Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 9:08:01 GMT -5
I have zero issues with being direct in all aspects of my life with exception of restaurants. So weird. I’m afraid they’ll mess with my food if I’m honest. I usually say it’s fine even if it isn’t then never return. I’ve complained twice and received a gift card and a whole meal replacement. In college we had an assignment to write a complaint letter. I had a very tough steak at a family owned restaurant and explained it was expensive on a college budget and was disappointed in the meal. They sent back a letter with gift card. Very nice! The other time the manager asked after the meal at a chain restaurant and I had to be honest because my steak was very gristly. Hardly any was edible. You could see the mangled mess left. He had them prepare the entire meal again to take home.
How about you? What are your restaurant experiences with being assertive?
|
|
sheilaincali
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 17:55:24 GMT -5
Posts: 4,131
|
Post by sheilaincali on Sept 20, 2019 9:57:48 GMT -5
I have a pretty extreme gluten sensitivity. I experience severe gastrointestinal distress within 15 to 30 minutes of consuming gluten. I'm very upfront with that to the waiters and waitresses. I'm not a jerk about it but I do explain my concerns and have to ask them multiple questions before I can order. I have been known to inform the hostess if a particular table is unacceptable to me and when they say "is this ok?" I'll say, no thank you. Could I sit....." Again, I ask nicely and apologize for the inconvenience.
I do take to google or facebook and leave reviews if things are unsatisfactory. Especially when they tell me something is gluten free and I find out soon after eating that it's not. I leave the reviews more as warnings to other people with food allergies.
I haven't had a lot of negative experiences after being assertive. I give allowances, gluten sensitivities are new to some people, they don't always understand the extent of cross contamination. When you grill my chicken breast on the same spot on the grill where you just made a patty melt and then you give me fries out of the same fryer that you did cheese curds in I'm going to get sick. When you drizzle gravy on my food after I asked you not to I'm going to get sick. When you don't put in the menu that you marinate your meat in beer I'm going to get sick. I don't have time to stick around after my meal because it's typically pretty imperative that I find a bathroom ASAP (sorry for the tmi) but do contact them after the fact so that other people don't get sick.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 20, 2019 10:25:05 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm more assertive about eyeballing DH's plate when it comes to the table - he's gluten and dairy free but not to the extent Sheila is. I try to check so that we can send it back right away instead of waiting until we can flag a server down after DH notices that they put cheese on a side. He and the kids had a helluva time at Noodles & Co a couple of weeks ago.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Sept 20, 2019 10:53:45 GMT -5
I have a pretty extreme gluten sensitivity. I experience severe gastrointestinal distress within 15 to 30 minutes of consuming gluten. I'm very upfront with that to the waiters and waitresses. I'm not a jerk about it but I do explain my concerns and have to ask them multiple questions before I can order. I have been known to inform the hostess if a particular table is unacceptable to me and when they say "is this ok?" I'll say, no thank you. Could I sit....." Again, I ask nicely and apologize for the inconvenience.
I do take to google or facebook and leave reviews if things are unsatisfactory. Especially when they tell me something is gluten free and I find out soon after eating that it's not. I leave the reviews more as warnings to other people with food allergies.
I haven't had a lot of negative experiences after being assertive. I give allowances, gluten sensitivities are new to some people, they don't always understand the extent of cross contamination. When you grill my chicken breast on the same spot on the grill where you just made a patty melt and then you give me fries out of the same fryer that you did cheese curds in I'm going to get sick. When you drizzle gravy on my food after I asked you not to I'm going to get sick. When you don't put in the menu that you marinate your meat in beer I'm going to get sick. I don't have time to stick around after my meal because it's typically pretty imperative that I find a bathroom ASAP (sorry for the tmi) but do contact them after the fact so that other people don't get sick. I'll also throw in there that AMAZINGLY there are TONS of people who want to lose weight who all of a sudden 30 years into life have become "allergic to gluten". A lot of gluten issues seem to fall into the categories of "I just don't want gluten" or "I shouldn't really eat gluten, but I'm not actually allergic". I'm sure it's difficult for restaurants in a couple of ways. "Allergic to gluten" has come to mean a lot of things that are NOT, in fact, allergic to gluten". And they also likely have a TON of people eating there who say they are allergic to gluten who somehow don't end up with any symptoms when they do things the way they've always done them. It's not really treated like nut allergies are. Most people I know hear nut allergies and immediately leap to "they'll die if they're even near a nut", they hear "gluten allergy" and think "they're on a diet...OR they shouldn't eat gluten if they can help it". It's a bit like the boy who cried wolf. If tons of people who have no actual gluten problem, or a minor sensitivity, start acting like it's a huge deal when it's not...then the people who hear it stop considering it a huge deal.
|
|
sheilaincali
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 17:55:24 GMT -5
Posts: 4,131
|
Post by sheilaincali on Sept 20, 2019 11:03:22 GMT -5
I'm aware that Gluten Free is a current fade and that everyone and their mother is on keto. That's why I am very upfront with them and tell them I have celiacs and that it's an allergy not a preference. A lot of places have a allergy menu and break out the options that are gluten free, dairy free, nut free, etc.
To be truly gluten free they have to prepare my food in a separate area of the kitchen or on a separate place on the grill. Some places have a whole cleaning protocol they follow for allergies. I always apologize and ask politely for them to inform the chef/cook. It's a double edged sword- I hate that people pretend to be gluten sensitive when really they are doing a keto diet but the more people asking for gluten free options the more options I have available to me.
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:06:32 GMT -5
Celiac Disease is NOT an allergy. It’s an autoimmune disease. DD, mom, a couple nieces and nephews are diagnosed.
It’s incredibly frustrating the amount of misinformation floating around.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,698
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 20, 2019 11:08:52 GMT -5
It really sucks for those of us who are allergic or can't tolerate something. People who just don't want something will claim to be allergic. It makes it dangerous for the those of us with true allergies.
I was able to eat eggs until 25 or so. Whether I had a slight allergy I didn't notice or I just developed it I don't know. I also can't have food sulfites. I can drink wine but food sulfites will result in my meal ending up in the toilet after 20 minutes. Both of those came on at 25 at the same time I was diagnosed with asthma.
I have gotten more assertive and do generally speak up. Most of my issues lately though are making Dunkin remake my wrap because I ordered it with no egg and they put egg on it.
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:10:18 GMT -5
Have you had a biopsy Sheila?
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,884
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Sept 20, 2019 11:10:40 GMT -5
I'm probably a waitresses' best customer - I almost never complain. Once, I got an entrée that was partly cold (like frozen cold) but we were running late for an event and I just ate around the cold spot it. It actually embarrasses me to be out with someone who is very particular about their food and keeps sending it back. I had an office mate like that, and once, she sent a baked potato back three times because the kitchen couldn't get the exact right number of pieces of cheese on it. I felt like taking the poor waiter aside, telling me to just scrape all the cheese off, and then bring her a naked potato with cheese on the side. It wasn't that she was allergic to cheese, or had a strict diet, she just had, in her mind, the exact number of cheese pieces she wanted per square inch of potato, and the restaurant wasn't getting it right.
I do remember one time when I ordered a yoghurt, fruit and granola parfait. I just got the yoghurt and granola, because the kitchen had no fruit. This was the unflavored, unsugared yoghurt, very sour, and plain granola (no sweetener) that you kind of need to eat with fruit. They offered to let me pick another item, I just added some table sugar and went on. They did remove my breakfast from the bill. No biggie.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,698
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 20, 2019 11:11:31 GMT -5
I'm aware that Gluten Free is a current fade and that everyone and their mother is on keto. That's why I am very upfront with them and tell them I have celiacs and that it's an allergy not a preference. A lot of places have a allergy menu and break out the options that are gluten free, dairy free, nut free, etc.
To be truly gluten free they have to prepare my food in a separate area of the kitchen or on a separate place on the grill. Some places have a whole cleaning protocol they follow for allergies. I always apologize and ask politely for them to inform the chef/cook. It's a double edged sword- I hate that people pretend to be gluten sensitive when really they are doing a keto diet but the more people asking for gluten free options the more options I have available to me. We had one place in Pittsburgh that was incredibly good about allergies. My niece wanted a salad sans pecans. She has a tree nut allergy. The chef came out to speak to her. They had a separate area in which they made her salad. Disney world has also been good. The one meal my food was brought out separately by the chef. He came out to speak to me first.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,459
Member is Online
|
Post by billisonboard on Sept 20, 2019 11:18:40 GMT -5
We served food to groups at our facility and request dietary information. I recently received this: Also we have two kids that believe they need to eat gluten-free.
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:18:41 GMT -5
There’s wheat sensitivity too. It’s also not an allergy. Wheat just makes you miserable.
There’s no way to be 100% gf. Cross contamination happens in crops, processing, etc. Avoiding gluten as much as possible is the best you can do.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Sept 20, 2019 11:22:48 GMT -5
I'm aware that Gluten Free is a current fade and that everyone and their mother is on keto. That's why I am very upfront with them and tell them I have celiacs and that it's an allergy not a preference. A lot of places have a allergy menu and break out the options that are gluten free, dairy free, nut free, etc.
To be truly gluten free they have to prepare my food in a separate area of the kitchen or on a separate place on the grill. Some places have a whole cleaning protocol they follow for allergies. I always apologize and ask politely for them to inform the chef/cook. It's a double edged sword- I hate that people pretend to be gluten sensitive when really they are doing a keto diet but the more people asking for gluten free options the more options I have available to me. It's also probably an issue that most people with celiacs aren't really allergic to gluten (I suppose you could both have celiacs and a wheat allergy or something). But the whole "separate prep areas" and all that goes with it is not a celiacs thing for the majority of people with celiacs. There's a big difference between "this food is gluten free" and "we prepare this food and keep it distinct from anything that might cause any type of reaction for people with allergies". It's not much different than someone who labels and item "vegan"...it doesn't mean they made it in a different kitchen where no eggs have ever been cooked before. It means "this food doesn't include animals or animal products". YOUR idea of "truly gluten free" is preparing it in a separate area of the kitchen or on a separate place on the grill. Just like MY idea of "vegan" might be "has never touched a cooking utensil that has ever been in contact with meat or byproducts". Neither of these is likely what a restaurant means when describing a dish. I'm not sure what you're ACTUALLY saying to them, but I wouldn't mention celiacs. If you want to get the highest level of "purity", I'd stick with "allergy" and then reiterate what it is you're actually, specifically, allergic to. Part of the issue is probably that gluten allergy is not the same as celiacs which is not the same as wheat allergy, etc. "Celiacs" probably conjures up all the people they may know with celiacs, who don't need anything remotely as "non gluten" as what you're wanting/expecting.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,692
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 20, 2019 11:23:50 GMT -5
I easy since I don't have any allergies so to speak. I can't deal with jalapenos so I will ask if I think they may be added to something since for a while they were added to everything that wasn't crawling on a plate ie hush puppies, cornbread, batter for fried fish and such
I cannot do cilantro at all - makes me want to barf but it is usually shown on menu as in "with cilantro" so I avoid that.
Reading this thread makes me realize just how fortunate I am that so far I can eat just about anything and enjoy going out to eat
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,459
Member is Online
|
Post by billisonboard on Sept 20, 2019 11:25:37 GMT -5
As a manager of a facility at which customer service is important, I know that I appreciate feedback. Therefore, I will offer it when I feel that there is something that a manager should be aware. I will frequently say something like, "I know that people can have bad days so please take that into account, Just want to let you know "X" in case it seems to be a re-occurring issue." I am also as quick to find a manager and point out something that was particularly pleasing to me.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Sept 20, 2019 11:26:37 GMT -5
It really sucks for those of us who are allergic or can't tolerate something. People who just don't want something will claim to be allergic. It makes it dangerous for the those of us with true allergies. I was able to eat eggs until 25 or so. Whether I had a slight allergy I didn't notice or I just developed it I don't know. I also can't have food sulfites. I can drink wine but food sulfites will result in my meal ending up in the toilet after 20 minutes. Both of those came on at 25 at the same time I was diagnosed with asthma. I have gotten more assertive and do generally speak up. Most of my issues lately though are making Dunkin remake my wrap because I ordered it with no egg and they put egg on it. Part of the issue is also that unless you say you are "allergic", you're not going to get the same precautions you may still need. To the point on celiacs vs allergy...if you say "no gluten", you might still get gluten. If you have celiacs, you might really want/need to avoid the gluten, which is different than "I'm just trying a new diet that doesn't eat carbs". So if you have celiacs, the only way you might effectively avoid gluten is to say "I'm allergic" even though that's not true (but is certainly more true than those who simply don't WANT something). Also in terms of celiacs "I'm allergic" is a lot more effective than "I have an autoimmune disease which prompts a specific reaction if I ingest gluten".
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,692
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 20, 2019 11:27:14 GMT -5
As a manager of a facility at which customer service is important, I know that I appreciate feedback. Therefore, I will offer it when I feel that there is something that a manager should be aware. I will frequently say something like, "I know that people can have bad days so please take that into account, Just want to let you know "X" in case it seems to be a re-occurring issue." I am also as quick to find a manager and point out something that was particularly pleasing to me. Same here. So easy to complain and forget to praise!
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:38:17 GMT -5
First step is to get the antibody (IgA) blood test. If it’s positive then most likely you have Celiac or another autoimmune disorder. Biopsy confirms it.
DD was diagnosed at 18 months. She’s a senior in HS now. She’s thriving. It sucks for her having to tell new friends/teammates because there are so many fad diets out there. No one wants to be different (especially not as a kid/teen).
I really feel for the gluten sensitive crew because it’s not something that will slowly kill you but it will make you sick.
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:45:17 GMT -5
Family members with Celiac are in the group that slight contamination don’t cause them grief. We use 1 toaster. I know we should have separate one. She also eats fries out of restaurants that don’t have a designated one. She’ll eat her hamburger after taking off bun it they accidentally forget. She seems to be thriving but there are potential risks we can’t see (infertility, cancer, osteoporosis...)
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,310
Member is Online
|
Post by swamp on Sept 20, 2019 11:47:09 GMT -5
I'm not picky, I'm not allergic to anything, and I'll eat just about anything. If the kitchen mistakenly adds something I asked not to include, I'll scrap it off or pick it out.
Unless the food is stone cold/still frozen, moldy, or spoiled, I won't say anything and I'll eat it.
|
|
Mrs. Dinero
Well-Known Member
100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:09:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,508
|
Post by Mrs. Dinero on Sept 20, 2019 11:53:32 GMT -5
“I cannot do cilantro at all - makes me want to barf but it is usually shown on menu as in "with cilantro" so I avoid that.” Did you know this is part of your DNA? There’s such a thing is cilantro aversion. People with the aversion think it’s tastes like soap. So interesting.
|
|
chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 38,515
|
Post by chiver78 on Sept 20, 2019 11:58:36 GMT -5
Celiac Disease is NOT an allergy. It’s an autoimmune disease. DD, mom, a couple nieces and nephews are diagnosed. It’s incredibly frustrating the amount of misinformation floating around. I didn't see where she said she has Celiac.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Sept 20, 2019 12:00:06 GMT -5
Celiac Disease is NOT an allergy. It’s an autoimmune disease. DD, mom, a couple nieces and nephews are diagnosed. It’s incredibly frustrating the amount of misinformation floating around. I didn't see where she said she has Celiac. "I'm aware that Gluten Free is a current fade and that everyone and their mother is on keto. That's why I am very upfront with them and tell them I have celiacs and that it's an allergy not a preference. A lot of places have a allergy menu and break out the options that are gluten free, dairy free, nut free, etc."
|
|
chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 38,515
|
Post by chiver78 on Sept 20, 2019 12:00:50 GMT -5
We served food to groups at our facility and request dietary information. I recently received this: Also we have two kids that believe they need to eat gluten-free. and who made that call? that's an obnoxious tone, IMHO
|
|
chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 38,515
|
Post by chiver78 on Sept 20, 2019 12:01:46 GMT -5
I didn't see where she said she has Celiac. "I'm aware that Gluten Free is a current fade and that everyone and their mother is on keto. That's why I am very upfront with them and tell them I have celiacs and that it's an allergy not a preference. A lot of places have a allergy menu and break out the options that are gluten free, dairy free, nut free, etc." ok my bad. I missed this particular post. I'm just jumpy b/c I also have a nasty allergy - and mine is an anaphylactic reaction. so we will also know pretty quickly if someone's lying or incompetent.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,692
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 20, 2019 12:03:42 GMT -5
[/p]
I
[/quote][/p][/quote]
Someone mentioned this to me some time ago. I was off and running to find out why and pretty much fit me to a t. Who knew? I had a friend who thought I was making it up that it tasted like soap to me!!
|
|
chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 38,515
|
Post by chiver78 on Sept 20, 2019 12:14:44 GMT -5
there are a number of smaller chains in this area that the minute you mention the word "allergy" the server passes the table off to a manager, who walks that entire order through the kitchen. we tend to go to places like this with my sister, who has an AI that is triggered by some pretty basic things that seem to be in everydamnthing. yeast/yeast extract? yeah... past that, I personally just need to be careful and know I can trust where I am going. my allergy is specific to shellfish, and I am sensitive enough that I can't eat things cooked in the same fryer that's seen shellfish. so I just don't eat a lot of fried foods lately......which isn't a bad thing. but, I ask that "co-mingled fryers?" question when the server is taking drink orders, so they can find out for me if they don't already know, in time for me to figure out what to order. where I live, there are a number of places I just won't eat - but I still go, because I'm taking out of town friends for New England seafood like a huge lobster roll. I'll just have a bottle of beer that I take the cap off, thanks.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,388
Member is Online
|
Post by andi9899 on Sept 20, 2019 12:16:06 GMT -5
“I cannot do cilantro at all - makes me want to barf but it is usually shown on menu as in "with cilantro" so I avoid that.” Did you know this is part of your DNA? There’s such a thing is cilantro aversion. People with the aversion think it’s tastes like soap. So interesting. I had never heard of this until a few years ago. That makes me sad. I love cilantro and couldn't imagine life without it. But I guess if it tasted like soap you couldn't imagine why on earth anyone would like it.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 20, 2019 12:19:04 GMT -5
Most recently.....
When we were in NY, I ordered a strip steak med rare and it came out well done. I stent it back. My sister’s steak came out the same way. We got totally new meals, and the manager apologized profusely.
Last week, TD and I were out to dinner and my meal came out cold. I had ordered Mac and cheese with grilled chicken and only the chicken was edible. The waitress offered to remake it, but we had waited a long time so I just ate the chicken. We were not billed for my meal.
2 weeks ago, we were at our group’s happy hour. I guess that there were about 12 there that day. When the group ordered dinner, all the food came out but one couple’s. It was mentioned to the server and he said he would take care of it. 30 min later, they still hadn’t received their food, 45 min later after everyone was done, their food came out. The couple got the manager involved and he gave them a 20% discount. At this point, everyone was leaving and they didn’t want the food. There were some words exchanged, and this place is going to be stripped from the group’s restaurant rotation. This wasn’t the first time we have had issues here, but it looked like the place had resolved their problems.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,459
Member is Online
|
Post by billisonboard on Sept 20, 2019 12:28:51 GMT -5
We served food to groups at our facility and request dietary information. I recently received this: Also we have two kids that believe they need to eat gluten-free. and who made that call? that's an obnoxious tone, IMHO Their small town cross country coach who knows the kids and their families made that comment. IM(not so)HO, it is a wonderfully obnoxious tone. From our side, our kitchen staff works hard to meet the demands placed on them. Too frequently, special meals prepared using time that they don't necessarily have and at greater expense are left unclaimed. It is a point of serious frustration.
|
|