Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14509 - 12/10/10 04:49 PM



Avery does this thing where she teases you with the promise of affection.  I was leaving for work the other morning, so I squatted down and said, "Come here and give Mommy a kiss."  She came running up to me, all smiles, and at the last second turned and ran the other direction and looked at me and laughed.  She knows exactly what she's doing.  She's such a pill!  She did give me a kiss after that, though her kisses are just her opening her mouth a little.  She doesn't quite get it yet.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14510 - 12/10/10 05:00 PM



Gwen seems to be starting to understand kisses, she opens her mouth whenever I give her a kiss.

 

Beyond my dad's reaction last night, it really frustrated me because the daycare was talking about how HAPPY she was and then she was all smiles for DH just mere moments before I took her over.  Then she threw a fit when my dad came home and wanted to hold her.

 

So it's really hard to not take it personally, especially since at the moment she doesn't react that way with DH's parents.  She's all smiles for them.  She was all smiles for them on Sunday when she had been a mess of tears and hysteria for my parents on Saturday.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14511 - 12/10/10 06:27 PM



Thanks for the maternity clothes suggestions. Sadly, though, I think I've tried nearly all of them...

 

Old Navy - They only carry their plus maternity online and of the 24 or so pieces (TOTAL!) they only have each in a small # of sizes. You find a piece that looks like it would work, click it, and all but one size is greyed out as out of stock. Always, you guessed it, out of my size. I did order 1 dress and 5 layering tanks last night for about $50. Hopefully they will work out. I'm so nervous to but pants online...I may just have to suck it up, order a couple of sizes and return the one that doesn't fit (but that will cost me $6 to return!).

 

Motherhood Maternity - The outlet in MB is too far for me to go (several hour trip) and I've been to the regular store in my area. Same problem as Old Navy...they just do NOT have things in stock in a variety of sizes on their plus side of the store (which, I might add, is like 1/3 the size of the "regular" section). The pants there were a horrible fit. I may just have to try again and pay way too much for ill fitting pants

 

Target - Maternity only goes to XXL...which would be fine for me normally, but not with new and improved baby belly. I need 2X (which is bigger than XXL) to get the length right.... I was able to find one dress there as well that DH bought me for Xmas. It is under the tree...but I still feel self conscious in it because the bust is just TOO snug and low cut...but I have to wear SOMETHING!

 

Consignment - been there, tried that. Plus things are just hard to find used I think.

 

nasa - I will try that website when I get home!!

 

 

Econ - WOO!!! I can't wait for your birth story!

 

 

Drama - so sorry about your dad's reaction. he probably just has hurt feelings and took it out on you. Not appropriate, but I'm sure there is a lot of emotion that comes with being "rejected" by your grandchild. Gwen sees your families a lot more than Cole will ever see ours (2 hour trip to see them), maybe it is just like your mom said...family overload?

 

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kjsh
Message #14512 - 12/10/10 06:53 PM

Yay Econ!!!!! Come on out little baby

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ElfQ1015
Message #14513 - 12/10/10 07:05 PM



Maybe or I keep wondering if something is somehow different from Thanksgiving that neither my dad or I notice but Gwen is picking up.

 

He tried to keep letting her know it was okay, but she kept getting louder and more hysterical and that was when I was ordered to leave.

 

I don't want her to start thinking there IS something wrong with my dad based on our reactions, but I am also really paranoid now and not sure how to proceed from here.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14514 - 12/10/10 07:15 PM

I am also really paranoid now and not sure how to proceed from here.

Proceed just like you always have.  Please do not be paranoid.  If you go there and Gwen gets upset, just hold her yourself.  And keep everyone calm.  I really don't think this is a big deal (in terms of something being wrong.  I know it's a big deal to you, and I understand that.).

[Virgil Showlion]

yogiii
Message #14515 - 12/10/10 07:27 PM

I really don't think this is a big deal (in terms of something being wrong.  I know it's a big deal to you, and I understand that.).

I agree completely.

 

If you or your Dad stress out when she starts to cry, she can sense that and it could be why she got even more hysterical.  Babies communicate through crying and they can get seperation anxiety too.  Stressing about Gwen's reaction to someone will only make things worse.  She will sense the stress and get anxious herself. 

 

Just try to hit the reset button Drama and act normal.  Gwen will snap out of it, most likely it was just coincidence.

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yogiii
Message #14516 - 12/10/10 07:30 PM

Where is azure?

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ElfQ1015
Message #14517 - 12/10/10 07:31 PM

And keep everyone calm

If I could keep my dad calm then I am a miracle worker.  I doubt last night helped with her wanting to be friendly.

 

I just don't know what to do because I want to get her over it, but if this is how it is going to be then how are we supposed to get over the hump?   I am thinking we just have to tough it out till she is all smiles again, but she isn't going to be all smiles if she associates grandpa with loud and scary.

 

 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14518 - 12/10/10 07:31 PM



I just have to share part of a post from my friend's blog because it's cracking me up, and I think it will make most of you moms or soon-to-be moms laugh.  My friend has a 3-year-old daughter and an 8-month-old son.  She mentioned that her little girl has learned some tough lessons for a 3-year-old this week.  Number 2 on the list is my favorite:

  1. You can put your swimming suit on if you want to, but you won't be going swimming with Santa at the North "Pool." 2. Glue sticks and lip gloss might look the same, but they're not. 3. Just because R has a couple teeth doesn't mean he can eat what you eat, just like having hands doesn't mean he can catch. 4. It's not necessary to try to fit "butt crack" into every conversation just because you find it hilarious.
5. Mommy will not be happy if you the entire jar of sprinkles into the dirty dishwater to make your "vegetable soup."

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poohbiscit
Message #14519 - 12/10/10 07:49 PM

Eternal. I suggest the website onestopplus dot com. I am not a big girl myself but my mom is and I found that they have a very good selection. I did a quick check and they have a maternity section too..

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GusitaRenker
Message #14520 - 12/10/10 08:08 PM

Yay Econ! Wishing you a happy, smooth delivery! How sweet of your baby girl; she waited for you to finish that last final before making her appearance!

DH texted me awhile ago and said Avery was crying because she was trying to walk around the house carrying 3 balls, but she kept dropping one, and she was mad.

LOL, this just sounds too precious.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #14521 - 12/10/10 08:17 PM



kgb - I was anxious more because I was totally exhausted before it was time to even push.  Contractions had started the evening before, so I hadn't slept most of the night, I'd been at work the entire day before and just had been having crappy sleep that week.  The epidural didn't stop the back labor pains, so I wasn't able to rest before it was time to push.  I knew I wasn't going to make it through 1.5 hrs of pushing.  So, I was anxious b/c I was worried I wouldn't be able to get him out and end up with a c/s.  So, when they said it shouldn't be very long, that kind of gave me that surge to get through it.  I agree that I knew I had done it before, but it was different circumstances the first time, I was a lot more rested to begin with (in comparison) for #1's delivery, plus no back labor, so once I had the epi, I could rest before the pushing.

drama - it may help that if someone wants to carry Gwen, they try and take her in a different room and distract her.  It is a phase, and sometimes it does work, but other times, the baby just gets madder b/c they know where mommy is.  But, seriously, no one should be offended (although I do know certain of my relatives got miffed when that phase came on).  Either you don't mind and still hold and try to comfort the screaming baby, or you give the kid back and maybe try to ease into it and just play with baby while mommy is holding her.

eternal - did you know nordstrom.com has maternity clothes?  It's not that cheap, but they have a nordstromrack section online and I saw a bunch of plus size maternity stuff on it (don't know if it was 2X though).  The rack items were pretty reasonable but not necessarily a huge variety of clothes that may fit your needs.

econ - good luck!!!  Don't forget to let the hospital know when your water broke when you do go there.  So they'll know not to check you very often and also keeping delivery timeframes in mind. 

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14522 - 12/10/10 08:21 PM

Suddenly, this week....BOOM! No weight change, but all my tops are too short, my skirts are falling down (literally "whoosh" to the floor on 2 occassions...thank goodness I was home or in the driveway and no one was around) I guess my belly changing shape is making my skirts not fit around my waist/hips anymore...how can I get bigger, but my clothes be looser? How can I gain no weight, but my shirts suddenly be too small? I looked in the mirror this morning and it is like I suddenly grew a soccer ball! Weird! Most plus size women I have seen didn't look PG until like 8 months.

Eternal - I know what you mean. My net pregnancy weight change is -2 lbs at 29 weeks along, but somehow, this child has pushed my belly way out! I found some maternity pants that I actually liked at Motherhood Maternity outlet. I bought two pairs of jeans for $35 total (I can wear jeans to work) so I alternate pairs and they've been a great investment. Most of my tops that I wore pre-pregnancy were floaty, bigger shirts, so I've continued wearing most of those, except I've need some longer t-shirts recently since the band of the maternity pants were beginning to show.

 

I was in L&D again on Tuesday night with the same contractions. I am now on a prescription of Terbutaline 2x a day to keep them at bay. Seems to be working and I have not had any cervical changes, which is good. My primary OB was on call that night and at the hospital. She came to manually check my cervix and said I was closed and thick, but she was surprised by how low the baby was. He's been hanging out down low since I could feel him, so I guess it's not that weird. He's so active and it feels like his foot is just going to fall out of me because he is so low.

 

Tomorrow is DH and my 4 year wedding anniversary. We don't have anything fun actually planned. We have a lot of family obligations and he really needs to be painting the nursery. Plus, I have final papers to write by next Sunday, so it probably won't be very exciting. In one way, I understand why, but I am disappointed at the same time because this will be our last anniversary before DS arrives. I haven't told DH that I'm sort of disappointed because I don't want to upset him. Argh, stupid pregnancy hormones make me crazy!

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14523 - 12/10/10 08:22 PM

Econ - good luck and best wishes for an easy delivery and healthy LO!!

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14524 - 12/10/10 08:41 PM

Econ - Good luck!  Today is a great day to have your LO as today is the anniversary of my DH and I being together (12 years). 

Eternal - Good luck finding clothes!  Unfortunately, I don't know of any stores as I don't wear those sizes but I hope you can find something reasonable priced.    However, congratulations on your weight loss before pg. 

Drama - I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but I think it would be a stage that Gwen is going through.  Hopefully, it ends soon. 

kgb (I think) - Funny list! 

Maternity Clothes - Thanks for the website ideas and other store ideas to look for maternity clothes.  I get the joy of trying to find petite pants.    So far, I only have a pair of shorts that I found on clearance at Kohl's before I found out I pg.  Right now, it is too cold to wear shorts in Florida.  Also, I don't need them right now as my regular clothes are still fitting fine considering I'm only 6 weeks along on our 1st.

Right now, I'm watching a webinar on Form 990 (not-for-profit tax return) and talk about BORING.    For the majority of clients, what they are talking about has no bearing on them, but you never know what comes up.  It also doesn't help that I want to take a nap.  I may after the webinar ends in about a half hour.  It doesn't help that I go to bed way too late and get up too early the last few days.  Thankfully, my DH won't be getting home for at least another 2 hours so I could take a nap. 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14525 - 12/10/10 08:47 PM

I was anxious more because I was totally exhausted before it was time to even push.  Contractions had started the evening before, so I hadn't slept most of the night, I'd been at work the entire day before and just had been having crappy sleep that week.  The epidural didn't stop the back labor pains, so I wasn't able to rest before it was time to push.

That was pretty much my situation, too, minus the back labor.  I had the false, really intense urges to push that kept me awake.  DH tried to stop me from going to work that last day, but I was stubborn and went anyways.  I was trying to hang in there as best I could.  After about 2 1/2 hours of pushing I finally looked at the nurse and said, "Do you think it's going to be much longer because I need to get this baby out of me."

insurance, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the meds work and your LO decides to hang out for awhile longer.  Take it easy and rest.  Happy Anniversary!

taz, Happy Anniversary!

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14526 - 12/10/10 08:52 PM

Insurance - happy anniversary!  Hopefully that little one stays put awhile longer!

Drama - my niece & nephew both did the exact same thing.  But it wasnt with grandpa - it was with me .  If my sister or mom were in the same room & the babies could hear their voices, I could not hold them.  If I walked into another room it was fine.  My nephew stayed that way until he was almost 3 , but my niece grew out of it a lot faster (maybe 7-9 months or so).  My mom said all four of us did the same thing to our grandpa too.  Hopefully she outgrows it soon, and your dad is in a better mood next time he sees her. 

Taz - Happy Anniversary to you too!!

I am so excited - I just got the quant/progesterone screen tests back.  Looks like this little one is hopefully going to stick   Still have a few more weeks to go before I feel confident about it, but that at least makes me feel a LOT better. 

[Virgil Showlion]

taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14527 - 12/10/10 08:53 PM

insurance - Happy Anniversary!    Maybe you and DH could go out to your favorite restaurant for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate or could just rent a movie and cuddle up on the couch at night. 

kgb - Thanks!    We aren't doing anything as we really don't celebrate it anymore since we've gotten married.  We had gotten married after dating for 5.5 years (engaged for 1 year); however, we did celebrate the 10th anniversary as it was milestone-type one. 

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ElfQ1015
Message #14528 - 12/10/10 08:55 PM

DH tried to stop me from going to work that last day, but I was stubborn and went anyways.

So did my DH. I was sick and having really bad BHs the day before, he REALLY did not want me to go in but I was trying not to be one of "those" pregnant women so fondly talked of on YM (still want to know what the hell I was thinking!) and I was insistent on getting as much work done as possible because I wasn't due till August 1st.

 

That day was MISERABLE and finally convinced me to stay the heck home, but then I went into labor at midnight instead.

 

I didn't sleep either, I was too hopped up on adrenaline.  I got thru labor pretty easily all things considered.

 

I would not have been able to do it without the epidural. I was way too sick and exhausted by the time I got to the hospital.  I had to admit to myself that "natural" childbirth was a nice idea but simply did not fit with current reality.  There was no way I'd have the energy or stamina to do it.

 

Lesson learned if I get pregnant again and feel like that much crap, STAY HOME.  Who cares if I twiddle my thumbs for another two weeks, beats going into labor feeling like I did.

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14529 - 12/10/10 08:55 PM

I am so excited - I just got the quant/progesterone screen tests back.  Looks like this little one is hopefully going to stick   Still have a few more weeks to go before I feel confident about it, but that at least makes me feel a LOT better.

Yeah!!  That's excellent news! 

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14530 - 12/10/10 08:58 PM



kgb - I love that list!

 

taz - happy anniversary to you also! I know what you mean. We had our company holiday party last night and I got to be DD. I didn't get home until late, stayed up answering emails and had to be up early this morning. Sitting here doing payroll and bank recs make me want to sleep. We have dinner plans with family tonight, but not until later. I am definitely napping when I get home.

 

sam - I am glad to hear about your tests - thinking of you!

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ElfQ1015
Message #14531 - 12/10/10 09:00 PM

Taz, Sears sells maternity clothes and they have petite maternity jeans.  They don't always carry the clothes in store, but they have the entire collection available online.  I got mine there for $30.

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14532 - 12/10/10 09:23 PM

Drama - Thanks for the tip! 

insurance - At work today I got to spend some time wrapping presents that my boss's non-profit purchased for a needing family that he is hoping to deliver this weekend.    Needless to say, that wasn't boring.  Beforehand, I was recalculating a client's penalties and interest from the IRS on some amended returns and also trying to understand how the IRS got some figures.  Needless to say, my dad wasn't boring beforehand.  It was just when I got home to watch the webinar that it got boring.  Some of the classes get a little too involved for my clients so its irrelevant to my needs.  Right now, I am rotting brain cells watching Maury doing his daily DNA tests.    After all, nothing says family harmony when Brother A wants a DNA test on his nephew as Brother A believes that Brother B's wife-to-be is a cheater and doesn't think Brother B is the father of the nephew (Brother B's baby). 

[Virgil Showlion]

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14533 - 12/10/10 09:39 PM



insurance - i will be keeping you in my thoughts!!! Baby has got to keep baking in there! Happy anniversary as well. Try to make some time to do a little something together. It doesn't have to be a big planned production to be romantic. Maybe go out to lunch together this weekend?

 

taz - happy anniversary!

 

Sam - So glad to hear about your tests! keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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KRR627
Message #14534 - 12/10/10 09:41 PM

DH texted me awhile ago and said Avery was crying because she was trying to walk around the house carrying 3 balls, but she kept dropping one, and she was mad.

KGB - LOL!  Your Avery sounds like she is going to be a high achiever - trying to do everything!

 

Econ - wow, good luck! 

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973beachbum
Message #14535 - 12/10/10 09:50 PM

Thanks for the maternity clothes suggestions. Sadly, though, I think I've tried nearly all of them...

eternal did you try JCPenny.com?  They have a huge selection of plus size stuff in kids, juniors and adults online.  I have never seen maternity plus in the stores so I think it is exclusive to the online.   I checked and they do have clothes in size category maternity plus and it goes up to 4XL.  They seemed to have a large selection and if you don't like something you can always return it at the store for no charge. 

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KRR627
Message #14536 - 12/10/10 10:02 PM



Insurance - hope that baby decides to stay a while longer.  Happy anniversary!

 

Taz - happy anniversary!

 

Drama - I don't have any advice regarding Gwen, but hoping the situation gets better soon.  Hang in there!

 

Eternal - good luck on the clothes hunting.  I hope you can find some comfortable, awesome pieces at reasonable prices. 

 

Sam - great news on the test results.  Woo hoo!

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surf-n-sand
Message #14537 - 12/10/10 10:12 PM

Lots of good news on the board!

Econ- Best of luck bringing your baby girl into the world!  How exciting!

Jenna- I'm hoping you are happily holding your little one right now!

Sam- Congrats on the test results!

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14538 - 12/10/10 10:54 PM

973 - Thanks I'll check in to JCPenny! Being able to return to the store is a BIG plus. Old Navy used to do that, but all the stuff I ordered yesterday said it must be returned via mail and they charge you $6 to return!! WTH?

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14539 - 12/11/10 06:04 PM



Looks like DH might have been right and it was just bad timing/luck because I took Gwen over to my parents today at around 10:00 am and she was all smiles for both of them.  It made me feel a lot better and I think it made my dad's day.

 

My mom was reading up about fighting sleep, which Gwen does A LOT, what she read said that some babies come to associate particular people with sleep and will have a tantrum if handed to them because they think they will be put down for a nap and miss something.  She ALWAYS falls asleep on my dad whenever we are over there and for quite awhile he was the only one who could calm her down to sleep.

 

So instead of holding her against him, he held her out more away from him, which seemed to work. Then when she started to get fussy I brought her home, fed her and laid her down promptly for a nap.  That's what we are going to do from now on.  Mom thinks also we haven't been reading her signals and she's been pissed at us for that.  So maybe if we show her we acknowledge she is tired, she'll be less likely to have a temper tantrum.

 

I got her taking a napy in her crib right now.  I want to transition her but DH isn't ready.  I keep trying to tell him that we should do it sooner rather than later because teh longer we wait, the more she is going to resist because she's already formed her sleep habits.  So I am trying naps in the crib while he is at work to get her adjusting and show him that she lived to wake up.


That stupid SIDS video from the hospital has him all paranoid, he keeps insisting we have to keep her in our room till she can roll over.  No way to get thru to him that she could be close to eight months by the time she rolls completely over!  That's quite a long time before we suddenly decide to switch out her beds. 

I said he can be the one to switch her if he wants to go that long, it'll be his battle to fight since he started it!

 

She seems happy in it, she has lots of room to try to roll over and a musical mobile that keeps her occupied.  I had to take all the crib bumpers off, that was fun, stupid knots.

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14540 - 12/11/10 08:11 PM

Drama - Yeah on Gwen not screaming with your Dad!!    I bet that made his day!! 

In past day or 2, more food aversions have started or at least trying to find something appetizing to eat.    For breakfast, I had some Berry Blast Cheerios and only ate a few ****.  It just didn't taste good even thought it was probably perfectly fine.    Then I had half a bagel with cream cheese which was okay.  Also, I have trouble even getting full at times too.  For lunch, I made grilled cheese sandwich and cream of tomato soup.  I had made grilled cheese sandwiches a few days ago for dinner and they were delicious.  Today's, not so much.  I barely ate half of the soup, in where I can normally eat almost all of it.  Then I had 2 Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos, which I LOVE; however, I had to chock down the 2nd one.  A little bit later, I had a Polar Raspberry Del Monte Fruit Chillers and that was pretty good.    I am currently 6 weeks, will be 7 weeks on Monday and my 1st doctor's appointment is the following Monday, when I'm 8 weeks.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14541 - 12/11/10 09:59 PM



taz - Yep...I went through that too. I just had to keep eating the bite or two of whatever I could. I lost 17lbs in the first tri..mostly due to an inability to really eat enough. One thing that worked was recognizing that after a few **** of anything suddenly the next bite woud taste funny..that meant I needed to spit it out. If I choked down even one more bite, I would throw up later. I just tried to prepare small portions (like half a grilled cheese sandwich, a small bowl of cereal, etc) and if I made it throught that, then I would make some more. If not, I was throwing away food all day long.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14542 - 12/11/10 11:46 PM



Hey I hope all is going well with all of you guys. Do any of you have the link that Anne posted about car seat dimensions? We finally bought a new to us vehicle and fortunately DS cooperated by still fitting in his Chicco Keyfit 30 until now, but we are just about an inch from the top. So we need to find something new soon.   Thanks!

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ElfQ1015
Message #14543 - 12/12/10 12:14 AM

 Also, I have trouble even getting full at times too

My sympathies, I went thru that as well.  If it makes you feel better it is quite common to LOSE weight during hte first trimester, so don't get freaked out if the scale does not rise or even drops.  Your appetite will return eventually.

 

That being said whatever you find you can eat, eat it till you get sick of it.  Even if it means you are like me and go thru a phase where all you live off of is chicken nuggets and peanut butter sandwiches.

 

My OB said as long as you are not craving things like chalk, dirt, laundry detergent (all signs of Pica) if you find you crave something go ahead and eat it.  Lots of books recommend not doing that because of the dreaded "weight gain", but if you are having nauseua/aversion problems it's  better to eat whatever it is you are in the mood for than try to force yourself to eat something else and vomit it up later.

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taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14544 - 12/12/10 01:15 AM

Thankfully, I haven't experienced the vomiting/nausea (yet).  So far, I haven't been having cravings and definitely NOT for chalk, dirt, or laundry detergent.    Drama, I do remember you talking about the chicken nuggets so I'll probably try them sometime this week.  Luckily, there is a McDonald's close to where I work and luckily I like them anyway. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14545 - 12/12/10 01:54 AM

Taz, my nurse said to try orange foods (oranges, sweet potatoes, carrots).  She said that babies really like them   We went out to dinner last night to a buffet, so I got a plate full of fresh fruit.  The oranges & grapes tasted awesome!  They seem to calm down my stomach too when I get too queasy.  I bought a 10lb bag of oranges today & have already had a couple of them. 

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EconStudent07
Message #14546 - 12/12/10 01:05 PM

Hey girls, I haven't had time to read all of the posts yet, but I wanted to let you know that Magdalyn was born on Friday at 9:33 p.m. She was 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 20.5 inches long. She is just perfect; I love her so much. The labor and birth went really well. Breastfeeding is a little rough, but she is doing great. I'm just a little sore!

I'm typing one-handed right now because Maggie doesn't want to sleep, so I'll post more details later.

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yogiii
Message #14547 - 12/12/10 02:16 PM

muttley - sites.google.com/site/carseatmeasurements/  
How is Ben doing?

Econ - congrats!! Glad to hear everything went well and Maggie is healthy.  BFing is challenging at first, don't worry.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14548 - 12/12/10 03:08 PM

So far, I haven't been having cravings and definitely NOT for chalk, dirt, or laundry detergent

Not all women do.  It's called Pica where you want to complusively eat strange (usually non-food) items.  Common ones for pregnant women are chalk and dirt.   I had a mild form where I fantasized about eating large portions of raw steak.  Instead I ate my steak a little pinker than normal because it's not a good idea to be eating raw meat.

 

I just wanted to throw out there that as long as it is normal if you crave it go ahead and eat it right now.


White and brown foods can be good, bread, rice, waffles etc.  They are easy on the stomach.

 

I had awful cotton mouth, I'd gag after a few ****.  I would take a sip of water with every bite and that seemed to help me get down more food because it was softer and moister.

 

Congrats Econ!

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regina24601
Message #14549 - 12/12/10 06:00 PM



Econ - Congrats!!    Happy birthday, Maggie!!!

Did any of you ladies fall down while pregnant?  I'm 35.5 weeks, and I've fallen twice.  Once was just falling up the stairs at my house, and I caught myself with my hands and knees, so I wasn't worried.  But I fell down outside in our yard yesterday morning.  The full force of the fall didn't land on my belly, but I did end up there after my hands and knees didn't fully catch me.  My face is all bruised and scraped up, and my shoulder and knee look like I've been in a nasty farm accident, but I'm otherwise okay.  I asked my sister what I should do, and she suggested checking the baby's movements.  She's been moving pretty regularly since then, so I decided not to call my doctor or the L&D department, but I can't shake this nagging feeling that I may have hurt her.  Of course, googling the thing doesn't help because it says at this late stage of pregnancy there isn't as much fluid in there to protect her from falls, so that didn't help ease my mind.

I'll survive my bruises and cuts, but I'm just worried about the little one.  Anyone out there go through a fall?

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14550 - 12/12/10 07:30 PM

Oh no, Regina!  Maybe call your Dr in the morning & see if they can get you in for a quick check, just to be sure.  I hope little LMSK is alright!!

Econ - congrats!  I love the name - beautiful! 

[Virgil Showlion]

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14551 - 12/12/10 10:18 PM



Econ - Oh how wonderful!!! I can't wait for pictures!!

 

regina - my baby books say that falls are normal (there is even this exact question in the "what to expect" book). Basically it says that baby is very well protected in there and that it is pretty rare for a standard slip and fall to hurt baby. If you are really worried ask your doc, but the book made it sound like no big deal.

 

maternity clothes - OK....I admit I was wrong about motherhood! Usually plus sections that only sell in X's (vs actual numbered sizes) fit me HORRIBLY, but I was able to fit the clothes there and SURPRISE they even had plus maternity PETITE....that is like 3 speciality things in one. The length on the pants was perfect. I haven't bought any new clothes since all my weight loss, so I guess I was just expecting my normal issues. Instead, I went in planning to try on mostly 3X's in pants....yea...I left with 3 pairs of pants. I bought 1 pair of jeans and a black pair in 1X and another pair of the same black in 2X (they just look like wide leg pants with the extra room). I haven't been in a 1X in a LONG time. But, losing 45+lbs make a big difference I guess. I realize now that I've been pinning my clothes tighter and tighter for a year. I also got 2 tops. I fit the 1X just fine, but I bought them in 2X so that I don't have to go back and buy new ones for bigger belly that is sure to be growing. I start my 3rd tri next week, so I didn't want to go buy more in a month.

 

DH also took me to target and I got 2 new pairs of black flats to go with my black pants since I mostly just have brown shoes. I didn't realize just how pregnant I looked until I put on maternity clothes. It made me tear up in the store!! I know it sounds silly, but being plus I just have resigned myself to clothes never really being "right" for me and I settle for "big enough" rather than "flattering". I felt SO pretty when I left the store! I got a fresh haircut yesterday and I feel like $1million bucks!! WOOT!!

 

ETA: 3 pants, 2 shirts, 2 pairs of shoes = $165! Add that to the 5 long layering tanks and a dress from old navy at $55 and the t-shirt, cardigan, and dress from target the other day at $20 and I have spent a total of $240 on maternity clothes. Not too shabby.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14552 - 12/12/10 10:21 PM



Yogiii - THanks! DS is doing great.  He's had a couple really minor colds, but otherwise has been completely healthy.  He's getting up the courage to let go and take his first steps, but right now he's not ready to let go.  How is your DS doing?

Econ -Congrats.

---

sbcaligirl
Message #14553 - 12/12/10 10:54 PM

Well, we made it San Diego relatively unscathed.  DD did pretty well on the plane and while she barely sat in her own seat, I'm glad we did buy her a seat because the plane was completely full!  Today, we went to the mall and got DH some shoes and I finally got fitted for a new bra.  I was wearing completely the wrong size and was super uncomfortable.  I don't feel like I've gotten that much bigger this time around so maybe I was just wearing the wrong size since after DD's birth but I finally feel like I'm supported and can wear an underwire for the first time in FOREVER.  Now if I can just survive another day and a half with my MIL, things will be good

---

taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14554 - 12/13/10 01:30 AM

Econ - Congratulations on baby girl! 

Sam - Thanks for the tip on orange foods.  We do have some clementines at home that I haven't tired, but I have my fingers crossed.  Also, I like carrots anyway so I'm hoping. 

Eternal - Congratulations on your maternity clothing finds!    I'm glad to hear that you feel like a million bucks and I'm sure your DH noticed it too. 

Well, I can definitely say that my food aversions and pickness is picking up.    Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night hungry.  I managed to eat a 1/4 of bagel and then feel asleep on the couch.  When my kitties woke me up for food, I finished the other 1/4 of the bagel as I only heated up 1/2 of bagel and didn't add any cream cheese as I normal do.  Then today, DH and I went to a tailgate for the Jags game.  [Way to go Jags!  What a game!  ]  Anyway, one of the things someone cooked was a carne (sp?) steak with tortillas.  Needless to say, seeing the steak did not do well for my stomach.  I couldn't even eat it or look at or else I could get sick.    I told my DH that, he said ok and it's only carne steak with a tortilla and it's pretty good.    I tried telling him that it doesn't look good to me and I'll think I throw up.  I can see disagreements in our future because he'll think I'm crazy and it's only food and not going to hurt you.    Trying telling that to my stomach....  After all, I'm only like 5 minutes pregnant (gist of his words).  He also wondered if it was normal, and I said yes, it could last for the next few weeks or until the end.  I think he thinks I'm crazy!    Also, the thought of chocolate doesn't sound appealing to me and I love chocolate. 

However, I do have to wonder how some people (like Michelle Duggar) can go through 19 times.  That's alot of times of feeling like crap. 

---

KRR627
Message #14555 - 12/13/10 02:10 AM

Econ - congrats!  Glad to hear things are going well.  Best of luck with breastfeeding!

Muttley - glad to "see" you here again.  Hope all is well with you!

Regina - I don't have any personal experience to share, but I prayed for you and baby LMSK.

Eternal - so excited that you found some great clothing!  I always feel more confident in clothes that fit well and look good.

Taz - sorry to hear your DH isn't quite understanding your food aversions.  I suppose it's hard to understand if you've not experienced it yourself.    Hoping that it doesn't last long and you can go back to normal!

---

taz157 - 10 wks
Message #14556 - 12/13/10 02:32 AM

My DH's response - Truthfully, I'm not surprised with his response about my food aversions at all.  I knew it was going to happen.    When I wasn't pg, there were items that he would eat and I would want to throw up.  Now, it's just more things.    Trust me, I know it's all me because there were several others that were eating what he ate without a problem.    Keep in mind, he is a great hubby.    I just needed to vent to ladies that would understand. 

[Virgil Showlion]

azure sky
Message #14557 - 12/13/10 02:50 AM

Econ -- Woohoooo! Congratulations! Welcome to the world, Maggie

Mutt -- Glad to see you around. I've been asking about you Isn't it coming on Benji's first birthday?

Regina -- I had a fall during pregnancy, and the doctors think it may be one reason why I had a meconium poop while in labor. Everything turned out fine for me, meconium and all, but I would at least call your DR's. They did a non-stress test for me, and at the least it was reassuring.

I've been MIA for awhile--busy, busy with the end of the semester, Christmas, and a book deadline. I know the last page I read was 1172, so we'll see if I catch up .  I'm glad I came back just in time to see that Econ's little girl made it here safe and sound.

---

regina24601
Message #14558 - 12/13/10 04:03 AM



Thanks for the advice and support, ladies - and thanks for your prayers, KRR.  I'm not even a religious person but I got teary eyed when I read that.  Strangers on the internet...yet it means a lot.  I think I'm going to call the doc tomorrow just to make sure he's okay waiting to see me (regular appt is on Tuesday).  I'll let you all know what he says.

eternal - I'm glad you were able to find some good maternity clothes!  I know how exciting it is to finally look officially pregnant in clothes.  Very exciting!!

Mutt and azure - Good to hear from you both!

 

---

GusitaRenkr
Message #14559 - 12/13/10 05:51 AM

Econ-YAY, congrats on your little Maggie! I Hope your soreness is improving!

Regina-Ouch, you poor thing! It sounds like you really took a tumble. I hope your scratches and bruises are feeling better. The handout my doctor gave me says that as long as there is no bleeding, leaking fluid, cramping, or reduced movement from the baby that things should be fine, but that it certainly doesn't hurt to call the doctor, if anything for the peace of mind.

Eternal-Glad you could find some cute clothes that make you feel gorgeous! Everyone woman deserves that, no matter what her size. I love the Motherhood Maternity store; their prices are great and they have such cute, flattering stuff.

Taz-Sorry your DH isn't being more understanding about your food aversions! LOL, the first time I turned down BBQ ribs and filet mignon, my DH knew something was seriously wrong I used to love steak and ribs, but just haven't had a taste/appetite for either since I got pregnant. I am hoping my taste comes back once baby Brett is evicted. I feel silly going to the steak house with DH and chowing down on salad and yeast rolls (although the rolls are heavenly!)

I hope all you Midwest ladies are staying warm and safe in all the snow you are getting! We had a few snow showers today, but not enough to stick or anything. Just enough to make it feel Christmasy.

---

yogiii
Message #14560 - 12/13/10 12:03 PM



I have a food question, when did you start your little ones on 3 meals?

 

DS is a good eater.  He will be 7 months this week and has only been eating solids since turning 6 months.  He's already eating two meals that are a decent size.  He eats about half a cup of oatmeal with a little fruit in the morning and at night he has a half cup or maybe a little more of veggies with either avocado or sweet potato.  He's still doing 1 MOTN feeding but I'm hoping we can cut that out after the holidays.  I'm thinking that he can probably handle having a 3rd meal in a couple weeks but I don't want to push it and decrease the milk he drinks.  Right now it seems like he is drinking a similar amount to before he started solids (also I think he's 14.5lbs now, almost up 2lbs since his 6 month appt ).

 

Another question (I'm full of them today), when did you start giving meat?  Some websites say 8-10 months but I was just curious what some of you were doing.

 

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14561 - 12/13/10 02:04 PM



Econ - congrats!!!  I'm so glad you had a safe delivery and a beautiful baby girl. Can't wait to hear more about her!

 

eternal - I felt like that too when I tried on maternity clothes for the first time! Like I finally looked pregnant and was pretty! Glad you got a maternity wardrobe and a new hairdo and you feel better!

 

regina - I hope you are feeling better! That can be scary to fall like that so late in the pregnancy. Someone else mentioned it, but I had read that too in what to expect they talk about falling. Hope the little one is ok and you got checked out. Hope your bumps and bruises heal up quickly!

 

Taz - men just don't understand. Hopefully after you explain it to him, that even just looking or thinking about certain foods will make you sick he will be more understanding and thoughtful about it. It's usually this early on in the pregnancy that it happens! So even if you are only 5 minutes pregnant or however he worded it, he needs to understand that this is when it happens! Hopefully by 2nd tri of way before then you will be feeling better.

 

yogii - Olivia is almost 9 months but she's still only taking 2 meals a day, if I can get her to even take them!. I would say it's up to the baby. If DS seems ready for 3 meals a day I would say give it to him. I've been giving her baby food with meat in it. She didn't seem to care for it at first but now she likes it. We've only tried baby foods with chicken and turkey, no beef yet. I did slip her a super tiny piece of pot roast at this restaurant a couple months ago, she seemed to like the taste but just sucked on the meat and spit it out.

 

Olivia has been ok. Little teething monster I think because she has been a drool machine!!  I had the flu over the weekend. Went to bed feeling fine Thursday night, 1 am I woke up and  until 12 Friday afternoon. I managed to get down 2 pieces of dry toast, an apple and some oatmeal that day and that was it. My boss just saw me and said I still look pale. I said I didn't feel back to being myself until yesterday afternoon finally. It was bad. Then I think I gave it to DH. He started throwing up this morning.  It's so cold her for this area. 7 with the wind chill. BRRRRR. And it's been snowing since yesterday afternoon. No accumulation but it's pretty to see.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14562 - 12/13/10 02:32 PM

throw up.  I can see disagreements in our future because he'll think I'm crazy and it's only food and not going to hurt you.    Trying telling that to my stomach....  After all, I'm only like 5 minutes pregnant (gist of his words). 

Barf on him, then he will get it.

 

Meat aversion is really common.  Mine was towards chicken and pork.  I still have a pork aversion, cooking it made my stomach clench.  Chicken I have gotten past finally.  I couldn't handle raw chicken or cook chicken without wanting to vomit. 

 

He's just going to have to get it thru his head that this is a normal part of pregnancy.  Anytime Dh was an a** I would bring it up with my OB and she would set him straight.  If he can have him go with you to your next appointment and talk to the doctor about food aversions.  My DH has "white coat syndrome" so he takes whatever my doctors says as gold.  Which irritates me sometimes because *I* just said that!  But if it gets him to shut up and leave me alone, I'll take what I can get.

 

Question for you ladies, when did you start to enjoy sex again?  DH and I are fighing about it because he keeps insisting something is WRONG with me and I need to go to the doctor to get it fixed.  Sex is still really uncomfortable for me and I keep trying to tell him it is because I am dry due to breastfeeding.  Well he is skeptical because he doesn't get what my boobs have to do with down there.  Don't know what a doctor can do besides poke and prod em which I've had enough of.   Plus my clinic is now on Christmas break, so what good does that do?

 

I can't get thru to him that by him talking about how there must be something WRONG with me doesn't exactly put me in a romantic mood. It makes me feel like crap because I am not swinging from the chandielers like I guess most women who are done being pregnant are. 


Then he "doesn't want to do it because it hurts me".  Yeah that makes me want to shimmy shammy.  Now I REALLY feel guilty and like crap because I am not enjoying it and I am not a good enough actor to fake it.

 

We don't get a lot of time together on the weekdays because he works at 4 am and goes to bed at 7:00 pm.  I don't get home till 4:30 and then I have to get things ready for daycare, cook dinner, breastfeed, shower etc.  That doesn't leave a lot of room.  Then he wants ALONE time, so by the time he spends 10 minutes with me and decides he wants to do it he can't understand why I just don't hop to.

 

Then any time he doesn't get sex for some reason any other PDA goes down the toilet.  We barely hold hands, barely kiss, barely snuggle so I don't really feel physically connected and also feel like I am being punished for not wanting to have sex.

 

I don't know what to do. I am up for just doing it to make him happy and maybe hopefully get the gears turning again, but he doesn't want to do that.  I've tried suggesting scheduling sex so we can set aside a chunk of time so we can devote a lot of time to foreplay.


He doesn't want to do that because "we tried that and you were still uncomfortable during sex".  Well thanks for throwing in the towel after the first try. Sorry a miracle didn't happen.

 

IDK, I am thinking of going to the doctor just so I can drag him with me and have her hit him upside the head with a speculum.  Maybe that would get him to be more understanding.

[Virgil Showlion]

yogiii
Message #14563 - 12/13/10 02:50 PM

Drama - It still isn't the way it was before and some days are more enjoyable than others.  You are right though, bfing is causing the problem.  Luckily my DH is understanding about it but I think he does secretly get disappointed sometimes because things aren't just the same right now

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14564 - 12/13/10 03:08 PM

Drama - what about compromising with him and just tell him weekdays are out, sex on weekends only. I fully understand where you are coming from with not having the time or the energy during the week! I'd have to say it's still on the same either though. It's still uncomfortable "down there" for some reason. Well, at first anways. I never thought of it being because of breastfeeding. What about trying some kind of lube? I started getting scared because I felt like DH and I were drifting further apart because we weren't having physical contact, holding hands, hugging, etc like we used to. You get so busy taking care of baby that you feel like you don't have time for the little things. I realize now it's so super important for the marriage to make time. Hold hands while sitting on the couch, give each other a hug or kiss every day, say I love you, etc.

---

sebrenab
Message #14565 - 12/13/10 03:11 PM

Yes on the falls! I fell several times near the end. Baby was fine but the last time I fell it was a blessing in disguse because my water broke the next morning! It was fabulous-38+ weeks and I was so ready to be done!

---

sebrenab
Message #14566 - 12/13/10 03:19 PM



Drama-Yes on the BF It just saps everything out of you. He needs to understand things will never be exactly the same and scheduling will need to happen whether he likes it or not. Try to get some stuff that might increase the sensation for you it may help. After my second baby I had depression issues along with everything else and that really dampened anything for me. Try to get him to comply a little with scheduling and helping you out a lot more!

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14567 - 12/13/10 03:23 PM



Well I just called the doctor, they can poke & prod me, but otherwise they said the same thing I've been telling Dh, we need a lot of lube and a lot of foreplay.  It's the breastfeeding, I still have a high amount of estrogen running thru my system.


I've suggested stopping and switching to formula if it is really causing that much of a problem for me to not really enjoy having sex, but he doesn't want me to do that.  So I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. 


We do use lube but DH still has it in his head that he can wanna do it RIGHT NOW and my body will just hop to it.  I've tried because there are times when mentally I have wanted to do it RIGHT NOW, but my body isn't able to catch up as quickly as it used to.  So he gets PO-ed when he wants to do it five minutes before he goes to bed but I am not responding or sex is uncomfortable.

 

He wants it to be "spontaneous and hot". I can't get thru to him that right now I still need "slow and boring" so my body can catch up to my brain.

 

I am hoping maybe it will get better once my period starts again, it is "supposed to" start again in January if I am on the average.  If it doesn't I do plan on going in because I want to make sure I am not totally out of whack.  My mom had to have a shot to get her period started again because it never started on its own and she wasn't breastfeeding.  So if it doesn't start in January I am going in and going to make mention of that to the doctor.

 

I really do want to have sex and I want to ENJOY it, but knowing DH is frustrated and feels there is something WRONG with me doesn't exactly put me in the mood.

---

sebrenab
Message #14568 - 12/13/10 03:27 PM

Could you have an afternoon date for the two of you with the baby at your parents? I know that thinking the baby was going to wake up could be a real damper for me. Otherwise just keep repeating what you said-"I need more time" get graphic if you need to.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14569 - 12/13/10 03:42 PM

Could you have an afternoon date for the two of you with the baby at your parents?

He doesn't have a day off till Christmas, but he gets off at 2 pm so I could suggest it.

 

Baby waking up is a damper for me too AND since we have dogs we don't exactly feel comfortable leaving her in her bouncy seat in the living room unsupervised.  She still sleeps in our room and the idea of her seeing us "do it" is a turn off even though I know at 4 months it isn't exactly going to scar her.

 

DH is resisting moving her to her crib, maybe I can present it as her in the bedroom is a mood killer.  Then I could kill two birds with one stone.

---

sebrenab
Message #14570 - 12/13/10 03:48 PM

There you go-do whatever you gotta do. Keep repeating until he gets it.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14571 - 12/13/10 03:51 PM



Azure - He'll be 1 in a little over one more month!! ACKK How can that be?!?! How is your DS.

Yogiii - We went from no meals to 3 meals in about 3 weeks. DS just loves his solids. We did all fruits and veggies with cereal to thicken them and then at 7 months we added in yogurt - homemade, it is super easy. At 8 months meat and now at almost 11 months the only things we are really holding off on are highly acidic foods, nuts, honey, berries eggs and corn.  He eats a lot of what we eat, but I steam veggies ahead of time and freeze them for him so that he gets balanced meals. Just go at whatever pace your DS seems ready for. 

Regina - I hope you ok after your fall.

---

azure sky
Message #14572 - 12/13/10 04:25 PM

Drama, DH and I have had our issues around DTD as well

I think DH gets that it will take time, it improves with practice, etc., etc., after we talked about it.  It is still uncomfortable for me, but it is starting to improve. It definitely gets worse when we get out of practice, which is easy to do. DH understands that as long as I BF, it will not be the same, but I also think he is disappointed.

I found this great website I've been using to try to help our relationship: loveactually-blog.blogspot.com/  It gives creative ideas to be loving to your DH on a budget. They may be hokey, but I find that DH falls for them just as I fall for a bouquet of flowers . I actually put it in my planner to do something of this nature once per month. I've just got to figure out what to do for Christmas now.

Yogii - our pedi said we could do proteins at 7 months. WEll, DS will be 7 months this Saturday, but we gave him a jar of sweet potatoes and chicken twice over the weekend. It was just fine, although his p.oop STANK, lol. Are you still CD'ing? I finally found some liners that really work. Post solids p.ooping was testing my dedication. And, BTW, that weight gain is fantastic. DS has really slowed down in weight gain; there is no way he's gained 2 lbs this month. I also think it is awesome that you are making your own food. At some point I want to switch over to more of a BLW approach, but it hasn't really happened yet, aside from bananas and avocados.

Mutt -- I knew it was close to a year because I remember how cold and snowy it was right when you were at the end of your pregnancy. And how you went overdue . I really felt for you as you were trying to decide when and when not to go to work.

---

surf-n-sand
Message #14573 - 12/13/10 04:33 PM

Econ- Congrats on Maggie's safe arrival!!!  Hope breastfeeding is getting a little better for you!

Question: Do you all have any recommendations for camera baby monitors?  I don't want to break the bank, but I want a good one.  Thanks in advance!

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14574 - 12/13/10 04:33 PM

It definitely gets worse when we get out of practice, which is easy to do.

I argued that yesterday.  We've maybe only done it a totall of 4 times or so since I got the medical all clear.  I can't get thru to him that it's like anything else that doesn't get used for awhile. I've even gone into graphic medical detail about how down there works for a woman.  I've told him it's like when I was a virgin, sex only felt good after TIME and we had to do it A LOT before it felt natural, comfortable and good to me.

 

He just raised his eyebrows at that and doesn't buy it because we've been having sex for 6 years now and I was physically all cleared for sex, it shouldn't matter how many times we do it anymore.

 

He's very skeptical when I say all women are different.  It does not help that apparently all his co-workers wives were screaming in ectasy practically the night after they gave birth, at least according to their husbands.

 

Maybe I should set up an appointment with the doctor just to get him to shut up.  Course if they say there is nothing physically wrong with me they can fix we're right back to square one.

 

[Virgil Showlion]

yogiii
Message #14575 - 12/13/10 04:35 PM

azure - thanks, I try!  I'm not doing BLW, I'm just pureeing everything in the food processor and spoon feeding him for now.  I want to make sure he is eating and the food isn't just falling on the floor.  As he gets older, I will probably do that but right now I'm just trying to fatten him up and lucky for me, he loves food so it has been pretty easy.  I am still CDing with fuzzibunz.  It can get pretty gross.  Most of the time they just roll right off into the toilet.  Sometimes I get some "sticky" ones and use TP and finally the shower head to clean those off.  Once I almost just threw the whole diaper out but decided not to

---

eh230
Message #14576 - 12/13/10 04:48 PM



Congrats Econ!  I hope breastfeeding is going better.  It is rough in the beginning, but it does get better.  I made the nurses check out Henry's latch every time he fed at the hospital.  I think that it helped a little

 

Yogiii, Henry had his first meat on Thanksgiving.  Since then he has had both chicken and turkey, but he doesn't eat meat every day.  He doesn't really like it unless it is mixed with something that he really likes, i.e. apples or sweet potatoes.  We are starting to work in a third meal right now.  Our pedi gave us a handout of typical meals for a 6-9 month old with the goal that the baby should be eating three meals by 9 months.  Henry's milk intake has not really dropped since we started solids. 

 

Azure and Mutt, good to see you!

 

Drama, I feel your pain (physically and emotionally ).  DH and I have only done it once since Henry was born, and he is almost 8 months old.  It is super uncomfortable, and we aren't really getting along all that well any way.  It's just really hard.  I know that you guys used to see a counselor before Gwen.  Could you guys maybe go back for a session or two?  Maybe that would help?

---

eh230
Message #14577 - 12/13/10 04:50 PM

Surf, we have a Summer Infant video monitor, and it is great!  I bought mine at target on sale.  They carried three models: a high end, a low end, and a mid-range.  We bought the mid-range, and I like it just fine.  I think I paid about $140; it's a lot, but it has really helped with sleep training.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14578 - 12/13/10 04:59 PM



I don't know, I don't think it'd really help all that much since he is convinced that something is physically wrong with me that needs "fixed" and he already made a comment about seeing "some other type of doctor" about my "issues" so I am pretty much not going to any doctor right now.


Petty I know, but I refuse to have it implied that I am a freak that needs fixed.

 

I am googling right now and trying to find some things to print off.  So far a lot of it is it is all in my head and I just need to use more lubircant and DH needs to tell me "good job" more.  Yeah because that has SOOO been working.


Why is it the world stops spinning when a man can't get an erection and BILLIONS of dollars of research are devoted to making sure he can get his peter up but when I have a problem it's all in my head and I just need to work harder at getting in the mood?

---

surf-n-sand
Message #14579 - 12/13/10 05:40 PM

eh- Thanks for the tip.  $140 isn't too bad.  I will look into that one.  There is such a wide array of prices.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14580 - 12/13/10 05:43 PM



Hi ladies!  I'm off work today but I'm trying to catch up while Avery's eating lunch.

Econ, Congratulations!  I'm so glad everything went well.  I love the name you picked.

regina, I fell big time when I was around 20 weeks pregnant.  I slipped on wet grass and totally wiped out, flat on my back.  A stranger had to pick me up off the ground.  And I hit so hard that I peed a little    The fall didn't hurt Avery, but I hurt my hip and had a lot of pain in it for weeks after.  I would check with your doctor.

Okay, Avery's done and on the move.  I'll have to catch up more later.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #14581 - 12/13/10 06:59 PM



econ - congrats on Magdalyn's arrival!  Glad everything went well.

regina - I also fell (forward but tried to brace myself with my arms and hands) around 20 weeks, right on my way to my OB appt.  OB said to monitor for bleeding, leaking fluid, and baby's movements.  She did say that usually the impact of a little fall isn't enough to hurt baby.  Maybe a flight of stairs or a car accident type of impact.  But please do check with your OB if you're worried at all. 

drama - I also think counseling should be a consideration, even if DH doens't think it's necessary.  It is necessary for you two to be able to discuss the feelings around trying to DTD.  Hormones and discomfort lasted for a while for me.  I think I got stitched up a little too tight for #1.  Discomfort seemed to last for about 6-9 months, since we weren't really frequently DTD, and then it'd still be tender at times even after that. 

eternal - glad you found some new maternity (petite!) clothes. 

I am almost done with the gift shopping and gift wrapping! 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14582 - 12/13/10 07:10 PM

It is necessary for you two to be able to discuss the feelings around trying to DTD

It's not so much that but that I can't get thru his fat head that breastfeeding and "down there" are not mutually exclusive.  I can't get thru to him that it is HORMONES.

 

I didn't find any real useful information, though I found a ton expressing that I just need to get over it and use some Astroglide.

 

but scrolling down to sites' comments pages I found a lot of posts expressing the same thing I have here and how frustrated they are that it is dismissed as being in their heads that we just have to work harder at being in the mood and use a little bit of lube. 

 

So it's nice to know I am not alone, but acedotal evidence doesn't seem to convince DH unless it is a woman swinging from the chandiler three weeks after giving birth.  Cause that fits with what he WANTS to hear.

 

My office is on Christmas break, so I can't even call the OB to have HER tell him what I told him.  He usually listens to anyone with white coat on.

---

illinicheme
Message #14583 - 12/13/10 08:55 PM

Drama - can you bring home a white coat from work on put that on while you're trying to talk to DH?

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14584 - 12/13/10 09:00 PM

can you bring home a white coat from work on put that on while you're trying to talk to DH

Technically no because it has all sorts of junk on it that isn't supposed to leave the lab.  Plus I don't think he'd buy it.  Maybe my boss?

---

oldfostermom
Message #14585 - 12/13/10 09:05 PM



Drama:  Your husband has always had work stories about hot monkey sex from conception to today.  Do tell him you hope he lies as well as those he works with and that Human Resources doesn't have a fit about the exchanging of sexual antics stories. 

Tell him he needs to remember HIS courtship behaviors and YOU remember that breastfeeding is physically intended to reduce desire (to space out the next pregnancy).  Then praise him every time he behaves in a loving manner.  He will do that more and you will be aware of his foreplay ... that it needs to happen all 24/7.    DTD then does get better with rest and less pressure.  With all the pressures of babies and going back to jobs so early these days it is amazing there are Any second children.

 

---

illinicheme
Message #14586 - 12/13/10 09:06 PM

Hi ladies,

I might be thinking about joining this thread at some point in the future. I'm about two weeks out from when DH and I have agreed to start trying to conceive and I'm feeling pretty anxious. DH definitely wants children. I'm not completely anti-kids (I can imagine having a grown family), and I'd probably have kids by now if I was a man. But I'm not a man, and this concept of a biological clock is foreign to me. I occasionally get a little nauseous thinking about having a baby. I'm the main breadwinner and I'm worried that having a baby is going to be terrible. I'm really worried that DH won't help enough. I'm irritated that the biology dictates that so much of the responsibility will be on me. I'm worried that my bosses will question my commitment to my career. I'm petrified of possibly having a c-section (my mom had three). I'm preparing to be hyper-annoyed when my bad skin comes back after I go off BCPs.

Helps to write it out. Hopefully I'm not completely insane.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14587 - 12/13/10 09:12 PM

With all the pressures of babies and going back to jobs so early these days it is amazing there are Any second children.

I told my mom I think the whole reason everyone says "Wait two years" is because that's about the time when you might actually be able to have a sex life again.

 

 Do tell him you hope he lies as well as those he works with and that Human Resources doesn't have a fit about the exchanging of sexual antics stories. 

I don't care what he talks about personally what annoys me is that he brings it home and compares us.  Is that a guy thing or something because when I talk to my girlfriends I don't come home and tell DH that their boyfriends/husbands are doing this that and the other, what is wrong with you?

 

Or do I just not put as much stock in other people's sexual stories as DH does?

---

boos_mom
Message #14588 - 12/13/10 10:03 PM

irritated that the biology dictates that so much of the responsibility will be on me.

Biologically, if you don't BF, then you can pretty much divide much of the caretaking responsibility equally.  (Even if you only pump, that puts a lot more stressors on the woman b/c she is still the producer of the sustenance.)  However, if you don't know if DH will be up for equal caretaking, then that's something to talk about (A LOT)... BEFORE getting pregnant.  Since he definitely wants children, he may surprise you.  Do you have any little nieces/nephews that you can baby sit?  Of course it's not the same as your own, but it's a good first step to just seeing what it's like.  And if DH helps out a lot around the house now, it's unlikely that it will lessen when a baby comes, unless he's going to be a SAHD.

It's the hardest thing to do - be a parent (working outside or at home).  And the kids will drive me beyond bananas some days.  But I still love them, and I can't imagine my life without them. 

---

eh230
Message #14589 - 12/13/10 10:30 PM

I'm the main breadwinner and I'm worried that having a baby is going to be terrible. I'm really worried that DH won't help enough. I'm irritated that the biology dictates that so much of the responsibility will be on me. I'm worried that my bosses will question my commitment to my career. I'm petrified of possibly having a c-section (my mom had three). I'm preparing to be hyper-annoyed when my bad skin comes back after I go off BCPs.

You are not insane.  Your description essentially describes me, and having my son has easily been the most challenging thing that I have ever done.  Though I really love my son, I don't know that I would have gotten pregnant had I known what I was in store for.  I really wish someone would have told me how bad motherhood could be sometimes.  I am not saying this to scare you, but you should get pregnant with your eyes wide open. 

 

As boo mentioned, breastfeeding is really hard work, and in my opinion, it totally sets the tone of caretaking responsbilities early on.  For example, when baby gets up at night, your DH may tell you that you should deal with the crying since you have to feed the baby anyway.  This is defnintely something to address before you have the baby.  Senior attorneys have questioned my committment to my career.  One of them actually made a comment on my review form that they questioned my committement to the firm because I took my full maternity leave (3 months).  I had a c-section (that was the easiest part of having the baby), and becoming pregnant gave me terrible acne that just got worse after I had the baby (apparently due to breastfeeding hormones, at least according to the dermatologist).  On top of that, I have a mild case of PPD, and I don't know that I really like my husband much anymore (our communication is really terrible right now).   

 

My advice, have a really frank talk with your DH about your feelings and his and make the decision together with all of the facts and feelings.

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14590 - 12/13/10 11:00 PM



Drama, if taking him to the doctor doesn't work, you might just have to do a 'my way or the highway' thing.  Have you told him what a mood killer his accusations and insensitivity are?  Seriously, if he pulls that, even during the deed, you need to just stand up, get dressed, and tell him in no uncertain terms how utterly unattractive he is and how hurt you are.  How would he feel if he had problems getting it up and you said it was all his fault? 

With DS1, it took around 5 months to get up and running.  With DS2, the stiches didn't heal right and I had blinding pain 8 months later.  I've had 3 rather painful procedures and will hopefully get cleared this week. 

I don't know, I don't think it'd really help all that much since he is convinced that something is physically wrong with me that needs "fixed" and he already made a comment about seeing "some other type of doctor" about my "issues" so I am pretty much not going to any doctor right now.

That kind of doctor is for women who have blinding pain, not pain in the arse husbands. 

I think you need to go on the offensive with this.  He is the one who is bad in bed.  He is the one who doesn't seem to care about your pleasure.  He is the one who can't seem to adjust to new circumstances. 

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14591 - 12/13/10 11:17 PM

I'm the main breadwinner and I'm worried that having a baby is going to be terrible. I'm really worried that DH won't help enough. I'm irritated that the biology dictates that so much of the responsibility will be on me. I'm worried that my bosses will question my commitment to my career. I'm petrified of possibly having a c-section (my mom had three). I'm preparing to be hyper-annoyed when my bad skin comes back after I go off BCPs.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect your husband to prove he is willing and able to take over all the cooking and cleaning without busting the budget before you try to conceive.  Some women get very sick when they are pregnant, and since you are the breadwinner, quitting your job isn't an option.  Come up with a set of benchmarks.  If he rises to the occasion, then go for it,  otherwise, stay on BC.  A lot of the drama pregnant women on this board go through is due to their husbands having only 9 months to go from being children to being fathers.  Giving your DH more time to adjust is wise. 

---

illinicheme
Message #14592 - 12/13/10 11:42 PM

I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect your husband to prove he is willing and able to take over all the cooking and cleaning without busting the budget before you try to conceive.

I think he'd flip out over that! (He frequently works longer hours than I do, even though he only makes ~30% of our gross income.) Definitely need to figure out a system to encourage a more equal division of labor. Most classic problem in the world!

My advice, have a really frank talk with your DH about your feelings and his and make the decision together with all of the facts and feelings.

Yeah - we've been talking. Had a couple of rip-roaring fights in the past year. (I was reading a bunch of books like "Babyproofing Your Marriage" and "Getting to 50:50" and he got REALLY angry because he interpreted it that I thought he wasn't going to be a good father or something.)

[Virgil Showlion]

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14593 - 12/14/10 12:00 AM



Econ - Congrats and happy birthday to Maggie! Can't wait to read more and I hope BF gets easier for you.

 

Eternal - Yay! I am so glad to hear that. The maternity pants took my comfort level up about 10 notches. Enjoy it the new clothes and hair - I bet you are beautiful!

 

Regina - I would definitely call the doctor considering your other injuries.

 

Drama - I apologize in advance but I have to say that your husband sounds like a total jerk. First, he needs to learn that his co-workers are probably equally "deprived" sexually and they tell each other BS stories to pet their own egos. Secondly, I don't care how much sex his co-workers wives want to have, they aren't YOU, they aren't his WIFE. He needs to have appreciation and awe for the amazing things your body has already done, like bringing sweet Gwen into the world and feeding her. Until then, close the cookie jar. If he can't be supportive and understanding of your needs, then you're not engaging in a mutually respectful and loving intimate act.

 

ill - give yourself an honest look at becoming a parent. It's a life altering decision and I agree with the other poster who says you need to walk into pregnancy and parenting with eyes wide open. We're here for you to talk through anything. This is the best board ever.

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14594 - 12/14/10 12:14 AM

I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect your husband to prove he is willing and able to take over all the cooking and cleaning without busting the budget before you try to conceive.

I think he'd flip out over that! (He frequently works longer hours than I do, even though he only makes ~30% of our gross income.) Definitely need to figure out a system to encourage a more equal division of labor. Most classic problem in the world!

Then you've answered your own question.  If a guy can't take over cooking and cleaning in a household with 2 adults, then he won't be an equal partner with child rearing.  A baby makes a lot more work than keeping a 2 adult household.  Honestly, I wouldn't procreate under these circumstances. 

 

Drama, I have to ask, was your DH ever good in bed?  I can't wrap my mind around a guy wanting to DTD in such a way that his wife's lady parts get bruised, torn or chafed.  If you can do the astroglide quickie in such a way that you don't get hurt, then there is some room for compromise -- do it his way one time and yours another.  But if you're getting hurt, that's a whole other issue.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14595 - 12/14/10 12:14 AM



Well the doctor's office is closed till January, so that takes care of that.  I was going to go in in January anyhow if my period doesn't start because I want to make sure everything is okay.  That'll be six months since she was born and they said that is average for most breastfeeding women.   I know it could take longer, it certainly hasn't happened sooner, but I figure if January comes and goes with no period it's probably a good idea to get my hormones checked and make sure the downstairs is still in good shape.

 

I read it can come back when I get my period to not until I stop breastfeeding.  So who knows.  Guess we might as well see what happens come January.

 

He apologized, someone set his head on straight, don't know who cause he mentioned the hormones, specfically estrogen and I've never mentioned it before.

 

My biggest gripe isn't so much DH but the fact that I could find barely anything that supported how I was feeling.  Pretty much everything was I need to use more lube and just "get over it" (I am parapharasing).  That annoyed me more than anything because it's the same old crap of dimissing women's sexual dysfunction as us just being ice queens and making it all up in our heads.  Yet God help a 60 year old man who can't get a ****, stop all research till we can find a cure!

 

Even my doctor office's advice was "use lube".  Well if that was working do you think I would be calling you?!

 

Not saying it makes DH right AT ALL, but geez louise no wonder it is hard to convince ANYONE that when a woman has sexual problems it is anything other than her mental state.  Even La Leche just said "use lube".  Wow, thanks!

 

Gwen rolled over tonight!!  She rolled over from her stomach to her back.  Can't go the other way yet.  It was so exciting!

 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14596 - 12/14/10 12:17 AM

If you can do the astroglide quickie in such a way that you don't get hurt, then there is some room for compromise -- do it his way one time and yours another.  But if you're getting hurt, that's a whole other issue

Can't do quickies, at least not yet.  We've tried and they HURT.  We have always had to use lubrication because the pill used to cause some dryness and I am also quite small down there.

 

We use quite a bit of lube but it just does not make up for what my body naturally produces.  That's the really frustrating part for both me and him. 

 

It's like I am just running on empty down there, I can't even describe it.  I don't know what it feels like to DH, but feels like sandpaper to me for lack of a better description.  I did read that it's due to the drop in estrogen (mine is being used up to make breastmilk) so I am not producing lubricant and my vaginal walls are a lot thinner than normal.

 

It's like having sex the day after my period only EVERY day is the after my period.

 

He doesn't want to hurt me, that's what is so frustrating.  I understand but at the same time I don't think things are going to get better if we don't "grin and bear it" so to speak a few times.  The longer we go without doing it, the longer it's going to be till it starts to feel normal again.

 

We're going to try a different brand of lube.  We got a porn store in town and they carry every type of lube you can imagine.  Maybe we should try one of the ones that is specfically for women or that new KY for Him & Her.

---

yogiii
Message #14597 - 12/14/10 12:44 AM

I don't know that I really like my husband much anymore

eh - I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  Are you still talking to a therapist?

---

illinicheme
Message #14598 - 12/14/10 01:40 AM

We're going to try a different brand of lube.

Liquid Silk is the best type I've ever found. (Personally I dislike all the KY's I've tried.)

[Virgil Showlion]

eh230
Message #14599 - 12/14/10 01:40 AM

Yes, I am still seeing the therapist.  I try to go once a week, but have missed a couple of weeks due to scheduling conflicts.  What I have learned is basically that since Henry has gotten over his colic, most of my issues stem from my marriage.  I have asked DH to come with me, but he refuses.  He does not want anyone to know intimate details about his life.  I suggested that he could go and just talk about me, but he won't do that either.  It's really hard.  This weekend we were stuck in the house due to a blizzard (we literally could not leave the house saturday or sunday), and he basically told me that I do not deserve to have time to myself since I work during the week.  He semi-apologized last night but is taking me-time for himself for the third time in a week tonight.  It doesn't send a very nice message to me. 

---

oldfostermom
Message #14600 - 12/14/10 01:40 AM



Drama: definitely try the ones made specifically for women.  even try those for menopausal women (it won't make you menopausal) but dryness can be a huge thing then.

It is NOT in your head.  Doctors get taught to say that about women in med school I swear, though I asked some young doctors about that and was told no.  Particularly when 'experts' don't have an answer many say it is in your head not your body.  This is one reason why it can really help to have a witness to both vouch for your story and be sure things aren't brushed off.  (Esp as you get older.)

It is clear your husband loves you and Gwen, and gets frustrated and snippy when he doesn't understand what is happening in your body.  Keep holding on and be patient with him and your body. And remind him that for most women foreplay is 24/7.

---

illinicheme
Message #14601 - 12/14/10 01:43 AM

Then you've answered your own question.  If a guy can't take over cooking and cleaning in a household with 2 adults, then he won't be an equal partner with child rearing.  A baby makes a lot more work than keeping a 2 adult household.  Honestly, I wouldn't procreate under these circumstances. 

Hmm. Maybe I misunderstood your original suggestion. Not sure how wishing he'd be a bit more 50/50 became he has to do 100% or it's impossible to add a baby to the mix.

ETA: To clarify - DH does help around the house. It's just the classic problem of not being able to multi-task very well and not doing as much of the day-to-day stuff. He does do some of the cooking, but I do more because I like it more, I'm better at it, and I tend to get home first.

---

boos_mom
Message #14602 - 12/14/10 01:48 AM

he got REALLY angry because he interpreted it that I thought he wasn't going to be a good father or something.)

Honestly, if there are problems in the marriage pre-baby, baby will create Grand Canyon fissures in the marriage.  The division of labor is probably the biggest cause of marital dissatisfaction when baby comes along.  If your DH has dreams of magically having a baby that comes with a housekeeper/cook, not going to happen.  Without outside help, the standards of pre-baby housekeeping usually goes down.  It's really hard to maintain the same standards for the first year (if not longer).  If you've got an awesome DH that already pitches in 50%(or more) now, it's probably safe to think that would continue.  Promises are just promises.  If I were you, I'd want to see true action/change before getting pg. 

Also, one of you will need to be the primary caretaker if you're using daycare.  Baby will get sick, on short notice.  Someone will need to take off for a few days sometimes until a fever breaks and baby can return to daycare.  Since you are the breadwinner, is your DH willing to be the go-to person for taking care of baby?  Daycares have set hours and need to be worked around.  Baby will need to have a schedule at home.  Lots of things should be discussed.  Good luck!

eh - I'm sorry things aren't going so well in your marriage.  I wish someone could get your DH to go to counseling with you.  Hoping the best for you!

---

KRR627
Message #14603 - 12/14/10 01:50 AM

We're going to try a different brand of lube.  We got a porn store in town and they carry every type of lube you can imagine.  Maybe we should try one of the ones that is specfically for women or that new KY for Him & Her.

We started using Pre-Seed a few months ago - I really like it.  You can buy the tube with applicators and insert some inside a few minutes before DTD.  That may help you get better "coverage".  We used Astroglide before that, and I liked it, but Pre-Seed feels a bit more natural to me.

 

There's only one store in my town that carries it - you may have to order it online.  I used early pregnancy test dot com and it arrived within 4 days I think.  Hope this helps!

 

I have not been pregnant and experienced post-partum pain, but it took me several months of DTD after the first time before it became comfortable.  All I could think was "ITS NOT FAIR!  Why does something that is supposedly fun hurt so much?!"  Either I am small, DH is large, and/or I do not produce much lube.  So, yeah, painful IC is not fun and I don't wish it on anyone.  Hope you can find a solution soon!  Good luck!

 

ETA:  You may try taking deep breaths and doing your best to relax the muscles down there.  It can help - may be worth a try.

---

illinicheme
Message #14604 - 12/14/10 01:56 AM

Also, one of you will need to be the primary caretaker if you're using daycare.  Baby will get sick, on short notice.  Someone will need to take off for a few days sometimes until a fever breaks and baby can return to daycare.  Since you are the breadwinner, is your DH willing to be the go-to person for taking care of baby?  Daycares have set hours and need to be worked around.  Baby will need to have a schedule at home.  Lots of things should be discussed.  Good luck!

DH is a professor, so fortunately has some schedule flexibility. The hope would be to eventually use the on-campus day care (long waiting list and only kids >12 months old). Realistically, he'll have to be the "primary" day care person. I take a vanpool to work (40 miles each way), so it's not really feasible to pick a day care that is near my work. We'd likely have to find infant day care that is in his work's city (about 20 miles from our home).

[Virgil Showlion]

azure sky
Message #14605 - 12/14/10 02:07 AM

illini -- I am in a dual academic household (no wonder you're primary breadwinner, lol). I do have to agree with others that babies only make marriage issues more difficult, especially division of labor. When I got pregnant, I truly felt like DH and I had a rock-solid marriage, and yet all the ladies on here know that we've still had plenty of our own issues. He is really good to help with housework and recently brought DS along on my business trip, but we've STILL had problems, and still go to counseling.

I really found out about gender inequality through pregnancy. It is all on you. I used to be afraid of pregnancy, and am glad I waited until it felt more comfortable to me. Are you pushing up against an age that worries you (e.g., 38)? If not, I don't see why you wouldn't wait a bit longer.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14606 - 12/14/10 02:30 AM



Pre-seed?  I'll have to look it up.  I am not a huge fan of KY myself but my mom is a huge fan of the new His & Her (like I needed to know that! lol) and she is post menopausal so I was thinking it might be worth looking into.


We had a talk about it tonight and I told him my dismay at finding that a lot of what is written about it basically tells me to suck it up and use more lube it is not THAT BAD.  I said no wonder the issue is such a hotbed for husbands and wives.   There is nothing out there to really tell you how to handle it or process it.

 

It's one of those other little tidbits I have discovered no one freaking tells you about when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum. 

 

I told him what frustrates me is that my body does not seem to be cooperating with my brain.  It blows that sex hurts, but what really annoys me is wanting to do it mentally while my body says "Not tonight".

 

It terrifies him that he might hurt me.  I've tried to reassure him that if it's that bad I'll tell him to stop, but the mere mental image of me wincing is enough to scare him off of sex completely.

 

We tried it tonight and were both thrilled that I did not cry.  Still wasn't fantastic or even good but it was at least not near as painful and uncomfortable as it has been.  We just need to take it slow almost like I am a virgin again.


Which after six years is rather irritating, but pregnancy, postpartum and breastfeeding have done a real number on me.  While I read books and thought I was prepared, I wasn't near as prepared as I thought concerning me and my body after children.  I love Gwen very very much, but I am not sure that I want to go thru this again to have a second.

 

We got five years before my Mirena expires, but as it stands right now I really am looking forward to having my body back and don't want to go back to this again after only a short year or so of being "me" again.

 

Got jury duty tomorrow. I am going to bring my pump and just be honest.  Also bringing the manual pump because if there is no where to plug in the electric I still need to at least relieve engorement.  Fortuanately I got enough of a little stockpile that if I can't pump a lot tomorrow we'll be all right, but if I have to go longer than that I'll be screwed.

 

Gwen ate 6 ounces today!  Keeping my fingers crossed she does it again because once she is doing it consistently I can talke to the doctor about introducing solids.  She's ready, she wants whatever it is I am eating, her digestive system isn't ready though.  I let her suck on a bannana I was eating and she LOVED it.  She's totally ready totry new things, she just needs to be able to digest it.

 

And did I mention she ROLLED OVER!  That made my day!

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14607 - 12/14/10 02:52 AM

Drama/Elf, it is totally normal to not have a period while you are breastfeeding.  There were ladies on the pregnancy board that hadn't had a period in 12+ months!  Mine came back at 9ish months when I switched Averie to formula.  Still no problem with getting yourself checked out at the doc, but I didn't want you to be worrying that there's something wrong with you up until then.  And it really just does take practice - I think we did it less than 5 times for the first 9-10 months of Averie's life, and we're finally getting back into the swing of things.

Econ, congrats on your new baby girl, and welcome Maggie!

Advice needed - Averie is doing this new thing where she just shrieks constantly.  For no reason.  Happy, sad, hungry, tired, needs a diaper change, wants to play.  It is driving me NUTS.  We have tried "disciplining" - shushing her, saying "no screaming", putting a finger to her lips, etc.  We have tried ignoring it and she just shrieks louder and longer.  Anyone have any ideas?  I'm losing my mind!

I have one final tomorrow and one final Thursday and then it's sweet, sweet freedom (for 3 weeks )!  And DH is calling the job tomorrow just to follow up again and let them know he's still interested in the position. 

---

illinicheme
Message #14608 - 12/14/10 02:58 AM

illini -- I am in a dual academic household (no wonder you're primary breadwinner, lol)

We're a dual PhD household (met in grad school). Fortunately I saw the light and followed the easy money to an industrial career that I enjoy. DH, alas, is fully committed to his labor of love despite the long hours and less-than-stellar pay.

Are you pushing up against an age that worries you (e.g., 38)? If not, I don't see why you wouldn't wait a bit longer.

Currently 32.5. I realize that still gives us quite a bit of time on paper, but my mom had trouble getting pregnant with her first two (my sister was a surprise third). So I worry, perhaps more than I should.

---

oldfostermom
Message #14609 - 12/14/10 03:26 AM



Meg MtoA: When she is being quiet talk to her about not shrieking. Tell her to use an indoor voice.  I know, you think she doesn't have those language skills yet but starting by calmly discussing expectations is the first step.  Then, Praise her when she doesn't yell but uses a good sound level.  Clap your hands and be delighted.  And when she does shriek YOU whisper to her and remind her "Shhh remember, no shrieking" and give her something else to do.    Consistently.    Then breath in and out calmly and repeat.  It is an age thing for her and a new stage in parenting for you.   

A second process from Baby Whisperer says to acknowledge you heard her need and to match the intensity while saying: You Really Want X, but we have to speak gently. Yes, it is really important to you to have X and repeat calmly diminishing your intensity as she chills.  Then PRAISE her for the right vocal level.

Remember she is not 14 wanting to drink booze and drive in fast cars with wild boys.  Count blessings it is shrieking.  She will learn to speak or sign soon and that will help A LOT.

---

Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14610 - 12/14/10 03:33 AM

Drama - YAY for Gwen rolling over!!!  So exciting  

[Virgil Showlion]

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14611 - 12/14/10 01:43 PM



So much going on here!!

Do you all have any recommendations for camera baby monitors?  I don't want to break the bank, but I want a good one. 

I have a Summer Infant camera monitor.  I really like it.  We got ours on eBay (new in the box) for $100.  Our monitor looks sort of like a handheld walkie talkie that you can carry with you.  I loved that when Avery was really little.  I could put the monitor in the living room, put her in the swing and run downstairs to throw in some laundry and take the monitor with me so I could still see and hear her.

Drama, I'm sorry things are difficult in the DTD department.  It took me a long time to not have pain and discomfort.  Fortunately, DH was understanding.  I don't know what I would have done if he had acted like your DH, but if he had, I might me a widow now!!  We use Astroglide.  I think it works really well.  I've always had "dryness" issues from my birth control, even before pregnancy.  And congratulations on Gwen rolling over.  That's so exciting!

eh, I don't have any advice, but hugs.

gardenergirl, I hope you're feeling better.  It sounds like you got what I had at Thanksgiving.

illincheme, I think you really need to take some time to sit down and think about what you really want.  Don't put yourself up against some sort of self-imposed baby deadline.  That's the worst thing you can do.  Be realistic about your wants, needs and expectations and your husband's.  Maybe a baby just isn't for you.  Or maybe it is but you just need to wait a little longer.  There's no right or wrong answer as long as you do what's right for you.  DH and I really wanted a baby, we were ready, and I love being a mom.  That being said, it's still a challenge, and I can only imagine that it would be exponentially harder if we hadn't been ready.

Meg, my Avery went through a shrieking stage.  It didn't last very long, thank goodness!  I think she did it just because she could, and once she got used to it the novelty wore off.

 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14612 - 12/14/10 02:29 PM



DH has actually been pretty patient, it all boiled over on Sunday.  I don't mind him being frustrated, it's that he bottles it all up and then it comes out in outburts like Sunday and we fight over it.  I am frustrated too, I wish he would have just admitted that in the first place as opposed to getting snarky.

 

Then like I said it isn't easy to find any information to help and guide you thru it.  "Vaginal dryness" doesn't even BEGIN to describe what I have been experiencing and it leaves you isolated when all you read over and over is "just use lubricant" and you know you've been doing that and it still doesn't work.

 

So you are kinda left drifting.  It's really frustrating for me to be MENTALLY willing and ready for sex but my BODY isn't responding like it normally does.  It still feels like I have yet to reclaim my body as my own.

 

We'll see what happens with jury duty. I am just going to be honest and tell them I need to pump at least three times a day (back to three now, Gwen is starting to eat more and I need to produce more during pumping sessions), what are you going to do to accomodate me?

 

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14613 - 12/14/10 03:39 PM



Drama - I don't know if you have seen these links from kellymom.com or not, but www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/bfhelp-mother.html#intimacy and I don't know if Dr. Jack Newman has any info or not, but here is his website www.drjacknewman.com/.  You are right there just are not the resourses dedicated to woman's issues as there are men's.  9 studies done on lactation and brestfeeding vs 87 for erectile disfunction.  HMMM. that's sounds right. One feeds your child and the other?  Your problem is what it has alwasy been and that is that your husband spends too much time listening to other people and not enough time listening to you and maybe (because I'm not there and I don't know) you spend too much time talking to other people and not enough time talking with your husband. I wish you the best. Oh it is absolutely normal not to get a period BF and on Mirena. Both of those will stop your periods.  I know woman who it takes until completely weaning (at 18+ months) for their periods to come back.   Once my initial spotting from Mirena ceased, I have had just a little spotting that doesn't even require a panty liner, it is that light.

illini - It is a big transition from workaholic to working mom.  I am fortunate that my DH stays home.  He actually stayed home the year before DS was born and it really help set up the how our responsibilities were going to work out.  Getting up in the middle of the night has been issues at a couple points, but mainly because DH doesn't always here the baby or he falls asleep on the couch. Typically, I let him know that I am worn out and need more rest and he takes the monitor for a night and does one feeding and then brings me the baby for me to feed a second time which not getting out of bed is way more restful than walking around the house.  Communication is key. As is knowing your limitations.  We've had rough moments, but they would have been much worse if DH wasn't the person that he is.  He gets what taking care of the baby entails. We both try to give each other breaks. We both do the best we can to keep things neat. It has been a lot of hard work, but I wouldn't trade DS for anything. 

---

nasagreen
Message #14614 - 12/14/10 03:42 PM



illinicheme - it sounds like from your DH is pretty scared and insecure about beginning this new chapter.  mine is 41 and he is S-C-A-R-E-D!!!  so sometimes he misinterprets things with that subconcious feeling that he won't be a good father, but puts it as if I am leaning that way myself.  My DH would also never be able to do 50% of the chores even when we have a baby.  At least not to my standards.  It would be a constant struggle and he also makes 40% of the income even with 2 jobs.  So he is working all the time and I am aware that the lower pay actually does make him feel somewhat inadequate.


Along with the discussion, I have a husband that I love dearly but who does not take care of a 50/50 household.  At some point, I had to come to the realization that this is pretty much how it is.  I do all the finances and cleaning, and also work, and now will have the baby.  However, (snicker) he has to take care of the baby for the whole SUMMER!  I have to go back to work and he is a teacher, so I look at this as his sink or swim time and I'm grateful that this will force him to realize that he too can be a caregiver.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14615 - 12/14/10 03:51 PM



I do talk too much on here.  I just don't have a huge support network in RL.  Plus you have to be kinda careful talking to people in RL because you don't want to create drama based on what they have heard and the opinions they form because of it.  Learned that the hard way.

 

Got excused from jury duty for the rest of the month.  Woo hoo!  They were very understanding which was a nice change from the last time eight years ago. I called because I was moving out of the county and the lady was a witch with a capital B.  So I was pretty nervous about how it was going to go this time.  Got out pretty fast too.

 

So I am going to stay home for the rest of the day and I am leaving Gwen in daycare.  I need some time to myself, real ALONE time with nobody in the house but the dogs.  DH has been pushing me to take a personal day but I just don't have the vacation/sick time to do that, I need it for potential snow days in case the daycare is closed.

 

So since I am getting paid for today as jury duty leave I figure I might as well sit at home like a bump on a log and do NOTHING.  Well I will do the dishes, but that is it.  No heavy duty cleaning like I usually do when home.

 

I am just burned out.  Being a new parent is HARD, balancing my new responsbilities with my old ones has been quite an adjustment and I think I am finallly starting to run low on batteries.

---

illinicheme
Message #14616 - 12/14/10 04:33 PM

Feeling slightly better today. DH came home last night from work at about 8pm. Immediately put the trash cans out to the curb and loaded the dishwasher. That quickly put me in a better mood.

Be realistic about your wants, needs and expectations and your husband's.

That's the tough part. I'm not anti-kids....I just can't seem to find that "I DEFINITELY want kids" feeling that so many women seem to have. I think DH and I are experiencing typical angst, it's just that the roles are reversed. Usually it's the woman dragging the not-opposed-but-not-quite-ready man into parenthood. (To be fair to DH, while he's certainly made it clear that he's ready at any time, he's not pushing it.) Guess we'll see what happens.

I figure I might as well sit at home like a bump on a log and do NOTHING.

I hope you enjoy a very nice and relaxing day, DramaQ.

[Virgil Showlion]

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14617 - 12/14/10 04:44 PM



Lube talk - I have dryness issues always, so we have always used Astroglide. I hate anything KY. When we started TTC, we switched to Pre-Seed. I don't use the applicators since we were used to using lube anyway. It's great for this purpose, but after baby arrives, I'll be back to Astroglide - just my preference.

 

Drama - yay for getting out of jury duty for another month. enjoy your day off and I agree, do nothing!

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14618 - 12/14/10 04:55 PM



kgb - thanks yes I'm feeling better. And if you had over Thanksgiving what I just had I am so so sorry!!! It was terrible!!!!

 

ill - just wanted to say welcome to the board. You'll find a lot of good info on here. In my experience I just had my first baby back in March after being married for 11 years. Whenever people asked me if I had kids I would tell them "yes, 3. My 2 dogs and my DH." Seriously, I never thought he would be ready for kids. He WAS a kid himself!! Eventually I was so ready to have a baby that I planned on just knowing that I would have to take care of baby and do everything around the house myself too. I didn't plan on counting on DH for any help whatsoever around the house. But since having Olivia he has really surprised me. He does 50% or more of the cooking, takes out the garbage, cleans up the kitchen. Pretty much whatever I ask him to do, but I do have to ASK him to do it. But if YOU are not ready for having a baby, then I would say wait. Don't have a baby just because DH wants one. But that's just my opinion.

 

eh - I'm sorry you are going through all of that with your husband. Is there anyone else that maybe he will talk to if he won't talk to you or a therapist? Maybe another therapist, perhaps he doesn't want to go to the same one that you go to? I think it's a pride thing too that men won't go to a counselor. I've asked DH so many times to go because he is terrible about bottling things up. I hate it when he shuts down. No communication is the worst thing for a marriage.

 

jenna/Econ - hope you both are doing ok and I can't wait to hear how your babies are doing!!!!

 

gusita/regina - Hope you ladies are both doing well! Thinking about you, it's getting closer!

 

Meg - Averie is probably making that noise because she really likes the sound of it. Does she look at you for a reaction when she makes it? If she does I would just make sure you let her know you do not like it, no smiling at it, etc. Telling her sshh, it's not a nice sound, and so on.

 

Drama - enjoy your day off!! I think it's great you have Gwen in DC and are taking advantage of the time you have to spend it on yourself.

 

 

---

azure sky
Message #14619 - 12/14/10 05:08 PM

eh -- Had to chime in to also say I'm sorry about your tough time. I think Mutt put it well--it is hard to go from being a workaholic to a working mom. One reason why I love this board so much is that there are a good number of career women on here. Having a career is a bit different, in that you have to really show your dedication and hard work to climb the ladder. That is so tough to do when you are dog tired because you are 10 weeks pregnant, or can barely move because you had a c-section. It amazed me how physically occupied I was by pregnancy, and now by mothering. DH is so much less affected because he is the same, strong, strapping man he has always been. Sure, he gets tired sometimes, but nothing like where I am at.

Drama, I agree that being the mother of a young child is hard. Sometimes I feel like there is just an endless list needing my attention. The house needs to be kept clean and running, I am trying to finish a book, I can't look like c.rap all the time (I need a haircut! Half my clothes don't fit!), and, wait....I'm also supposed to be a loving wife who doesn't ignore her DH?? All this without mentioning my LO. Or Christmas shopping, cards, etc. Or the hour I spend during the workday pumping. Sigh....

However, DS has just entered the most wonderful stage. I think I am madly in love with him. I had a hard time bonding at first, so it is so joyful to feel brimming over with love for my sweet, fat, silly, little Bubby. He just smiles, laughs, and plays. It is awesome, and I hope it never ever goes away.

---

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14620 - 12/14/10 06:29 PM

test post...

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14621 - 12/14/10 06:33 PM

I think the shrieking was encouraged because the first couple times she did it, it was so random and....cute.  Of course, now I wish I could take back any smiling or laughing!  I did try OldFosterMom's suggestion and when she did it today at breakfast, I whispered "Shh, no screaming."  She thought that was funny, but she did stop...until a minute later, when she did it again.  We'll see how it goes.  She's been doing it for probably a month now, so it's getting old fast.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14622 - 12/14/10 06:39 PM



Azure I hear you.  Just with Gwen, my job, my marriage and our dogs it feels like I am juggling a ton of bricks.  DH does quite a bit more around the house than he used to, but there still seems to be an endless list of things I need to get done (like you said, get a hair cut, I need clothes, shower so I don't stink, lol). 


I don't like to "complain" too much becuase I know DH feels the same way and his job requires him to work SEVEN days a week right now from 4-2pm and it feels silly to whine.

 

I wouldn't trade Gwen or my life for anything, it's just been a shock at how much a child "disrupts" my life and also makes me wonder how the heck I was juggling all this stuff BEFORE I had a kid! 

 

Took a two hour nap and I feel pretty good, not usually much of a nap person but this time it was nice.  Hogged tbe bed and comforter and took a nap with the dog.  Making sure unlike Thanksgiving I keep my boobs on their pumping schedule. 

[Virgil Showlion]

stina72
Message #14623 - 12/14/10 07:33 PM



Hi ladies!  I'm looking to join the board, if it's ok?!  I have lurked here for a while now and finally decided it's probably time to come out of lurkerdom! 

 

My DH and I have been married since June, and together for a total of about 5 years.  We decided in October that I would come off of birth control so we could start trying for a baby.  While we haven't been married long, the talk of kids came up early and often in our relationship, so we have both been very open with each other about our desire for children for quite some time now.

 

I will say the thing that drew me to this board is the variety of topics discussed.  You ladies discuss all things from money related topics to diapering and feeding.  While I have many friends with children (actually, I'm pretty much the only one who doesn't have kids), it's interesting to hear suggestions and advice from as many different people as possible when it comes to all things relating to children!  I also like that you ladies are pretty straight forward.  There doesn't seem to be much sugar coating and tip-toeing...definitely something I can appreciate. 

 

If there is anything I forgot, let me know.  Other than that I look forward to getting to know you all and contributing what I can!


P.S.-Hello to Drama from a fellow Omahan!

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14624 - 12/14/10 07:41 PM

Test post before I type too much.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14625 - 12/14/10 07:45 PM



Okay, WIR seems to be allowing me to post.  I have good news.  I'm officially going back to my old job.  I turned in my notice today.  I am leaving the world of public relations and will be the Cops & Courts reporter for my local newspaper.

I think it's a good move.  I've missed reporting a lot.  My commute is going to go from 1 hour and 15 minutes each way to 5 minutes.  My day shift will not start until 10 a.m. so I'll get to be home with Avery every morning, and I won't get home that much later than I do now.  Plus, they're giving me more vacation time.  And they are really happy to have me back, which makes me feel good.

stina, Welcome to the board!  Good luck TTC.  Hopefully you'll find this board to be as helpful as I have.

Drama, I hope you're enjoying your day off.  I think it's great you're getting a little alone time.  We all need that.  And I'm glad you got out of jury duty.

---

Soon to be Mom of 3
Message #14626 - 12/14/10 07:48 PM

Rejoining this thread.  I joined last year when I was pg with DD (formerly Baby Boo Due in March 2010 (or something like that) ).  Was very surprised and shocked to find out on Thanksgiving night that I am pregant again.  Very surprised since both DS and DD over a year of TTC each to conceive and this one is a "oops" baby.

Since I wasn't charting/temping or even keeping track of my periods with this one, I think I am around 7 wks 3 days, due in late July 2011.  DS and new baby will be 4 years apart, DD and new baby will be 16 months apart.

---

eh230
Message #14627 - 12/14/10 07:48 PM

Congrats KGB!!!  You must relieved.  I think it also sounds super fun to be a crime reporter. 

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14628 - 12/14/10 08:06 PM

KGB - Sounds like a great move. Congrats!

[Virgil Showlion]

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14629 - 12/14/10 08:19 PM



stina - welcome and good luck TTC!

 

soon - welcome back, and congratulations!

 

kgb - congrats! sounds like this is a great move for you and your family!

---

GusitaRenker
Message #14630 - 12/14/10 08:39 PM

kgb-That's awesome! Huge congrats to you! Your five minute commute time sounds awesome, and it's awesome that you will have more time with Avery.

 I think it also sounds super fun to be a crime reporter.

Hehe, me too!

Soon to be-Welcome back and congrats on your new pregnancy!

Stina-Welcome and lots of baby dust to you! I am a message board junkie, but this one is definitely my favorite because it seems like we can express different opinions about controversial things in a sane, calm manner without killing each other

Meg-Good luck on controlling Averie's shrieking. I would probably have done the same thing you did and laughed at her the first time she did it. Glad the semester is almost over for you!

Gardnergirl-Thanks for thinking of me I'm doing good, just wondering how much more my calves and fingers can swell up before they explode, LOL. My jeans were actually tight on my calves yesterday.

Jenna and Econ-I hope you ladies and your new babies are doing great!

KJSH-How are you doing?

Regina-I hope you and your little one are doing okay!

Lube talk-I love Astroglide. It's definitely my favorite; KY is just too sticky for my liking. TMI here, but when DH and I were TTC, I didn't want to use any lube at all if we could help it because I had heard it could be bad for sperm (and I was too cheap to buy Preseed). DH and I would focus on making sure I had an orgasm before we even started actual sex to try to get things as favorable and lubricated as possible down there. Maybe that combined with a good lube like Astroglide or Preseed  would help?

Division of labor-DH is really great about helping out with cleaning/cooking right now, so I'm not too worried about that changing once Brett comes. He's been working 60 hours now M-F for about 6 months straight, so I try to handle all the daily things M-F (dishes, keeping the kitchen wiped down/cleaned up, dusting tables, vacuuming furniture, running our Roomba (awesome for keeping all the pet hair off our hardwood floors), one load of laundry a day) and I cook dinner M-F. DH does all the cooking on the weekend, handles the daily stuff, and tackles some bigger projects that need to be done once a week (cleaning the littler box, mowing, weed eating, etc.). If I need more help during the week, he's always been more than willing to do whatever I need him to do. However, we're a little bit different than a lot of couples because I work from home and my schedule is insanely flexible, so I can pretty much work whenever I want and decide how much I want to work. DH gets overtime for everything over 40 hours, so it makes sense financially for me to work a few less hours if I need to handle some things around the house. 

---

KRR627
Message #14631 - 12/14/10 08:42 PM

Illinicheme - welcome!

Drama - yay for getting some time to relax!  Enjoy your time off.

eh - hugs.

Meg - best of luck with the shrieking.  The suggestions you got sound good to me - hope they help.

stina72 - welcome!  I also live in Nebraska.   Best wishes on TTC - it can be quite the journey (in both the good and frustrating way).  I've learned a lot by hanging out here.

KGB - congrats on your new (old?) job!  If it were me, I'd be jumping up and down with reducing my commute time so much.  I do travel for my job, but I can't imagine spending 2 hours of my day driving to and from work in addition to the actual work!  (Yes, I am spoiled living out in the middle of nowhere and traffic is reasonable.)

Mom of 3 - congrats!  Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14632 - 12/14/10 08:44 PM

Then you've answered your own question.  If a guy can't take over cooking and cleaning in a household with 2 adults, then he won't be an equal partner with child rearing.  A baby makes a lot more work than keeping a 2 adult household.  Honestly, I wouldn't procreate under these circumstances. 

Hmm. Maybe I misunderstood your original suggestion. Not sure how wishing he'd be a bit more 50/50 became he has to do 100% or it's impossible to add a baby to the mix.

(Time and effor to care for a newborn) >= (Time and effort to run a 2 adult household)

If B>H then H<0.5(B+H) 

If he isn't willing and able to do 100% of the housework and cooking when you have leverage (no help=no babies), then he isn't going to do anywhere near 50% of the housework and child rearing when the baby comes.  It's not the end of the world.  Most women are in this situation and survive.  But if you aren't willing to have a child with a man who is not an equal partner, then it makes sense to make him prove he is up to the task before you get pregnant and are stuck.  

The other issue is difficult pregnancies.  Plenty of guys who claim they love their wives are perfectly willing to sit on their arses and let their pregnant wives run themselves ragged and end up spending their whole pregnancies in chronic pain and sick.  If you don't want this to happen to you, the it makes sense to let your husband prove himself.   

---

PalmettoLady
Message #14633 - 12/14/10 09:01 PM

Guista: What kind of Roomba do you have, what do you think of it? I've been wanting one for awhile now I'm just apprehensive--- like it's too good to be true. HaHa. I was thinking of picking up a used one on E-Bay that way if I don't like it I'm not out the big retail price...

---

GusitaRenker
Message #14634 - 12/14/10 09:42 PM

Palmetto-This is the one we have:
store.irobot.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11033987&cp=2501652&s=D-StorePrice-IRBT&ab=CMS_IRBT_100909&parentPage=family
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. We have all hard surfaces in our house (tile and hardwood) and four cats and a dog. The Roomba is wonderful at keeping up all the hair on the floors that these creatures create. I'm not sure how well it works on carpet (simply because we don't have any), but it is great on hard surfaces. It is pricey, but it was definitely worth it for DH and myself. We've had it for about a year now, and it is still working great.

[Virgil Showlion]

illinicheme
Message #14635 - 12/14/10 09:52 PM

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. We have all hard surfaces in our house (tile and hardwood) and four cats and a dog. The Roomba is wonderful at keeping up all the hair on the floors that these creatures create. I'm not sure how well it works on carpet (simply because we don't have any), but it is great on hard surfaces. It is pricey, but it was definitely worth it for DH and myself. We've had it for about a year now, and it is still working great.

We also have a Roomba - I forget which model. (It was a wedding present from my coworkers 5 years ago.) It worked great when we just had cats, but once we got a dog, it easily got overwhelmed. (We've got a very fluffy German shepherd.)

---

anne81
Message #14636 - 12/14/10 09:57 PM

drama - this is waaay TMI but you know that I've had problems with painful DTD since giving birth to DS.  Lube won't solve all problems, unfortunately.  Sometimes the muscles in your pelvic floor can spasm and tighten (like a bad back) but you won't really notice it until you put something in there (like DTD).  You might see if this helps.  My PT taught me to do trigger point therapy on myself - you put your finger in there and press on a painful spot, pretty hard, for as long as you can stand it.  Do it often.  The pressure will cause the muscle to release.  Switch to another spot.  It's done wonders for my love life, as well as plenty of kegels.  You might also try switching positions - I have a mild prolapse that presses against that area and it's better at certain angles.  If you find you have painful spots in there you should probably ask for a referral to a PT who specializes in post-partum issues.  They can at least check you out and tell you if it's just a hormonal issue.

eh - I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time still.  Is your husband the primary caretaker?  I was thinking if he was that finding someone/someplace that could take your son for few hours during the week might help you guys balance out your DH's need for alone time and marriage time.

illincheme - I agree with the others that say having a child can really disrupt the balance in a marriage.  I think it's great that you guys are talking about it.

Roomba - we have one too!  It's awesome with pets.

---

boos_mom
Message #14637 - 12/14/10 10:01 PM



kgb - congrats on getting your old job back!  I do agree that 2.5 hrs commuting is a huge negative for a job.  Great present for yourself!

meg - hope the shrieking stops soon and that she finds a new, non-annoying accomplishment to revel in. 

azure - glad that you've entered into the 'love' phase with DS.  Unfortunately, it didn't last that long for me when the terrible two's started 6 months before turning two.  But #2 is still quite a charmer when he's not having a melt down.

stina - welcome and good luck TTC

soon - welcome back and congrats! 

---

boos_mom
Message #14638 - 12/14/10 10:06 PM



anne - how are you doing?  Sorry, I had to laugh when your post made me think of someone asking a massage therapist to do that type of massaging.  Unfortunately, that's not a certified massage therapist's or a PT's purview....  I'm glad you got the PT and are recovering though.

roomba - my friend said that it did make small knicks in the paint on the wall baseboards. 

---

azure sky
Message #14639 - 12/14/10 10:23 PM

Wow....everyone is here. Anne, Mutt, Boos_Mom, the whole gang! So glad to have you all as a sounding board!

---

anne81
Message #14640 - 12/14/10 10:26 PM

boos_mom - lol!  It's pretty intimate alright - that's why I was more than happy to do it myself!  There's nothing dignified about making babies.  I'm doing okay - how are you?

azure - I've been reading on and off but struggling with our decision to not have another baby.  So feeling a lot of envy and sadness.  Getting better though.  Glad to hear you've fallen in love with your baby - it's so great when they can interact and are more aware. 

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #14641 - 12/14/10 10:27 PM

roomba - my friend said that it did make small knicks in the paint on the wall baseboards.

I tell myself it's knocking the dirt and the dust off my baseboards so it's all good.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14642 - 12/14/10 10:43 PM



azure - I'm with you finally enjoying your baby.  I felt so obsessed with DS not sleeping for the first 9 months, that it really impacted how I felt about him.  I learned to relax a little. He started sleeping better (still not all night everynight, but once a twice a week he now goes all night long) and he is just amazing.  He chases me (or hubby or his uncle) around the living room and plays peekaboo with us and just laughs so hard. I'm still not sure this (the board/thread) is a place that is good for me to be.  So, I'm not sure I'm going to stick around.  With DH and my setup and relationship there is a lot that I don't relate to on this thread (about idiot husbands).  Plus I felt there was a lot of stuff that really brought me down when I didn't need it. 

---

GusitaRenker
Message #14643 - 12/14/10 10:54 PM

I tell myself it's knocking the dirt and the dust off my baseboards so it's all good.

LOL Anne! I have literally had wiping down the baseboards on the do list for the last three months or so. I think I've gotten two rooms done. It's a shame they don't make a Roomba to clean walls/baseboards.
Ours will bump into the cats and try to clean around them, which I think is pretty funny, especially since one of them likes to ride around on it.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14644 - 12/14/10 11:04 PM



Congrats Kgb on getting a "new" job!

 

Gwen is a little flipping machine!  I brought her home early and decided to do tummy time, she kept trying to flipping over onto her back.  As soon as she got on her back she was attempting to roll over onto her stomach. 

 

Doesn't have it perfected yet, she got quite pissed when she was stuck on her stomach for a bit before she figured out how to get back over. 

 

She's going to be moving before I know it, god help me.

---

regina24601
Message #14645 - 12/14/10 11:29 PM



Hey everyone!  Thanks for the well wishes.  I had my 36 week check up today, and my dr was not concerned at all about my fall (well, he was a little concerned with my bruises and cuts, but not concerned about the baby).  She had a good heartbeat, and all appears to be well.  Also, he checked my cervix and said her head is really low in my pelvis and that my cervix is pretty thin (didn't give me a % though).  He said he predicts that I'll have an easy labor and that he doesn't say that to many of his patients (famous last words, I know, ladies - but just let me have that little glimmer of hope! )  Also, after my ridiculous 4-lbs-in-a-week weight gain last time, my weight has held steady for two weeks, so hopefully that's tapering off.  I'm right at 29 pounds gained overall, so in my mind that's plenty! 

kgb - Congrats on the new/old job!!  I hope it goes as well as you're hoping for - if nothing else, the commute alone will be awesome!!

stina and STB Mom of 3 - Welcome!!

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14646 - 12/14/10 11:34 PM

regina - SO glad to hear all is ok with you and the baby - you're in the home stretch!!

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14647 - 12/14/10 11:44 PM



Regina one of my OB's was concerned because I had not gained exactly 25 pounds, I had gained 15 by week 32.  I'd gained another 15 lbs by the time I gave birth!!

 

 

 

 

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boos_mom
Message #14648 - 12/14/10 11:57 PM



anne - have you been going to counseling with DH to discuss the no more children issue?  Does he have any sadness about it as well?  I am having some sadness seeing the kids growing up.  The time seems to be flying by.  #1 will be 6 years old next month, and I swear I can't believe it's been that long.   

muttley - we do like having you around.  I hope you change your mind.  What kind of car did you guys get?

gusita - LOL, that's too funny!  I wish you could post a video of your cat riding on it while it's in use.  You should send that in Funniest Home Videos and win some $.

regina - glad you and baby are fine.  Could be anytime now...

drama - the kids would always roll when I wasn't in the room.  So I had to pretend I was in another room to get it on video.  Glad Gwen is having fun and you got some "me" time.

---

boos_mom
Message #14649 - 12/15/10 12:02 AM



We saw a sale airfare for DH's friend's bachelor party weekend, so we booked it.  That's DH's Christmas present.  But he's going to leave Friday morning instead of Thursday like some of the other guys b/c the rate was quite a bit higher for the Thursday departure.  I told him the fare savings would go for more spending money and he was happy. 

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14650 - 12/15/10 12:22 AM

KGB, congrats on the new/old job! 

Regina, glad you and the baby are okay.  Falls are always so scary! 

Lube - I guess I'm one of the lone people that use regular KY, although we don't need it so much anymore.  We used Astroglide on our honeymoon, on the recommendation of a friend.  It gave me a rash!  That was a good time . 

Roomba - I would love one, but I think we'll have to wait until we're in a bigger place.  There's not much empty floor space where we're at now that's not taken up by furniture and toys, so I don't know how well it would work.  And we don't have pets (though I'd love to move to a pet-friendly place next so we can get a small dog) but it would be useful for picking up the seemingly-invisible pieces of stuff on the floor that Averie ALWAYS finds! 

Averie is such a stinker.  I was feeding her lunch this afternoon and she was shrieking after every bite.  My mom came over because she was watching Averie while I went to a final, and took over the feeding.  Did Averie shriek a SINGLE time while Mom was feeding her?  Nope!  She's lucky she's so cute!

Final #1 seemed to go well.  Final #2 on Thursday in Math - and it's comprehensive.  Joy. 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14651 - 12/15/10 12:44 AM



regina, I'm glad to hear you and the baby are okay.  It's so scarry to fall when you're pregnant.

muttley, I'm so glad to see you here.  We've missed you!

Sometimes the muscles in your pelvic floor can spasm and tighten (like a bad back) but you won't really notice it until you put something in there (like DTD).  You might see if this helps.  My PT taught me to do trigger point therapy on myself - you put your finger in there and press on a painful spot, pretty hard, for as long as you can stand it.  Do it often.  The pressure will cause the muscle to release. 

I guess that makes sense.  I get a lot of muscle spasms (though not in my pelvis), and I try trigger point therapy to release them.  The last time I went for a massage (wonderful, new therapist) she found a trigger point at the hinge of my jaw that is causing me jaw pain and headaches.  There's actually a hard knot on the inside of my mouth at the hinge of my jaw that I can loosen with massage.  It hurts so bad, but if you can force yourself to relax it really does help.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14652 - 12/15/10 01:30 AM

Did Averie shriek a SINGLE time while Mom was feeding her?  Nope! 

That's Gwen with my dad.  She'll fight everyone else tooth and nail on a bottle but she won't refuse him if he offers her one.  My mom thinks Gwen met her match!

[Virgil Showlion]

MuttleynFelix
Message #14653 - 12/15/10 01:46 AM



boos - We got a Nissan Murano. It is soooooo COOL!! LOL. And HUGE.  It has a backup camera! Which was not something we were interested in, but the fact that it has it, makes it that much cooler.  We got an AWESOME deal too. And I finally get to drive it to work tomorrow (I did get to test drive it, but only about a mile, while DH took it on the freeway and quite a ways).

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azure sky
Message #14654 - 12/15/10 01:58 AM

Regina -- That is awesome! Nobody ever acted like I'd have an easy labor, so I'd take that as a good sign. It is always good to have a positive and upbeat attitude going into labor.

Mutt -- I'm glad you like your new car. My DH seems to have been cured of his idiot ways (knock wood). I finally went and just bought some of the hypo-allergenic formula. It was $40 for 16 oz, but the real issue is that it stank. We tried to give DS some and he vomited, cried, and refused to go near it. I have to admit that the smell made me gag some, too. DH promptly decided that formula probably was not the answer to all of our problems, lol.

We've been communicating far better, too. I have really been putting some effort into the relationship and seeing dividends. Tonight he is working hard on a stats final and I went and got him a pizza for dinner. That might sound like nothing much, but remember that I haven't had a pizza for over 6 and a half months. To fill the house with the warm aroma of pizza when I am not allowed wheat or cheese was me being --> When he was grading papers I slipped in a fake paper about how much I loved him. I'm on a roll .  I do think a lot of it does have to do with hitting more of a stride and DS reaching a more interactive and fun age.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14655 - 12/15/10 02:12 AM

azure - Those are awesome little things. It's amazing how the little things can really make a big difference.  Hubby let me sleep in last weekend and I was in heaven. It was the first in a long time I was the last one out of bed. He does let me know how much he appreciates me letting him sleep in as late as possible most days.

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stina72
Message #14656 - 12/15/10 03:18 AM



Everyone-Thanks for the warm welcome, I'm hoping to be able to contribute here and there on things.  I will most definitely give congrats and well wishes to everyone throughout their individual journeys though, since I'm currently childless and lack a lot of experience on that front!

KRR-I now remember seeing you are from Nebraska, but for some reason I seem to think you are not super close to Omaha? Maybe I am wrong...I lurked too long and now am now forgetting things I read so long ago!

Gusita-Love the picture of your cat!  That is adorable! 

KGB-Congrats on your job!  I worked for a criminal defense attorney for 5.5 years and miss it like crazy, so I can totally see how thrilled you would be to get back into the world of the courts and such! 

Regina-So glad everything checked out ok with you at the doctor!

Roomba-I have always thought these were wonderful!  Our dogs are a little weird with things that move (children's toys will be interesting to introduce once we finally get our BFP!), and I think they would have a serious meltdown about it!

Tonight I did get to spend some time with a friend and her little one who was born in November, while it doesn't really do much to cure my baby fever anymore, it is still wonderful to be able to have some time with a little one!

---

azure sky
Message #14657 - 12/15/10 04:19 AM

Oh, such sad news tonight. A friend lost her newborn

I have never been so affected by the death of a baby. DH and I just held each other and cried, cried, cried for awhile after I put LO to bed. I hope I can be the support she deserves.

---

KRR627
Message #14658 - 12/15/10 06:47 AM

KRR-I now remember seeing you are from Nebraska, but for some reason I seem to think you are not super close to Omaha? Maybe I am wrong...I lurked too long and now am now forgetting things I read so long ago!

I'm in Lincoln, so not too far away.  Only an hour, maybe less depending which part of the cities you are traveling between.

Gusita, I agree with stina.  That picture of your cat is hilarious!

Muttley - I checked out a picture of your new car.  I like the style of it.

azure - yay for progress with DH!  All the little things we do for our spouses adds up and I'm sure your DH was appreciative.  I know that small things my DH says or does for me make me love him that much more!

So sorry to hear about your friend's newborn.  Please give her a hug for me.

Tonight I did get to spend some time with a friend and her little one who was born in November, while it doesn't really do much to cure my baby fever anymore, it is still wonderful to be able to have some time with a little one!

Stina - I feel the baby fever too.  DH and I are on month #7 of TTC.  And I felt emotionally ready for about 6 months before that but we waited to get a bit more emergency fund built up since I want to be a SAHM.  So it feels much longer than reality.  I too am excited to see friends' and family's little ones because it's fun to be with them, but it's also painful because I can't stop wondering when it will be our turn.  Hoping that Christmas will be more of the former and less of the latter.  My period is due this weekend so at least if it arrives I will have a few days to deal with the emotions before I have to face everyone and hope they don't ask if I'm pregnant yet.  (We haven't specifically told family we're TTC but I think they can guess based on my responses to certain questions.)

[Virgil Showlion]

jenna30-
Message #14659 - 12/15/10 07:20 AM

Hey, gang.

Baby E was born 12/9  around 9 pm via emergency c-section.  Baby and I are doing well... though I'm exhausted.

I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and will post again when not so "exhausted."

Thanks, everyone... for all the kind thoughts.

Sending best wishes to all Dec. mommys & wondering how Econ is doing.

---

GusitaRenkr
Message #14660 - 12/15/10 08:19 AM

Jenna-Glad to hear you and Baby E are doing well! Sorry you are so exhausted; I hope you can get some rest (I know, definitely easier said than done).
Regina-I'm so glad you and baby LMSK (I think I have that right!) are okay! I hope your doctor is 100 hundred percent correct and you have an insanely easy labor!

Boosmom-Hehe, that's an idea! I told DH all of these cats would be profitable one of these days  I'm glad you got your DH's airfare booked at a good rate and he'll get more spending money that way! The party is in Vegas, right?

Stina and KRR-Thanks ladies! I think he's pretty cute, but I'm also a bit biased


Azure-I am so sorry to hear about your friend's newborn. I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14661 - 12/15/10 12:04 PM



Azure - How sad.

Jenna - Congrats.

KRRR - Thanks.

Anne - I've been using the pump you sent me the last couple months. Wow. What a difference from my old lansinoh!  I can pump a lot more quicly with the Medela. Of course by the time I used it, my body was use to pumping for longer periods of time and my supply took a hit, but once I figured out I had to pump longer no matter what, I've been pumping more than I have since this summer. Starting the first of the year, I'm going to drop down to one pumping session and hopefully be done by DS's birthday on Jan 21.  Thank you so much. 

 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14662 - 12/15/10 01:13 PM



azure, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's baby. 

jenna, Congratulations!  How exciting to have your LO in time for Christmas!!  Just take it easy and rest as much as you can.

Gusita, The picture of your cat cracked me up.  My cat would probably do that.  He's such a mischief maker.

We got a Nissan Murano.

Those are really nice.  I ended up getting rid of my Subaru Forester in the spring and upgrading to an Outback.  I absolutely love it.  It's got a ton of space, it handles really well and the all-wheel drive is awesome in the snow, which we've unfortunately been dealing with a lot already this winter.  It is so cold here.  We're trying not to take Avery outside, but sometimes it can't be helped.  I have to take her to my MIL's before work tomorrow.  I'm dreading it.  Thank goodness I won't have to leave the house that early in a couple more weeks!

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14663 - 12/15/10 01:36 PM

I had to post again.  DH just texted me and said, "Trying to tell a 1-year-old with syrup covered hands not to touch her hair just makes a game out of touching her hair." 

---

yogiii
Message #14664 - 12/15/10 01:52 PM



jenna - congrats on Baby E!!

 

muttley - How exciting to have pumping come to an end.  I don't know about you but I hate it.  I'm still doing 3 sessions a day but I work really long hours and leave the house at 530 am.  I've probably got at least a months worth of daytime pumping supply in the freezer, so I'm hoping I can stop or at least start to wind down in April.

 

azure - Glad things are going better with your DH.  I love the phase our boys are in now too.  DS just laughs and smiles all the time.  He's been consistently waking up only at 3 or 4 am for 1 MOTN feeding since starting solids, he's gaining weight, things are looking up. 

[Virgil Showlion]

azure sky
Message #14665 - 12/15/10 02:04 PM

Thanks you all for thinking of my friend. I feel so sad for her...it definitely made the morning daycare drop-off just a bit more tender. I am thinking of all my blessings.

Jenna -- I also had an emergency c-section, and it was definitely exhausting! I'm sending healing thoughts your way. Congrats on your new LO, and please know that soon enough you will be up and able to do all the things you want.

Mutt & Yogii -- I am also eager to join the "Done with Pumping" club. I feel like my supply has never regulated: I'll get 11 oz in one pumping session, then 2 oz another time. I am trying to rebuild my freezer stash (I had to throw what I had out after DS developed new food sensitivities, but it wasn't much in the first place), so we'll see if I can get ahead enough. At this point, I'm pretty sure we'll make it to a year with BF'ing, but I hate pumping more than I hate giving up dairy, soy, and wheat.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14666 - 12/15/10 02:21 PM

I'm in Lincoln, so not too far away

I had no idea I had two posters so close to me!  It would be cool if we could all meet up sometime.

 

Jenna-congrats on having the baby, now you two get some rest!

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14667 - 12/15/10 02:22 PM



Azure & Yogii - I never know how much I am going to pump on a given day, but I think I have finally relaxed about it. Our freezer stash has dwindled down to maybe 30oz or so. I had a hard seeing that, but I just had to realize that is what it is there for.  Fortunately, DS has shown no food issues. I do think going from breastmilk to whole milk is going to be a little rough of a transition.  So, I want DH to gradually add whole milk in with BM and start just giving it with meals instead of an hour ahead of time.  I'm still going to nurse past a year. I have no interest in trying to wean DS when there is no reason to. But man pumping sucks!

kgb - We got all wheel drive as well since it was going to be a necessity for our driveway.  Fortunately, the weather hasn't been too bad here, just cold.  We don't take DS out a whole lot (or at least try not to) when it is really cold out.  Plus right now he has been pretty stuffed up, so definately don't want to take with that.

---

PalmettoLady
Message #14668 - 12/15/10 02:22 PM



Mutt: We have a Murano and we LOVE LOVE LOVE it. So how excited are you!? I couldn't love the backup camera more!--- I can FINALLY parallel park! It's a miracle if you knew how badly I couldn't do it before. LOL.

 

Roomba: Man you guys have me wanting one 10X more now than before! I guess it really is as fabulous as I think it is! We just bought a new TV on black friday ($300) so I don't know about another $300 household item right now, but, I am seriously considering a used one from  EBay. I feel like we are just spending insane amounts of money between household things and all the baby stuff (It's all been saved for and planned but still), I have a garage full of boxes from mail order baby stuff, the UPS guy has been at my house like everyday for a week, LOL. I just tell myself "I saved it for a long time (6 Months of TTC and 20 weeks of being PG) so now it's OK to spend it and have what you want the way you want it!".

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14669 - 12/15/10 02:25 PM



Palmetto- I adore it!!  It is just so cool. Plus when you drive around with an almost 11 month old in a 2 door car, the thing just feels HUGE.  So much space.  DH let me drive it into work today!!  ETA:  I felt like we spent like crazy when we were getting ready for DS.  We got tons of boxes.  DH also makes fun of me because back in October we had to change our cloth diaper strategy and I bought a bunch of stuff (used). So we were constantly getting diapers in the mail and I was getting a package like everyday. He is now making fun of me because I haven't bought any new diapers in a month.

---

regina24601
Message #14670 - 12/15/10 02:26 PM



Oh, azure, how terribly sad.  I'm so sorry for your friend.  No one should have to go through that. 

kgb - That text cracked me up!  I can only imagine how sticky Avery's head is right now!

jenna - Congrats on baby E!!!    Sounds like a rough delivery, but I'm glad you're recovering now.

Mutt - Since you mentioned pumps, I was hoping to bring up that topic (it probably has been brought up before, but I forget).  I'm hoping to breastfeed, and I'll need to pump since I'll be coming back to work after 12 weeks.  I'm holding off on getting any sort of pump until LMSK is born and I make sure that she's going to be able to breastfeed.  Anyway, I shouldn't need a pump in the first few weeks (and if I do for some reason, we'll make some mad dashes to get it done).

My sisters have always rented hospital grade pumps and they SWEAR by them.  They say they pump so much faster and they never had supply issues.  Problem is, I'm super tight-fisted.    So I need a good, double electric pump, but I'm wondering if I really need a hospital-grade one.  After calling around all the places here in town that rent pumps, the average monthly cost to rent one is about $50 (plus you have to buy a tubing kit for it, which is about $50, although you can reuse the tubing kit for another baby as long as it's sterilized).  I can buy a Medela Pump-in-Style (not hospital-grade, but it gets really good reviews) for about $250.  So if I pump for more than 5 months (which I plan to), it makes more sense to just buy one.  Not to mention the fact that I would plan to use it again for another child in a couple of years.

Thoughts anyone?  Is the difference between a P-I-S and a Symphony (the hospital grade Medela pump) really that noticeable to most people?  Thanks in advance!

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14671 - 12/15/10 02:35 PM



Call your insurance company, some insurance companies will pay for pumps but they don't advertise the fact.

 

I rented a Medela hospital grade one (I forget which brand) and I currently have a Pump-in-Style.  I noticed a difference the first couple times I used it, but I couldn't tell you which one was better now because I've been using the Pump-in-Style since my third week on maternity leave.  I find it suitable for my needs.

 

My only gripe about it is it is not hands free, I'd like to be able to do something other than sit holding nipple shields to my boobs. I kinda wish now I'd gone for one of the FreeStyles up for auction on ebay.

 

My supply changed noticebaly more when I went from breastfeeding every day to pumping three times a day.  I didn't notice that much a difference when I switched pumps.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14672 - 12/15/10 02:36 PM



Regina - The only reason I would recommend a hospital grade pump is if you a preemie or serious supply issues. Hospital grade pumps are heavy and not something you are going to want to carry back and forth to work.  The Medela P.ISA is a good pump (Anne gave me her old one).  Several people I have talked to have said they pump in less than 10 minutes with the P.ISA.  I'm not sure what Yogii and Azure's experience, but I know if I had started with it, that would have worked for me. Unfortunately my body was use to pumping 15 to 20 min by the time I switched to the P.ISA (DS was 9 months old at the time) and I have to pump longer to keep my supply up.  HTH.  So, my vote is definately for the P.ISA.

OK, gals. I've got to get working. Have a great day.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14673 - 12/15/10 02:50 PM

I do think going from breastmilk to whole milk is going to be a little rough of a transition.  So, I want DH to gradually add whole milk in with BM and start just giving it with meals instead of an hour ahead of time. 

We tried giving Avery whole milk and she didn't want it, so we mixed it with her formula and gradually changed the ratio of formula to milk until it was all milk.  She still takes her milk in a bottle, one first thing in the morning and one before bed.  Once my schedule changes after the first of the year and I'll be home with her in the mornings, I'm going to work on cutting out that morning bottle and having her drink her milk in a cup with breakfast.  Right now the bottle of milk is sort of the breakfast appetizer and about 90 minutes later she has breakfast.

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regina24601
Message #14674 - 12/15/10 02:51 PM

My only gripe about it is it is not hands free,

Drama - My coworker recommended I invest in one of [www.diapers.com/product/productdetail.aspx?productid=8565] these for just that issue.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14675 - 12/15/10 02:52 PM



Anyone had success going straight to a sippy cup?  I am thinking about trying that because then I only have to wean Gwen once, I don't have to wean her off my boob and then off the bottle.  It's still way too early for it, but it's something I've been thinking about.

 

So Regina those bands work with any pump?  I might make that my Christmas gift to myself!

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stina72
Message #14676 - 12/15/10 02:57 PM



Azure-I'm so incredibly sorry for your friend, what a heartbreaking situation. 

KRR-I'm a Lincoln girl at heart.  I was born and raised there, and my family and friends are still all there!  DH has a career in which moving is the name of the game (started in Minnesota, then Iowa, and now two different places in Nebraska), so we just moved from Lincoln to Omaha about 4 months ago.  We were also ready for kids long before now.  We were initially going to begin trying in June, right after our wedding, but DH got the bug to get a new job, so that took the front seat for a bit!  I agree that seeing friends and family with their children is a little bittersweet, it's a beautiful thing but so incredibly hard all at the same time.  We have a small group of people that know we are TTC (my parents are ultra antsy because I am an only child, so they have no grandchildren and they have zero chance of having any aside from those I'm gracious enough to give them ) and they have been nice enough not to bring it up incessantly, at least so far!

Jenna-Congrats on your new addition!  I hope you have a speedy and uneventful recovery!

Drama-A Nebraska pow-wow would be fun!

KGB-I can only picture the scene at your house, I'm sure your DH had quite the fun time with clean up!

[Virgil Showlion]

regina24601
Message #14677 - 12/15/10 03:00 PM



I lived in Lincoln from the time I was 2 until I graduated high school!  Aw man...now I want some Amigo's.  Mmmm...and Valentino's.  Yay Nebraska girls!!

And Drama - I think you can use that band with any pump.  I know my coworker used it with her P-I-S, and she loved loved loved it.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14678 - 12/15/10 03:04 PM

Awesome, I am so buying that! 

---

yogiii
Message #14679 - 12/15/10 03:06 PM



drama - I gave DS a sippy at 6 months.  He will drink from it but has a hard time getting the last 1/2 oz or so out so usually MIL lets him drink that last bit from a bottle.  Sometimes for his 3rd drink of the day he will refuse the sippy and wants MIL to hold him and give him a bottle.

 

regina  - I have a hospital grade pump and I think it is worth it but I also have a low supply (and a skinny baby that doesn't drink much), so not sure which caused which.   I usually pump 20 mins just because I want to get every last drop but 95% of what I get is probably within the first 10 mins.

 

The reason I have such a large freezer stash is because I have been pumping an extra session every night since DS was 1 month old.  I'm hoping to stop that soon because it is killing me.

 

muttley - I was wondering about when to do food and drink together.  Right now I am giving DS bmilk about an hour before his meals too

---

stina72
Message #14680 - 12/15/10 03:35 PM

Regina-I do like Amigos and Valentinos, we have both in Omaha thankfully, but the place I miss the most is Taco Inn.  It's so bad and greasy, but it's the best Americanized Mexican food in my eyes!  I definitely drive through every time I am in town! 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14681 - 12/15/10 03:36 PM

Drama, Avery was resistant to the sippy at first.  (Keep in mind I didn't breastfeed, so it was bottle to cup.)  It took me a bit to figure out what was going on.  She had no clue liquid was supposed to come out of the cup so she wasn't sucking.  She was just mad that I was sticking a piece of plastic in her mouth.  So I took the valve out for a day or two.  It was a little wet, but she got the idea that stuff was supposed to come out.  Then, when I put the valve back in she worked to get the liquid out and it was all good.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14682 - 12/15/10 03:49 PM

Hmm. . .guess we'll play around with it when it comes time to wean.  I'll ask our pediatrician about it next time we go in because we'll be discussing solids anyhow since it'll be her six month WBV.

[Virgil Showlion]

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14683 - 12/15/10 04:03 PM



HOSPITAL GRADE PUMPS:

Regina, first off, it is very useful to have a pump when you bring the baby home from the hospital.  If you pump for 15 minutes after nursing your LO, then you will be telling your body to produce more.  That first 6 weeks is absolutely crucial to establishing your supply.  If you are complacent, then you're not going to have a good supply.  I would suggest renting the hospital grade one for a month or two and then getting a decent double electric pump if everything works out. 

Secondly, many hospitals have pumps in the rooms, so you just have to remember to take the tubing kit that is sitting in your room rather than paying for one.  (Yes, they are new, sterile tubing kits.)  And don't forget to take the yellow circle things.  Make sure that the lactation consultant stops by so you'll know you're doing it right and have the right accessories.  When I had DS1, the lactation lady had to give me a different size suction cup thingy since ..well nevermind. 

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regina24601
Message #14684 - 12/15/10 04:11 PM

That's really helpful, Former - I hadn't thought about pumping in the first few weeks to get my supply up.  I was just thinking of nursing since I'll have nothing but time on my hands.  And thanks for the heads up on pumping at the hospital.  I definitely plan to meet with the lactation consultant before going home.  Thanks!

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14685 - 12/15/10 04:19 PM



azure - I am so sorry for your friend. My heart goes out to her - I couldn't imagine.

 

Jenna - congratulations! I hope you're resting and will catch us up soon!

 

Roomba - never had this one, but we had the Scooba, the floor mop. The dog loved the slow chase, but it eventually stopped working. I would have been a lot more mad if we paid regular price for it, but we paid $35 for it brand new at Sears. DH is a deal chaser...

 

kgb - that made me crack up!

 

Pumps - my friend that was on bed rest for 8 weeks ending up not being able to breast feed so I bought her brand new (used 4-5 times) pump-in-style for $150. I am going to get replacement parts. She said that she invested in a special nursing bra that allowed her hands to be free during pumping and it made a world of difference so I am definitely going to invest in one of those.

 

My contractions continue, but the medication (terbutaline) is helping to stop them. I am getting worried that the meds will stop working at some point, but I am trying to not let those thoughts get to me. I will be 30 weeks on Friday - it seriously has flown by. But I really cannot wait to hold my little guy.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14686 - 12/15/10 04:19 PM



I wish I'd had access to the lacation consultant before I left, it's a crock of crap that I didn't get to talk to her because she is "off" on the weekends.  Have another one available like my employer does then so they can rotate weekends!

 

My milk started coming in when I was in the hospital. I was totally the opposite and had no business pumping that early.  It wasn't till I was producing enough to feed an army that I finally got ahold of the LC.  Trying to fix that mess was a nightmare.

 

you just have to remember to take the tubing kit that is sitting in your room rather than paying for one.  (Yes, they are new, sterile tubing kits.) 

Word of warning, the set that I got from the hospital was pump specific.  It was specfically for the hospital grade Medelas the hospital rents.  The kit did not work with my Pump-in-Style so I had to buy new ones.

 

Granted the hospital ones were free so no money lost, but it would have been nice to not have to run out and buy another set. 

 

I reread the instructions and it said right there that they were pump specific, so make sure to read the instructions carefully so if you do decide to purchase another pump you know whether or not you need to buy a new tubing kit as well.

 

I am glad I kept them because I lost the stupid white flappy thing that makes the whole dang pump work!  So I took it off my hospital grade set and stuck it onto my nipple shield from my P-I-S. I  was going to be ticked if I had to go out and buy another set.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14687 - 12/15/10 04:22 PM



I don't know where my brain was this morning. I forgot to bring a bottle for Olivia to drink out of to DC. I put all her food in separate bottles and have the DC put it in the bottle that she drinks out of. I had to go home and get it. Fortunately I only live a mile from the DC but I couldn't believe I did that!

 

A LOT has been going on this board since I last checked it yesterday afternoon - wow!!

 

All this talk about a Roomba. I had no idea they were that good. We have a german shepherd, thus a lot of hair in our house and I hate it!!! We have all carpeting though except in the kitchen. I need to look into one of these...

 

azure - I'm so sorry about your friend losing her newborn! That is so sad! I immediately thought to myself what happened?? But I'm sure it would make me super sad to know.

 

stina72 - welcome and good luck TTC!!

 

STB mom of 3 - congrats on number 3! What are you hoping for? Another girl or boy?

 

It's exciting/fun to have so many moms and moms to be on this board!

 

jenna - glad you and baby are doing ok. Sorry you had to have an emergency c-section. I ended up having a c-section after 22 hours of labor and 2 and a half hours of pushing. I feel for you. Hope the pain subsides some for you soon. Are you home from the hospital yet?

 

kgb - congrats on the landing the "new" job!!! I'm so excited for you about your commute and having more time to spend with Avery.

 

drama - I've only used a sippy cup so far to give Olivia some water. She tends to suck out the water but spits a lot of it out! I think she just likes it because it's cold. I don't think she really likes to drink from it yet.

 

Mutt - I'm happy to see you on the board again too. You always had really good info on sleep for me. I really appreciate your posts.

 

ladyk - how is Kiani? You must be busy with the holidays, haven't heard from you in a while. Hope all is well.

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about jayshock. I know she left the board to spend time with DD but she had her DD around the same time I had Olivia so just wondering how she is doing  - if you are out there!

 

 

 

 

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ladyki
Message #14688 - 12/15/10 05:03 PM



Hello Ladies,

 

Hope you are all doing well. I have not had access to the internet for about two weeks, as it turned out, I just needed a new modem, lol. I need to go back a read so that I can now what is going on with you guys.

 

As for us, Kiani had a very bad stuffy nose last week. We took her to the doctor and they just showed me how to effectively put saline drops on her, lol. She still has a stuffy nose but is now doing better. She is also now constantly rolling over to her back and then back to the front and she does it like an expert, lol. I also started giving her baby jar food, stage 1 and she seems to love it. Oh and I took her to get a picture with Santa Claus on Saturday and she came out looking so cute. I will try to post a picture of her.

 

Anyways, I am going back to read some of the posts and will be back a little later.