kept woman

[Deleted]

de nada ;D

[The J]

Jan 7, 2011 12:34:22 GMT -5 @jennml said:

Jan 7, 2011 11:45:26 GMT -5 The J said:

Personally, I don't want a kept woman, but I've known a few guys that do.

Contact info., credit reports, and head shots would be appreciated...you know, in case some of us want to try out the whole "kept" woman thing

Not quite the people I've kept in contact with -- they've moved into social circles I can't get past the velvet rope for

Besides, right now I'm more focused on hooking up myself

[Opti]

Jan 7, 2011 12:34:22 GMT -5 @jennml said:

Jan 7, 2011 11:45:26 GMT -5 The J said:

Personally, I don't want a kept woman, but I've known a few guys that do.

Contact info., credit reports, and head shots would be appreciated...you know, in case some of us want to try out the whole "kept" woman thing

Hmmmmmm. Maybe I should consider this if I can't find a job soon.

[Opti]

Jan 7, 2011 14:00:56 GMT -5 The J said:

Jan 7, 2011 12:34:22 GMT -5 @jennml said:

Contact info., credit reports, and head shots would be appreciated...you know, in case some of us want to try out the whole "kept" woman thing

Not quite the people I've kept in contact with -- they've moved into social circles I can't get past the velvet rope for

Besides, right now I'm more focused on hooking up myself

Ah. I almost added to my other post I've met women married to richer
men and its not always an easy life. You get sent off to the spa not for
yourself but hubby thinks you need to lose those three pounds quicker.
I realized I was too ornery/independent to ever want to be controlled like that apparent perks or not.

[whoisjohngalt]

Working is highly over-rated. Every night I go to bed thinking about all the TLC shows I could have watched and all the message boards and blogs I could have read if it wasn't for that house-cleaning, cooking and child-care thing I have to do

Lena

[jennml]

Jan 7, 2011 14:00:56 GMT -5 The J said:

Jan 7, 2011 12:34:22 GMT -5 @jennml said:

Contact info., credit reports, and head shots would be appreciated...you know, in case some of us want to try out the whole "kept" woman thing

Not quite the people I've kept in contact with -- they've moved into social circles I can't get past the velvet rope for

Besides, right now I'm more focused on hooking up myself

Aren't we all... Plus I'm too opinionated and enamoured of power.

Who wants to be a "kept" man??? LOL (But you gotta put out when I say. None of this headache crap)

[thyme4change]

I often wonder about the "deals" that some husbands and wives have. I know there are plenty of places were infidelity on the mans part is acceptable, as long as the credit cards still work. I've seen other situations where men are exceedingly difficult to live with, but the financial perks of treating him well through all his bull-crap are substantial. And, of course, the working. I know lots and lots of lawyers who work ridiculous amounts of time - never able to schedule personal life activities, and their wives just roll with it. Their attitude is "If he shows up, great, otherwise, we go without him." That seems to run the gambit from going out to dinner all the way to vacations. And the women don't even seem to ask any questions.

Frankly, those scenarios don't really appeal to me that much. I'd much rather be with my very nice husband than not spend any time with a tyrant who pays my bills. Probably because I'm not much of a "girls night out" person - so I would be lonely. But, that is just me.

[pushingit]

Jan 7, 2011 10:54:47 GMT -5 @daennera said:

And yes, there are men who would prefer if they could "keep" a woman. I believe I know more men who would prefer that their women were independent and equal contributors to their household, but I do know a few who think it would be great to have their partner at home.

My husband would prefer to have a stay at home wife. I stayed at home for a while when the kids where babies, and he didn't like it one bit when I went back to work.

He wanted me to be home when the kids came home from school and be available to run his errands and have more time to keep the house cleaner and cook better meals.

By the nature of his job scheduling vacation time is difficult, but he gets time off between projects and liked it when he could call me on Tuesday and say "Pack a bag, we're going away." Now with me working, I can't always get off when he is.

We have become used to the extra income, although we were smart enough not to put ourselves into a position to need it all, we save a lot more and we spend a lot of it on extras and wants.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"Working for a living sucks, but depending completely on someone else for your livelihood sucks even worse, IMHO. I'll take the commute and hassles of working, thanks. ":::...

I know you would swamp, and so would most people here. I would too. I can totally understand someone choosing the opposite though, especially if the breadwinner is pretty well funded.

...:::"I've met women married to richer men and its not always an easy life. You get sent off to the spa not for yourself but hubby thinks you need to lose those three pounds quicker.":::...

A very fair point. Maybe you are obligated to squeeze into a size 2 black cocktail dress every night and look good hanging on his arm at party after party while he has to listen to boring clients blather on and on, and you have to watch the drinks and hors d'oeuvres go by knowing you can't eat them or else you won't fit into the dress.

Perhaps there really is love in the relationship, and you never see your husband because he always has to attend a last minute board meeting or dinner or whatever and cancels date after date with you.

For the ones that came from humble beginnings and made it big, maybe your kids turn out to be spoiled entitled brats who have endless wants but no work ethic.

You don't have to be super wealthy either to get in too deep with it. As was said, after too long out of the workforce, you can't expect to get a very good job going back in.

[pushingit]

And btw, I told my husband I would go back to being his personal assistant and fill-time mother to his children and housekeeper, just as soon as he could afford to pay me my current salary, including benefits and 401K match. He laughed out loud!

[telephus44]

reminds me of one of my favorite sayings - a man is not a financial plan.

[Deleted]

My mom stopped working long before my stepfather retired, he had one of those rotating schedules and liked her home when he was off. I'm not sure of all their agreement, but i know she did most of the housework/cooking... and yes, she does get a nice allowance... or she would not have quit working. He is retired now as well, but when she mentioned last year that maybe she'd get a job part time, he doubled her allowance if she didn't... so she didn't...

[redtigress]

So for all the kept women (and men) out there, I wonder if they panicked when the economy started to go bad? Maybe their person who is keeping them will soon no longer be able to? The risk of being kept I guess.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

<<<"Kept" woman (my definition) - a woman who does not work in or outside the home.>>>

[kinetickid]

[/quote]

My husband would prefer to have a stay at home wife. I stayed at home for a while when the kids where babies, and he didn't like it one bit when I went back to work.

He wanted me to be home when the kids came home from school and be available to run his errands and have more time to keep the house cleaner and cook better meals.

[/quote]

That's my husband, too.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2011 12:33:00 GMT -5 @greeneyedchicka said:

Jan 7, 2011 12:06:42 GMT -5 @tea4me said:

I think it is. Why did your ex marry her? Why should he take care of someone else's kids? Doesn't that make him bitter?

He shouldn't have to take care of someone else's kids, but she feels that he does. They each have a father that provides child support, so there is technically no need. It is just her mindset. He is a little bitter and battles with himself constantly about what he should and shouldn't be doing.

I wonder if your ex married my cousin...she is a horrible gold digger. When she was on the dating sights she put down income requirements for the guys she was willing to date. She refused to date anyone who did not make at least 6 figures. She has 2 kids by 2 different men (well actually 3 by 3 men, but she doesn't have custody of the first and refuses to admit he exists)

[Deleted]

I know a few men that would like a kept woman and it all depends in the business you are in. They tend to entertain alot, have to take the wife out for company dinners/black tie events/ etc. and to them their wife represent them.

So it is important that she looks the part and they are quite aware that they are just a walking wallet to their wives and have no problem with that. The same I am sure their wives are quite aware that they are just trophy wives and they play the part.

Everyone is happy! I don't make enough to have a kept woman

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"He wanted me to be home when the kids came home from school and be available to run his errands and have more time to keep the house cleaner and cook better meals.":::...

I'm curious. In this situation, does anyone feel that the "kept" [woman in this case] gets nothing? Sticking strictly to the quote above, the kept spouse is cooking meals and doing errands. But if the kids are at school, then it sounds like she has some free time. Although no mention is made of an allowance, surely there are funds for the kept spouses enjoyment.

DF's best friend is very much in favor of being a SAHW after having experienced a smoother and more simple home life. The "do his chores" and "cook his meals" (I hate when ownership is manipulated in this manner to imply guilt) things meant that when the husband came home from working, there was no need to bicker over who did what. The husband didn't feel attacked with the honey-do list after working a full day already.

It may not be for everyone, but I can see logistically how it could work out very well. DF and I have had our share of bickering over coming home tired and not wanting to do anything, or wrestling with the temptation to eat out rather than face another night of cooking and cleaning up.

[pushingit]

Jan 7, 2011 21:04:11 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

...:::"He wanted me to be home when the kids came home from school and be available to run his errands and have more time to keep the house cleaner and cook better meals.":::...

I'm curious. In this situation, does anyone feel that the "kept" [woman in this case] gets nothing? Sticking strictly to the quote above, the kept spouse is cooking meals and doing errands. But if the kids are at school, then it sounds like she has some free time. Although no mention is made of an allowance, surely there are funds for the kept spouses enjoyment.

DF's best friend is very much in favor of being a SAHW after having experienced a smoother and more simple home life. The "do his chores" and "cook his meals" (I hate when ownership is manipulated in this manner to imply guilt) things meant that when the husband came home from working, there was no need to bicker over who did what. The husband didn't feel attacked with the honey-do list after working a full day already.

It may not be for everyone, but I can see logistically how it could work out very well. DF and I have had our share of bickering over coming home tired and not wanting to do anything, or wrestling with the temptation to eat out rather than face another night of cooking and cleaning up.

when I said "do his errands." I meant just that. Things he should and could do himself and does now because I don't have time, like make his own doctor's appointments, got to he bank to get him cash because he hates a wallet full of 20's out of the ATM, run clear out to Gander Mountain to pick up some targets. All things that are on his list of things to do tomorrow morning because he no longer has a personal assistant to do it for him.

And as far as an allowance goes, haha . . . when I was staying home we had enough to pay the bills, put food in the table and ok we weren't in rags, but I didn't have extra to just spend how I wanted. I wasn't paid, I was supported, yes, but I didn't have much discretionary income.

I am grateful that my husband made enough to allow me to be home with the kids when they were babies. That time was important to me and them. But he did get spoiled with me doing EVERYTHING and it did wear on me and our relationship.

And it still rears it's head when he can't find time to do his stuff and tries to put the blame on me for going back to work and "not caring" about his stuff. It's not a care thing. It's a time thing and I'm not your secretary, so call and make your own damn dentist appointment. TYVM.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I am grateful that my husband made enough to allow me to be home with the kids when they were babies.":::...

This is a big difference, yes. The situations I'm referencing, there are no kids involved.

It came up earlier in this thread that one of the things a kept spouse gains in the trade is that he/she does not have to go to work. Although the idea of sustaining oneself is preferable to most here, the logistical minutae of getting up early, primping, commuting, working, then coming home late in the day are very unappealing.

I don't think I make enough to let DF stay at home AND for us to do/have the things we want to have. The numbers just don't allow someone who is perfectly capable of contributing quite well to just chill at home.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2011 18:02:21 GMT -5 @angel33 said:

Jan 7, 2011 12:33:00 GMT -5 @greeneyedchicka said:

He shouldn't have to take care of someone else's kids, but she feels that he does. They each have a father that provides child support, so there is technically no need. It is just her mindset. He is a little bitter and battles with himself constantly about what he should and shouldn't be doing.

I wonder if your ex married my cousin...she is a horrible gold digger. When she was on the dating sights she put down income requirements for the guys she was willing to date. She refused to date anyone who did not make at least 6 figures. She has 2 kids by 2 different men (well actually 3 by 3 men, but she doesn't have custody of the first and refuses to admit he exists)

And here I was wondering if ya'll had been spying on my life the past four years. My ex roomie is like this. Demanding her hubby get a job and take care of her and her 2 kids (different dads). Course now she's pregnant with his child, and he's in jail. They are split (they go through on again off again faster than red/green lights) and she's living with family.

I know it's sooo wrong of me to laugh at the fact that she can't be kept, but I'm glad karma is goming back to her. If only it worked as fast as she does.

[Deleted]

I don't even want to get in the middle of this, but no a stay at home mom doesn't count as a 'kept woman' lol

But YES there are lots of women at all different ages that are happy to let a man pay all their expenses, there are plenty of men who are happy to not work and let the women pay all their expenses too.

[greyscience5]

The idea of a "kept woman" is crazy to me. Not to say that I don't know a few friends that have chosen this route. I just can't imagine ever feeling secure if I was depending on someone else.

[justwhoever]

An ex-friend of mine wanted to be a kept woman. She was always b!tching about her husband not taking her out to eat on pay day. Most of the time it was either go out to eat or him be able to buy your smokes. And he said you pick. After a few months of her always going on about money I finally told her...there's no reason why you can't go out and get a job. It was soon after that she left.....she thought she found some guy who would allow her to be kept. lol didn't work out so well for her though.

[greyscience5]

LOL. I don't think she was a kept woman if she had to choose between cigs and dinner.

[justwhoever]

I don't think she was either. But that's what she wanted. Still wants as far as I know. She also claimed "abuse" because she didn't get money to spend as she wished. LOL

[Poppet]

My definition of a truly kept woman is an abused one who is denied the choice to live her life as she wants.

A kept woman does what she does (either work or stay home) not because she wants to but because someone is making her.

Now there are other more playful and sexy definitions of a KW but I am thinking on the more serious side of the definition.

[Poppet]

I just can't imagine ever feeling secure if I was depending on someone else


I felt this way too until I realized that if you hold a job you're dependent upon your employer to keep you employed.

If you run your own business, you're dependent on customers, clients etc. and remaining competitive and a bunch of other factors that I am too lazy to think of right now.

We all rely more or less on others.

You relying on Social Security? A pension? The Roth IRAs rules NOT to change? Your stock investments to go up over time?

We're all "kept women" aint we?

[kinetickid]

Jan 7, 2011 22:57:29 GMT -5 Poppet said:

If you run your own business, you're dependent on customers, clients etc. and remaining competitive and a bunch of other factors that I am too lazy to think of right now.

We all rely more or less on others.

You relying on Social Security? A pension? The Roth IRAs rules NOT to change? Your stock investments to go up over time?

We're all "kept women" aint we?

Agreed.

Of course, this is the argument in favor of diverse investments. If a non-working woman doesn't diversify her "portfolio," if she doesn't have her own savings, retirement plan, social security credits, and ability to earn her own money--even if she doesn't use that ability currently--then she's COMPLETELY dependent on her man, which puts her at high risk for significant financial loss.

[formerexpat]

Of course, this is the argument in favor of diverse investments. If a non-working woman doesn't diversify her "portfolio," if she doesn't have her own savings, retirement plan, social security credits, and ability to earn her own money--even if she doesn't use that ability currently--then she's COMPLETELY dependent on her man, which puts her at high risk for significant financial loss.

[/size]

Not really. The courts treat the women much better than men. The woman can easily get more than 50pc of the assets and alimony in most cases [1 yr for 3yrs of marriage in PA, for example].

A woman can claim SS on their ex husband too.

BTW, I'm glad to see you over here.