Jokes

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

My sentiments exactly.

[Jaguar]

What Spring ?

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Gotta Love George Carlin:

[NoNamePerson]

GC is one of my all time favorites!!

[NoNamePerson]

[toomuchreality]

Mar 23, 2014 19:15:26 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

New Additions to my Wine Rack:

I want some of those!   ↑ ↑ ↑

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

[toomuchreality]

Apr 1, 2014 23:01:03 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

My BIL drives a snow plow during the winter. I'm sending my sister this, on the outside chance they haven't heard it 1,000 times already.  -I should send it directly to my BIL... Just cuz he's been holding a grudge against me for over 20 years. Now THAT would be funny!





Oh boy! I can't decide if that's a really good idea, or a really bad one. We have a family get together this Saturday...   YIKES!

[CarolinaKat]

Little Johnny goes with his father to a horse auction. He goes though the holding area as his father examines all the horses for sale, feeling theiir chests, legs, and rumps assesing the soundness and muscle tone.

Little Johnny turned to his father and asked "Dad, why do you run your hands all over the horses?"

"Well son, I have to evaluate them before I buy them to make sure I'm buying a good horse." Little Johnny looked stricken at his response.

"What's wrong?" the father asked his son.

"Well..... Dad.... I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"

[NoNamePerson]

Apr 3, 2014 16:27:09 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

Little Johnny goes with his father to a horse auction. He goes though the holding area as his father examines all the horses for sale, feeling theiir chests, legs, and rumps assesing the soundness and muscle tone.

Little Johnny turned to his father and asked "Dad, why do you run your hands all over the horses?"

"Well son, I have to evaluate them before I buy them to make sure I'm buying a good horse." Little Johnny looked stricken at his response.

"What's wrong?" the father asked his son.

"Well..... Dad.... I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"

Little Johnny jokes are my all time favorites!! 

[tigerpause]

Mar 23, 2014 6:03:35 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Mar 22, 2014 5:58:15 GMT -5 tigerpause said:

The truth is better than fiction!
Not sure which one I like most. Every time I think I have decided, I see another one I think I might like better.   I'm quite liking the one about the dark ages, being mostly dark. But then...
After seeing the movie The Titanic, a friend and I were walking to the car. I asked her if she knew the details about The Unsinkable Molly Brown (why they called her that). She told me the story of Moses! 
I burst out laughing, thinking she was kidding. Nope. She stuck to her story.
(true story!)
Gotta wonder where some people get their info., huh?

Too bad Moses wasn't there before the Titanic sunk! He could have parted the waters...

[tigerpause]

I don't think I quoted that right. LOL. ↑

[tigerpause]

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Hijacked from my F/B page:

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[tigerpause]

[tigerpause]

[tigerpause]

[NoNamePerson]

[NoNamePerson]

[uncle23]

........


In the car on the way to school , I told my grand kids that Einstein said that everyone is a genius....

my 6th grader replied..." he must not have heard of me "

[uncle23]

....

As a retired chemical engineer, one of my favorite hobbies is turning wine into urine..

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

If these two were in the opposite seats, it would have been my parents:

[NoNamePerson]