Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

Nov 2, 2011 21:26:24 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG,

Re: the abusive relationship: BTDT, many years ago. What hit home for me was when someone said to me: "If you stay with him, you are as sick as he is."

Anywho! I just came back from one of my monthly volunteer meetings. For those of you who are reading this, and are struggling, please, please, if you can find it within you, find something to do for someone else. It really helps to get out of our own head for awhile. Just for a while. Try it. If it doesn't fit, then try something else. For me, I tried volunteering for a city government board several years ago. It wasn't a good fit, because I am not political. Then I volunteered for our local Chamber board for several years. It, too, got political. I don't volunteer w/ the elderly because I don't want to jeopardize my asthma. Check your newspaper, the college/library bulletin boards, the chamber website, etc. for stuff you can do. Feel free to PM me if you would like.

Iggy And I agree. My "fit" is two fold, I give back in recovery, I volunteer at the rehab I went through the last time, and I sponsor in NA. Giving back what was so freely given to me.
Also I rescue and help place pitbulls. My "baby" is Girlydog. I found her wandering on a freeway offramp 8 yrs ago, she was the throwaway pit, that gets thrown in the fight ring to make the fighters tougher. Through her I learned all about the practice, and pitbulls. So many are discarded. So I volunteer there as well, helping to find homes.

Your right Iggy, it makes me feel good and the b enefit to others is why I feel good. Bless you

[roygrip]

Below is something I wrote a while back that tells my process of finding what recovery meant for me. I think there is enough there to help get the conversation started.



Like most of us I came into recovery with my self-esteem pretty beat-up. Not sure if I could stay clean or if I even deserved to be clean, the acceptance and love in these rooms was an important ingredient in coming back. In early recovery this acceptance became like a drug to me.



As much as I heard "This is not a popularity contest” or "It doesn't matter what other thinks" my disease told me different. Absence any real faith in a higher power "that could restore me to sanity", I felt pretty lost. At the same time the approval and/or admiration of other N. A. members was my only indicator of recovery. I.e. if someone appeared to be popular in the program they must have recovery. My "brilliant" addict thinking told me that if I gained acceptance in the program of Narcotics Anonymous I would have recovery.



If I could act (talk) as though I was recovered then I would gain acceptance in the program. The problem was I had no idea what recovery looked like. So I listened to others and what they had to say about what recovery was. I listened most to those who talked as though they knew what recovery was. What I heard instead was a lot of what recovery wasn't. It wasn't being angry, fearful or hurt or having any of those "negative emotions". It wasn't having character defects or at least admitting to them. Most of what I heard that wasn't recovery described me pretty good and almost all of what I heard professed as recovery seemed pretty far from my own view of myself.



At this point I was comparing my insides to others outsides, and not feeling very good about it. However, with acceptance as my criteria for recovery I was not about to let others see what was really going on inside of me. Instead I came up with a set of rules of what recovery was. Most of these started with "If I was in recovery I would not; feel, think, or do ..." or "If I am in recovery I should; feel, think, or do...". These rules told me what I could share at meetings, what to allow others to know of me and who I should be associating myself with (my warped sense of sticking with the winners).



Even, when I started working the steps, I based how well I worked them on what I thought the steps should do for me. The problem with these rules was they had no basis in any real experience of others or myself. When I did hear others share something that did not fit these rules, like experiencing a real emotion or acting off a character defect, I shamed them, sometimes vocally, for not fitting the rules. I was at this point comparing my outsides with others insides.



The result of all of this, was feeling like I didn't belong or I couldn't be accepted because I knew that inside I could not meet up to these rules. At the same time I avoided people who I did identify with because they did not live up to them either. Instead of feeling accepted, I ended up feeling isolated and ashamed.



When the pain became too much, I could no longer deceive myself about who I was. I had to become willing to share, honestly what was going on with me and how I was feeling. At first there was a lot of shame behind my sharing. However, the more I shared, the more I found out that I was not alone in any of those feelings I was experiencing. More importantly, by admitting where I "fell short", it allowed me to genuinely move past those short comings.



What I discovered in the Seventh Step was that humility meant honestly accepting who I am. Today that means I am addict who is trying to get better. Besides being an addict, it means I am also a human being. As such I am going to feel all of my emotions. It also means that I accept that I will never achieve anything close to perfection. At times I will act off my character defects, hurting others and myself, at times intentionally. The difference today is I hold myself accountable for these behaviors.



In being willing to admit and accept my faults, I have discovered through my higher power the ability to act with courage, love and selflessness. I understand recovery today as a road and not a destination. What for me defines recovery is not what I feel or to an extent any single action. But my willingness, to continuously look at myself with as much honesty as I can, Then with that awareness seek to discover, then strive to become the person I believe my Higher Power has envisioned for me.



Today I find great comfort and lessons from those who share their travels on the road to recovery openly and honestly. However, it is not their acceptance that validates me. Instead it is the sharing common experiences and struggles, along with the rewards of true self-esteem, purpose and love, which confirms the direction I am heading. For me today having social acceptance or popularity in or out of these rooms holds little value in the face of recovery

[roygrip]

Nov 3, 2011 11:57:26 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

I am looking for the thread where we were discussing Bipolar. Was this it? I need to pick someone's brain.

Lone, I think it was the "Deppression Thread" and I think you were talking to femmefatale

[roygrip]

Choices



Being in recovery has taught me that "Just for today" I have Freedom of

choice.



Freedom to choose to: OR Freedom to choose to:



Drug......OR. .....Not Drug

Stay Sick......OR. .....Get Well

Live in the Past......OR. .....Live in the Today

Stay Irresponsible. .....OR.. ....Learn to Accept Responsibility

Deny......OR. .....Accept

React......OR. .....Think and Act

Go It Alone......OR. .....Seek Help

Be Dishonest... ...OR.... ..Truthful

Feel Self Pity......OR. .....Live Gratitude

Have Fear......OR. .....Have Faith

Swear......OR. .....Have Prayer

Suffer Humiliation. .....OR.. ....Seek Humility

Try and Change Others...... OR......Change Myself

Analyze Everything.. ....OR... ...Utilize the Steps

Feel Guilt......OR. .....Seek Forgiveness

Dwell on the Negative.... ..OR..... .Live the Positive

Vegetate.... ..OR..... .Grow

Be Impatient... ...OR.... ..Learn Patience

Be Judgmental.. ....OR... ...Be Tolerant of Others

Be Sad......OR. .....Be Happy

Be Disrespectful of Others...... OR......Treat All With Courtesy, Dignity

and Respect

Be Lonely...... OR......Be a Friend

Procrastinate. .....OR.. ....Do It Now

Complicate.. ....OR... ...Simplify

Be a Slave to the Drug......OR. .....Be Free to Be Me

Die a Slow Death......OR. .....Live a Full Life

Be Selfish..... .OR...... Caring

Hoard......OR. .....Share of Myself

Lust......OR. .....Love

Be Shattered... ...OR.... ..Whole

Believe in No-One...... OR....... Believe in a HP



__._,_.___

ANONYMOUS

[Jake 48]

hello everyone

[roygrip]

Nov 3, 2011 20:17:11 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Nov 3, 2011 20:12:17 GMT -5 roygrip said:

Lone, I think it was the "Deppression Thread" and I think you were talking to femmefatale

Roy. Thanks!

[roygrip]

Hi JAKE!

[roygrip]

Nov 4, 2011 7:07:56 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Good morning all! I'm back and feeling pretty good after five days without power.

We have some "clean up" to do (take down a tree and install a generator), but I'm feeling pretty good. Tonight's my usual Friday night AA meeting and I already have my dollar folded up in my pocket! I am really looking forward to it this week.

Thanks for all that you do, and all that you will do!

Good for you Daphne. Glad you got power back!
I go to a huge fri. nite NA meeting right in the heart of Hollywood. Quite a lot of very funny characters, lousy coffee and great speakers. ;D

[roygrip]

Nov 4, 2011 14:36:37 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Ooops -- Nope Iggy. They pass around a basket midway through so most people put a dollar in, but you certainly don't have to! It's 100% voluntary!

100%

[roygrip]

We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.
- Earl Nightingale

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every day is a day to have a positive attitude. Smile and keep positive regardless of the circumstances that attempt to beat you down.

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone! Iggy, if the coffee is good put the dollar in, if the coffee sucks, reluctantly put the dollar in

[roygrip]

Nov 5, 2011 8:00:25 GMT -5 Jake 48 said:

Hello everyone! Iggy, if the coffee is good put the dollar in, if the coffee sucks, reluctantly put the dollar in

MMMM! Bad coffee, and stale donuts!

[roygrip]

The 7 Ups!

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"This is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth,
so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3

4.STAND UP
. . . for what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!
. . to the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me".
Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up !!
. . for something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up !!
. . your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead
PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."
Philippians 4:6

A POSITIVE THOUGHT
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem ;
not to mention that Friday at Calvary .
Face it, He's crazy about you.

Oh, and God answers Knee-Mail!

;D

[roygrip]

I have more peace and contentment. Life has fallen into place. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle have found their correct position. Life is whole, all of one piece. I am not cast hither and yon on every wind of circumstance or fancy. I am no longer a dry leaf cast up and away by the breeze. I have found my place of rest, my place where I belong. I am content. I do not vainly wish for things I cannot have. I have "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to our hearts. It is a voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation. It is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We can reach out into the darkness and figuratively touch the hand of God. As the Big Book puts it: "Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. We can find the Great Reality deep down within us. And when we find it, it changes our whole attitude toward life."

[diamonds]

Nov 5, 2011 8:00:25 GMT -5 Jake 48 said:

Hello everyone! Iggy, if the coffee is good put the dollar in, if the coffee sucks, reluctantly put the dollar in

Jake, you are too clever for words.... Love all of your Snoopy's and your new nick for Thanksgiving is a hoot...

A k for you as you always make me smile....

[diamonds]

Nov 5, 2011 16:09:40 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

diamonds, LOL! I didn't get his @325 till now....

<------- blond

Too funny, I had to look twice myself. Blond also, but from the magic potion at my beauty shop...

[roygrip]

<------ brown, 325 for turkey roasting?

[diamonds]

ha,,,ha...I'm still trying to figure out your new name for Thanksgiving IG....

[diamonds]

Nov 5, 2011 19:16:46 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Diamonds, welcome to my crazy Aquarius mind.

I'm already there.... Believe or not, the weather change has excacerbated my pain and I'm tying to endure it as I was caught up in the opiate syndrome for years, but as a result they trashed my gut and have no more desires for that crap anymore. I really hate to get too much cortisone but it's seems to be the only alternative with the accupunture. I am really being tested at this point.

[diamonds]

Nov 5, 2011 20:39:18 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Ah. Cortisone. BTDT for years due to asthma. How long have you been in acupuncture therapy?

Actually, I love it. I have a gal that takes pulses and works on boosting the immune system. I was going weekly for over a year now. I only went once last month and I really feel the effects of stopping. I have to stick with the cortisone shots as the prednisone makes me too hyper, but cortisone of any kind will lower the immune system. It's a non-ending cycle, isn't it?

[diamonds]

Well, I keep taking breaks frequently and walking around as you may have noticed, by my signing off and on. With pain brings anxiety. Trying to mull it over in my mind and decide which avenue to take.

[diamonds]

Awww...thank you...

[roygrip]

Hope you feel better Diamonds!

[roygrip]

Not feelin' it today. Drunken neighbor singing kareoke at midnite in the backyard. Had to call the cops. There but for the grace of God......

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone

[roygrip]

Nov 7, 2011 12:10:02 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG, . DH and I have undesirable neighbors, too. I refuse to allow their negativity to ruin my freedom here on Earth.

Thanks! Iggy yep, need a good nap, I'll be fine

[roygrip]

Aw much better today! Ready to tackle the world.

[roygrip]

Good nite princes and princesses ;D

[roygrip]

Iggy! I'm so happy for you! Feels good doesn't it?


Well, I'm going thru it. I won't drink or use behind it, but things are unraveling between my wife and I, on going, both our faults. Gotta find a common ground soon.


So close to home, it's hard not to react when you should just be quiet, and let someone be a jerk. I'm taught to rise above, and not react, but.....

[Jake 48]

Hi everyone
RG,