Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #14689 - 12/15/10 05:09 PM

Drama- the pictures of Gwen are so cute. Wow she has a lot of hair. My poor Kiani is semi-bald, lol.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14690 - 12/15/10 05:15 PM

If you pump for 15 minutes after nursing your LO, then you will be telling your body to produce more.  That first 6 weeks is absolutely crucial to establishing your supply.  If you are complacent, then you're not going to have a good supply

Be very very careful with this advice. If you have a baby that latches well and eats at least 8 times a day, this can very easily set you up for an oversupply.  That sounds fine in theory, but it puts you at major risk for clogged ducts, mastitis, prolonged engorgement.  It also can lead to hindmilk/foremilk imbalance that leads to green slimy poopy diapers and it took us over a month to correct.  Letting your baby set your supply (assuming you do not have low supply) or pumping one extra time a day is healthiest for you and your baby.  PUmping for 15 minutes after nursing is setting yourself up for issues. IF you have low supply, then this is good advice, but you will not know that right away since it takes a couple days for milk to come in.

kgb - Thanks for the tip.  I was thinking about going that direction and seeing how it goes.

Yogiii - WE still do bottles/nursing an hour before meals, but when we went to my cousins wedding, they all got squished together and it didn't bother DS any. He eats a ton though.  When we were on the road he would often nurse better after eating solids because he was more familiar with where we were.  He gets water with his meals. Probably after the first of the year we will phase it in. Although he won't get any with breakfast because I'll nurse him before breakfast.

Drama - DS has had a sippy cup with water since he was 6 months. It has taken him a while to get the hang of using it although we help him with it.  We don't do milk in the sippy cup yet.  DH tried it once and DS didn't want anything to do with it.  They still cuddle while DS takes his bottle during the day (I actually got to see it once and it was so cute).  Does Gwen not take a bottle at daycare?  I know my mom said all of us kids went from breastfed to sippy cup between 8 to 10 months. So it is doable. But we never took a bottle.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14691 - 12/15/10 05:25 PM

That sounds fine in theory, but it puts you at major risk for clogged ducts, mastitis, prolonged engorgement.  It also can lead to hindmilk/foremilk imbalance that leads to green slimy poopy diapers and it took us over a month to correct

I didn't turn the corner finally till just last month.

 

Does Gwen not take a bottle at daycare? 

She does a bottle at daycare, but I EBF at home.   I think I'll talk to my pediatrician about it.   Everything I read suggests going straight from boob to sippy, but that might be for women who EBF 24/7.  He's been a ped for over 30 years so I am sure he'll have good advice on how to wean her that'll make it "easy" for both of us.

 

 

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boos_mom
Message #14692 - 12/15/10 05:31 PM



azure - I'm so sorry about your friend's baby.  That is heartbreaking.

jenna - I'm glad to hear that you and baby E are doing well.  I hope you recover steadily. 

kgb - that's too funny!

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kjsh
Message #14693 - 12/15/10 05:51 PM

Hi ladies, just popping in for a moment.  I tried to skim a bit to catch up, but I'm sure I missed some things.
Econ, Jenna - Congratulations on your babies!!!!
And welcome to the new posters!
Mutt - it's nice to see you popping in.  Even if you decide this isn't the right place for you on a regular basis I hope you'll swing by every once in a while to let us know how you, DH, and Benji (is that how you're spelling it) are doing.
Azure - nice to see you too.  How ironic that your guy didn't like the special formula at all.  My mother is particularly stubborn and I've learned over the years that sometimes I just have to give in and go with something she wants, knowing it won't work, before she'll let it go.  I am glad to hear DS is a lot more interactive and engaging.  I'm worried (well that's maybe a bit too strong of a word) about how much I'll enjoy my son in the newborn stage.  We'll just have to wait and see.
Insurance - glad the meds are still working for you.  Every day that your guy stays inside will help him be that much stronger when he does come out.  And you're really getting close to the point where he will likely have minimal challenges if he comes early.  I'll send all the anti-labor dust your way.
Ladyki - welcome back to the internets .  Sorry to hear Kiani is stuffed up.  Hopefully she clears it quickly.
Gusita - love the Roomba cat picture.  My MIL is getting one for Christmas this year and she is just ridiculously excited.  They have 5 cats! and a dog so she's getting the pet hair version.
KGB - congrats on the new job!!
I don't think my LO is coming out any time soon.  I'm 38.5 weeks and only 1cm dilated and he has not dropped at all into position.  My OB will actually be out of town Christmas weekend and she's sure that he's going to be stubborn enough that I'll go into labor as soon as she gets on the plane.  I'm okay with his staying put at least through the 20th as we have some plans and it'd be nice to finish those out.

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ladyki
Message #14694 - 12/15/10 05:51 PM

Jealous, my water never broke, they had to break it for me. 

Mine did. I started leaking little by little. By the time I got to the hospital I was all soaked. I really did not have any contractions so, I had to wait at the hospital until I was fully dilated because they would not let me go home anymore. Little by little I started getting the contractions and then that is when I asked for the epidural.

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #14695 - 12/15/10 06:04 PM

That stupid SIDS video from the hospital has him all paranoid, he keeps insisting we have to keep her in our room till she can roll over.  No way to get thru to him that she could be close to eight months by the time she rolls completely over!  That's quite a long time before we suddenly decide to switch out her beds. 

Drama- Kiani has already started to roll over. Sometimes she has a hard time rolling back to her back so I will go and help her out. I use to be really worried because I thought that she was going to roll over to her stomach and suffucate while sleeping. I still check on her and every time she is asleep on her stomach her head is always turned to the side.

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ladyki
Message #14696 - 12/15/10 06:12 PM



Econ- Congrats on baby Maggie. Oh and Happy birthday to her.

 

, I do have to wonder how some people (like Michelle Duggar) can go through 19 times.  That's alot of times of feeling like crap. 

lol, I think I can do it a couple more times, but no more than that.

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ladyki
Message #14697 - 12/15/10 06:16 PM

 I used to love steak and ribs, but just haven't had a taste/appetite for either since I got pregnant. I am hoping my taste comes back once baby Brett is evicted

I use to love pizza before getting pregnant. While pregnant I could not stand the smell or taste of it. Now I can eat it again but not as often as before.

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PalmettoLady
Message #14698 - 12/15/10 06:18 PM

Does anyone have any suggestions for a great Baby Bag? I have been looking around, I like Petunia Picklebottom (however haven't seen one in person) and I am a Coach handbag person (I've got like 6) so that's a natural to me since I love their handbags. Basically I want something that doesn't look like a baby bag, it could pass for a regular handbag, but functions like that greatest baby bag ever. I'm thinking I need something fairly medium-large sized because I am a Type A, be prepared always type person.

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anne81
Message #14699 - 12/15/10 06:23 PM



boos_mom - I'm seeing a counselor by myself.  DH has no sadness about not having more children even though he adores being with DS.  To be fair all of his reasons are valid.  Most days I'm okay with it but DS is almost 2 now (time flies!) and it seems to be hitting me hard.  He's defintely not a baby anymore.  I thought I'd be pregnant with my second by now, a lot of the moms who had babies at the same time as me in my playgroups either have their second already or are pregnant.  I'm having pretty vivid dreams where I'm pregnant.  I expect it'll get easier though.  How are you doing?

 

azure - I'm so sorry for your friend. 

 

jenna - congrats!

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ElfQ1015
Message #14700 - 12/15/10 07:01 PM

I do have to wonder how some people (like Michelle Duggar) can go through 19 times.  That's alot of times of feeling like crap. 

She is a woman who REALLY loves being pregnant. 

 

Basically I want something that doesn't look like a baby bag, it could pass for a regular handbag, but functions like that greatest baby bag ever. I'm thinking I need something fairly medium-large sized because I am a Type A, be prepared always type person.

Well that's not asking for much.

 

Honestly, don't go with a large one at least not at first.  We did and I barely use it, I use it for babysitting and that's it.  Otherwise I use the smaller one provided to us by the hospital. I am Type A as well and there is still no humanly way for me to fill that thing up unless I want to take the entire house with me.

 

I am hoping it will come in handy later once she is eating solids, but as it stands right now it is way too much for a newborn's needs. I wish I had waited because now all I do is trip over the stupid thing.

 

 

[Virgil Showlion]

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14701 - 12/15/10 07:20 PM

 do have to wonder how some people (like Michelle Duggar) can go through 19 times.  That's alot of times of feeling like crap. 

She is a woman who REALLY loves being pregnant

I say it all the time, she's going to be walking through the grocery store one day and her uterus is just going to fall out right there on the floor of the store.  The human body can only take so much. 

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ElfQ1015
Message #14702 - 12/15/10 07:29 PM



I told my OB I was surprised that the last kid didn't just walk out.  He said that with as many kids as she's had that's pretty much what happens, the more kids you have the harder it is to keep them in.

 

I really hope she takes her last child as a sign to STOP for her sake. 

 

Sorry but if I was Jim Bob, after child and pregnancy #19 my wife would no longer be the one making the decisions, I'd be getting snipped whether she disagreed or not.

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GusitaRenker
Message #14703 - 12/15/10 07:29 PM

Hi ladies. I haven't had a chance to read today yet, but I just got back from appointment. The baby looks good, but the appointment just left me feeling, I don't know, kind of disappointed/let down. I had an ultrasound today, and the technician couldn't get a good measurement of his legs or butt, so it really didn't help much at all with trying to figure out how big he is. She couldn't get a profile shot of the face either, which really bums me out because I don't have one face shot of this baby. He was too small at the 1st ultrasound, and he wasn't positioned right to get a good face shot at my 20 week ultrasound.  I know, that's a stupid thing to be upset about. I know I'll get plenty once he comes. He is head down, but he's facing my stomach, which they said could make for a longer labor and back labor, but they said he could still flip so he is facing my back, so I am hoping he does.
 What really irked me today is that I saw a nurse practitioner instead of the doctor. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but she pretty much came in, swabbed me for the Group B test, did the internal, said "No baby this week" and left. She didn't ask if I had any questions or anything. I made sure to specifically request one of the doctors I really like for my appointment next week.
To top it off, I've gained 9 pounds since my appointment last week. 9 pounds up in a single week. I know it's from all the fluid I am retaining, but still, UGH.  The doctor had even said last week to expect something crazy like that with all the swelling I am having, but still, what an awful number that was to see on the scale. I knew my calves looked like elephant legs this week, but I wasn't expecting it to be that bad.

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eh230
Message #14704 - 12/15/10 07:51 PM

9 pounds up in a single week. I know it's from all the fluid I am retaining, but still, UGH.

I am so sorry.  The same thing happened to me.  I felt and looked awful with all that fluid.  The good part is that the water weights comes off pretty fast after you have the baby.  Is your blood pressure still good?  Hopefully next week with the doctor will be better.  I think that sometimes medical professionals forget how emotional of a time it is when you are pregnant. 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14705 - 12/15/10 07:52 PM



Gusita, Hugs.  Please try not to worry.  It gets so hard at the end when you're just ready to be done being pregnant and have your baby.  I'm sorry the NP wasn't helpful.  Hopefully next week your appointment will go better.  The weight gain is definitely water.  I'm sure I told you this before but almost my entire weight gain was baby and water.  It went away really fast after I had Avery.

I really hope she takes her last child as a sign to STOP for her sake.

I know that they are having so many children because of their religion, but I thought the same thing, maybe that was a sign that her body can't do it anymore.

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14706 - 12/15/10 07:52 PM

Drama/Regina - before you buy one of those hands-free things, someone on the pregnancy board (I think that's where it was) said they just used a sports bra & cut holes/slits in it to use.  Worth a try since its only $6 or so if you get a cheap one (since you are going to cut it up anyway!). 

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14707 - 12/15/10 07:54 PM

had an ultrasound today, and the technician couldn't get a good measurement of his legs or butt, so it really didn't help much at all with trying to figure out how big he is. She couldn't get a profile shot of the face either, which really bums me out because I don't have one face shot of this baby.

Aww... hugs to you.


It's not a silly thing to be upset about. I burst into tears when I found out the day I thought I was to have my ultrasound was the day I SCHEDULED my ultrasound.  It seems like such a little thing but I was so excited to have the ultrasound and had built it up so much that I was sorely let down when I found out it was not that day.

 

You're towards the end of your pregnancy.  While it can be an exciting time it's all very draining emotionally and phyiscally.   That sounds like a lousy day and in the grand scheme of things, no it isn't a big deal but it is a big deal to you RIGHT NOW.

 

Go home, take a bubble bath and relax.

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Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14708 - 12/15/10 07:55 PM

Gustita - sorry it was a disappointing appointment.  Hopefully next week is better!

Today has just been a rough one.  DH left for a business trip today at 4am.  He tried to be quiet, but he still woke me up.  After he left, I just sat & cried for like 30 minutes, and definitely didn't go back to sleep   He's only going to be gone a couple days - its not really that big of a deal.  Ughghg, I hate being like this.  I hardly ever cry (makes me so mad when I do!).  Oh well....now the countdown to Friday begins

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ElfQ1015
Message #14709 - 12/15/10 08:03 PM

 Ughghg, I hate being like this

It'll only get better and better sweetie.

 

I went from hardly ever crying to sobbing myself silly over television commericals.

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EconStudent07
Message #14710 - 12/15/10 08:04 PM

I am hopelessly behind on reading, but I just wanted to check in to say hi! Breastfeeding is going much better now, so we are doing great. When I was skimming posts, I saw that someone mentioned pumping in the beginning in order to increase supply. I don't want to increase my supply necessarily, but I was wondering if pumping once a day might be a good way to store up some extra bmilk. I don't want to cause oversupply issues though.

Congrats Jenna! I hope that your recovery process is not too difficult! Glad to hear that you and baby are doing well.

Gusita, sorry your appointment was frustrating. As far as him being facing the wrong way - I think that Maggie was facing the wrong way at the beginning of my labor. They did an ultrasound to make sure that they was still head down, and we could see her eye sockets, so I think that she was facing toward my stomach. I may have had a bit of back labor at the beginning - I'm not sure because it really just hurt all over! - but she was facing the right away by the time she came out.

Some time soon I'll hopefully be able to type up more of my birth story...I can now give you a follow up to the natural child birth discussion that we were having right before I had her since it's not just hypothetical any more.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14711 - 12/15/10 08:06 PM

Palmetto - check out BabySteals.com right now. I'm toying with the idea of ordering one of these bags because it's a baby carrier/bag in one. It looks really neat but at $60 I just don't know! It's called a Kemby Sidekick Bliss.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14712 - 12/15/10 08:07 PM

Econ, Thanks for checking in.  It sounds like things are going well for you.  Hopefully you're getting some rest too.  Please do fill us in on your birth story once you have the time and energy.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14713 - 12/15/10 08:19 PM

but I was wondering if pumping once a day might be a good way to store up some extra bmilk

It can be, but if you plan on doing it regularly your body is going to respond accordingly and you will start to engorge close to that time.  So make sure you pick a time that is good for you.

 

I keep my boobs on a tight schedule at work, if I miss it I will let down and have to change my clothes.  If I want to change times I have to go thru an uncomfortable period till my boobs get the hint that I don't want to pump at this time anymore.

 

I messed up my supply because I was doing what Former suggested because that's what everyone told me to do. I didn't have anyone to warn me that I was a "superproducer" because everyone around me had the opposite problem.  If I'd been able to talk to the LC I probably would have caught it before I royally screwed things up.

 

It's a positive feedback loop, the more your breasts are stimulated, the more you produce.  So feeding her and then pumping right after for 15-20 minutes told my boobs that I needed to produce MORE MORE MORE and I was already producing plenty.  But with no way to gauge it, I assumed I was just right.  I was producing up to 6 ounces per pump session and I had a baby who was only eating 1-2 ounces!!  I had 40 bags in the first three weeks!

It wasn't until I went thru what Muttley described with the foremilk/hindmilk issues and became severly engorged again that I realized I'd messed up.

 

Once a day should be fine.

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yogiii
Message #14714 - 12/15/10 08:20 PM

econ - I started doing an extra session when DS was 1 month old, he just turned 7 months and I'm still doing it but hope to stop soon.  It is a great way to build up a supply.  Don't be discouraged by how little you pump at first.  Before he was a month old, he was just eating way too often for me to even think about it.  He was a slow eater and took 1 hour to eat back then, plus he was eating every two hours .  That seems so long ago now ...

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14715 - 12/15/10 08:33 PM



Gusita - Ughh what is with nurse practitioners! They can be horrible. I'm sorry you had such a bad appt. I'm surprised this late in your pregnancy they even had you seeing a NP. I'm sure the extra weight is all just water. Like kgb my weight gain was mostly water and it came off fast after having Olivia. I'm sure you'll be the same at least with most of the weight. I hope your next appt goes better. Sorry about the u/s but you'll get to see your baby IRL very soon

 

Econ - glad to here BFing is going much better. Sounds like you had a natural child birth. You are so lucky!! You are one of those women with wonderful birthing stories that makes everyone jealous! I am so happy for you though.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14716 - 12/15/10 08:38 PM

econ - Once a day will probably work out. I pumped once a day, and it definately aggravated my oversupply even though most days DH fed DS one bottle a day, I was pumping enough for 2 bottles.  It is nice to have a freezer stash though.  The composition of breastmilk changes as your baby gets older, so if you can avoid it, you don't want to be giving a 6 month old, newborn milk.  You do just have to keep an eye on your body and how your body is responding because everyone is different.  I find general advice can be pretty useless, because woman have oversupply issues, undersupply issues and you need to do different things when it comes to pumping.  But in most cases, the best thing you can do is just nurse your baby and let your baby do the work.  Of course there are some cases where babies are lazy eaters or have a bad latch.  Like I said, it is tough to give general breastfeeding advice.... especially over the internet.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14717 - 12/15/10 08:45 PM

in most cases, the best thing you can do is just nurse your baby and let your baby do the work

I agree.  I get shooting boob pain during the week because the pump no matter how long I pump for just cannot drain me like Gwen can.  It goes away during the weekend and doesn't come with a fever or red lines so it is not mastisis and yes I've been to the doctor for it too.

 

I gave up on doing bottles when out because it is miserable for ME.  I get engorged, uncomfortable and get the shooting boob pain.  So I have to be constantly aware of it otherwise I turn into a human milk fountain like did once in the middle of Cabela's.

 

I still bring a bottle because there may be a time when I can't find a spot to feed her that isn't a bathroom but overall I've found it's just easier to breastfeed her while out.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14718 - 12/15/10 08:53 PM



"you don't want to be giving a 6 month old, newborn milk"

 

I had never thought about that before, but that is so true. A lot of woman build up this huge supply and then it's not even good for their baby because it's not the right kind of milk

 

"no matter how long I pump for just cannot drain me like Gwen can"

 

So true. A baby is just so much better at draining than any pump!

[Virgil Showlion]

regina24601
Message #14719 - 12/15/10 08:56 PM



Gusita - Sorry for the yucky feeling you got after your appointment.  I'm sure all of that weight gain was fluid, but I know how distressing it is to see that number right in front of you on the scale.  Plus your hormones are wild right now (at least mine are), so the littlest things can set you off.  Not fun at all.  Hopefully next week will go better!

Ughh what is with nurse practitioners! They can be horrible.

gardenergirl - Just have to do a quick defense of nurses and NPs:  I think we should substitute "nurse practitioners" with just "practitioners" in general.  In my lifetime, I've seen physicians and nurse practitioners, and I've had equally good and bad experiences with both.  NPs can be great, so I don't think it's fair to say that Gusita's bad experience was because the practitioner she saw was a NP.  Even if that person had gone to med school, she'd probably act the same way with MD after her name!   

There are good nurses and bad nurses.  There are good doctors and bad doctors.  There are good NPs and bad NPs.  I just hope Gusita gets a practitioner with a better bedside manner next week!

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #14720 - 12/15/10 08:57 PM

She didn't ask if I had any questions or anything.

Gusita, sorry you had such a frustrating appointment.  Next time, take a list of questions to the appointment and not be afraid to ask followup questions.  This is no time to be a mouse. 

 

About milk supply, I didn't do the hospital pump and pumping after BF-ing with DS1 and had a horrible supply.  I never came home with more than 5 oz, even though I pumped twice a day at work.  With DS2, I got the hospital grade pump, pumped after BF-ing the first 2 months and had a much better supply, though I still have to supplement.  No piece of advice you hear is going to apply to all people.  There are always outliers.   

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14721 - 12/15/10 09:03 PM

Palmetto, I used to have a Ju Ju Be BeTween, but I traded it in for a bigger bag because I was having a hard time getting my coupon organizers in there with all the baby stuff.  It fit the baby stuff just fine, not so much once I tried to put more than my wallet and phone in it .  Now I have a Skip Hop Studio in Pewter.  It's normally an $80 bag, but I was able to pick it up for $30 a couple months ago (at regular price, it would have been way out of our price range, with no income).  It is big, without being huge and it is a lot of pockets on the inside.  It has bottle/cup pockets on the outside that are insulated so stuff stays colder longer.  And a nifty feature I discovered this winter - see the top flap/pocket.  It has a little closure there in the middle so you can unsnap it and stick a small blanket underneath, without having it take up space in the bag itself. 
[www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Studio-Diaper-Pewter/dp/B002UXR530/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1292446385&sr=8-1]
Anyways, I'm a diaper bag freak.  Besides those, we have a Fleurville DJ (DH's man bag) and a Fleurville Lexie for dressier occasions.  Both also purchased from bargain sites.  Mama Bargains used to have Fleurville bags on all the time but I haven't seen any in a long time.  Someone else mentioned Baby Steals - look out for some of their OiOi bags.  They also look more like purses.  OK, I'm done now .

Jenna, congrats on Baby E!

Azure, I'm so sorry for your friend .  I can't even imagine.

Mutt, can I say I'm so jealous of your Murano?!  I wanted one desperately but they were out of our budget when we were last car shopping.  Glad you're enjoying it though!  And it's good to see you back!

Drama - on the sippies, we tried giving Averie one at 6 months.  She mostly just played with it, she didn't really know how to get anything out.  We weaned to sippy cups right before her first birthday and she doesn't get any bottles anymore.  It was a fight, I'll tell you that.  She didn't drink anything for 36 straight hours.  Just as I was about to give in because I was getting worried about dehydration, she gave in and used her sippy, and we haven't looked back since. 

Pacifiers - We're starting to think about ditching this.  Her pedi actually likes to see it gone the same time as bottles (12 months), but Averie still doesn't really talk (mama, dada and that's about it on a regular basis) and I don't want to take away what she uses for comfort when she can't yet tell us what's wrong.  And she only gets it at nap and bedtime and when she's hurt, so I don't think it's a big concern yet.  I think we're going to start working on it at 18 months.[www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Studio-Diaper-Pewter/dp/B002UXR530/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1292446385&sr=8-1]

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ElfQ1015
Message #14722 - 12/15/10 09:04 PM

 A lot of woman build up this huge supply and then it's not even good for their baby because it's not the right kind of milk

I used all mine up.  The LC was floored when she asked me how many bags I had and I quietly answered "40".  I had to stop pumping ASAP to get my suppoy back under control so we ended up using pretty much all 40 bags between babysitting and daycare.

 

I have a little stockpile now that are bags she does not eat while at daycare, I rotate them to the freezer the next day.  It's littler than I like but it beats what happened before.  I am careful now to pump pretty much just what I need for daycare and then she takes care of the rest.

 

I just finally got my supply under control so there is no way I want to risk it again. I do need to figure out when to add one more pumping session.  It isn't working out to do three a day at work and she's getting close to eating 6 oz at a time. I want to make sure I produce enough to send to daycare. 

 

I think I am going to try pumping before I go to bed tonight.  I tried doing it at 4 pm when I got home but then she'd want to eat right as I was finished and of course then we spend 10 minutes just getting to let down again and boy is she pissed!

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14723 - 12/15/10 09:12 PM

Pacifiers - We're starting to think about ditching this.  Her pedi actually likes to see it gone the same time as bottles (12 months), but Averie still doesn't really talk

Avery is still using her nuk for naps and nighttime only.  I wanted them gone by now but the pediatrician said not to worry yet.  She knows it's only for sleep time.  When I got in to get her in the morning or from a nap I say, "What do you give to mommy?"  and she pops out her nuk and hands it to me.  She's not talking much yet either.  She can still calls DH "Ga" which I think she does on purpose because she can make a "D" sound.  She can say car and more enough now that you can understand what she's saying.  The "R" isn't clear, but my mother (who is a speech therapist) said it's way too early for her to make a true "R" sound.  If you say words to her, she'll make the sounds she can.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14724 - 12/15/10 09:14 PM

Gwen has never taken a pacifier.  She's the only baby I've ever met that doesn't take one.  She likes her thumb but from what I have read I am not concerned about it.  The only time it says we need to be concerned is if she is still sucking it by the time her permenant teeth start to come in.  Most kids have completely weaned themselves on thier own by 5 or 6 LONG before the permenant teeth come in.  Any "damage" done to baby teeth is reversed as soon as they stop sucking.

[Virgil Showlion]

gardenergirl0804
Message #14725 - 12/15/10 09:26 PM



regina -  I didn't mean to offend anyone. I should not have made such a nasty and hasty generalization about NP. Just have not had good experiences with them, especially lately. But I am sorry.

 

pacis - it was a long time before Olivia would even take a paci and now I almost wish she hadn't because I don't know how we will ever get it away from her. She uses it so much especially when she is teething, for comfort. She would always use me as her paci during BFing sessions so I kept trying to get her to use the paci. She started sucking her thumb but so many people would tell me how hard of a habit that is to break. When I met DH his youngest brother, who was 12 at the time, was still sucking his thumb

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ElfQ1015
Message #14726 - 12/15/10 09:30 PM



I figure we'll cross the thumb sucking bridge when we come to it.  The only person concerned about it right now is my MIL.   She's learning how to self sooth and put herself to sleep so I don't mind her sucking her thumb if that is what it takes to get her to go down without a fight.  It usually falls out once she is asleep and she does just fine.


It is hysterical when her thumb falls out of her mouth but she keeps right on sucking in her sleep.  So cute.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14727 - 12/15/10 09:37 PM

 I never came home with more than 5 oz, even though I pumped twice a day at work.  With DS2, I got the hospital grade pump, pumped after BF-ing the first 2 months and had a much better supply, though I still have to supplement.  No piece of advice you hear is going to apply to all people.

Then you should to qualify you advice. The advice you gave could give woman mastitis if she has oversupply along with other issues.  I always say this worked for me, but I had an oversupply.  Like I told Econ it is hard to give general good general breastfeeding advice because you don't if you are going to have some with oversupply, undersupply, just right supply, a bad latch baby, a lazy eating baby. There are so many factors out there.  Also, if you have major under supply issues with a first child, they tend to be better with a second a child, but still present.

Meg - Yes you can be jealous!  It is an awesome vehicle.  We got a great deal on it too, plus had a trade in.  We did get a loan for the difference but could pay it off right now if we wanted to.

No pacis here. But DS is a thumbsucker and that is just fine with me.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14728 - 12/15/10 09:42 PM

About milk supply, I didn't do the hospital pump and pumping after BF-ing with DS1 and had a horrible supply.  I never came home with more than 5 oz, even though I pumped twice a day at work

My LC said that that your problem is quite common, most women barely pump enough for daycare the next day.  I am one of the "lucky" ones that had the OPPOSITE problem.

 

I made the mistake of listening to "good advice" from friends and family instead of doing what the books said and waiting 6 weeks till my supply fully came in.

 

It backfired royally in my face.  I ended up with an out of control supply. 

 

There was no way for me to know I was a 'superproducer' and I have never encountered another one except here on this board.

 

I also made the mistake of listening to the nurses and ended up with REALLY nasty torn up nipples. 

 

20/20 hindsight I should have called the LC that following Monday but I didn't.  Now I know better.  LCs deal exclusively with boobs and breastfeeding, talk to them.

 

Not saying there aren't crappy LCs out there, but if you can find a good one they are worth their weight in gold.


Then I got super lucky and have a pediatrician that is very up to date on breastfeeding and was able to guide me thru it.

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #14729 - 12/15/10 10:05 PM



Actually the 15 min pumping after BF-ing was the general advice given by the hospital LC's when I had DS1, before anybody knew about my supply issues.  Hopefully, they were saying that because they think it works for most people.  But if I was serious about BF-ing, I'd rather risk being an oversupplier than an undersupplier.  An oversupplier can always pump and .  I suspect it is a lot more common for a woman to have a low milk supply, especially with a first child, than be an oversupplier. 

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ladyki
Message #14730 - 12/15/10 10:23 PM



Stina72- Welcome to the board.

 

Meg- Kiani has been screaming like crazy, I think she just likes to hear her voice, lol. She opens her mouth wide and then just starts screaming for no apperent reason. I think it is so cute, let see how long it is before she drives me crazy, lol.

 

Kriskringle- Congrats on the new job. How exciting. I would love to do something like that, I am actually majoring in Business Communications.

 

Soon to be Mom- Congrats and welcome back.

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #14731 - 12/15/10 10:30 PM

Gwen is a little flipping machine!  I brought her home early and decided to do tummy time, she kept trying to flipping over onto her back.  As soon as she got on her back she was attempting to roll over onto her stomach. 

lol, Kiani rolls over to her stomach pretty fast but has a harder time flipping back to her stomach. She starts screaming and I go and flip her around and five seconds later she will be back on her stomach.

---

ladyki
Message #14732 - 12/15/10 10:55 PM



Jenna- Congrats on Baby E.

 

Azure- So sad to hear about your friend. My heart goes out to her.  

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14733 - 12/16/10 12:03 AM

I am a Coach handbag person (I've got like 6) so that's a natural to me since I love their handbags. Basically I want something that doesn't look like a baby bag, it could pass for a regular handbag, but functions like that greatest baby bag ever. I'm thinking I need something fairly medium-large sized because I am a Type A, be prepared always type person.

Palmetto - I am a Coach girl to the core. I love their leather bags. My boss got me the crimson patent leather one for my shower. I haven't used it yet, let alone with the baby's stuff, but I love the bag. It seems like I could fit a ton into it.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14734 - 12/16/10 12:35 AM



The Duggars - I think they're both crazy for having so many kids. I agree that I hope this last experience helps them realize that having so many kids is dangerous for baby and mom. Drama, I disagree with you - they are both responsible for this mess, not just mom. It takes two to tango.

 

Gusita - I am sorry the visit was rough. I bet the office was really busy, and the NP didn't have enough thought to ask if you had questions or concerns. If I was you, I'd call the doctors office tomorrow and tell them you were frustrated. Feedback is always good.

 

Econ - Can't wait to hear more about Maggie's birth, and glad to hear BFing is working better.

 

I have been having mild contractions all day. The meds helped, but I had to take more than usual. I usually take one in the morning, and one in the evening, but can take it up to 4x a day. I took one this morning, and another at lunch. I will be taking another when I get home from the office. I feel like my body is betraying me! I haven't gained hardly any weight so far - I am at about 3 pounds, which fluctuates daily by about a pound down. Looking at my tummy, it looks like I have gained at least 12 pounds. My family keeps saying I look as though I've lost weight, especially in my face. I hope DS takes it all out with him when he arrives - then he'll be my favorite son - haha, he's my only son!

 

Has anyone heard from Eternal? She's been quiet.

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14735 - 12/16/10 01:07 AM

Public Service Announcement About Cribs!

The CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) has voted unanimously to ban drop-side cribs.  You can read the article here: [money.cnn.com/2010/12/15/news/companies/US_dropside_cribs_ban/index.htm?hpt=T2] money.cnn.com/2010/12/15/news/companies/US_dropside_cribs 

Our crib is a fixed-side so we're not affected by the ban but I wanted to post in case others on here have one.  I'd heard a lot of rumors about a ban after the last drop-side crib recall, but now it's official.

---

yogiii
Message #14736 - 12/16/10 01:37 AM

you don't want to be giving a 6 month old, newborn milk

Just to be clear, even though I have a ton of milk, I rotate a lot.  They say you can store 3-4 months but I only do two months.

drama - DS won't take a pacifier either and rarely sucks his thumb now, although I know some kids start the thumb sucking later too

[Virgil Showlion]

eh230
Message #14737 - 12/16/10 01:50 AM



Pacifiers - Henry absolutely refused to take one.  Then when he got his first tooth, he decided that he like them.  Go figure.  I think he chews on it more than he sucks on it.

 

Exciting news!!  I am pretty sure that Henry said "mama" to me tonight.  I just knew he was going to say "da da" first, but he didn't!  It sounds stupid, but it makes me feel a little bit better about working - I didn't miss a big moment, and me being at work does not mean that I am not important enough for him to talk for me first!

---

azure sky
Message #14738 - 12/16/10 02:42 AM

Econ -- I did not pump until my LO was 6 weeks, and I would say that my supply was just fine: not too much, not too little. LO gained a pound a week until he was 2 months old, so he obviously got what he needed, but I didn't leak or have oversupply.  Sure, I still have pumping issues sometimes, especially when I am stressed/tired/or when I lost too much weight at once. I did struggle at first with bleeding n.ipples and pain, but that resolved within a few weeks.

I'd love to hear the birth story sometime. It makes me happy to hear about women having easy natural childbirths. It give me hope for a VBAC!

Thanks, everyone, for the good wishes for my friend. I did not write what happened because I did not want to needlessly worry the pg ladies on the board by giving them a new something to feel anxious over. It was one of those tragic, unavoidable circumstances, and they were the unlucky one in 100,000. It is just heartbreaking to think of them leaving the hospital without their baby, returning to a home set up for the LO. They did get to spend some time with their daughter, and get pictures and foot casts. It does make me think long and hard about my own blessings.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14739 - 12/16/10 02:54 AM



I've noticed sometimes my supply takes a dip with no apparent reason. I keep wondering if it is due to my hormones trying to reregulate themselves.  It's never enough that it hurts my supply, but it is noticebale when I pump because I can see how much is in there.

 

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14740 - 12/16/10 03:27 AM



 

Actually the 15 min pumping after BF-ing was the general advice given by the hospital LC's when I had DS1, before anybody knew about my supply issues.  Hopefully, they were saying that because they think it works for most people.  But if I was serious about BF-ing, I'd rather risk being an oversupplier than an undersupplier.  An oversupplier can always pump and .  I suspect it is a lot more common for a woman to have a low milk supply, especially with a first child, than be an oversupplier. 

I don't know about your Hospital LC, but mine was worthless and actually caused DS to have a bad latch.  Oversupply isn't fixed by pumping and dumping. In fact that exacerbates the problem and yes it is a problem. It can lead to problems for mother (mastitis, clogged ducts, engoragement) and baby (low weight gain, gassiness, and even an unwillingness to eat because of overactive letdown).  If you want to give good advice, say feed on demand. Make sure you are feeding at least 8 times a day.  Make sure a lazy eater stays awake at the breast. Etc.  I do think undersupply is more common and I really feel for woman who have to figure out what to do all the time.  I had a stretch in October where my supply took a hit because of a cold. I felt very fortunate that it came back quickly.  I know conditions such as PCOS can have a major impact on supply and I conditions like that are on the rise. However, oversupply is also a problem. When it is dismissed or said oh you are lucky you have an oversupply, it just shows an ignorance to a problem.  I had a clogged duct in my right breast every single morning for 6 months (and that is with DS eating several times overnight!!) that I had to pump to get out because DS couldn't eat enough to unclog it.  I am very very fortunate that I did not get mastitis from it.

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14741 - 12/16/10 03:31 AM

Just to be clear, even though I have a ton of milk, I rotate a lot.  They say you can store 3-4 months but I only do two months.

You can store it up to 6mo to a year in a deep freeze. But if the composition of the milk is for a newborn and you are giving it to an active 6 months old, it is going to missing you some the denser concentration of nutrients. Or you may find out after that fact that you have lipses or food allergies.

Anyway, I hope I'm not scaring people. It really isn't as complicated as I think I'm making it sound, but you just have to figure out what works for you and your baby. One article I read called breastfeeding a dance.  The mom takes the lead, but it is a cooperation, not a dictatorship and I think that is the best way to describe it.

---

GusitaRenkr
Message #14742 - 12/16/10 06:02 AM

Ladies, thank you all for your sweet comments.  After I posted early, I came home and took a nice 4 hour nap. I feel so much better now. Still a little bummed, but not ready to cry a river.

I am so sorry.  The same thing happened to me.  I felt and looked awful with all that fluid.  The good part is that the water weights comes off pretty fast after you have the baby.  Is your blood pressure still good?  Hopefully next week with the doctor will be better.  I think that sometimes medical professionals forget how emotional of a time it is when you are pregnant.

Thanks Eh. My blood pressure was actually the best it has been in a few months, 110/60 on the first take. Normally it's like 130/85 or so at first, then they have me lay on my left side for a little bit and take it again and it will come down to within the normal range. That's so awesome that Henry said Mama! My first word was 'duck', so I kind of dissed both my parents, LOL.

Gusita, Hugs.  Please try not to worry.  It gets so hard at the end when you're just ready to be done being pregnant and have your baby.  I'm sorry the NP wasn't helpful.  Hopefully next week your appointment will go better.  The weight gain is definitely water.  I'm sure I told you this before but almost my entire weight gain was baby and water.  It went away really fast after I had Avery.

Thanks kgb. It's like logically, in my head, I know the only way to put on 9 pounds in a week is if a lot of it's fluid, but the emotional/hormonal side of me just wants to scream.

You're towards the end of your pregnancy.  While it can be an exciting time it's all very draining emotionally and phyiscally.   That sounds like a lousy day and in the grand scheme of things, no it isn't a big deal but it is a big deal to you RIGHT NOW.

Thank you Drama. I think I am getting more weepy than raging lately, like I had been. I admit, I sat in the parking lot and just sobbed for a good 5 minutes when I was done at the doctors.
And my DH, bless his heart, he knew how upset I was that I didn't get a facial picture, so when he got home, he made a big deal of how awesome the ultrasound picture I got today was, that is was cool that we had one of the top of Brett's head with his arm curled up by it. I just do not have the heart to tell him that the ultrasound is actually of the baby's chest and heart.

Gustita - sorry it was a disappointing appointment.  Hopefully next week is better!

Today has just been a rough one.  DH left for a business trip today at 4am.  He tried to be quiet, but he still woke me up.  After he left, I just sat & cried for like 30 minutes, and definitely didn't go back to sleep   He's only going to be gone a couple days - its not really that big of a deal.  Ughghg, I hate being like this

Thanks Sam! Boo, I'm sorry your DH had to leave. That really ****.  Here's hoping these days he is gone fly by for you!

Econ-I'm glad breastfeeding is going better, and I can't wait to hear your birth story! Definitely tell us about it when you get a chance. It sounds like things went very well!

Gusita - Ughh what is with nurse practitioners! They can be horrible. I'm sorry you had such a bad appt. I'm surprised this late in your pregnancy they even had you seeing a NP. I'm sure the extra weight is all just water. Like kgb my weight gain was mostly water and it came off fast after having Olivia. I'm sure you'll be the same at least with most of the weight. I hope your next appt goes better. Sorry about the u/s but you'll get to see your baby IRL very soon

Thanks Gardenergirl! That last line certainly does put a smile on my face. I'm not sure if it's just my doctor's office or what it is, but it seems like every appointment I have had with a nurse practitioner there is kind of lacking. It's like they either don't give me a chance to ask questions (like today), or they do give me a chance to ask, and then don't give me any answers. One appointment, I asked about the Paraguard IUD, and instead of telling me about it, advantages, disadvantages, she handed me a broch

[Virgil Showlion]

GusitaRenkr
Message #14743 - 12/16/10 06:03 AM

Gusita - Ughh what is with nurse practitioners! They can be horrible. I'm sorry you had such a bad appt. I'm surprised this late in your pregnancy they even had you seeing a NP. I'm sure the extra weight is all just water. Like kgb my weight gain was mostly water and it came off fast after having Olivia. I'm sure you'll be the same at least with most of the weight. I hope your next appt goes better. Sorry about the u/s but you'll get to see your baby IRL very soon

Thanks Gardenergirl! That last line certainly does put a smile on my face. I'm not sure if it's just my doctor's office or what it is, but it seems like every appointment I have had with a nurse practitioner there is kind of lacking. It's like they either don't give me a chance to ask questions (like today), or they do give me a chance to ask, and then don't give me any answers. One appointment, I asked about the Paraguard IUD, and instead of telling me about it, advantages, disadvantages, she handed me a brochure and that was that. Another appointment, I had a few questions about what was normal/wasn't normal with regards to cramping and baby movement, and she didn't really answer me at all as to what should be of a concern and what was normal. She just told me to call if I was ever worried. I don't know, it's like all three of the nurse practitioners at my doctor's office just don't answer questions at all (that's why I really don't like seeing them). I wonder if that's just how they are there, or if they're discouraged from answering questions. I haven't had any issue with getting the doctors to answer questions. It's really kind of strange. The nurse practitioner at my old doctor's office was more helpful and knowledgeable than the doctors there. It's a shame they moved their office; they were all great.

Plus your hormones are wild right now (at least mine are), so the littlest things can set you off.  Not fun at all.  Hopefully next week will go better!

Thanks Regina! Mine are all over the place. I am so weepy. At least I'm not destroying things with my GPS. Next week HAS to go better. Plus, I get to see one of my two favorite doctors there, which makes me happy. I really hope she or the other doctor I like are on call when I go into labor.

Gusita - I am sorry the visit was rough. I bet the office was really busy, and the NP didn't have enough thought to ask if you had questions or concerns. If I was you, I'd call the doctors office tomorrow and tell them you were frustrated. Feedback is always good.

Thanks insurance! You're right; they can't improve if people don't tell them what they are unhappy with. I hope your contractions stop. Do the doctors know why they keep starting up?

Gusita, sorry you had such a frustrating appointment.  Next time, take a list of questions to the appointment and not be afraid to ask followup questions.  This is no time to be a mouse. 

Thanks formerroommate! You are exactly right; of all the times to speak up, it's definitely now! DH told me to chance after them if I ever have that issue again.

Diaper bags-I have two already I just love bags/purses/totes, any kind of bag really. One is teal and brown and matches my infant car seat/stroller. It's good sized, but not enormous. I have another one that is bright blue and green that I intend to use in the spring/summer. It's about the same size. And DH's diaper bag is black with baseball stuff on it. I have a weakness for Vera Bradley things, so I have a sneaking suspicion that a Vera Bradley diaper bag will be making its way into the rotation as well.

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yogiii
Message #14744 - 12/16/10 12:26 PM

One article I read called breastfeeding a dance.  The mom takes the lead, but it is a cooperation, not a dictatorship and I think that is the best way to describe it.

I will admit, bfing was a big challenge for me in the beginning.  Slow, lazy eater, borderline supply, good latch but stubborn and colicky etc.  I once mentioned to a few friends how tiring it was bfing every two hours and they just kind of looked at me blankly.  I said you know it isn't always as simple as just sticking the kids face in that general area and there he goes.  Of course after a few months it was but the first month or so, it was a challenge

 

eh - YAY Henry!  That is so great

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14745 - 12/16/10 01:21 PM

This makes me feel guilty to say, but I don't know that I will even attempt to breastfeed our next baby.  Even though it didn't work with Avery, I thought I would try again the next time around, but the more I hear moms (here and moms I know IRL) talk about all the issues, the exhaustion, the logistics of pumping, etc., it makes me not want to do it.  If Avery hadn't been an amazingly healthy baby being formula fed, I might be more motivated.  I just don't know that I'm up for it.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14747 - 12/16/10 02:28 PM

 However, oversupply is also a problem. When it is dismissed or said oh you are lucky you have an oversupply, it just shows an ignorance to a problem

DQ  Muttely

 

---

regina24601
Message #14748 - 12/16/10 02:32 PM

This makes me feel guilty to say, but I don't know that I will even attempt to breastfeed our next baby. 

kgb - You shouldn't feel guilty about that.  Honestly, moms are darned if they do and darned if they don't.  If they insist on breastfeeding, there are some people who lock them in the "crunchy, granola-type mom" category.  And if they can't or simply don't want to breastfeed, then many others will consider them to be bad moms or moms who aren't 100% committed to their child's health.  We're never going to please everybody.  FF worked for you little one, so it makes sense that you would want to continue doing that for your next one.  Besides, formula is so high quality these days, there's no reason to put pressure on yourself or feel like you're neglecting your child.  I say pish posh to the world.

Okay, I made a deal with LMSK months ago that she needed to stay put until after the fall semester was over.  I took my last final last night, so I am officially okay with her coming at any point now!!  She's a good girl - listening to her momma already.  Of course, just to be a little punk, she'll probably dig in her heels and stay in there until next Easter or something. 

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14749 - 12/16/10 02:40 PM

This makes me feel guilty to say, but I don't know that I will even attempt to breastfeed our next baby

Don't be, if we have another one I am debating if I want to breastfeed again. I don't enjoy it (there I said it!) I am doing it because she is thriving and we know it works, I have no interest in trying to switch to formula at this stage.

 

It's been a challenge despite being "lucky" enough to be an oversupplier.  If it weren't for DH being so supportive I would have quit breastfeeding a long time ago.  It's taken me almost 6 months to finally have a regulated supply and feel natural doing it. 

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14750 - 12/16/10 03:22 PM

This makes me feel guilty to say, but I don't know that I will even attempt to breastfeed our next baby.  Even though it didn't work with Avery, I thought I would try again the next time around, but the more I hear moms (here and moms I know IRL) talk about all the issues, the exhaustion, the logistics of pumping, etc., it makes me not want to do it.

Don't feel bad. I do really enjoy breastfeeding and I have been lucky.  I love the convience of breastfeeding. I love not having to worry about having a bottle while out with DS. We took a week long road trip and I didn't have to worry about washing any bottles.  I love the cuddle time.  BUt it isn't for everyone.  I don't think anyone should feel guilty if they choose not to. 

DQ - Can you tell I'm just a bit passionate about it.   I spend a lot of time on BBC breastfeeding boards and whenever someone comes on with an oversupply problem, the gals with undersupply always say oh you are so lucky. But the experts always come on and say No, it is not good. It is a problem. 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14751 - 12/16/10 03:31 PM

Can you tell I'm just a bit passionate about it.

NO, really? 

 

I've felt so isolated sometimes because if I bring up my problems they are dismissed as not being real "problems" compared to other women. Then it was very hard to find anything related to what I was expericing, whoever posted that La Leche link (I think it was regina?) really helped save my sanity.


You can't win even if you breastfeed!  Why can't women just be supportive of each other instead of dimissive and competitve?

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14752 - 12/16/10 03:53 PM

This makes me feel guilty to say, but I don't know that I will even attempt to breastfeed our next baby

There is nothing to feel guilty about.  Formulas today are way better than they ever have been and milk formula is one of the tightest controlled products on the market.  But I must add that it is very common for a woman to have supply issues with a first child and then have everything be fine for a second child. 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14753 - 12/16/10 04:14 PM

Thanks for being so understanding everyone.  I know breast milk is best.  Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind by the time we decide to have #2, but right now it's just not looking like it's for me.  I do feel fortunate that Avery has been so healthy.  She's over 14-months-old and we've never been to the doctor for anything but well visits (knock on wood).  She's had a couple of little teething-related colds and that's it.  When breastfeeding didn't work, I did have concerns that I was going to have a sickly baby because she was formula fed and it would be all my fault. Regina, you're right that we're all sort of damned if we do and damned if we don't.

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yogiii
Message #14754 - 12/16/10 04:24 PM



kgb - I agree, you shouldn't feel guilty.  All that matters is that Avery is healthy no matter how you do it. 

 

It is true we get judged no matter what.  DS still doesn't STTN and I get lots of raised eyebrows about that.  Do you think I like waking up at 3 am to feed him?  Absolutely not but he's hungry, he's skinny and although I think he'll be ready to STTN soon he isn't now.  People just assume I don't want to do CIO, I'm willing to bet poor DS has cried way more than average in his short life (colic and sleep training starting at 3.5 months) 

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14755 - 12/16/10 04:35 PM

When breastfeeding didn't work, I did have concerns that I was going to have a sickly baby because she was formula fed and it would be all my fault

Heh, this reminds of when that study came out claiming breastfed babies are "smarter".  My grandmother goes "I formula fed your mother and she is smart as a whip.  Her cousin Annette was breastfed and is dumb as a post.  So much for that debate".

 

I did some digging and A LOT of those "studies" are heavily biased, the media misrepresented the data or people are extrapolating causes where there are none, it's just a correlation.


Breastmilk is credited with doing a lot of things that it has not really been proven to be able to do (like make kids smarter, less sick blah blah).

 

I decided to do it because both DH and I had issues with formula and had to go on expensive hypoallergenic brands.  I figured since both of us (and his brother and my brother) all had problems that it was pretty good odds Gwen would too.  So I decided to skip all that and breastfeed instead.

 

We all thrived just fine as evidenced by the fact that we all made it to adulthood, but it sure was a PITA according to my MIL and my mom to find formulas that worked for us.

---

anne81
Message #14756 - 12/16/10 04:36 PM

eh - yay!  It's awesome the first time you hear mama.  Poor DH - DS said Mama, daga (dog!) and dada, in that order.  DH was not pleased to be behind the family pet.

kgb - you shouldn't feel bad.  BF'ing doesn't work for everyone.

gusita - in the last month of my pregnancy I amused myself by getting on the scale in the morning and then in the evening.  I'd gain and lose 5 lbs in a day.  As long as it's not that pre-e thingy it's probably pretty normal!

DQ & Mutt - oversupply is not fun.  Blocked ducts, gassy babies, and wet t-shirts.

yogiii - how old is your DS?  (My memory is terrible!)  DS didn't sleep well until he was a year old and started taking naps then too.  I still have the sleep plan and charts that the sleep coach we hired gave us if you ever want them.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14757 - 12/16/10 04:47 PM

Yogiii - DS still doesn't sleep through the night (10 hrs) most nights, but he turned a major corner around 9 months old.  He started doing it a couple times a week.  It was an absolutely amazing breakthrough that DS did all on his own.  Sleepwise 7 to 9 months were the hardest on me. I eventually decided I wasn't going to worry about it or stress about it until DS was a year old and suddenly he started sleeping through the night. He actually just did 3 nights in a row of going from 7:30p to at least 5:30 a.  Wednesday morning he even went back to sleep for an hour and a half.  

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poohbiscit
Message #14758 - 12/16/10 05:05 PM

DS said Mama, daga (dog!) and dada, in that order.  DH was not pleased to be behind the family pet

Anne - I know how your DH must have felt. DS said Dada, dog, and then mama.

 

I am now wishing he never learned to say mama as that is all he says now. He actually plays a game where he will call mama a couple of times and when I respond he will say dada. I can't believe how much he has learned in his short life.

 

I love that he knows when he does something wrong and that he points it out. We put up our tree a couple of weeks ago and while I was cleaning up the kitchen table I hear a little Uh-Oh. I look over at him and he had broken a piece off of one of my old ornaments. Not a big deal since all I had to do was glue the train piece back on. Then I put it back on the tree this past weekend and while on DH's watch he comes into the kitchen were I am doing the dishes and goes Choo-Choo, at which point I turn to him and he is handing me the little train. I told him no and he goes running to his chair and cries for a minute. Guess I should have used stronger glue.

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azure sky
Message #14759 - 12/16/10 05:14 PM

yogiii -- I hate it when people judge like that. We did sleep training, and DS still gets one MOTN feed. He's hungry! I'd rather not wake up, either, but I'm not going to let him lay there crying because he's hungry, just so I can get more sleep.

kgb -- I'll just add on to what everyone else said and admonish you not to feel guilty. I do worry sometimes that I am bad pr for bf'ing. Overall it has been a wonderful experience--that is why I am sticking with it, despite my diet limitations. I think you are a wonderful momma, but I'd feel bad if I knew that I discouraged you from bf'ing. I feel self conscious talking about the good parts of nursing unless I am with a group of women I know are all bf'ers. I know so many women who struggled, and I somehow end up feeling like I'm rubbing it in that they had a hard time.

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azure sky
Message #14760 - 12/16/10 05:16 PM

eh -- that is awesome!!!!!  I study language development, so I think I'll be more excited for first words than I'll be for walking.

....speaking of, is your LO crawling yet, yogii? Mine is trying, but I don't see it happening anytime terribly soon.

[Virgil Showlion]

PalmettoLady
Message #14761 - 12/16/10 05:20 PM

Well that's not asking for much.

LOL. Well if any group of women know something that would be that great--- it's this one!

 

Gardener: Oh yes BabySteals! I watch it daily.  But I don't think I'd like one with the carrier function too.

 

Meg: Wow! Thanks for all the info! I am definitely going to check on those bags. I really hadn't considered getting DH a "Man Bag", but maybe we should... Hrm... 

 

Insurance: Ah. Thats what I really LOVE. It might sound crazy but ever January my mom, grandma and aunt and I go to Atlanta to go shopping. And my mom always buys me a Coach bag when we go to the mall there (how wonderful is she? so this year I could certainly choose a diaper bag instead of a handbag. I definitely want to see them in person, but, I know I will love it!

 

BF-ing: I have decided (Dh agrees) that it is not going to be for me. I am too selfish. That sounds HORRIBLE, but I don't care, happy mommy=happy baby. I just don't think I could deal with the extra time constraints and pressure of needing to be the sole provider to baby for nourishment. I NEED DH to be able to equally or more so feed baby, obviously I could pump and he could feed him then, but that still puts all the pressure on me. I'm also in a unique work situation and plan to come back at least part time (bringing baby) after about 3 weeks or so. (We have a family business). I know a lot of people lump a person into the two categories: crazy breast feeder or practically negligent formula feeding mother. It bugs me women do that, I'd prefer to take a "Whatever works for YOU" standpoint.

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eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14762 - 12/16/10 05:27 PM

I haven't gained hardly any weight so far - I am at about 3 pounds, which fluctuates daily by about a pound down. Looking at my tummy, it looks like I have gained at least 12 pounds. My family keeps saying I look as though I've lost weight, especially in my face. I hope DS takes it all out with him when he arrives - then he'll be my favorite son - haha, he's my only son!

I am the same insurance. I lost 17 lbs in the first tri...at my last appt I was back up 4 of those lbs. According to my bathroom scale (I weigh at the same time daily) I'm down 1 or 2 of those lbs. I also fluctuate 1 lb up and down daily. I look pregnant, but everyone says that I've lost weight in the face and you can tell from behind. With the hormone issue I had, my doc said that pregnancy is often the best "cure" because the placenta takes over the hormone production that my body was doing wrong and that my body will now be "trained" to a higher level of estrogen so I won't be so high on testosterone. My doc said it is common for women with my problem to see the weight fall off during and after pregnancy. I hope it continues!! I'm down approx 50 from my highest point.

 

 

I'm around and have been reading. Work is really really stressing me right now. We are in our busiest time of the year, and our contract litteraly went up by 20x more members. So, compared to 6 months ago I do at LEAST 10x as much as I did before. it is a circus. There were only 3 of us 4 months ago and things worked well, suddenly we got 10x the membership and only 4 temps who aren't (still!) trained up on what we do. I'm so completely overwhelmed just trying to keep my head above water. Add that to pregnancy, training people, another 10x addition to the membership, and our annual busy time and I'm a wreck.....NOW my boss is wanting me to produce a set of desk instructions so someone can just walk in the door and into my job. I'm working with someone who is watching me work and writing down instructions and every tiny little thing I do turns into 3 - 5 pages of notes detailing "if this situation...then that....if that...then this". I've cried at work for 2 days...cried in the bathroom, cried at home...cried so much I just went to sleep at 8pm last night. I'm NOT a good trainer. I just can't help but feel betrayed that I was thrust into the job and every little change and addition has been sprung on me with no how-to and suddenly I'm supposed to be able to pull a manual for my job out of my butt. I can't just say "use your brain like I did!!!' I have to have a detailed 1, 2, 3 for EVERYTHING that I do. there are literally thousands of possible scenarios....and what I do is governed by a 300+ page government manual of rules to apply. I cannot rewrite that or make people just somehow walk in the door understanding that and applying it within our system.

 

Talking with my boss has not helped. She just keeps saying that it has to be done so that I can go on maternity leave......I just feel SO overwhelmed.

 

Part of me just wants to walk away and never look back!! that is how absolutely insane this feels.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14763 - 12/16/10 05:43 PM

Palmetto - I went back to work part time when DS was 3 weeks old. It's tough but doable.  I had plans on doing some work from home, but I actually had to get out of the house to get any work done.  DS did come to work with me off and on when he was between 3 and 4 months old while DH had some doctor's visits, but by the time he was 5 months old he was way too mobile to bring to my office. What kind of set up are you going to have for your baby?

---

sbcaligirl
Message #14764 - 12/16/10 05:44 PM

Eternal: I so feel your pain!  I had a very similar situation at my last job, though not quite as extreme.  I was brought in when they were two people short and then because I was so "good" at my job, my boss took 18 months to find the 2nd person.  Then, because she knew how unhappy I was and that I was trying to transfer to another department, she wanted to be sure I made a training manual before I left.  On top of doing two positions and helping out with the reception duties, I had zero time to write an instruction manual for a job I had to figure out entirely on my own.  I didn't have the time constraints you did with an upcoming maternity leave so I took my sweet time and did it whenever I could.  I finally did get a really great manual put together that I was actually really proud of but it still made me mad that I had to do it.  Then to top it off, the new person who replaced me barely used it and would just come get me (in my new dept) whenever she had questions .  Just keep your chin up and do the best you can, that's really all you can do .

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ElfQ1015
Message #14765 - 12/16/10 05:47 PM

NOW my boss is wanting me to produce a set of desk instructions so someone can just walk in the door and into my job

How to do my job: Go pester the boss to show you how to do everything, it's not my problem.

 

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regina24601
Message #14766 - 12/16/10 05:56 PM

Hey, sbcaligirl!  How are you doing?  Is morning sickness still kicking or is it pretty much gone?

[Virgil Showlion]

PalmettoLady
Message #14767 - 12/16/10 06:09 PM



Mutt: I work in a family business, so me, my mom and dad, my brother and my aunt. So I plan to do a combination of lessening work hours, my mom will also lessen her hours some (she's at a point in the last few years of preparing to go part time as I resume more of her roles) and if need be DH and I are prepared to hire a person to watch baby part-time in home. When my mom had me I came to work, so I know the setup can function well, we don't have customers come in and out or anything like that. It's moving and storage, so mostly warehousing and dispatching of crews, etc. I have an individual office that I can outfit as I see fit, and close the door etc if baby is fussy. Basically it's going to come down  to baby's temperament (I'm prepared to have someone provide care in home if it comes to that, but still only part time BC I can fluctuate my schedule quite a lot). Mobility again shouldn't be an issue as I can have my office baby gated at the door and have baby free roam my office. It's an odd set up but, has the potential to work out really well depending on baby's temperament. If I didn't work solely with family (except the employees we dispatch who don't remain in the office area) I'd never dream of making it work.

The work situation isn't the only reason I think BFing would be too much pressure on me, its just part of it, I could certainly do it there if I wanted too. I just feel like having to worry about it and focus on BFing so much would make me crazy.

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EconStudent07
Message #14768 - 12/16/10 06:19 PM

I typed up my birth story for a pregnancy board I am on, so it is kind of detailed and VERY long! I mostly just copied and pasted it - hope you don't get too bored reading...if you do, feel free to skip.

My water broke shortly after 8 am on Friday. My husband was about to leave for work and I sat up in bed to give him a hug. We were talking about something--I'm a little fuzzy on what, probably the baby coming--and he jokingly pushed me back on to the bed so I could go back to sleep. At that point I felt the fluid start to leak out, and I told him that either I just peed myself or he broke my water. I hadn't lost any bladder control throughout pregnancy so I was pretty sure it was my water breaking.

I stood up and it became very obvious that it was my water as it continued to gush while I walked to the bathroom and after I was finished in the bathroom. We started to realize "this is it!" I knew that my usual midwife was out of town for the day, so we called her just to let her know that I was in labor, then called the on-call midwife. This was an hour or so after I woke up, and since I hadn't felt any baby movement, the midwife suggested that we go to the hospital to get checked out. I hadn't planned to go to the hospital this early because longer time in the hospital = more time for interventions to be done. However, I wanted to make sure that the baby was okay, so we decided to go ahead and go in.

The midwife called ahead for us and left orders to not do any vaginal checks on me. If the water is broken, once vaginal checks are started they have a strict time frame that the baby has to be out in because of the risk of infection. Without checks, they would be willing to wait until the next morning before starting pitocin. I just had to hope that my contractions started on their own, and soon!

We first went and got some lunch because I was afraid that they wouldn't let me eat. DH and I walked around the maternity and pediatrics floor for about an hour, then went back to our room to try out the birthing ball. Not too long after I started sitting on the ball, my contractions started up, but they were about 20 minutes apart. I originally hadn't planned to go to the hospital until my contractions were at least 5 minutes or so apart, so I was a little worried that I was going to be waiting forever.

The on call midwife and the nurse assigned to me were wonderful, and they even let me eat! They suggested that I stick to liquids (including things like oatmeal, so sort of real food) and the crackers I had brought so that I wouldn't get sick. I was sooo glad that I had brought gatorade with me...I really think it was how I kept my energy up all afternoon.

About 2 or 3 pm, my contractions went from 15-20 minutes apart to about 5 minutes apart within the space of a few contractions. They were starting to get more intense too. I spent a few hours on the ball. I wasn't really sitting on it any more though...I kind of leaned off of the edge of it and rested my head on a pillow on the edge of my bed. DH sat in a chair next to me and rubbed my lower back through each contraction.

A few hours later - I wasn't watching the clock so I'm not sure what time - I started to feel sick so I went into the bathroom. I threw up a few times (so glad I didn't eat much!), then sat on the bathroom floor against the tub and labored there for a long time. The cold floor and the position felt good. Looking back, I was probably in transition at this point. My MIL came in to see how we were doing, and I didn't even move from my position or acknowledge that she came in...I was just concentrating too hard.

I did have intermittent monitoring of my BP, the baby's heartrate, and my contractions throughout all of this. I think that they checked me every hour, and every couple of hours I had to be on the monitors for 1/2 an hour. These checks were pretty much the only time I left my positions on the ball or the bathroom floor except for when I had to pee.

continued below

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EconStudent07
Message #14769 - 12/16/10 06:20 PM

Part Two

After a while of laboring in the bathroom, the nurse told me to make sure I let her know if I started to feel any pressure like I needed to push. I was having a little, so we decided to go ahead and do a cervical check. This was the first check I had since my contractions at 35 weeks. I was 1 cm then and partially thinned. At this check, I was 7-8 cm dilated and fully thinned.

At that point, the contractions were so frequent and intense that I didn't want to get back out of bed, so I found a comfortable position in bed and labored there. Not long after the check, I started to feel like I needed to push. They told me to wait and explained all of the reasons that I shouldn't push before I'm fully dilated. The nurse said that I could make the remaining cervix swell and make it harder to get the baby out, and I could potentially tear my cervix.

So I tried to wait. They knew that the baby was coming soon, so they called the doctor (by this point the midwife was off of her shift and a doctor was on). They brought in their table full of instruments and bowls (later I got to see what was on it...they had a bowl for the placenta, scissors for cutting the cord, etc.)

The urge to push became irresistible. This was the first time in my labor that I really made any noise at all, and all I remember is saying "I have to I have to" while they told me NOT to push. Not pushing when I wanted to was without a doubt the worst part of labor and birth. I can't describe how painful and intense it was...I was fighting every urge in me. My husband was great during this part. Everyone else was yelling "don't push don't push!" and he was just really calm and talking me through it.

At some point in there they checked and I was fully dilated. Apparently they were making me wait to push because the doctor wasn't there yet. I'm really glad I didn't know this at the time, because I would have been pretty upset. I thought that my cervix still wasn't ready.

Finally the doctor got there and they started talking me through the pushing. They lowered the end of the bed so I was right on the edge, and they put up a squat bar so I could try to squat for pushing. That was not comfortable for me, so I braced my feet on the bar. It was much better than stirrups. They had me do 3 10 second pushes with each contraction. Within just a few contractions I started to see hair poking out. Watching her come out in the mirror over my bed was surreal. I couldn't watch her actually come out - it was too weird to see myself pushed out that way, but it was neat to see in the mirror. When she was really close to coming out, they told me I could try to push without a contraction. Two pushes and her head popped out. The doctor helped ease her head and shoulders out, then they had me reach down and pull her out the rest of the way.

That was an amazing, exhilarating moment. They put a towel over her and DH and I wiped the vernix off of her. She stayed on there for quite awhile. This was good because they were stitching up my tear and it was rather painful since I hadn't had any pain medicine or an epidural. They did numb the area, but it was still painful. Maggie stayed on me until they took her off a while later, and they eventually weighed her. In the next couple hours, they gave her a bath, took her footprints, and took some blood. She did not get the erythromycin that they usually put in baby's eyes. The medicine is just in case the mom has gonorrhea and doesn't know it - the baby could get an infection and go blind. There's no chance I have gonorrhea and I'm allergic to erythromycin, so I didn't have her get it.

continued below

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EconStudent07
Message #14770 - 12/16/10 06:21 PM

Part Three

The next few hours are a bit of a blur, but I know that they did some more checking on the baby and gave her her first Hep B vaccine. They finished up my stitches (ow!). Oh, on the tearing...I didn't know that I was tearing while I was in labor. I remember the doctor talking about supporting my perineum to help it stretch, and I guess maybe this was when it was starting to tear. I do remember a strong burning feeling that I thought was just me stretching, but it was probably the tearing. Even with the tearing, pushing was much less painful than the not-pushing that proceeded it. It was such a relief to work with my body and follow the urge to push.

Someone on here mentioned knowing that the birth in the next room was unmedicated because of how the woman was screaming...I can attest that not all natural births are like that.

how I dealt with pain - Relaxation, relaxation, relaxation. If I wasn't calm at the beginning of a contraction, it was very painful. If I was relaxed, it was much more bearable. Having a support person was also essential. I don't think I could have had an unmedicated birth without DH there. The few contractions that he wasn't in the room for were much more difficult. Other than that, knowing that this was a temporary situation really helped get me through. I never really considered getting an epidural, in large part because I was afraid of lengthening my labor since epidurals can stall labor.

My labor was 13.5 hours from time my water broke until she was born. I pushed for 39 minutes, and I was in active labor for about 7 hours. Overall, it was a really wonderful experience - I was very lucky to have the birth that I wanted. I am so blessed to have my sweet baby girl here in my arms.

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14771 - 12/16/10 06:23 PM

We had some freezing rain come thru our area last night. It started to thaw this morning and so I decided I would try to go to work. I fell in my driveway walking down to my car It was just like in movies when you see people fall, their legs go way up in the air and they land on their back. But in the movie it's funny. It wasn't funny because I slammed back on my head. My elbows took the brunt of the fall they are so sore. DH was home today so Olivia was home with him. Thank goodness I wasn't carrying her too. So I'm at home resting up and hoping I don't get a concussion. I'm a little dizzy and nauseous so I'm trying to take it easy.

---

regina24601
Message #14772 - 12/16/10 06:45 PM



Ooh, gardenergirl, I'm so sorry to hear that!    I know exactly how that feels to have your feet fly out from under you, and it HURTS.  Take it easy today, and definitely watch for signs of a concussion.

Econ - What an amazing birth story!  You almost (almost) have me thinking about a drug-free birth.  It's nice to hear you got the birth story that you were aiming for.  (I think I'll still take my epidural, though - I'm a wuss.  )

[Virgil Showlion]

Former_Roomate_99
Message #14773 - 12/16/10 06:47 PM

I just don't think I could deal with the extra time constraints and pressure of needing to be the sole provider to baby for nourishment

It's not an all or nothing thing.  Unless you're one of those excessively rare overproducers, it is fairly easy to reduce your milk supply and mix BF-ing with formula.  For example, you can BF during maternity leave, and then start introducing a couple bottles a day the in last few weeks.  That should lower your supply enough so that you can get away with pumping once a day at work and eventually not at all. 

 

 , are you aware that nausea and dizziness are textbook signs of a concussion? 

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14774 - 12/16/10 06:52 PM



econ - What a beautiful birth story.

gardenergirl - I hope you are ok.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14775 - 12/16/10 06:55 PM



gardenergirl, I hope you're okay.  If you continue to feel dizzy or feel nauseous or anything, please get checked out because you may have a concussion.  DH fell on our concrete steps last December during a freezing rain storm.  The edge of a step went into his lower back.  He ended up being off of a work for a week because he was so bruised and swollen that he couldn't wear his belt and equipment.

Econ, What a great story.  I'm so happy for you that you had a good experience and got the kind of birth you wanted.  I absolutely agree that not being able to push when you want to was the worst part of it.  Even with the epidural I had extremely intense urges to push long before I was ready.  My whole body was shaking just resisting the urge to push.

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #14776 - 12/16/10 06:56 PM

Beautiful story, Econ!  I love the long birth stories actually .  I still remember that urge to push too, and them making me wait until the doctor got there!  But I could NOT wait, and I knew I was already fully dilated (they told me so) and I figured this is what our bodies are made to do, so I just pushed anyway (a nurse was right there with me). 

DH called the job today.  The position is still open!  It turns out they hired a new HR manager that's in charge of all the hiring and then the holidays, so I guess everything got lost in the shuffle.  The old HR guy did remember DH though and said he would have the new HR guy contact him.  So we'll see! 

---

azure sky
Message #14777 - 12/16/10 07:05 PM

Econ -- that is a great birth story. Congratulations!

I was the one who asked why nobody else was screaming, and they said it was because none of them were trying NCB. My water also broke first, and I was in active labor for 26 hours before getting an epi, then another 10 before the c-section. My contractions came on strong and quickly from the beginning. I had back labor, and it was so painful, I was definitely screaming. I am hoping that if I have a baby #2, s/he will be in a better position and things will move along better with less pain.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14778 - 12/16/10 07:05 PM



Econ I am glad everything went exactly to plan, or pretty much.

 

I know not all natural childbirths involving blood curddling screaming, but I was sitting on the floor still trying to convince myself I was going to do it drug free when that woman let out her shriek and that was enough for me to finally wave the white flag.

 

DH was kinda glad she screamed because he saw how sick and tired I was and felt I was putting myself thru something I really didn't need to.

 

I am glad I got one because I think childbirth in the condition I was in that night would have been much harder and miserable without the epidural.

 

If I had gone to my due date, I was planning on staying home after Thursday so I probably would have felt up to forgoing the epidural. 

 

  The position is still open!  It turns out they hired a new HR manager that's in charge of all the hiring and then the holidays, so I guess everything got lost in the shuffle.  The old HR guy did remember DH though and said he would have the new HR guy contact him.  So we'll see

Crossing my fingers AND my toes for your DH!

[Virgil Showlion]

EconStudent07
Message #14779 - 12/16/10 07:17 PM

Econ - What an amazing birth story!  You almost (almost) have me thinking about a drug-free birth.  It's nice to hear you got the birth story that you were aiming for.  (I think I'll still take my epidural, though - I'm a wuss.  )

After my experience, I am definitley convinced that every woman should stick with what she really wants and try to make that happen. I know that if I hadn't wanted an unmedicated birth, dealing with the pain would have been a lot more difficult. Also, things don't always go how you want. If I had been in labor for 26 hours like azure, I probably would have wanted an epidural too! Also, getting sleep the night before really helped. I think I was lucky that my water broke right when I woke up. I was well rested, even though I had gotten up to pee 3 or 4 times the night before.

gardenergirl, that sounds painful! As the other ladies said, be sure to watch out for concussion signs.

Meg, fingers crossed for your DH! I hope he gets good news soon.

---

PalmettoLady
Message #14780 - 12/16/10 07:19 PM

It's not an all or nothing thing. 

Yea, I agree with that. I may well try a little breastfeeding while I'm at home those first few weeks, I just can't picture myself going 6 months/a Year, etc. I really commend women who do.

---

boos_mom
Message #14781 - 12/16/10 07:23 PM



econ - I'm so glad you had the birth you were hoping for! 

gardener - maybe you should get checked out at the hospital?  I fell one time and hit my head and ended up throwing up so I went to get checked out.  I was ok, but better to be conservative.  Hope you'll feel better soon.

kgb - I ended up BFing #2 b/c I felt a bit guilty that I did BF with #1 but wasn't as into it with #2 (different personality and harder to feed, latch and lazy feeder).  I did miss not getting to spend as much time with #1 as I'd been used to.  #2 took a long time to feed and needed certain positions and it was best when we were at home vs. out and about.  So, I don't think you should feel guilty at all.  Also, since you have family watching Avery, then she's not as exposed to all the bugs that kids in daycare get.  My kids still got sick even though they were mostly BF. 

anne - I'm doing pretty good.  I'm trying to keep stress levels to a minimum by trying to be on top of all the holiday things that need to be done.  And if some things aren't done, then oh well, I'm not going to stress over that either.

gusita - I'm glad you felt a little better after your nap.  Your DH is too cute, misreading the u/s pic. 

eh - yay for 'mama'!  It melts my heart when they say mama/mommy.  #2 sometimes calls me "mother/mutha".  I have no idea who taught him that, we usually say mommy even when looking at books and people, maybe it's in the books they have at school. 

regina - congrats on finishing up the semester!  Hope LMSK makes her debut soon!

palmetto - I always have way too much stuff in our baby bag.  It seems like we hardly use most of it these days, but I just know that when I take it out, that's when we'll need it!    GL finding a bag you like.  We currently have a disney backpack and toss in additional stuff in an plastic bag when the kids bathe at the relatives'.  Very, um, frugal....   

meg - hoping DH will get some great news soon!

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14782 - 12/16/10 07:25 PM

 Also, getting sleep the night before really helped.

That would definitely help.  My early labor started around 4 p.m. on Monday (right around the time I lost my mucous plug while grocery shopping).  I was uncomfortable enough that I called my doctor at 2 a.m., but she said it was too soon to come in.  I was up most of that night, went to work on Tuesday (which, in hindsight, was stupid), went to the hospital Tuesday night and didn't have Avery until almost 1:30 p.m. on Wednesday.  The epidural did help me get a little rest, though not nearly enough.

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ElfQ1015
Message #14783 - 12/16/10 07:33 PM

The epidural did help me get a little rest, though not nearly enough.

Adrenaline kept me from sleeping, the epidural at least forced me to sit still.  Also it took the pain away so even though I could not sleep I was wasn't on the floor sweating and miserable from contractions anymore.

 

My contractions started at midnight and then I woke up every hour after that.  It wasn't till 5 am that I got DH up and it was 5:30 when he made the call that we were going to the hospital.

 

Thursday had been a MISERABLE day.  If I do it over again if I feel like that I am staying the hell home and just pulling the belt tighter if I have to take some unpaid leave.

 

I wasn't disappointed by that point with getting an epidural.  I was ready for one and just wanted Gwen OUT by the time the anesthesiologist came in.

 

It helps I made my own decision to skip natural and get an epidural.  If I'd had no choice I probably would have been much more upset about it, but I had plenty of time while crouched on the floor to think.

 

---

boos_mom
Message #14784 - 12/16/10 07:34 PM

went to work on Tuesday (which, in hindsight, was stupid),

  the weird things we do when pregnant!

[Virgil Showlion]

yogiii
Message #14785 - 12/16/10 07:50 PM



anne - He just turned 7 months old and only started solids at 6 months.  He went from 2 MOTN wake ups to 1 about a week after starting solids.  He was hungry!  I would love a copy of your sleep stuff if you don't mind.  I don't think we are currently struggling much but it would still be good to have.  You can hotmail it to yogiii.1

 

muttley - For a week or so DS has been doing 7-330 and then maybe 4-6.  For a while it was just 4-5.  I wanted to try to move his bedtime up to 730 so he'd hopefully sleep later than 5 and then he started sleeping until 6 so I'm leaving it alone for now.  Even just the one wakeup is a great change

 

azure - no crawling yet, he just started to sit on his own a week or so ago, I think he was a little late on that and  early on rolling so who knows what will happen with crawling.  I posted my email right before Thanksgiving for you in case you wanted to meet up some time but I don't think you saw it because you weren't around then.

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insurancemoneymaven
Message #14786 - 12/16/10 07:50 PM



eternal - I am sorry work has been so rough. I am training my replacement right now too, and it's hard because they don't want her to do 1/2 of the things I usually do because they don't trust anyone else like they trust me. That's a hard thing to tell someone else and avoid certain topics during training. I am thinking about you! We're having such parallels in our pregnancies. Overall since the start of my pregnancy, I have a net change in weight of -2 pounds. I am sure I'll be catching up on that soon enough here in the last trimester.

 

garden - I hope you're ok! those symptoms sound like a concussion to me.

 

econ - great birth story. You give me hope that I can make it through natural birth like I want to! I am going in open-minded and flexible.

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sbcaligirl
Message #14787 - 12/16/10 08:30 PM

regina: Thanks for asking!  It is quite a bit better the last week or so.  My midwife last time said I could take a break from the prenatals for a week or two and since we were going on vacation I decided that was the perfect time.  I'm not sure if it is stopping the prenatals or just the fact that I'm at about 12 weeks that made things better but whatever the cause, I will take it !

Our vacation is going well right now and I'm trying to stay as rested as possible but it is tough without a consistent schedule.  Congrats on the new bambinos!  I haven't had time to comment much but I am keeping up with the thread as much as possible.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14788 - 12/16/10 08:54 PM

sbcali- I didn't know you were expecting. Congrats!

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GusitaRenkr
Message #14789 - 12/16/10 08:59 PM

BF-ing: I have decided (Dh agrees) that it is not going to be for me. I am too selfish. That sounds HORRIBLE, but I don't care, happy mommy=happy baby. I just don't think I could deal with the extra time constraints and pressure of needing to be the sole provider to baby for nourishment. I NEED DH to be able to equally or more so feed baby, obviously I could pump and he could feed him then, but that still puts all the pressure on me. I'm also in a unique work situation and plan to come back at least part time (bringing baby) after about 3 weeks or so. (We have a family business). I know a lot of people lump a person into the two categories: crazy breast feeder or practically negligent formula feeding mother. It bugs me women do that, I'd prefer to take a "Whatever works for YOU" standpoint.

I kind of feel this way too. I have been on the fence about breastfeeding since before I got pregnant-I know it's better for baby and cheaper than formula feeding, but it's just not one of the things about child rearing that is very important to me, if that makes sense. I know for some women, breastfeeding is/was very important to them, so of course they are willing to go everything in their power to make it work.  I don't get excited about it, and it just seems like such a chore and such hard work to me. I think my apathy about it kind of sets me up for failure.  I read about the dry, cracked, bleeding nipples, some women get, and I think I am just too selfish to do that to my breasts, willingly. And then, all the posts I have seen on numerous pregnancy boards about breastfeeding killing the sex life, well, I am definitely too selfish in that respect. Sex is one of the things I really enjoy with DH, and if breastfeeding is going to make resuming normal relations even harder that it already is after having a baby, that alone would be enough for me to not do it, which I know sounds absolutely terrible, but it's the truth.  I just have no desire to have the baby attached to my breast for 2-3 hours at a time, using me as a pacifier or cluster feeding or to have to nurse him every couple of hours. I want to be able to enjoy the baby as much as possible, because I know they grow up so fast, and that just doesn't sound very enjoyable.

Gardenrergirl-Oh no, I hope you are okay! Please go get check out if you think you might have a concussion.  We had some freezing rain/sleet/snow here last night, and DH said he saw so many wrecks today. Our driveway is like an ice rink.
Econ-What an awesome birth story! I'm so glad you were able to have the child birth you wanted.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14790 - 12/16/10 09:10 PM

 know it's better for baby and cheaper than formula feeding,

Meh.  With all the overhead costs I've incurred with getting myself set up to pump at work and store milk for daycare I honestly don't think it is THAT much cheaper than buying a giant can of formula at Sam's Club as needed and calling it a day.


Definetly time wise breastfeeding IMO is not cheaper than formula.  If I did formula I would not need to devote work time to pumping.  DH and I could also take turns making bottles.  I can't exactly make him take a pumping shift.

 

If the child has to be on expensive hypoallergenic formula like Azure's son or DH and I were I can see how breastfeeding is cheaper and easier.  But if you can do good ole fashioned cow's milk powdered formula I don't see how it is that much more expensive than the costs I incur to maintain proper milk storage.

[Virgil Showlion]

gardenergirl0804
Message #14791 - 12/16/10 09:44 PM



Nauseau has let up. I feel better. Don't feel as dizzy either. If it had been a concussion would the symptoms have let up that quickly? I told DH about the symptoms I was having and he just said "oh it's probably just the coffee you drank this morning." Thanks for your concern hon. My elbows hurt SO bad though.And I noticed my neck was a little sore too when I was laying on the floor playing with Olivia, I lifted just my head up and was like Ouch!! Might take a bath and soak to relieve some of the aches.

 

Gusita, I was wondering if you had some freezing rain last night too. There were SO many accidents here too. The county to my north had 200+ accidents and so many people were stuck on highways. I'd take snow to freezing rain any day. Ice is so scary. You can't see it to avoid it until it's too late.

---

regina24601
Message #14792 - 12/16/10 10:28 PM

My elbows hurt SO bad though.And I noticed my neck was a little sore too when I was laying on the floor playing with Olivia, I lifted just my head up and was like Ouch!!

gardenergirl - I hate to tell you this, but just wait until tomorrow morning.  Slipping on ice seems to bring the bulk of the pain the second day (at least in my experience).  Take a hot bath, use heating pads, Tylenol, or whatever it takes to make the pain go away.  I don't know much about concussions, but I would guess that the symptoms would stay around longer than they did with you.  Still, if you're unsure, maybe have the doctor check you out.  Hope you get some rest and feel better!

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14793 - 12/16/10 10:29 PM

Econ - I just read your entire story. It was so beautiful. I'm so happy for you that you had such a short (relative to mine LOL) labor and that it was completely natural, the way you wanted it. I had never thought about just staying on the bathroom floor like you did, that was a good idea. Having started labor in the morning after a good night sleep helped you tremendously I'm sure. I wish mine had started in the morning and not at 10 pm! I'm jealous but so happy for you!

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azure sky
Message #14794 - 12/17/10 03:57 AM

And then, all the posts I have seen on numerous pregnancy boards about breastfeeding killing the s.ex life, well, I am definitely too selfish in that respect. S.ex is one of the things I really enjoy with DH, and if breastfeeding is going to make resuming normal relations even harder that it already is after having a baby, that alone would be enough for me to not do it, which I know sounds absolutely terrible, but it's the truth.

OK, I'm going to be honest here: this doesn't sound terrible to me, but it does make me curious. I feel like s.ex is fine between me and DH, but I am trying to imagine really enjoying it. I don't think I've ever felt that way with anyone. Hmmmm....  Want to share any secrets/tips??

I definitely think you have to keep your womanly identity post baby. It's one reason why I tried to lose weight (I'm back in pre-baby range, but on the higher end). I recently treated DH to some ling.erie yesterday. I was proud of myself, because I left a little note on his desk ("you're on a roll/your finals are done/now it is time/to have some fun/Because you've been/such a good boy/santa left a present/under the tree"), then had it in a gift bag hidden behind the tree. But I didn't do it because I really wanted to, more because I felt like it was important to do a little upkeep on the old marriage, KWIM?

---

azure sky
Message #14795 - 12/17/10 03:58 AM

Gardener -- glad you are feeling better. I had a terrible concussion once (fell backwards 8' and landed on my head), and I definitely knew I needed medical attention. The pain did not dissipate. Good luck, and be ready to go in if you aren't feeling well at any point.

---

ladyki
Message #14796 - 12/17/10 04:41 AM



I am a little sad, I had originally plan to breastfeed Kiani until she turned 6 months old. It was just a little hard for me so I did both formula and breastfeeding after the first week that she was born. I had been doing that up until two weeks ago. As I mentioned before she had a very stuffy nose. She was having a very hard time breathing thru her nose so she only wanted the bottle and would not take my breast. Well no that she is better she no longer wants my breast at all, I already wanted to stop the breastfeeing but it still makes me a little sad that she no longer wants it.

 

eh230-Congrats on Henry calling you mama, how exciting, I cant wait until I hear Kiani's first word.

 

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #14797 - 12/17/10 04:56 AM

The on call midwife and the nurse assigned to me were wonderful, and they even let me eat!

Econ- It was so nice of them to let you eat. They did not let me eat, I was starving, even with my water broken and my contractions I could not stop thinking about food, lol. I went in to the hospital at around 6:00pm and did not have Kiani until 4:24am, as soon as they took care of her and stiched me up the nurse brought me a sandwich and some juice. That was the most delicious meal ever, lol.

 

Gardengirl- hope the fall wasnt to bad and that you are feeling better.

---

GusitaRenker
Message #14798 - 12/17/10 06:39 AM

OK, I'm going to be honest here: this doesn't sound terrible to me, but it does make me curious. I feel like s.ex is fine between me and DH, but I am trying to imagine really enjoying it. I don't think I've ever felt that way with anyone. Hmmmm....  Want to share any secrets/tips??

Way too much TMI here, but I think the reason I enjoy sex with DH so much is because he is awesome about making sure I orgasm whenever we do it, every time (if at all possible.) I do not orgasm just from sex. I do orgasm from oral sex rather easily and from using my bullet **** (either during or after actual sex). DH will either perform oral sex until I orgasm, before we do the actual deed, or we will use the bullet **** while we do the deed and I orgasm that way. Both ways feel awesome for me, in different ways. We also have a drawer with a variety of 'toys and accessories' (some bondage stuff, a few sex games, some adult DVDs, etc) in it that we use every 2-3 weeks whenever one of us is in the mood for something a little 'different.' We're definitely not shy about trying new things (even if might sound a little strange at first) or in new places when it's feasible (ie. our pool, campground shower, cruise ship room balcony). You know how they say that in babies, sleep begets more sleep? I kind of feel that way about sex, that sex begets more sex. The more DH and I have sex, the sexier and better I feel, and the more I want it.

I definitely think you have to keep your womanly identity post baby. It's one reason why I tried to lose weight (I'm back in pre-baby range, but on the higher end). I recently treated DH to some ling.erie yesterday. I was proud of myself, because I left a little note on his desk ("you're on a roll/your finals are done/now it is time/to have some fun/Because you've been/such a good boy/santa left a present/under the tree"), then had it in a gift bag hidden behind the tree. But I didn't do it because I really wanted to, more because I felt like it was important to do a little upkeep on the old marriage, KWIM?

 I know what you mean! I think we all do things to help with marriage upkeep. I work from home, and a lot of days I don't leave the house unless I have a doc.apptment or errand to run. Theoretically, I could stay in my PJS all day and not put on a drop of makeup. However, I always make sure that by the time DH gets home from work that I am fully dressed in an actual outfit with my hair and makeup done. He notices too and will normally compliment me on looking pretty or joke that I must have had a 'hot date' while he was at work because I look so nice. I also try to sleep/lounge in things that I know he thinks are sexy/cute (ie. yoga pants and a cami for a lazy day around the house instead of ratty old sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt). I think that DH really appreciates the fact that I try to look nice, just for him. I just don't want him to ever think that I have let myself go and that I don't care about looking nice for him anymore.

---

nasagreen
Message #14799 - 12/17/10 01:26 PM



Econ - Yes yes yes!  That is what I so needed to hear right now.  I'm aware things can be different for each person, but we are doing Bradley and what you describe is what I'm focusing on trying to have for my experience.  I am going to try very hard not to result in a sit-com like atmosphere of screaming and hating on DH!

I'm 22 weeks today and last night after 2 hours of sleep, woke up with the worst heartburn ever.  Really it was like liquid was up in my throat from my stomach.  Needless to say, that caused a 30 min session in the bathroom and I woke up hungry after I went back to bad.  Thank goodness I can wake up due to my body telling me something and then after it is over, get right back to sleep.  I know other pregnant women aren't so lucky.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14800 - 12/17/10 01:27 PM

But I didn't do it because I really wanted to, more because I felt like it was important to do a little upkeep on the old marriage, KWIM?

I do know what you mean.  I've never been an overly sexual person.  Sex just isn't a priority for me.  And it's not because of anything lacking on DH's part.  When we DTD, it's always good.  He's attentive.  I have no complaints.  It's just not at the top of my list.  But I've been thinking I need to do something like you just did for my DH.  I think we need a little upkeep.  It's really hard working opposite shifts too.  You kind of need to be in the same building to DTD.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14801 - 12/17/10 02:07 PM



Ladies, I have some bad news regarding the message boards.  It seems I have received some pretty accurate information that MSN is doing away with most of the boards after the first of the year.  They've selected some boards to be moved to a new site, though I don't know which boards.  WIR may make the cut, but I don't know.

We need to think of a way we can all stay in touch if WIR doesn't stay in tact on the new site.  I would miss this board so much.

---

gardenergirl0804
Message #14802 - 12/17/10 02:18 PM



Oh no!! They cannot do away with this board!! We need to at least get email addresses for us all to stay in touch, or maybe there is another blog spot or something that we can use? I don't know too much about these things so hopefully someone will have a good idea/suggestion.

 

Tonight is the Parents Night Out at DC. I don't know how late DH and I will actually stay out because Olivia's teacher told us that she's going to be the only baby there tonight . It's mostly older kids that will be there. That teacher made me feel SO guilty. We are having our finance/accounting lunch out today and then we get to go home after that so DH and I are just going to start our date early. We're going to go see Harry Potter and then go have some drinks. I told him I probably won't want to eat dinner because we are going to Fogo De Chao for lunch. I've never been but I hear it's so good. If I can contain myself and only eat a little then maybe we'll go have dinner.

 

I'm doing ok today. Not quite as sore as I thought I would be. I haven't even taken any ibuprofen or anything today. I took a really long bath last night so I think that helped a lot. I noticed some other pains though while I was laying there that I didn't even know I had! No dizziness though or nausea. Just aches and pains so I think I'll be ok

 

Olivia is 9 months today. Where does the time go.

[Virgil Showlion]

ElfQ1015
Message #14803 - 12/17/10 02:24 PM



WIR gets heavy traffic.  I'd assume if they are getting rid of boards get rid of ones where no one is at like MarketTalk, Pennystocks etc, but then when does MSN ever do anything that makes sense?


Gwen has ANOTHER daycare boyfriend!  This one tries to give her cookies!   I told her that she is way too young to be figuring out that she can charm boys into giving her stuff.  Next thing i know she is going to be wearing baby high heels and diapers with "juicy" on the butt.

 



 

DH doesn't find the "boyfriend" jokes humorous. I told him she's five months old and the little boys are at most 18 months, lighten up we don't mean they are LITERALLY boyfriend/girlfriend they don't even understand what that means.  Besides she's closer in age to them than I am to DH, so he can't talk about her and "older men".

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14804 - 12/17/10 02:27 PM

Olivia is 9 months today. Where does the time go.

Wow!  The time goes so fast.  I can't believe Avery is heading towards 15 months in a couple more weeks.  The time really does fly by so fast.

We need to at least get email addresses for us all to stay in touch, or maybe there is another blog spot or something that we can use?

Well the folks on EE are trying to organize into a Facebook group.  But when you mentioned a blog that got me thinking.  I have a personal blog that I do for my family and friends, and I have a cooking blog.  I wonder if there's a way to start a blog for the ladies here.  We wouldn't be able to really get new members just hopping on, but we could all keep in touch.  If I create a generic account we could share a password so we could start posts about topics and then everyone could comment.  Thoughts?  Other suggestions?

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14805 - 12/17/10 02:30 PM

I belong to a wedding forum someone started after our site crashed and turned into "The Knot 2". I can ask how she set up the site, it's pretty private and mostly girls from the original site.  I'll do that right now.

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14806 - 12/17/10 02:38 PM



Facebook won't work well for me because it's blocked here at work. What's the website you use for the Blog? I want to make sure I can get on it here at work since I do the majority of my discussion posting/reading here at work!

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14807 - 12/17/10 02:46 PM

gardenergirl, I use BlogSpot.  I'll e-mail you a link to my personal blog.  Test it out and see if you can read it.

---

stina72
Message #14808 - 12/17/10 02:47 PM



Econ-I loved your birth story, it was beautiful.  It's nice to hear both unmedicated and medicated birth stories, it really gives those of us who haven't had children yet ideas of how things can go! 

GardenerGirl-I'm glad you are feeling better after your fall!  Don't feel bad about utilizing your day care's date night services.  I worked in day care for a few years and the center I worked at did this every other month and a ton of parents used it.  They were all so grateful that they had the time to go out with their SO (or whoever), and they didn't have to arrange a sitter to come to their house, take their child to someone else's house, etc. and it really made those of us who stayed late to provide care feel good that the parents got some free time!

Drama-That is adorable about Gwen having boyfriends!  She is a doll so you and your DH will only have more problems to come, I'm sure! 

RE the board leaving....darnit for lurking so long, I should've introduced myself sooner to get to know everyone a little better!  Here's to hoping this board makes the cut!

[Virgil Showlion]

regina24601
Message #14809 - 12/17/10 02:47 PM

No no no!!  They can't take away WIR!!  It's the only message board I'm on!  And I'm with gardenergirl - Facebook is blocked at work (but then again, so are most blog sites ).  But I'm still in no matter what we decide - I'll just only be able to read it from home.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14810 - 12/17/10 02:53 PM

Let's hope they keep WIR.  Fear not regina, we'll figure something out!

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14811 - 12/17/10 02:54 PM



I'm on babycenter under the same screen name.  Kind of funny, I ended up on the same board as Amazonhunter (a former racer) and I was like hey are you on WIR and she was like yeah are you? It was a small board, so that was pretty nifty. 

Gardener - Congrats to Olivia.  9 months old!! Wow.

Guista - Honstly having a baby in general puts a damper on your sex life. 

 

---

KRR627
Message #14812 - 12/17/10 02:57 PM

I'm up for joining a new blog if we need to go that route.  I love this message board!  It's nice to have the mix of TTC, pregnancy, and mothers because it's more varied than other message boards I visit.  Not to mention everyone is nice here!

I'm bummed this morning.  At 10 DPO, my temperature has dropped for the 2nd day so it's looking more likely that AF will be coming tomorrow or Sunday.  Boo!  I know I'm not out until AF arrives but at this point, a BFP does not seem probable.

Oh well, it's Friday today and then I only have to work Monday & Tuesday before going on vacaction.  Yay!

---

azure sky
Message #14813 - 12/17/10 03:00 PM

We can't lose our thread!!!!!!  Another option is, actually, babycenter. I am also on there, with a similar screan name (someone stole Azure Sky, lol). We could set up a group--could even label it "WIR"--and then it would still function as a message board. Then we could also have it mobile.

A blog might work really well, too. I just don't know how they work.

Will we be notified if they are going to close this message board, or will it just be gone one day???

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14814 - 12/17/10 03:12 PM

Will we be notified if they are going to close this message board, or will it just be gone one day???

I'm not sure.  My guess is that if there is going to be notification it would be too late to organize our group somewhere else.  That's why I wanted to have a backup plan just in case WIR doesn't get moved to the new site.

[Virgil Showlion]

red_wagon
Message #14815 - 12/17/10 03:18 PM

Hey ladies! I'm new here. Recently married and starting to talk about starting a family. Being ornery and a.nal retentive that I am, I like to feel planned and ready, but so many people have said you're never "ready" to have kids. How much did you guys save before embarking on this journey? Just to cover your maternity leave? Or an additional baby-raising fund? I feel like we'll never get there, but we'd like to have our first child in 2012, ideally... Just not sure where to start. (Well, I know where to technically start, but I mean financially) For those of you who did not breastfeed, what are those monthly costs for formula? I won't be able to breastfeed due to medications I'll be hopping back on soon after pregnancy is over... What do you guys pay for child care? Especially if you live in HCOL areas... that's probably our biggest hurdle, really.

Thanks in advance!! Feels so odd to be seriously discussing this, after years of pregnancy being "bad". Time to realize I'm a married woman now, not a teenager haha!

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14816 - 12/17/10 03:23 PM

For those of you who did not breastfeed, what are those monthly costs for formula?

Welcome to the boards!  My costs varied. For the first couple of months is was around $75 to $100 a month.  Once she started to eat more, it was probably closer to $125 to $150 a month.  Avery had acid reflux, so I used the Enfamil AR, which had added rice to help her food stay down better.  Some times I had more coupons or I could find "bonus" cans that had extra formula and that helped keep the costs down a bit.

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azure sky
Message #14817 - 12/17/10 03:25 PM

OK, how many of us are on babycenter?  Over there, I am Azure Sky FTM. I created a group for us, at least as a stopgap measure, since I am sure we are all busy and it might take awhile to get a blog going. You can find it here: community.babycenter.com/groups/a6723121/wir

It is called "WIR"

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MuttleynFelix
Message #14818 - 12/17/10 03:33 PM



Red - I can't answer your daycare or formual questions, but here is what we looked at:  we came up with how much money we needed in the bank to pay my max out of pocket medical expenses and cover our expenses for 3 months, plus leaving some money in the bank.  I went back to work pretty early, but I wanted to have a just in case fund.  Once the money was in the bank, we just went for it.  DH didn't have a job and once I got pregnant we decided he would just stay home with the baby. I got 2 good raises while I was pregnant that made a difference in our budget. 

So, DS had a major melt down last night. I had not heard him cry that hard for that long in ages ... especially for no apparent reason.  He had a late nap and had just gotten up when I got home at 5:30 (we normally don't let him nap past 5, I'm not sure why last night was any different, but it was).  He was doing ok when I first got home.  I nursed him and then DH and I ate the pizza I splurged on on the way home.  We were on the couch, so he kept standing up and pulling on our legs.  After we got done, DH went out in the garage and DS just started seriously fussing.  I don't know if it was gas or constiapation. He did poop (although at the time I thought it was just a fart). So, I finally got him calmed down enough I felt like he would play while I got him supper. He started crying. So, I put him in the high chair and gave him some cheerios while I finished everything and he went balistic.  I finally took him out of the chair and held him on my lap. DH came out of the bathroom and fed him a few **** and DS calmed down. So we tried the high chair again.  We couldn't tell if he was hurting or just mad.  Sometimes it came out that he hurt and sometimes he just acted mad. DH tried feeding him some more and then took him to change is diaper and was talking about just doing bedtime and I said you want to and DH said yes. So, we did bedtime and DH got DS calmed down and I did a little bit longer bedtime routine and DS went to bed at 7:30 and fell right asleep and slept until 5:15 this morning, nursed and went right back asleep and I actually left him sleeping this morning rather than wake him up and nurse him one more time before work. It was just weird!

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gardenergirl0804
Message #14819 - 12/17/10 03:41 PM



red wagon - welcome to the board! Make sure you find out up front from you insurance company exactly how much they will cover for all your pre-labor doc appointments, ultrasounds, and the delivery charges (also find out how much c-section would be, if needed). If you have an HMO it's pretty easy to figure out the costs, usually just a deductible, but with a PPO it could be more. It's best to know up front. It varies how much people have saved up. Some have a set dollar amount, others so many months of bills, etc. Are you working now? Will you be working after baby is born? Will you take maternity leave, for how long? How much will your employer pay you for maternity leave? Best to get all these facts up front so you know what kind of costs you'll be up against. If you live in a HCOL plan to pay a lot for daycare!! I live just outside Atlanta, a pretty big city but relatively low housing costs and pay $235 a week. It does get cheaper as you LO gets older, but when they are very little it costs the most. If you can find in-home care for your baby it's cheaper. But don't base a daycare just on costs. Find one where you feel comfortable. This is not an item to be cheap on!

 

Feel free to ask questions of any kind, this is a great board!

 

azure - thanks for setting that up. At least we have a backup. I've never used babycenter but I am able to get on it at work so that works for me!

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #14820 - 12/17/10 03:44 PM



Thanks azure!!  I'm not on there yet, but I will be.

Muttley, Avery occasionally gets into a snit like that where she's just a beast for no apparent reason.  It's really frustrating to not know what's wrong.  DH let Avery take a late nap too and she was off last night.  If she doesn't go down for a nap by 3:30 p.m. I skip the afternoon nap completely and put her to bed early.  DH let her take a nap at 4.  Then she didn't want to go to bed until well after 9.

[Virgil Showlion]

azure sky
Message #14821 - 12/17/10 04:04 PM

Red Wagon, sorry to give you some scary figures. My LO has lots of allergies. If I fed him formula full-time, it would cost roughly $300 - $400 month because he has to take a special kind. I live in a very HCOLA, and my daycare bill is $2,000/month.....for 3/4 time!

I saved up $10k for a maternity leave and an additional $2k for baby expenses, then went for it. Honestly, we've just worked things out as we've gone along.

---

regina24601
Message #14822 - 12/17/10 04:07 PM

Thanks, azure!  I just joined, and I can get on that message board from work.  Okay, I feel better - at least we have a backup in case this one goes down.  I need you ladies!!

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14823 - 12/17/10 04:16 PM



Daycare costs vary depending on what you choose and where you live.  I have a choice of homedaycares ranging from $400 to large fancy pants facilities that cost up to $1500.


The daycare I chose falls in the middle and costs me $630 a month.  I have a separate checking that is set up so $160 is skimmed off the top every pay day and I pay the daycare solely from that account.

 

We had $4500 in savings, currently have $1000.  We really need to build it back up again. I use a good portion of it to pay hospital bills off because I am not a huge fan of doing payment plans with hospitals if I can avoid it.

 

My maternity leave was paid up to 8 weeks if I had enough vacation/sick time which I did. I am lucky that I work in a job where I accure 0.3 hours every week and I had already been here over a year by the time I took maternity leave.  I had A LOT of sick and vacation time.

 

Then my insurance has an out of pocket max of $1500 per person or $3000 per family. Then the insurance kicks in 100%.  So I had to have at least $3000 available.  Then I did not have co-pays or have to meet my deductible for pre-natal care, BCBS automatically pays 70/30 for all prenatal care.


Had to pay my deductible for the ultrasound those were not covered under the pre-natal plan.  I have a deductible of $400 so I met that pretty fast, I think I paid $270 for the ultrasound out of $820.  I'll have to look.

 

It's really hard to compare how much you should be saving because you have no idea how your pregnancy will go vs mine and you have no idea what your baby will be like till he/she arrives.   You also have to factor in where you live, your employer and your own personal benefits.

 

The best place, IMO to start is with your insurance company.  Call to discuss with them their pre-natal plan BEFORE you get pregnant.  Then you will not have any surprises.  My agent said it is very common for her to recieve a call and be yelled at by a pregnant woman who didn't know this or that wasn't covered and if they had just read their policy they would have known.

 

Then the next step is to talk to HR or employee services whichever one handles leave for your employer.  They will be able to give you the breakdown on how maternity leave will work.  I could take up to 8 weeks sick/vacation time and then if I wanted to use the last four weeks they would be unpaid leave. I work for an employer that has WAAAY more than 50 employees, so I was assured at least 12 weeks unpaid FMLA.   If you get anything on top  of that it depends on the employer.

 

Then you need to decide if your DH is going to take leave and then find out if he even can.  DH's employer exploited a loophole in FMLA and did not grant him the full 12 weeks, but he used his vacation and got granted an extra unpaid week. 

 

Those are the places to start. 

---

regina24601
Message #14824 - 12/17/10 04:33 PM



I second Drama's suggestion to call your insurance provider and just have them walk you through their coverage of prenatal care and maternity care in the hospital.  I did NOT follow this advice because I read through my policy and thought I fully understood it.  I have a high deductible plan, and I misunderstood the deductible (I thought it was $1500 per person AND $3000 per family, but it turns out it's just $3000 per family - doesn't matter which individual receives the care).  So I expected to pay $1500 out of pocket at first and then 80% of my costs after that.  I realized after my second ultrasound bill came that I had misunderstood.  So that was a bigger chunk out of my pocket than I expected.

Luckily, I had several thousand extra saved in my HSA account, so it wasn't a crisis, but it was unexpected and if I hadn't had that $ saved up, I would have been seriously stressing out.

Bottom line:  even if you think you're a smarty pants like me  and fully understand your policy, call your provider.  Once I did that, they very nicely walked me through how they bill the appointments, ultrasounds, hospital stay, etc.  It was worth my time.

Oh, and welcome! 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14825 - 12/17/10 04:38 PM

I should clarify make sure you call the INSURANCE COMPANY.  At first I tried calling my benefits office and they had no clue what I was talking about.  Just cut out the middle man and go straight for the insurance company.  Since this coverage is very important and costly it is of the utmost importance to understand it as clearly as possible, the (usually) best source for that is the insurance company itself.

---

ladyki
Message #14826 - 12/17/10 04:43 PM

We need to think of a way we can all stay in touch if WIR doesn't stay in tact on the new site.  I would miss this board so much.

Hopefully this one does not get cut, but I agree lest see if we can think of a way to stay in touch or maybe find a new bard where we can all go.

 

Gardner- glad to know you are doing better. Congrats on Olivia turning 9 months old, yes times does fly by. Kiani will be 5 months in two weeks. Hope you have a great and fun date with your DH. My Dh has his Xmas party tomorrow, so we are doing that. My sister is coming over to babysit with her husband. I really did not want to go, I feel guilty and sad to leave Kiani even if it is only for a few hours.

 

Kriskringle- Your idea sounds great.

[Virgil Showlion]

ladyki
Message #14827 - 12/17/10 04:46 PM

red wagon- welcome to the board.

---

stina72
Message #14828 - 12/17/10 05:13 PM



Red wagon-Welcome! I'm also new to the board, recently married and started TTC about two months ago.  I agree with PP opinions in starting with your health insurance.  Luckily, I work in a medical setting and am able to see facility doctors at no cost, this includes prenatal, L&D, PP and pediatric care.  We are still stocking as much as we can into our EF though just in case something unexpected happens.  Good luck in your TTC journey!

---

red_wagon
Message #14829 - 12/17/10 05:20 PM

Wow, thanks ladies!! My company self-insures and is phenomenal in what they cover, but I'll be sure to check into it in more detail if I'm still here. They've been great in keeping medical costs down for my chronic illness. That would be one reason to stay in a job that I feel is going nowhere, but probably not a very good reason! Wherever I end up when we really start TTC I will be sure to research the heck out of it!!

I live on Long Island so I'm sure daycare will be painful. My SIL ended up going freelance because it didn't make sense for her to go back to her job afterwards, although she agonized over it, but it's working out well for her. Ideally that's what I would do, I think. Much to ponder...

Thank you again!! Now I have somewhere to start my planning!

---

eternal sunshine - 29wks
Message #14830 - 12/17/10 06:15 PM



Good news! I had another crying jag yesterday over this stuff with work and getting prepped for my maternity leave next year...finally my boss realized that she and I were NOT on the same page about what she wanted. She does want updated instructions for my job, but NOT as detailed and nitty gritty as I was thinking she wanted. She used bad wording when she initially emailed me and realized that I had taken her literally.

 

She does want a walk through of everything I do, but geared more towards the folks who have been working wiht me for a year and NOT toward someone just walking in off the street. WHEW!! I feel so relieved. I'm still drowning in work to do, but those work instructions were really really scaring me.  She realized that I couldn't do what I thought she was asking me in a year...much less 10 weeks...10 VERY VERY busy weeks. (not that I'm leaving work in 10 weeks, but we definately want to be at good place once I'm full term so I can go when I need to).

---

boos_mom
Message #14831 - 12/17/10 06:26 PM



kgb - I swear it seem like Avery turned a year a couple of weeks ago! 

gardener - glad you are feeling better.  I hope you have a great 'date night'.  Happy 9 months old to Olivia!

red - welcome!  We had our EF funded with 6 months of expenses, plus a separate baby fund for any unpaid leave plus extra for furniture, baby stuff, and misc. expenses.  Luckily, the big bills were all covered almost 100%, just had some office co-pays for the visits with the fetal specialist doing the u/s and my OB had office co-pays (which had been a global fee before, but it changed). 

eternal - glad the 'manual' has been cleared up!  A lot less stress for you, thank goodness. 

I can't get babycenter at work, it's just not loading, but I'll keep up from home.  I'll have to sign up tonight.  I do hope they give us a little notice though.  I don't FB, so I'd prefer a blog or the babycenter thing. 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14832 - 12/17/10 06:36 PM



If someone wants to start a new forum this is what was used to create the wedding forum I am now on

 

Just go to www.conforums.com/index.html and register.

I'd rather not do it myself because DH never updates our home computer's virus software and I don't want to be running a site here at work.

[Virgil Showlion]

oldfostermom
Message #14833 - 12/17/10 06:48 PM



 The idea of you all disappearing at the beginning of the new year is terrible.  I signed up for the babycenter site so if the terrible comes to pass perhaps I can find you all again.  

I am not pregnant nor trying to become pregnant.  I am in my middle 60's.  I foster substance abused and medically fragile babies on a short term basis.  Being on this board keeps my perspective on how adored and desired babies can and should be.  Many of the biological mothers of babies I take care of also do love their babies, though they are unable at the time of birth to act appropriately. 

YOU, each and every poster, keep me centered when I am tired or sad about my teenies. You remind me of me 40 years ago which helps with compassion and reminds me of very much harder it is today to become a mother than it was back then.  I have grandchildren and hearing your voices makes me a better grandmother and reminds me of the perspective of being the mom. 

I went through the infertility thing, the breastfeeding (am now bottle feeding obviously), the excitement of milestones, and toileting/cloth versus disposable decisions..... all those questions.  And things really are different today.  It is much hard because most new mothers are also working and/or fulltime students. Luckily we know more about babies and have better answers to many problems.    Your babies are people and the future and I constantly hope my current babies find parents who love and raise them as you are doing with your babies.

May your holidays be filled with joy and hope and laughter and the new year bring wonder and peace.

The old lady on this board who rocks babies needing love. 

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14834 - 12/17/10 06:57 PM



Wow oldfostermom, your post made me cry!  What a big heart you have!

---

boos_mom
Message #14835 - 12/17/10 07:07 PM



ladyki - sorry to hear that Kiani self-weaned.  It is sad when they do it.  I did enjoy the act of BFing b/c I got some special bonding time with the kids.  And pumping will never yield those same joys. 

foster - Thank you for doing what you do!  It is so wonderful to know that there are those foster parents out there who really care and are trying to help the children and families.  May your home always continue to be full of love for those babies!

 

I could get the blogspot.com website, so that's possibly another option I'm open to.

---

boos_mom
Message #14836 - 12/17/10 07:15 PM



muttley - hope Ben has a better day today.  Maybe he was just extremely tired due to a growth spurt and needs a little more rest for a few days. 

gusita - hopefully, both you and DH's efforts will maintain your s3x life as is.  For us, it was difficult b/c you're just so exhausted or baby would wake up at inopportune moments.  We noticed that a great time is right after the kids have fallen asleep.  They usually don't wake up to interrupt us. 

---

ladyki
Message #14837 - 12/17/10 07:22 PM



oldfostermom- the world needs more people like you, thanks for doing what you do.

 

boosmom- I tryed to breastfeed her gain today and no luck, she does not want it. Ahhh makes me sad.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14838 - 12/17/10 07:23 PM



The hormones of breastfeeding are a significant chunk of why sex is unpleasant at the moment.  However finding the TIME to have sex would be difficult even if I wasn't breastfeeding.  It's just how our jobs are lined up.  He goes to work at 4am so he goes to bed at around 7:30 pm.  I get home at 4:30 pm.  By the time we've done certain chores that need to be done and eaten dinner there isn't a lot of time for the amount of foreplay I need right now.

 

Now that she is sleeping longer thru the night we can actually start trying to carve out time, especially on weekends.  We really need to make more of an effort.

 

We are just on different pages, but then we always have been to some extent.  DH can get in the mood and get it up in the 10 minutes we have to spare before he goes to bed.  Right now I can MENTALLY get in the mood that fast but my body isn't catching up.


From what I have read, my problem seems to be a little more on the extreme edge than other women's.  I think a large part of my problem is my hormones haven't balanced out yet. I went from being on the pill to a month later being pregnant.


The pill gave me its own share of problems it totally killed my sex drive.

 

So at the moment I am not really sure what NORMAL is for me, we'll have to wait till the return of my period.  I'd like to go back to what we had before I even started the pill.

[Virgil Showlion]

Sam814 - 11wks
Message #14839 - 12/17/10 07:29 PM

KGB - looks like you started mass chaos around here   I really hope they come give us an answer soon one way or another.  They have to see everyone talking... usually things like that get squelched immediately!

---

PalmettoLady
Message #14840 - 12/17/10 07:42 PM



Re: Board Closing -- I hope this doesn't happen! I went ahead and joined the Baby Center thread.

 

Guista: Yea, I definitely don't think we are the only ones who feel that way about breastfeeding. Several of my friends in real life feel similarly.

---

boos_mom
Message #14841 - 12/17/10 07:47 PM

ladyki - so what I usually did was just tried to do a lot of snuggling when bottle feeding.  But, it did make me feel sad and a little rejected.  Hope you'll feel better about it soon.  A milestone, but not a fun one. 

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14842 - 12/17/10 07:50 PM

boos - Thanks (its Benji, BTW .. although we mostly call him Ben now).  I'm thinking he may be teething again since he hasn't gotten any new teeth since Sept or a growth spurt.  Hopefully he is good for DH.  Which reminds me I've been meaning to call them.

---

boos_mom
Message #14843 - 12/17/10 08:07 PM



muttley - oops, Ben!  Sorry!    (there, I fixed it)  And this is a peek into the tantrums that will arrive around the 18 month (maybe sooner or maybe later) mark.   

krr - sorry to hear that it's not looking good for a BFP this month.  Maybe some new year's 'celebrating' will ring it in!

---

red_wagon
Message #14844 - 12/17/10 08:43 PM

Is there a post with acronyms?

The more I think about it, the more I realize blue_wagon's (DH) family has all had a parent or relative stay with the kids. I don't think any of them did day care. That says a lot, I think, about how much it must cost here. All I know is at this point we can't afford $500 a month in day care, let alone thousands. Hmmm. Time to work on raises...

[Virgil Showlion]

PalmettoLady
Message #14845 - 12/17/10 08:52 PM

Is there a post with acronyms?

Not that I've ever known... If you have some you don't know just ask...

For example some of the harder to figure out ones at first for me were:

MOTN: Middle of the night

CIO: Cry It Out

SAHP: Stay at Home Parent

DTD: Do(ing) the deed

 

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14846 - 12/17/10 08:55 PM

boos - I know we are in trouble. This is the baby who through a fit because he wanted to go somewhere and couldn't crawl. At least I figured that one out.  Last night's was strange.  DH said he (DH) woke up a little before 9am to a very rowdy DS. So, I'm guessing DS had been up maybe a half hour at that point.  So, he slept a ton last night.

---

red_wagon
Message #14847 - 12/17/10 08:56 PM

Thanks Palmetto!

Just did some googling and there's an in-home day care on my block. Small world.

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14848 - 12/17/10 08:59 PM



POAS - pee on a stick

 

BFP- Big Fat positive

 

BFN-Big Fat negative

 

DD-dear daugher


DS-Dear Son

 

DH-dear husband (or d*mn husband depending on your mood. lol)

---

red_wagon
Message #14849 - 12/17/10 09:21 PM

haha thanks Elf. The usual WIRR ones I'm familiar with, it's the preggo/parenting ones I'm not. I'll want to be hip to the lingo when I start on this journey!

---

ElfQ1015
Message #14850 - 12/17/10 09:30 PM



EBF-exclusively breastfed


STTN-sleep thru the night

 

AF- Aunt Flow

 

CM-cervical mucus

 

[Virgil Showlion]

eh230
Message #14851 - 12/17/10 09:53 PM



Closing the board - I sincerely hope that it does not happen.  This is the only board that I have ever felt comfortable posting on, and it makes me happy to hear about the days that you ladies and your babies have.  I joined the babycenter board just in case.  Thanks azure!

 

ASM (for red wagon: as for me), I am having a bad day.  We got our raise and bonus information today, and I did not get a raise for the third year in a row, and I got an extremely small bonus.  It is not the result of the economy, as the firm has had a great couple of years, despite the recession.  They have raised my billing rate 30% since I started (which means they make more and more money off of me every year) and insurance 20% this year alone.  I have been told that my work is stellar.  All of the other litigation associates got a raise.  My interpretation, don't have a baby.  It really makes me mad.  I just don't think I am cut out for this job.  I will probably pick up the pace on searching for jobs.  Nothing like money woes to get you in the xmas spirit.   

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #14852 - 12/17/10 09:57 PM

eh - Oh that stinks!!!  I am so sorry.  I hope you can find a new place that appreciates you.

---

boos_mom
Message #14853 - 12/17/10 11:41 PM



muttley - I was trying to figure out how to help #2 get through the tantrums easier, reading up on techniques, but there wasn't much that I tried that worked with him.  It's mainly been time, him developing and maturing.  People always comment about how verbal he is and how well he communicates, but there are those moments that are still tough for him.  And my trying to figure out what the issue was makes him more upset b/c I'm not getting it right.  So, we often end up letting him CIO until some of that energy dissipates.  I find it tends to happen the most when he's tired.  Poor guy.  I hope Ben wasn't too cranky with DH. 

eh - sorry about the "message" given by your employer.  I hope you find something better that also will compensate you accordingly.

---

yogiii
Message #14854 - 12/18/10 12:28 AM

red_wagon - welcome to the board

eh - Sorry that your work isn't supportive.  Mine isn't as bad but I get the raised eyebrow when I don't express interest in staying late or working weekends.  Sorry, seeing my son 2.5-3 hours a day M-F is enough of a hit, I don't need to also work weekends.  I'm glad you joined up the back up babycenter site.  This is the only place I post also, I think it's a great group.

---

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14855 - 12/18/10 03:35 AM

red wagon - welcome! i joined this thread when we contemplated babies, and now I am 30 weeks along. These ladies are wonderful.

board closing - what?! I am on babycenter (canthardlywait8) so I will find the thread in case.

foster - thank you for all that you do!

eh - I am sorry to hear that. How unfair! Do you plan to address this with them?

---

GusitaRenkr
Message #14856 - 12/18/10 06:50 AM

Hi ladies! Today has been kind of crazy, so I've only got a chance to skim through. I saw the post about the boards possibly closing, so I joined the Baby Center group under this name. Hope everyone is doing great!

[Virgil Showlion]

EconStudent07
Message #14857 - 12/18/10 07:01 AM

Econ- It was so nice of them to let you eat. They did not let me eat, I was starving, even with my water broken and my contractions I could not stop thinking about food, lol. I went in to the hospital at around 6:00pm and did not have Kiani until 4:24am, as soon as they took care of her and stiched me up the nurse brought me a sandwich and some juice. That was the most delicious meal ever, lol.

ladyki, yes, it was so nice to be able to eat. They did tell me that if my labor went too long and it looked like I would need pitocin (because my water had broken), I wouldn't be able to eat because it would make me sick. As it was, I didn't feel like eating for the last 5 hours or so of labor, so I was starving afterwards. I was still able to drink though - my husband thought it was funny that I asked for water in between every contraction while I was pushing. After I had her, I ate three PBJs before going to sleep. It was nighttime so the cafeteria was closed, but they kept stuff to make sandwiches on the maternity floor. I also felt that they were the most delicious meal ever! 

Econ - Yes yes yes!  That is what I so needed to hear right now.  I'm aware things can be different for each person, but we are doing Bradley and what you describe is what I'm focusing on trying to have for my experience.  I am going to try very hard not to result in a sit-com like atmosphere of screaming and hating on DH!

nasagreen, a Bradley birth was sort of what we were going for. We only went to a few of the classes, but we used the workbook and some of their ideas to help prepare for labor. Their breathing techniques really helped, and so did practicing relaxing with DH. You definitley can maintain control of yourself in the delivery room.

KRR, sorry it doesn't look like this is your month.

Maggie had her one-week checkup yesterday. She is already 2 ounces OVER her birth weight! The doctor said that this is a great sign that she is healthy, and he was very impressed with how well she is doing. She did not appreciate having them examine her, though.

---

KRR627
Message #14858 - 12/18/10 07:34 AM



azure - thanks for setting up the babycenter group - I joined and posted earlier.

 

red wagon - welcome!  DH and I started TTC just before our 3rd anniversary in May.  We wanted to build up our emergency fund to 6 months of expenses plus some starter funds for big projects that did or will happen in the next couple years. (furnace & a/c replacement, roof replacement, "new to us" car, other home maintenance, etc.)  I want to be a SAHM or work very part time so we've been building up the retirement funds and saving nearly all of my salary so we are used to living on DH's salary alone. 

 

As for daycare costs, I was paid $750 / month for in home care for an infant a few years ago. But like others said, the costs do vary and it depends on what type of place you use.

 

eh - that is not cool that the reviews you got are not in line with your raise and bonus.  I am also curious how you plan to handle the situation.  I would be upset myself, but I'm not sure how I would or could approach my manager about it.  I don't have much experience with salary and job duty negotiation and feel less than confident about bringing up difficult topics.

 

---

KRR627
Message #14859 - 12/18/10 07:39 AM



Oh, I forgot to comment on oldfostermom's comment

 

Wow, I have tons of respect for you!  I don't think I could handle what you do and thanks so much for loving on those children.  They are so lucky to have you!

 

Adopting has crossed my mind as an option even if we do conceive naturally, but I/we are not ready to commit yet.  Do you have any resources available to those of us considering it?  Thanks!

---

jenna30-
Message #14860 - 12/18/10 07:46 AM

Sheesh.  I'm a week behind on this thread... don't know if I'll ever get caught up.

Let's see... Baby E was born 12/9, just before 9pm.  I went in around 7:30 am for an induction, and was on the pitocin by 10am. 

At some point, the Dr broke my water.  That was a weird feeling.... like a warm flowing stream/gush. It seemed to go on forever. 

Once my water broke, I started having actual labor contractions that I could feel ebb and flow.  Prior to that, I was mainly having contractions that seemed like one long muscle spasm - like the entire top of my tummy was tight like a balloon.  I went through about a dozen or so of the contractions before requesting an epidural. 

It took a couple of tries for the epidural to work (I could still feel *some* of the labor pains) but the anathesiologist (sp?) gave me an extra dose, and I ended up numb from the waist down.  Around 6pm ish I believe I was 100% and 10 cm.  They asked me to lift and hold one leg, and there was no way - it felt like dead weight since I was so numb.

I pushed for 2 hours... but the Dr could only feel the crown of his head.  I guess the baby's heart rate was also dropping during pushes -- so the Dr called for an emergency c-section.  I have to admit, when I heard that I would need surgery, I started crying. 

Thank goodness I was quiet (and not bawling.)  Hubby wiped away my tears, while I, essentially, became scared shitless about the c-section.  I also knew that I wouldn't be able to hold my baby right away, and had been looking forward to that initial skin-to-skin contact.

In the OR, I learned that I would be awake, but numb for the surgery.  That was the longest 1/2 hour of my life.  I was so nervous, my teeth wouldn't stop chattering, and I held my eyes shut the entire time.

In the end, the Dr made the right call.  His head would have not fit within my pelvis, and his cord was wrapped around his body twice.  I am too scared to even look at the incision - and this is a week later.  I've heard it's not too bad, and looks like a thin line.

Baby E is fine, and he's drinking a ton of breast milk that is supplemented with formula.  He tends to spit up formula, and sleeps better after drinking the breast milk.

My biggest complaint right now is lack of sleep.  I can't get comfortable due to the pain of the incision.  Nor can I take a pain med + Ambien since I have to pump & feed/watch the Baby.  Sometimes the pain makes my abdomen feel as though it's on fire.

Hope everyone else is doing well... and maybe someday I'll get caught up on all the posts I've missed this last week.

---

insurancemoneymaven
Message #14861 - 12/18/10 01:48 PM

Jenna - happy birthday to baby E!! I hope you can get some rest soon and that the incision will heal quickly. How big was baby E? Thinking of you!

---

anne81
Message #14862 - 12/18/10 04:13 PM

Jenna - congrats!  I hope you start feeling better soon.

econ - thanks for posting your birth story, I enjoyed reading it.
 
yogiii - I sent you the sleep plan, yesterday I think, I hope you received it.

oldfostermom -

muttley - random meltdowns are no fun.  Hope it's been going better.

[Virgil Showlion]

.moonbeam3.
Message #14863 - 12/18/10 04:15 PM

We need to think of a way we can all stay in touch if WIR doesn't stay in tact on the new site

please pardon the post from an non-WIR person, but i wanted to let you all know that there is at least a temporary home at notmsnmoney.proboards.com  


most people there right now are from EE, but the board format has a similar setup to here, including a WIR board. you can have a pregnancy/kids thread there with no problem.


 

---

jenna30-
Message #14864 - 12/18/10 06:23 PM

Baby E was 7lb 14 oz, 21 inches long... I think his head was 14 in

---

yogiii
Message #14865 - 12/18/10 06:41 PM

anne - I didn't get your email .  yogiii.1 at hotmail dot com

---

boos_mom
Message #14866 - 12/18/10 06:44 PM



jenna - glad you and baby E are doing well.  Can you take motrin to help ease the pain?

moon - thanks for the info!

---

red_wagon
Message #14867 - 12/18/10 07:14 PM

Congrats Jenna! Sorry it was such a difficult delivery. Speedy healing to you!!

---

EconStudent07
Message #14868 - 12/18/10 07:25 PM

Baby E was 7lb 14 oz, 21 inches long... I think his head was 14

Congratulations Jenna! I'm sorry that your delivery was so difficult. I hope you have a quick healing process and get some sleep soon. I understand not wanting to look at your incision. I didn't look at my stitches for about 5 days because I was afraid I was going to be traumatized and that it would look totally different from how it used to look.

Our babies were very close to the same size! Mine was 2 ounces less and 0.5 inches shorter. Her head was also 14".