Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 29, 2019 11:05:28 GMT -5
So question here. DS has to turn in a 3 paragraph book report tomorrow. Book is read; work sheets are done (more or less); sentences are written, mostly in his words and thoughts. I'm going to type it out because I type faster than him. I'm planning on putting the sentences in a more coherent order (but not change them) and go over it with him tonight. I'll fix spelling as I go.
Am I crossing any lines of "doing the work for him", in your opinions? We spent a solid 2+ hours last night getting the work done. I'm sure the teacher will know he had help on this. I don't want to do too much but I want him to do well.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Apr 29, 2019 11:24:38 GMT -5
Beth - I think it sounds like you're doing slightly too much. What are the ramifications of him having the sentences slightly out of the order you would put them in? I would help him type it up and be done with it. He's a kid, turning something less than perfect in isn't going to impact his future, and that's how he'll learn.
I don't think you're severely crossing any lines or anything, just to be clear.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Apr 29, 2019 11:45:31 GMT -5
I think doing the typing for him is fine (if it is supposed to be typed), but I don't think you should fix anything else.
And I say that as a writer who would totally want to change that stuff!
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 29, 2019 11:53:03 GMT -5
I think you can teach him that part of proof reading is reading over what you wrote and not just settling for how you wrote it the first time. You can prompt him to look at the sentences and mention that they might read better in a different order and then see where that goes.
My vote is no on typing it for him. If it's supposed to be typed, I'd say the teacher expects him to do it. I also think back to if my folks would have stepped in on something like this because parents today are way too involved and skew things to make it seem like I'm just doing what everyone else is.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I fall in the camp of letting my kids be responsible for what they are capable of doing themselves. If they mess up a bit on the 3 paragraph assignment (for example by having to type it all the night before it's due), then maybe they learn before the 3 page assignment.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Apr 29, 2019 11:57:14 GMT -5
I would be ok typing it for him. (My mom did for my brother and I growing up as she was much faster than he and I.) I would type exactly how he wrote it though. I wouldn’t change anything (even though it would bug me not too.)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2019 12:52:24 GMT -5
The only way he's going to get faster at typing is to type a lot, but isn't he the 9 year old? Is his teacher expecting it to be typed?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 29, 2019 13:28:24 GMT -5
Ok, thanks.
Yeah, this is the 9 year old, in 3rd grade. The instructions sent home by his teacher basically said neatness counts and it's fine to type it or handwrite it. My Mom always typed our stuff because she was a professional typist. So I don't have a problem doing the typing. I'll be honest, I find it painful to watch people hunt and peck on a keyboard. If it was a Google docs assignment, he'd be typing it on his own. Total thing is worth 60 points. We talked about the differences in words from how I phrased things and words he would use - examples are humanity/people; discussed/talked. He thought that was cool, once he got it. He and I spent around 2 hours working on this yesterday. By 730, I just wanted it done.
I posted the question on the What are you doing thread too.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 29, 2019 13:32:44 GMT -5
I remember my dad typing up a report I had written in 5th grade.
If my C had the option of turning things in typed I doubt he'd ever write again, but I'm sure I would help with typing if he had put in the work on it to get it that far and wasn't otherwise being a beast. I wouldn't change anything though.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Apr 29, 2019 14:29:37 GMT -5
My dad typed one report/paper for me in 7th grade. We didn't have a computer at the time, and he had one he could type it on at work. A week before it's due, I sent my hand written paper with dad, he brought it home after work. Except, what no one told me at the time, is that my dad is terrible at copying exactly what is written. He left out 2 paragraphs b/c he thought they didn't apply, added a paragraph that he thought made it better (and didn't even write it in complete sentences), messed up the order of things. This might be why I have issues waiting until the very last minute to do things..... I made him re-do it. 3 more times until it was what I wanted (no idea why they didn't just take me to the local library - maybe they didn't have a computer?). Anyway, the next time I mentioned I had a report to work on, my dad went out and bought us a home computer. I think he was traumatized (terrorized?) by his 12 year old daughter and her quest for an A in a middle school class.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Apr 29, 2019 14:32:03 GMT -5
I don't think there's any problem with your typing the report for him. But, holy crap! I could not imagine either of my parents ever typing a report for me. The only help I got from them during my schooling was with Algebra homework and making a mousetrap car for physics class. My dad was an engineer, and basically took it over and over-engineered the damn thing, when I only needed it to be light, not sturdy as hell but heavy like he made it.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 29, 2019 16:23:22 GMT -5
I have no problem with you completing a technical skill unrelated to the skill being assessed. Ie. I assume he isn’t being graded on typing. I would set aside time over the summer to work in typing as a technical skill.
Now if he is being assessed on writing, your helping him won’t allow the teacher to adequately tell what he knows and still needs to know. Do you want to be the one to teach him these things? Or have her do it?
At most I’d type his order then save a copy and make changes, read them. It’s to him and see what he thinks about how they sound.
That said I’ve frequently edit kids work, not just mine. I tend to remember what Stephen king wrote about editing and his first copywriting job so I do mark up a lot, cross out, etc... but then they. She changes/decide what changes to make,
Most people who write for a living have editors. Sometimes our expectations for kids seem misaligned...
Also...If you use google docs in chrome you can use voice type without an additional program.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 8:57:18 GMT -5
So a heck of a bombshell got dropped yesterday. My brother got a girl he was swinging with (yes you read that right) pregnant.
He is swearing he doesn't want a kid and will sign away all rights blah blah.
She had an IUD and it failed.
My brother has zero business having a kid but at the same I have mixed feelings on having a niece or nephew I may never know.
I ain't touching the situation with a ten foot pole. I will say though out of all the scenarios DH came up with for how he'd implode this wasn't one of them.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 30, 2019 9:09:14 GMT -5
So a heck of a bombshell got dropped yesterday. My brother got a girl he was swinging with (yes you read that right) pregnant. He is swearing he doesn't want a kid and will sign away all rights blah blah. She had an IUD and it failed. My brother has zero business having a kid but at the same I have mixed feelings on having a niece or nephew I may never know. I ain't touching the situation with a ten foot pole. I will say though out of all the scenarios DH came up with for how he'd implode this wasn't one of them. I don't think he has any standing to sign his rights away unless someone is standing in line to adopt the kid. Tell him to start saving for child support. But, if she is a swinger, how does she know it's his? There's at least one other suspect.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2019 9:15:59 GMT -5
Yeah. I know you can't do that in MN. There would be lots of guys happily doing that if they could.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 9:20:42 GMT -5
So a heck of a bombshell got dropped yesterday. My brother got a girl he was swinging with (yes you read that right) pregnant. He is swearing he doesn't want a kid and will sign away all rights blah blah. She had an IUD and it failed. My brother has zero business having a kid but at the same I have mixed feelings on having a niece or nephew I may never know. I ain't touching the situation with a ten foot pole. I will say though out of all the scenarios DH came up with for how he'd implode this wasn't one of them. I don't think he has any standing to sign his rights away unless someone is standing in line to adopt the kid. Tell him to start saving for child support. But, if she is a swinger, how does she know it's his? There's at least one other suspect. The other guy was smart and used a condom. I don't think he can sign them away either. Like I said though not my circus.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Apr 30, 2019 9:22:28 GMT -5
I don't think he has any standing to sign his rights away unless someone is standing in line to adopt the kid. Tell him to start saving for child support. But, if she is a swinger, how does she know it's his? There's at least one other suspect. The other guy was smart and used a condom. I don't think he can sign them away either. Like I said though not my circus. Condoms also fail...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 30, 2019 9:27:10 GMT -5
I don't think he has any standing to sign his rights away unless someone is standing in line to adopt the kid. Tell him to start saving for child support. But, if she is a swinger, how does she know it's his? There's at least one other suspect. The other guy was smart and used a condom. I don't think he can sign them away either. Like I said though not my circus. condoms fail too. I'd be asking for a DNA test
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 30, 2019 9:31:22 GMT -5
I tend to picture swingers as being married or in LTRs, to be honest. So maybe there is a guy willing to take on a kid? But that's my own biases, probably drawn from crappy tv shows.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 30, 2019 9:40:44 GMT -5
The other guy was smart and used a condom. I don't think he can sign them away either. Like I said though not my circus. condoms fail too. I'd be asking for a DNA test This. And an aids test. If someone is swinging, why would they not use a condom 100% of the time. He may have bigger fish to fry.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2019 10:16:29 GMT -5
I tend to picture swingers as being married or in LTRs, to be honest. So maybe there is a guy willing to take on a kid? But that's my own biases, probably drawn from crappy tv shows. Right? How are single people swingers?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 30, 2019 10:23:41 GMT -5
I tend to picture swingers as being married or in LTRs, to be honest. So maybe there is a guy willing to take on a kid? But that's my own biases, probably drawn from crappy tv shows. Right? How are single people swingers? Beats me but this is so not my scene. I know on the Capt. Awkward forums there are people with all sorts of relationship shapes and flavors and I try to be respectful by mostly staying out of the way. I've got compassion for their breakups but I don't feel they want the advice of a late forties, straight, white hetero.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Apr 30, 2019 10:24:31 GMT -5
Is the woman keeping the baby? Doesn't sound like she has her life together anymore than your brother. If he's talking about signing his rights away perhaps that means that the mother is planning on putting the child up for adoption?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 10:53:31 GMT -5
She's considering keeping it. She is 12 weeks already so only has a brief window in Iowa to change her mind. She currently plans to raise it.
She's single.
He is very anti kid. It could change. It could not. Either way I don't think it's that simple for him to get out of it.
They belong to a club in Omaha that has an insane amount of members. A condition is you have to be regularly tested and your results on file. Refuse and they kick you out.
But yes he should be using a condom anyhow because you can easily contract something between check ups and be asymptomatic.
DNA test was brought up. I'm letting my parents deal with it he's not my kid or living in my house.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 30, 2019 10:57:13 GMT -5
I hope your parents bring up getting snipped too, if he's that anti kid. But not your circus, not your monkeys.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Apr 30, 2019 11:17:25 GMT -5
Well, it's too late to be anti-kid. I'm having a hard time mustering up much sympathy for your brother. I do feel for the baby though. I really hope the mother gets her shit together fast. In general I try not to judge other people's sexual choices because as long as you are a consenting adult then it's none of my business. However, I can't help but feel that this particular lifestyle doesn't seem to be conducive to stability.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 13:41:52 GMT -5
I don't know her so I am not going to judge I don't believe anyone's sex life is a determination of whether or not they will be a good parent. There are lots of good heterosexual mongnamous couples who only use missionary position that are horrid parents. There are 700+ people who are a part of this club (in the midwest, who knew!) so I imagine there are parents in that group.
I do judge my brother. If he is as anti-kid as he claims then he had zero business having sex without a condom because there IS that 1:1000 chance an IUD will fail.
As far as getting snipped I don't know if it is different for males but when I was considering it after that gyno scared the shit out of me about HPV I was told nobody would touch me till I was 35 "in case I changed my mind". That may be one of those sexist things that doesn't apply to men.
And IMO, he should have kept it to himself at least until they know for sure who is the father. Don't bring the rest of us into it because we are not going to get a vote in the matter. Don't get me wrong I support her right to choose but it's still a mixed bag of emotions
You are 30 years old deal with the problem yourself.
This makes me think of DH's nephew who had a kid with his girlfriend. They broke up and he got engaged to someone else. That woman did not want kids but instead of telling her to take a hike he ditched his son! They just recently had a baby so apparently her attitude towards kids only extended to being a step mother. He had this huge spiel about how he wasn't ready to be a father to kid #1 but with kid #2 it is different. Him and his wife are estranged from the family we haven't seen them since the wedding.
Kid #1 has an awesome mom and step dad though. She keeps everyone involved in his life.
WTF is it with some men?! Were they sick on the day sexual education explained that sperm is needed to make babies?
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 30, 2019 13:58:10 GMT -5
condoms fail too. I'd be asking for a DNA test This. And an aids test. If someone is swinging, why would they not use a condom 100% of the time. He may have bigger fish to fry. Most uncomfortable conversation I ever had with xH's youngest brother who visited us in Bangkok in the late 80s. He went out every night to Patpong and Thailand had a huge denial about the AIDS epidemic → that was an evil western problem that didn't exsist in Thailand but they had one and it was huge. So one day in the car I just had to make sure that xBIL knew that (i) there was a really big problem, so (ii) I didn't care what he did but he better use protection.
Years later he thanked me. He got lucky but did go through testing for quite awhile after he was home again. Still... not a converstation I would like to have with anyone I did not give birth to ever again → and those two I had "the talk" with ad nauseam
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 14:02:23 GMT -5
I'm not asking but since STD testing is condition of membership I assume he's been tested and will have to regularly.
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on Apr 30, 2019 16:32:34 GMT -5
Since inquiring minds want to know, I'm just going to speculate out loud here... In order to be a swinger, don't you have to be in a relationship, and both of you are swinging? So this is sort of a hookup club? With rules (which is probably where the midwestern part comes in )? Otherwise it's just Tinder, right? (I know a couple who swing, but they're married. To each other, and always looking for their next victim partner. The male is super creepy, always hitting on women and making insanely inappropriate comments. Isn't that the difference between swinging and hooking up?) This is my ignorance about an entire culture, right here. But now I'm being nosy about it. Not going to google, obviously.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 30, 2019 17:25:40 GMT -5
I have no clue. I've gone cross eyed when he tries to explain. Swinging is the best my brain can come up with.
All I know is DH and I are very vanilla.
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