debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 5, 2024 10:29:27 GMT -5
TheOtherMe yes I can but the risk is that I'll eventually be considered less "relevant" ... I'll probably take that risk at this point.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 4, 2024 16:19:38 GMT -5
Name | Goal | Saved | Spent | General Savings | 10,000 | 2,500 | 0 | Travel | 3,500 | 0 | 0 | Garden | 750 | 500+250 | 750 | Miscellaneous | 750 | 750 | 750 | Rug | 300 | 0 | 0 | TOTAL | 15,300 | 4,000 | 1,500 |
Debthaven: 5 Mar 2024: 4,000 euros (Total savings goal: 15,300)
I completely forgot that we still owed for the garden clean-up! My hours increased. I wanted more hours, but not this many. My April to July paychecks should be good. I want to save as much as possible so I can reduce my hours again in fall. This semester is "my last hurrah."
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 4, 2024 15:51:44 GMT -5
Yikes seriousthistime ! I hope it gets straightened out quickly when you get home and that you get good news when you do your taxes.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 4, 2024 14:08:26 GMT -5
TheOtherMe any chance she could come one more time? I'd definitely try the new person! Having someone was such a big help to you! Well I wanted more hours, and I got them LOL. Five hours on Zoom today (so I have a headache), and six next Monday. I have three additional (long) half-days through early April, mostly at Job 2. I will be VERY busy till then. I hate how it's always feast or famine. I'm not happy with so many extra hours. Yes I wanted some, but not this many. Since I'm doing more hours than planned, I'll probably give up any regular classes after this semester.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 4, 2024 2:39:14 GMT -5
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 1, 2024 20:45:47 GMT -5
Your mother sounds AMAZING Rukh O'Rorke ! Going back to assisted living at 100!!! We had some amazing news tonight ... DS1/DDIL/E/I are moving back to France! It has been in process but I didn't want to post until it was sure. They'll move at the end of the year. We were so surprised when they told us they were looking! I guess two former humanitarian aid workers don't stay in one place for long. They're NOT moving to Paris. They'll be a 5.5h drive from us, and 1h from DD. Longer for us than taking the Eurostar to London, but shorter than driving there.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 1, 2024 13:33:24 GMT -5
Yikes Nikiz! Fingers crossed and good for you for being so quick!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 1, 2024 11:35:50 GMT -5
Why no hot water startsmart ? That's hard, especially in winter.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 29, 2024 5:00:04 GMT -5
Nice that the old table stays in the family finnime .
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 29, 2024 4:34:29 GMT -5
NastyWoman if you have a friend or neighbor connected to a nursery or primary school, they would probably be happy to take them.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 28, 2024 15:14:29 GMT -5
I caught up on laundry today. The cleaner came, but she'll be off again next week for her grandson's baptism (in another European country). I've been SO lazy these days! Lots of reading and Netflix. At 64, I don't feel too guilty lol. Work is finally ramping up! I'm doing 9/10 hours next week, and still going in just one day.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 26, 2024 16:02:51 GMT -5
Doing laundry and other chores Saturday so that I may enjoy my love of cooking and baking on Sunday is working out well.I am happy to hear this Iggy aka IG . So sorry about the handles startsmart . The new ones will be here soon!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 26, 2024 14:31:22 GMT -5
In the past - when he asked I would think he needed some money and I'd try to find something for him to do. But now I am not so flush with cash,I would just tell him that money is tight these days and you may contact him later in the year. I'm guessing he needs/wants the work so he'll probably leave you alone if none is forthcoming. I'd start there and hopefully it will resolve itself. It sounds like he just wants to earn some money and he ASSumed you'd continue to use him as much as you did before. But you need to be clear with him, so he doesn't think "later in the year" means next week or even next month... Great job on the doors startsmart ! You've worked hard! I'm working 4 hours this week. Things should finally ramp up next week!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 24, 2024 18:54:56 GMT -5
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 22, 2024 19:07:52 GMT -5
Hugs TheOtherMe . Would it help to take photos of it or scan it? DH is now losing HIS mind trying to deal with our health insurance for HIS dental work. BTDT! I'm giving DH advice but I won't take over (not that he's asked me to). They're also pulling the same crap with me again, but this time, it's for a 65E imaging fee! Ugh. They're happy to pay for doctors, but they DON'T want to pay for anything adjacent.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 22, 2024 18:41:14 GMT -5
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 22, 2024 18:16:56 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady I'm sorry, I know how debt averse you are. Remember that it needs doing, and new siding is an investment that will maintain and even increase the value of your home! Also, being able to pay half of a 46K bill in cash is no mean feat! You should be very proud of yourself.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 22, 2024 17:38:06 GMT -5
TheOtherMe not to pry, but I'm guessing you can pay it off in less than 12 months (so that you can go back again next year if you choose to)? We got the estimate for a new front door to match our new French doors/windows. At 3.2K euros ($3500), we decided our front door is just fine LOL! So I can reduce my savings goal. I'll have 3/4 more hours of of teaching/week as of March, so savings should pick up a bit. Fabulous job on the grocery bill Sunnyday !
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 22, 2024 9:20:33 GMT -5
lark1964 what about paying half off for now, and then waiting until you get the HELOC to decide about the rest? You're so close! ETA: How is your eye doing?
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 21, 2024 10:04:14 GMT -5
We got the estimate for a new front door ... 3.2K. We decided we like our existing front door just fine lol.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 22:12:53 GMT -5
You're overthinking this. Just calculate 50% and call it good.
And don't worry too much about your ex. Statistically, he's unlikely to be on his own for long.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 22:02:28 GMT -5
I didn't think that he would do what he did in the divorce settlement, but he did.
And there you go.
To me, you know everything you need to know about this person and how much you can trust them going forward.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 22:00:10 GMT -5
The word you're looking for is "executor".
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 21:49:56 GMT -5
But you're right, I need to revise every couple of years... Things change, people change.
You really do ... he may not "turn", but his GF/second wife may.
I believe that giving him a lump sum allows him the freedom to invest the money and let it grow, which will mean more money to take care of the children's needs until they reach adulthood.
*I* believe that that lump sum to be invested should be given to someone who ONLY has your children's interest at heart. And NOT to somebody who might need to access that money rather than invest it.
But I'm from NY and I was raised not to trust anyone LOL.
You say that "nothing else will go to him" ... yet you're giving him access to a LOT of money!
If he's above board, I don't see the problem with somebody else administering the access to that money.
Personally, if I were divorcing this person, I would NOT trust them with what I was giving to/leaving my kids. Because I wouldn't trust them.
Obviously it's your call, but I worry that you're being naive about it.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 20:00:04 GMT -5
I live in France ... the laws are probably closer to Canada's than the US's.
You NEED to do a will, but you know that.
I'm not sure why you're being so generous with your ex ... they're his kids too!!! Personally, I'd leave less to him, and more to your kids (but possibly later, as you say). Later can begin with college tuition.
You also need somebody who will look out ONLY for your kids ... not your ex, not his new GF or new wife or anyone with kids who might be interested in taking advantage of YOUR money.
We are sort of a blended family ... I had 3 kids when DH and I got together, then we had one together. My fourth kid is DH's first/only kid.
DH and I have a prenup. We went back to the lawyer several times to update our wills. When we first married, DS3 was very little. If something had happened to us, he would have gone to the UK to be raised by DH's cousin (who is like a brother to DH) and his wife. (Obviously we cleared that with them first!)
Suddenly DS3 was in MS, and we realized that per our wills, he'd still be shipped off to the UK if anything happened to us! By then my older kids were young adults, so we redid our wills to give DS1 and DS2 guardianship of DS3, and access to money to ensure that.
We redid our wills a third time when DS3 turned 18 and went off to college, knowing that he would be going to graduate school.
DS3 is now done with graduate school, and working. He's financially independent. We need to redo our wills yet again to reflect that. It's on my list LOL.
I know that these details don't apply to you ... my point is, this is NOT something that you can just "set and forget". It's GREAT that you're thinking of this, but IMO, you'll need to revisit this every few years until your children are older/adults/in college/in grad school/financially independent.
Having been through what you are going through, I think you are doing phenomenally well!!!
Best of luck to you!
PS I really do think you're being much too generous with your ex ... You want to ensure that YOUR money goes to your KIDS. I'm guessing your ex isn't worrying about this ... at all.
That's a good point that our lawyer brought up ... ideally, things like this should be reciprocal, unless there's a good reason for it not to be. Is your ex planning to do the same, if HE goes first?! (I'm guessing not, but I could be wrong!)
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 19:25:05 GMT -5
That is wonderful news that your eye is healing saveinla !!! I hope that you continue to heal well and that they don't need to scrape the cornea. I'm so glad you can go on vacation. I have scratched my corneas twice (decades apart) because of lenses, so I have an idea of how painful it can be. Both times I BEGGED my DH (my ex the first time) to PLEASE put me out of my misery. They both refused. In retrospect that was probably a good thing. It was BY FAR the worst pain I have ever experienced. I'm sending you good/healing thoughts.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 20, 2024 17:59:21 GMT -5
Well done finnime ! Your closet and dresser must look great! Lincoln is truly adorable startsmart . And wow at the number of views! Thinking of you saveinla .
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 19, 2024 18:38:55 GMT -5
Well done startsmart ! You're nearly done! Too cute about the puppy with green paint.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 19, 2024 16:45:14 GMT -5
Get the laundry done Saturday so I'm not spending Sunday worried about the timer and stairs or putting sheets back onto the bed Sunday evening when we should be relaxing.Iggy aka IG I really encourage you to get a second set of sheets. When I strip a bed (generally early in the day) I remake the bed immediately with the other set. It's SO much easier than having to do it late in the day or at night! Just a thought! We replaced our own bedding in the Jan sales. We got 30% off one set, and 40% off the other. With two sets, they wear out less. And you never have to replace both at the same time. (One set wore out. We LOVE the other set. It's 5 years old, so when I saw it was 40% off, we bought "for later".) Thinking of you saveinla and hoping for good news tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 19, 2024 16:01:38 GMT -5
I am on a mission to declutter ... unscented Ikea candles! When my friend's husband died over 8 years ago, she asked me to buy a 5 pack of Ikea candles for her. I bought one for myself, but only used one because I prefer scented candles. DH and I bought a bunch of scented candles last week, so I decided to burn the old ones to make room. Some of them burn for 40 hours! Three days later, I'm still working on the first one. Good thing I'm not working much this week.
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