Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 10, 2023 12:12:09 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 11, 2023 12:44:31 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jan 16, 2023 23:24:10 GMT -5
"A teacher told us to do a vocabulary exercise." This is what the kid wrote:
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jan 16, 2023 23:27:27 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 18, 2023 3:30:33 GMT -5
"A teacher told us to do a vocabulary exercise." This is what the kid wrote: The worst thing you can do? excercise! Hahaha It's against my religion. (You wouldn't believe how many people have responded, "Really! What religion are you?") I just laugh.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 23, 2023 17:36:49 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 23, 2023 21:27:37 GMT -5
Forget the sound of church bells. I can't wait for summer and the sound of the ice cream truck!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 24, 2023 18:42:26 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 24, 2023 19:44:09 GMT -5
That’s just plain cruel.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Feb 2, 2023 10:27:13 GMT -5
"A teacher told us to do a vocabulary exercise." This is what the kid wrote: The worst thing you can do? excercise! Hahaha It's against my religion. (You wouldn't believe how many people have responded, "Really! What religion are you?") I just laugh.
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toomuchreality
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2023 11:31:41 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by toomuchreality on Feb 2, 2023 11:31:41 GMT -5
The worst thing you can do? excercise! Hahaha It's against my religion. (You wouldn't believe how many people have responded, "Really! What religion are you?") I just laugh.Oh, my heck! It took me a minute, before I realized what these are! Too cool! I want some! It would be fun, to have shoes that look like your spouse/mate.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 9, 2023 19:52:05 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Jokes
Feb 9, 2023 21:34:14 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on Feb 9, 2023 21:34:14 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 12, 2023 9:41:50 GMT -5
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger. He asked “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.”
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 12, 2023 21:53:22 GMT -5
Forget the sound of church bells. I can't wait for summer and the sound of the ice cream truck! When my brother passed from cancer, he had his care nurse call the ice cream truck he hired to drive by. It was one of his fondest memories of childhood. Maybe his spirit caught a ride!
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Jokes
Feb 12, 2023 21:55:05 GMT -5
Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 12, 2023 21:55:05 GMT -5
Maybe this needs to be it's own thread. What was the first naughty joke or joke you heard as a kid? I don't remember any.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 12, 2023 22:04:14 GMT -5
Maybe this needs to be it's own thread. What was the first naughty joke or joke you heard as a kid? I don't remember any.
I attended Catholic schools and the first school joke I remember hearing was... 'What's black and white, black and black, white and black? A nun falling down the school stairs.'
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NoNamePerson
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Jokes
Feb 16, 2023 11:24:32 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 16, 2023 11:24:32 GMT -5
A very bad day
Here's something to think about the next time you're having a bad day.
This was an article in the CALIFORNIA EXAMINER, March 20, 1998:
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and a face mask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about determining how a fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 miles away from the forest.
The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making out like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a rapid breaststroke in a fire bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 16, 2023 14:32:40 GMT -5
Tech Support Log — Boyfriend Upgrade
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate! First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. At the command line, try entering C:\ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But, remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy-Silence 2.5, Happy-Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create snoringLoudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 9.9.
Regards, Tech Support
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 17, 2023 18:28:05 GMT -5
Ain't this the truth.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Feb 17, 2023 18:42:41 GMT -5
Ain't this the truth. Absolutely true! I hate it! The grocery store I shop at just added more upper shelves too. As if reaching the top shelf wasn't hard enough! Now it's like shopping in a cave, with extremely high shelves! Ugh!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 17, 2023 20:39:25 GMT -5
Dog checking his P-Mail.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 22, 2023 18:28:18 GMT -5
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 5, 2023 10:12:42 GMT -5
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's,and a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. (wait for it) She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 7, 2023 15:44:28 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 9, 2023 12:13:21 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 12, 2023 17:38:57 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 18, 2023 15:57:45 GMT -5
Sorry about the image size. Cannot make it smaller.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 18, 2023 17:58:20 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 19, 2023 2:13:36 GMT -5
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