Suicide

[Cass]

Oct 22, 2011 10:47:01 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Oct 21, 2011 23:08:30 GMT -5 Cass said:

Good on your family steff for being so open and accepting. If only everyone felt that way.
I was raised with religion but rejected it as soon as I was able. It just seemed so contradictory to be 'loving and accepting' while rejecting certain segments deemed undesirable.

Sincerely not trying to proselytize and I agree that there is a lot of hypocritical dogma and many hypocritical people of faith out there, but maybe you just need to find a faith that is genuinely inclusive and values all people. Buddhism? B'ahai?

I'm a born and raised Catholic. Intellectually, I disagree with many tenets of my faith. After a long period of exploration, I've been able to resolve those disagreements by seeking out a Jesuit parish. The Jesuits are the most liberal of all Catholic orders. Their major message is that we should treat each other as we would want to be treated (hence my screenname). They also actively and purposefully engage in social justice and service to others less fortunate: 2 causes very close to my heart.

Even with my own faith, I am enlightened enough to believe that most religions try to guide people to the same goal: being a good person and loving others. Some people, like yourself, can do that without a formal, organized, religious base. Kudos -- it's striving for the goal that matters to me, not the name of the faith or the lack thereof.

To the OP: sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread. Just felt a need to speak up.

I was also raised Catholic. Glad you found something that fits for you. I won't be seeking out faith, I've had my fill. But kudos for those who find it works for them.

[Cookies Galore]

bean, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I think it will always sadden me to hear about suicide, even if I don't know the person.

I had three friends commit suicide. One happened when we were sophomores in high school, she was only 15. She found out she was pregnant and I guess she panicked and didn't know what her parents would do, so she hung herself. Her little sister found her. Another friend also hung himself.

The worst for me was a childhood friend. He was HIV positive and when his health started declining he decided to end things on his terms. I understand why he did that, but it still hurts and I miss him terribly.

[bring in the new year]

Rachets,

I think the gay is good responses are there because gay teens are more likelier than any other group of teens to kill themselves.

Not knowing anything else, it's where my mind goes too.

[steff]

I was going to let this pass without commenting, but didn't feel that was right. For those of you turning this into your own little "religion is bad, gay people are great" crusade - grow up. This isn't the right thread for it. Have a little respect and post your message or feelings on another thread, or start one of your own

Since it's bean's thread and she & I both posted last night in regards to gays, I'll wait until she or a mod says STFU to do so..... and sharing our experiences are not a "crusade"....religion makes some very happy and others want nothing to do with it....gays are here to stay and are a part of many families & society....

[Cass]

I've had two friends take their own lives because they were gay. I think it's relevant.

[steff]

Oct 22, 2011 13:18:16 GMT -5 @toughtimes said:

Actually, what my mind went to was not gay, but possible mental illness from steroid misuse. Steroids can cause serious psychosis and can trigger bipolar illnesses. This is a constant worry for anyone who has to take steroids for respiratory diseases like asthma.

I barely escaped having to take prednisone myself for an eye ailment, and I am thankful that I did not have to take it. My pop did have to take this for a muscle wasting illness and the drug, while a miracle for so many, has a very ugly side too. I hope that the other weightlifters are quietly pouring things down the toilet. There is no reason to destroy health in pursuit of an illusion of physical perfection.

My son did steriod treatments for 4 years....they wreck havoc on the body and we definately watched for signs of depression while he was on them....

[steff]

My son was taking steriod shots & creams due to a medical condition.... from age 8-12....part of the decision to end them was because of puberty starting and worrying about long term effects...

[steff]

Oct 22, 2011 14:16:20 GMT -5 @toughtimes said:

I hate that damn autocensor. Your adolescent child is now an official Republican. Nonetheless, I know exactly what you mean. Some drugs are not worth it when young children are involved. They can cause mental illness, blow the kids up like balloons, you name it.

The last year, he started blowing up like a balloon. Plus after each treatment, he couldn't be exposed to sunlight for 24 hours. We actually let him make the final call on stopping the treatments. The last one, I stopped counting at 70 shots and it went on for another hour. It was just too hard on his little body & I still wonder about long term effects. Who knows, we may have killed his chance to have kids while he was just a kid.

[bring in the new year]

Oct 22, 2011 14:08:26 GMT -5 steff said:

My son was taking steriod shots & creams due to a medical condition.... from age 8-12....part of the decision to end them was because of Republicanrty starting and worrying about long term effects...

Ah autocensor!

I didn't want to say anything but it did seem a little harsh to take him off the steroids just because he was listening to Rush.

[toomuchreality]

I've known quite a few people that have committed suicide. Both friends and family. I have also attempted myself, more than once. I was on the phone with my boyfriend of 14½ yrs when he took his life. There is always a reason. It's sad to think that ending one's life is the best/easiest way to stop the pain.

I'm sorry for your loss, and wish you all the best.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 22, 2011 16:26:41 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

I've known quite a few people that have committed suicide. Both friends and family. I have also attempted myself, more than once. I was on the phone with my boyfriend of 14½ yrs when he took his life. There is always a reason. It's sad to think that ending one's life is the best/easiest way to stop the pain.

I'm sorry for your loss, and wish you all the best.

Hang in there toomuchreality. The world is rooting for you.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

your avatar makes me smile every time I see it, toomuch - and I need help smiling - so thanks and hang in there.

[weltschmerz]

part of the decision to end them was because of Republicanrty starting
----------------------Testing.

Republicanrty

LOl! OK! How about prepubescent?

[TheOtherMe]

I am so sorry for this young man and for your children, bean.

As another person who has been on the brink of suicide more than once and is only here due to the wisdom of a wonderful doctor, nobody but the person can understand the reasoning. I look back now and can see how strange my reasoning sounded to others, but it made perfect sense to me. It would get me out of the pain I was then suffering.

If the high school kids are blaming the ex-GF, please try to get her some help or get her parents to help her. It is not her fault.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Everybody has a finite capacity for pain.

[mizbear]

bean- I'm sorry for your loss. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded at 15. I implore you to stay involved. They may never find out why this young man decided to take his life- no one asked me until I was well into adulthood why I tried to take my life at 15- and it wasn't the reason given on the hospital reports in 1992- but you may be able to prevent another youngster from taking their life.

[zibazinski]

[zibazinski]

People just aren't thinking clearly when they do it. I am sure DS's Grandmother, for WHATEVER reason she did it, had no idea of the pain and loss she would leave behind, and even if she did, would she have believed it?

[TheOtherMe]

One of the things that would stop me from suicide during the years I so desperately wanted out of my life was that the only way I knew I could succeed was to lock myself in the garage with the car running. I also knew it would probably kill my cats as it was an attached garage. My distorted mind would not let me kill my cats, so they saved me.

My next door neighbor did use that method to kill himself. He let the cat outdoors and it was an inside cat. His wife arrived home and found him. Never saw her again. The house was put up for sale shortly after. I still remember her standing outside crying with the police and ambulance there.

[bring in the new year]

Although I would like to agree it's a selfish act because of the pain it causes others, I can't believe that most people who are close to commiting suicide are able to understand that.

I think blaming them or trying to convince people it's selfish, isn't going to help them. Yes, I've heard stories like TT's as well, but most of them were by people who were threatening to commit suicide not by people who actually did it.

I really feel the only thing we can teach kids is that nothing is the end of the world and there's nothing they can do that would make us happy to see them gone.

With older people, I'm torn. I was raised to see it as a sin and I'm still unwilling to let people go when medicine is able to do so much both for physical & psychological issues. But I think after a certain age, we've got to let adults do what they're going to do. If they have a terrible illness or they're not willing to get treated for their depression, how long do you make them suffer?

[mizbear]

Again- for those who think suicide is a selfish act-

you need to be in the head of the person who is about to take their own life:

A child who is tormented at school or home, who has been told they are better off dead; that they should have never been born
An abused child who has been told their attacker is being released; who has been told their friends and family will be killed because they told; who has been cut off from friends by the abuser and then by a supposedly well-meaning therapist
Someone with a mental illness whose medication is not working who is overwhelmed by their thoughts, feelings, any stimuli in their environment- and the doctors don' listen when they tell them that something is wrong

Selfish is the person who torments another
Selfish is the person who ignores the problem
Selfish is the person who places blame
Selfish is the person who wants the easy answer to something there is no easy answer for

[moon/Laura]

moving to Mental and Spiritual Health - seems to fit better there.

~moon

[femmefatale]

I'm sorry. I have been SEVERELY depressed in My life, thousands of times. Sometimes feeling like there was just no answer. But I just can't grasp the fact of Someone doing this. I mean, I just don't know. How sad.

[gavinsnana]

This is a toughie. I guess unless you have been thru this first hand, then you don't really know how it really effects you and your family. For someone who has.. its devistating, it destroys you, and your family... it takes time to find a life again.. but you do... its not easy.. but you can go on... its been 5 years...and I let go of the anger a long time ago.. but now when the wonderful things that happen, such as my grandbaby and as happy as I am and blessed, I am also sadden.. because he is missing out on the best part of life...

[femmefatale]

Awww Nanna... Love You.

[gavinsnana]

LOVE YA TOO!

I didn't read back on here yet, but for all those who have been thru it, my heart is with you all... Be blessed

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 23, 2011 13:42:27 GMT -5 mizbear said:

Again- for those who think suicide is a selfish act-

you need to be in the head of the person who is about to take their own life:

A child who is tormented at school or home, who has been told they are better off dead; that they should have never been born
An abused child who has been told their attacker is being released; who has been told their friends and family will be killed because they told; who has been cut off from friends by the abuser and then by a supposedly well-meaning therapist
Someone with a mental illness whose medication is not working who is overwhelmed by their thoughts, feelings, any stimuli in their environment- and the doctors don' listen when they tell them that something is wrong

Selfish is the person who torments another
Selfish is the person who ignores the problem
Selfish is the person who places blame
Selfish is the person who wants the easy answer to something there is no easy answer for

This is all so true. Too many people don't understand bullying and the effect it has on other people.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 23, 2011 19:11:29 GMT -5 gavinsnana said:

This is a toughie. I guess unless you have been thru this first hand, then you don't really know how it really effects you and your family. For someone who has.. its devistating, it destroys you, and your family... it takes time to find a life again.. but you do... its not easy.. but you can go on... its been 5 years...and I let go of the anger a long time ago.. but now when the wonderful things that happen, such as my grandbaby and as happy as I am and blessed, I am also sadden.. because he is missing out on the best part of life...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Words cannot convey.

[gavinsnana]

Oct 23, 2011 19:44:10 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Oct 23, 2011 19:11:29 GMT -5 gavinsnana said:

This is a toughie. I guess unless you have been thru this first hand, then you don't really know how it really effects you and your family. For someone who has.. its devistating, it destroys you, and your family... it takes time to find a life again.. but you do... its not easy.. but you can go on... its been 5 years...and I let go of the anger a long time ago.. but now when the wonderful things that happen, such as my grandbaby and as happy as I am and blessed, I am also sadden.. because he is missing out on the best part of life...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Words cannot convey.

Thankyou.. I appreciate that.

I think the one's that get me the most and it seems to be in the news alot lately is the children, who are bullied and feel there is no other way out than suicide. My God, what has the world come to, to allow this to continue. A child just cannot see past this, and to consumes them to the point that they make this decision. I wish I could save them..

We need to continue to educate them. When a child is bullied, they think that there is something wrong with them and that is just not the case. Shame on those who bully.

Suicide is a permanant solution to a very temporary problem.

In my case, they thought that all the troubles would end.. well it did for them, but not for me, my kids, his family.. it destroyed us all.. it takes a lot of work to get back to a "normal" life. and its not ever really normal.
But, you have to go on.. and do the best you can.

[kimber45]

I have no words other than I am so sorry you and others have to go through this