Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

Wisdom of the Rooms ~ Quote of the Week

"Honesty got me sober; tolerance keeps me sober."

I didn't realize how dishonest I was before I entered recovery. I had half truths and misleading by omission down to a fine art, and by the end of my drinking and using I was even good at deceiving myself. I didn't know it then, but the practice of being rigorously honest was the cornerstone of my recovery, and without it I never would have gotten sober.

Another thing I didn't realize before recovery was how intolerant I was of other people, places and things. Once I began looking at myself, I found that my first reactions were to judge, reject and condemn others. What I discovered was that my intolerance was a defense mechanism covering my deep feelings of inferiority and shame, and it wasn't until I discarded these that I began to live comfortably in my own skin.

What I've learned over the years is that if I want to remain comfortable and sober, I've got to continue to practice tolerance. Now when I feel like judging or condemning others, I quickly look within and ask if I'm scared or if I'm feeling less than. Once I'm honest with myself, I'm able to deal with these feelings, and this always restores me to tolerance of myself and others.

Today I realize that honesty got me sober, but that tolerance keeps me that way.

[roygrip]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Living or Waiting?

What is the real secret of living 24 hours at a time? Isn't it really a matter of feeling completely comfortable in the present rather than believing that happiness depends on something in the future?

Whatever our situation today, it's something we must live through and deal with effectively. We may be overlooking many wonderful things in our present life simply because we believe we need some exciting experience that can only come later on.

We also might be overlooking present opportunities because we're spending too much time in the past. The past, whether it was good or bad, is beyond our control.

Our mission is to live effectively and happily today. We can do this best when we realize that yesterday and tomorrow don't really exist - today is all we can be sure of.

I'll live today in the present, handling every problem as well as I can and enjoying every experience that comes to me.

[roygrip]

All of these are tips by people who walked the path of sobriety BEFORE us. They are tips on how to stay sober. Again use what you can, discard the rest. It took me along time to realize that alcohol (my drinking/using) was but the symptom of the problem. The problem was me! My thinking, my reactions to the world were flawed. No I don't need a drink to relax! When I'm happy, angry, sad, mad, glad, or just because. When I do drink, I don't react like normal people and have "just one". Instead the lampshade goes on and I'm on top of the table! That's me NOT THE ALCOHOL. I can't drink like normal peeps

Ok off to the studio to make people pretty for TV.

[chiver78]

thanks for continuing to post these words of wisdom, roy.

so, last night, I made a big pot of some very yummy marinara sauce ("recipe" posted in the pasta section) and had maybe 3 oz of red wine left in the bottle. I tried something out - hear me out, please. T/W/Th this week, I have felt like I got hit by a train when my alarm went off in the morning. once I was up and moving around, I was totally okay. I wasn't sure if it was just cruise haze, or if it was because I wasn't continuing my habit of a nightly glass or two of wine. so, I drank the half-glass of nero with dinner once the sauce was done. I wanted to see if I'd still feel like I got hit by a train again this morning - and I did. that's good, actually. hopefully with this long weekend upon us, I'll be able to fully reset my sleep schedule to that of a responsible adult. I won't feel like I got hit by a train in the morning, and maybe I'll actually get up for a run in the brisk fall weather before it gets too cold to do so.

congrats on the 96 hours, hamster!

[kimber45]

DH is going on Day 5. He did mention last night that a drink would taste good, but he resisted.

[hamsterwheel]

Oct 7, 2011 6:55:56 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Welcome Hamster! Quitting any addiction isn't easy. Alcohiol and drugs (me) was/is not easy. I needed a support system, I had tried litterally hundreds of times over a twenty yr period to stop. Sometimes for as long as 6 months on my own, only to fall back. We don't get better after a six month abstinence by the way, we go right back to the level we quit at.

Give yourself the chance, the benefits are great. But if you slip, remember there is support out there, here and other places. All the suggestions are good.

Just remember I'm the big Alcoholics Anonymous promoter here. For ME, I needed the support of both a program of recovery and the fellowship of the group, to stop. For me nothing else worked.

I just needed to add my two cents to the bucket.

I needed to ber taught a new way to live, I couldn't do it on my own.

Congratulations on the 96 hrs, it gets better

Roy, I appreciate the welcome! It's getting easier, but it's probably going to be a challenging weekend. I think getting through the 48-72 hours was the toughest so far as I've tried to quit in the past. Between the psychological craving for it, I've noticed I'd give myself some kind of out, as in "I'll just have one", "I can quit later", but it never worked out how I intended. Once off the wagon, it was easy just to go back to drinking at night since I didn't have a streak and was disappointed in myself. I figured if I came onto this board and finally admitted to what I was doing, I was at least accountable to a great group of people. The risk is I'll fail, but I hope that having the support even if I do fail will get me right back to being sober.
I appreciate all your support and the quotes this morning, Roy.
Is there an easy way of finding AA meetings? I had looked at going to one a couple times, but it took forever to find them on the site and I only found it once. I think it's great you're getting a CADDAC license. Your sobriety is inspiring many of us. Sending karma your way!

[hamsterwheel]

Oct 7, 2011 9:31:09 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

DH is going on Day 5. He did mention last night that a drink would taste good, but he resisted.

That's great news Kimber45!!

[hamsterwheel]

Oct 7, 2011 9:14:59 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

thanks for continuing to post these words of wisdom, roy.

so, last night, I made a big pot of some very yummy marinara sauce ("recipe" posted in the pasta section) and had maybe 3 oz of red wine left in the bottle. I tried something out - hear me out, please. T/W/Th this week, I have felt like I got hit by a train when my alarm went off in the morning. once I was up and moving around, I was totally okay. I wasn't sure if it was just cruise haze, or if it was because I wasn't continuing my habit of a nightly glass or two of wine. so, I drank the half-glass of nero with dinner once the sauce was done. I wanted to see if I'd still feel like I got hit by a train again this morning - and I did. that's good, actually. hopefully with this long weekend upon us, I'll be able to fully reset my sleep schedule to that of a responsible adult. I won't feel like I got hit by a train in the morning, and maybe I'll actually get up for a run in the brisk fall weather before it gets too cold to do so.

congrats on the 96 hours, hamster!

Thanks! If it makes you feel better, I have a massive headache this morning too (although I know it's a common minor w/d symptom). Running in this weather is pretty great this time of year. I've done the same thing that you did in terms of testing out w/d symptoms in the past. However, I got the opposite result. I was feeling like I had a virus and was curious if it was w/d symptoms or a virus. The virus seemed to go away once I had a couple of drinks to where I was a bit depressed thinking maybe I was that physically dependent. This time around, I just know not to do that since it completely derailed me last time. Could have been co-incidental, but I'll never know. I'm glad it's motivating you to not drink.

[kimber45]

yay, Iggy

Friday nights (or any night he doesn't have to work the next day) have always been the worst for him cuz he knows he doesn't have to work in the morning.

[kimber45]

Maybe you folks could go shooting or 4wheeling or something?

He's got a couple guns on the bench that need cleaning, a couple scopes to mount and I have a bunch of paperwork to catch up on in the shop. I think that will keep us busy

I'm hoping he will realize how much time he wasted "sleeping in" because of the night before and maybe we will be able to get some projects done around the house before the "white stuff" comes.

[kimber45]

Hamster: hace you checked with your local hospital, clinic or mental health provider (for AA meetings)?

[kent]

Oct 7, 2011 11:13:20 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Hamster: re finding AA meetings: They apparently aren't supposed to advertise (they do in our newspaper and online here) but have you checked your phone book? There may be an 800# that can direct you to meeting options. Luck to you.

Here's a link to AA.....

www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=29

[kent]

Oct 6, 2011 23:13:10 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Oct 6, 2011 18:01:14 GMT -5 kent said:

When you get there just ask for Kent. It took Iggy awhile to get comfortable with doing that. She was afraid people at "the home" were talking behind her back. You know, "What is that hot looking woman doing visiting that old man."

You old dog, you....

Woof! ;D

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 9:31:11 GMT -5 hamsterwheel said:

Oct 7, 2011 6:55:56 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Welcome Hamster! Quitting any addiction isn't easy. Alcohiol and drugs (me) was/is not easy. I needed a support system, I had tried litterally hundreds of times over a twenty yr period to stop. Sometimes for as long as 6 months on my own, only to fall back. We don't get better after a six month abstinence by the way, we go right back to the level we quit at.

Give yourself the chance, the benefits are great. But if you slip, remember there is support out there, here and other places. All the suggestions are good.

Just remember I'm the big Alcoholics Anonymous promoter here. For ME, I needed the support of both a program of recovery and the fellowship of the group, to stop. For me nothing else worked.

I just needed to add my two cents to the bucket.

I needed to ber taught a new way to live, I couldn't do it on my own.

Congratulations on the 96 hrs, it gets better

Roy, I appreciate the welcome! It's getting easier, but it's probably going to be a challenging weekend. I think getting through the 48-72 hours was the toughest so far as I've tried to quit in the past. Between the psychological craving for it, I've noticed I'd give myself some kind of out, as in "I'll just have one", "I can quit later", but it never worked out how I intended. Once off the wagon, it was easy just to go back to drinking at night since I didn't have a streak and was disappointed in myself. I figured if I came onto this board and finally admitted to what I was doing, I was at least accountable to a great group of people. The risk is I'll fail, but I hope that having the support even if I do fail will get me right back to being sober.
I appreciate all your support and the quotes this morning, Roy.
Is there an easy way of finding AA meetings? I had looked at going to one a couple times, but it took forever to find them on the site and I only found it once. I think it's great you're getting a CADDAC license. Your sobriety is inspiring many of us. Sending karma your way!

Hamster! Awesome, sounds like you understand the drill. I was like you, good for a few days, then a slip, and right back at it, with the added deppression of the failure. It became a cycle. As an alcoholic, I could not do it on my own. Wise choice, I think the choice to attend a meeting is a good one, in my humble opinion.
Since I don't know where you are (you can PM me, give me a state, I can narrow it down), but here is the world services no. (AA World Services Offices in NYC 212-870-3400) They can give you no's for meetings anywhere in the world. Let me know. Good luck!

PS, Kent's link to AA is a good one.

Also I suggest to anyone, "InTheRooms.com" Its a website that has online disscussions, meetings, and people just like us, you can register and participate in disscussions, I'm on the NA side under (ROYGRIP) friend me and I can (as others will be) more graphic and more detailed The site is awesome! Not AA/NA but lots of recovery.

Go to your local 411 directory and ask for the loca AA office, or look up youir local rehabs, they have open AA or NA meetings, hospitals, churches.
Or PM me Somertimes traveling the website (AA) is confusing, I prefer talking to a human to find a meeting.

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 9:14:59 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

thanks for continuing to post these words of wisdom, roy.

so, last night, I made a big pot of some very yummy marinara sauce ("recipe" posted in the pasta section) and had maybe 3 oz of red wine left in the bottle. I tried something out - hear me out, please. T/W/Th this week, I have felt like I got hit by a train when my alarm went off in the morning. once I was up and moving around, I was totally okay. I wasn't sure if it was just cruise haze, or if it was because I wasn't continuing my habit of a nightly glass or two of wine. so, I drank the half-glass of nero with dinner once the sauce was done. I wanted to see if I'd still feel like I got hit by a train again this morning - and I did. that's good, actually. hopefully with this long weekend upon us, I'll be able to fully reset my sleep schedule to that of a responsible adult. I won't feel like I got hit by a train in the morning, and maybe I'll actually get up for a run in the brisk fall weather before it gets too cold to do so.

congrats on the 96 hours, hamster!

Good for you Chiver. You know what you need to do, see how it goes. Again, me once I had ANYTHING to drink, maybe not that exact nite, but I guarantee, I'd be back at it in no time. One step, one day at a time

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 11:24:24 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Kimber, excellent idea!

Kimber! Awesome suggestions! Thank you! ;D

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 12:12:54 GMT -5 kent said:

Oct 7, 2011 11:13:20 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Hamster: re finding AA meetings: They apparently aren't supposed to advertise (they do in our newspaper and online here) but have you checked your phone book? There may be an 800# that can direct you to meeting options. Luck to you.

Here's a link to AA.....

www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=29

Thanks Kent, a great site, and a wealth of good info.

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 10:33:11 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Oct 7, 2011 9:31:09 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

DH is going on Day 5. He did mention last night that a drink would taste good, but he resisted.

Conversation last night in the truck w/ DH:

Iggy: Sooooo, almost 2 weeks without drinking.

DH: And, what do you think?

Iggy: Welp, no one died, I didn't kill anybody. I don't feel like the old fuddy-duddy I thought I would if I stopped drinking.

;D

IGGY!!!!!! YOU GO!!!!! ;D

[Genuine GA Peach]

I do sincerely hope that XH gets straightened out, but I don't want an apology (or anything else) from him. I never want to see him again. That's the upside of a divorce with no kids...there's no reason we ever have to interact. I do miss my former in-laws, but not enough to put myself thru dealing with XH. The world is a big place. I'm sure we can happily avoid each other for the rest of our days.

[chiver78]

Oct 7, 2011 19:48:47 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Oct 7, 2011 9:14:59 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

thanks for continuing to post these words of wisdom, roy.

so, last night, I made a big pot of some very yummy marinara sauce ("recipe" posted in the pasta section) and had maybe 3 oz of red wine left in the bottle. I tried something out - hear me out, please. T/W/Th this week, I have felt like I got hit by a train when my alarm went off in the morning. once I was up and moving around, I was totally okay. I wasn't sure if it was just cruise haze, or if it was because I wasn't continuing my habit of a nightly glass or two of wine. so, I drank the half-glass of nero with dinner once the sauce was done. I wanted to see if I'd still feel like I got hit by a train again this morning - and I did. that's good, actually. hopefully with this long weekend upon us, I'll be able to fully reset my sleep schedule to that of a responsible adult. I won't feel like I got hit by a train in the morning, and maybe I'll actually get up for a run in the brisk fall weather before it gets too cold to do so.

congrats on the 96 hours, hamster!

Good for you Chiver. You know what you need to do, see how it goes. Again, me once I had ANYTHING to drink, maybe not that exact nite, but I guarantee, I'd be back at it in no time. One step, one day at a time

yup. I've got a full wine rack, and some other stuff in the fridge that people have left here, and absolutely none of it is calling me. even the last of the wine last night wasn't anything I really wanted - but I absolutely wanted to know if the lack of alcohol was the source of the morning blahs. good to know that it wasn't! one day at a time

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 20:02:13 GMT -5 Genuine GA Peach said:

I do sincerely hope that XH gets straightened out, but I don't want an apology (or anything else) from him. I never want to see him again. That's the upside of a divorce with no kids...there's no reason we ever have to interact. I do miss my former in-laws, but not enough to put myself thru dealing with XH. The world is a big place. I'm sure we can happily avoid each other for the rest of our days.

Georgia, I understand that, and respect that. We the alcoholic in recovery, by the 12 step process are required as part iof the program to "make amends whenever possible, so as to cause no harm" Your case would be one where no amends would be possible, still it's part of our process to try.

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 20:21:51 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Oct 7, 2011 19:48:47 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Good for you Chiver. You know what you need to do, see how it goes. Again, me once I had ANYTHING to drink, maybe not that exact nite, but I guarantee, I'd be back at it in no time. One step, one day at a time

yup. I've got a full wine rack, and some other stuff in the fridge that people have left here, and absolutely none of it is calling me. even the last of the wine last night wasn't anything I really wanted - but I absolutely wanted to know if the lack of alcohol was the source of the morning blahs. good to know that it wasn't! one day at a time

Good for you! keep working it out, and processing it. You know what works for you Good job!

[chiver78]

Oct 7, 2011 21:00:47 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Chive, excellent!!! DH has some beer in the garage fridge, where the computer is. Doesn't call my name. However, if there was any hard stuff laying around....

oh, I've got that too - I host martini parties every once in a while, there's a bunch of crap out in the garage. I really think my body had enough last weekend that it's all absolutely turning my stomach right now. great job for you, too!

now wait a sec, your 'puter is in the garage? don't it get cold out there in the winter??

[roygrip]

Oct 7, 2011 21:24:52 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Lol! Insulation, baby;).

Tonight was my sister's BD supper out. All adults were drinking except for DH and me. In lieu of sparking water they had club soda. I had my own carafe with lime. Fancy. ;D

Love my sparkling water with lime It's automatic now for most of my friends when we go to their house, they may have a glass of wine with dinner, but my wife and I are always served sparkling water, we've trained them well
If I'm going to a party at work, say a Christmas party, retirement, etc, we arrive early, and leave early. Funny in sobriety, I get no enjoyment from people with a couple of stiff ones in them. Before I thought they were the grandest people in the world! LOL

[roygrip]

Well how'd we all do last nite?

I really suggest you all check out "InTheRooms.com: again I'm on the NA side under ROYGRIP

[roygrip]

AA Thought for the Day

Choice
When I am willing to do the right thing,
I am rewarded with an inner peace no amount of liquor could ever provide.
When I am unwilling to do the right thing,
I become restless, irritable, and discontent. Through the Twelve Steps,
I have been given the gift of choice. I am no longer at the mercy
of a disease that tells me the only answer is to drink.

Thought to Ponder . . .
Just for today, I choose not to drink.

[roygrip]

PLEASE REMEMBER SOMETHING HERE...... Yes I'm a believer, yes, the word "God" is used in AA material. It represents a "God of YOUR understanding". If you are a non-believer, or a complete atheist, please replace the word that makes sense to you, the friends you have met,a coke bottle, just something bigger than you.. The point is to believe in the process. ,


A.A. Thoughts For The Day
Gratitude
"Another exercise that I practice is to try for a
full inventory of my blessings and then
for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine --
both temporal and spiritual. . .
I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart
cannot entertain great conceits.
When brimming with gratitude,
one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love,
the finest emotion that we can ever know.
Bill. W., March 1962

Thought to Consider . . .
I have learned what a heart full of gratitude feels like.

Just For Today!
Best of Intentions
Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Of course, it is reasonable and understandable that the question is often asked: "Why can't we take a specific and troubling dilemma straight to God, and in prayer secure from Him sure and definite answers to our requests?"

This can be done, but it has hazards. We have seen AAs ask with much earnestness and faith for God's explicit guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to correcting a minor personal fault, like tardiness. Quite often, however, the thoughts that seem to come from God are not answers at all. They prove to be well-intentioned unconscious rationalizations. The AA, or indeed any man, who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual. To any questioning or criticism of his actions he instantly proffers his reliance upon prayer for guidance in all matters great or small. He may have forgotten the possibility that his own wishful thinking and the human tendency to rationalize have distorted his so-called guidance. With the best of intentions, he tends to force his own will into all sorts of situations and problems with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God's specific direction. Under such an illusion, he can of course create great havoc without in the least intending it.

Daily Reflections
DAILY MONITORING
Continued to take personal inventory . . .
The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step -- "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us" -- also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality.

When I take my daily inventor y, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person.

As Bill Sees ItSpiritually Fit
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland icecap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of Scotch and ruin everything!

Big Book Quote
"Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in
a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!"

A.A. Thought For The Day
Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group? That
is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I set that
person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my house on sand.
A.A. members have "clay feet." They are all only one drink away
from a drunk, no matter how long they have been in A.A. This has
been proved to be true more than once. It's not fair to any member
to be singled out as a leader in A A. and to always quote that
member on the A.A. program. If that person should fail, where
would I be?

Meditation For The Day
You must always remember that you are weak but that God is strong.
God knows all about your weakness. He hears every cry for mercy,
every sign of weakness, every plea for help, every sorrow over
failure, every weakness felt and expressed. We only fail when we
trust too much to our own strength. Do not feel bad about your
weakness. When you are weak, that is when God is strong to help
you. Trust God enough, and your weakness will not matter. God
is always strong to save.


Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may learn to lean on God's strength. I pray that I
may know that my weakness is God's opportunity.

[hamsterwheel]

Oct 8, 2011 8:02:47 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Well how'd we all do last nite?

I really suggest you all check out "InTheRooms.com: again I'm on the NA side under ROYGRIP

This has been the first Friday I've ever been sober in a very long time. Watched the cardinals philly game last night. That was a nail biter. I did have some temptation yesterday. Went to world market and they had some craft specialty pumpkin beers (which are my weakness). Was so tempted to pick it up, but I realized I don't want the temptation and just have to realize I'm done with it. I'll check out the website. I still have lots to reply here, but wanted to let you know how Friday went.

[Deleted]

Good morning..

May each of you experience everlasting changes in life.. I wish the very best for everyone who wants the best for their lives..

A very interesting and good read.

[hamsterwheel]

Oct 7, 2011 11:13:20 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Hamster: re finding AA meetings: They apparently aren't supposed to advertise (they do in our newspaper and online here) but have you checked your phone book? There may be an 800# that can direct you to meeting options. Luck to you.

Wiggy Witchy, Kimber45 and RoyP, I don't get the local paper (get all my news online). I didn't really have any place to go that I trust, so I went here since I feel like I have a safe spot here where I can be anonymous. The next step will be for me to go to a meeting since I will no longer be anonymous. I'm not sure how ready I am for that next step quite yet, but I know I need to go since having the additional support will be good. I found a couple meetings out here with your help! Thank you!!