How did your kids find out "the truth"?(santa, easter bunny)

[geenamercile]

I'm sorry you had a hard night. 

[Deleted]

SECOND!!!

[doxieluvr]

My 9 year old daughter still believes.  Why change it?

Let the kids believe. The parents that ruin it are the ones to lazy to carry on the Santa and Bunny's tasks.

[geenamercile]

My daughers believe, but the oldest hasn't asked about it yet either.  When she does I think I will just let her know the truth.  Explain to her that it is something fun and magical that parents like to do for thier kids to make the holidays extra special.  And now she can help with her little sisters.

I have to say once I found out the truth as a kid my aunt and uncle still did Santa gifts and an Easter Basket for me.  I started to help both of them with the others Easter Basket, and Santa got a real sense of humor and started giving the joke gifts. The adapted, but they were still fun.  This continued up through college, and honestly if someone finds that great joke gift, we still put Santa on it.  I mean come on who can get mad at the big fat guy in the red suit. 

[swamp]

My kids are 5 and 6. They still believe. 

[constanz22]

I don't have kids, but I don't even remember "finding out" as a child, so, must not have been THAT traumatic...

[milee]

 "I will just let her know the truth. Explain to her that it is something fun and magical that parents like to do for thier kids to make the holidays extra special."

This is what we did from the beginning.  Christmas and Easter are still fun and special, but there's no worry about who knows what.

I'm a bad liar and it's just easier not to lie. 

Sorry, wrongsideof30, that's not helpful to you and I'm sorry you and your kids are having a hard time with this.

[Tennesseer]

Wrongside-consider it another milestone of your kids growing up. At some point they would have found out. And consider it a milestone for yourself.-your kids are growing up and you're learning how to let go in small steps.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 31, 2013 8:52:12 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Does anyone else think that my MIL was over the line telling my kids "the truth"? I'm really irritated with her self righteousness. "I don't lie to children", is what she says. When we picked the kids up from her house yesterday, she didn't bother telling us that she had told them the whole thing was a sham. Coward.

<sorry, I'm also a little angry in addition to being sad.>

If this is 'nornal' behavior for her, then yes, she's a PITA.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 31, 2013 8:53:10 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Mar 31, 2013 8:51:34 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Wrongside-consider it another milestone of your kids growing up. At some point they would have found out. And consider it a milestone for yourself.-your kids are growing up and you're learning how to let go in small steps.

Yes, you are absolutely right.  In my head, I know that.

Motherhood will do that. Be kind to yourself.

[Regis]

Trust me - your kids will be joking about it in a few years and you will, too!

DS21 still reminds us every Christmas how FIL let it out of the bag that there was no Santa Claus.  And then we drink eggnog...with rum.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 31, 2013 8:59:14 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Mar 31, 2013 8:53:53 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

If this is 'nornal' behavior for her, then yes, she's a PITA.

Considering it was my birthday yesterday, yes, it sounds just about right.

Aside of your PITA MIL, as adults, your kids probably won't even remember when they found out there was no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or Halloween Headless Horseman. I'm in my 60s and I don't remember when I found out. I do know I wasn't damaged by finding out. Christmas as a kid was always fun no matter who gave the gift.

In the scheme of things, finding out there is no Santa Claus is much like a kid skinning his knee- hurts a bit, mom kisses it, and then the he goes off and plays.

[Deleted]

Here's my story . . . my daughter asked me to take her shopping for a bra.  So that made her maybe ten or eleven.  However old she was, I decided that you really were ready to know the truth about Santa if you were wearing a bra. Lol.  So I told her he wasn't real.  She cried and told me I was lying to her.  She begged me to tell her I was lying to her.  So I said, "Sweet pea, I have no idea why I wanted to hurt you by telling you such lies, but I lied.  Santa Claus is real."  That calmed her down.

Two hours later her brother told her that there was no Santa Claus.  She just shrugged and said, "I know.  Mom told me."

[Tennesseer]

[mmhmm]

I don't recall when I learned the dreadful facts.  My kids were around 9 or 10 when they started to hear Santa wasn't real and ask.  I kept up the ruse for as long as they were willing to accept it.  Thing is, you've never lied to them.  There really is a Santa.  Santa is the Christmas spirit that every parent experiences when that time of year comes around.  It takes you over.  On Christmas Eve night, YOU are Santa and Santa is as real as you are.

[Tennesseer]

I think at some point, the gift tag on my presents said "To Tennesseer from Mom, Dad, and Santa."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  

[doxieluvr]

Mar 31, 2013 8:52:12 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

Does anyone else think that my MIL was over the line telling my kids "the truth"? I'm really irritated with her self righteousness. "I don't lie to children", is what she says. When we picked the kids up from her house yesterday, she didn't bother telling us that she had told them the whole thing was a sham. Coward.

<sorry, I'm also a little angry in addition to being sad.>

I would let her have it but I don't stress over keeping the inlaws on my good side. When it comes to my children, I say how I feel and how they will be raised.

[Formerly SK]

My kids are 6.75 and 8 and still believe.  I don't even get questions like "how does the Easter Bunny get in our house?"  They are the most naive, gullible kids I know.  I've actually worried a bit about it because in my circle of friends the other kids are getting more skeptical (or totally figuring it out).  I don't want to burst their bubble, but I also don't want them to get ridiculed by their classmates one day. 

[Apple]

My son was around 3 when he figured it out and it seemed random (it was around Easter and he said "Santa Clause isn't real, is he?").  I'm not good at lying, so yeah, even a three-year-old would have read me.  Besides, I figure when they start to question it they're ready for the truth.  I told him no, he wasn't real, but it was fun to pretend, and he should never tell other kids because it wouldn't be very nice.  To my knowledge, he never did, and some believed into double digits. 

He's an extremely logical/analytical kid though, and he told me he figured it out at Christmas when "santa" used the same wrapping paper I did.  For us, it was just another step in growing up, and I encourage that, even when the steps are hard for me as a mom.

I don't think it was your MIL's place, she could have just as easily said "that's something you need to talk to your parents about" and she wouldn't have been lying.  Seems like more of a power play to me.  Of course, I was not fond of my MIL at all, so I see stuff like that as being petty and manipulative on her part.

[Deleted]

My kids were fairly 'old' when we told them, but I'm pretty sure they both already knew. There were a few years where son was in the know and helped out with sis, got to move presents down, etc. 

mostly they question themselves, I know the neighbors 4 year old is already asking questions. I was always big on the 'what do you think? , and offering plausible options for their questions ( like how does Santa ....). But when they signaled they were ready we let them know. 

Its probably harder for you because they are so close and its ending for both of them at the same time...

As for MIL, you don't have to lie, you say ask your mother if you feel you can't answer in the way I would. Otherwise, if you can't keep my traditions/views, you can't see my kids... 

[violagirl]

Why would a parent lie to their kids in the first place? Kids trust their parents implicitly. I'm sure screaming at them when they started asking questions was more traumatic than the eventual answer would be. 

[Tennesseer]

Mar 31, 2013 11:03:12 GMT -5 Apple said:

My son was around 3 when he figured it out and it seemed random (it was around Easter and he said "Santa Clause isn't real, is he?").  I'm not good at lying, so yeah, even a three-year-old would have read me.  Besides, I figure when they start to question it they're ready for the truth.  I told him no, he wasn't real, but it was fun to pretend, and he should never tell other kids because it wouldn't be very nice.  To my knowledge, he never did, and some believed into double digits. 

He's an extremely logical/analytical kid though, and he told me he figured it out at Christmas when "santa" used the same wrapping paper I did.  For us, it was just another step in growing up, and I encourage that, even when the steps are hard for me as a mom.

I don't think it was your MIL's place, she could have just as easily said "that's something you need to talk to your parents about" and she wouldn't have been lying.  Seems like more of a power play to me.  Of course, I was not fond of my MIL at all, so I see stuff like that as being petty and manipulative on her part.

For me, my mother and Santa had the same hand writing.

[midjd]

My son was around 3 when he figured it out and it seemed random (it was around Easter and he said "Santa Clause isn't real, is he?").  I'm not good at lying, so yeah, even a three-year-old would have read me.  Besides, I figure when they start to question it they're ready for the truth.  I told him no, he wasn't real, but it was fun to pretend, and he should never tell other kids because it wouldn't be very nice.  To my knowledge, he never did, and some believed into double digits. 

He's an extremely logical/analytical kid though, and he told me he figured it out at Christmas when "santa" used the same wrapping paper I did.  For us, it was just another step in growing up, and I encourage that, even when the steps are hard for me as a mom.

That sounds about how I found out - I think I was 3 or 4. I don't remember being at all upset by it.

When DBro was about 10 it came out that he had known "the truth" for several years, but pretended to believe because he was afraid he wouldn't get any gifts if my mom knew

[milee]

Mar 31, 2013 11:12:14 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

I know a mom whose oldest is like 13 and he still doesn't know.

If my child made it to 13 without having the ability to figure this particular "mystery" out, I'd be very worried for him/her. 

[Deleted]

Santa always typed letters in our house and used different papers. 

I agree the yelling and maybe saddness, was probably the worse for them, but I also think its ok for parents to make mistakes and talk to their kids about it. She can sit the boys down and say how much she loved being the Easter bunny, doing peril things for hem and seeing their excitement, and while she's happy with the smart, grown up boys she's raising, he was a little sad that those things were changing and she was surprised and didn't handle it well...

life goes on, it won't scar any of them for life...

[Phoenix84]

"When I first discovered them in my room, I started screaming. I scared the younger one. They were demanding that I say the words "The Easter Bunny isn't real". My oldest kept saying "please just tell me the truth. tell me that you've been lying to me all these years"."

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at your oldest demanding to tell you that you've been lying to him all these years.  Ugh, I'm a bad person .

Anyway, how old were your kids?  I can understanding being upset because it's like some innocence lost and once you stop believing you can never go back. 

I eventually figured it out myself when it seemed silly that a guy in a red suit could visit a couple of billion houses in one night and was all knowing enough to know who was naughty and nice.  I asked my mom to confirm and she did so.  I don't recall how old I was, I am thinking 4th-5th grade, because I'm pretty sure it was before middle school, so I would have been around 10 or so, give or take a year.   

[Phoenix84]

Anyway, once I found out Santa wasn't real, my parents let me eat the cookies laid out for Santa after my younger sister went to bed

[Deleted]

Me too, I actually have some good memories of Christmas/ advent... I wanted to do those things with my kids too...

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2013 11:11:22 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Why would a parent lie to their kids in the first place? Kids trust their parents implicitly. I'm sure screaming at them when they started asking questions was more traumatic than the eventual answer would be. 

because it's fun and it harms noone.   all these people who were so traumatized when they found out their parents had been 'lying' to them for years and how could they ever trust them again, need serious help. 

My kids are 19, 17 and 14 and their gifts still say from santa on them.  my parents did the same thing.  it's fun!

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2013 11:40:23 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Mar 31, 2013 11:17:30 GMT -5 milee said:

. 

He's not a stupid kid and I'm sure he's wondered and he may even be pretending that he still believes. He might be keeping the fantasy alive for his mom, which in itself is maybe a little odd?

More likely alive for the presents, but even so I wouldn't think doing it for his mom, by itself is odd... I don't know their dynamic though...