Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[MarleyKeezy78]

[Blonde Granny]

Marley, AA isn't much of a religion as it is a way of life.

After reading a post of yours, it looks like your drinking is getting out of hand, and you are finding it hard to stop. If you also think that the drinking is making your life a little unmanageable, dearie, you've just taken your first step.

No one is ever going to try to convert you to a religion, we're just going to tell you that you need to find something that you're willing to look at that has a little more power than you do. Usually in the beginning it's a meeting you attend, or maybe someone you meet that you would be comfortable taking to one on one.

The AA program is not a sprint, it's not to see who can work 12 steps the quickest, (although I've seen that happen before). It's learning a way of life that works. It's ups and downs of life that many of us never learned how to deal with. It's learning that drinking isn't the solution to your problems, it IS your problem. It's funny when you realize that your problems start going away as you work the steps and start living and facing life in a kinder and gentler way.

Is it going to be easy? No, it's not!! It's facing yourself and realizing the shambles you have made of your life and maybe the lives of those who love you. No one can do this for you, and you can't do this for someone else. It's all up to you. People in meetings will help and share, you'll find comfort in knowing that you're not alone...there is help, you just have to take that first step.

 

Blonde Granny: 35 years of sobriety.  Celebrated my birthday March 10. 2014. Sober date March 10, 1979. 

This is a big year for DH and me: both of us will be 70, I'm a 20 year breast cancer survivor, and we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. I can tell you Marley, none of this would have been possible without the chip I was just given.  Just think, I've been sober now half my life.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I'm here too, marley - I don't have a substance problem but my late DH did (alcohol) - so I'm close to the subject and always willing to lend an ear - and any advice I might be able to dish out from trying to help him through his struggle - and resources he was in touch with.

(Has anyone heard from roygrip lately? I was thinking of him just a few weeks ago - he hasn't been by lately to update us on his progress/life. I worry whether he's ok.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Thank you everyone  It's nice to know that I am not the only one who has had to start this. Day one down on to tomorrow.

[chiver78]

hiya Marley, I'm one who's posted in this thread a few times over the years and who's coming back in to post again tonight. like you, I'm feeling like I need to cut back, if not completely cut out for awhile. in a year that was supposed to be all about getting back to myself, I've slipped into some really bad habits.....and I really need to change that.

I'm also a child of '78. while I don't have a DH to share my concerns with, I would guess we have some of the same issues we're self-medicating. in any case, please feel free to PM me if nobody's around in here and you need to get something out.


Blonde Granny - congrats on that chip!

[Blonde Granny]

Thx chiv!

[Jaguar]

Roy was on here last on Feb. 21st, 2014.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Thank you Chiver! Hope you get back on track too
Ok, day two... Let's do this!

[mmhmm]

We're all pulling for the both of you, MarleyKeezy78 and chiver78! I just know you two can do it!  It's hard but, according to my daughter, it's the best difficult thing she's ever done. It remade her life.

[Blonde Granny]

Chiv & Marley, you don't have to do this a day at a time, often times it will have to be 5 minutes at a time. Further, you don't have to be willing on some things, just muster up enough courage to ask for the willingness to be willing. How's that for a tongue twister of an idea. Trust me, over the years, I've done the 5 minutes at a time, and frequently have to ask for the willingness to be willing. And I can be just as stubborn as a mule.

on edit: And for the record, I'm not telling either of you that you have a problem and no one else should either.  It is for you to decide if you have a problem with drinking.  For me (way back when) I knew mine was getting out of control, and as scary as that was, I knew I had to do something about it.  Eventually I gathered the courage to go to an AA meeting.  During my first meeting I realized everyone in that room was a drunk...but I certainly wasn't.  That allowed for another 4 months of drinking before I finally gave up.  It was me, I was no different that anyone else in that room.  I was defeated, scared and lost.  It was my only hope, my only way out of the mess I had made of my life.  I would have done anything to get better.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Doing good today.

[mmhmm]

Glad to hear it!  Congrats! 

[Jake 48]

Marley,
Keep on, keeping on! Little steps, little changes and before you know it you will have changed your life 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

As Jake says, "baby-steps". You can do it girl! Hang in there!

[Deleted]

I'm getting 20 years in August. Man that seems like forever even to me! But I have done it one day at a time. AA works for me. The steps are all suggestions, I don't have to do anything I don't want to. And I love the people I have in my life because of it. I can go anywhere in the world and have friends and support that most people can only dream of. Use what works for you Marley

[roygrip]

A little bird told me to chk in! Hi everyone! Roygrip, I started this thread way back when. Marley K you have received some excellent advice from my friends and associates! First thing I will say is any of the 12 step programs AA/NA are not "religious" but possibly spiritual. As pointed out you will look for something "greater than you" to believe can help you. As has been said, the meeting itself, a person in the meeting, something.

Believe me the sheer willpower plan won't work. I've been there and done that. Depressed myself so far I thought I would die. (Why do I keep going back when I know it will kill me?) Finally I got to a point I just accepted I was an alcoholic/druggie and that's the way it was. The idea of another way to live was completely out of reach. A series of events changed all that. Yes I'm a proponent of 12 step programs (it saved my life) I'm the NA guy here. (For me being a Wildman growing up in and around Hollywood, NA was more for me)

Recovery is all about changing the way we view things and the way we view ourselves around those things. None of us here in recovery will tell you were perfect or our lives are perfect. We will tell you they are a helluva sight better than during our using periods. I have respect for myself ( I was a TO DIE FOR DRUG ADDICT) So if anyone can do it (me) you can, Marley.

Today in the recovery field there are many different ways to "get sober" Find /pick something that works for you. Explore them all. AA/NA is free, there are meetings everyday, everywhere. It works if you work it. (The failure rates take into account a whole lot of "bad" variables.)  My suggestion is to stay away from any of the programs that "claim" you'll be cured or that you'll be over your problem in a few days. Again its about changing you patterns, your choices, and working on your well being

I'm ROYGRIP, I celebrated 13 yrs clean on Jan 27th 2014. Please PM me, I'm available anytime now that I know peeps are stopping in.

Its great to "see" everyone!

Granny, CONGRATS AND HUGS!

Lassie!

JAKE!

CHIVER! good to "see" you.

[roygrip]

By the way, one day, one min (sometimes) at a time

And no I don't struggle anymore. I deal with my emotions, my problems, my life.

Whatever the "emotion" it will go away, I no longer find a reason to drink or use behind it.

PEACE!

[roygrip]

Congrats! Latebloomer!

[Jaguar]

Welcome back Roy.

[roygrip]

 Hi Sug!  Hope all is well in your world!

[Jaguar]

Apr 9, 2014 7:12:13 GMT -5 roygrip said:

 Hi Sug!  Hope all is well in your world!

No Roy it's not my sister has been given 2 months to live. Cancer sucks.

[roygrip]

Apr 9, 2014 7:17:26 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Apr 9, 2014 7:12:13 GMT -5 roygrip said:

 Hi Sug!  Hope all is well in your world!

No Roy it's not my sister has been given 2 months to live. Cancer sucks.

Oh Sug! I'm sooo sooo sorry! I lost both mom and dad to cancers, Lymphoma and Breast. Recently we're dealing with my sisters breast cancer. Hugs, thoughts, prayers!

[Jaguar]

Thanks Roy and all the best to your sister.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Sugi   Sorry to hear this.

[MarleyKeezy78]

Thank you for coming back and giving support, advice and sharing roygrip  I am so happy I found this thread!

Day three! Doing it

[mmhmm]

Soooo good to see you, Roy!  Give the wife and that pup a hug for me, and take one for yourself!

Yaaaaayyyyy, Marley! 

[roygrip]

Ok, at work and figured out how to get here on my phone..... A suggestion to you Marley, try something added, like a meeting, something online, by yourself may be rough, but congrats and good luck.
Mmmhmmm, Star has grown into the sweetest little girl. (I need to figure out pics again)
Sug, thanks, I wish you and your sis nothing but the best, always

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Welcome back, roy!! I've thought of you over the last few months and hoped you were doing well and would pop in to give us an update! Good to hear you're still on track & doing well.

SL

[MarleyKeezy78]

Thank you roy, I did go ahead and join an online group so going to start there and see. Feeling optimistic

[roygrip]

Apr 9, 2014 11:10:24 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

Thank you roy, I did go ahead and join an online group so going to start there and see. Feeling optimistic

 Good!  Something to be aware of is your emotions as a "trigger"  One of the things we say in recovery is When did I drink/use?  When I was happy, glad, angry, or sad!  Be aware of your emotions..... a for instance might be... I'm happy!  So and so makes me angry.... Geeze I need just one drink to calm down!  NO!  Start to realize that whatever the emotion.... In this case anger will go away replaced with another.  There for there is no need to manipulate that emotion with a drink, because for me, it won't end with one and there I am drunk again!