Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

From my grand sponsor, 36 yrs clean:

In the mid 70's we worked the steps like this (Updated words same
results) I never have or will consider any of the 12 steps as
separate this is why I cannot really speak about only one of them as
they are altogether one program.

A newcomer meets an older member (a lot of times the "Older Member"
was only a few days to a month older) and would say – How are you?
The newcomer NC would say "Fine" they'd ask again and again and the
replies went like this. I'm OK, I've been better, not too good, well
I am pretty shaky, (Sobbing well if you wanna know the truth I was
thinking often about myself, what's the use anyway –I'm an addict!
The older member would reply, that's OK, your right where you are
supposed to be and it will pass if you don't use and just keep coming
back! Do you have a Sponsor yet? NC – what's that? That's me, I'll
show you the ropes. You do want to get clean right? NC Yes – are you
willing to make the effort to get clean, NC-Yes – OK, I can help you
then.
OK, NC- so you at some point decided to use right? NC-Yes. OK, then
at some point after that you became aware that you could not manage
your own life right? NC-Yes. OK, then you became aware of your lack
of power to overcome the unmanageability right? NC-Yes. OK, and that
drove you insane and here you are right? NC- Yes. OK, well
congratulations you just worked the first step of Narcotics
Anonymous! The NC – OK.

Do you believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to
sanity? If they say anything besides yes no matter what it is – the
next thing goes like this. Well, you are powerless right? NC-Yes –
and your life has become unmanageable according to you correct? NC –
Yes and you are insane because of all this correct? NC – Yes – OK, so
you need a Seeing Eye person to help you out right? NC –Yes – OK, so
you need a power greater than you to restore you to sanity and if you
can't do it and no person can do it then it would have to be a Power
Greater than you right? NC – Yes – OK, Congratulations you just
worked the 2nd step of AN. Now, in order for this Power Greater than
you to restore you to sanity you must take action and do one thing.
You need to turn your will and your life over to this Power so He may
do it – and when He is done with it, He will give it back to you.
Now, if you really meant what you said than you have only one choice
and that would be to get a pen and paper and write your life story.
Contained in your life story are your 5th through 9th steps. Now, the
first 3 steps are steps to living a surrendered life to God as you
understand God, because we know we don't know much and He knows all
and He will lead us IF we have truly surrendered and know that no
challenge in life is too great for Him to handle, our job is simply
to Clean House, Trust God and Help all who come before us to the best
of our ever increasing ability leaving the results to Him.

The 4th through the 9th steps are taking the trash out and the 10th
through the 12th are not bringing it in.
This is the 12 step program of Narcotics Anonymous. This is how it is
meant to work in the beginning to work all12 of the steps immediately
to the best of our ability leaving the results to God, upon coming to
N.A. So, as to receive a working knowledge of these 12 steps and to
initially take out the obvious items of internal trash we have been
carrying needlessly and to begin the PRACTICE of not bringing anymore
trash in via the last 3 steps.

Hence, 90% of the people I personally know that have learned and
continued to PRACTICE the NA program this way usually work a 4th
step about 5 to 7 times before they feel that they have done it
fearlessly and thoroughly. They all PRACTICE the 10th, 11th and 12th
steps daily as this is the way the 12 steps were designed to be
PRACTICED as a lifestyle, of Surrendered contentment, and peace which
are the foundation of the true by-product called JOY. Some will argue
I will not. 90% of the addicts in NA are PRACTICING a program of un-
surrendered insanity. Of the 10% that are staying clean; they do not
Sponsor people this way and this is why we don't have 90% recovery.

If an addict comes through the doors and we share with them this way
right up front it puts the responsibility right where it belongs ON
THEM… If I were the dope man you would work these steps just like I
have said to get the dope – because if your a for real addict, you
are surrendered to the dope, the insanity the shame, failure,
dereliction and all the rest, you have no sense of pride and will do
anything to get and use drugs. RIGHT !!!!!!!

All these principles are EXACTLY the same – for better or for worse
they work as they are applied by anyone who so PRACTICES them to the
best of their ability. I became derelict to my God given
responsibilities and became an addict, I came to the program and was
told immediately all of the above and through the past 31 years have
become better and better at carrying the message of recovery.

I am not an idiot and I have learned two things from every human
being I have met – What to do and what not to do, I am equally
grateful to both. So, yes-I can teach others not only the way I was
taught but the best of all that I have been taught and that is ever
increasing and will continue until I die or have some disease
hindering me from so doing. Until then, I will carry the message of
recovery because I'm recovering, as a result of a spiritual
experience ever growing and changing me as I serve you the NA way in
my own way to the best of my ability with my experience, strength and
hope.

I have nothing to gain, prove, or accomplish each day I live is a
reprieve from the day before in all the mistakes I intentionally and
unintentionally make in this life of mine that God has graced Me
with .

[roygrip]

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS is a fellowship designed and administered by a bunch of
ex-drugies whose only qualifications for membership are that they can't use
drugs and have decided they don't want to learn how. Not that they could
anyway, they never could, and it's highly unlikely that they ever would.
It has no rules, dues or fees, nor anything else that any sensible
organization seems to require.

At meetings, the speaker starts on one subject, winds up talking about
something entirely different, and concludes by saying he doesn't know
anything about the program except that it works.

The groups are always broke; yet always seem to have money to carry on.
They are always losing members but seem to grow. They claim NA is a selfish
program but they always seem to be trying to give it away and to do
something for others. Every group passes laws, rules, edicts and
pronouncements that everyone blithely ignores; members who disagree with
anything have the privilege to walk out in a huff, quitting forever, only to
return as if nothing has happened and be greeted accordingly. Nothing is
ever planned 24 hours ahead, yet great projects are born and survive
magnificently. Nothing in NA is according to Hoyle.

How can it survive?

Perhaps it's because we have learned to live and laugh at ourselves. God
made man. He made laughter too. Perhaps he is pleased with our disorganized
efforts and makes things right no matter who pushes the wrong button. Maybe
he is pleased, not with our lack of perfection, but with our sincerity.
Maybe he is pleased with our trying to be nobody but ourselves.

We don't know how it works, but it does, and members keep receiving their
dividends from their NA investments. It is smart to be clean, and much
easier, my friends, to stay clean than to get clean.
I not only believe in Miracles...I depend on them!!!!!!

"When you stand outside a room where a group of Narcotics Anonymous is
meeting, the most frequent sound you hear is laughter. Mellow laughter,
which can come only from people who have looked destruction and catastrophe
in the face, not once but continuously over long years, and now are free and
unafraid.

The laughter, in short, of people who hold God's hand and feel safe.







It is when you are grateful for what you have

and able to share it with others

that you are living in abundance.

as we argue eye to eye,we miss the addict about to die"

[roygrip]

Jan 11, 2013 7:16:35 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Good morning Roy -- Friday night meeting tonight! Yippee!!

Enjoy. Take what you get, leave the rest! Listen to the message, (because sometimes the messanger sucks!)

Sometimes meeting are like personalities, you don't like that one. I'm glad you found one you enjoy! Hugz!

[roygrip]

[roygrip]

The Awakening


A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.


Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.


This is your awakening.


You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.


You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.


You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.


You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you.


So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.


You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.


You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.


You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.


You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.


You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.


You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.


Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.


You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.


You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.


You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.


You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.


You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.


You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.


More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.


You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.


You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.


You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you learn not to always take it personally.


You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.


You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.


You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.


Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.


You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.


You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.


Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can


I've always loved this for positive energy!

[Jaguar]

Glad you made it to V5 Roy.

[Jake 48]

hello everyone

[kimber45]

Good Morning

[Shooby]

Hi Lucy!  Looks like we are assembling the Peanuts Gang!

[roygrip]

 I feel like a LINUS

[roygrip]

 Celebrated 12 yrs on Jan. 27th

[chiver78]

Feb 9, 2013 20:02:19 GMT -5 roygrip said:

 Celebrated 12 yrs on Jan. 27th

congrats!

[Reckless Roselia]

Spring is almost here and I am a happy bunny. 

Nice to see you again, Roy. 

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone

[roygrip]

Hello everyone.  Lone I am so sorry!  Sadly he will need to find his own way.  I have a friend addicted to benzoids (the vallium family)  For many years.  He DR shopped. (went to multiple Drs)  He now uses the internet (people using code) Or buys from foreign countries.  300 - 1000 pills.  His family has had me do interventions on him twice.  Sadly his father never follows thru.  I fear he will die, but at this point all I can do is pray as his father cosigns his BS.

My prayers go out to your nephew, may he figure it out and seek help.  I see kids die regularly from the vicodin/opiate addictions

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Hello again, Roy! Thanks for popping by again. Hope you're doing well. I was thinking of you just the other day. Sorry to hear about your friend - I hope he finds his way before he's too far gone (if he's not already). All you can do is try - it's up to him to accept that he has a problem and needs help.

[kent]

Feb 22, 2013 8:07:57 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Way to go Roy!! Woot! 

So sorry for what your family is going through Lone. It's really hard when you love an alcoholic/addict.

 (for Roy and Lone)  I just learned yesterday that some friends just lost their daughter to alcoholism (liver failure) and it's heartbreaking.  She was around 40, smart and absolutely gorgeous. 

 For her

I'm sure she could have written her own ticket in life but decided booze was the path to follow.  To make matters even more tragic, her daughter has turned into a drug addict and is in and out of jail on a consistent basis.

 Once again for the kid

[mmhmm]

A very sad story, kent.  Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon one.  If only people could realize where that road leads.

[roygrip]

Sadly only 15 to 20% who enter into 12 step programs will make it.   Think of how many addiction touches.  My prayers to all.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Hello roy - thanks for popping by. It is too bad the percentage rate for successful recovery is so low - many addicts just don't have the will-power to commit to the program. It's not the fault of the 12-Step program - a person has to be willing to want to quit (whatever their addiction may be). Many are afraid of facing the world without their crutch to lean on.

[Jaguar]

Yeah it is sad how many people addictions hit, really sad.

[Jake 48]

Hello all,
update on DSD, she is working the programs, following the steps, recently went to court on her own to make amends with the bank she screwed out of money when she was stealing checks from her fathers business. she has a public defender who is helping her get the words "larceny" out of the picture and set up a payment plan with the bank. This was several years ago but she is trying to do the right thing.  I did ask her when was it going to be my turn for amends and she laughed and informed me that there is not enough time for that, oh well

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone, 
DSD will have 2 years of sobriety on this Friday, she is annoyed with me because I have to work that night and won't be there for her to get her chip. I do have a small gift for her to mark this milestone in her recovery

[mmhmm]

That's really sweet of you, Jake.  I'm sure your DSD will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will understand the need to work when you're expected to work.  She's probably more disappointed than annoyed, when it comes down to it.  Usually, a big hug and a "Way to go, girl!" takes care of that pretty quickly.

[toomuchreality]

Happy birthday tomorrow Roy! 

I hope it's a good one! 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Roy hasn't been around/posted updates since April.

I DO hope all is well in his world. It would be nice if he could check in and let us know he's doing ok - I think of him often.

[Jaguar]

Yeah I hope everything in his world is okay.

[toomuchreality]

I know Roy hasn't posted in a long time, but thought that if he were to going to post somewhere, it would be here. And I wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday!
 

[roygrip]

  Hello all!  I took a break is all.  My world is good. Still doing the right thing.  (well to the best of my ability)   I have been clean, sober, for 4657 days, that's 12 yrs, 9 months and 1 day.   Thanks for my birthday wishes!  I hope all is well with each of you.  Jake, late congrats to the DSD!  I have been doing work in the local county jail on Friday nites. Chairing a 12 step meeting.  It reminds me of when I was a revolving door drinker.  Giving back.  Brings me some peace.  I'll try to be around more, hugs to all!

[mmhmm]

Hey, roygrip!  So glad to hear all's going well in your world.  Of course, you've been missed.  It's lovely to see you posting again.  Hope to see more of you!  How's the puppy, by the way?Now a dog, I'm sure, and much loved.