Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 63,690
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 24, 2017 0:52:45 GMT -5
When cutting bagels in half, put your finger through the stabilization hole to keep it steady.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Nov 24, 2017 8:02:30 GMT -5
BLACK FRIDAY....because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.......
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Nov 25, 2017 6:51:09 GMT -5
Hey! Wyoming has something in common with Texas!!! In both states a "wild elf" is known as..........Gnome on the range!!
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 25, 2017 8:01:57 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 25, 2017 8:04:03 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
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Post by tigerpause on Nov 25, 2017 8:07:33 GMT -5
Nice kitty...
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Nov 27, 2017 7:50:55 GMT -5
What's the difference between snowmen and snow ladies?...............snowballs.......
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 2, 2017 1:06:14 GMT -5
Nice kitty... DD2 has 2 cats. Cat1 ALWAYS looks like the above picture (or worse) and hates everyone and everything, except DD2. Seriously scary. Cat2 is the nicest, sweetest, mellow cat ever and loves everyone. Go figure!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 2, 2017 19:43:00 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 2, 2017 19:46:18 GMT -5
LMAO I guess I either REALLY liked that, or I REALLY wanted to be sure you saw it! bwahahaha
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 4, 2017 6:30:54 GMT -5
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift a friend of his said; "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles?" "She did" replied the guy, "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"..............
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 6, 2017 16:34:57 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 6, 2017 16:39:28 GMT -5
Canadian outhouse ^^^
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 6, 2017 16:42:54 GMT -5
I'm kind of outdoorsy but not this much.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 7, 2017 23:15:34 GMT -5
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sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
Posts: 6,268
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Jokes
Dec 9, 2017 11:11:33 GMT -5
Post by sesfw on Dec 9, 2017 11:11:33 GMT -5
hilarious .............
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 11, 2017 5:13:52 GMT -5
A little girl climbed onto to Santa's lap, and Santa asked her the usual; "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped; "Didn't you get my email?"
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 11, 2017 17:56:48 GMT -5
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 12, 2017 10:59:51 GMT -5
This email recently released between an ICE agent and Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms: "Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernable income, and flies to cities all over the world under the cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?...........
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 12, 2017 22:25:11 GMT -5
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 13, 2017 10:27:08 GMT -5
It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and I was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously and being slightly tired, I was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check my luggage (which for some reason had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes) I saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, I said to the attendant, "even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe." " Sir," she replied, "Look more closely at where the mistletoe is." "OK," I said, "I see that it is above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward to for a kiss." "That is why it is there." said the attendant. "OK," I replied, "I give up. Why is it there?" "It's there", she said, "So you can kiss your luggage goodbye."................
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,978
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 14, 2017 2:19:49 GMT -5
Tree is up! How is it, I've never seen this, until tonight?!
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,802
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 14, 2017 9:00:55 GMT -5
Tree is up! How is it, I've never seen this, until tonight?!
First time seeing it also!! Thanks for posting.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 14, 2017 11:28:10 GMT -5
What' green, covered in tinsel, and goes "ribbit, ribbit?".......................Mistle Toad!!
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 14, 2017 16:24:13 GMT -5
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 1, 2024 23:05:51 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2017 4:53:49 GMT -5
Dear Santa, Please hear my prayer... I don't want anything for myself... Could you just bring some clothes for all those ladies on Daddy's computer? It's winter and they have to be cold with not wearing any and stuff...
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 17, 2017 16:45:30 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 63,690
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 17, 2017 18:20:18 GMT -5
What' green, covered in tinsel, and goes "ribbit, ribbit?".......................Mistle Toad!! An old Catholic grammar school kid joke: What's black and white, white and black, black and white, black and white, and white and black? A nun tumbling down the school stairs.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Dec 17, 2017 18:38:18 GMT -5
What' green, covered in tinsel, and goes "ribbit, ribbit?".......................Mistle Toad!! An old Catholic grammar school kid joke: What's black and white, white and black, black and white, black and white, and white and black? A nun tumbling down the school stairs. That's classic Tenn!!
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 17, 2017 19:49:51 GMT -5
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