gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 6, 2014 10:28:34 GMT -5
After years of working from home, I'll be going back to the office next year. Before kids, I spent a lot of money and time on clothes. I liked to go 6 months before wearing the same outfit again- if I ever wore it again. I don't have time, energy or money for that anymore. I really want a super basic work wardrobe. Preferably nothing that needs dry cleaning or ironing. I worked at a theme park from 16-21 years old. I didn't mind wearing a uniform. It was easy.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 5, 2014 16:17:11 GMT -5
My understanding is that you never want the benificiary of your 401K to be the trust or estate. That's weird because my lawyer absolutely said it was best to change the beneficiary of our 401(k)s and IRAs to "my estate" so that it will come into our executor’s hands and passed under the Will. The will should spell out who gets what.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 5, 2014 11:00:14 GMT -5
I'm totally confused by the prepayment as well. Early this year, I called the hospital to set up a "just in case induction." They told me I had to pay $900. Instead of giving them my credit card number over the phone, I said I would pay when I get there. I have an expensive comprehensive plan and I wasn't required to pay up front in 2011 when I had my baby at the same hospital with the same comprehensive plan. I didn't pay when I got there, I was too busy ripping my clothes off before the baby fell out of me. So, they sent me the bill. I feel a lot more comfortable paying charges when I see the bill. They would have charged me for 2 nights and I only stayed one night had I paid upfront. And, what if I didn't make it to the hospital at all and had my baby at home.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 4, 2014 16:24:48 GMT -5
I don't know, maybe because there are several published book written about how diet can improve behaviors caused by Autism. Jenny McCarthy convinced a lot of people she cured her son's autism with diet and probiotics, you know- after the vaccinations caused it. A lot has been said since then about how he never really had autism, but changing diet may still give hope to people.
Maybe the doctor who provided the diagnosis made some suggestions, so she's embracing them. I could totally see how an autism diagnosis could change everything from what you eat, to what you clean with and store in your house, to what you wear, to the activities you fill your day with and maybe even what you wear.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 4, 2014 16:13:39 GMT -5
I think your ideas and causes are great and it's very generous of you to think about the needs of others. I know your cost of living is low right now, but keep in mind there may be other wants that might become needs later on. My grandma lived alone the last several decades of her life until she died at 91. Like you, she was very frugal. She worked a cologne counter in a mall department store and loved it. She and the other ladies became good friends and it got her out of the house. But, she refused to get a cleaning service at home thinking she was fully capable. She fell off a stool dusting the top of her drapes and broke her hip at 79. She never quite recovered from that surgery and had to retire. She was very lonely after that and her health further declined. She also worked at the baseball diamond during baseball season and became good friends with her co-workers.
While your causes are very noble, I really don't think it's going to solve the core of your issue- finding a good use of your time with people to bond with while helping a good cause. I agree that babies and toddlers might not be your niche, but there are still a lot of children between the ages of 5 and 18. Junior Achievement might be up your alley, though it's not specific to foster kids. Just a way to help kids learn about balancing checkbooks, economics, finances, etc. The curricula is all written, they just need people to teach it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 3, 2014 10:12:09 GMT -5
Any issues I've ever had have been my own error, like when I sent $456 to At&t instead of 45.60. Fortunately, I had the money in my account and just kept the credit rather than fighting to get it back. I didn't have to pay my cell phone bill for 10 months. Or when I sent $1500 to a closed citi card account instead of the active one. Citi was unfortunately not very easy to work with, but my bank was great. No fees have ever resulted from my errors. I've been using online bill pay since it started, but I don't set up automatic payment. I manually enter the amount and date I want to pay every month.
Never had an issue with deposits, but I use the ATM to deposit checks.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 20:50:08 GMT -5
This is my inlaws. They are not thrilled about accepting an offer with a 120 day contingency, but 8 months on the market and 2 reductions later- they're taking it and hoping it works out. I hope it does, too because if January comes and goes and the buyer falls through because their house doesn't sell, back to square one for my in laws. I agree that the house is probably overpriced, but houses are harder to sell in November and December. It isn't an appealing time to move. Being pushed off until spring might be a blessing in disguise. No doubt it was overpriced at $325K, but like I said- they were naive thinking they could build in the price of their improvements, additions and inflation. Now, at $98 per square foot, it's competitively priced. It's a pretty nice home on a 1.5 acre lot. With the new price, the neighbors are worried that their home values are going to suffer. We actually have a rental in the same neighborhood.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 16:46:42 GMT -5
We sold every house we had pretty quickly. The only one was the last one we sold, it took longer then we thought.
No I would never take a contract contingent on sale, I've turned down a lot of those. what if your house had been on the market for 6 months and the one and only offer you got was contingent on the buyer's selling their house? This is my inlaws. They are not thrilled about accepting an offer with a 120 day contingency, but 8 months on the market and 2 reductions later- they're taking it and hoping it works out. I hope it does, too because if January comes and goes and the buyer falls through because their house doesn't sell, back to square one for my in laws.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 10:31:12 GMT -5
You'll probably be fine. In the anecdotal case of my in laws, they just didn't anticipate their place being on the market so long and the continued reductions. Their place isn't that old and they are the original owner. Financially they could carry it and have even offered seller financing.
Prior to building their new home, they haven't had a mortgage in 10+ years. So, now they have a mortgage, plus the taxes, insurance and upkeep on their old property. They thought their old property would sell fast and they could immediately use that money to pay off their new home and maintain their low overhead. They've now had a mortgage for over a year and are stressed out about it- but can't pay it off until their old home sells. Also, as with buying any new home, they've had to buy new furniture and stuff for it= more expenses and they are just not used to hemorrhaging so much money/month.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 9:47:12 GMT -5
It might go great for you. The market in my area has not been easy since 2008 unless you list your price really, really low and your place has all the latest and greatest updates. That's not the case with every market. Crunch your numbers and make sure you'd be fine covering real estate taxes, insurance, lawn maintenance and time for trips back and forth to keep it up. My inlaw's riding lawn mower was also stolen since the place was vacant. There was no way they would have anticipated that. So, that made it even harder for them to keep up with maintenance. The additions and improvements they made they thought they would be able to recoop in the sales price. They were wrong.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 9:15:42 GMT -5
A home has come up that we are very interested in. We may just buy it, move in and then really spruce up our home and list it. I find that much less stressful and having the time to really spruce up our current home might pay off. But, there always the fear of the unknown like some big stock market crash. However, our current home is paid off and no mortgage so if worse came to worse, we could rent it. This was my inlaws as well. They thought it would be no big deal because their previous home was paid off. They've spent almost a year now of energy and money "sprucing" it up. And, still had to reduce the price significantly to finally be done with it. And, they still aren't done with it because the contract they have has a 120 day contingency for the buyer to sell their current home. They've found managing two properties to be a huge burden and expense. But, it might be easier for you.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 8:57:07 GMT -5
We've rented out 3 previous residences at this point. Renters have always moved in the weekend we move out.
When I was a kid, my parents would just move us all into an apartment and store the excess furniture until they closed or finished building. I thought it worked fine because it was summer and there was always a pool, but does mean moving twice.
But, yes- you could have a contingency. My inlaws moved into their new house 8 months ago and still haven't sold their old house. It's been very stressful for them. They dropped the sells price from $325K to $265K and finally have an offer, but with a contingency on the sell of the buyer's current residence. So, it's a risk that could be more stressful then just selling, moving into temporary housing and then buying.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 2, 2014 8:42:05 GMT -5
In my area, there are so many activities leading up to Halloween- trunk or treats, fall festivals, pumpkin patches, Halloween parties, school stuff, etc. and candy is at all of them. She was in a costume at least once every week almost the entire month of October. By Halloween, my 3 year old just wasn't into it. She said "I have enough candy." After we got our first two trick or treaters, she decided she would put on her costume on and go- but it took a lot of encouragement. I'm thinking about packaging up the candy and sending it to the troops.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 1, 2014 14:15:41 GMT -5
Haha, we only had 12 kids, too! Lots of left overs here, not sure why? We in the past had so many more, are new parents not taking kids trick or treating? My kids are still really little (6 mo old & 3 years old), but I'm starting to suspect it. There are 1200 homes in my extremely safe, suburban neighborhood. At least 2 kids in every house. We're talking thousands of kids. There are well-lit sidewalks, wide roads, and cars parked in garages or driveways instead of the streets. My street has 35 homes and only 4 houses with porch lights out, everyone else had at least one parent home handing out candy. I have no idea where all the kids were.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 1, 2014 13:15:25 GMT -5
Got a 30 pack of full size twix, m&m's, snickers and milky way, a 12 pack of full size sour patch kids and then a fun size bag of nestlies crunch "just in case." We only had 12 trick or treaters. We gave one to each, but I guess we should have given 2 to each.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 30, 2014 13:59:38 GMT -5
I max it out and don't touch it. The HSA is part of my early retirement plan. The IRS rule 72T allows you to retire from your company at 55 and- assuming you don't work anywhere else and are really retired, begin taking distributions from your 401(k)- the one sponsored by the company you retired from. I would also be eligible to retire from my company by 55, but they don't offer a health insurance package other than we can stay on their insurance but without any contributions from the company. So, if I'm responsible for the full premium, it will be super expensive. If I'm lucky, there will be okay options via ACA, but unlikely. So, having a huge balance in my HSA will hopefully help me pay the premiums until medicare, then I can use it to continue to pay (hopefully more reasonable) medicare premiums and actually enjoy my retirement while maintaining my health.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 30, 2014 12:29:03 GMT -5
Also, just because you "can" contribute that much, doesn't mean you have to. Heck, I think it would be cool if you could put your entire salary in retirement accounts and they should remove the limitation all together, but that will never happen because the government needs its taxes and the economy needs us spending. On second thought, I suppose you could- it would just be after tax contributions.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 30, 2014 12:26:26 GMT -5
I don't think this community is a good example of how society contributes to retirement accounts. 2girlsdad has got to be making almost 200K/year between salary and commission for the 12% 45K employer contribution. Most people don't make anywhere near 200K/year.
I didn't see the other poster's comment, but I disagree because it will take "millions" if your goal is to retire around 60 and live another 40+ years. There are plenty of grandfathered government pension plans that shell out 100k/year. That equals $3mm value for 30 years. Now it's personal responsibility to invest enough to replace the pension system.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 30, 2014 9:55:42 GMT -5
We can buy up to 40 hours of vacation, but I never have. It's up to manager discretion to approve it. My company has always been "use it or lose it" by the end of the year when it comes to both vacation and sick time. No buy back, no pay out, no carry over. We get 10 sick days/year and I've only used 1 in 14 years. For many years, I poorly planned vacation and would leave a week on the table, which meant I worked for free. I don't do that anymore. Now, in January, I try to go ahead and add my vacation days to my personal and work calendars and plan accordingly. It's nice to have something to look forward to even if it's just a "staycation." I never understood the woman in the next office because she spend the last year going on and on about how she couldn't wait to retire and how much she was frustrated/annoyed by her job, and all the great things she'd do after retirement, etc. And yet that woman was forced to take the last 2 weeks of the year off *every year* because she always had so much accrued unused vacation time she'd lose it (and we allow a lot to be accrued). It seemed really ironic to me! Yeah, not smart. I'm glad I resolved it by the time I was 30. In my defense, I did not make a lot of money and was trying to climb the corporate ladder. There are always a few people who plan poorly and beg to carry it over- even when they already have 2 weeks at the end of the year. These people do make good money and are not young and stupid. The best I'll do is allow them to take it by the second week of January and then to coach them to plan better. I don't require people to send me their days at the beginning of the year, but I'm tempted. At least I never put my managers in the awkward position of how to handle my poor vacation planning.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 30, 2014 9:33:19 GMT -5
We can buy up to 40 hours of vacation, but I never have. It's up to manager discretion to approve it.
My company has always been "use it or lose it" by the end of the year when it comes to both vacation and sick time. No buy back, no pay out, no carry over. We get 10 sick days/year and I've only used 1 in 14 years. For many years, I poorly planned vacation and would leave a week on the table, which meant I worked for free. I don't do that anymore. Now, in January, I try to go ahead and add my vacation days to my personal and work calendars and plan accordingly. It's nice to have something to look forward to even if it's just a "staycation."
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 29, 2014 13:24:07 GMT -5
Count me among the folks who don't rush out to replace something that is still working. But when it does break- I will do my research to replace it with a quality product and not just the cheapest thing available. Unless the temperatures were extreme, I would be just fine without heat and air. Our 17 year old HVAC broke again and it was going to be $2000 to repair. We went ahead and shelled out the 15K for a new one, but it broke down 4 times and we went without for about a month.
Heck, I lost my cell phone 6 months ago and have yet to buy a new one. No biggie. Not everyone freaks out if something breaks or gets lost. As I get older, the less I care and the more stuff I realize I can do without.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 29, 2014 10:44:37 GMT -5
If it were me, I'd take a step back and let them work it out. Try to be encouraging and positive about whatever AIL has planned. Perhaps they will enjoy themselves and create a new memory. Sibling relationships are complicated and it's just best to stay out of the middle of it. They have known each other a whole lifetime. And for future interactions, being agreeable takes a lot less energy. If they say, "my mom or my sister is giving up on life". Just say nothing or agree and ask if they will visit her before it's too late.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 28, 2014 13:08:53 GMT -5
I want a designer with good taste to decorate every room in my house. I don't want to be involved in the process, just wow me during the reveal, like one of those shows. I also want a master closet redesign, master bathroom redesign, mudroom redesign, better shelving in the garage, screen porch, patio and landscaping. I don't care about travel right now or driving around my 1998 beater. I just want my home to be outstanding. Maybe I've been watching too much "Love it or List it."
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 27, 2014 10:06:00 GMT -5
You said in your original post that you're "going crazy" right now with 4 classes and a full-time job. You only have one course left to take next semester for your MBA. If it were me, I'd take the last class, get an A in it and be done with it. Take another class in the future when you don't feel so much degree pressure.
For what it's worth as a manager, having an additional class or 2 on the resume does not impress me at all. I need to see practical application and experience, not more college electives. If somebody wanted to sign up for a class while working for me that could provide value to the job, then I'd want to see them apply their learnings to the job. I will give them projects and software, if applicable to practice what they learned. This can happen at any time, not just during a degree. So, focus on getting your last class for your MBA and sitting for the CPA. After that's all said and done, you're settled in a new job, and you're itching for course work again, then seek out the elective courses that will help you grow.
The reason I am this way is because too many times during interviews I would question an applicant about a course or a technology on their resume and they couldn't remember anything about it. The great applicants could speak expertly about it, how they used it in their jobs and how they could use it in the job I'm hiring for. Those were the rare gems.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 26, 2014 21:36:47 GMT -5
Well it isn't a friend's responsibility to build yours or anyone else's confidence. A person says they're a professional mom and somehow there's a backhanded insult in that? No different than a SAHP or SAHS saying they're the CEO of the Smith family. Should CEO's of actual corporations start looking for inference that somehow those "family CEO's" are implying they hold a more vital job than running a corporation? Why waste the emotional energy to take something in that is so meaningless to your life (your being the general population, not you specifically)? I'm assuming this friend didn't call Swamp unprofessional or dig at her being a lawyer. Like Goldengirl relayed it probably was some self-deprecating humor. Most people do it to some regard in areas of their life they lack confidence in or are uncomfortable with.
Here's an example where I say I see women as being too sensitive and I don't know, maybe just so biologically different than men. A friend buried their 14 month old daughter about 6 months ago. They now have a 2 month old daughter. A store clerk asked if the two month old is their first. Wife says no, we have a daughter in heaven. The clerk replies "I'm sorry, that must be hard for you." The wife chooses to be insulted that this clerk, who they knew all of fifteen seconds, was implying that the wife must be struggling and unable to deal with burying a child. The husband took the comment in as nothing more than the clerk acknowledging that the wife said they buried a child. No insult, no inference, no nothing else. The wife was worked up for days over it and why, what did that do for her?
Are you seriously criticizing a woman who lost a baby 6 months ago and is currently 2 months postpartum for being too sensitive? I just. Wow. Yeah, I tend to agree that woman can be a little too sensitive, but that one is really not a good example.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 26, 2014 16:37:43 GMT -5
It sounds like you're doing great to me. I am 35 and not single but was before about 3 years ago. When I was single- I had roommates and kept my belt as tight as possible (well, not too tight, I had a lot of fun and spent way too much money going out and looking good!). I have about $260K in retirement and another 100K in brokerage. It would be higher if I had managed to land a better than 23K/year job out of college, but my pathetic salary at least taught me how to live well on a shoe-string budget.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 26, 2014 16:24:42 GMT -5
Yeah, we've had our hands full with repairs for the N. San Diego County (Oceanside) house. I think we've dropped close to 10k this year into it. Fortunately I was (finally!) able to raise the rent significantly but from an income point of view we seem to only be treading water. Because we always lived or intended to live in our properties they were never purchased as income properties so that's not really a surprise. But we did think after 10 years of owning this property we would have had some appreciation. Whoops!
I'll also add that while the stock market and the real estate market aren't directly linked, as equities they do tend to correlate. Basically if the economy tanks, all equity boats drop.
I hear you, I bought my first house in 2004 for $165K. At its peak, it was $205K and now 10 years later, I'd be lucky if I got $150K for it. I built a patio, closed in the backyard fence, tiled/updated the 3 bathrooms, updated all the fixtures & hardware, etc. Everything else still looks great since the floor is real hardwood and the place was built in 1998. Several new stores/restuarants have opened nearby and a really nice grocery store, but still, it doesn't appreciate. There is no crime either. I just don't get it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 26, 2014 15:01:26 GMT -5
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is not judging other parents. The comment wouldn't have bothered me. My neighbor's youngest just went off to kindergarten. She was super excited, but instead of asking her what she's going to do with all her "free" time, I just sincerely said "congratulations, you earned it". I probably would have told this woman, "congratulations on your new position" and chose not to be offended.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 24, 2014 19:15:54 GMT -5
If so, it's at least 33 or higher, because I still tax the kids when they get home with their bag of treats. Last year we used it to explain the concept of progressive taxes. The tax rates were; 0-8 pieces 0% tax 9-36 pieces 15% tax 36-87 pieces 25% tax 88+ pieces 35% tax They were not amused. We did our first trick or treat night of the season tonight and I really want to do this!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 24, 2014 14:38:58 GMT -5
I don't have any advice. I wish I could put my inlaws on a schedule, but they totally resist it. They live one hour away and prefer to pop over whenever it's convenient for them, which is normally when it's not very convenient for us. The stores like Costco and Hobby Lobby are all right down the street from me and they will want to make a run every week or two since they live in the middle of nowhere. They like to pop-over right about when I'm trying to get the baby and toddler to bed or at dinner time and we have to figure out 2 extra plates at the last minute. When I had my first, they ranted about how their other son requires 3 days notice for them to visit and how I better not do that to them. Their whole family has complained to me- including their own siblings (my husband's uncles/aunts) and other grown children, how much they hate it when they show up unannounced. So, I'll politely ask, how about we start a routine, like getting together the first Saturday or Sunday of every month- we can rotate whose house, that way 3 months won't go by without seeing each other. Nope, not interested. It's either feast or famine with them depending on what they have going on. They also don't pay much attention to their grandchildren preferring to talk to us. My husband has gotten better about sitting down with them so it's not all me dropping everything to hang out. Like, you- that drove me nuts. My MIL never asks anything about me or what's going on in my life and prefers to be the one doing the talking. So, I just listen and respond appropriately- asking about their latest trips, house updates, family updates, vehicles and health. She told my 3 year old that "one day, you'll get to go to the aquarium." I said, oh we've been to the aquarium and she got all curious and said I never told her that. I said I did (and then in my head- you just don't listen). You should have seen her face when I told her we stayed with her brother. She was shocked, convinced that he never allowed anyone to visit. No, he just doesn't like them to visit because they don't call in advance and instead have shown up unannounced on his doorstep. Oh, how I would have loved to have told it to her straight. I've diplomatically discussed it, but they feel they are "free-spirits" and since they are retired should get to come and go as they please. If I try to set a date to visit them at their house, it never, ever works out. They always cancel. They just plain refuse to plan. My experience with them is when I realized adults don't listen or cooperate any better than children. Maybe this is their way of pay backs for raising 5 children. My parents live in Florida, so we only see them twice a year. I have different issues with them, but they are far more reasonable and cooperative with requests.
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