Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 20, 2021 12:20:11 GMT -5
Before he died, Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver .
"You know," he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Be my guest!" Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving.
He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law, but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that." The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 20, 2021 12:25:24 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 20, 2021 12:27:43 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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May 20, 2021 19:15:41 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on May 20, 2021 19:15:41 GMT -5
Good Tenn 😁
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gambler
Well-Known Member
"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by gambler on May 29, 2021 18:32:50 GMT -5
Cheap Bastard
A waitress at a diner gives a man his check. As he gets up to leave, he puts down the amount for the check plus three cents for the tip. The waitress notices this and approaches him before he leaves. Waitress: You know, I can tell a lot about a person by each of the coins that are left. Man: Okay, what do these pennies tell you about me? Waitress: This first one tells me that you are very thrifty. Man: Hmm. Yes, that's true. Go on. Waitress: This second one tells me that you are not married. Man: Yes, that's true too. Waitress: And this last one tells me that your mother wasn't married either.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 30, 2021 16:53:19 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 30, 2021 17:02:10 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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May 30, 2021 17:05:09 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on May 30, 2021 17:05:09 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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May 30, 2021 19:19:18 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on May 30, 2021 19:19:18 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 30, 2021 19:21:11 GMT -5
Tenn- You've been on a roll lately! Hahahaha 😆😆😆
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Tennesseer
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May 30, 2021 19:57:27 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on May 30, 2021 19:57:27 GMT -5
Tenn- You've been on a roll lately! Hahahaha 😆😆😆 I posted the most recent ones from my desktop PC. And I only go on the desktop about twice a month. So they get saved up. Harder to post on my tablet which I use about 98% of the time.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 30, 2021 22:11:27 GMT -5
Tenn- You've been on a roll lately! Hahahaha 😆😆😆 I posted the most recent ones from my desktop PC. And I only go on the desktop about twice a month. So they get saved up. Harder to post on my tablet which I use about 98% of the time. I get it. I used to be on my desktop 99% of the time. Now I'm on my phone 99% of the time, so I don't post many images, or the emoticons from the board, anymore.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 1:16:53 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 1:18:21 GMT -5
wut
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 1:19:59 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 1:21:16 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 1:22:19 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 31, 2021 2:37:31 GMT -5
😆😆😆 All good! 😆😆😆
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tigerpause
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May 31, 2021 18:46:02 GMT -5
Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 18:46:02 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 31, 2021 19:07:04 GMT -5
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell.
Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 31, 2021 20:59:23 GMT -5
😁😁😁
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Post by gambler on Jun 2, 2021 15:40:15 GMT -5
Prison
A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail. As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes: - "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?" And the husband replies: "Well, my love, what are you going to do?" "Oh, Roger ...! I spoke to the judge handling your case," "And what did he say, my love?" "He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year ..." "What !!! What a miserable bastard and what did you say to that son of a bitch? " " Oh, Roger! We'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, let's go… !!! "
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toomuchreality
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Jun 2, 2021 23:25:41 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 2, 2021 23:25:41 GMT -5
Prison A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail. As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes: - "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?" And the husband replies: "Well, my love, what are you going to do?" "Oh, Roger ...! I spoke to the judge handling your case," "And what did he say, my love?" "He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year ..." "What !!! What a miserable bastard and what did you say to that son of a bitch? " " Oh, Roger! We'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, let's go… !!! " 🤣🤣🤣
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by gambler on Jun 5, 2021 10:26:39 GMT -5
Joe Biden
announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.
Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.
The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.
Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. "We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all"
The Irish President replied: "Well, if you guys aren't giving out beer, then neither am I."
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 7, 2021 14:07:12 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 7, 2021 14:10:08 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 7, 2021 14:11:19 GMT -5
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uncle23
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Post by uncle23 on Jun 12, 2021 17:55:52 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Jun 12, 2021 18:13:35 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 12, 2021 18:13:35 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Jun 14, 2021 16:40:15 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Jun 14, 2021 16:40:15 GMT -5
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