Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 21:10:05 GMT -5
Police and ambulance responded to the 911 call placed from a McDonald's payphone early this morning.
The elderly victim was pronounced dead—and tasty—at the scene of the crime.
James Ginn, the first responding EMT, told reporters, "We handled a cupcake war a few days ago. A frozen armadillo yesterday. We were pretty much expecting this."
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Oct 20, 2011 21:21:50 GMT -5
It couldn't have happened in Quebec. We consider ketchup to be an abomination.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Oct 20, 2011 21:23:26 GMT -5
We're more likely to pelt someone to death with Grey Poupon or Aioli sauce. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 21:26:32 GMT -5
The next headline will probably be "Count Chocula - The Cereal Killer?" ![](http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll224/SmokeJumperFirearms/SMILEYS/ROFLSMALL.gif)
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 20, 2011 21:30:34 GMT -5
It couldn't have happened in Quebec. We consider ketchup to be an abomination. I knew y'all weren't really Canadian! ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 21:37:27 GMT -5
Quebec is a country locked within a country (at least to the Quebecois). ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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jan
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Post by jan on Oct 20, 2011 21:41:12 GMT -5
WTH were they thinking?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 20, 2011 21:41:43 GMT -5
Good grief! Lock up your Fruit Loops! This may go viral! ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png)
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Oct 20, 2011 21:52:51 GMT -5
Personally, I don't care for ketchup. It ruins perfectly good food. Sometimes I buy a bottle to use as base for home made BBQ sauce, but then it sits there for a couple of years, until the bottle swells up.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 22:00:01 GMT -5
Weltz: You do realize Virgil's post was strictly satirical don't you? It's playing on the titles of previous threads.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 22:19:54 GMT -5
"Along with the condiments, officers also found traces of cupcake crumbs and a half eaten armadillo leg".
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 23:08:24 GMT -5
They have links to other articles at the bottom.
"Crisis Averted in Virginia? (Richmond, VA) As Americans arm themselves with increasingly benign objects to bludgeon their loved ones, Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell has tabled legislation to outlaw the sale of wiffle balls in his state. Experts proposed the ban in a letter sent to McDonnell earlier this week, stating that the use of wiffle balls in the next wave of violent attacks is "extremely likely". Also included in the legislation is a proposal to study the threat of bodily harm posed by empty orange juice cartons, Milk Bones, and headphones with cords longer than three feet.
..."
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 23:18:02 GMT -5
"Undercover officers also made a major bust at a Seniors Home in Sarasota, Florida which had been under months of surveillance. A large cache of Crackberries was discovered after a thorough search of the premises."
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 23:21:47 GMT -5
Silly rabbit. You can't bludgeon people to death with crackberries. The physics are all wrong. ![::)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/eyesroll.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 23:25:20 GMT -5
It was a bust, silly - not a murder - those Crackberries are a highly addictive substance - and who knows what kind of kinky things those seniors would be doing when on a sugar high. ;D
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Oct 20, 2011 23:25:25 GMT -5
"Undercover officers also made a major bust at a Seniors Home in Sarasota, Florida which had been under months of surveillance. A large cache of Crackberries was discovered after a thorough search of the premises." Did they find any hookers? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Oct 20, 2011 23:28:14 GMT -5
Silly rabbit. You can't bludgeon people to death with crackberries. The physics are all wrong.
No, no, no, no, you shove them up their noses and suffocate them.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 23:36:51 GMT -5
Iggy finds us funny, at least. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 20, 2011 23:42:33 GMT -5
No, but one of the residents being questioned was laptopless. ;D
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rovo
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Post by rovo on Oct 20, 2011 23:44:29 GMT -5
Iggy finds us funny, at least. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) Maybe so, but others find you disturbed. ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png) ;D
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 23:48:58 GMT -5
...says the guy wearing a bright purple cloak. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/raspberries.png)
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rovo
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Post by rovo on Oct 20, 2011 23:50:34 GMT -5
Do you really want to move on to avatars? ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png) ;D
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 20, 2011 23:55:10 GMT -5
...no. I... I'll be quiet. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/melancholy.png)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 21, 2011 0:01:12 GMT -5
Mod Fight !! Does this mean I'm the designated referee? ;D ![](http://l.thumbs.canstockphoto.com/canstock5157121.jpg)
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy on Oct 21, 2011 0:36:03 GMT -5
If its a mod fight only mods can participate. I paid good money for these ring side seats so everyone sit down! ![](http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff155/JiminiChristmas/smileys/16.gif)
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Oct 21, 2011 1:36:07 GMT -5
<picks up the mic>
How are y'all doing ladies and gentlemen? Having a good night? <cheers, applause> Awright, that's the spirit. We're all having a good night. And you know why? Because life is funny. It's funny sometimes, folks, lemme tell you.
The other day I'm hangin' out with my friend rovo down on 8th. The guy's got a Toucan Sam fashion thing going but... <laughter> ...yeah... yeah, really he does. And I see this drop dead gorgeous chick that... you know, rovo's over reading the nutrition guide on some chilly dog stand somewhere but he'd wanna know. <laughter> He'd wanna know, right?
So I call out, "Rovo, come here." I'm thinkin' of this chick, right. Not thinkin' too much about what I'm sayin'.
Well I swear, in the next twenty seconds I got a poodle, a... golden retriever <laughter>, a couple of those ugly little rat dogs... <roaring laughter>
Lemme tell ya, folks, don't do that in public. Don't call my man rovo in public. 'Cause life is funny, a'ight?
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rovo
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Post by rovo on Oct 21, 2011 8:47:54 GMT -5
Don't you people ever sleep? ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 21, 2011 9:10:25 GMT -5
<picks up the mic> How are y'all doing ladies and gentlemen? Having a good night? <cheers, applause> Awright, that's the spirit. We're all having a good night. And you know why? Because life is funny. It's funny sometimes, folks, lemme tell you. The other day I'm hangin' out with my friend rovo down on 8th. The guy's got a Toucan Sam fashion thing going but... <laughter> ...yeah... yeah, really he does. And I see this drop dead gorgeous chick that... you know, rovo's over reading the nutrition guide on some chilly dog stand somewhere but he'd wanna know. <laughter> He'd wanna know, right? So I call out, "Rovo, come here." I'm thinkin' of this chick, right. Not thinkin' too much about what I'm sayin'. Well I swear, in the next twenty seconds I got a poodle, a... golden retriever <laughter>, a couple of those ugly little rat dogs... <roaring laughter>Lemme tell ya, folks, don't do that in public. Don't call my man rovo in public. 'Cause life is funny, a'ight? Was enjoying your post until you called out those ugly little rat dogs. I have one and his name is Chupacabra. Mean little devil ![](http://messenger.msn.com/MMM2006-04-19_17.00/Resource/emoticons/bat.gif) Oh back to OP. If this senior was pelted by Ketchup at McD's - wait I don't do McD's. Pelted with cupcakes - I would just grab a few and be on my way. Hit me with a frozen Armadillo and I might hit back with a Glock ![](http://us.social.s-msn.com/s/images/emoticons/wink_smile.gif)
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whiskmav
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Post by whiskmav on Oct 21, 2011 9:56:15 GMT -5
Hookers? Did someone say, "Hookers"?
Whiskmav ~Anticipating
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 21, 2011 10:15:08 GMT -5
Hookers? Did someone say, "Hookers"? Whiskmav ~Anticipating Hookers with chains: ;D ![](http://www.fitness-equipment.com/acatalog/Chain_swifel_Ext_hook.jpg)
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