roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 17, 2011 21:16:00 GMT -5
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. Celebrating over 10 years sobriety/clean time. My clean date is Jan. 27th 2001. I do follow the path of the 12 steps of Narcotics Anonymous/Alcoholics Anonymous, and the spiritual concept of a higher power, I call God.
There are other ways to beat addictions, this is what works for me. I ask anyone with a problem or friends or family with a problem to find a way, any way to beat your/their addictions.
Hopefully we can discuss and support people struggling, just as I have, and do.
About myself, I'm 54 yr old male. Grew up, live and work in the entertaiment capital, Hollywood. Growing up here in the '60s and '70's partying was a way of life. Some of us are predisposed or suffer from problems that make us more suseptible to addictions. That be me! Low self esteem, thus a wanting to fit in. Alcohol, drugs made it easy, till it consumed me. Quitting was NOT easy. Many starts and stops, till I stopped trying to do it alone.
Anyway I look foward to thoughts and disscussions, or stories.
|
|
diamonds
Senior Member
Not as Tame as I Look!!
Joined: Feb 8, 2011 11:57:07 GMT -5
Posts: 3,522
|
Post by diamonds on Sept 17, 2011 22:41:47 GMT -5
Roy: I congratulate you on your new thread here and celebrating over 10 years of sobriety. I love your sincerity and beliefs and your dedication to stay true to them. a karma on your new board....
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 17, 2011 22:45:53 GMT -5
Thank you my dear friend. Meeting it straight on is the only way, I lied for to long to myself and everyone!
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 8:23:33 GMT -5
A pleasant good morning to all my fellow strugglers. Off to a meeting of like minded individuals and our usual breakfast at the "Country Folks Inn" mmmm! Remember as you close one door another opens.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 8:35:32 GMT -5
The Awakening A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can I've always loved this for positive energy!
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 8:48:42 GMT -5
Boundaries for addicts (or anyone else for that matter!)
Addicts, have problems with boundaries. Commonly people talk about "setting boundaries" -- addicts talk about it constantly -- but I think in my own journey in recovery I started throwing the lingo around before I was absolutely clear what it meant. I wasn't "wrong" in my understanding of the terms and concepts -- but I wasn't clear.
So first, let's get clear on the "what it is" part:
A boundary is a limit. "This is what I will do. This is what I won't do. This is what I will not allow in my life. This is what I will not allow you to say to me. This is what I will not allow you to do to me. This is what I will accept from you. This is what I won't accept from you." It is a clear statement that says "No" to some behavior (an action or an inaction) from another person in any context, be it love, family, work, school, etc. And then it is the calm, consistent enforcement of that statement.
These are my boundaries:
Other people's behavior does not dictate my behavior. If you lie to me I still speak the truth to you. If you steal from me I do not steal from you. My ethics and my principles are not changed by my anger or my fear, nor are they flexible in the context of "standing up for myself" (which in some situations is just "retaliation" in recovery drag.) You don't get to decide how I behave by the way you behave.
You can spoil your day -- that's up to you -- but you can't spoil mine -- that's up to me.
If you want to behave badly that's on you. But I'm not going to be part of it. I leave or you leave if you want to behave in a toxic or hurtful (to me, to you, or to an innocent bystander) manner.
Helping someone is not the same as enabling someone. Generally I do not shield people from the consequences of their actions (or their inactions), and I do not expect them to shield me from the consequences of mine. I most especially do not shield an addict from the consequences of their using.
I won't support other people's lies.
I will not allow people to abuse me verbally, emotionally, mentally or physically -- and while I am not responsible for the whole world around me, I will not sit idly by when others are being abused.
Some of the above are inspired by what I've heard in NA meetings, and have become a part of how I try to move in the direction of spiritual principles Some I've learned from working the Steps, some from working with sponsors, some I learned from the work of our fore bearers -- and some I learned the hard way, that is, by not having the boundary and thus being beat up and beat down -- and then beat down some more. Because believe me, if you can't set boundaries then every Crazy you meet has an All-Access Pass to every area of your life. (And an addict without boundaries is a resentment machine.)
I'm not a superhero (much as I like to wear a cape now and then). Absolutely I miss the mark on these some days. And sometimes when I'm not spiritually fit I get confused as to my part in a situation, and then how to set and keep healthy boundaries feels complicated and overwhelming. (Tenth Step, anyone?)
But if I start from clarity -- if I know what a boundary is and consequently then what my boundaries are -- I'm in a much better place to cope with things as they come at me.
Or, to put it another way: As life hands me its lumps and miracles I'm going to be a lot more graceful in accepting both
|
|
Jake 48
Senior Member
keeping the faith
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:06:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,337
|
Post by Jake 48 on Sept 18, 2011 9:15:48 GMT -5
Roygrip, I've been sober for 16 years, treat people the way I want to be treated. My step daughter (23) is in her third round of rehab, presently living in a sober house, hopefully she will pull her head out of her arse and realize the world does not revolve around her and her actions are hurting the people who love her and are trying to help her with her demons
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 12:11:37 GMT -5
Roygrip, I've been sober for 16 years, treat people the way I want to be treated. My step daughter (23) is in her third round of rehab, presently living in a sober house, hopefully she will pull her head out of her arse and realize the world does not revolve around her and her actions are hurting the people who love her and are trying to help her with her demons Bless you Jake. Awesome 16 yrs!. I was one of those who kicked and screamed, about my way! Many, many starts and stops! 8 rehabs! You know the drill, the active addict/alky believes the world revolves around them. We get clean when we're ready, not when someone says so. Many prayers and good wishes she figures it out. In active addiction, we only haver three things to look foward to. Jails, institutions and death, thats it! Peace my friend, look foward to updates, prayers for her and you.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 12:27:16 GMT -5
Hi Daphne. Congrats! Yeah I got the prob. too. Life shows up a lot. I'm real active on several online "meetings". My sponsor and I are good friends, so I miss a lot, LOL you can tell I'm rationalizing. You said it! Need to prioratize better!
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 17:04:36 GMT -5
I have found there are certain "ups" that I need to encounter and
Experience in my personal program, on a regular basis.I fondly refer
To it as the "seven-up" concept.
1.Get UP
I get up each day, grateful that I'm clean and I start be thanking my
Higher Power for the gift of recovery. I then face the fact that
life's in session and I have to live life on it's own terms and
Accept whatever it has to offer me; remembering that no matter what
Happens in the course of the day, I don't have to use any mood or
Mind altering substances.
2.Fess UP
I confess to my powerlessness and the unmangability of my life. Then
I admit to the need for a Power greater than myself, who I can turn
My shortcomings over to; and believe that He will restore me to
Sanity and remove my defects of character.
3.Give UP
I give up my will and my life and I turn them over to the care of
God.I ask him to guide me in my recovery, believeing that He knows
What He's doing- only wants the best for me- and will do for me what
I can't do for myself.
4.Suit UP
I wear my "work belt" which holds the tools of my recovery, and I
Take and use them wherever I go. The tools that I use most are
Honesty, openmindedness, willingness, accaptance, faith, and a daily
Inventory..& This helps me to put all the day's activities into
Their proper perspective.
5. Show UP
I show up at a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous so I can interact and
Relate to people who are just like me- who know where I've come from
And what I'm about- and who want to help me in my recovery,. Because
That I know that the threapeutic value of one addict helping another
Is without parallel.
6. Shut UP
My sponsor once told me to take the cotton our of my ears and put it
In my mouth, This was a rude awakening, but from that I learned to
Actively listen; not just hear, but really listen and allow myself to
Feel another addict's joy or pain. Yeah, this program works well when
You share, but it works even better when you stop and listen.
7. Keep UP
In order for anything to stay in a good working condition, you must
Keep up the maintenance.& The same holds true for my personal
Program of recovery in Narcotics Anonymous. Therefore, I maintain
My program with humility, forgiveness, spirituality and service.
My "7-UP CONCEPT" in a nutshell is this as long as I GET UP and
Start my day with an attitude of graditude and get on with the
Business of life; FESS UP that I really don't have it all together
And I need the help of a Power greater than myself; GIVE UP my self-
Centered attitude and turn my will and my life over to the care of my
Higher Power; SUIT UP and use the tools of recovery that this program
Has given me; SHOW UP at N.A. Meetings and participate in my own
Recovery; SHUT UP so that I can hear what needs to be heard; and KEEP
UP these practices on a daily basis- staying humble, forgiving,
Prayerful, and giving in the process- then I have all that I need to
Deal with whatever comes my way.
This is the UP side of my recovery, and no matter how down things may
Seem at the moment, as long as I use this concept, I can come out of
Any situation clean and serene.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 18:37:05 GMT -5
Love this, my sponsor gave me this, the first time I sponsored someone else
SPONSORS 12 STEPS.
1. I will not help you to wallow in misery and to remain idle.
2. I will support you to grow and become more productive, as you define
it.
3. I will help you become more independent, more happy in yourself, more
involved, less sensitive and more freedom to develop control over your own life.
4. I can not give you dreams or settle for you, simply because I can not.
5. I can not give you progress or grow for you. You have to grow yourself, by meeting reality, even when it seems hopeless and painful.
6. I can not take away the loneliness and pain.
7. I can not understand your world for you or consider your goals for you.
I can not tell you what is best for you in your world,
precisely because it is yours.
8. I can not convince you of the importance of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing rather than remain in a safe, but undeveloped and hopeless existence.
9. I will be with you and get to know you as a rich and stimulating friend, but I can not do it if you choose not to develop.
10. When I start to worry about you because I feel sorry for you and begin to lose confidence in you, I am a bad friend that both constrain and are constrained by you.
11. You should know that my support is unconditional, I will be with you and keep
the tough times with you as long as you give the slightest sign that you are trying to grow.
12. If you can accept this, perhaps we can help each other to be what we are meant to be, mature adults, as well leave the childishness of children themselves.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,591
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Sept 18, 2011 18:44:55 GMT -5
Congrats Roy and others. I liked your post#11.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 20:05:43 GMT -5
Thank you Optimist
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 20:17:03 GMT -5
Some wisdoms 1)No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission. 2)Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be. 3)Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently. 4)Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have. 5)Success stops when you do. 6)When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it. 7)You will never "have it all together." 8)Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip! 9)The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy." 10)The best way to escape your problem is to solve it. 11)I've learned that ultimately , 'takers'lose and 'givers' win. 12)Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared. 13)If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive. 14)We often fear the thing we want the most. 15)Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don't say! 16)Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints. 17)Look for opportunities. ..not guarantees. 18)Life is what's coming....not what was. 19)Success is getting up one more time. 20)Now is the most interesting time of all. 21)When things go wrong.....don' t go with them. 22)Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. 23)God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give him all the pieces. 24)A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever... 25)A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find, and lucky to have. 26)A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart. 27)A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous. 28)I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. 29)Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back. 30)Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace... and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 5:20:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2011 20:22:32 GMT -5
Great quotes..
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 18, 2011 20:36:59 GMT -5
Thanks Heart2
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 19, 2011 7:05:00 GMT -5
Good Morning all!
Moving Forward
Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.
It doesn't help.
It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.
Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.
Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 5:20:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 8:04:12 GMT -5
Roy, I reeeeeaaaaally enjoyed reading your post just now. There are some folks in our lives who desire to hold onto the old and obsolete.. Then their are folks like yourself. You let them have at it, but not having at it with you! "Let 'em go, so you can grow!" <-- Oh, I like that.. I am sure you know the risks in doing so, right? You will be the bad guy, and they will become the victim of your betrayal.. It's all in how they see your truth in their eyes .. Your truth ain't theirs.. Still have to keep it moving tough! Your post is encouraging.. Thanks.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 19, 2011 19:15:40 GMT -5
Roy, I reeeeeaaaaally enjoyed reading your post just now. There are some folks in our lives who desire to hold onto the old and obsolete.. Then their are folks like yourself. You let them have at it, but not having at it with you! "Let 'em go, so you can grow!" <-- Oh, I like that.. I am sure you know the risks in doing so, right? You will be the bad guy, and they will become the victim of your betrayal.. It's all in how they see your truth in their eyes .. Your truth ain't theirs.. Still have to keep it moving tough! Your post is encouraging.. Thanks. Heart2. But is their truth mine? No! Only I am in control of my destiny (besides God). If I chose to grow, and someone else doesn't and wishes to wallow in self pity, I'm not helping either of us by playing along with that! I can lend a hand for help. The hand is always extended..... But if someone doesn't want the help, I can't force it. I chose when I got clean, thussly anyone else "gets right" when they chose to. So will they point fingers at me, blame me? Probably, but thats part of the addicts "game". To not take responsibility for their own actions, and point fingers. Been there done that, and I won't do it any longer. I'll help as long as they're part of the solution, not part of the drama Heart2, re=read my Boundaries for addicts above over again. What I will and won't let happen.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 19, 2011 19:43:51 GMT -5
Choosing Forgiveness
"We all have been hurt and we all have a choice: we can spend the precious gift of time that God has given us harboring resentment and anger or we can choose to forgive and break free of the bonds that keep us from becoming fully what He wants us to be."
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13, NIV)
Lord, let me follow in the steps of your Son and learn to forgive those who have hurt me. Let my heart know the compassion that I need so that any hurt, anger, or bitterness may be set free and replaced with love and joy. Amen.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 5:20:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 20:58:55 GMT -5
I read the Boundaries' post. I hadn't before. I have a better understanding of your stance now. Your testimony is encouraging, Roy, and blesses me.
Your very last post is point on. (# 20) Being weighted down with unforgiveness is literally a miserable existence..
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 7:20:11 GMT -5
I read the Boundaries' post. I hadn't before. I have a better understanding of your stance now. Your testimony is encouraging, Roy, and blesses me. Your very last post is point on. (# 20) Being weighted down with unforgiveness is literally a miserable existence.. Heat2, it's all part and parcel of the addictive personality. Rather than looking at ones selfs "part in it". The addict points the finger, it's them, it's his/her fault. Then we harbor these build them up into a huge resentment, filled with anger and hate. An excuse to use more? Get angrier? Umhum! Forgiveness and letting go are paramount to moving foward. Sometimes the hardest, is forgiving yourself. ( It was for me) As my head cleared, the damage I had done overwhelmed me. Much freedom in learning how to forgive and move on.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 7:24:37 GMT -5
Good morning everyone Believe, Just Believe; Believe in the divine purpose; Believe that you are worthy of all of life's wonderful joys. Just believe in the process. When you believe; I mean truly believe, you will find a calmness within; you will know that all is going to be not only as it should be, but you will shine in the process
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 7:27:15 GMT -5
Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible ~ controlling that which we cannot ~ and instead, focus on what is possib......le ~ which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible... ~Melody Beattie
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 18:56:49 GMT -5
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY..... Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 20:09:47 GMT -5
Bravo to those who found sobriety! I was married to an alcoholic who is now sober, but he struggled for years to give up the bottle. He did have to hit bottom by losing several jobs and his family before he admitted that he had a problem with alcohol. When he made sobriety a priority, he viewed life differently. Chef! Thanks, it's not an easy road, God Bless him, and oh how I relate! I struggled for yrs, ruined many a job and relationship. The question is asked when you get sober, "what are you willing to change about yourself?" The answer MUST be..... EVERYTHING! So yes we in recovery do view life differently. Again God Bless him and you.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 20, 2011 22:36:02 GMT -5
Stay healthy, Roy. Thank you for the insight. Continued best wishes for him
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 21, 2011 7:53:48 GMT -5
The Gift By accepting this sobriety gratefully, and using it willingly, I have become aware of other gifts available to me as a human being. . . The gift of understanding has allowed the simple messages from my parents, my teachers, and my church to take on new meaning and soundness. With the gift of serenity, I am ready and willing to accept what God permits to happen to me; with the gift of courage, to take action to change the things I can for the good of myself and others. The gift of wisdom has been given to me so that in personal relationships I may act intelligently and with love or, as it has been expressed, competence and compassion. - Came To Believe p. 4
Thought to Ponder . . . The gift of sobriety is what gives value and dignity to my life.
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 22, 2011 7:19:08 GMT -5
Precious Sobriety My life had changed completely: I'd started doing the things I had dreamed of doing; my life had gained the breadth and depth I couldn't have imagined; there were loved and loving people in my life. It occurred to me that I had built up an equity of sobriety that I could not bear to lose; I could not envision myself starting over again. Sobriety had become more precious than life -- than any life that was not sober!
Thought to Ponder . . . Life is an ongoing miracle.
Good morning all! Have a pleasant day!
|
|
roygrip
Well-Known Member
he he he heeeee!
Joined: Sept 11, 2011 8:10:38 GMT -5
Posts: 1,488
|
Post by roygrip on Sept 24, 2011 19:30:11 GMT -5
A.A. Thoughts For The Day
Willingness "My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, 'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?' That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning."
Thought to Consider . . . The peaks and valleys of my life have become gentle rolling hills.
Like a Crowbar From: "Listening to the Wind" The Twelve Steps worked like a crowbar, prying into my dishonesty and fear. I didn't like the things I learned about myself, but I didn't want to go back where I had come from. I found out that there was no substance on the planet that could help me get honest. I would do just about anything to avoid working on myself.
VIGILANCE We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Today I am an alcoholic. Tomorrow will be no different. My alcoholism lives within me now and forever. I must never forget what I am. Alcohol will surely kill me if I fail to recognize and acknowledge my disease on a daily basis. I am not playing a game in which a loss is a temporary setback. I am dealing with my disease, for which there is no cure, only daily acceptance and vigilance.
Behind Our Excuses As excuse-makers and rationalizers, we drunks are champions. It is the business of the psychiatrist to find the deeper causes for our conduct. Though uninstructed in psychiatry, we can, after a little time in A.A., see that our motives have not been what we thought they were, and that we have been motivated by forces previously unknown to us. Therefore we ought to look, with the deepest respect, interest, and profit, upon the example set us by psychiatry.
"Spiritual growth through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, plus the aid of a good sponsor, can usually reveal most of the deeper reasons for our character defects, at least to a degree that meets our practical needs. Nevertheless, we should be grateful that our friends in psychiatry have so strongly emphasized the necessity to search for false and often unconscious motivations."
Big Book Quote "We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work."
A.A. Thought for the Day Let us continue with Step Twelve. We must practice these principles in all our affairs. This part of the twelfth step must not be overlooked. It is the carrying on of the whole program. We do not just practice these principles in regard to our drinking problem. We practice them in all our affairs. We do not give one compartment of our lives to God and keep the other compartments to ourselves. We give our whole lives to God and we try to do His will in every respect. "Herein lies our growth, herein lies all the promise of the future, an ever-widening horizon." Do I carry the AA. principles with me wherever I go?
Meditation for the Day "Lord, to whom shall we go but to Thee? Thou hast the words of eternal life." The words of eternal life are the words from God controlling your true being, controlling the real spiritual you. They are the words from God which are heard by you in your heart and mind when these are wide open to His spirit. These are the words of eternal life which express the true way you are to live. They say to you in the stillness of your heart and mind and soul: "Do this and live."
Prayer for the Day I pray that I may follow the dictates of my conscience. I pray that I may follow the inner urging of my soul.
|
|