We're you afraid of the BIG 30!

[Deleted]

We are both turning 28 in 2 months and it seems to be bringing more questions than answers:
- do we want to be together?
- do we want a house?
- do we want kids?
- do we want this or that or what?

WTF do we want? Are we were we are supposed to be? Are we on the right track to where we want to go? WTF?

Are we wasting our 20's? Have we done everything we planed or wanted to do? Are we ready to settle down or not?

Damn it! What? What? We think we have one thing figured out only to doubt it the next day.

Maybe we need a life coach

[Deleted]

I think that your feelings are normal. Since you both have college educations and careers you're supposed to have everything figured out right? Life is just not that simple and easy. As you approach 30 you might feel like you are making choices that are setting you in a path that isn't so easy to change later on. It's a scary thing when you start to limit your options.

[Tennesseer]

To quote John Lennon, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

[Peace77]

Nope was not afraid, was too busy dealing with life.

You don't have to have it all by age 30.  You've got plenty of time to figure it out.

[Peace Of Mind]

Mar 14, 2013 21:58:59 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

We are both turning 28 in 2 months and it seems to be bringing more questions than answers:
- do we want to be together?
- do we want a house?
- do we want kids?
- do we want this or that or what?

WTF do we want? Are we were we are supposed to be? Are we on the right track to where we want to go? WTF?

Are we wasting our 20's? Have we done everything we planed or wanted to do? Are we ready to settle down or not?

Damn it! What? What? We think we have one thing figured out only to doubt it the next day.

Maybe we need a life coach

"Do we want to be together?"  Why would you be asking those questions? 

You guys are so busy trying to figure life out that it sounds like it's passing you by.  Can't people today just enjoy life now and then?  Do you have to analyze everything?! I'm very analytical but it seems you guys take it to the extremes. You are saving money, paying off debt and working at jobs you seem to enjoy. Can't you just do that some more? You have at least 2 more years before your lives end at 30!    Trust me - all that analyzing doesn't prevent one from getting older.   

Stop being afraid and start living each day as it comes and be happy with where you are.

Oh -  I'm a May baby too.  Can I be 30 again with you? 

[NastyWoman]

I decided a long time ago that I am 29, so I get redo's of my twenties for as long as I want.  That's my story and i'm sticking to it 

[Baby Fawkes]

It's not surprising that you are worrying a little about it, but you guys are ahead of so many others in the YM aspect that you can probably cut half of the worries out. You guys have set yourselves up well so it's more of a physical thing than a lifestage thing, but honestly, 30 is no different to late 20's.

In a lot of ways I feel I've reached the best age. Now I just want to stat where I am

[moneymaven]

I'll be 29 in a few months, and I think that will likely be the best year yet. I am looking forward to being the very best me by 30. Don't dwell or delay - live it up, enjoy and be content!

[DVM gone riding]

yeah I started dreading turning 30 at about 28 as well. Really it isn't that bad. I keep forgetting that I am 31 now and think I am just going to forget about turning 32 in a couple of months as well
The worst part for me was even though I was with someone at 28 I was sure I was going to be alone at 30 and I was, still am, 

[InsertCoolName]

Yes I HATED turning 30. Felt like I no longer had 'time' to do anything. 20's are for fun and living and being stupid. 30's and up you have to really be a grown up.

I'll be 35 in a few months and yeah, I have to be an adult and can't do any living anymore. But I guess I'm ok with that now. Cause it doesn't bother me much anymore.


My brothers just turned 28..and the one I get along with..I have been fucking with him. I make sure to tell him he is almost 30 and old every chance I can. I'm evil like that.

[Deleted]

35 was my 'benchmark' age.  I had set a number of goals to achieve by that time.  I had not fulfilled one of the goals, so had to stop and get serious with myself about it and get it done. 

I set my next significant goals for 55, so I think that made 50 a non event for me.  Lets see if I can retire as planned at 55 (plan requires that no one die to allow me to do this).  I'm always really superstitious about wishing or planning and append my thoughts with 'but nothing bad is to happen to anyone in order for me to reach this financial goal'.  
It seems to have worked so far 


Do you want to be together for the next 50 years?  Now would be the time to sort that out.

Do you want kids?  Maybe the question is more like: would we be happy if we had kids & could we stick together throughout the ordeal that kids are!  Kids don't always arrive as planned, so it's more like being happy about the event should it come to pass.

House?  Are you kidding?  You move about every 15 minutes.  I think you better decide whether you want to plant yourself somewhere, or if you are going to stay mobile for the career opportunities.

I'm pretty sure you want WHAT??   because if it isn't a good story and full of drama/excitement, it would hardly get your attention!!

[marvholly]

My 'line in the sand' was 40.

I suspect I will hit another at 70, esp since I am now the 'oldest' in the family after my Dad passed away.

Late DH REFUSED to count after 39.  I gave him a surprise 10 year 'anniversary' party for 49.

[Deleted]

I had a harder time turning 29 than I did turning 30. It dawned on me that I can't stop it from happening anyway, so I decided to enjoy the ride! 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Carl, I am old enough to fondly remember turning 30 AND old enough...to be your mother.

Seriously, go out and enjoy life.  You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.  Find some things you really WANT to do and go do them.  Because, on your deathbed, are you going to regret not having lived the absolutely perfectly planned life...or not having really lived life at all?  Sometimes the best part of life is the unplanned stuff that happens along the way.  

Go, take a break from over-analyzing everything, and do something totally fun and relatively unplanned.  I promise you, if you are otherwise responsible, the rest will fall in to place.

<<<<<<the responsible GRG whose life, despite her best plans, has had some amazing detours and some really deep potholes but who wouldn't trade a minute of it for all the money in the world -- AND who still doesn't know who she WANTS to be when (and IF!!!!!) she grows up.  

[thyme4change]

I know a lot of people (me included) that flipped out at their 28th birthday, but was over it by their 30th birthday.  28 is a really hard birthday for a lot of people.  It is too close to 30 to not realize that you are standing on the train tracks, but so many people are still in transition.  

Just keep working though it.  You will figure it all out in it's own time.

[Cookies Galore]

Mar 15, 2013 8:08:00 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I know a lot of people (me included) that flipped out at their 28th birthday, but was over it by their 30th birthday.  28 is a really hard birthday for a lot of people.  It is too close to 30 to not realize that you are standing on the train tracks, but so many people are still in transition.  

Just keep working though it.  You will figure it all out in it's own time.

Very true. Twenty-eight was right around when I started questioning everything in life. By the time 30 rolled around, I was all "fuck yeah! Life rules as it is!" I'm 31 and my 30s have rocked so far.

[Deleted]

The title of this thread is driving me NUTS!

 I did freak out a little when I turned 30.  I hid in my bed under a pile of blankets.  My friend told me to come over and watch movies with her.  I showed up in my pjs, no makeup...only to find out she had thrown me a surprise birthday party.    My friends and I took the birthday cake to the bedroom, piled up in the bed with the cake, forks, and wine.  Then we proceeded to watch some old lady talk about sex toys.  It was the best birthday ever.

I don't freak out anymore though.  I do joke around that I am 29, but I am actually  37.  I try not to over analyze life or stress about stuff anymore.  Life is too short to constantly be worried about things.  Just live life.

[Deleted]

Age doesn't bother me, yet.  But losing my hair sucks.

[The Captain]

My teen years sucked.

The 20's were better, I had much more control over my destiny.

The 30's were even better - more financial stability, more comfortable in my own skin, etc.

So far the 40's are the best decade yet.  Have a solid family, good job.   I can pretty much afford to do what I want (within reason).  Don't worry about paying the bills, planning for the future.

I am like a fine wine, just keep getting better with age...

[muttleynfelix]

25 was when I was feeling really unsettled by everything. The 1/4 life crisis thing is true.  You've been out of school for a while and wondering is their more to life than this and where the heck are we going from here.  When I turned 28, I was 8 months pregnant with my first, so I was feeling pretty good about everything and more settled and by 30, I felt like I just needed to enjoy my life and enjoy my family.  A year and a half later, that is what i'm doing.  For really the first time in my life, I am just enjoying where I am right now. I'm not anxiously awaiting having a baby or wondering if I really want another. I'm not trying to get another certification in my professional life and I'm embracing my position in the company without worrying about what comes next.  It feels good to finally live in the moment.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I turn 30 in December.  Nope I am not freaking out.  I feel like now I know who I am and what I want so my 30’s are the time to start organizing things so I can get it.   I feel like I have spent my 20’s scrabbling and paying my dues.    I feel like now there is a light ahead of the tunnel and instead of running faster just to be able to stay in the same place, I am going to finally start getting ahead.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

DH turns 40 in a few weeks and he is definitely flipping out because as he put it he’s “on the other side of the hill and all I have left is a downward trajectory”.   Cheery, huh?

<o:p>

I get it because he royally screwed up his 20’s and has had to spend his 30’s playing catch but geeze louise what am I and Gwen?  Chopped liver?

<o:p>

He has this attitude like now that he is 40 all he has left in life is to sit around and wait for death.   He’s more of a drama queen than I am.  <o:p></o:p>

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[Deleted]

Goose is 39 and he thinks he is 90.  I think he is nuts.  He is so much hotter now than he was in his 20's. 

I wouldn't do my teen years over again even if someone paid me.  I thought being a teenager sucked!  I would like my 25 year old body back...but my 37 year old body isn't horrible, it is just different. 

Carl, you think you have toe curling sex now in your 20's....wait until you are in your 30's! 

[Tennesseer]

On the day you turn 30, you will still be the same person you were the day before when you were 29.

On the day you turn 40, you will still be the same person you were the day before when you were 39.

On the day you turn 50, you will still be the same person you were the day before when you were 49.

There is nothing to fear. Besides, you really don't have a choice about aging anyway.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DH thinks his life is over as we know it.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

I should be a smart ass and buy him a walker for his birthday.  Downside of that is he might beat me with it afterwards. 
<o:p>

I’d like to have my 18 year old stomach back, but that’s the price of having a kid.  I wouldn’t trade her for a flat stomach.  Well . . . most days I wouldn’t.  <o:p></o:p>

</o:p></FONT></SPAN>

[movingforward]

Turning 30 didn't bother me.  Now I am getting ready to turn 40 and it is kind of hard to believe another decade has gone by but when I think about it I have more money than ever before, a good job where my opinion appears to be respected, have learned from various mistakes, and people still think I am about 10 yrs younger than my true age (sure that will change at some point but for now I will just be happy about it).  Honestly, my early to mid 30's were not all that great due some personal issues which got much better once I hit 38 so I am hoping my 40's is a great decade for me.  Almost every one I know who is older says their 40's was great for them, plus all the articles and statistics I have read state the same so it must be true, right

[justme]

Geeze, was it a mistake to read this thread! Now you guys have me freaking out about my 28th birthday next year!  I can always count on YM to scare me about something I wasn't even thinking about.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

Boo!





...get it? this is post 3-0...

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

Mar 14, 2013 21:58:59 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Maybe we need a life coach

...I'd go with a vacation... or join a local church group... you'll see how many things you've got right already, or whatever... and happy birthday...

[movingforward]

Mar 15, 2013 9:49:26 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Mar 15, 2013 9:42:07 GMT -5 movingforward said:

Turning 30 didn't bother me.  Now I am getting ready to turn 40 and it is kind of hard to believe another decade has gone by but when I think about it I have more money than ever before, a good job where my opinion appears to be respected, have learned from various mistakes, and people still think I am about 10 yrs younger than my true age (sure that will change at some point but for now I will just be happy about it).  Honestly, my early to mid 30's were not all that great due some personal issues which got much better once I hit 38 so I am hoping my 40's is a great decade for me.  Almost every one I know who is older says their 40's was great for them, plus all the articles and statistics I have read state the same so it must be true, right

eh - I am finishing up the 40's, kind of blew actually.

In my case I was in an accident with head injury and other injuries - dealing with a lot of pain, trouble thinking, scarring, surgery to correct etc.  I should still get another surgery, but I have put it off, it is just cosmetic considerations, but I got the money in the settlement, I want the issue resolved, but I hate having surgery, ya know?  It hurts, it's scary.......the accident was almost 9 years ago. 

Rukh - SO sorry to hear you have been dealing with this for 9 years.  That is terrible.  You just never know what life is going to throw at you. 

[Deleted]