Why Did/Would You Get Married?

[kittensaver]

Lol Dark I wish I could! (but I can't). The most I can tell you is that I FINALLY got it through my head that it was about me, not the guy. The jocks and surfer dudes could just go ahead and be who they are, but they were not "for" me. When I met my DH, the *thunderbolt* message that came to me was: this guy is nothing that you want, but he is everything that you need. I really don't know how you "teach" that "lesson" to someone . . .

[moon/Laura]

You learn it when you get tired of being used and abused (so to speak).. when you get tired of being someone's last priority.

when you decide that what YOU want and need is just as important as what the guy wants and needs, that's when it will change.

[flopsy]

i'd think about it because

i don't believe in having kids out of wedlock and damn it babies are CUTE
i don't want to be someones girlfriend for the rest of my life. this scene is wearing on me
i don't want to cohabitate with anyone and clean up after them unless there is a really good reason
i want nice things and it's easier to afford them with two incomes

[femmefatale]

Dec 31, 2011 12:10:17 GMT -5 moon/Laura said:

You learn it when you get tired of being used and abused (so to speak).. when you get tired of being someone's last priority.

when you decide that what YOU want and need is just as important as what the guy wants and needs, that's when it will change.

[beags]

I got married because my best friend who stuck with me for 5 years asked me to. We have been married now for 21 years, we don't plan on ending that at all.
We have been through 5 deaths of very close relatives during that time, and a couple good friends of ours. We have had financial problems, child rearing problems, you name it, we have come across it. The key is listening and compromise. and of course knowing each other's faults and strengths, MOST IMPORTANTLY Love, respect, and trust . .. . a marriage will not last without those three things.

We have two wonderful talented children and have had many pets along the way.

I hope that answers the thread question.

[Jaguar]

Dec 31, 2011 14:17:12 GMT -5 beags said:

I got married because my best friend who stuck with me for 5 years asked me to. We have been married now for 21 years, we don't plan on ending that at all.
We have been through 5 deaths of very close relatives during that time, and a couple good friends of ours. We have had financial problems, child rearing problems, you name it, we have come across it. The key is listening and compromise. and of course knowing each other's faults and strengths, MOST IMPORTANTLY Love, respect, and trust . .. . a marriage will not last without those three things.

We have two wonderful talented children and have had many pets along the way.

I hope that answers the thread question.

[Tired Tess]

I truly fell in love with the guy. It will be 25 yrs in April. He is the "better half" and the best thing to happen to me. DH is the first person I thank God for. He has made me a better person.

[naggie1972]

21 years in June and because he asked me and my mum was moving and so was he. I would NEVER EVER get married again.

[zibazinski]

I've been single for a long time. I was used, abused, and then hosed by my EX. Swore I'd never get in a position where I could be a sucker again. I purposely dated guys that I knew I would never get serious about. It was a good thing because I needed a long time to heal and cure whatever was wrong with me to put up with the crap I put up with. Had a few false starts with thinking I was serious or ready to be serious but was smart enough to stall and then get out of it. When I least expected it, DF came along but by then I was ready. I second the suggestion that when YOU are ready and YOU think you are worth someone good, it will happen.

[naggie1972]

Right now I just want to be alone.....give me a deserted Island or something and my kindle and I think I will be happy.

[zibazinski]

Nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs time.

[Cookies Galore]

I still kind of think marriage isn't necessary since we don't want kids (even if we did i wouldnt find it necessary), but we figure it would make things easier when we get older if we were married. And i want to legally nag him for life.

[thyme4change]

I married because I didn't really like my maiden name.

[gavinsnana]

Cuz everyone else was doin it! ;D

Nah.. cuz I loved him!

[achelois]

Pure unadulterated stupidity. Irremedial insanity. Uncurbed optimism.

That is why I got married.

Oh, and insatiable lust. ;D


I thought it was love, at the time.

[femmefatale]

Jan 10, 2012 15:43:28 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I married because I didn't really like my maiden name.

[NoNamePerson]

I married cause he needed a date for the wedding No one should marry at 21.

Reasonably good marriage and a much better divorce

[Deleted]

I thought it would be harder for him to get away. It worked!

[zibazinski]

I'm starting to think I like being a fiancée better than being a wife. I think I feel there's always a way out even if I don't want to or feel the need to use it.

[Steady As She Goes]

I was 22 ... she was 18!
That was 32 years ago.
She's still my best friend and we're looking forward to the many more years to come.

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2012 13:11:11 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I've been single for a long time. I was used, abused, and then hosed by my EX. Swore I'd never get in a position where I could be a sucker again. I purposely dated guys that I knew I would never get serious about. It was a good thing because I needed a long time to heal and cure whatever was wrong with me to put up with the crap I put up with. Had a few false starts with thinking I was serious or ready to be serious but was smart enough to stall and then get out of it. When I least expected it, DF came along but by then I was ready. I second the suggestion that when YOU are ready and YOU think you are worth someone good, it will happen.

I never thought i would get married a second time. The first one was a disaster....emotionally, financially, and in every other conceivable way....and i swore off memebers of the opposite sex for a lot of years

My daughter finally convinced me to start going out again when she started dating at 16...saying that all women were not like her mother

Two years later i met my wife....and it is the best thing that ever happened to me.

What is the quote from the movie

"she makes me want to be a better man"

[Deleted]

I met the girl (woman) who is now my wife 40 years ago, she was 14, I was 16. We had many firsts together, good and bad. After co-habitating for many years, marriage was a small afterthought of a long relationship.

[mcmurraychick]

First time........ i was pregnant.

Second time, because he is my best friend. We'd been together 4 years and had a baby when we got married. We've been together 18 years, and I love him more with each day.

Marriage is what you make of it!

[jencin]

I think it's really good to be friends first, then move into the relationship and marry for whatever important reasons you feel strongly about.

I've been there twice and don't expect to again.

First time, we were young, our parents were friends, it just seemed to be the next thing to do and it made the parents very happy. On my wedding morning, going down stairs to breakfast, I thought ... "oh damned, this is going to be a disaster ... ". I was right, except for 2 very fine children.

Left that one willingly.

Second time. Friends first and he helped me pull through a depression and, to some extent, saved my life. We were together 20 years and are now working on being friends again. We have one daughter, still in her teens.

Next time? I doubt it. No reason as we don't plan more children. Doesn't mean being alone. I care for someone deeply, and we're doing fine .. most of the time. I can see a life partnership here, but slowly to make sure the boat doesn't leak. The (hopefully) last time around is important, too.

[NastyWoman]

We were in love and wanted kids. In the 70s kids of unwed parents faced social ostracism and we didn't want that for them. We lasted 31 years but should have pulled the plug a few years earlier. Still. even though I won't do it again, for many years it was very good. So no regrets.

[Peace Of Mind]

Why did we get married? Real estate. DH and I lived together (our 25 year anniversary of living together is the 15th!) for 5 years and I wanted to buy more real estate. He'd been proposing to me but I just didn't see the point until we found property we wanted to buy together. I already owned the condo we were living in but wanted more property. We are still buying real estate together.

[Deleted]

Message deleted by funsnowbird.

[Deleted]

I am sorry for the loss of your 2nd husband, funsnowbird.

But I am happy to hear you found love again with someone who sounds like a really wonderful man.

[Deleted]

Message deleted by funsnowbird.

[Reckless Roselia]

Message deleted by Reckless Rendezvous Roselia.