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Post by chiver78 on Nov 13, 2023 12:46:40 GMT -5
I just handed over a pretty big check. but, the landscape work will start on Monday and will be mostly complete by the end of the week. (they will come back in the spring to level off a couple areas and spread grass seed). but, the crushed stone will be completely dug up and the project done correctly so it won't be a PITA to keep maintained. I can't wait to see it once it's done! before and after photos will definitely be going up on FB, I'll see if I can figure out how to post them somewhere here. I don't think shutterfly still has 'share' sites like I've used in the past.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 13, 2023 12:42:50 GMT -5
I need a new phone. I have so many apps on my phone, and I am out of memory. The apps go dormant and then when I need to use them, I can't reload them. I have my banking apps for 6 banks, Mine, DH's, my side business and our MM account, 2 for Mom and One for work. My work one has a separate authenticator app, and another separate one for our Retirment account. and it seems to go on and on. My phone is 64 GB DH's is 32 I think. He dosn't use many apps, so not as much of a problem for him. DH said last night that it seemed that the Samsung Phones were getting better reviews/ratings than the i-phones. Idk. We have always had apples after our initial Samsung Smart phones. <snip> Sun is shining on me. I need a blind or a shade in my office. We stick with Samsung because of the memory. Plus, we both hate anything Apple. 🤣 same, lol... other than my iPod, I don't think I've touched anything Apple since HS writing labs.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 13, 2023 9:24:36 GMT -5
I am dragging this am. I decided to just watch all of the episodes of "There's Something About Pam" last night, going to bed after 1am. oops. work calls start at 9, so I'd best get moving... I have been meaning to watch that. I believe it was on Peacock? likely, it was an NBC thing. I found it on Prime.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 13, 2023 8:16:50 GMT -5
I am dragging this am. I decided to just watch all of the episodes of "There's Something About Pam" last night, going to bed after 1am. oops. work calls start at 9, so I'd best get moving...
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 12, 2023 17:36:08 GMT -5
chiver78 I say new phone. But I've been salivating over the z flip phones for almost 2 years. I'm shocked you got 5 years out of yours. Mine always seem to have some sort of issues at 3 years. My YM card was revoked at least a decade ago, and I'm ok with that. consider that it hasn't really had normal wear and tear for 3 of those years, though. 🤷♀️. other than the lemon that wouldn't hold a charge after a few months (x3, with the replacements VZW insisted I try) I have always kept my phones longer than the contract was. this one seems to be doing okay despite the crack. thr keyboard was acting up when I made this post right when it happened, but that could have just been me being half asleep. idk. I'm going to put tape over the crack so I don't slice a finger on it all, and replace as needed. oh, and I don't think I ever had a YM card lol... you're good. 🤣
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 12, 2023 15:45:56 GMT -5
I'm about to start cooking, but I'm using up some fridge goblins on chicken piccata. I picked up a box of bowtie pasta when I went out to grab a fee things for the pups. love that cut for this, it just holds all of the tasty sauce. 🤤
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 12, 2023 5:47:23 GMT -5
ugh. I woke up to a sneezing fit. I reached for my phone to check the time when I finally stopped, and knocked it on the floor. well, it hit *just so* and cracked on the right side edge. there's a nice line across at about the "30yd line" if that makes sense.
guess I'll be researching screen repairs today to see I'm doing that or just getting a new one. this is a Galaxy S10, and it's over 4 years old. hmm....
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 20:12:30 GMT -5
I've thought this before, but haven't commented. this post nailed it for me - I feel like Mister thinks you're gonna run admin for his life like his mom did for Mr Messy. bc you're his lady, and that's how shit works in his brain. First of all, no apologies necessary for your post before this one. I need to sort my thoughts out some more before I can honestly respond to this post. That doesn’t mean that you are wrong in what you said or that I am offended (I definitely am not), it just means that even when I am venting because I am upset and angry, I still try to be honest. So I don’t want to go off on a tangent and say things that I am just feeling in this moment, that aren’t necessarily true when I am calm enough to try to look at things objectively. I hope that makes sense. And I hope I made it clear that I am not at all offended by you saying something that you’ve been thinking for some time now, nor am I saying I want you to stop being honest about your thoughts and opinions. I don’t want you to do that, at all. But my adult beverages haven’t kicked in so much that I don’t care what I say, and that is what I am being mindful of right now. And why I said before, that I should probably stop posting for the night lol. yup, we're good. I'm also about to stop posting bc I've wound down enough that I feel like my already minimal tact filter is gone. I hop you have a peaceful night and can get some rest.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 19:25:23 GMT -5
for the record, i am not sure i even want to contemplate our new Speaker. hopefully he will exit gracefully in 2025, being replaced by Hakeem Jeffries. but i see a possible existential crisis for the Republic on 1/6/25. i hope that Democrats are giving thought to that, and have some plans made, because being surprised and terrorized is not going to work, next time. I'm hopeful for that as well, but I have a sinking feeling that the MAGAts will pull out the stops to elect enough Republicans to prevent a (D) majority if only to prevent "another Muslim" from holding a power position. bc his name sounds like a terrorist. <I can't fucking roll my eyes loudly enough after typing that out> whoo...
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 19:20:17 GMT -5
Mister just asked me if I’ve seen an Amazon toy catalogue. Why yes, I have. It sat on the kitchen table for at least a week, along with the piles of mail that nobody sorts but me. A few days ago, I cleared the table and sorted the mail and threw away everything that wasn’t first class mail, and put his and his daughters’ mail on his desk and mine on my desk, like I always do. So I threw the catalogue away. Mister said Kiddo and Mister’s niece had circled what they wanted for Christmas in the catalogue. I asked, if it was important to you, why didn’t you put it on your desk or somewhere, instead of leaving it on the table for so long, when you know how I handle the mail SINCE I’M THE ONLY PERSON THAT GOES THROUGH THE PILES AND SORTS IT OUT? Crickets. Idk if he feels like I was wrong, and I don’t care. I’ve made it clear that if you leave random shit laying around the house and it looks like trash to me, Imma throw it away. I’m not completely crazy, so if it looks like something valuable, I will put it in the room of the person it belongs to, and just be irritated. But if it looks like trash, Imma put it in the trash. After 4.5 years, that should be clear and obvious. So if a random catalogue had value to you, you shouldn’t have left it on the kitchen table for over a week (I really think it was over 2 weeks, but that’s embarrassing to say, how long the table was a mess), with all the other junk and piles of mail that nobody was going to deal with, but me. I don’t throw away his cigar catalogues, I put them on his desk with the rest of his mail, because I know he likes cigars and must have gotten on their mailing lists on purpose. How tf was I supposed to know that a random Amazon catalogue was more special than all the others that I regularly throw away? I've thought this before, but haven't commented. this post nailed it for me - I feel like Mister thinks you're gonna run admin for his life like his mom did for Mr Messy. bc you're his lady, and that's how shit works in his brain.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 19:16:40 GMT -5
LD had eczema listed in his medical files when he came home. I haven't had to deal with that, but I do drizzle salmon oil over his meals, and that definitely helps. lmk if you want the Chewy link. the one I've posted before has been discontinued. I started buying salmon oil for the dogs, back when you first said something about it. I just asked Mister if he’s still been giving it to them and he said he’d slacked up on it, because it was getting low. wtf? it's a consumable. it gets low, you order more. 🤷♀️🤦♀️ oy. sorry. I don't mean to add fuel to the fire at all. but, fuck.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 18:55:21 GMT -5
Lots of on campus demonstrations by students and statements by professors against Israel , anti Semitic and for Hamas. Although the pro Hamas seems to be intermingled with pro Palestine I’m horrified and reminded of beginnings of Nazi state when Brown Shirts were demonstrating and abusing Jews. In NYC demonstrations have shut down bridges, Grand Central station and damages to NY Times building. Growing numbers of anti Semitic attacks on Jews and synagogues br] I see students as being naive and uneducated on history and being a shameful reflection of their lack of education. However I’m really appalled at the the professors and administrators who are older and have responsibilities I've seen a lot of coverage of college protests here in the US, but I have yet to see a pro-Hamas one. can you share a link to coverage of what you're talking about? please and thank you. I have a very mixed and confused opinion on this topic as a whole, because I'm admittedly very ignorant on the politics and history of that area. zero part of my heritage is Jewish, and what little I know came from public school and a Catholic upbringing. but nothing I've seen in the past month has been pro-Hamas, and I just needed to call that out there. please provide a link/source. thank you.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 18:45:12 GMT -5
eh, blame dj for this one. i just think it is hilarious that the very reason people choose to have an abortion was stated as a plus for killing deer. but i have a very macabre sense of humor. as Mark Twain once quipped (in a lengthy and worth-reading essay) "man is the lowest animal". like I said, I'm annoyed that I've wasted the time I have on this. so, we're good here, for everyone. lol... back on topic, until she derails it again.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 18:16:04 GMT -5
what does that even fucking mean? can you actually intelligently convey a point that doesn't include parrot points? I think that has already been determined, don't you? eh, blame dj for this one.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 17:37:52 GMT -5
LD had eczema listed in his medical files when he came home. I haven't had to deal with that, but I do drizzle salmon oil over his meals, and that definitely helps. lmk if you want the Chewy link. the one I've posted before has been discontinued.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 17:34:22 GMT -5
yes, I will agree with that. but this is why I enjoy participating in discussions and debates with you, vs the other poster. you debate for the sake of debating, and I don't do that all that often anymore. I actually unpacked a box today that wasn't at all what I expected, and found a couple college essays that showed I was pretty smahhhhhht* at one point in my life. the other is more like screaming into a vacuum like most internet interactions. anyway, I'm annoyed at myself for having wasted the amount of time on them that I already have today. so with that, I'm out of this thread arc for the night. *I am from Boston, after all. not to encourage you, but keep in mind that you are not wasting time on them. you are EITHER stating your opinion which will hopefully influence those actually discussing, OR you are venting (which has it's own cathartic qualities). in any case, we all eat chocolate, now and again. unless we are severely diabetic, it won't kill us, even if it does not particularly help us. I know, discussion still influences those reading and not yet participating. I'm just tired of the airtime we all still give this closed and locked mind. (and I know, I just responded again. I need to be better about that 🙄) but, you can have my portion of the chocolates. I don't actually like it. I'll raise my glass of wine to toast. 🙃
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 17:31:39 GMT -5
abortion is managed to keep the population under control. ergo...... human beings ergo.... what does that even fucking mean? can you actually intelligently convey a point that doesn't include parrot points?
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 16:38:13 GMT -5
see my followup to pmd. I'm perfectly willing to participate in a discussion on the topic, with people that actually participate. same as with any discussion on complicated topics. well, my point was a bit more direct (though obliquely stated): you are not really having a discussion with someone who is not entertaining your facts. you are simply stating your facts for OTHERS that are participating in a discussion. agree or disagree? yes, I will agree with that. but this is why I enjoy participating in discussions and debates with you, vs the other poster. you debate for the sake of debating, and I don't do that all that often anymore. I actually unpacked a box today that wasn't at all what I expected, and found a couple college essays that showed I was pretty smahhhhhht* at one point in my life. the other is more like screaming into a vacuum like most internet interactions. anyway, I'm annoyed at myself for having wasted the amount of time on them that I already have today. so with that, I'm out of this thread arc for the night. *I am from Boston, after all.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 16:15:25 GMT -5
and here is your logic flaw - she doesnt care about the debate. it is not a logical flaw. it is a conditional statement. it is also a fact. are you denying it? if someone, ANYONE, you- me, cares about debate, it REQUIRES them to consider that others have their own set of facts on their side, which they are arguing against yours. then the argument devolves to facts, and the best facts win. if it helps, imagine this question in the abstract. see my followup to pmd. I'm perfectly willing to participate in a discussion on the topic, with people that actually participate. same as with any discussion on complicated topics.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 15:57:29 GMT -5
So today is our “anniversary” and also the day we said at the end of August that we would get married. Mister keeps asking me about going out tonight. What the fuck for? To celebrate? Celebrate what? I don’t want to go ANYWHERE, except perhaps the moon, to get as far away from my life as possible. If I could somehow just disappear and make myself invisible, I swear I would. And to be clear, none of that has to do with thoughts of self harm or suicide. Even though shit sucks majorly right now and I don’t know what to do, I still want to live. I don’t want anyone to be concerned about that, regardless of whatever crazy things I might say. My plan for the evening is to indulge in several adult beverages and take my ass to bed. sending more hugs.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 15:54:49 GMT -5
I agree with "a man is not a plan". Remind me to share that phrase with DD, even though she's newly engaged. My Mom was older than my Dad, and still managed to outlive him by 12 years. A girl has to have a plan for herself. like DQ, I think my mom taught me a little too well. I'm still single, and likely to stay that way. well, maybe have a fun friend that lives somewhere else and I have my nice quiet space without being bothered. lol... my Nana was 4y older than my grandfather (she actually refused to have her birth year inscribed on their headstone while she was alive, b/c she didn't want anyone to know!) and lived to the ripe old age of 88. my grandfather passed from cancer when my mom was a kid, so mom grew up watching Nana handle herself as a single woman and getting it all done. I'm still trying to figure out how she found herself married with 2 kids by age 26 with how she raised the two of us kids.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 15:44:56 GMT -5
and here is your logic flaw - she doesnt care about the debate. in her mind, her opinion is the only one that matters, and fuck everyone else. she's been parroting the same thing, almost verbatim, in every post she makes on the topic. she's inflexible and unwavering on her opinion that "medically necessary" abortions should be the only ones allowed, but isn't interested in discussing what those might actually be. similar to the Republicans railing against the ACA, but not entertaining any discussion of an alternative. it's tiring, and it's never going to change as it's like trying to talk to a brick wall. 🤦♀️ Actually, it is even worse. She has no care about what the consequences are for the person who is forced to give birth because their reason for an abortion doesn't meet her definition. The pregnancy will result in a child with a horrible genetic disease who will be chronically ill and suffer, leading to an early death. Sucks to be you. Should have planned better before you opened your legs. If it bankrupts you or your family falls apart, oh well. Not my problem. You mean I have to pay more in taxes so those poor people who I would not let get an abortion can get SNAP assistance. Hell no! Let them suffer. She is either the most callous individual or incredibly stupid, because she is unwilling or unable to recognize what she wants to condemn people to have to deal with. But we are the ones without morals. oh, I'm aware. but that would have added way more lines to a post that wasted enough of my time and brainpower.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 12:50:29 GMT -5
I eat meat, shot and killed animals for food, killed insects.... on and on and on it doesn't mean anything to the subject actually this subject should be carried back to the abortion thread. i disagree. it means a great deal if you care about developmental biology. there is certainly no consciousness at fertilization. even the most zealous Christian doesn't believe that. otherwise, all of the miscarriages, etc would get funerals and court hearings. literally nobody wants that for women that have that misfortune. so, yeah. it matters. just not to you. and that is ok with me. but you need to at least recognize that it is a consideration for OTHERS if you care about this debate. and here is your logic flaw - she doesnt care about the debate. in her mind, her opinion is the only one that matters, and fuck everyone else. she's been parroting the same thing, almost verbatim, in every post she makes on the topic. she's inflexible and unwavering on her opinion that "medically necessary" abortions should be the only ones allowed, but isn't interested in discussing what those might actually be. similar to the Republicans railing against the ACA, but not entertaining any discussion of an alternative. it's tiring, and it's never going to change as it's like trying to talk to a brick wall. 🤦♀️
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 11, 2023 11:26:31 GMT -5
I feel you on it being 11am and needing to get in gear. I was halfway to Walmart at 9 when mooch texted to say he was heading up here to winterize the outdoor shower. he had just finished another side job and had everything with him except a pump, so it took almost an hour for the tank to drain with aid from an air compressor.
now I'm inhaling a quick bite before I get to typical weekend cleaning.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 21:38:30 GMT -5
I'm incredibly jealous of your warm days in November. just putting that out there. 🤣
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 21:34:18 GMT -5
can you afford to rent somewhere you feel safe and at peace while you wait til the house is paid off? at that point, you could sell completely free and clear, and maybe (hopefully?) the market will have come back more in line with where it should be. in the meantime, and I'm pretty sure you've already shifted to this mode, just keep banking the $ you'd have been throwing at the house until you're at a point where you're more comfortable with the balances. I know you said you've learned a ton from folks over your years on this board, so I know you wouldn't allow yourself to be in the position I was in - that short term rental, I needed to provide first/last before I could get my key and move anything in. we'd already established that I'd be paying my rent via PayPal, which was fine for later on. well, I ended up having to register a CC on PP (and paying a stupid amount of fees) to cover that b/c I didn't have $1800 to pay out until I got the house sale proceeds. I have briefly looked into renting too. The prices are ridiculous, and much more than the mortgage payments that I’d have if I bought a similar home. I don’t think I would do well sharing a home with strangers. I haven’t done well with that, even with people I really love. I am especially not keen on living in an apartment. I’ve only ever lived in an apartment for a year when I was around 8yo, with my Mom. I have made it my business to avoid living in an apartment as an adult. I don’t knock people who live in apartments, it’s just not something I’ve ever wanted to do. I never saw this even being an issue at this stage in my life. Before I met Mister, I had accepted my house being my forever home and had started making it be what I wanted it to be for me. But then I got sidetracked with all of that, because of my relationship with Mister and our talk of buying a house for us to live in. Then my Mom moved into my house and a lot of shit went haywire, and then I moved into the house I live in now. Even though my recents fights with Mister have not included talk about me moving, it is on my mind. And even though I do have a house I can live in, I don’t want to live there anymore, so I feel very “unsettled” about where Imma lay my head.I absolutely feel this. it's one of the worst feelings I've ever had. I wish I had more helpful stuff to offer for the rest. please keep coming back here to vent, bc we love you and have your back. I'll also say, if you can get to Boston or Providence, you can hang out her3 for a few days.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 19:42:29 GMT -5
hey! AAA covers bail for everything but DUIs. but please don't need to make that call tonight.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 19:38:42 GMT -5
My nerves are still really bad. Mister and I had a run in this morning, when I asked for an answer to a question I’d asked. His answer was a bunch of bullshit. After that, I was even more upset. But he wanted to carry on like nothing was wrong, and got irritated that I was ignoring him and not responding to his inane questions and comments about random shit while he was getting ready to go to work. I feel like I’ve been a fucking fool, trusting him the way that I have. And I am upset with myself because I have gotten myself into a bad situation, trying to be a good partner to him. I am angry now for a few reasons, one reason being that I basically have no money, because I used most of what I had, to try to keep pulling my weight in our household as much as I could, when my income wasn’t what it should’ve been. And now that I know that even that wasn’t enough, I really feel stupid. I am serious enough about our issues that I have started looking at houses. The local housing market has changed so much that even if I sell my other house, I can’t afford to buy a house somewhere that I would feel halfway safe. I am supposed to be gearing up for retirement, not trying to figure out taking on a whole new mortgage that will surely delay my retirement plans. Fuck me! Yeah, I do have a house that will paid off in a few more years. But there is so much emotional shit attached to that house, that I don’t see how I can live in it in peace, ever again. I’d started feeling that way before I even moved out of it, and I knew and still know that the house itself is not the problem, and the emotions attached to it are all on me. But I guess I should be glad that it’s even an option, even though I cringe at the thought of living there again. What a fucking mess. For the first time in decades, I don’t feel secure in the knowledge that I can provide the kind of lifestyle I want for myself. Aside from my emotional issues with living in my house again, I also really don’t want to go back to living in the city again, even though I’ve talked here about concerns about where I currently live in the suburbs. But given that I can’t even afford now to live in “nicer” areas of the city, I definitely can’t afford to live in the surrounding areas. I feel real silly for even getting myself into this kind of predicament. On top of all the other shit I have been dealing with, I am now concerned about my future and what I need to do next. I am seriously overwhelmed with the idea of finding somewhere to move to. But that is still not enough reason to stay where I am, if it’s not a good place for me to be. I’m too old for this shit! can you afford to rent somewhere you feel safe and at peace while you wait til the house is paid off? at that point, you could sell completely free and clear, and maybe (hopefully?) the market will have come back more in line with where it should be. in the meantime, and I'm pretty sure you've already shifted to this mode, just keep banking the $ you'd have been throwing at the house until you're at a point where you're more comfortable with the balances. I know you said you've learned a ton from folks over your years on this board, so I know you wouldn't allow yourself to be in the position I was in - that short term rental, I needed to provide first/last before I could get my key and move anything in. we'd already established that I'd be paying my rent via PayPal, which was fine for later on. well, I ended up having to register a CC on PP (and paying a stupid amount of fees) to cover that b/c I didn't have $1800 to pay out until I got the house sale proceeds.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 19:29:25 GMT -5
Back from the vet. Sushi was not a happy camper and yelled the whole time. All the other cats were quiet. He had a slice of ham and is now sleeping. I'm having a cuppa. I drink coffee from mugs, but tea belongs in a cup and saucer. for me, tea belongs in my insulated travel mug, b/c it takes me hours to finish.
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Post by chiver78 on Nov 10, 2023 16:31:08 GMT -5
grrr.....I decided to blow some leaves off the main grass before heading out to pick up Punk. *thankfully* I was still wearing the sneakers I wore out to meet finnime earlier, bc I definitely slid in a fresh pile of poo that I didnt see... 🤢 guess I need to blow the leaves every day, bc every other isn't often enough.
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