tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 19, 2023 2:15:09 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 19, 2023 2:16:26 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 21, 2023 18:35:27 GMT -5
OT but I still remember seeing one of Spain’s king in a glass coffin in The Valley of the Fallen. It was a first for me and so far the last.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 22, 2023 14:28:14 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 25, 2023 9:20:55 GMT -5
Last night on my evening walk, I completely lost my mind because ahead of me was a white rabbit sitting upright, waiting for me on my path. I could not believe it.
I took out my phone to take its photo. It didn't move, I wondered if it was an early Easter decoration, but it was too far down on the road and not in front of a home.
I thought -- it's frightened so it's staying still, take it slow. I walked up to it little by little, carefully, so as not to frighten it.
Friends, I just spent a very slow ten minutes walking up to a plastic bag of dog poop.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 25, 2023 17:14:12 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 25, 2023 17:22:03 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 25, 2023 21:16:03 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 28, 2023 12:27:08 GMT -5
After getting all of the Pope’s luggage loaded into the limo – and he doesn’t travel light – the chauffeur notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
“Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the chauffeur, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?”
“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.”
“I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something should happen?” protests the chauffeur. “There might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the chauffeur gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
“Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!” pleads the worried chauffeur, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
“Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license,” moans the chauffeur.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
“I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
“So bust him,” says the Chief.
“I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,” said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,” All the more reason!”
“No, I mean really important,” said the cop.
The Chief then asked, “Who ya got there, the Mayor?”
“Bigger.”
“Governor?” The Chief asked.
“Bigger.”
“Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?”
“I think it’s God!” the cop exclaimed.
“What makes you think that?”
“Well for one thing, he’s got the Pope as a chauffeur.”
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Mar 28, 2023 20:08:05 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 30, 2023 11:10:17 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 2, 2023 21:01:58 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Apr 2, 2023 23:47:50 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Apr 2, 2023 23:48:30 GMT -5
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 3, 2023 6:15:01 GMT -5
Moonshadow is like that for any bag crinkles or when the fridge opens.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 3, 2023 9:43:16 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 3, 2023 9:50:44 GMT -5
In the olden days, it was the whir of an electric can opener which brought the beasts to the kitchen.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 3, 2023 10:15:53 GMT -5
In the olden days, it was the whir of an electric can opener which brought the beasts to the kitchen. No cats but all I had to do was plug in electric knife to get Tiger Dog (5 lb. Chihuahua) to come out of hiding!
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NoNamePerson
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Jokes
Apr 3, 2023 10:28:05 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 3, 2023 10:28:05 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Apr 13, 2023 0:42:53 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Apr 13, 2023 0:44:14 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 13, 2023 15:12:08 GMT -5
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over.. "Nope.
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"
Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" "Nope", she replied. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!" Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, "Should’a bought a hat, Bert. Should’a bought a hat!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 13, 2023 22:50:57 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Apr 14, 2023 2:38:22 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 22, 2023 10:25:10 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 25, 2023 11:44:45 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 26, 2023 21:03:05 GMT -5
I think it has been posted before but what the heck.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 27, 2023 20:35:46 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 2, 2023 10:32:10 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 3, 2023 14:20:37 GMT -5
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