Mindful March Controlled/No Spend Thread

[mizbear]

I am starting to make contact with lenders this week so I can see how much I can get approved for on a home. DM has asked if we could buy a home if DB could move in- I gave her a long list of stipulations that would apply- such as him having to pay rent, abide by house rules, it would not be permanent, no smoking, etc. The house would be my permanent home so, DM is all for the rules. He would also not be on any mortgage papers.

I don't really want him living with us- but reality tells me that if anything happens to him while he is living in his van- I will lose both of my parents.

I have resigned myself to the fact that I can't clean up everyone else's mess.

[sapphire12]

bear -- aiye aiye aiye. May you get the best living situation for your health and peace of mind.

[redwagon]

Angel - so good to see you back! And I'm so jealous of your move to Italy. It's so amazing over there. Definitely visit Assisi and Positano! Good luck on your savings goals!

Sapphire - sounds like another amazing trip!!

mizbear - hugs. I'm sorry DB continues to be an issue for you and DM. I wish you the best of luck (and sanity) as you move forward.

We should close on our refinance in a few weeks. Want that done. It's not costing us a penny, and we'll save over $100/month on our payments, it's just a hassle of the paperwork. And they're changing my name on the title to my married name. Sad. I guess I'll get used to it eventually...

Had a fun weekend at the local casino. Had a super relaxing massage, which apparently I needed, as I earned "Tensest client" of the day from the masseuse. She was well worth it - my back feels so much better! So, girls and I had fun. It's good to get away from the boys from time to time, even though I'm more of a guys girl than a girls girl. They're good people (blue's friends and friends' SOs) and as I don't have too many girlfriends down here I'm glad I'm getting closer to them and can do things like this with them. Was a bit spendy, but not horrible, and my freelance checks (when they come in) will pay it back. I was able to cover the room itself out of my personal savings, and that felt really good. Now I have to replenish that fund, however meagerly. I never get too much in there because there's always something!

Have a great Monday all (or at least try)!

[MittenKitten]

rocky: I wanted to mention that many here give themselves a daily limit of $5 before they call it a spend day. Maybe that would help? I found this thread gets in your head for even the little things. I remember driving home from the grocery store thinking that I didn't want to ruin my no spend by purchasing a coffee (I don't count grocery shopping as a spend)

mizbear: Not that my opinion counts for much but I don't think having DB living with you EVER is good for you. You know he won't abide by the rules and once he is in he is going to be very difficult to kick out. Look how long it took to get him out of your DGM home!

Did go anywhere yesterday so that made an easy no spend. Today I need to purchase dog food. As the dog seems to have allergies I am going to purchase a better dog food. Odd how it seems to not only be the people with more allergies but also the animals. What is up with that?

Have a great day all! I would love to travel to both Italy and San Francisco. My BIL's sister lives there.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

MittenKitten: I thought about it, but I think I'll try just the NSDs for this month. Mostly because I finally had one yesterday! ;D

So, 1 NSD/31 days

[mizbear]

MK- If your opinions did not count- I would not ask for them. I agree with you wholeheartedly- he should not under any circumstances be living with us. Or at least not with me. He has abusive tendencies and is a leech. He already has tried to mark my apartment- I let him use the shower and he left his shower gel and everything in my shower- uh- NO!

My BFF J actually said that it might be good if the lenders say that I need some time to build some savings or get DM back on track before buying (even though there are people in worse shape than me buying homes). She says that is a surefire way to keep him out of my home and forces DM to make a decision. I have already made mine. I will not jeopardize my lease.

I am 2S/ 2NS this month. I spent a small amount of cash on TBear and ZBear to make them comfortable. One of their maternal great-grandmothers is in hospice care for comfort measures and could die at anytime.

I don't know what I would do with a drama free month at my house...

[dakota4600]

I'm here and like Red, just really busy. DH & I are making a concerted effort to limit our screen times after mini-D goes to bed (or at least be together watching the same thing if we are). While we aren't having problems we both realized that we tend to go to opposite ends of the house and get on the computers instead of interacting with each other. So now we are playing a game or watching a movie or just talking instead. I don't have tons of time at work as things are busier, plus I'm ramping up the job hunt so I want things running smoothly here in case I get something new.

Mini-D spiked a scary high fever (104) on Friday night. It scared me when we called the ped on Friday and they had a doctor call us back not a nurse and she gave us a long list of things that meant we needed to get him to the ER ASAP. Then they gave us the earliest possible appt on Saturday, then they called us on Sunday to check on him. We spent Saturday AM at the Dr's office and the Children's hospital for chest x-rays. He has pneumonia in both lungs now. It was just in his left lung. So we are keeping home probably for the entire week if we can work out a schedule that works for us and the grandparents. He isn't contagious but the doctor doesn't want him exposed to any other respiratory viruses.

Angel- Welcome back! I'm in the KC area, so let me know if you need help finding anything let me know. Have fun in Italy a friend of DH's was stationed in or near Venice for a few years. They took their dog with them too.

Sapphire- Love San Francsisco. DH & I went there on our honeymoon.

3cats- Good luck with the savings. Sounds like you have a good plan in place.

QOTW- We have our mini-savings at our local bank that we use for annual expenses (if we can't cash flow them at the time). For car/house expenses we put $500 a month into the big savings account and I mentally divide that between EF, house and car. Right now all deposits are going to car since we just bought the new truck. We need to build that fund back up so that when my car (12 years old, 150,000 miles) starts having major problems we can replace it. (Honestly I don't have an issue with borrowing from the other two funds if my car died tomorrow, knock on wood.)

COTW- We need to get a focus back on putting over and above the autodeposits into savings, we've gotten complacent and are spending it if we have it. I've been thinking about is since the first of the year and really need to sit down with DH & go over where we are. This past year we added nothing outside of autodrafts to savings, but did buy each other nice anniversary presents, took a weeks vacation, bought new appliances for the kitchen and new beds for both mini-D & ourselves and we didn't take anything out of savings to pay for those.

[sapphire12]

dakota -- so sorry to hear about mini D. Hope he gets well soon.

[sheilaincali]

MK: I found out with our dogs that Corn allergies are pretty common in dogs. We were on a fancy Solid Gold brand dog food (specifically the Holistic Blendz) but switched to Precise after Holly passed since her allergies were the worst. We tried Zoe on a regular food but she just couldn't digest the corn well at all. The Precise is much cheaper than the Solid Gold. We had to get her the fancier cookies too- milk bones cause horrible reactions in her too.

[mizbear]

Corn is notable for being a GMO veggie. Could very well be a culprit.

Hope mini-D feels better and soon- I feel like doggie poo when I have pneumonia and am a notoriously grouchy Bear.

[azmom]

Hey There Strangers- Miss Me? I missed you all. I think of you often even though I haven't had the time to keep up. I am going to try and give it a go this month but I may be only able to come and post my update. I am going to try and get 10 NSD. Softball and Baseball has started for my DS and DD and soccer will start at the end of the month for my Baby DD. I really need a menu plan to keep from spending like a mad lady and oh- yea a budget would be nice too.

Since last I was here (or at least I think):
* DH has been promoted to Sales Manager and when things are good they are really good (not used to having extra funds) and well we haven't seen what a bad month looks like since he took his new position and that scares me. I really need to SAVE. (He works primarily off of commission).
* I am on day two of six weeks of being in a walking boot due to a stress fracture in my left leg ( cause of my injury causing me to drop out of marathon training). I am sad...very sad.
*My blog has tripled in traffic (not that it's very much considering) and I want to really focus on it and other writings while I am forced to sit still (as much as a mom of four is able).

Angel: I knew you were going to Italy but I thought it was to visit. I had no idea you were moving there. How exciting!

Dakota: I have been doing the same thing when my DH gets home from work. New job, equals more hours. I have been putting my phone down, not getting on the computer and hardest of all getting my nose out of a book.

I NEED accountability. It's becoming too easy to stop and grab something, anything because we can. We have been on a shoe string budget for so long it felt good to splurge on crap for a little while but now it's time to get serious again, make a new budget (or spending plan) and stick to it!

Oh-yea and I have gained 15+ pounds since I moved into town three years ago..wow it's been three years! **SIGH**

[Deleted]

Today was a spend day. I bought hamburger buns, protein shake, and gas. Tomorrow will be a HUGE spend day since I have to pay around $600 for Big Yellow Dog's vet bill. He is getting his teeth cleaned, a tumor removed, a microchip, update rabies, and bordetalla. It all has to be done before we move so I might as well bite the bullet now.

MK--My Big Yellow Beast is allergic to dog foods with grain in them. I buy him Blue Wilderness. It is grain free and he hasn't had any problems since I put him on it. He also does well on the raw food diet, but it is a lot more work.

Mizbear-Hugs, I can't imagine the stress you are going through right now with DB. I don't know the story on him, but it really doesn't sound like a healthy situation.

redwagon---oh how I envy your massage!!! I need one so bad. It has been really stressful here since December (won't go into gory details, it was ugly school situation that is handled now). Anyway, the tension in my neck was so bad I was down for days with a migraine. Next time you go....you should come pick me up to go with you! ;D

Dakota-So sorry to hear about Mini-D. How scary! Her Royal Highness had pneumonia when she was in kindergarden and it scared the bejeazus out of me. Hugs to you and your mini-D.

As far as KC goes....I have been here since June, and have explored a bit. I will definitely send you a PM if I need your help finding something though! If you are ever up for coffee let me know!

Azmom!!! So sorry to hear about your leg! That must really stink. I know how much you enjoy running. Just don't try to come back too soon. You don't want to do anything to hurt yourself worse.
Yup, we are moving to Italy! It is a 3 year assignment that my DH was specifically requested for! I never thought it would happen. We never get AWESOME assignments. But the big man upstairs was probably pretty sick and tired of my whining and begging for my dreams to finally come true...and here we are....3 months from moving to Italy!
Weight gain- I hear ya! I have gained 10 pounds since moving to Kansas. I can promise you all it isn't from eating Ding Dongs or Cupcakes! It is from all the darn good microbrew beers here! I have cut back on how much beer I drink and I started eating clean today. My coworkers all looked at me like aliens had abducted me and sent a weird clone in my place. I normally inhale the school lunches (cause I am starving by lunch time) and eat pieces of candy pretty much all day. (ok...so that is also probably why I have gained weight ;D)

[spruby]

sorry i haven't posted much - my life has been consumed by work and it isn't easing up any time soon.

the question i'm stuck on is when do you walk away? from a 6 figure salary, good benefits - including health insurance, practically guaranteed employment, work that does good - but that leaves you ready to cry on the way home, consumes your life at times, forces you to work on a daily basis with people who don't respect your work style but have no qualms with using it for the "greater good", and you work with folks who don't share your work values.

how do you overcome the fear?

everyone take care - this month I'll just be reading along and muddling through

i don't have an answer to my question but i'll tell you we're squirreling away every buck and making plans

[mizbear]

spruby- I think you just answered you rown question.
You NEED to walk away. Start tweaking your resume NOW. Being brave is not an abscence of fear. Just the opposite.

[ses]

spruby--Those golden handcuffs can really make life miserable. Good luck wrestling with your life choices.

Ladies, i did something major today! I spent $40 totally frivolously! Television is so miserable that I bought a 12 DVD set of Agatha Christie's Poirot mysteries. Now I can plan a "movie night" and have something worth watching. This does not sound like much, but if you knew how hard it is for me to spend out of budget--even if it is my fun money-- you would realize what a big deal this is.

I have to remember it is healthy to spend on "me" from time to time. I have learned the NSD lifestyle so well that I go overboard a bit on frugality. It has become something of a game I play against myself.

I have been purging lately. It is no fun and boring. But it is keeping me productive and busy. I have learned that I am a paper and print magnet, otherwise how could there be so much of it in my house. I had also forgotten how heavy a box of papers and/or books can be! The cats have been of no help either, once they learned how soft a bag of shredded papers can be. It took me no time at all to learn to tightly close the bags. I'm trying to get as much done before tomorrow evening so I can watch the Super Tuesday returns. They should be interesting.

[sapphire12]

Happy Tuesday all -- Yesterday ended up being a CSD. I was hoping for a NSD, but sometimes you have to buy something. Gas and an office gift. I have office expenditures again next week and again in April. I love my Secretary so it's all good, it's just I don't like the office line item on principle, I guess. Ah well, it is what it is for now.
1CSD, 1NSD

spruby -- hugs for you. Your health comes first. There is the old adage about not leaving a job unless you have another one, unless you don't the money. Is your agency offering buyouts? Are you eligible? It's amazing how many people are taking it here, a mix of pay-grades.

red -- I'm too in the process of closing on a no-cost refinance. It will save me $300 a month. I spoke with my guy yesterday and it should be a done deal sometime next week. Woohoo.

azmom -- sorry to hear about your leg. I do miss hearing your training stories.

Ses -- I'm surprised you are not enjoying the purge process, at least the cats are having fun. I find it such a relief to purge, but then I think I am truly focused on downsizing in the next year or so. I cancelled decorating one of my bedrooms b/c it won't fit in my smaller abode, wherever or whenever it happens. When it's time to call the movers, I can say with honestly that there is 1 less bedroom to pack than is in my house. That bedroom is housing stuff that will be tossed on moving day, well minus the ironing board.

Angel -- hope all goes well with Big Yellow today.

[Deleted]

Good Morning ladies.

My Pookie bear was up half the night throwing up. Goose is going to stay with him for part of the day and then I am going to stay with him the other part.
My hip and knee are killing me this morning. The daily changes in the weather are to blame. It will be in the 70's one day and then cold and rainy and in the 40's the next. I feel all the weather changes in my bones!

SES- we are going through and purging stuff too. This past weekend we carried up so many bags of garbage from the basement. Just things that we have moved with us over and over again that we don't even use. We also have boxes ready to go to Goodwill. I hate clutter, but for some reason I have a lot in my basement. I guess because I can't see it? Good luck on your purging....and enjoy your movies! You deserve to treat yourself on occasion!

Sapphire--thanks for the well wishes on Big Yellow. I just get so nervous about him not waking up from being put under. I don't know what I would do without my Big Yellow Beast. He is my baby and he comforted me after I had to put Old Man Dog down. I know it is a routine procedure (mostly....), but I still worry.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Well, today will be a spend day as I'm getting a haircut and buying some concert tickets. I'm spending 10% of my tax refund on myself!

Anywho, I forgot to address the QOTW. I use the envelope system, so I create an envelope for many upcoming expenses, like a laptop replacement, and add extra $ to it from my weekly cash. For bigger items, I have an account at a separate credit union that I auto-pay to each payroll. It has no checks or debit card, so it's intentionally hard to remove money from. I am currently saving for a car in there.

[ses]

Rocky--I thought I was the only one who intentionally put mental and physical road blocks between me and accessing my money! Nice to know there are others who do the same thing.

[dakota4600]

Yesterday was an NS. I don't count medical spending against me, because it is usually necessary. Took mini-D for a recheck and had to get him some benadryl for night time.

Other than that it was a quiet day for us. We are laying low all week so mini-D gets better quickly. He did seem to be more himself last night and was being really silly. For now our plan is for him to stay out of school all week, we are lucky that the grandparents are happy to have him. I am just going to take Friday off work and stay home with him.

Rocky Mtn- Enjoy spending your 10% on yourself. I will though advocate adjusting your withholdings so you get less of a refund.

SES- Good for you buying something you wanted not just needed.

AZmom- Sorry about the stress fracture. I see your life is back in busy mode again. Hope the bad months of DH's new salary are better than his previous good months.

Spurby- I completely understand your dilemma, my old job was like that. I was single and couldn't leave without something else lined up. I stayed until I found this job. Even though it isn't perfect, my worst days here are better than a good day at my old job.

Angel- There is tons of crap going around right now hope pookey feels better soon.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Dakota: Don't worry, I don't get much refund. I was in Payroll for years, so I always keep it round $500 as a bumper. I had some education credits this year which bumped it up $200. Trust me, I don't give the govt a free loan!

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Mar 6, 2012 11:28:18 GMT -5 ses said:

Rocky--I thought I was the only one who intentionally put mental and physical road blocks between me and accessing my money! Nice to know there are others who do the same thing.

I'd put a moat around it if I could! ;D

[azmom]

1 NSD and it was well earned. It was really hard to consciously make a plan to not spend yesterday and bundle my purchases together with today ( I have to go to the grocery store). It used to be second nature, kind of by force because we lived so far away, but now it is too convenient to just run up to the store on the corner.

Angel: Oh my goodness I am on day 13 of a self imposed 30 day fast from beer and wine. I'm certain that has contributed to more than a few pounds. Even though I stopped training I kept eating and drinking the same, not good.

Sapphire: Thanks. I am training to adjust the discipline I used to train to other areas of my life like healthy eating and reading and writing. Hopefully in six weeks I'll be back to square one and starting over one mile at a time. There are a serious of 5ks over the Summer I have my eye on BUT I know I need and want to be completely healed before I start up again.

Dakota: YES! Life is back to busy but ironically it keeps more scheduled and budgeted. Last night I watched my daughter SMILE through her entire practice. It was the greatest gift just to watch her shine. Thanks, hopefully the bad months aren't so bad. At least he has the chance to make money from the sales of eight salesman and not just his own efforts-that makes a big difference I still need to learn to SAVE!

I'm hoping to get a CSD today. They have roast on sale buy one get one free and $0.77 per pound whole chicken sale ending today so I need to pick up a couple of each and I am all out of laundry soap. Trying really hard to get all the laundry done and all the kids clothes purged and/or put handed down by the end of the week. ** Remember when I first joined I didn't even own a crock pot and me cook a whole chicken HA!**

~Happy No Spending~

[redwagon]

azmom - ouch! sending healing vibes your way!

spruby - hugs. sounds like you have a plan somewhat in motion.

ses - go you! sometimes you need to splurge on yourself!

Started a new zumba class yesterday. It works out to $1 a class. Yay groupon! And blue is done with his latest grad class so he has a few weeks off to destress. Thank goodness. The last one was a doozy.

Other than that, just plugging along!

[MittenKitten]

azmom: The leg is a bummer! I agree with I believe shanen DON'T push it too quickly once you are well. Hope you heal quickly. I really love watching my kids find joy in things. It just makes whatever it is so much better for me.

dakota: Hope miniD is better soon. I have never had pnemonia and hope never to have it!

spruby: I think in order to walk away from such a job you need to have a plan first. Figure out how much you need in savings for a year to live off of since it could take that long or longer to replace that income. I would also do everything you can to find some type of job before you leave. I would also give yourself and end date. That way when things get rough you can tell yourself that no matter I only have X number of days left. I had a really bad situation in 99/2000 where I really wanted to quit but I gave myself to the end of the school year (I was working for a school district) before I would either transfer to a different school or quit if that didn't happen. Also can you take a leave of absence? That way you have something to fall back on if leaving doesn't work. Good luck and hugs.

red: Oh I so NEED to get into exercise again. I am trying to figure out how to work it all out. But I also need my shoulder in operating condition before I do anything. I don't want to injure it worse. I see the PT Friday. I think I am going to give Adkins a try for a few weeks to get my eating under control.

mizbear: So glad you are thinking of your health! Sounds like your brother is bad news!

Beautiful day today, 57 degrees and sunny! Love it.

I think with the truck value and what I plan on putting into the vehicle/braces fund we have a really good baseline/could actually purchase a decent used vehicle. Which I am very happy about.

I have also been looking into hiring someone else to help with DS#2. I just can't do it all and I need someone to get him to sit at the table and eat dinner with us etc. I can't make dinner, get the other 2-3 kids set, myself set AND get him to stay there. The staff person would get paid out of the waiver so those funds would not be out of my pocket. I also want him to be able to participate more in our lives but I need someone to be with him. Hard to have someone in your home when you are there, feels like I should be able to do it but with the others I need help. We have 17 hours allocated towards help I just need to get it done. On average we only use 3-6 hours a week....

[Deleted]

Big Yellow Dog is home and is doing well. The bill was cheaper than I was quoted, $510 is so much cheaper than I was expecting.

Mitten-Don't feel bad that you can't do it all on your own. Utilitize the help you are able to get. You have a full plate that is for sure. I don't know how you get everything done.

[Honeylioness]

Final February Numbers:

NEO = 25
CSD = 23

March Goals:

NEO = 25
CSD = 25


Sorry if some of these comments seem "out of date"


mizbear - Glad to see that you were able to help your mother trade in her gas guzzler. And yes, be sure the foreclosed property is not burdened with faulty wiring, foundation or plumbing.

SES - While I can understand you feeling a little uncomfortable with being privy to your friends financial details, I am glad at least the wife, and eventually the husband, will listen and finally "GET IT".

MittenKitten - First off, I am very proud of you for sharing with us the situation regarding your rental. I am sure this is not a decision you made lightly. While many people would say you should never default on financial obligations, I think that is a broad statement that does not always take into account each person's situation and needs.

3cats - I look forward to hearing from you. You do not spend often so I would not feel bad about spending when you do.

I have been thinking of you a lot these last two weeks as I somehow did remember that this was a bad month for you. Hang in there. I can relate to the sleeping a lot issue as I have found myself doing that as well.

dakota - Sorry about mini-D being sick. That is never fun. And thank you for the hugs, I am just not sure which decision you are referring to. I think you may have meant that for MittenKitten.

sapphire - Welcome Back!

Rocky Mtn Saver - Welcome.

Angel - Welcome back. And glad to hear that Big Yellow Dog is on the mend.

AZMom - Good to see you, sorry to hear about your leg.

[moneysquirrel]

Update: 4 NS Days and 2 CS Days
Just stopping by to say hello and to update numbers. Had a nice 12 hour day today so I will be turning in as soon as I log off.

azmom -- make sure that you are healed prior to returning to full force training. You don't want to create more damage to your body by starting back too soon.

Too tired to add anything else that will make sense. Will check in later in the week.

[3catslady]

update; 6 NSD, 0 NEO.

[Honeylioness]

Now that I have responded to some other posts and members I have some personal updates to share.


Job Search - I have not written an update lately but did today. It can be found at:

honeylioness.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=thoughts&thread=240&page=1


Economic News - I watched the President's press conference today and had some thoughts on a few things he said regarding mortgages. Warning, there are my political feelings included in the post, but if anyone wants to read them my thoughts are here:

honeylioness.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=thoughts&thread=252


Finance Challenges/Speed bumps During the Last Month:

* I ocassionally find myself downloading a new e-book from Amazon which I count as part of my budgeted Entertainment Expense.

* Last week I went outside to run and errand and my car would not start. I was able to call AAA (thank goodness I kept that account current!). They came out, ran an electrical system diagnosis and then replaced the battery for $122. While it was tough writing that check, I was glad it was nothing major.

* I had three more Eat Out Days than I had planned. One for a lunch with some ex-coworkers, I bought a meal at a social gathering and one night I just could not deal with the idea of cooking.

* I have not been able to cut back my smoking and so I am spending more each month than I would like on this vice.

* I had thought about using part of my tax refund originally to buy a new box spring and mattress. Mine is older than I want to admit and I am not sleeping well on it anymore. I think it may be part of why my back has been bothering me. But now I am not sure I want to spend any of my savings.

* Along that line, I had also considered spending part of my refund to replace my front door. What I have now is steel with a large glass insert - it is the standard builder's door on all the condo units. However mine has warped and aside from it being hard to latch the deadbolt it is not doing a great job anymore keeping an air seal. Again, I am hesitant to spend any of my cash reserves even though logically I know it is costing me money in heat.


Finance Wins and/or Other Projects the Last Month:

* I received my Income Tax refund of $3200 last week. This brings my cash / savings reserves up to a little over $8,600 as of today. This is what I am pulling approximately $400 a month from to supplement my Unemployment Insurance.

* I have two appointments in place to have informational meetings with different attorneys to check out the process and cost for drafting some necessary legal documents as part of my long-term financial planning.

* I have selected a financial planner and initiated the cash-out/roll over of the funds from two different old 401(k)s and my former employer's offered pension.

* Since I have medical insurance I have started going to the Chiropractor once a week.

* I went through my closet and tried on EVERYTHING. If it no longer fit it went into a stack to be given away to charity. I did wind up holding back four blouses that I really really like to add to the plastic bin I have of clothes I am holding onto for sentimental reasons.

I removed from my closet the following:

* 10 belts
* 3 skirts
* 1 pair jeans
* 1 pair khakis
* 6 pairs of new underwear I never wore - they were the wrong size
* 5 vests
* 15 Women's blouses
* 12 Men's shirts
* 2 pairs of keds that were full of holes - thrown away
* 1 pair old hiking boots with split soles and torn uppers - thrown away