Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

Some Philosophy

The A.A. Twelve-Step Philosophy

Guest Author - Linda Joan Paul

Alcoholics Anonymous or AA for short was founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. The primary purpose of AA is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. Alcoholics Anonymous has grown and expanded to presently include more than two million diversified members. Although it was founded on Christian principles, the AA traditions recommend that AA groups attempt to steer clear of dogma, hierarchies and involvement in public issues.

Basically, the principles speak about having an addiction that has become so intense that it leaves its victim feeling powerless to avoid temptation.

Step 1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

How many of us have been in that same situation? Whether that addiction was smoking cigarettes, gambling, overeating, or staying in an abusive relationship, the feeling of being powerless to break the harmful and negative cycle in which we find ourselves is still the same. And, in the process, at some point, our lives become unmanageable.

Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The principles suggest that in order to gain control over this addiction that has us feeling powerless we may believe that there is a power out there that is indeed greater than ourselves and therefore that power could restore our sanity. What power is there that is greater than ourselves? Some might choose to call this power by a name-- perhaps God or Allah or Goddess-- and some might simply call that power unconditional or universal love. Others might suggest that the power is the will to survive.

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Once we have admitted that there is a power which is stronger than ourselves, we may choose to turn our lives over to that power, in whatever way we choose to understand that power. Perhaps this is the basis of having faith in something beyond our own life experience. Addictions cause fear and fear breeds anger and anger breeds self-contempt. What happens if we simply allow that fear to dissipate in the face of self acceptance and self-love?

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Once that fear is gone, we can then take an inventory of what is left behind. What caused the addiction in the first place? How can we prevent it from happening again? What is the fear that motivated that addiction? And, most importantly, can we love ourselves enough to just say “no.”

Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

When we admit to ourselves in the presence of our newfound strength and another human being that we have done many things that were wrong while we were caught in the web of our addiction, the process of self denial ends and a sense of self empowerment begins.

Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Now, we are ready to allow our faith in whatever higher power we have chosen to remove this short-comings even if it is a painful process for us to endure.

Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

And, in so accepting that we have shortcomings and that we have asked to have them removed, we gain a sense of humility and self-understanding. We are ready to totally let go and start anew.

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

In every case of addiction, someone is harmed, even if that someone is only ourselves. When you harm another human being in body, mind or spirit, you harm yourself as well. Asking for forgiveness, even self forgiveness is one of the hardest things a human being can do. But, in order to move forward it is an important step we must take. So, we make a list of those we have harmed and we ask those people to forgive us for our actions.

Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

There are times when we have harmed someone so badly that to approach them for forgiveness would only cause them unbearable pain. This is a result of our actions that we must accept and understand.

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Addictions have a way of causing people to deny responsibility for their actions and the resulting consequences. When the addiction is conquered a new sense of responsibility and consequence ensure. We start to look at life as a cause and effect situation. When we are wrong, we admit that we are wrong.

Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Inner peace is often achieved through silence and inner searching. Prayer and meditation are ways of finding that inner silence and sense of peace. This allows us to ‘touch base” with something beyond ourselves… a higher consciousness..

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Once we have woken up to the spirit within ourselves, it is time to share this understanding with others. This can be accomplished through volunteer work in the community, helping others who are in need of our services or simply by maintaining a sense of inner peace and tranquility in the face of conflict.

We take these twelve steps often in our lifetime… sometimes rising and sometimes falling. They are a constant reminder of what we can and should be. Just imagine if the world in general lived by these principles.. What a wonderful world it would be.

[suek1958]

Good evening all
Just turned all my clocks ahead Lots of snow melted today!
Daphne, I can feel your excitement about your new blue truck!!
Jake, we're all rooting for you and DSD!
Roy, thanks for checking in, I missed ya! And thanks for posting the 12 steps

OH I almost forgot! I visited with my son for 30 min today!!

[roygrip]

76 degrees and sunny in Southern Ca. ;D

[naggie1972]

DAPHNE, how dare you get my fave car, that is what I want, a red tacoma, lucky you. Enjoy.

[roygrip]

How's that GREEN truck Daph? ;D

[suek1958]

I thought she said it was BLUE-ISH GREEN ;D

Good morning all- we had 62F yesterday!!!!!!!!!

[Jake 48]

Daphne called her truck pretty ;D

[suek1958]

HI Jake!

gotta go to work now.....................

[roygrip]

A bluish -green pretty truck! (LMAO!)



NEVER RED!!!!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Roy, I would copy and give to him some of the things you've written here, but I know he doesn't care enough to even read them.

Lone - you won't know that for sure unless you at least try. It won't hurt to pass on the info to him - even if it does no good. But by NOT giving it to him, you're just giving up on him without even at least trying. Trust me on this - I had to go through the same thing with late DH. It's not easy if they don't want to accept the help, but not even trying is failing them - and you.

[Jaguar]

Mar 18, 2012 11:43:12 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Roy, I would copy and give to him some of the things you've written here, but I know he doesn't care enough to even read them.

Lone - you won't know that for sure unless you at least try. It won't hurt to pass on the info to him - even if it does no good. But by NOT giving it to him, you're just giving up on him without even at least trying. Trust me on this - I had to go through the same thing with late DH. It's not easy if they don't want to accept the help, but not even trying is failing them - and you.

You have to put one foot forward to walk.

[kent]

Lone, what a sad situation for all of those around him, including you.

His doctor said he won't make it through another hospital stay.

Exactly what my totally DEAD bother-in-law was told on several occasions - he didn't listen - he checked out this past summer. Like father, like son.

It's more than a chemical addiction. The guy needs help, would benefit from AA, but he's an adult and if he won't get it, what do you do?

I'd keep trying (see book ref below) but there's only so much you can do with a self-destructive personality. As a conversation starter (when he's sober and rational), you might ask him if he knows exactly which drink will trigger the cirrhosis of the liver that will send him to an early grave.

A major problem is that he has nothing in his life that is worth living for

He just hasn't found it (or had it pointed out to him)

His dad is an alcoholic

It (alcoholism) tends to run down the male side of the family. For what it's worth, I'd buy a couple of copies of Under The Influence. Have his Mom read one and put the other copy where he can easily find it. Reading it will help her and if he starts reading it, he may not put it down until he's finished. The book approaches the issue from a medical viewpoint rather than one by which the alcoholic is characterized as a mentally weak loser.

My very best to all......

[Jake 48]

Lone, giving him copies of some of RG posts or Under the Influence would show him that he has you and that you care about him. how old is your nephew? IMO, until he changes his circle of friends they will continue to be a negative influence. Hang in there and keep us posted

[Jake 48]

hello all,
DSD was "offered" military police w/ the NG. She does not want to go into law enforcement but the NG only has that available right now, she going to go talk w/ the other branches of the service to see what is available. she is behaving herself, got a new sponsor who is making her follow through on the steps.

[roygrip]

Mar 18, 2012 9:22:26 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

My dear nephew is drinking again, and I'm heart broken.
He keeps ending up in the hospital, gets clean for weeks, starts hanging with his drinking buds, and down he goes again.
He feels so alone in the world and other than his mother, has no one that cares.
His doctor said he won't make it through another hospital stay.
He can get clean, he just can't stay clean.
It's more than a chemical addiction. The guy needs help, would benefit from AA, but he's an adult and if he won't get it, what do you do?
A major problem is that he has nothing in his life that is worth living for, so he drinks. From the time he was a little kid it seems he's had some kind of pain and anger. His dad is an alcoholic and wasn't around to help raise him. Maybe this is where the pain started. I don't know.
Roy, I would copy and give to him some of the things you've written here, but I know he doesn't care enough to even read them.
My heart is breaking.

Dear Lone, I'm so sorry to read this. But this addiction, it's what happens. We all have a bottom we must reach. Mine was very severe, so I relate well to your nephew. At that point there are two ways to go. A series of events directs us as to which path to take. You standing on the outside as a loveing family member can help. Place this info in front of him. Find your local AA meetings and talk to some people at them (you can call the local hotline for suggestions) PM me if you wish, give me a general area (state, metro area) and I'll get you some numbers if you wish. I suggest you go to Al-Anon, it'll give you some coping tools. Maybe if he talks to others in recovery he'll realize, A) it's never hopeless, and B) he's not alone. He needs to stay away from those friends, but most of all he needs a plan of recovery and support of others to do so. He can't veer off that path after a few months. Questions asked of new people in recovery are, "What are you willing to change about yourself?" Correct answer is "everything" So far he has to realise, what he's been doing, got him to this point. So doing the same thing over again, expecting a different result is insanity. Sadly, he and only he has to want it. But when we're at the darkest hour and the world is very bleak, it's also when we're the most supsceptable to a helping hand. Get him the material, get some help from sober peeps who have walked in his shoes, get to Al Anon for some tools of your own as well. There is hope for him, really, he has to want it. PM me let me know how I can help you.

[roygrip]

PS, everyone here's ideas are great, the more tools you've got. But you cannot ever give up hope.... Period.

[roygrip]

You are right, it is way more than a chemical addiction. Drugs, alcohol is but a symptom of addiction, the problem is us. I suffered low self esteem for one, drinking/drugging gave me a false sense of strength, a way to escape reality. Once I faced all that, well......; No need to drink. He needs to work on all those demons, (which AA will help tackle) Once he begins facing those demons, then the "need" seems to melt away. I've been there Lone, multiple relapse was my game.

[Deleted]

Addiction seems to be the problem of our time. Maybe because we are more mobile and have less family support. Not sure why. But, i do think it is something that really needs to be addressed as a public health problem as well so that there are resources for people.

[roygrip]

Mar 19, 2012 6:51:25 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Addiction seems to be the problem of our time. Maybe because we are more mobile and have less family support. Not sure why. But, i do think it is something that really needs to be addressed as a public health problem as well so that there are resources for people.

Hi Shooby! Welcome. It's certainly in the fourfront. My generation (60's) sure brought drugs to the forfront. It was glamorized, embraced, then the realities of addiction set in. Needless deaths due to addiction, DUI, illegal sales (gang wars) etc have certainly brought it to the forfront, since then. There are lots of resources out there, but AA is basically the only free resource. Rehabs are great tools, but the average "Joe" doesn't have ther $30,000 cost for a 30 day stay in rehab. Not everyone has ins. to cover it. That is the biggest issue I see. If the gov. stepped in and funded programs of recovery for everyone, I see a lot of street drug addicts seeking help. Many I work with say, "If only I had the money" Here in Calif. Each rehab has just a few (5) free beds with waiting lists. Jail has drug programs too, but has waiting lists. We as a public need to realize that of those incarcerated in prisons, fully 80% have drug problems or drugs were the reason for they're incarceration. Work on the drug problem at a state and federal level, and help empty those prisons and make productive people again. We addicts aren't bad people, we are people with a disease, the disease of addiction. Deal with it. Of course emptying prisons looses money for the states, well turn thiose prisons into rehabs!!

[suek1958]

Good morning everyone

I can't stay, but I wanted to say that I heard of another book "Waking Up Happy"

www.createspace.com/3581082

hope this might help someone.

gotta go. I'm thinking of you and your nephew, Lone

[Jake 48]

Welcome shooby

[Deleted]

I have issues with insomnia. I have found that Valerian works pretty well. It is an herbal medication that smells like sweaty, stinky gym socks. I get in a capsule. You know you are getting the real thing if you open the bottle and it about knocks you out! You can buy it over the counter any place that sells natural supplements.

[roygrip]

My wife has insomnia issues, she's in recovery as well. She uses Melatonin, takes it occasionally BEFORE she goes to bed, says it calms her down enough to help her get to sleep.

[kimber45]

Good Morning Everyone

DH has sleep issues as well. His Dr. prescibed ambien, but he doesn't take it very often, usually he will just take a lorazepam instead.

[kent]

Mar 21, 2012 9:13:38 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

Good Morning Everyone

DH has sleep issues as well. His Dr. prescibed ambien, but he doesn't take it very often, usually he will just take a lorazepam instead.

None of my business Kimber but.....be careful with lorazepam, it can be VERY addictive. We went through this issue when my wife had to be treated in a hyperbaric chamber. She was given a prescription for that stuff to help relax her while in the chamber (she did 79 "dives" over two different periods).

The problem with lorazepam, beside its addictive nature, is that, for some people, they can actually take more than the prescribed amount without even knowing it (their brain "forgets" they've already taken it) and they become extremely detached from reality. Just my two cents.

[roygrip]

Kent your right, Lorzapam is in the same family as Valium (Diazapam) Both are highly addictive and as you say the brain "forgets"

[kimber45]

Thanks Kent and Roy for the info on Lorazepam. When he first quit drinking, he took it more often ( a couple a day). Now he only takes it once in a while.

[Jake 48]

Hello all

[suek1958]

Hello everyone Hope you are all doing well.

I agree with staying away from Lorazepam! Addicting!

I use Melatonin on occasion, it works well! You take it an hour or so before bedtime.
I had to cut my 3mg tabs in half, cus I woke up groggy with a whole one.

[Deleted]

Good morning everyone. Sounds like a fun filled weekend daphne. I love chili, who doesn't Do you serve it up with a side of cornbread too?