Colleenz
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Jun 25, 2011 6:31:10 GMT -5
Post by Colleenz on Jun 25, 2011 6:31:10 GMT -5
I stopped when someone mentioned suicide. If anyone (or their spouse) feels like they are going to hurt themselves or someone else they NEED to see a mental health professional. Just like we would tell someone whom posts they are having chest pains that they NEED to see a doctor. These should be non-negotiable situations.
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Colleenz
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Jun 25, 2011 6:32:41 GMT -5
Post by Colleenz on Jun 25, 2011 6:32:41 GMT -5
I truly hope it was a joke, but suicide is not a joking matter. I would have happily posted and played along were it not for that comment.
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Jun 25, 2011 7:20:54 GMT -5
Post by commentator on Jun 25, 2011 7:20:54 GMT -5
I find that to be disturbing. why on earth would anyone save a thread that wasn't started by them? Tthere are a number of valid reasons. See the PM I send you.
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Jun 25, 2011 7:28:33 GMT -5
Post by commentator on Jun 25, 2011 7:28:33 GMT -5
Deleted - duplicate.
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Deleted
Joined: May 14, 2024 22:31:07 GMT -5
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Jun 25, 2011 7:47:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2011 7:47:38 GMT -5
Maybe it is time to let this thread die as well?
I think Moon took the right action on the other, and this one would do well to fall off the bottom of the page.
Dark and Loop have some stuff they need to work out at home, but then I think we'd all agree that we want to make it easy for them to come back to these boards when they are ready. An ongoing postmortem may delay that further.
That's my $0.02 anyway. I shall now go comment on other threads to do my part to shuffle this one on down the line.
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Jun 25, 2011 10:59:03 GMT -5
Post by isabella on Jun 25, 2011 10:59:03 GMT -5
lonewolf ...... I saved the whole thread, but would probably get banned if I offered to sell copies.
I may be interested in reading ... do you have P.O. Box I can contact you? Does it come with a money back guarantee if I'm not satisfied? any bonus products if I buy today?
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Jun 25, 2011 11:19:04 GMT -5
Post by isabella on Jun 25, 2011 11:19:04 GMT -5
ummm ... what is so disturbing about saving a thread (even if it was saved, poster said she was kidding and do believe she was joking about the offer to sell)
what is really disturbing and I was not around to read the original thread, from what it sounds like .... that two mature adults supposedly married would put their marital battles (whatever they were) on a public message board to battle out. They made the issue public, put the 'disturbing' blame where it belongs, on the couple that started the thread.
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zibazinski
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Jun 25, 2011 11:46:20 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2011 11:46:20 GMT -5
I have an issue with someone being told to get a job threatening suicide if she has to. Unreal.
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Jun 25, 2011 12:09:02 GMT -5
Post by isabella on Jun 25, 2011 12:09:02 GMT -5
just wow Zibazinski .. threatening suicide if she has to get a job?
I hope there are not young children in this household to witness parents/adults misguided behavior, if so I hope the couple has enough sense to get children out of their abusive and toxic household.
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zibazinski
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Jun 25, 2011 12:11:15 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2011 12:11:15 GMT -5
There are young children and I hope things have calmed down. There has been stress on both sides and a bid for money from a family member just triggered a huge outpouring of a alot of emotions. It was bad for MOST of us because we love them both and both were angry and hurting. What we want to know is if they are alright.
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Jun 25, 2011 12:23:16 GMT -5
what is really disturbing and I was not around to read the original thread, from what it sounds like .... that two mature adults supposedly married would put their marital battles (whatever they were) on a public message board to battle out. They made the issue public, put the 'disturbing' blame where it belongs, on the couple that started the thread. to be fair to dark and loop (both of whom I like though I know neither well), that was not the subject of the thread. it simply degenerated...
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8 Bit WWBG
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Jun 25, 2011 12:32:50 GMT -5
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 25, 2011 12:32:50 GMT -5
Remember how earlier in the thread, Loop said that Dark always wins arguments by wearing her down -- because she gets frustrated and angry and eventually would rather back down than continue? Her words were something like "you don't win on the merit of your arguments, but on the anger of mine".
Thats pretty much what happened. As much fun as the thread was to watch, and even if they are just putting on a show, and even if many of their points had merit, it took a real serious dive at the end, and it was time to save them from themselves.
It was clearly a long standing, deep-seeded argument that was not going to be resolved in a thread. Both their issues, as you saw, lingered for years.
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Gardening Grandma
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Jun 25, 2011 12:44:30 GMT -5
Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 25, 2011 12:44:30 GMT -5
I have an issue with someone being told to get a job threatening suicide if she has to. Unreal.
The thread was deleted before I got to that part.... That is very disturbing.
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taz157
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Jun 25, 2011 12:47:40 GMT -5
Post by taz157 on Jun 25, 2011 12:47:40 GMT -5
As much fun as the thread was to watch, and even if they are just putting on a show, and even if many of their points had merit, it took a real serious dive at the end, and it was time to save them from themselves. It was clearly a long standing, deep-seeded argument that was not going to be resolved in a thread. Both their issues, as you saw, lingered for years. I was able to read 23 of the 24 pages before it was deleted. The 1st day, it didn't seem so bad. However on the 2nd day, it took a turn for the worse. I really hope both of them are alright and that they have a serious discussion between them, without their DDs present, to work on it. If it wasn't a joke, then I would strongly suggest marital counseling.
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midjd
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Jun 25, 2011 12:48:39 GMT -5
Post by midjd on Jun 25, 2011 12:48:39 GMT -5
To clarify a bit... she wasn't threatening suicide because Dark told her to get a job, she just said the "subject" made her suicidal. And from Dark's post it sounded as though this was a cycle that repeats itself every 3-4 years - he gets mad, she gets upset, he represses it, and it goes away for a while. I do hope they get the help they need, I don't think it is an un-fixable problem in any way... they just need a better way to communicate.
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Gardening Grandma
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Jun 25, 2011 13:02:47 GMT -5
Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 25, 2011 13:02:47 GMT -5
they just need a better way to communicate.
I could not agree more. What really bothered me about the situation is Loop's vulnerability - along with her apparent blindness to it.
I have a number of friends/acquaintances in their 50's and 60's who have never worked outside the home. One, recently widowed, lost her health insurance along with her husband. She has no job, no work history and no health insurance and she's too young for Medicare.
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zibazinski
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Jun 25, 2011 13:13:05 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2011 13:13:05 GMT -5
That' s the thing that freaked me out. She got a SL and went to college for a degree in English but then stayed home and continued to be a SAHM. Why spend money you didn't have on something you aren't going to use? I would NEVER be dependent on ANY man now because you are one man away from welfare. Regardless of how she feels about working, and she is not into that idea at all it seems, she is in a very vulnerable position and needs to get herself taken care of. No one is too important to work.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 25, 2011 16:24:55 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 25, 2011 16:24:55 GMT -5
Uh... the other thread is gone so I guess we'll post this here. Loop and I are fine. We have a ton of stuff to do this weekend to get ready for her whole family to be here for the fourth. We'll have time to talk after that, but by then everything will be back to normal anyway.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 25, 2011 16:26:33 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 25, 2011 16:26:33 GMT -5
Moon, if my marriage issues are that big a deal just ban me now, because I can't promise they won't affect my posts. Either deal with it or ban me, because I'm human and it's going to happen.
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zibazinski
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Jun 25, 2011 16:36:46 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2011 16:36:46 GMT -5
We are all just glad the two of you are okay for now. Thanks for posting.
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Jun 25, 2011 16:47:27 GMT -5
Post by isabella on Jun 25, 2011 16:47:27 GMT -5
OK??? back to normal after company leaves? What's normal in that house, seriously. There are small children witnessing the adults in the house threatening suicide, conflict-blow ups, conflicts that get swept under the rug until they resurface another day? JUST WOW!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 25, 2011 16:52:07 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 25, 2011 16:52:07 GMT -5
Judge our marriage however you want. We've been married 11 years and including the last couple days have had about three fights.
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maraqxa
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Jun 25, 2011 17:00:48 GMT -5
Post by maraqxa on Jun 25, 2011 17:00:48 GMT -5
OK??? back to normal after company leaves? What's normal in that house, seriously. There are small children witnessing the adults in the house threatening suicide, conflict-blow ups, conflicts that get swept under the rug until they resurface another day? JUST WOW! Judge much???
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moon/Laura
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Jun 25, 2011 17:02:30 GMT -5
Post by moon/Laura on Jun 25, 2011 17:02:30 GMT -5
dark, it's one thing to discuss things you and loop don't agree on. but it is very much another to say the low down dirty mean things you two said to each other, here, in public. we don't need to hear it. we don't WANT to hear it.. and if it gets to the point that that's what you're going to devolve into, it's time for both of you to step away from the keyboard, so to speak.
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maraqxa
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Jun 25, 2011 17:06:14 GMT -5
Post by maraqxa on Jun 25, 2011 17:06:14 GMT -5
dark, it's one thing to discuss things you and loop don't agree on. but it is very much another to say the low down dirty mean things you two said to each other, here, in public. we don't need to hear it. we don't WANT to hear it.. and if it gets to the point that that's what you're going to devolve into, it's time for both of you to step away from the keyboard, so to speak. See this is what doesn't make sense to me. It is ok for a poster to say the worst things about their family/partner, but not ok for a couple to have a discussion with each other? At least both are aware.
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moon/Laura
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Jun 25, 2011 17:10:24 GMT -5
Post by moon/Laura on Jun 25, 2011 17:10:24 GMT -5
this was not a discussion.. this was way past that, and it had NO business being on a public forum of any kind. it would be the equivalent of asking your neighbors to come over and watch you yell and scream at each other. who wants to be a part of that?
the things that were said for all of us to witness were things that should have been put in a private IM session, or email.. or something... but not here.
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bring in the new year
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Jun 25, 2011 17:52:09 GMT -5
Post by bring in the new year on Jun 25, 2011 17:52:09 GMT -5
Maybe to bring this back around to money, anyone willing to throw out the rules they have about fighting with their spouse/partner about money?
Since I'm single, I only have to be either very mean or very whiney with myself (sometimes I'm very, very disappointed). But I'm sure that some of you who are married actually have useful rules you use when you fight about money.
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maraqxa
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Jun 25, 2011 17:56:29 GMT -5
Post by maraqxa on Jun 25, 2011 17:56:29 GMT -5
Maybe to bring this back around to money, anyone willing to throw out the rules they have about fighting with their spouse/partner about money? Since I'm single, I only have to be either very mean or very whiney with myself (sometimes I'm very, very disappointed). But I'm sure that some of you who are married actually have useful rules you use when you fight about money. No rules here. We used to have fights but then made one rule "As long as we are saving the agreed % of income then everything else is fair game".
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Miss Tequila
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Jun 25, 2011 18:03:28 GMT -5
Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 25, 2011 18:03:28 GMT -5
Judge our marriage however you want. We've been married 11 years and including the last couple days have had about three fights. Dark, I am not judging your marriage but from the things you posted it sounds like you don't fight because you repress your feelings for years at a clip...it's not until you reach a boiling point that things blow up....that's not healthy for either of you. You each have deep resentment towards the other and you need to resolve it, not repress it until the next blow up...
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Miss Tequila
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Jun 25, 2011 18:04:27 GMT -5
Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 25, 2011 18:04:27 GMT -5
Maybe to bring this back around to money, anyone willing to throw out the rules they have about fighting with their spouse/partner about money? Since I'm single, I only have to be either very mean or very whiney with myself (sometimes I'm very, very disappointed). But I'm sure that some of you who are married actually have useful rules you use when you fight about money. I don't fight about money with my spouse...all fights stops years ago when we decided to have separate finances...we rarely fight now
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