Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

GusitaRenkr
Message #15049 - 12/23/10 04:57 PM

Good luck Guista and Regina!

Guista - I gained 36lbs total, most of that in the last few weeks.  I was overweight to begin with and was recommended to gain 15-25 lbs.  I kept telling the dr and nurses at the end that it was water weight and they said "that is what they all say".  I was swelling so much that I got stretch marks on my lower legs!  I lost 30 lbs in the first 2 weeks, mostly through peeing.  I thought I would sweat it out because A was born on July 23 and it was a HOT summer, and I am freakishly hot natured, but that wasn't the case   Good luck again!

Thanks JMRS! I have been so HOT this winter, and I am normally cold natured. I would much rather pee it out than sweat it out.  I literally have not worn a coat once this winter because I am just so hot all the dang time. Our heating bills have gone down dramatically this winter.  My mom says its payback for when I would crank the heat up because I was freezing when she was going through menopause and having hot flashes all the time. 

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regina24601
Message #15050 - 12/23/10 05:04 PM

alpha - Sign me up for your experience, please!!  I hope if I do go past my due date and have to be induced that it goes like your birth did.

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Momma x3-soon to be 4
Message #15051 - 12/23/10 05:11 PM

I will agree that being induced is no fun.  DD1 was induced at 41 weeks and it was not a very pleasant experience.  I didn't need a c-section, but I must say, don't be afraid to get an epidural!  DD2 & 3 were both right about on time, spontaneous labor without pain meds.  Way different experience than with #1.  Of course, that was what we were hoping for.  

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GusitaRenkr
Message #15052 - 12/23/10 05:18 PM

I will agree that being induced is no fun.  DD1 was induced at 41 weeks and it was not a very pleasant experience.  I didn't need a c-section, but I must say, don't be afraid to get an epidural!  DD2 & 3 were both right about on time, spontaneous labor without pain meds.  Way different experience than with #1.  Of course, that was what we were hoping for.

No worries Mommax3! No epidural fears/reservations here. I had to give myself shots when I was a kid for a good five years or so, so needles don't faze me.

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15053 - 12/23/10 06:16 PM

I still have 4 hours left to go.......................

Anyone else around here?  I am about to kill the battery on my phone by playing solitare & playing on FB .  There are maybe 30 people in the entire building today, when there's normally about 300.  Its too quiet & lonely here!

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regina24601
Message #15054 - 12/23/10 06:36 PM

I'm here, too, Sam.  There are about a dozen of us on a floor where there are usually 60 or so people working.  Very boring.

[Virgil Showlion]

poohbiscit
Message #15055 - 12/23/10 06:43 PM

I have 15  minutes left and it can't come soon enough. To make matters work the CFO technically gave me the OK to go home @ 1 but where my boss is still here I'm not comfortable leaving for fear he will come over looking for me.

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15056 - 12/23/10 06:46 PM

Pooh - that stinks!  My boss is gone, and so is her boss.  Honestly, I could probably sneak out now & no one would know.  But I just can't bring myself to do it.

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boos_mom
Message #15057 - 12/23/10 06:48 PM



alpha - glad your induction went so well!  Wow, that's a big baby! 

gusita & regina -- hang in there!

gusita - I'm surprised they moved your DD, since it's not varying by more than a week between the two dates.  Of course, mine was reversed, the later u/s showed the DD to be a few days earlier. 

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MuttleynFelix
Message #15058 - 12/23/10 07:31 PM



I'm here. I'm expecting my boss to call around 3 or 4 and tell us to go home. 

My induction wasn't bad, but I think only because I waited so long.  It definately was not what I had hoped for. 

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red_wagon
Message #15059 - 12/23/10 08:25 PM

I was 10.5 pounds when I was born, and I'm pretty sure I was not a C-section baby. My mom was t.icked because her doctor told her I'd be smaller than my brother was (around 8lbs). But I was a week late and grew a lot, I guess!

I've decided I'm going to leave 15 mintues early. That's as rebellious as I can get. Although no one would notice, honestly. I could have just not come back from lunch... only two people on my floor today.

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jmrs318
Message #15060 - 12/23/10 09:17 PM

I'm still at work, everyone else in our office was allowed to leave at 2pm.  It is my turn to stay the day before a holiday and cover the office until 4pm in case something happens.  I work in IT so someone is supposed to available between 8-5. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15061 - 12/23/10 09:21 PM

Time to start smacking my head against a wall.  Of course, the one person who is actually here today is the one that drives me absolutely up a wall!!!    I don't care if I am the only one here - STOP CALLING ME & EMAILING ME EVERY 10 MINUTES!!

Hmm....wonder if I can sneak out in a couple minutes....

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jmrs318
Message #15062 - 12/23/10 09:24 PM

I was induced at 38 weeks due to swelling and I started spilling proteins.  I was very fortunate that it was a very easy experience for me, but I did prepare myself for the worst.  I went into the hospital at 8:30 pm and they started me on cervadil.  The nurse kept checking on my pain levels because I was apparently having contractions and I didn't feel them at all.  I saw myself as lucky that I got induced because I would've been one of those ladies that delivers the baby in the car because I didn't know I was in labor At 7am they started the pitocin and broke my waters around 9am.  I had my epidural around 10am and was fully dilated at 12:05pm.  I pushed 3 times and A was born at 12:09pm.  It was so surreal and so fast and painless.  

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GusitaRenkr
Message #15063 - 12/23/10 10:06 PM

I was here, then I decided to lay down for a 'short nap' that turned into a 4 hour nap. Oops!

gusita - I'm surprised they moved your DD, since it's not varying by more than a week between the two dates.  Of course, mine was reversed, the later u/s showed the DD to be a few days earlier. 

Yeah, based off my last period (which I am positive of), my due date was 1/7. Then they did the dating ultrasound and moved it to 1/13. When they heard the heartbeat very easily at my 10 week appt., they talked about moving it back to 1/7, but never did. At my anatomy ultrasound, they still talked about moving it back to 1/7, but never did.

I've been so lazy today. I managed to make it to my doctor's appointment, do a smidge of cleaning, and take a nap. I think I've done about 10 minutes of work today. Oh well, I can make up for it tonight when DH goes to bed.

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GusitaRenkr
Message #15064 - 12/23/10 10:13 PM

  I pushed 3 times and A was born at 12:09pm.  It was so surreal and so fast and painless.  

JMRS-Wow, A was born very quick! I hope my experience is like yours and Alphayankees if I do wind up being induced.

I'm just waiting on DH to get home now. We're going out for wings tonight (Yum!), and swinging by the grocery store to get some goodies for some Christmas get togethers tomorrow and Sat.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15065 - 12/24/10 01:58 AM

Hi Ladies! Olivia had her 9 month WBV yesterday. She weighed in at 18 lbs 11 lbs. But I don't thing they measured her correctly because they said she was only 26 and a quarter inches. She was 26 inches at the end of September and I can tell she's gotten much taller since then. I love her new doctor though. I don't really care for the nurses, but since I like the doctor and it's super close to my house I guess I can live with the nurses. Maybe we just caught them on a bad day. She didn't have to get any shots. I was really surprised because her previous doc said she would be getting her Hep B shot again at the 9 month visit. But this office said no shots til 12 months. So that was good. But she has another ear infection. This is her 3rd.  More antibiotics and they are giving her a TERRIBLE butt rash. I'm slathering on the cream but just in a matter of a couple hours I could tell it got worse. I hope it's better in the morning.

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #15066 - 12/24/10 05:40 AM

Hey, ladies.  Just popping in to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!  I hope that everyone who is traveling has a safe trip, and those ladies that are near the end get their babies for Christmas, or soon after! 

[Virgil Showlion]

jos s.
Message #15067 - 12/24/10 08:28 AM

Merry Christmas to all of you

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15068 - 12/24/10 02:25 PM

Hope all you ladies have a safe and happy holiday weekend.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15069 - 12/24/10 02:59 PM

Morning girls! I took yesterday off of work to get some last minute shopping and planning done, which was great. DH is also off right now. I had my 31 week checkup yesterday. I am at a net weight gain of -1 pound, and DS is active and sounding healthy. Doctor said I will probably continue on the terbutaline meds until about 35 weeks, then they won't care if my contractions continue and labor begins, especially since DS is measuring ahead of schedule size wise. I will have an ultrasound at that time to estimate his size before I am taken off the meds. It's crazy to think that he could be here in as little as 4 weeks!

DH started painting the nursery. Only a little bit more to finish, then we will move the furniture in. It's so exciting! We also met with a potential pediatrician practice yesterday, and I really liked them. I think it will be a good fit for us.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas - sending my best to each of you!

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Momma x3-soon to be 4
Message #15070 - 12/24/10 03:26 PM

gardenergirl what kind of diaper rash cream do you use?  I've had good luck with Super Duper Diaper Doo.  It's kind of hard to find, but most pharmacies can order it for you.  It's a thick ointment, kind of like vaseline, but I've found it to work better than the regular creamy ones (like Desitin or even Bordeaux's Butt paste) at preventing diaper rash.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15071 - 12/24/10 04:13 PM

I've been using a combo of Lotrimin for the yeast infection (was told by her previous doc that the red bumps = yeast infection) plus boudreux's. I know it's from the antibiotic she's on. I feel so bad it looks like it hurts and it must because she flinches when we clean her up. Not sure how she is going to be able 10 days of this. That's how long she is supposed to take the antibiotic.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15072 - 12/24/10 04:56 PM

insurance - how wonderful that you are thisclose!!! Glad to hear that all is well.

[Virgil Showlion]

regina24601
Message #15073 - 12/24/10 07:09 PM



gardenergirl - I hope Olivia gets to feeling better!  Poor thing...

insurance - Take care of yourself and keep that baby cooking for as long as possible!  Sounds like you're doing great!

Merry Christmas everyone!  I have about another hour here then I'm packing up for the weekend, but I'll be back at work Monday.  Stay safe on the slick roads!

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kjsh
Message #15074 - 12/24/10 10:06 PM



Hi everyone.  Just popping in to say Merry Christmas Eve and an early Merry Christmas!

BabyH shows no signs of coming on his due date (12/25) which is okay - I'd really like for him to have his own day.  Plus my OB doesn't get back into town until Sunday night, so I'm very okay with him staying put until Monday or Tuesday - I just hope he gets motivated early in the week so DH can spend as much time home with us as possible (he goes back to work the 2nd week of January).

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ladyki
Message #15075 - 12/24/10 11:26 PM



Hello,

 

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Hope you all have a great day in the company of your lover ones.

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GusitaRenkr
Message #15076 - 12/25/10 09:45 PM

Merry Christmas ladies! We got treated to a white Christmas this year. The snow started at 11:00 AM, and we are expected to get between 6-8 inches, which is HUGE for us in the south. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! All of our get togethers went well, and now DH and I are at home relaxing and enjoying our new 'toys.'

KJSH-I hope baby H cooperates for you so your DH will get as much time as possible with him!

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ElfQ1015
Message #15077 - 12/26/10 12:43 AM

Gwen gave me the best Christmas present, she rolled over onto her stomach on Christmas Eve!!  First two times I missed it and just found her on her stomach.  Third time I was going to sit there till the cows came home and she did it right in front of me!

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eh230
Message #15078 - 12/26/10 02:20 AM



Merry X-mas everyone!

 

Gardengirl, have you thought about giving Olivia a probiotic while she is on the antibiotics?  Henry has been on them everyday since three months, and they really help in keeping the yeast away.  They also help regulate your gut - ie less spit up, diarrhea, etc.  Anyway, Henry takes the kids Culturelle.  I bought it at Target.  I hope Olivia was feeling ok for Santa.

[Virgil Showlion]

jenna30-
Message #15079 - 12/26/10 03:58 AM

Hey everyone.  Merry Christmas.  Hope you had a wonderful holiday!

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yogiii
Message #15080 - 12/26/10 03:22 PM

Hope everyone had a great X-mas. 

eh - Now that Henry doesn't do any MOTN feedings have you changed his bedtime?  We're not working this week and I started DS on 3 meals and tried last night cutting out the MOTN feeding.  I caved and fed him at 545, it had been almost 11 hours and that was my goal but there was a lot of crying in between.  I was thinking of shooting for 730-630 as the ideal time.  Previously he was going to bed at 7 and waking up around 4, then back to bed from 430-630.

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jenna30-
Message #15081 - 12/26/10 03:30 PM

Question:

Has everyone decided which board we will use once the MSN boards are closed? 

I have a feeling I'm going to have a ton of questions as Baby E grows & you ladies offer some wonderful advice.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15082 - 12/26/10 04:42 PM



We don't celebrate Christmas being JW but we had a very nice day together as a family  And it snowed! We got about 2 inches that's quite a bit for here in Atlanta. It stuck to all the trees because it stayed so cold overnight, it's so pretty. Olivia was just in awe of it watching it fall. Her rash is doing better. I give her yogurt since the ped ok'd it at 7 months for her. It seems to help the rash a lot. I'll have to look into that Cuturelle. I'd never heard of that before.

 

jenna - how are you feeling since your c-section? I hope the pain has subsided for you at least some.

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eh230
Message #15083 - 12/26/10 07:30 PM

Yogiii, I have not really changed Henry's bedtime.  He usually goes to bed between 6:30 and 7, though we generally base his bedtime on wake time and not by the clock.  I would love for him to be able to stay up until 7:30, but 1) his naps continue to be bad and 2) he is still a pretty early riser no matter what time he goes down.  Good luck with eliminating the MOTN feeding!

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jenna30-
Message #15084 - 12/26/10 09:29 PM

jenna - how are you feeling since your c-section? I hope the pain has subsided for you at least some.

It's better, though now the pain has moved into the groin area.    Thanks for asking.

What sucks worse than the lack of sleep is that I can't hold Baby E anywhere near my stomach or chest... he tends to kick or push into my tummy & I can't have the weight on my stomach, either.  When he's sitting in his rocker seat, I also can't sit on the floor to play with him.  To top it off, I still sleep propped up on the sofa - which means I can't lie down next to hubby.

Hopefully things will go ok at the Dr's office, tomorrow.  I can't wait to feel like my old self, again. 

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #15085 - 12/27/10 04:34 AM



Hi Ladies,

 

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Ours was great just very titing. We were with DH family on Christmas Eve and at my house with my side of the family on Christmas. Kiani got a bunch of presents, lots of toys, clothes, a scrapbook, a walker that my sister gave her and a activity jumper that we bought her. She was around so many people during both days that she was very fussy when it was time for her to go to sleep.

 

Gardnergilr- hope Olivia gets better soon.

 

Kjsh- Ahhh time is getting  closer, I cant wait to hear your baby birth story.

 

Drama- Congrats on Gwen rolling over. They are growing so fast.Cant belive her and Kiani are already 5 months ( Well Kiani turns 5 months in a few days).

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15086 - 12/27/10 01:53 PM



Good morning everyone!!  It sounds like everyone had a nice holiday weekend.  Ours was really nice, but really busy.  We just ran from one party to the next.  Avery remained incredibly pleasant considering how off her schedule was.  I'm hoping to get her back on track this week.  I know she's tired.  And, in typical kid fashion, her favorite toy wasn't a toy at all.  It was a musical card that plays "Jingle Bells."  I've heard that stinking song 1,000 times since Saturday.  Now I'm just praying the battery on that little card dies soon!

gardenergirl, I hope Olivia is feeling better.  I think I finally found the culprit to Avery's diaper rashes.  I was blaming the Babies 'R Us brand diapers, but that wasn't it.  It was the diaper wipes my MIL was using.  They were a store brand, and they were supposed to be perfume free.  I started noticing she was only getting a diaper rash after she spent time at my MIL's house.  She switched back to the Pampers Sensitive wipes, and she hasn't had a diaper rash in weeks.

jenna, I don't know about everyone else, but I like the Proboards site that was set up because the format is very similar to what we have here.

Drama,  That's great about Gwen rolling over.  Yay!!

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regina24601
Message #15087 - 12/27/10 02:55 PM



Good morning, everyone!  I'm at work today like a sucker, and it's going to be soooo slow this week.  Glad to hear most people's Christmases went well!  Our did - it was just me and DH (our families live 800 miles away).  No traveling for me so close to the end, and since our families will be coming out here soon to meet the baby, no one came to see us.  But it was okay - it was our last Christmas by ourselves, so we enjoyed our quiet day together.

jenna - Like kgb, I prefer proboards, although I'm on both that and babycenter (bc is cool because people can post pictures and things like that, so it would also be nice).  For anyone who doesn't have the link to the proboards, here it is:  notmsnmoney.proboards.com/ 

I remember someone posting a long time ago (Holly, maybe?) that a pregnancy feels like this:  the first trimester feels like it takes 6 years, the second trimester feels like it takes 6 months, and the third trimester feels like it takes 6 days.  Well if that is conventional wisdom then I'm calling BULL$$IT on that!!  This trimester has been dragggggging on sooooo long.  I'll be 38 weeks on Wednesday, and I feel like I've been pregnant for 17 years now.  And this has been a completely smooth, complication-free pregnancy, so I have NO EXCUSE to be feeling like this.  Finals are over, work is at its slowest point in the year, the baby's room is so ready it's not even funny, all of the gadgets (bouncy seat, swing, etc.) are all put together and just waiting for a baby to use them, so I'm literally sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for this kid to come.

Okay, enough ranting (is it even called ranting when what you're irritated with is not logical at all?  )  Hope everyone else is faring well!!!

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ElfQ1015
Message #15088 - 12/27/10 02:58 PM

And this has been a completely smooth, complication-free pregnancy, so I have NO EXCUSE to be feeling like this.

Bull pucky, by 38 weeks you have earned your complaining badge, complain all you want!  Anyone who doesn't like it. .. sit on them!

 

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15089 - 12/27/10 03:15 PM



regina I agree with Drama. Poo on anyone who thinks you don't deserve to feel however you feel. I know that my first tri felt like 6 years, but my second try felt like 6 days....I think it is the third tri that is not creeping AS slowly as my first, but it is definately dragging through parts.

 

I had a great holiday weekend, but i am SO SO tired. I have got to start remembering that I'm pregnant and I have less energy. I push myself to do more and more and more (over time, cooking, errands, cleaning, etc etc etc) until I am so completely exhausted I can't keep my head up.  Just 4 days of work this week until I can try to get a restful weekend.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15090 - 12/27/10 03:55 PM

Bull pucky, by 38 weeks you have earned your complaining badge, complain all you want! 

 Agreed.  I thought my last trimester, and especially those last couple of weeks, dragged on and on.  I was so swollen that it was difficult to get around.  I was exhausted.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #15091 - 12/27/10 04:03 PM

I was so swollen that it was difficult to get around.  I was exhausted.

  I felt like the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

 

I had to walk down the hill with my arms out like I was walking on a tightrope otherwise I was terrified that I'd topple over because I was so top heavy and the hill was so steep.

 

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #15092 - 12/27/10 04:05 PM



Gardnergilr, feeding the kids yogurt is always helpful.  Antibiotics can mess up anybody's digestive stytem, so eating yogurt while on antibiotics should be standard procedure.  DS2 gets probiotic yogurt every day and   gets homemade yogurt made using the probiotic stuff. 

When DS1 got bad diaper rash, I would rinse off the poop in the shower rather than using friction. Sometimes, I used a wet washcloth or paper towel rather than the wet wipes.    The most effective remedy was to just let him take naps without a diaper.  It made an ungodly mess, but it worked.  My MIL also let him take naps with the diaper really loose, which is way less messy. 

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regina24601
Message #15093 - 12/27/10 04:15 PM



Thanks for the license to whine, ladies.    I try not to complain IRL because I know I'm just so lucky to be pregnant and to have had smooth sailing and been able to carry to term, etc. (I keep thinking about my aunt who delivered my cousin at 27 weeks.  He was only 1 lb 11 oz.  He's 15 now and the picture of health, but it was such a traumatic experience for the family at the time.)  But I appreciate you letting me air it out here.

eternal - I also struggle with not realizing what my limits are as a pregnant person.  I can't tell you how many times I've gotten on the floor to pull out one of the dog's toys from under the couch and realized that I can't get myself up without a big, loud production.  I'm still not used to inhabiting this much-bigger body and all the limits that come with it.  I'll hypocritically tell you to try to remember not to overdo it, but I don't really take my own advice on that front, so feel free to ignore me.    But do remember that I'm the one who fell flat on her face a couple of weeks ago while collecting fecal samples from the dogs in the backyard - tore myself up (my eye is still a little black) and still took two dogs to the vet an hour later for their checkups (with DH).  So, yeah...don't be like me. 

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15094 - 12/27/10 04:19 PM



I had thought about letting Olivia go around without a diaper on for a while over the long weekend, but I was afraid of the mess she'd make. I never thought about just doing it at naptimes. Where was my brain on that one??  Her rash looks better, then it gets worse, then better, then worse. Keeps going back and forth. I know it's going to be a constant battle until she is done with her antibiotic. I fed her some yogurt again this morning before DC. I instructed them to use LOTS of diaper cream today but the teacher that was there at drop-off time was SO out of it. I think she was sick because it felt like 100 degrees in the room and she had a winter coat on and said she was freezing. That and I was talking to her and she was just like "Uh-huh, ok", etc. Nice. She left for the day because I just see the two other teachers in the room now.

 

regina - I'm sorry the time for you is going so slow. Hope baby comes soon! I'm at work today too and it sucks. There's only a handful of people here. I have stuff to do but no ambition to do it!!

 

eternal - wow, I'm so happy for you that you are in your 3rd tri!!!! Try not to do too much in your 3rd tri. It is really tiring like the 1rst tri, if not more so.

 

 

 

 

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ElfQ1015
Message #15095 - 12/27/10 04:26 PM

Try not to do too much in your 3rd tri. It is really tiring like the 1rst tri, if not more so.

You can also hurt yourself a lot easier.  I was a dumb a** and tried to lift a 20 lb container of water onto a cart and I felt something yank in my side and then walked with a limp all day.  Not fun.

 

Plus working myself like a dog clear to the end left me EXHAUSTED when it came time to actually deliver.  I still had a pretty smooth delivery, but I was MISERABLE clear up till I got the epidural.  Then not resting to get over my head cold poor Gwen was born with a 103.7 fever because I was sick at the time of delivery.  She's obvioulsy fine now, but working myself like a dog also unknowingly put HER in some danger as well.

 

I wanted to get it all done and then some, if I had just accepted the fact that no matter what I did there was no way to DO IT ALL and then some before I went on maternity leave I think I would have been a lot less miserable that last week of pregnancy.

 

It isn't worth it.  Unless you are going to be fired for not getting it all done, it isn't worth working yourself to exhaustion to get stuff done before maternity leave. 

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boos_mom
Message #15096 - 12/27/10 04:30 PM



regina - being pg was the longest nine months of my life.  It's kind of weird how slowly it progressed.  But oh well, once baby arrives, it speeds up to warp speed.  I also had some trouble remembering my new body -- one time, I parked next to a pillar.  In my pre-pg days I could squeeze between the door and the pillar and be fine.  But I didn't realize it until I tried to squeeze through and couldn't do it.  I had to reverse the car to have more space to get out. 

gardener - #2 is getting diaper rash too from the antibiotics.  We haven't had time to get yogurt, but I'm going to have to get some today (and more diaper rash cream)!  Poor guy!  Hope Olivia's rash is better for good soon. 

I'm working today.  We have an explosion of stuff from all the gifts!  We're still trying to figure out what to donate, so the kids only got to play with a few of the new toys.  I'm glad the holiday is over, so much rushing around, but I did manage to whip up a couple of dishes and not just pick up something to go, like I usually do.  I have to finish up the thank you cards and get the playroom organized!  The big pile of stuff bothers me!

 

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #15097 - 12/27/10 04:37 PM

We're still trying to figure out what to donate, so the kids only got to play with a few of the new toys

I took all the blankets out of the plastic tub my MIL gave me and I put all the stuffed toys that Gwen has gotten since the shower that she isn't ready for in there.  I am going to bring them out as she ages as Christmas gifts and birthday presents.

 

I also rearranged her room to display some of the new stuffed animals.  She got a special teddy bear from "Santa" along with a letter from 
Santa" (My mom).  The letter is in the baby book and the teddy bear is on display on her shelves.  I plan on sewing the tag that says "from santa" onto the bear's arm so it won't fall off and get eaten.

 

She got some age appropriate toys and a few that she isn't quite ready for but will be soon.  She likes the educational electronic teddy bear my grandma got her, but it's song is SO ANNOYING, we won't be bringing it out very often.

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regina24601
Message #15098 - 12/27/10 04:48 PM

She likes the educational electronic teddy bear my grandma got her, but it's song is SO ANNOYING,

Oh, Drama, I am not looking forward to all of those fun, loud toys.  And if karma is at play here, then I have a lot of those things coming to me!!  After 9 years of being an aunt, I've given out WAY more than my fair share of loud, obnoxious gifts (I gave my 2 y/o niece a Fisher Price harmonica for Christmas last year  - my sister is STILL thanking me for that).  For her third birthday, I gave another niece a kitty-cat keyboard that meows every so often even when no one is playing with it.  And I also gave her these talking plastic eggs for Easter last year.  You hide them and they say things intermittently to help you find them.  My sister gets so PO'ed at those things because she can never find them but she can always hear them taunting her. 

I've already been warned by both sisters that they will never buy LMSK a quiet toy.  I've got a lot of payback coming to me.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15099 - 12/27/10 04:57 PM

My sister gets so PO'ed at those things because she can never find them but she can always hear them taunting her. 

I had to "kill" my Furby when I had one because it would do the same thing at night.  Totally creeped me out because if it was going off when I wasn't playing with it, that meant it was THINKING.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15100 - 12/27/10 05:03 PM

I also rearranged her room to display some of the new stuffed animals.

Stuffed animals.  Argh!   No offense to those of you who love them, but I wish people would stop giving us stuffed animals.  I'm going to take a bunch to the Goodwill store.  They just take up space.  I'm going to keep a couple, but most of them are going, going, gone.  I refuse to end up with 50 stuffed animals on every shelf and in every nook and cranny of her room.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15101 - 12/27/10 05:08 PM

 I refuse to end up with 50 stuffed animals on every shelf and in every nook and cranny of her room.

I got carried away and then so did everyone at my shower.  I have the same problem right now, so I came up with the above solution of putting a lot of them away as future "gifts" as she gets older.  Then as she gets older I am going to institute the "get one, donate one" policy.  I do that with my clothes so I don't end up with a ton of stuff I never wear.

 

I think that is a good habit for her to get into as she gets older and will keep the clutter down.

 

Didn't have as many as I thought I did though, I only needed one tote.

 

I don't want people giving her a bunch of toys with little pieces I have to keep track of and keep our lab from eating.  So far I have gotten lucky on that count.

---

EconStudent07
Message #15102 - 12/27/10 05:48 PM

I also had some trouble remembering my new body -- one time, I parked next to a pillar.  In my pre-pg days I could squeeze between the door and the pillar and be fine.  But I didn't realize it until I tried to squeeze through and couldn't do it.  I had to reverse the car to have more space to get out. 

lol, I did this too. I would try to squeeze in between things only to remember that I'm not small anymore when I bumped my belly into it.

Speaking of size--I think I'm going to go buy some new pants today. My pre-pregnancy shirts fit again, but my pants do not. I guess I gained weight in my legs and butt, and I don't think that extra weight is going anywhere any time soon! I'm going to go look for some new clothes today, but I don't want to buy more than one size bigger than what I wore before (because I know I'll lose at least some of the weight, and I don't want to be stuck with clothes that are way too big for me), so we'll see what I find. I was a 4 pre-preg, and I found a pair of size 6 pants in my closet that I was able to squeeze into, so hopefully I'll be able to get some size 6 jeans that fit.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #15103 - 12/27/10 05:52 PM



Your hips change shape while pregnant and after giving birth.  I am 6 months out from being pregnant and still cannot fit into my 25 inch jeans and it has nothing to do with weight because I am back down to what I was PP, it's that my hips have changed shape.

---

boos_mom
Message #15104 - 12/27/10 06:25 PM

I don't want people giving her a bunch of toys with little pieces I have to keep track of and keep our lab from eating.  So far I have gotten lucky on that count.

drama - That's because most of the toys with small parts are for 3+ years old.  When Gwen is bigger, you'll get those for sure!

We've got several big plastic bins for the toys, but we keep them in the playroom, so it's not like we put them away in a closet.  And there's still a bunch of stuff not in the bins b/c the kids play with them most of the time. 

regina - LOL, yes payback s ucks!  We have gotten some noisy toys, but nothing too irritating yet.  Except for the learning puppy that will say a few phrases or start a song in the middle of the night when no one is around.... 

kgb - I'm not too into stuffed animals either, since we've got allergies.  We have more than I'd really like, but the kids like to play with them.  And guess what #1 wanted.  A Pillow Pet.  And then, someone gave her another one for a present!  That one is going back to the store...

---

boos_mom
Message #15105 - 12/27/10 06:30 PM

econ - I could "fit" into my pre-pg jeans by about 6-8 weeks, but I had the muffin top for quite a while, so that was annoying.  A different cut with a higher rise kind of helped minimize that, but unfortunately no one told me how long it'd take to kind of return to normal looking.  And those celebrity photos are not helpful or realistic. 

---

yogiii
Message #15106 - 12/27/10 07:01 PM

eh - DS is an awful napper for me.  Only 30-40 mins if I am home, even if DH is the one who puts him down for the nap.  When I am at work he will take 1-2 hour naps .  I'm glad he gets extra sleep because he needs it but I could use 2 hours to myself where I'm not at work too!  I tried 730 last night and he slept until 515 which was pretty good.  He usually sleeps 10.5-11 hours overnight fragmented so I'm hoping to get him to sleep until at least 6 or 630.  I let him cry of and on until 6 before I fed him and then he went back to sleep for about 45 mins after that.  I'm hoping each day this week he eats later and later in the morning so eventually he gets it that he may as well just sleep until 6 or 630 cause that's when he gets food. 

regina -  3rd tri was slow for me too but since his arrival time just flies, it is crazy.  Nice how the work day goes by fast though, I can't complain about that part.  I worked right up until my due date and I wish I hadn't.  I just had so much I wanted to do but I really should have just taken one day to myself to be lazy.  You won't get that again for a long time...people kept telling me that but I didn't listen.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15107 - 12/27/10 07:05 PM

My pre-pregnancy shirts fit again, but my pants do not. I guess I gained weight in my legs and butt, and I don't think that extra weight is going anywhere any time soon!

Like Drama said, your body just changes shape.  I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight a couple of weeks after giving birth, but my pants just fit differently.  I have a lot of pre-pregnancy pants that I can now wear, but there were a few that just never felt right. 

And guess what #1 wanted.  A Pillow Pet.  And then, someone gave her another one for a present!  That one is going back to the store...

Avery loves the Pillow Pet commercial on tv.  She's mesmerized by it.  Her older cousin got one for Christmas, and Avery kept taking it and walking around with it.  I haven't decided if I'm going to give in and get her one.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15108 - 12/27/10 07:09 PM



oh ladies....I am having a cry fest today. I think it is mostly preggo hormones making it seem way bigger than it is, but I have been so upset.

 

DH and I both get bonuses at the first of the year (part of our contracted pay so a minimum amt is guaranteed) and we had planned to use this money for my maternity leave. We have paid off all consumer debt except for a small car loan. We got all that paid off in April and had planned to start saving more for baby expenses. Then as you know in May I had my surgery which put us 2K back in debt. Then, poof, surprise pregnant again (such a wonderful surprise though!!!). We worked hard and paid that off and felt fine that the bonuses would still bring us out of maternity leave with no new debt (bonuses will pay out of pocket maximum for me and baby + maternity leave).....I was disappointed we wouldn't have more in savings, but oh well medical stuff is not something you can ignore.

 

DH went to the dentist in November for the first time in SEVERAL years.... he came out with another 2K of needed dental work . Well, OK, that means that we will have a LITTLE consumer debt but we can pay off the labor and delivery and my maternity leave without any more than the dental work in debt.....

 

He had a filling done 2 weeks ago that didn't go right. Ended up having to see a specialist...the nerve was so inflamed that he had to have a root canal today and now will need another crown. To top it off, his dental insurance changes on 1/1/2011 so a crown that would have cost one price this week is going to cost us $300 MORE next week....and since the dentist wasted time trying the filling there is no way to get the crown started before the insurance change. Bottom line....we are going to have to spend ANOTHER $1500 on top of the $2K in dental work.....

 

I am starting to really really stress about what our finances are going to look like next year. I feel like we worked SO hard for 3 years to pay everything off (nearly 30K in consumer debt!!!!) and didn't get to enjoy our hard work AT ALL before BAM emergency...BAM emergency...BAM emergency...and now the baby will be here right after DH finishes with all his dental stuff.

 

I feel like we will NEVER get to even ground.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #15109 - 12/27/10 07:14 PM

We got the unicorn one (hey, I'm a sucker for unicorns).  Then she got the panda one.  She wants to give it to brother, but I'm waffling about it.  But, she really does like her pillow pet. 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15110 - 12/27/10 07:16 PM

I am starting to really really stress about what our finances are going to look like next year. I feel like we worked SO hard for 3 years to pay everything off (nearly 30K in consumer debt!!!!) and didn't get to enjoy our hard work AT ALL before BAM emergency...BAM emergency...BAM emergency...and now the baby will be here right after DH finishes with all his dental stuff.

Pretty much!  No advice, just sympathies.

 

That being said I'd be arguing with the previous dentist about the charges if he botched it up and you can prove he botched it.  My dentist would not charge me again if it was discovered that my crown did not fit or for whatever reason popped off, I would just have to come back in to have it resized or stuck back on.

 

I also paid for the root canal and crown upfront.  I didn't have to pay for the crown when I recieved it because it was factored into the cost of the root canal.  Is there any way to negociate paying for the crown now as opposed to the start of the new year?

 

You'll be all right, we've had a big mess this year too despite carefully planning for my maternity leave and medical expenses. Couldn't plan for the dog busting a window, could not plan for the city suddenly deciding after 27 years of living in said neighborhood that we had to fix our sidewalk, could not plan on the dog having a tumor.

 

It sucks because I didn't get the NFM card paid off as fast as I would have otherwise and our savings is smaller than it used to be, but that's life.  All I can do is chug along no matter how frustrating the setbacks are.  The only other option is to lie back and die and I don't plan on doing that.


Things are tighter than we like, but as long as we can pay rent and have food I am trying not to freak out about living paycheck to paycheck right now.

---

regina24601
Message #15111 - 12/27/10 07:30 PM



 Hugs to you, eternal.  I can tell you're feeling very overwhelmed.  You're right - it's not fair that you didn't get to enjoy all of the financial work that you did before all of these emergencies happened.  But those emergencies were going to happen no matter what your situation - so imagine how much worse off you would be right now had you NOT put in all of that work paying off your debt!

And in the end, it's just money.  Debt sucks, and it's not something I advocate for (I'm still struggling to pay off all of our consumer debt right now) but it's a necessary evil sometimes.  Use it as a tool to get you through these rough times, with the knowledge that you have paid it all off before and you CAN and WILL do it again.

Cry it out, let yourself be overwhelmed, etc. then take a step back and make a plan - even if it's not the same plan that you thought you'd be making 6 months ago. 

---

boos_mom
Message #15112 - 12/27/10 07:31 PM

eternal - I would definitely have an issue with the other dentist who messed up with the first round of work.  We also did a payment plan years ago when DH had a bunch of work done before he had dental coverage.  I didn't even ask them, I just started mailing a check each month and they didn't call to negotiate the amount.  I just paid it every month and they were fine with it.  Also, I'd also vote to see if they can pre-bill you for the crown to save you the $300.  It's worth a try.  I hope you feel better soon.  You'll get there, even if it takes a little longer.  Hugs!

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15113 - 12/27/10 07:32 PM



Drama - It wasn't so much that the dentist botched the filling as much as that it shouldn't have been a filling at all. If she had just said "this is another crown you are going to need" and went ahead and sent him to the specialist we could have gotten it all started in December. At this point it is too late. The crown has to be started before 1/1/2011 and the nerve was so inflamed that DH has to wait 2 weeks after today's root canal for them to touch the tooth again putting us squarley in 2011 and a much bigger % OOP. I feel even worse for DH because he has been on a HUGE amount of pain killers for the last 2 weeks due to everything.

 

I know that I should just be thankful that we can handle this financially, but when I've been watching all my friends go on vacations, buy nice cars etc etc etc while we scrimped and paid down debt it just feels SO not worth it. I told myself "when we get out of debt we will be in a MUCH better financial position to have a home, start our family, and do all those fun things they are doing now" but here we are almost 4 years later....they are all buying houses, having babies, etc but WITH nice cars and while going on vacations and DH and I are still working through the debt thing. I know they all have this raging debt under the surface that they aren't addressing (we are all very close so we are in the know about everyone's $$ situation in our peer group)....but it still doesn't feel very satisfying when we've been working so hard for what seems like NO reward.

 

ETA: Cannot prebill for the crown or put the crown in with the root canal because the molar affected made it a job for a specialist rather than the reg dentist. So, specialist does the root canal (covered at a COMPLETELYdifferent rate...i.e. lower!!... since it is considered a special kind of root canal) then his reg dentist will start the crown but not for 2 weeks. No way to have them billed together or the crown as part of his 2010 coverage since he can't even see her again until 2011.  Trust me, I've tried every which way to at least get the 2010 rates to apply. No dice.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15114 - 12/27/10 07:35 PM



The sucky thing about my dentist is they went to not doing payment plans, they encourage you to use a Citibank Medical Credit card.  It's a freaking joke.  I still have it but it is reserved for life or death ER emergencies.

 

Eternal is there a dental school anywhere near you?  They can do all the same work as a regular dentist for a fraction of the price.  Ours has specialists and everything available for a fraction of the costs.  Downside is that our dental school largely focuses on lower income populations so to get in as a regular joe takes a VERY long time.

 

but it still doesn't feel very satisfying when we've been working so hard for what seems like NO reward

Yeah every once and awhile the green eyed monster rears its head with DH when it comes to his brother and sister.  I have to remind him sometimes that while we don't have all the things, eventually we'll be in a better spot than them.  It is very hard sometimes to keep that going in the face of watching everyone else have "fun".

 

It's only on YM where you can prepare and have money for ANYTHING that could possibly happen to you from now until death.

 

I try to look at it as at least we had the money to pay for the stupid sidewalk, we could have not had any savings and then we'd have been fined AND still had to pay the sidewalk plus the costs of being drug to court.  There is always a worse scenario.

[Virgil Showlion]

gardenergirl0804
Message #15115 - 12/27/10 07:43 PM



eternal - I mean this in the nicest way possible, but...Who cares about nice cars and fancy vacations!?!? When I pull up to the really nice daycare that I send Olivia to - I see all these fancy people with their new cars - Lexus, big SUV's, I just take a look at my little Subaru and say I can afford this daycare comfortably and my car is paid off! That makes me feel good. That stinks about DH's dental work. It seems like it's almost something. At least you paid off all of your previous debt. I know it really stinks to start over, but at least you don't have anything else you will need to pay off. Will you get another bonus at the beginnig of 2011?

 

toys that make a lot of sound - all that talk about these had me cracking up. Last time up in Ohio my parents gave Olivia this singing piano that if you don't play with it after a couple of minutes it will say "Let's play again soon." My dad had taken the batteries out of it because they were laying in bed one night and they heard the piano say that! Creeped him out. I haven't heard it at night myself yet, but she also has a toy hammer that makes sound out of the blue once in a while.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15116 - 12/27/10 07:44 PM

My brother used to have a Buzz Lightyear that would occassionally talk at random.  We'd be sitting in the living room at night and hear "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!"  He was only supposed to talk when you pushed the button!

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15117 - 12/27/10 07:45 PM

Drama - dental school won't work....DH let his teeth go so long that they are at that scary point of "do the work RIGHT NOW or have them pulled".... He is already going to lose one due it literally crumbling during the exam. He is genetically predisposed to bad teeth...so bad dental experiences as a kid scared him from going to the dentist (every time you go = new emergency so don't go = no emergency)...and now we are in this situation. I am trying not to be mad at DH because frankly this work was going to have to be done whether now, earlier, or later....but it still hurts when it feels like insult on top of injury this year.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15118 - 12/27/10 07:48 PM

Will you get another bonus at the beginnig of 2011?

Yes, this is the bonus we are using for maternity leave and labor/delivery. We will get some extra checks in 2011 that we never budget with plus we both get a bonus again in early 2012 so no matter what we are ok....I just really really wanted this year to be the year our savings account grew. but....it is not to be.

 

I don't care about having a fancy car...but I would at least like to be able to say "you have a fancy car...I have a funded savings account" instead of "you have a fancy car/great vacation...and I have....broken even finally"

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15119 - 12/27/10 07:52 PM

.DH let his teeth go so long that they are at that scary point of "do the work RIGHT NOW or have them pulled"....

Are you SURE it won't work, it's at least worth a call.  Some dental schools have clinics attached to them that have the regular dentists, kinda like medical centers attached to medical schools.  They are regular clinics and the only difference is students pop in and out to observe.

 

Sympathies about the teeth, my DH was just as bad and ended up having to have them all pulled there was just no way to save them.  He's still really angry about it he thinks there was a way to save his teeth despite several dentists telling him otherwise.  He only had 16 of his own teeth left by the time the decision was made for dentures.

 

It ticks me off too because if he would do what he is SUPPOSED to be doing he would not have the problems he does with dentures, but he'd rather whine about it.

 

It feels like we threw almost $2k down the drain because he won't do what he's supposed to do.  It's better that it was done because he was only one good tooth infection away from having serious complications, but it's still annoying.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15120 - 12/27/10 07:53 PM



Oh yes, Drama...there are NO payment plans for this dental work. It is payment in full at the time of service. Which I don't mind, until the dentist jokes with my husband "I really like working with you...the rest of my patients are almost all Medicaid folks and I almost never get paid the charged amount" har har har!!

 

Thanks a lot lady...FYI...we paid for their care too before walking in here and writing out that giant check AGAIN this week. Chuckle chuckle chuckle.

 

ETA: It is the waiting thing. I've called to talk about some of the work and they can't fit him in for 6+ months. In that time the fillings he needs now would turn into more root canals and crowns. My husband did not do everything he should have been doing..no arguement there...but adding that to his already bad teeth made what would have been a handful of fillings for someone with healthy teeth a GIANT production of crowns, extractions, etc etc.


I feel for your husband too. I've had a lot of dental work done due to a childhood accident and the battle to get reasonable replacements for teeth when crowns just won't work is very difficult. I have full implants for my front teeth and 2 more crowns on the next 2 teeth...I really understand my husband's reluctance to go to the dentist. I have the same feelings.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #15121 - 12/27/10 07:56 PM

"I really like working with you...the rest of my patients are almost all Medicaid folks and I almost never get paid the charged amount" har har har!!

Next time she makes that crack say you'd be curious to mention this to the insurance company because it "almost sounds like you might be overcharging me to make up the difference".  She'll shut up REAL fast.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15122 - 12/27/10 08:00 PM

Next time she makes that crack say you'd be curious to mention this to the insurance company

Yea...I am sure she is doing this because she also told DH that her Medicaid patients cancel a lot. One day DH was the ONLY appointment that didn't cancel. She did 4 hours of work on him that day just because everyone else just didn't show up and she kept working on his treatment plan.

 

I would have dropped her after those comments but she is the only covered dentist within 45 miles of our house!!! Next year we get a bigger dentist selection, but more OOP.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15123 - 12/27/10 08:02 PM

OK...I feel some better just talking to you ladies. it is what it is...money is just a tool. We are lucky that we can do this. Some of our "nice cars, vacations" friends went ahead and bought houses and had babies and now are talking forclosure, and repossession. DH and I just have to talk about "less fun money" or "longer savings horizons" or "less retirement contributions"....very big difference and due entirely to our hard work.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15124 - 12/27/10 08:02 PM

She did 4 hours of work on him that day just because everyone else just didn't show up and she kept working on his treatment plan

That isn't so bad depending.  My dentist got me squeezed in to do my fillings on the same day I came in for my intitial exam.  She offered because it'd save me a trip and she was free since her next appointment canceled.

Cost more upfront but I didn't have to make a totally separate trip.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15125 - 12/27/10 08:03 PM

Drama - Oh DH was thrilled to get more work done at 2010 prices!!! It was just the curious "no one else ever shows up or pays me" that makes me sure she charges more to those with private insurance to make up for it. How could she stay in business if no one shows up for a whole day?

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ElfQ1015
Message #15126 - 12/27/10 08:04 PM

Even if she doesn't throwing out comments like that is certainly going to make her private insurance patients raise their eyebrows.  Dumb move either way.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #15127 - 12/27/10 08:07 PM

I hated going to the dentist as well.  At least the practice the kids go to now is kind of neat.  They have tv's in the waiting room and some of the exam rooms and probably for the rooms that need dental work (just not the chairs for cleanings though).  #1 likes to go and hasn't had any cavities yet.  I make it a point to make sure the kids brush well, so they don't have to go through the pain of extra dental work if we can help it. 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15128 - 12/27/10 08:10 PM

Speaking of pain and teeth, I was brushing Avery's teeth on Christmas Eve when she chomped down on my finger.  It hurt so bad that I yelled.  I scared her, and I didn't mean to, but it was painful.  I still use the little brush that goes over the finger.  She won't let me use a real toothbrush yet.  I have a tooth mark in my fingernail.  She does love to get her teeth brushed though.  After she finishes her nighttime bottle, I always say, "Let's go brush your teeth," and she laughs.

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #15129 - 12/27/10 08:11 PM

Reminds me of the USPS commercial. These people get a clown as a Christmas present and want to send it back. The clown is standing in their house and the family is outside talking to the postal worker about how to return it. He's explaining the policy and the family turns back around and the clown is now standing right there in the doorway. Creepy but that commercial cracked me up!

---

EconStudent07
Message #15130 - 12/28/10 02:40 AM

ack, you guys were right about my hips getting bigger. The size 6 pants didn't fit either--well they fit until I tried to button them. So I'm sticking with my maternity pants for a few weeks and hoping that I'll fit into some real pants before I have to go back to school!

eternal, sorry to hear about your DH's dental problems! That stuff is so expensive.

---

ladyki
Message #15131 - 12/28/10 04:19 AM

I'll be 38 weeks on Wednesday, and I feel like I've been pregnant for 17 years now.  And this has been a completely smooth, complication-free pregnancy, so I have NO EXCUSE to be feeling like this. 

Regina- Dh and I were talking about this today. I was telling him that for me the third trimester went really fast. I told him that I just felt like I was not accomplishing anything and that I was just afraid that the baby would get here and that we would have nothing ready for her. He told me that for him the third trimester went really really slow. He was just so anxious to meet Kiani and the days seem to go by really slow.

 

 

---

ladyki
Message #15132 - 12/28/10 04:27 AM



Hello Ladies,

 

Just wanted to share something that I thought was nice and cute of DH. I made a turkey for our Christmas dinner. After everyone was gone and we were putting the leftovers in the fridge I decided I wanted to debone( spelling?) the turkey. Well I found the wishbone and took it to him so that we could break it together. Well he won but he told me what he wished for. He said that wished for another baby soon. I dont know if you all remember but I had stated before that I wanted to try to get pregnant again soon because I have an infertility issue ( endometriosis) which is basically wearing off my ovaries. Well we had originally agreed that we might start TTC to conceive again in April, but know I am thinking that I might want to try again like in February. I hope that you all dont think that I am crazy ( Kiani is only 5 months old) but with my condition we dont know how long it will take for me to get pregnant if we ever get pregnant again. It took us about six years to conceive Kiani.

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #15133 - 12/28/10 04:30 AM

I'm going to take a bunch to the Goodwill store.  They just take up space. 

lol, I saved most of mine form when I was a kid. I think I have more than 75 of them. I bought a hammock and I put many of them there. They all look very nice and cute right now, lets see if I say the same thing once Kiani is able to reach them, lol.

 

Avery loves the Pillow Pet commercial on tv.  She's mesmerized by it.  Her older cousin got one for Christmas, and Avery kept taking it and walking around with it.  I haven't decided if I'm going to give in and get her one.

I had been wanting to get one for Kiani since I was pregnant. Well I gave in once she turned three months, I went and bought her the lady bug pillow pet. Now I want to get her the  bumble bee.

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #15134 - 12/28/10 01:44 PM

ladyk -Aww, that's so cute about DH's wish! I don't think you are crazy for trying, but hopefully you will get pregnant more quickly this time. Having a baby supposedly makes you more fertile, thus easier to conceive again. Best wishes TTC again!!!

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15135 - 12/28/10 02:36 PM



Ladyki if you want to start trying that early I don't think it is crazy.  When and if to have kids/more kids is a deeply personal decision that no one else can make for you.  If you and your DH don't think it's crazy then who cares if anyone else does!

 

Urgh, Gwen has been getting up 3-4 times a night again to eat.  So tired.  I noticed that she has been kinda a lazy eater, if I get her to eat off both breasts she will fall asleep longer. I am chalking it up right now to her being sick and congested.  She can't breath well when she eats and is really tired so she falls asleep quickly after eating.  I need to make sure I "wake her up" so she'll get full.

 

Once she is well I'll reevaluate because she was down to 1 or maybe 2 MOTN feedings depending on when she last ate in the evening.  It makes me so frustrated and tired but instinticually I feel that if she is eating, she must need it. 

 

We'll be discussing solids at the next WBV in January so I'll ask about it then because if she is still going at it 3-4 times a night by then I am worried that maybe something might be wrong with her or my supply.

 

 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15136 - 12/28/10 02:56 PM



ladyki, I don't think you're crazy for TTC this soon at all.  If I had problems the first time around I wouldn't wait either.  Your DH sounds like a sweetie.

Today is my last day at work!!  I'm so excited.  I have 5 days off and then I start my new/old job on Monday.  I'm feeling really good about everything.  I probably won't be able to post as much once I change jobs.  My new job will take me out of the office a lot more, but I'm not going to disappear completely.  I just won't be able to jump in and out all day long.

---

stina72
Message #15137 - 12/28/10 03:03 PM



Hi ladies!  It looks like everyone had a great Christmas!  I got caught up this morning on reading so hopefully I don't forget anyone!

gardenergirl-I'm sorry Olivia wasn't feeling the best, I hope everything clears up soon. 

kjsh-I saw your post on Christmas Eve, but I don't think I have seen a post since...maybe Baby H is here by now?!  I do hope your husband gets a good amount of time with you and Baby H before he has to go back to work.

Jenna-I'm sorry you are still having pain from your C-section, I hope it goes away soon.  And I'm so, so sorry you can't hold Baby E on or near your stomach .

Drama-Yay for Gwen rolling over! Also, great idea on keeping some of the toys for later gifting when she is ready for them!

Regina-I'm sorry the last bit of pregnancy is going so slow for you.  I agree with the others, whine as much as you want, you have been on a rollercoaster the last nine months with everything from your emotions to your physique going haywire, you totally deserve to vent!

Eternal-I am so sorry for your situation, and I am sorry for your DH having to experience all the pain that he is.  I have had to have some weird dental surgeries, most of which insurance did not cover (is it just me or does dental insurance not cover cr*p?!) and this was at a time in my life when I was single, living on my own, working, and paying to go to college out of my pocket, so needless to say it was really bad timing.  I got through, I am not sure how,  but I did, and so will you.  Like you said, at least you have the means to do this now instead of your DH having to wait and put things off.  In regard to not enjoying the your hard earned money since you were paying off debt, in the long run you are giving yourself, DH and Cole (and any future babies!) a better life.  You said your friends are facing repossession and foreclosure and you have prepared yourself to avoid those situations as best as you can and therefore Cole won't have to experience those things either!  So basically, you should be very, very proud of you and DH, you guys have done an amazing job!

KGB-I'm sorry Avery bit you, not fun at all!

Ladyki-Like Drama said, if you want to try again, that is a very personal decision no one else can make for you.  I really hope it does not take another six years for you to conceive again, I will be hoping for a much shorter TTC process for you and DH!

Well it seems as if December/January will not be our month to conceive.  DH's brother didn't set up adequate accommodations for himself over the Christmas break (the dorms are closed so he has to move out for a month until school starts again) and has had to come stay with us.  Since he's crashing on our couch (since we have a 1 bedroom apartment right now) DTD is not really appropriate while he is sitting in our living room.  I suppose it is not worth getting super upset about, but I still wanted to scream . 

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15138 - 12/28/10 03:39 PM

Since he's crashing on our couch (since we have a 1 bedroom apartment right now) DTD is not really appropriate while he is sitting in our living room

He's in college...he should know what a scrunchie or a necktie on the front door knob means. Send him out for a gallon of milk and put that scrunchie on the knob before he gets back.

 

Just kidding...kinda.

 

[Virgil Showlion]

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15139 - 12/28/10 03:41 PM

So basically, you should be very, very proud of you and DH, you guys have done an amazing job!

Thanks a bunch! I know that we are putting ourselves in a great situation in the long run and avoiding those pitfalls that come from not paying attention to your finances, but URG those shiny cars and vacation pictures really get to me for some reason.

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #15140 - 12/28/10 03:50 PM



Ladyki, the only problem with conceiving in February is that causes your maternity leave to span across two calendar years.  I conceived DS in early February, gave birth in early November, and come January, had to choose between coming back from maternity leave a month early and coming back from maternity leave in late January with all my PTO used up.  I split the difference, promptly got that nasty flu that was going around, used up my PTO sick, and spent the next month coming into work sick and had to go the whole rest of the year with no PTO. 

 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #15141 - 12/28/10 04:12 PM

Ladyki, the only problem with conceiving in February is that causes your maternity leave to span across two calendar years.

That's a really good point.  We're going to TTC in the fall.  I'm hoping to get pregnant between November and January.  We conceived Avery in January, and it was perfect timing.  Everything was in the same calendar year, and I got to be home for the Christmas holiday.  It was exactly how I planned it, and we were really lucky it worked out that way.

---

surf-n-sand
Message #15142 - 12/28/10 05:19 PM

Hi ladies.  I'm wondering if you all can describe what first movements felt like to you?  I've been feeling the gas bubble feeling for weeks and thought that must be movement cause I wasn't having gas.  Now that my gas is actually increasing I'm wondering what is what.  I feel like I am feeling less now that the baby is moving up a bit and my belly is popping out.  When did you feel an actual kick and what did that feel like?  I'm almost 18 wks.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15143 - 12/28/10 05:38 PM



I felt an actual kick at 22 weeks and it felt like a little poke.  It's really hard to describe.  At first I didn't know what it was and then she did it again, it almost tickled. It was off an on until about 25 weeks when she started hitting me on a fairly regular basis.

 

Before that I'd feel weird "twisty" movements like she was shifting around inside of me and sometimes I'd feel her float up into my ribs like when I had my deep clean and they practically had me standing on my head.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15144 - 12/28/10 05:55 PM



I had a similar experience to Drama....I didn't really have a "now THAT was a kick for sure" moment until about 21/22 weeks. Around week 24 I was feeling him all the time. Now he is big enough that all of his movements are obvious and his little kicks will actually make my tummy bounce around.

 

I could never really for sure determine whether that gassy/bubbly feeling was really gas or the baby from week 16 to the first for sure kicks at 21 weeks. I'm sure it was probably BOTH just sometimes one and sometimes the other, but I couldn't make a clear distinction until after 21 weeks.

[Virgil Showlion]

jenna30-
Message #15145 - 12/28/10 05:58 PM

eternal -- I get it about the money issues.  We never expected that I would spend 6 days in the hospital (kidney stones) & I would essentially miss out on 4 weeks worth of pay.  I missed a week of work recovering, and then went Part Time my last 2-3 weeks of work...  The issue with the kidney stones really sapped my strength & stamina.

Then, I end up with a c-section & even more time in the hospital.

I'm just glad we waited to buy my new SUV until after his birth.  We want to pay off all hospital bills, and a small family loan before taking on a car payment.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15146 - 12/28/10 06:15 PM

jenna - I get that! I think that is why my friends having new cars bothers me. I keep having to add things to the "must do X before DH gets a newer car" list...BOO!

---

ladyki
Message #15147 - 12/28/10 07:02 PM

 

Thabnk you ladies for all of the support and not thinking I am crazy for wanting another baby so soon.

 

Drama- I hope Gwen gets better soon. Kiani refused my breast when she got congested and will no longer take it. I have her only on formula now.

 

Kriskringle- Good luck on the new job, I hope it foes great.

 

DTD is not really appropriate while he is sitting in our living room.  I suppose it is not worth getting super upset about, but I still wanted to scream . 

Have some fun with it, send him to do errands or just DTD when he is not there.

 

Ladyki, the only problem with conceiving in February is that causes your maternity leave to span across two calendar years.  I conceived DS in early February, gave birth in early November, and come January, had to choose between coming back from maternity leave a month early and coming back from maternity leave in late January with all my PTO used up.  I split the difference, promptly got that nasty flu that was going around, used up my PTO sick, and spent the next month coming into work sick and had to go the whole rest of the year with no PTO. 

Former- I am not working right now. I decided to not go back to work after my maternity leave ended with Kiani. I am taking a year off but if I do get pregnant I am staying home and extra year with the new baby and Kiani.

 

Surf- my first movements felt like little shocks,lol, or something like that. Dont worry, once you start feeling movements you will be able to recognize them and they will get more frequesnt.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15148 - 12/28/10 07:23 PM

Oh I'm so mad at myself! I didn't look at my weekly grocery ad before going to BRU and getting some Earth's Best. The grocery store has it on sale this week BOGO! Do you think BRU would take the food back if I return it? Or is there a policy against returning food, does anyone know?

---

surf-n-sand
Message #15149 - 12/28/10 07:44 PM

Thanks all!  I have felt a sharp pang here or there as well.  I was attributing that to gas. Maybe it's not?  I guess only time will tell. 

Oh Eternal and Jenna- I definitely have those "must do X before" whatever want lists too!  They never end until the want becomes a need.  Not to sound holier than thou, but I do take comfort in knowing I am one of few that run in our circle of friends that has not had a bk, repo, short sale, foreclosure, or the like.  It is really tough sometimes though to see all of those vacation pictures popping up from the people who have.  Just know that they are often looking at you thinking how nice it would be in your shoes too.  The grass is always greener! 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15150 - 12/28/10 07:52 PM



The first time we confirm movement is different for everyone surf.  I am not you so I have no idea what the baby moving around feels like to you, it might be the baby, it might not be.

 

You are right that only time is going to tell.  The OB kept asking me if I had felt movement yet and I told her honestly I can't tell if it is movement or I am about to fart. 

 

It wasn't until 25 weeks when she started developing a pattern that I could confidently tell the OB "yes I am feeling the baby move".

[Virgil Showlion]

PalmettoLady
Message #15151 - 12/28/10 07:55 PM



Hope everyone's Christmas went well! Ours was great, we stay here as my large family all live here as well as DH's parents. My present to myself/Dh was a DSLR camera! I've been wanting one for about 2 years and finally decided we would definitely buy one before Asher is born. So, DH and I covered about 1/2 the cost and my parents/grandma gave cash as a gift to cover the other half.

 

Eternal: I just have to pipe in and say I feel for you about dental work and working to pay down CC's but have nothing material to show for it. I think of it this way: I am buying peace of mind. Wonder how well the friends who are facing repo/foreclosure are sleeping at night? I also find I get a little jealous of shinny new cars --- DH & I are sharing and have been for about 2 years --- but, then I hear little things about how they can't afford X,Y,Z and I think to myself "Yea, that's BC you have a TWO $600 car notes..." We have a married set of friends who own 3 vehicles--- they are sharing ONE right now BC something broke on one and they can't afford the $300/$400 to fix it (a Car they have a loan and insurance on) and another car that is a "project" car of the DH's that they can't afford to fix up either. I have no clue the amount they pay to insure and finance all 3 but it HAS to be a good bit. Yet they don't have $300 in savings to cover repairs/maintenance.

 

Since he's crashing on our couch (since we have a 1 bedroom apartment right now) DTD is not really appropriate while he is sitting in our living room. 

Don't count yourself out yet. The month DH and I conceived Asher we only DTD ONCE.   I'm the type of person that just couldn't get in the mood or feel comfortable with someone in the house in that close a proximity, BUT he has to go somewhere sometime!

---

PalmettoLady
Message #15152 - 12/28/10 08:50 PM



I know someone posted the other day and mentioned they live in Atlanta, GA... who was that?

 

I wondered if you had any recommendations for fine dinning either downtown near Peachtree street or in Buckhead?

We are going in January for Mart and always wind up at the same places: The SunDial and the RitzCarlton's Atlanta Grill, Etc.

Also, any baby boutiques I should make a point to see? We always go to the mall as well, and I'm pretty excited to see Pottery Barn Kids in person, all I've got here is the catalog.

 

Thanks!

---

boos_mom
Message #15153 - 12/28/10 09:00 PM

but I do take comfort in knowing I am one of few that run in our circle of friends that has not had a bk, repo, short sale, foreclosure, or the like

Wow!  None of my friends have had those.  Actually, I'm at the low end of the earning spectrum of one set of my friends (not folks that have become friends from work).  But even the single friend renting has the greater earning potential once her career is established.  Luckily, we don't really have that kind of friendship, so I don't even feel like I'm in a competition with any of them.  We've been friends for too long.  We're all at differing stages in our lives, all with unique situations.  While they are in more lucrative careers than me and DH, it's not like they are flashy about it.  I admire their beautiful houses, but I know that they've worked hard to get to where they're at, they work hard at their jobs, and they're pretty savvy financially.  I know that they are living within their means.  I do enjoy the presents they give though!    And I do not try to reciprocate at the same level. 

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alpha_yankee
Message #15154 - 12/28/10 09:55 PM

I wondered if you had any recommendations for fine dinning either downtown near Peachtree street or in Buckhead?

gardener and I both live in the Atlanta area.  I never make it into downtown anymore, but used to frequent Buckhead quite a bit. 

citysearch dot com might be a good place to look.

For chain restaurants, DH and I like Maggiano's, Cheesecake Factory, and PF Changs, all of which are in Buckhead or the Perimeter area. 

For finer dining, there is pretty much anything you could want.  For Italian, check out Veni Vidi Vici and Dolce in Midtown (south Buckhead) or Azio downtown.  Steak houses - Bones, Prime, Ruth's Chris, Morton's, Fogo de Chao and Chima.  Seafood - try Atlanta Fish Market or Bluepointe.  For more American cuisine, I have heard good things about Shaun's.

I am partial to Azio and Bones.  Bones is a steakhouse with a southern twist on many of their dishes. 

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #15155 - 12/29/10 02:39 AM

[insert sarcasm] Life just keeps getting better. 

I've been having some weird tingling in my fingers for a couple days and yesterday it spread to my feet and my whole hands.  I went to the doctor today.  Diabetes was ruled out, but the doctor mentioned thyroid problems and something called Raynaud's syndrome (characterized by extreme coldness and numbness/tingling in the hands and feet, which is pretty much where I'm at).  If the bloodwork comes back clean, she wants me to have an MRI.  To test for multiple sclerosis . 

This is scaring the crap out of me.  Yeah, I'm overweight but other than that, I am as healthy as a horse.  I get a cold and I'm about 90% better the next day.  No serious medical problems whatsoever.  So to hear that is....hard. 

Anyways, for all you who are the praying type, if you could think of me over the next couple days I'd appreciate it.  Should get the bloodwork back by Thursday and we'll go from there.  I'm just terrified what it means if I have it.  Can I have another baby?  Will I be disabled one day?  Am I going to die sooner than a normal person?

Sorry for not responding to everyone else's posts right now.  It took me about 10 times as long as normal to type this because my fingers kept hitting the wrong keys.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15156 - 12/29/10 03:12 AM

Meg - Oh no!! You will be in my thoughts. I'm hoping it comes back with nothing majorly wrong. So sorry you are going through this!

[Virgil Showlion]

EconStudent07
Message #15157 - 12/29/10 06:04 AM

Meg, I'll be praying for you! That sounds scary...I really hope you get some good results from the bloodwork. Sorry you have to go through this.

---

PalmettoLady
Message #15158 - 12/29/10 01:42 PM



Meg: Try not to let yourself go there and worry until you know for sure. My Aunt has Raynaud's syndrome and it is practically undetectable in the warm months, but she can feel it in the colder months. She is the picture of health, the runs marathons type, all clean eating kind (where you feel bad to eat a donut in front of her-LOL).

My mother was diagnosed with MS 10 years ago. They test with an MRI for it to spot lesions on the brain. She has had no PROGRESSION of lesions in the 10 years she has been diagnosed. No change in function/mobility. I was scared to death when she first told me, I thought OMG, my mom will be in a wheelchair, she won't be able to function. But, that's simply NOT true, there are varying forms of MS. If you haven't been diagnosed prior to now (I'm assuming your late 20's/early 30's) and you don't have other symptoms I'd try not to worry about MS as an issue. Mom's diagnosis came from many issues: memory loss, forgetting the words she'd want to say, pain in her trilipital nerve (in her head along the back), extreme fatigue, lack of balance/coordination, the list goes on. Once she was diagnosed she began an aggressive "maintenance" (not treatment) plan, which includes an inject-able medication taken every other day, it's been shown to basically stop the progression.

I'm the praying type, so I will pray for you too. When do you go in for tests? When should you have some answers?

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PalmettoLady
Message #15159 - 12/29/10 01:48 PM

Alpha: WOW! Thanks for all the reccomendations. I just looked at some of the menus and my mouth's watering!

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #15160 - 12/29/10 01:56 PM



Oh Meg! First  to you. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm surprised the doctor is even giving you any possibilities of what it could be before your blood work comes back. They shouldn't be guessing and scaring you like that. You are definitely in my prayers today!! I hope everything comes back ok and you can still have lots of babies!

 

Palmetto - downtown Atlanta is great for dining out. What kind of food do you like? There's lots of restaurants in Buckhead, most of which can be pricey though. Alpha mentioned Maggiano's (Italian - super yummy and they give you lots of food), and Fogo De Chao is a brazilian steakhouse. They serve you all the meat you can eat (Gauchos come out with meat on these huge skewers and cut it in front of you) and some side dishes and a HUGE salad bar. Buckhead Diner is also super yummy. You might think, ew, diner, but it's very nice inside. Also, remember to make reservations if you go anywhere in Buckhead. Those places get packed out.

 

Gordon Biersch is a micro-brewery on Peachtree. It's still nice inside but a little better priced. Eno's is a great place if you like wine. Very pretty inside. Also on Peachtree, right across from the Fox Theater is the Georgian Hotel. They have a very nice restaurant inside and it's beautiful inside the hotel.

 

If you are looking for a little more relaxed environment Virigina Highlands is an awesome area. I'm partial to this area. Lots of great shops, great little restaurants. If you like oysters, raw or cooked, check out Fontaine's. Or if you like Irish food, Limerick's Pub is a good place, but if you are looking for more fine dining then I guess you would stick to Buckhead or downtown. Depends on what you want.

 

For baby stores - I love Precious Cargo, it's in the Vinings though so not exactly in town, but maybe a ten minute drive.

 

Not sure how long you'll be in the area, but remember we have an IKEA if you like that store. It's in Atlantic Station. Also a great place to shop. They have tons of kid stuff.

 

I love this area, can you tell?

 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #15161 - 12/29/10 02:45 PM



Meg that sucks. I understand why doctors are afraid to leave patients in the dark, but at the same time it is no reason to scare the crap out of them either.  There needs to be a balance. I remember when I had my first abnormal pap and the nurse kept saying "Cancer" every other sentence but tried to make me feel better by saying "Well it could end up just being a fluke, we get false positives all the time".


TOO LATE!  You've already said "cancer" about 20 times, now that is all I can think about, thanks a lot.

 

Gwen was down to two MOTN feedings last night, so we are making progress.  I made sure to get her to eat off both sides the last time and that helped.  Maybe it was just due to congestion and a growth spurt.  Hoping to get back down to one time a night.

 

So I am slightly less tired than I was yesterday, that's something.  Now if DH would get better and stop hacking, snorting, choking and gargling his own snot all night I'll be all set!

 

---

regina24601
Message #15162 - 12/29/10 03:00 PM



Meg - I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  Obviously your mind is going to the worst case scenarios, which is to be expected.  But it is still too early to know what's going on, so try to relax a little bit (much easier said than done, I know).  I don't know anything about Raynaud's, but my dad has MS.  He is older than you, of course, but he was diagnosed when he was about 45 or so.  PalmettoLady is right - it's not a death sentence or a guarantee of a wheelchair-bound life of low quality.  My dad's MS has been managed for the past 10 years and has not progressed at all. As far as child-bearing with MS, I don't know anything about it, but for the love of God, try not to google anything!!  It'll just make you crazy, and for possibly no reason at all.

Keep us updated as you hear the results - and make sure you join us wherever we end up (babycenter/proboards)!! 

[Virgil Showlion]

stina72
Message #15163 - 12/29/10 03:09 PM



Meg-I am so sorry for everything you are going through.  I know hearing "I know someone who is fine..." is just plain annoying sometimes so I apologize in advance for saying it.  My aunt was diagnosed with MS 6-7 years ago after her father was admitted to the hospital and she had half of her face randomly become paralyzed.  Like Palmetto's mother, she began a maintenance plan and rarely ever has any side effects from her MS.  She does become tired a little easier than she used to, but other than that she functions quite normally.  I agree with Palmetto though, MS affects everyone differently, but I can see how scared you are and just wanted to give you an example of someone with MS who has been able to maintain a pretty normal life after her diagnosis.  Searching the Internet really is going to give you a slew of answers, and a lot of them will be worse case scenario, so please don't look at all of the bad and think that could be me, because it may not be you.  I do hope and pray that MS is not your diagnosis, and as the praying type I will keep you in mine.

---

regina24601
Message #15164 - 12/29/10 03:16 PM

Wow, stina, you and I are really on the save wavelength this morning!  Weird...

---

Momma x3-soon to be 4
Message #15165 - 12/29/10 03:41 PM



re: baby's first movements I agree with others that have said it's different for everyone. I'm on #4 and still wasn't sure about his/her first movements.  S/he is definitely active now, but those first "bubbles" or whatever you want to call them are hard to pinpoint as movement vs. gas.

Meg-you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.  Hopefully you get some good new soon.

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15166 - 12/29/10 04:24 PM



Ladies - I need to vent a little more today. This time it is about my mother in law. Usually I have no complaints about her..she is great and we get along wonderfully. However, she is supposed to be throwing me a baby shower on Jan 16 (she offered...I accepted) and it is turning into a nightmare!

 

My stepmom had offered to throw one, but my MIL was very rigid about wanting to reserve this date for the shower and she wanted me to give her my list of people by November. She hounded me and hounded me for a list so I talked it over with my stepmom and she agreed to just help my MIL throw the one in January and I would just invite everyone to that one shower instead of trying to split the list. My MIL prefered this as well. I gave her my list and my stepmom's phone number in mid November.

 

Fast forward...as of today invites have not gone out and my MIL has STILL not called or emailed my stepmom. My MIL knows that the shower date is my stepsister's birthday so my stepmom needs to know what her obligations are. My MIL wouldn't even commit to the TIME for the shower so my stepmom could plan something with my stepsister either before or after. My MIL has called me, texted me, and emailed me about 10 times over the last 2 weeks for my stepmom's number and email address. Every time she asks, I provide it and she promises "I'm calling TODAY!!"...and then I get a txt from my stepmom asking again when the shower is and what she needs to do for it. I'm not throwing my own shower...I have no idea what my MIL needs/wants.

 

Finally, DH sees me getting stressed because I'm being called and texted daily from both sides and calls his mom. He gave mer my stepmom's number AGAIN and asked her to PLEASE just call that evening and tell my stepmom when the shower is and give her an idea of what is needed (food/decorations/$/etc). My MIL finally does call, but instead of the evening she calls while my stepmom is at work. Leaves a message with NO information and basically gives a long "woe is me" message about being so stressed and tired etc. My stepmom txts me and says that my MIL sounded so so tired on the phone she would just call back the next day *cue tiny violins!*. When my stepmom calls back, my MIL didn't answer. Instead of calling my stepmom back, she calls my DH. He was at work so she left him a voicemail message that he got last night. Ladies, this message was like 5 min long!! It was all about how tired she is from the holidays (she is on winterbreak from work since she works in a school) and how so sorry she was that she was "disappointing" my husband by not calling my stepmom and how she has SO very much on her plate and that this whole thing has just been so difficult to plan during the holidays and she is sorry she is causing him added stress and blah blah blah.

 

It sounds good except you know none if it is actual apology it is that martyr apology "so sorry I'm a weight you have to bear" kind of thing. UGH! DH knows how very hard it is for me to accept generousity from anyone. Letting people do nice things for me is difficult. I trusted her to do this..I have not ONCE asked her about my shower..I have only replied to HER requests for my stepmom's number and reminded her that my stepmom is there to help. DH's call was the first time ANYONE has asked her to do anything. Now that she is acting like throwing this shower is the hardest thing she has ever done it feels completely spoiled to me. I wish I could tell her to just forget the whole thing without making her an even bigger martyr about it. Her message to DH yesterday made it sound like we are standing over her with whips demanding that she do this for me.

 

She is always pulling the "I'm so tired/sick/stressed/etc etc etc" I told DH that she gets the most bang for her buck with her "pity me" voice on the phone. People demand less of her, expect less of her, offer assistance more readily. Well, I'm sorry, but don't offer to do something you don't really want to do...just DON'T. It is making me feel so in the middle between her and my stepmom and everyone else who

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15167 - 12/29/10 04:27 PM



wow that was long I got cut off!

It is making me feel so in the middle between her and my stepmom and everyone else who keeps texting and calling me to ask when my shower is. I keep getting "my weekends are filling up, I really want to come to your shower, but I don't know when it is." This is especially difficult since several people on my invite list are 2+ hours away and are planning to travel for the shower. I really think less than 2 weeks (how much notice they would get if the invites were mailed today) is just plan RUDE. And no one looks at my MIL thinking that, they look at ME.

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stina72
Message #15168 - 12/29/10 05:03 PM



Regina-I was thinking the same thing!

Eternal-Is there a reason for continuing to allow your MIL to plan the shower?  If she hasn't started the planning and your stepmom is willing to throw you a shower, could you just ask your stepmom to take the reigns and politely tell your MIL since she is so "stressed" () that your stepmom will be planning the shower.  I agree with you that this is stress you don't need and when someone offers to throw you a shower they should definitely follow through with it!  I hope everything gets worked out soon and you get to have a beautiful shower with all of your family and friends!

[Virgil Showlion]

regina24601
Message #15169 - 12/29/10 05:13 PM



Ugh...eternal...I hate shower drama.   Unfortunately, I have been there, too (although my issues stemmed from my hostesses wanting my guests to pay for their own meals).  I don't really have any advice for you because you really should not be getting involved in planning your own shower (even if the planning is stalled), but I do definitely feel your pain.  Even though your hostesses are the ones who are responsible for the planning, I know that your name is the one that people associate with the shower.  So if they feel slighted or left out or uninformed, they'll associate you with those negative feelings.  It's not fair because it's not your doing, but unfortunately that's the way it is.

Sorry, that probably doesn't make you feel any better.  Try to let your DH handle his mom on this one and really press on her that this is causing you more stress than it should - it's supposed to be a fun event that you just show up to and enjoy!

If I ever throw a shower for someone, I have learned SO MUCH about what NOT to do.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15170 - 12/29/10 05:14 PM



stina - I was asking Dh this exact thing yesterday. Here are the 3 reasons I'm just going to let it go and let her complain and mutter to herself...

 

A) At the date of the current shower I'm already going to be 31.5 weeks. If my stepmom had to start over, she wouldn't want the invites going out so late in the game so she would want to push the shower out until Feb....my weekends in Feb are already FULL just from baby classes at the hospital, a baby shower in my current town (several hours away so not an option to combine), and one other prearranged event that I can't change. Having the shower in March is NOT doable based on my due date being 3/17. I'm nervous already about the one in my current town in Feb (I don't think I'll be very comfy at 36weeks preggo, but oh well).

 

B) My stepmom has less $$ to throw an event. She was willing to throw a small shower for the portion of the guest list that would be my family/close friends (a third of the total number). She can't afford to include those people on my MIL's list that are DH's family and close friends of theirs. So, to include everyone they either have to have 2 showers (one by my stepmom and one by my MIL) or they need to work together to have one bigger one.

 

C) I would NEVER EVER hear the end of my lack of gratitude if I pulled the plug on the shower and didn't let MIL throw it.  I just wish she hadn't offered. I told DH that it is EXACTLY things like this that make me so reluctant to allow anyone to do anything for me. Then, when I finally build enough trust to allow it...something like this always happens and I regret it. then people ask me later "why won't you let anyone do anything nice for you??"...umm because no one EVER follows through.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15171 - 12/29/10 05:20 PM

I don't really have any advice for you because you really should not be getting involved in planning your own shower (even if the planning is stalled)

Exactly!!! Thanks for understanding that. I feel SO out of place getting these calls.

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alpha_yankee
Message #15172 - 12/29/10 05:29 PM

Eternal: I agree, MIL should be relieved of her "volunteer" duties.  Just explain that you want to help alleviate her stress and that stepmom has graciously agreed to step in and take over planning duties.  Add that stepmom would value any help that MIL is willing to provide. 

If invites are to be mailed, maybe consider moving the date a week or so, if possible, to give folks more time to make plans.  Otherwise, have you considered using e-vites?  My SIL did this for my shower and it was a great way to keep track of responses and send reminders.  I used it for DS's birthday, sending them a mere 10 days before the party and had 80% of invitees RSVP and only two no-shows from the RSVP-ers. 

If it were me, and I was having to field the questions from friends, I would tell them I really don't know and give them MIL's number to get more information.  There is no reason you should be stuck in the middle.

If MIL continues to be difficult, be firm.  Let her know what day/time the shower will be held, stepmom will be in charge, and her help is welcome.  Repeat until she gets the point. 

I would be prepared for her to pitch a major hissy fit and heap on even more guilt.  At that time, it is time for DH to intervene and deal with her.  He needs to help her understand that her stress is not important here.  It is more important that you are not burdened at this time.  If she is being this manipulative now, when you are merely pregnant, what will she be like when the baby actually arrives?  This may be overkill, but I feel like you need to set the tone with her now so that you don't have to deal with this type of behavior as your child gets older. 

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ElfQ1015
Message #15173 - 12/29/10 05:37 PM



Question for ladies who are breastfeeding, my supply appears to not be catching up to Gwen lately.  I just had to leave work and get what was left of my stockpile (now zero) because Gwen ate pretty much everything I pumped yesterday and it was only 10:30!!  And yes she ATE IT, I checked with them to make sure they were not throwing it away.

 

She is up to 5-6 oz a time yet when I pump I am still getting on average 4.  She also has been heavily cluster feeding for the past WEEK but there seems to be no change in my supply.


So I am wondering what to do?  I am going to tack on another pumping session at home which will bring my sessions up to four. I can't add on another one at work because I already am doing three and I feel that is pushing it despite my bosses being understanding about it. I still have to do some work!

 

I am going to see if I can catch the LC here at work if not I will call Creighton's.

 

I am going to give it a couple weeks of pumping 4 times a day and see if that helps before calling the pediatrician.  If 4 times a day doesn't up what I am producing for daycare then I am going to doing half formula/breastmilk for daycare because I don't want pumping to consume my entire day.

 

Do breastmilk teas work?  Are they safe?  I've seen some in the supermarket health section I am considering buying.

 

Urgh, I seem to have gone the opposite direction from overproducer to slightly underproducing. I seem to have regulated to the PUMP despite EBF-ing while home.

 

 

 

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #15174 - 12/29/10 05:56 PM



Eternal, tell your stepmom that she is in charge of your shower and let her keep the Jan 16th date.  Give her the list.  Tell your MIL she is off the hook.  Don't let her make you feel guilty about it.  She is the one who insisted on taking over and is now playing games.   People get funny about pregnancy and birth.  You need to distance yourself from this nuttiness and keep yourself calm. 

A baby shower is not an expensive or difficult event to throw.  She can have it at her house with a plate of cold cuts, some soda, cookies and a cake.  Invitations can be done over email and phone.  You and the older ladies in your life are making a mountain out of a molehill.  I've been to plenty of baby showers where preparations consisted of the hostess cleaning her house, making one trip a super Walmart for less than $50 worth of food, decorations and paper plates, and half the guests sitting on the floor because there weren't enough seats. 

So what if your MIL gets upset about it?  She's the one who dropped the ball, is stressing out about nothing, and is deliberately stressing out the pregnant lady.  Frankly, if didn't have small kids at home, it would be relatively easy to throw a shower at brunch and have a birthday party in the evening and not spend more than $100 for both events.   

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #15175 - 12/29/10 05:57 PM

Meg- I will keep you in my prayers. Hopefully the results will come back negative. Keeping my fingers cross that everything is okay.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15176 - 12/29/10 06:05 PM



eternal - I am sorry you've had a rough week with the dental drama and now, the shower drama. Maybe you should start telling friends that MIL is throwing the shower, but you don't have any details, and give out her number. She'll get calls and texts, and then realize how annoying it is.

 

Meg - I am thinking of you and praying. Just remember that doctor's are really good at giving you worst case scenario for two reasons. One, to cover their tails and two, to make themselves look amazing when something lesser happens. Last year in July, I had severe chest and stomach pains that no one could figure out. I was hospitalized three times. They told me I likely had ovarian cancer (I had JUST turned 25) and it terrified me. After more tests, I learned that I had a hiatal hernia, a relatively small and simply treated condition. Big, big hugs to you. 

 

DH is still off of work, and he got the nursery painted and furniture in! I am so happy with the way it turned out. Our next shower in on Jan 8th, so we'll be able to finally get the last crucial items off the registry ourselves if no one gets them for us. I can't believe DS will be here in 8 weeks (maybe less).

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15177 - 12/29/10 06:17 PM

insurance - have you gone to any childbirth classes yet? DH and I start our classes next Wednesday. 11 weeks til my due date seems like such a short time. I get really overwhelmed thinking of all the things I need to get done between here and there. I can't imagine how you must be feeling with 8 weeks or less to go!

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15178 - 12/29/10 06:23 PM



I'm going to pitch it to DH tonight about asking my stepmom to just do a shower and telling my MIL she is done. If Dh will take over the calling and arranging, then I'm totally for that plan. If not, I just can't be in the middle...it is too stressful and feels presumtuous to me that call my stepmom and just say "I know you offered to throw me a shower, so now I need you to do that". If DH won't handle it, then I'll take the advice here just to give out my MIL's number to everyone.

 

If I get an invite in the mail, I'll show up. If not, oh well.

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GusitaRenker
Message #15179 - 12/29/10 07:01 PM

Eternal-Sorry about your shower drama. I would let stepmom step in and take over things, even if she has to scale it down. You can have a nice shower on a budget. Some people have to make everything into rocket science, when it should be relatively simply.   My MIL tends to overlook obvious things; for example, when she sent the invites out, she put it was at 'Cathy's house' with no address or anything. First off, both she and my mom are named Cathy. Second off, my family and friends have no idea where her house is!

Meg-I will definitely keep you in my prayersI hope they can get the testing done relatively quickly so that you can get some answers.

Surf-My first movements felt like a little 'thunk.' Kind of like someone was tapping me from the inside. I didn't know for sure that it was definitely the baby until 20 or 22 weeks I think it was?

kgb-Enjoy your time off before starting the new job!

kjsh-I'm hoping you are holding your little boy right now!

Blech, I am so drained. I feel like I am back in the first trimester with this lack of energy. I just feel like someone has sapped all my energy out. I feel like I should walk or be scrubbing something, but it's just too much effort. I'm sure waking up every hour to either pee, get something to drink, or change positions isn't really helping things. I guess I can't complain too much; I've slept really good for 90 percent of this pregnancy, so I guess things had to go to heck at some point.

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #15180 - 12/29/10 07:06 PM

Palmetto, I'm 26 so I am still pretty young.  The site I was on listing the symtoms and prognosis and stuff said that being female and being under 25 years old means I'm more likely to have a "benign disease course" IF I have it, of course.  It never said exactly what that means but I know benign is a good thing when it comes to cancer and the like, and I fugure 26 is close enough to 25, so I"m going with that .  I've had a couple of other isolated incidents that made me also think MS - I had an episode of double vision about four years ago that the doctor was very interested in hearing about, and a weird cramping in one of my leg that strikes randomly. 

Anyway, I have a follow-up appt tomorrow to discuss the bloodwork and if the results are normal, we'll schedule the MRI.  I'm on Medicaid right now so I'm only hoping there's not going to be some long authorization process.

[Virgil Showlion]

stina72
Message #15181 - 12/29/10 07:34 PM



Eternal-I totally understand all of your reasons for not wanting to strap your stepmom with this at the last minute.  Again, I am so, so sorry you have to deal with this so close to the end.  I agree with your idea of asking DH to make the call for you, I also agree that MIL's phone number be given to those asking questions, that'll probably get her moving

Meg-I hope things go well at your appointment tomorrow.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #15182 - 12/29/10 08:06 PM

Drama - that happened with Olivia around 5 or 6 months of age. I couldn't keep up with her needs anymore. I tried things like Blessed Thistle, but they just didn't work for me. I just supplemented with formula. I know you'd probably rather not do it, but it's better for the DC to have something on hand for her to eat than to go hungry! I just had them keep a can of formula there, that way if she ran out of breastmilk they could make her a bottle. Hopefully Gwen can start having some baby food soon at DC. That has helped tremendously.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15183 - 12/29/10 08:12 PM



At her next WBV we'll be discussing solids because she will be six months.

 

I'll go ahead and get a can and hopefully she does not have allergies like DH or I did.

 

It's **** me off that I started out with TOO MUCH and made us both miserable and now I am not producing ENOUGH.  I can't win!

I'm going to try adding one more pumping session before throwing in the towel to supplement.  I am one bag off right now so one more pumping session might help.

 

If it doesn't I will talk to the pediatrician.  Dh and I both had formula allergies so I don't want to start supplementing without talking about it first.

 

 

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15184 - 12/29/10 08:12 PM

eternal - we start birth classes next week. It's a three week course. We're also doing breastfeeding next week, infant care in about 2 weeks and I am renewing my CPR certifications, and DH is getting his. We went baby class crazy! I am glad I am doing them now because with school having just finished and the holidays, I would have been very distracted.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15185 - 12/29/10 08:15 PM



I have a shower update....I think things are OK now, but apparently they got nasty for a bit...UGH!!

 

I talked to DH on his lunch break about my concerns about the invites not going out (the shower is supposed to Jan 16) and I asked if he could please call his mom and kindly inquire about maybe moving the shower back since she is so tired and stressed (as she loves to tell EVERYONE right now!!). DH completely agreed with me that this is getting ridiculous as far as giving people notice. I am not asking from a "send them now" place, but purely so that she knows that it won't hurt my feelings if she moved it back a couple of weeks to get some breathing room.

 

So, DH calls her (she is off on winter break right now) and just asks her when she thinks the invites will go out. He told her that I've had a few people call thinking their invite got lost in the mail (true!!) and he wanted an idea so we would know what to tell people. Immediately she gets defensive and tells him that "she just hasn't had any time at all and she is so tired!! She hasn't put the maps together yet etc". DH hears his dad in the background saying "Just send them without maps! People have GPS and if they need directions they will ask when they RSVP" (true FIL so true!!) then DH hears MIL kind of sigh or something and suddenly FIL is on the phone. FIL tells DH that "if it makes you happy I'm going to get in my car RIGHT NOW and drop these invitations off. Your mom has been so overwhelmed with you calling and badgering her about this shower all week." (OMG I am so glad that was DH on the phone because I would have hung up on him....remember that this is only DH's second call to MIL and it is in direct response to her voicemail to him last night).

 

DH told FIL that he was just trying to get an idea of a timeline since people are calling me and inquiring about it every day. He also told FIL that he was concerned with the fact that since it is a holiday weekend that even if the invites went out by Friday no one would even get 2 weeks notice to plan to come. FIL apparently completely did not recognize this fact. Suddenly he told DH that he understood and he hadn't realized it was so soon. DH again offered that they could change the date to the last week of Jan and get 2 extra weeks to get it together OR that my stepmom could handle it...whatever was least stressful for MIL. Suddenly his whole attitude changed "this is something your mother really wants to do. She really wants it to be THAT day. etc etc etc." So, the invites are going out today without maps (fine by me) and my FIL is no longer pissed about DH "badgering" his mom.

 

However, now, I'm completely WAY uncomfortable with the whole thing. I hate accepting offers of kindness (gifts, parties, or even compliments!!) and I was already feeling strange about it. Now knowing that my FIL apparently feels that we are "badgering" them about it makes me feel even worse!! DH told me not to worry about it anymore and that he would come with me to the shower even if it is supposed to be an all lady event since he knows how uncomfortable I am.

 

I feel so upset about it though because I thought after nearly 10 years together my MIL and I were close enough that she was actually offering to do this because she cared about me...now knowing that she feels like we are demanding it (which I can't even begin to understand) makes me feel like I'm "Dh's wife" rather than her daughter....I feel like an outsider in the family right now.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15186 - 12/29/10 08:21 PM



FIL may not so much think YOU are badgering, he's projecting. I will bet a million dollars that your MIL has been constantly complaining to a captive audience: him.  His son calling was just the last straw and he blew up.  Not that he felt your DH was actually badgering him.

 

It's a really bad habit but my dad does the same thing when my grandma nags him.  If my mom comes along (not aware that he has talked to grandma) and says the same thing he blows up at HER rather than at the real source because he doesn't dare blow up at his mother.


So try not to take it personally, it may just be your FI has been hearing MIL's side for days, if not weeks and your DH had the misfortune of calling at just the wrong moment.

[Virgil Showlion]

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15187 - 12/29/10 08:21 PM



insurance - we are doing 4 weeks of childbirth classes in january, then first week of Feb I have baby 101 and the last week  (ack!!) of feb we are doing the breastfeeding class.

 

I couldn't get into the infant CPR class before my due date! I have been reading on it though.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15188 - 12/29/10 08:27 PM

So try not to take it personally, it may just be your FI has been hearing MIL's side for days, if not weeks and your DH had the misfortune of calling at just the wrong moment.

Drama - you are probably right....

 

This is just so hard for me. I don't have "family" relationships like most people. Even my dad is more like extended family to me. I don't count on them for anything and like DH loves to tell me I wouldn't "ask for a glass of water if I was on fire".


The worst thing I can imagine is asking someone for something that I don't deserve or expecting someone to go above and beyond for me. For me to accept this at all was hard enough, now to basically be shown that this thing that was offered to me that I had the audacity to accept has been such a stress and inconvenience is really hard for me to stomach. I hate the idea of "burdening" anyone and this whole thing makes me feel like a demanding brat. "throw me a party NOW!!!"

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ElfQ1015
Message #15189 - 12/29/10 08:33 PM

 hate the idea of "burdening" anyone and this whole thing makes me feel like a demanding brat. "throw me a party NOW!!!"

Oh poo.  It sounds like your MIL likes to drum up any excuse she can to play martyr.  It has nothing to do with you personally, just that your pregnancy gave her a really big golden opportunity to ham it up.  It's everything to do with your MIL being a selfish brat and using what should be a happy time for you to make herself the center of attention.

 

For some people ANY attention is good attention and will get off on being a martyr because it garners them the desired attention.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15190 - 12/29/10 08:39 PM

Now knowing that my FIL apparently feels that we are "badgering" them about it makes me feel even worse!!

Eternal - remember that FIL is only working with the information that MIL is feeding him. If she's playing the martyr card with your DH, I am sure she's doing the same to FIL.

 

I can confidently say that just interacting with you on the board, it's clear you're not a demanding brat. I am sure anyone who knows you IRL would agree. Showers are just touchy because people offer to throw them, and then sometimes fail to do things the best way possible. For both of my showers, my sister and my SIL threw them respectively with our moms involved but on the sidelines. Maybe a sit down with MIL would help both of you feel better about this? Maybe DH and FIL should be there too?

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #15191 - 12/29/10 08:59 PM



insurance - I wish a sit down would work with my MIL. DH and I have tried to do something similar with her before our wedding due to some family drama...in the end it was a waste of time. I think Drama is right that she just loves playing martyr..that is the best way to get someone to come rescue you and help you and pat you on the head for even the most basic tasks.

 

I am just going to listen to DH...I won't be calling or arranging anything else with my MIL. If my stepmom asks me again I will tell her "If MIL hasn't called you then just assume she has it under control and show up as a guest. If she needs you to bring something she will let you know." and leave it at that. DH is going to go to the shower with me (I love him!!) and play interferance if any drama pops up. I have also been ordered (lol) not to show up early so as to resist any temptation to assist with the shower. He just wants me to put a pretty dress on and show up ready to be adored. My husband is so sweet.

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jenna30-
Message #15192 - 12/29/10 09:09 PM

I'm sure waking up every hour to either pee, get something to drink, or change positions isn't really helping things.

I remember those days very well.  I was looking forward to getting my body back [after giving birth] and getting decent sleep, but Mother Nature had other things in store.  I guess all the night time potty breaks were a good warm up for all the night time feedings & cat naps.

[Virgil Showlion]

jmrs318
Message #15193 - 12/29/10 09:22 PM

Meg - I'll keep you in my prayers.

"If MIL hasn't called you then just assume she has it under control and show up as a guest. If she needs you to bring something she will let you know." and leave it at that.

eternal - I'm so sorry that you MIL has caused so much stress about your shower.  The above seems like the best route to go.  Good luck and hopefully you will have a great shower !

Drama - A few weeks ago A went through a growth spurt and I had a really hard time keeping up.  She was eating 7-8 oz bottles at daycare and nursing multiple times when at home.  The way I got through it was pumping every 4 hours, no matter what.  I also pumped before nursing her in the morning, which normally was enough to make the 4th bottle needed for daycare that morning.  It wasn't a pleasant experience, but it worked.  I haven't tried it, but one of the moms at DC takes Fenugreek and swears by it.  Good luck! 

I really wanted to BF until 6 months old, but for many reasons I ended up stopping last Thursday when she turned 5 months.  I didn't think stopping would affect me as I didn't enjoy it, but now that I can't, I miss the closeness and snuggle time.  It didn't help that I couldn't hold her over the weekend because I was in so much pain.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15194 - 12/29/10 09:22 PM



Talked to the pediatrician's office and they suggested the tea Mother's Milk, which I can get easily at Hy-Vee so I will give that a go.  If it tastes nasty I will go to option #2 and have a beer.

 

The nurse told me to get a can of Lipil by Enfamil which is as close to breastmilk as I can get concerning formula.  She said if we are going to do a just in case can make sure we try giving her a bottle with breast milk in it with the formula first so she can try it out.  We don't want to wait till she is starving at daycare because she might reject the formula at first since it'll taste quite a bit different from my milk.

Any breastmilk is better than none and I wouldn't have to worry quite so much about my pumping supply.  I seem so far to be doing good at home as long as I make sure she eats off both boob and considering how often she eats.  It's pumping I am having issues with.

 

They said it may just be a huge growth spurt too and she'll settle down supply wise here soon and my boobs will catch up.  Crossing my fingers.

 

Also she will be starting solids here soon which they said will also help.

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #15195 - 12/29/10 09:24 PM

However, now, I'm completely WAY uncomfortable with the whole thing. I hate accepting offers of kindness (gifts, parties, or even compliments!!) and I was already feeling strange about it. Now knowing that my FIL apparently feels that we are "badgering" them about it makes me feel even worse!! DH told me not to worry about it anymore and that he would come with me to the shower even if it is supposed to be an all lady event since he knows how uncomfortable I am.

Your MIL is the one who offered and then whines about being expected to keep her word.  It's not like she doesn't know what is involved in throwing a baby shower.  She's problably been to dozens of them over the years.  She is the one who needs to apologize.  You have nothing to feel bad about.  A shower isn't that big of an event to plan.  Frankly, I don't see why she is so stressed about it.  This woman is acting like a child.  And for heaven's sake, don't take her up on any more offers to help, since she is clearly insincere or incompetent. 

As for your stepmom, feel free to let her know what is going on and that if the MIL can't be bothered to take her up on offers to help, she is off the hook.  In fact, if the invites don't start appearing in the next few days, I'd even let your stepmom throw a smaller shower. 

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boos_mom
Message #15196 - 12/29/10 09:33 PM



meg - I'll be thinking of you.  Hopefully, it'll turn out okay.  I think anne has Raynaud's. 

palmetto - what kind of DSLR did you get?  DH keeps playing with the DSLRs at Costco.  I don't think he'll end up using it as much as he thinks he will.  I cannot see him hauling that thing around. 

eternal - I'm glad DH is stepping up and taking care of his parents.  Don't let your experience with MIL color your entire attitude about accepting help/offers/etc.  Not everyone is like her.  You may want to prepare yourself for the shower and expect that MIL will be there trying to be the center of attention in some way.  Hopefully, your DH can keep her in check, but don't let her ruin it for you.  Just appreciate all of the folks who show up and are really happy for you and DH.

drama - I did use the tea.  Fenugreek pills didn't really help.  Adding an extra pumping session should help too.  And of course, solids!

jenna - glad things are going well! 

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ElfQ1015
Message #15197 - 12/29/10 09:42 PM

Not ready to throw in the towel just yet on EBF-ing because this is a new problem that just crept up in the past few days.  I'm going to give it a couple weeks adding a session, try the tea and go from there.  I will be getting a can of Lipil and introducing it though because it is better for the daycare to have it on hand than risk her going hungry.

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jenna30-
Message #15198 - 12/29/10 09:48 PM

Drama - I had to supplement my milk with formula.  Baby E is easily drinking 3 oz with each meal, and I'm lucky to pump 2 oz a session. 

While in the hospital, I had to start pumping when my breasts were too sore to nurse, and Baby E is reluctant to breast feed now that he's had a bottle.  He will actually turn his head/shake his head when I offer to nurse.  He might nurse for a few seconds, but it's not nearly the length of time needed to achieve any results/milk production.   He used to have a great latch, but he also had a "forceful suck" that totally killed the boobs.

[Virgil Showlion]

jenna30-
Message #15199 - 12/29/10 09:48 PM

Anyone use Amazon Mom?  I got a great deal on Huggies utilizing this service.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15200 - 12/29/10 09:53 PM



Was doing awesome and actually had oversupply issues clear till last month.  Just this week things started to get wobbly.  It's frustrating to go from one end of the specturm to the other right as I finally fixed the first problem!

 

I get about 12 oz total during the day. She's currently been eating that amount and wanting more.  14-16 oz a day seems to be about what she wants to eat and I think I can accomplish that with another pumping session.  We'll see.

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surf-n-sand
Message #15201 - 12/29/10 10:19 PM

Meg- You are in my prayers!  Easier said than done, but try not to worry.  Stress doesn't help any situation.

Eternal- I am so sorry for the drama you are going thru with MIL.  Take a deep breath and listen to your DH.  He sounds very wise and incredibly sweet about this situation!  You are the guest of honor, and you deserve to put your pretty dress on and be pampered!

Pretty darned sure I've felt the baby moving again today.  Exciting!  It seems that sometimes I feel movement more if it strikes when I have a fuller bladder. 

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15202 - 12/29/10 11:25 PM

DH is going to go to the shower with me (I love him!!) and play interferance if any drama pops up

The night before my 1st shower, I was in the hospital until 2 am with contractions. DH was worried that I would overdo it at the shower, so he came. He was the only man amongst 40 women, but was wonderful and such a good sport. I think he enjoyed opening the presents more than he'll admit, and he liked all of the women giving him attention , but it was nice that he did it. Seems like our DH's are a lot alike eternal. Try to enjoy the spoiling - heaven knows you deserve it!

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #15203 - 12/30/10 12:31 AM

eternal - I'm sorry you are having issues with your baby shower.  Hopefully, your MIL decides to do what she said she would and behave herself on the big day.  It's sweet that your DH will go with you on the big day to keep his mom in check. 

meg - Good luck with your appointment tomorrow. 

I'm doing good.  I found that if I eat every couple of hours, then I feel pretty good.  Granted, it feels likes I am eating all the time.  I have definitely noticed that I get tired easily and sooner.  It should make staying up until midnight on New Year's Eve fun!    We are spending it with my DH's best friend and wife.  I'm sure their 2.5 daughter will be bed by that time.  Both best friend and wife know I am pregnant so they won't be surprised if I crash early.  We are leaving tomorrow to travel north to MD to visit said best friend and wife, and also have dinner with DH's brother, wife, and 1 son tomorrow night.  I predict a few more stops than normal and more napping than usual too.    I hope everyone has a great New Year's and I catch y'all on the other boards (http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6723121/wir? and notmsnmoney.proboards.com/). 

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PalmettoLady
Message #15204 - 12/30/10 01:24 AM

Boos: We purchased a [www.amazon.com/Nikon-D3100-Digital-18-55mm-3-5-5-6/dp/B003ZYF3LO/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=IM4BYLNFFNF38&colid=2YRFCKLPQN35O] Nikon D3100 . It's awesome! If you do buy one just keep in mind all the "stuff" you need to go with it: case, memory card. We also purchased an additional lens for further away pics and insurance. It is bigger than the little guys, but it's really not heavy at all, I took it several places over the holidays and just transported it in it's bag until we got there and then basically left it either around my neck or on a counter for easy access.

[Virgil Showlion]

Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15205 - 12/30/10 03:56 AM

We had our first appointment yesterday - and heard a galloping little heartbeat   DH was SO excited!  I still am just kind of...blah...about it.  I am excited to have a kid, I just can't seem to get excited about the being pregnant part.  It still seems unreal.  I think everyone we know is more excited than I am right now.  I kind of feel like I am still trying to not get too attached incase something happens again. 

We go on the 13th for an u/s and screening.  Maybe seeing the lil' one moving around will help. 

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EconStudent07
Message #15206 - 12/30/10 04:04 AM

Anyone use Amazon Mom?  I got a great deal on Huggies utilizing this service.

I <3 Amazon Mom. I like the natural/chlorine free diapers, but they are insanely expensive in the store. Right now I'm using Earth's Best newborn size. At Babies R Us, they are about $0.28/diaper; with Amazon Mom, I paid $0.18/diaper.

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ladyki
Message #15207 - 12/30/10 04:43 AM



Eternal - I hope ebertyhing works out with your shower. Try not to stress out, it is not good and does not fix anthing.

 

Meg- Keep us posted on what they tell you at the doctor's tomorrow.

 

I guess all the night time potty breaks were a good warm up for all the night time feedings & cat naps.

Lol, I agree.

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ladyki
Message #15208 - 12/30/10 04:54 AM

I really wanted to BF until 6 months old, but for many reasons I ended up stopping last Thursday when she turned 5 months.  I didn't think stopping would affect me as I didn't enjoy it, but now that I can't, I miss the closeness and snuggle time.  It didn't help that I couldn't hold her over the weekend because I was in so much pain.

Same here, I wasnt one that really enjoyed breastfeeding. I originally also just wanted to do it for six months. Kiani had a congested nose a few  and would rarely take my breast. After a few days she no longer wanted it. I felt sad and dissapointed that she no longer wanted to be breastfed. I also missed the closeness and snuggle time. Kiani is a baby that loves to be kissed and hugged, she always smiles and laughs when I kiss her, so I am doing much more of that now.

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anne81
Message #15209 - 12/30/10 05:12 AM

I'm sorry I'm so far behind on this board - I've been checking proboards but haven't looked here, doh!

meg - I'm praying for you and hope you have good test results.  I have Raynaud's.  It can complicate bf'ing and healing (because your circulation isn't so hot) but is pretty easily remedied by nifedical (a high blood pressure medication that increases circulation.)  There are two types of Raynaud's and I have the less serious type.  Thinking of you.

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PalmettoLady
Message #15210 - 12/30/10 01:34 PM

I am excited to have a kid, I just can't seem to get excited about the being pregnant part.  It still seems unreal.

I think this is a perfectly normal way to feel. It's certainly how I felt. I calmed around 13 weeks when I had heard the heartbeat for a 3rd time at my 3rd appointment. It was like I had set in my mind that if I got that far, everything would be O.K. 

[Virgil Showlion]

surf-n-sand
Message #15211 - 12/30/10 02:29 PM

Sam- I still get nervous and feel scared to get too attached.  I think that is a perfectly natural feeling.  I'm 18 weeks.  I feel a little more at ease with each doctor's appointment and ultrasound.  I think I may finally relax a little if we hear that everything looks well at the 20 week ultrasound, but who knows.  From what I hear those nerves never go away from the womb throughout life. 

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surf-n-sand
Message #15212 - 12/30/10 02:35 PM

So I have to share my strange experience from last night that I'm still convincing myself was not a dream.  I kind of half woke up laying on my left side, had my right arm thrown above my head for some reason, and subconsciously touched my tummy.  I jolted.  There was something round, little, and Hard sticking out of the right side of my tummy!  Could that have been a part of the baby?!  I freaked out and rolled over really quickly by instinct.  Now, I wish I had stayed there longer and tried harder to figure out what it was.  I tried to replicate the position when I woke up and remembered the whole thing this morning, but I couldn't feel anything.  What do you guys think?  Was that possibly part of it's little body?  -Surf18wks

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ElfQ1015
Message #15213 - 12/30/10 02:40 PM



I didn't really breathe easier till I reached "full term" at 35 weeks.  I know if she was born that early she'd still have had complications but hearing the words "full term" made me breathe a little easier.  I was really nervous to get attached during the first trimester, I didn't have my first appointment till 12 weeks and besides the nausea there really wasn't much going on to reassure me that I was pregnant.

 

Once she started kicking me on a regular basis I got more connected but if she had a "lazy day" where she didn't kick me as often I would FLIP thinking something was wrong.  Then she'd kick me the next day for 12 hours straight.

 

Took DH even longer to get attached to her, it was practically the end before he really bonded with her in utero because he was so scared that we might lose her.

 

It's normal.  Then I had horrid panic attacks PP, I was convinced something bad would happen to her and I had a really hard time even leaving her alone with DH for quite awhile.  I read later that they think that is your hormones making sure you are bonded to your baby. ::shrugs::  all I know is it wasn't fun.

Even now I sometimes have a nightmare about something bad happening to her and I will panic for awhile.  I still check to see if she is breathing, the kid sleeps like the dead.

 

She seems to be getting enough b-milk at home, she went from 8 pm to -1:30 am before she got up to eat again last night, so I am hopeful for my supply. I think the holidays may have done a number on me because I EBF-ed and I did not make sure to keep the ladies on their weekly pumping schedule.  Tomorrow even if she has fed I am going to make sure I pump on my work schedule.


Going to try the tea I can get it at Hy-Vee.  If it tastes nasty I am going to have to learn to like beer instead.

 

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ElfQ1015
Message #15214 - 12/30/10 02:42 PM

 There was something round, little, and Hard sticking out of the right side of my tummy!  Could that have been a part of the baby?!

Yep.  It was either a leg or an arm.  I used to see Gwen's HEAD (or butt, I am not 100% sure. lol) pop up at around 32 weeks.  I'd see a big round mass pop up and move around for awhile before disappearing.

 

 

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regina24601
Message #15215 - 12/30/10 02:44 PM



Sam - Congrats on hearing the heartbeat!  That's amazing they were able to pick it up on the doppler so early.  I went at almost 11 weeks and they couldn't get it, so that's great for you!  And I understand about feeling detached.  I totally felt that way, too.  I knew I should be getting excited and emotional, so I kind of forced myself to go through the motions, but underneath it all, I wasn't really attached yet.  In fact, I posted on this board about what an awful mommy I felt like already because I didn't love the kid yet.  Fast forward to 38 weeks along, and I've finally become attached.  I honestly love this kid and she's not even here yet.  I could not say the same thing at 10 weeks though - it was probably 7 months or so into the pregnancy before I really felt like this was MY kid in here.

So I think you're perfectly normal - but that may not mean much coming from me. 

ETA - Oh, and people often told me the "checkpoints" at which I will probably start feeling attached:  first time I hear the heartbeat, first ultrasound, when we find out if it's a boy or a girl, first time I feel her kick, etc.  Yeah, nada.  None of those milestones did anything for me.  My bonding has been super gradual, and while all of those milestones were exciting, they did nothing for me emotionally.  Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but I just wanted to tell you that in case you also pass those milestones and still don't feel attached.

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alpha_yankee
Message #15216 - 12/30/10 03:53 PM

Sam your feelings are perfectly normal.  With DS#1, I consciously avoided getting attached during the entire pregnancy.  Many of the women in my family had experienced a full-term stillbirth, so I wanted to be emotionally prepared for that.  Then, just about an hour after he was born, they took him to the NICU because he couldn't maintain his oxygen levels.  I remember that I wasn't scared, it was more of a "I knew something was going to happen" feeling.  I didn't really start feeling hopeful or attached until they brought him back to me a few days later. 

With DS#2, the pregnancy was so difficult, I was never convinced that I was going to carry full-term.  Then, when I ruptured early and knew that he was going to be a preemie, I prepared myself for the chance that he might not survive or live for long.  Even after bringing him home at six weeks old, I had a hard time bonding.  He was a difficult baby from the beginning and we didn't get any of the normal feedback like smiles and recognition for several months because he was delayed due to prematurity.  It's really only been the last few months where we have felt truly attached to him.  For me, I am just realizing that I had some undiagnosed PPD, which didn't help the situation. 

So, don't feel bad.  In a way, it's nature's way of helping us hope for the best while preparing for the worst.  We have to be able to protect ourselves emotionally so that we can survive if the worst happens. 

I'm sending good thoughts your way and hoping you can find peace with how you feel.

[Virgil Showlion]

jmrs318
Message #15217 - 12/30/10 04:04 PM

Ladyki - A always had a bad latch and I had to use a shield in order to BF.  Using this also caused her to have gas, but she was never able to latch on to me.  I modified my diet to eliminate gassy foods and that helped a little, but not much.  When we had to add the vitamin drops, they her gave her even more gas and it was so painful for her.  We added probiotic drops, but that didn't help at all.  It came to the decision of doing what we thought was best and it seemed best to wean her.  I talked to the pedi about it and they supported the decision we put her on Gentlease, which she hasn't had any problems with.  I really wanted to make it to 6 months, but that extra month didn't seem worth it for all of the pain she was in.  I miss it now but she seems so much happier and now DH can feed her on the rare occasion that she wakes up at night.

Sam - Congrats on the heartbeat!!  I didn't really become attached until she was in my arms.  I did not enjoy being pregnant and I, like many others, had the constant fear that something was going to go wrong, so I forced myself to stay detached. 

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15218 - 12/30/10 04:21 PM

So I think you're perfectly normal - but that may not mean much coming from me. 

Of course it does, Regina

Thanks ladies, for letting me know this is perfectly normal.  I think DH is a bit worried about me.  He is starting to get really excited, and he can't understand why I am not yet.  I am excited about having a baby - I can't wait for July to get here.  I am just not super attached to this particular one just yet.  Hopefully that changes soon.

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jenna30-
Message #15219 - 12/30/10 04:56 PM

I wasn't too excited about being pregnant, either.  My first ultrasound made the pregnancy seem "real" & I did bond to the baby in utero... I just was never really excited.  To top it off, I had a rough pregnancy.

I'm an older first time mom, so I was worried through out the pregnancy about Baby E's health.  Luckily, he turned out just fine.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15220 - 12/30/10 05:04 PM

I used to get nervous at every appointment thinking this would be the time they would not find a heartbeat.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #15221 - 12/30/10 05:24 PM

I think it's biologically ingrained in us. We become the mama bear protectors and take on an almost aloof attitude during the pregnancy to prepare ourselves for the worst case scenario. I am happy and bonded to DS, but until he's here, doing well, I will still have my fears and concerns.

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ElfQ1015
Message #15222 - 12/30/10 05:27 PM

I am happy and bonded to DS, but until he's here, doing well, I will still have my fears and concerns.

I still have my fears and concerns.  DH is even WORSE, I practically have to tie him to the bed to keep him from taking her to the ER for every sniffle and cough.

[Virgil Showlion]

gardenergirl0804
Message #15223 - 12/30/10 06:10 PM

Is there anything you can give a 9-month old to ease a cough? Olivia is at home today with DH and he said she is coughing like crazy, even while she is napping. She's had this cough for I don't know how long now and when we asked the doc she said there is nothing you can give a baby. Some kind of herbal remedy? Forgive me if I've asked this question before, I can't remember...

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Momma x3-soon to be 4
Message #15224 - 12/30/10 06:30 PM

Unfortunately, there really isn't anything you can give babies under 1.  Especially not anything effective.  Over age one, you can use honey which has been shown to work as good or better than most OTC cough products.  Are you using a humidifier?  That may help some.  If it's been going on for a while (and she hasn't already seen her doctor), you may consider a visit.  Sometimes they'll have you do (prescription) breathing treatments to ease the cough.

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #15225 - 12/30/10 06:32 PM

I have heard that chocolate syrup can work like Honey to coat their throats and provide a bit of relief, but not sure where I heard that.  Poor kiddo - I hope she feels better soon!

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surf-n-sand
Message #15226 - 12/30/10 07:19 PM

Really Drama?  That's so cool if it was a baby body part!  I was thinking it was incredibly early to have body parts jetting out.  Don't know wth it would've been if not that though. 

Gardener- I hope Olivia feels better!  All I know is the humidifier as well.  Can you use vicks on a baby?  That may help loosen up whatever is causing the cough?

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emerald04
Message #15227 - 12/30/10 07:24 PM



gardner - if its bad enough, the doctor may prescribe nebulizer treatments, DD had that last month at 8 months old.  We also use a humidifier for her and DS when they have colds, and have her nap in her chair or something where she's sitting more upright. 

meg - i hope you get good news from the doctor

eternal - good luck with the shower, sometimes it seems they are more stress than they are worth.  I ended up playing some role in mine (invites for sure, I don't remember anything else specifically), because my sister basically backed out of her commitment, and I didn't want the other person trying to do everything on their own. 

I really wanted to BF until 6 months old, but for many reasons I ended up stopping last Thursday when she turned 5 months.  I didn't think stopping would affect me as I didn't enjoy it, but now that I can't, I miss the closeness and snuggle time.  It didn't help that I couldn't hold her over the weekend because I was in so much pain.

Same here, I wasnt one that really enjoyed breastfeeding. I originally also just wanted to do it for six months. Kiani had a congested nose a few  and would rarely take my breast. After a few days she no longer wanted it. I felt sad and dissapointed that she no longer wanted to be breastfed. I also missed the closeness and snuggle time. Kiani is a baby that loves to be kissed and hugged, she always smiles and laughs when I kiss her, so I am doing much more of that now.

I am at almost 9 months with EBF DD.  I EBF DS for 6 months, so we are past that point this time around.  One thing I find interesting now, is how much more interactive they get as they go along.  DD now, at times, will nurse, and when she's finished, look at my boob and poke it with her finger and basically start to play with it.  There is definitely some curiosity on her part.  When she starts that, I know she's done nursing and we move on, but its very interesting to see how interested she is.  DH thinks its very funny.   

I have checked the new boards, but they won't work at all for me at work, so I don't know how much I'll be checking in once this one is shut down.  I'm guessing rarely.  Best wishes to everyone!  Pregnancy and parenting is a very awesome journey, and I wish everyone well. 

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ElfQ1015
Message #15228 - 12/30/10 07:26 PM

I was thinking it was incredibly early to have body parts jetting out.

At around 12-14 weeks I'd see a little lump appear next to my hip and disappear every once and awhile.  DH got mad at me once because I tapped it, he was afraid I was going to give her brain damage!

 

 DD now, at times, will nurse, and when she's finished, look at my boob and poke it with her finger and basically start to play with it

Gwen has taken great delight in pinching my nipple because it elicits a response.