out" (we have had a group going here for a decade), and recently, Book Club. I REALLY regret that now. My lawyer friend in Rochester is a black belt. Nearly ALL my friends have a passion, but I don't.

I used to act / sing but the idea of getting back on stage for the first time in 30 years as a chubby 52YO is fairly daunting LOL.

[Malarky]

May 7, 2012 19:30:08 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Malarky, come visit LOL!

One of these days when the kids are out of college. France is one of the few places I could get DH to go voluntarily. He spent a summer in there when he was in high school. Instead of yet another year of summer school to learn the language, he was offered the opportunity to work on some sort of tourist barge. Gotta love that private school education. Of course, the French people he met all begged him to stop slaughtering their language, and spoke to him in English. Oh well, he wouldn't have learned French in summer school either.

So maybe someday......


And to the dot police..........................I'll waste as many dots as I want to......................................................................

[Deleted]

Malarky it doesn't look like we're going anywhere anytime soon LOL.

ETA:.......... and .......... and ............. And by the way, ...........!