NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 8, 2021 17:13:17 GMT -5
Will not accept keeps deleting. Sorry Tenn your going to have to figure it out
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 8, 2021 17:41:35 GMT -5
Fruit Stand A guy was driving down a long stretch of country highway, when he approached a fruit stand. The sign above read, "We have peaches that taste like anything and everything, guaranteed!" The man thought about it, and decided to stop. He thought this has to be bullshit. So he approaches the old, feeble man behind the stand and says," So, you have peaches that taste like strawberries and cream?" The old man hands him a peach and the driver takes a bite. "Mmmmmm, tastes like strawberries," he says. "Turn it around," the old man says. The driver turns it around, bites into it, and the other side tastes like cream. The man thinks for a second, and says, "How 'bout steak and baked potato?" The old man behind the stand looks for a second, and then comes up with a new peach. He hands it to the weary traveler. He bites into it. "Tastes like steak," he says. "Turn it around," the old man says. "Wow, POTATO!" The traveler thinks really hard for about 2 minutes before he finally blurts out, "O.K. old man, I bet you don't have one that tastes like a feline nickname ( ). The old man produces another peach very quickly and hands it to the driver. He takes a big bite out of it, chews a couple of times, spits it out, and says, "Man, this tastes like SHIT!!" The old man just grins and says, "Turn it around!"
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Oct 8, 2021 20:32:20 GMT -5
Post by gambler on Oct 8, 2021 20:32:20 GMT -5
You got it did not think of a different way. What part of ten are you in going to murphy nc in a week, looked for land there but was too steep
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Tennesseer
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Oct 8, 2021 21:38:56 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Oct 8, 2021 21:38:56 GMT -5
You got it did not think of a different way. What part of ten are you in going to murphy nc in a week, looked for land there but was too steep Extreme southwest in Memphis/Shelby County.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 8, 2021 22:30:23 GMT -5
You got it did not think of a different way. What part of ten are you in going to murphy nc in a week, looked for land there but was too steep Extreme southwest in Memphis/Shelby County. Well done!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 9, 2021 10:52:59 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 9, 2021 20:43:13 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 13, 2021 8:10:05 GMT -5
No relation to the women's movement
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 13, 2021 8:11:12 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 13, 2021 8:13:28 GMT -5
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Oct 14, 2021 5:20:49 GMT -5
Mary and John, in bed at night. M: I’m cold! J: Put another blanket on. M: I did, I’m still cold. J: So what do you want me to do? M: When mom was saying she’s cold at night, dad would get her in his arms and she’d warm up! J: You crazy! Where could I find your father at this time of night?
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 14, 2021 14:23:28 GMT -5
LOL 🤣
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 30, 2021 12:53:59 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 31, 2021 8:15:28 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 31, 2021 8:16:44 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 1, 2021 22:18:33 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 2, 2021 6:49:13 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 2, 2021 7:06:29 GMT -5
Thanks. Now got to get rid of ear worm.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 2, 2021 7:13:21 GMT -5
The Queen ear worm or the theme song ear worm? ..oops. If that makes two ear worms now you have one for each ear.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 2, 2021 7:41:22 GMT -5
The Queen ear worm or the theme song ear worm? ..oops. If that makes two ear worms now you have one for each ear. I am going to hunt you down.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 3, 2021 6:46:59 GMT -5
I have an "eary" feeling you mean it too
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 3, 2021 6:47:32 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 3, 2021 17:03:42 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 3, 2021 17:14:19 GMT -5
A groaner.
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Post by gambler on Nov 9, 2021 20:51:22 GMT -5
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat....
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
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gambler
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Post by gambler on Nov 10, 2021 11:24:32 GMT -5
Pizza
Hello! Is this Gino's Pizza? No sir - it's Google Pizza. I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. No sir - Google bought Gino's Pizza last month. OK. I would like to order a pizza. Do you want your usual, sir? My usual - you know me? According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses - sausage - pepperoni - mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust. OK - that's what I want . May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta - arugula - sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust? What? I detest vegetables. Your cholesterol is not good, sir. How the hell do you know? Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago. I bought more from another drugstore That doesn't show on your credit card statement. I paid in cash.. But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. I have other sources of cash. That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. WHAT THE HECK? ! ! ! ! I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google - Facebook - Twitter - WhatsApp and all the others!! I'm going to an island without internet - cable TV - where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !! I understand sir - but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago
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NoNamePerson
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Nov 10, 2021 11:54:03 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 10, 2021 11:54:03 GMT -5
Pizza Hello! Is this Gino's Pizza? No sir - it's Google Pizza. I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. No sir - Google bought Gino's Pizza last month. OK. I would like to order a pizza. Do you want your usual, sir? My usual - you know me? According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses - sausage - pepperoni - mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust. OK - that's what I want . May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta - arugula - sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust? What? I detest vegetables. Your cholesterol is not good, sir. How the hell do you know? Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago. I bought more from another drugstore That doesn't show on your credit card statement. I paid in cash.. But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. I have other sources of cash. That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. WHAT THE HECK? ! ! ! ! I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google - Facebook - Twitter - WhatsApp and all the others!! I'm going to an island without internet - cable TV - where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !! I understand sir - but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago But damn near true.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 28, 2021 2:32:10 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 28, 2021 2:33:13 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Nov 28, 2021 14:10:30 GMT -5
This was actually pretty good, I thought.
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