suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 7, 2016 18:20:08 GMT -5
Yaaaaaa.... So bit of a back story here. I may have even mentioned it in a previous post. Our Goddaughter (I'll call her Molly) is a senior in HS this year. She has the opportunity to go to France this summer as a school Senior trip. Of course her parents just bought a business 9 months ago, so money is a little tight as they go through their first year and renovations. MrSroo and I have always told ourselves that we'd help Molly and her brother with some education related expenses, specifically school travel opportunities, random amounts for college, and greek org dues if they were interested in that. So anyway, we finally convinced Molly's mother to loosen the apron strings a little and we offered to help with the cost of the trip. We sent Molly's birthday card with a check for $2000 (Molly has to come up with $1500 and the grandparents are chipping in $1000, with mom and dad paying for anything left over). I just got this text: Sroo, thank you so much. Molly literally started crying this morning when she opened the card. She is signing up this morning for the trip. This makes me happy today That was so nice of you! You two are giving this young lady memories that will last a life time, and maybe the travel bug too.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 23:51:35 GMT -5
I am not a property manager. But if you don't want a dog and they got one, anyway, then evict them. You own the property, not them. While you do want to be nice, you get to make the rules. This isn't about the pit bull, which is apparently one of the most unappreciated breeds on earth next to cocker spaniels (my dog made me type that!). It is about renters who don't respect your rules. I imagine you have other rules as well.I agree that it isn't the breed so much as to how any animal is raised, but about the renters. I have two of the most loveable pits, but also know that they, like any dog is not the best choice for some people. I don't know how the insurance would work, but if it increases, I would tack that on to their rent, but then again it depends on the contract.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 21:34:38 GMT -5
Government has nothing to do with it. The people living and dancing in this building chose to live there and dance there. For the tenants, it was the only place they could afford, and it was affordable because it wasn't being kept up to code. For the partiers, it was the hottest venue to get the drugs, thrills, and entertainment they wanted. These places exist as a matter of necessity and demand. The risks of living in them are inherent. People who make of use of them knowingly accept these risks. Circumstance, risk, choice, consequence. Tragic but simple. The code office didn't respond to complaints about it. It was not permitted for residential use. If you have suffiently staffed and funded code enforcement they can respond to complaints, do inspections, and ensure codes are followed.
This is is one of those things that governed SHOULD do. I can't remember if it was ABC or CBS news tonight that interviewed a representative of the fire department and this is exactly what he said. They don't have the resources or the man power in do proper inspections and code enforcement is in the same position. their three young children were taken away from them by social service authorities for several months beginning last year.
This is another agency that is very underfunded.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 21:17:16 GMT -5
L made the mistake of answering his call today. He hung up when she refused to take him back. Apparently less than a week of therapy = enough time to change. Except if she did take him back, before Christmas she'd be right back where she is now. Beth, this is such a sad situation for all involved. I really hope that things work out for the best, but because there is so much going on, it may take years, which is sad. Many hugs to all.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 20:07:37 GMT -5
I liked your post but not because you would have to sell a kidney or something.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 19:44:25 GMT -5
Every.single.time. Even if I run over and drag her to the tile or hardwood she runs back to the carpet. That's when you pick them up, hold their feet together and hold them head down partially in a garbage can until they vomit. Bonus-the indignity of the treatment pisses them off and they avoid you the rest of the night. Ok, this made me laugh so much I was crying and my kids are asking me what is wrong.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 19:37:03 GMT -5
My ex did the "I'm going to kill myself move" a few times as a last ditch effort. I know you're supposed to take the threats seriously, and the sheriffs department and his family did, but I was like "yeah, whatever". Yep, BTDT, by I didn't call the police or tell his family and I did say "yeah, whatever". I was so done by that time and all I wanted was for him to leave and the kids alone. Not a very proud moment in my life, but at the time I really didn't care. He has said that to the kids several times when they were younger and my DD would call me hysterical that he would actually do it. After awhile she developed the same attitude. You can only cry wolf so many times.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 19:22:52 GMT -5
My baby boy is growing up (14). His ROTC instructor handed out razors to the boys in the class. He has peach fuzz that I have never noticed.
I have no idea how to teach him to shave, with my DDS, it was not a problem teaching them how to shave carefully, shaving his face, I'm lost.
Hopefully he will check out YouTube, because he does not want my help. Too late for your baby suesinfl , but when maybe a help for others. When my boys reached this stage xH was travelling almost constantly. And like you I had no clue on how to teach them how to shave. But since they are both very dark haired I did see it coming. So I had electric razors ready when their day came. No blades -> no blood. Can't say they did a great job the first few times, but it was just fuss so no big deal and they learned pretty quickly. Fun little fact -> they both have beards now after many years of being clean shaven That's funny they both have beards now. Thanks for giving me an idea for a Christmas present. I never thought about one.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 19:15:58 GMT -5
I'm so glad to hear that the babies are doing as well as can be expected. Best of luck to the new parents, I can't imagine how much/hard their lives are going to be for a few years. My oldest DD has twin girls that thankfully have no health issues, but she is constantly on her toes. Can I just tell you that they had no idea either We babysat the boy while the parents went to pick up his sisters. I think because SIL's Father only speaks Chinese and BIL wanted someone who spoke English just in case. Who cares. I am in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are the most adorable little tiny beings ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shit you not, they weigh less (combined) than the 2 cats I have. I know this because I had to take them (cats) to the vet on Friday. Fat little hippos. Babies are about 4 pounds each. Cats are definitely more than that. We are going back sometime this week, and may take MIL, maybe. Can't wait. I do need to have SIL send me the picture she took of 2 of the babies sleeping on me. Baby A and Baby C and I all love each other. Baby B had no interest in waking up whatsoever. And no, no babies for me. I have no problem adoring them and giving them back. Plus I think BIL is very happy with us as we are apparently the only ones that have given a crap since the babies have been born. I chalk it up to the fact that he and DH are twins and these babies are a special bond. We don't have kids because of DH's MS but we will be there for these babies when they need us. OMG they are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have to figure out how to post my pictures. Sorry. I love your excitement, it makes me smile. You are going to be a great aunt. Congratulations
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 6, 2016 18:20:33 GMT -5
No plans here. Oldest DD will be with her in-laws, DD2 will be working and DS will be just hanging out with his friends if they are around or chilling in his room.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 22:47:38 GMT -5
Never seen a ghost. But after our 12 yo son died we had experiences with a butterfly hanging around us and felt his presence. Many times while I ran on a trail a butterfly would follow me. I'm so sorry, Ken. I can't even imagine the heartache involved. My mom loved butterflies, she said that they were a way to show us that life is beautiful.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 20:11:54 GMT -5
My baby boy is growing up (14). His ROTC instructor handed out razors to the boys in the class. He has peach fuzz that I have never noticed.
I have no idea how to teach him to shave, with my DDS, it was not a problem teaching them how to shave carefully, shaving his face, I'm lost.
Hopefully he will check out YouTube, because he does not want my help.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 19:53:42 GMT -5
There are times that I am very glad that I'm not close to my extended family. Although I only have two sisters left, and we are on good terms, but have never spent any time together during the holidays.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 19:45:56 GMT -5
If I did not know that you have a medical background, I would have some doubts about you.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 18:39:04 GMT -5
Shortly after my second MIL passed away, I was in the storage area at work and I distinctly her call my nickname that she gave me and no one else never used. She also had a very distinct voice/accent.
Then a year later my DS was born and had some minor issues and my BIL (who had lived with her, favorite child, but had a lot of medical issues) was staying with us for awhile, were both in separate rooms. I kept seeing a shadow go from one room to the next for several nights.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 18:13:05 GMT -5
Happy birthday and have a wonderful time with your sweetie.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 5, 2016 17:54:54 GMT -5
Has anyone ever owned a chow? I don't know anything about them? German Shepherd, yes. But not a chow. Then again, Jackson is my first doberman. I did about 28 ys. ago. Bear's mood could change in second. He was a single owner dog which happened to be my MIL. My first husband and I moved her in with us because she had stage 4 cancer. It make taking care of her hard at times During this time I became pregnant with my first DD and MIL passed away. He became very mean and had to be re-homed. This all happened when he was about 4 ys. old. He was great as a puppy.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 14:15:28 GMT -5
When my kids were little, they went to a home daycare, that I loved. She became pregnant and all the signs were showing she was having a girl. She had 2 boys and 1 girl at the time and was so excited.
After preparing for the girl, shower, room painted, etc. She ended up with a boy. No idea how that happened, but it did. He's a really sweet kid with parents that love him very much, but it is a funny story to tell.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 14:08:30 GMT -5
I don't wanna work I wanna bang on the drum all day. Love the song, but can't offer any other advice, sorry.
And banging on the drum doesn't cost much money either....
Well, that can be determined on the cost of the drum. Of course I'm the parent that gave my kids pots, pans and lids to bang on.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 13:43:53 GMT -5
I don't wanna work I wanna bang on the drum all day. Love the song, but can't offer any other advice, sorry.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 13:37:53 GMT -5
He's been off his meds for a while, right? Maybe time for him to get back on... Considering you are accommodating his desire for extra visitation (that might not necessarily be approved by the court even if he sought it), he needs to be on his best behavior. If it keeps up I'd go back to the court order. Why deal with the aggravation when you're essentially doing him a favor? (Leaving out the "best interest of the child" issue because I have no clue.) And to respond to the "you should have told him" posts, I could not disagree more. It's one thing to share information when you're dealing with a normal/functional person who equally shares in parenting duties, not someone with diagnosed mental health and substance abuse issues who sees their kid a few hours a week. Thank you, thank you!! From someone who is/btdt for 12 years. I wish that I had a place/someone to share the obstacles of dealing with a not normal/functional person.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 9:57:49 GMT -5
MPL, I don’t know if you’ve read my rants on the Anonymous thread, but my XH is just like yours, sometimes they could be twins. Thankfully, mine are now 19 and 14 now, but I’ve been co-parenting with my X for 12 years now. It is so much worse when he is drinking (which is a daily basis now). When the kids were little he told them horrible, horrible (not true) stories about me and in the last couple of years they have started questioning me, as well they should. Some things DD knows that if I did what he said they would have been taken away from me. When she started questioning her dad, he wouldn’t answer, so she knows the truth, plus she doesn’t remember any of the things I supposedly did. DS sometimes doesn’t know what to think, but trusts his sister. DS doesn’t talk to him anymore for a lot of different reasons and does not want to spend time with him. DD wants her “father”, but not the person he has become. He calls her late at night after drinking and tells her he needs her to go to Walmart right now and but some stupid thing that he wants. It’s crazy, but she insists on trying. One time a few months ago, he called her up insisting that I was yelling from my house to his (10 miles away), have me Baker Acted and CPS would take her and DS, telling her that he had seen me on Hollywood Blvd. selling myself and drugs. Sadly, the two of us were laughing so hard, because I was standing in here room, and I wasn’t outside yelling and I have never been to California in my life. These stories are just the tip of the iceberg. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with him directly since the kids are older, but I still do second hand. All of that to say, you are not alone, and I feel that you are handling things the correct way. He doesn’t need to know every little thing that happens with your son. If he wanted to know those things, he would man up and be a bigger part of your DS’s everyday life. Unfortunately, your son will be very conflicted and the chances of your X’s behavior will become more extreme especially if he is drinking. Hang in there and keep doing/reinforcing what you believe to be the right way to deals with things. I’m not sure at what age in your state your DS can cut of contact with his father if he wants to. Not that I would encourage it, but if his father’s behavior is causing DS issues, it may be something to look into. My DS made that choice before he turned 14, but until then I “made” him go to his dad’s every other weekend. Sorry for the book.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 3:42:17 GMT -5
MPL many hugs. I'll write more later, but right now, this hits too close to home when my kids were younger. Sorry, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 3:17:04 GMT -5
Dear DD(19), not sure what happened last night after you went out for dinner with your older workmates (21+), but thank you for texting me to call you and tell you to come home. I'm not sure what was going on, but something was making her uncomfortable, although I have a feeling of what it may have been. I'm just grateful that she feels she can count on me. That and that she has sense enough to make an exit instead of trying to fit in to be cool. Andi, that is so true. She has proven herself in regards to being her own person when she was in HS and now in "adult" life. She's more grown up than I give her credit for sometimes.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 4, 2016 3:08:52 GMT -5
She finally told me today what was going on.
They were going to hang out at a local spot and they wanted her to be the designated driver and she wasn't comfortable with doing that and not being home until the wee hours, because they were wanting to stay until closing time.
I'm so grateful that she has a head on her shoulders(some want, but nothing too serious). I would like to think I have done something right and she has/had some great mentors/teachers when she was in HS.
Proud Mama. Just when we think they never listen to us they prove us wrong. She is smart young lady. Give your self a pat on the back. Thank you. She really is smart, book wise, I just don't give her enough credit "life" wise. She's been through a lot with her father, unfortunately, and I worry that she'll make decisions that are not in her best interest. Thankfully, so far she has proven me wrong.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 3, 2016 18:44:39 GMT -5
Beth: Sorry, but maybe it will be for the best. Whom, I don't know, but hopefully DN#6 will come out ahead.
MLP: WTF, I hope you can get things worked out and it is just a misunderstanding.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 3, 2016 18:37:41 GMT -5
She finally told me today what was going on.
They were going to hang out at a local spot and they wanted her to be the designated driver and she wasn't comfortable with doing that and not being home until the wee hours, because they were wanting to stay until closing time.
I'm so grateful that she has a head on her shoulders(some want, but nothing too serious). I would like to think I have done something right and she has/had some great mentors/teachers when she was in HS.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 3, 2016 6:54:42 GMT -5
Dear DD(19), not sure what happened last night after you went out for dinner with your older workmates (21+), but thank you for texting me to call you and tell you to come home. I'm not sure what was going on, but something was making her uncomfortable, although I have a feeling of what it may have been. I'm just grateful that she feels she can count on me.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 3, 2016 0:09:18 GMT -5
Maybe so he can learn how to spell potato??
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 2, 2016 23:53:58 GMT -5
I'm sorry for the loss of those that were good, productive people in our society, heaven knows we need more of them. Hopefully they will inspire others to carry on their good work. You are not alone in wondering why wonderful people are taken from us too soon, and other who do not deserve to breath the same air are still here. Many hugs to you and their families.
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