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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 11:49:39 GMT -5
Have you encountered one?
Yesterday one of my direct reports and I went upstairs to eat our lunch, and we sat with 3 other colleagues that we've eaten with in the past. Their whole conversation revolved around what foods are healthy, which aren't, them saying which of these foods they eat/don't eat and why, etc.... Meanwhile, I'm trying to eat my black bean and salsa soup made from canned (but rinsed!) beans and jarred mild salsa. Can't I eat without being made to feel like what I'm eating is garbage?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 8, 2013 11:53:24 GMT -5
Have you encountered one? Yesterday one of my direct reports and I went upstairs to eat our lunch, and we sat with 3 other colleagues that we've eaten with in the past. Their whole conversation revolved around what foods are healthy, which aren't, them saying which of these foods they eat/don't eat and why, etc.... Meanwhile, I'm trying to eat my black bean and salsa soup made from canned (but rinsed!) beans and jarred mild salsa. Can't I eat without being made to feel like what I'm eating is garbage? Don't listen to them? I'm not seeing what the problem is with your lunch. It may be a little high in the sodium, but what the hell, you don't have high blood pressure. ETA: It's not like you were eating a deep fried platter of whatever smothered in gravy and cheese and wahsing it down with a milkshake.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 8, 2013 11:57:05 GMT -5
If I want to eat a deep fried platter of whatever smothered in gravy and cheese, and wash it down with a milkshake, I'm going to do just that. I couldn't care less what someone else thinks of it. They're welcome to nibble lettuce, if that's their preference. I promise not to comment.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 11:57:52 GMT -5
Canned beans and jarred salsa together cannot be called soup!! But it is not an unhealthy meal. Both are pretty good for you.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 8, 2013 12:01:31 GMT -5
I used to work with 2 women that every day would make comments on my lunch. They weren't necessarily bad comments, but they didn't make me feel good either. One day I told her to stop. She got all defensive and spent the next 30 minutes telling everyone that what she was doing wasn't wrong, and "All I did was ask her what she was eating..." I just let her defend herself. I don't know if anyone else thought I was being the PIA, but I thought she made herself look bad by just going on and on about it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 12:01:36 GMT -5
LOL, Arch - it has vegetable broth and spices too! Swamp/mmmhmmm - it wasn't really making me feel bad. I just wanted to say "okay, we get it, tons of things are bad for you, now STFU and eat!"
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 8, 2013 12:05:29 GMT -5
I'm glad it wasn't bothering you, personally, jenny. I've never like a bunch of chatter at lunch. Eat your darned food and then we'll talk! Too many times, you've got one person blabbering away around her half-chewed food, and another waving a fork as though it were a weapon. No, thanks!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 8, 2013 12:05:47 GMT -5
And therein lies the difference between you and me. I went to law school with a certain Fox News commentator who was very interested in what people were eating and wasn't shy about sharing her diet and exercise tips. I once asked her to pass the pepper, and she gave me a little lecture on how good pepper was for you because it was full of copper. I told her I actually like to eat pennies to get my copper.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 12:10:04 GMT -5
I used to work with 2 women that every day would make comments on my lunch. They weren't necessarily bad comments, but they didn't make me feel good either. One day I told her to stop. She got all defensive and spent the next 30 minutes telling everyone that what she was doing wasn't wrong, and "All I did was ask her what she was eating..." I just let her defend herself. I don't know if anyone else thought I was being the PIA, but I thought she made herself look bad by just going on and on about it. I HATE when people comment on my lunch! We eat at our desks, and I want to poke everyone who sits between me and the lunchroom in the eye with a fork when they comment about how good my lunch smells (or not). GRRRRRR.......
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 8, 2013 12:12:27 GMT -5
MJ-is you lunch time like this?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 8, 2013 12:17:36 GMT -5
I don't have to eat my lunch with anyone and I love it I did used to eat with someone who would read the paper to you even if you had your face in a book and were the only other person there.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 8, 2013 12:24:50 GMT -5
Food comments are one of my biggest hair-trigger pet peeves. IMO definitely a situation in which "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" applies.
"Mmm, that looks/smells delicious!" - Thank you! "Oh, that's so unhealthy for you..." - STFU. "You're lucky you can eat such fatty foods and stay thin" - STFU. "That looks... interesting..." - STFU. "Oh, you should eat more than that!" - STFU. "[Anything relating to a diet]" - Boring, don't care, STFU.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 8, 2013 12:30:37 GMT -5
I think the only appropriate food talk would be "oh that smells good, what is it?" or "can I have the recipe?"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 13:12:49 GMT -5
And therein lies the difference between you and me. I went to law school with a certain Fox News commentator who was very interested in what people were eating and wasn't shy about sharing her diet and exercise tips. I once asked her to pass the pepper, and she gave me a little lecture on how good pepper was for you because it was full of copper. I told her I actually like to eat pennies to get my copper. let me guess - she was blonde and had big boobs?
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Mar 8, 2013 13:23:28 GMT -5
My coworker drives me nuts but she isn't really a downer. We order lunch on Fridays usually from the same 3-4 places that deliver. EVERY time lunch is delivered she says "Oh it is so big I don't know how I'm going to eat it all" & usually proceeds to do so. I've taken to responding with it is the same size as last time & you managed just fine.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 8, 2013 13:28:51 GMT -5
And therein lies the difference between you and me. I went to law school with a certain Fox News commentator who was very interested in what people were eating and wasn't shy about sharing her diet and exercise tips. I once asked her to pass the pepper, and she gave me a little lecture on how good pepper was for you because it was full of copper. I told her I actually like to eat pennies to get my copper. let me guess - she was blonde and had big boobs? Bingo. And fake big boobs.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 13:30:57 GMT -5
let me guess - she was blonde and had big boobs? Bingo. And fake big boobs. I love her.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 13:36:11 GMT -5
My coworker drives me nuts but she isn't really a downer. We order lunch on Fridays usually from the same 3-4 places that deliver. EVERY time lunch is delivered she says "Oh it is so big I don't know how I'm going to eat it all" & usually proceeds to do so. I've taken to responding with it is the same size as last time & you managed just fine. Another one that bugs me is when they bring in the delivery order, someone who hasn't even ordered goes in and starts commenting on what everyone else got: "that salad is HUGE!" "you ordered a WHOLE sub Someone must be hungry today!" "I wanted to see what the wings look like from there, since I've never ordered them from there before" Uhhh....they're chicken wings. They look the same everywhere you go.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 8, 2013 13:52:44 GMT -5
Everyone is just trying to validate their own choices, always.
When you keep that in mind, it is easier to ignore them.
Sometimes and answer like "Even though I've always been in my target weight range, I know how hard it is to adjust your diet your meet your own needs and have it be something that works for your body type. I hope you find something that works for you and you can stick with, because that is the best way to be healthy."
So, basically, you just called them fat and stupid without them realizing it.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Mar 8, 2013 14:03:35 GMT -5
My coworker drives me nuts but she isn't really a downer. We order lunch on Fridays usually from the same 3-4 places that deliver. EVERY time lunch is delivered she says "Oh it is so big I don't know how I'm going to eat it all" & usually proceeds to do so. I've taken to responding with it is the same size as last time & you managed just fine. Well, atleast she doesn' t go on and on thru lunch as she's eating complaining about how she won't fit in her new outfit or have to spend 3 hours at the gym or how it's gonna cause her arteries to be blocked or some other negative thing all the while cleaning her plate. I foolishly invited my co-workers to join me for some frozen custard at the Dairy Queen (which no one knew about because it is hidden away underground in an obsure length of the pedway). After getting the treats one of my coworkers preceded to complain about how bad the treat was for her (and us), how she'd never fit into her clothes, that she'd have to run a marathon, that it was taking 5 years off her life... on and on and on even AFTER she had finished her treat. She sucked the Joy out of Ice cream. I had no idea that was possible. We never went as a group for icecream ever again. I don't invite people to join me for 'treats' anymore, either.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Mar 8, 2013 14:09:46 GMT -5
let me guess - she was blonde and had big boobs? Bingo. And fake big boobs. I'm confused...don't ALL the women on Fox have blond hair and fake big boobs? I can't tell them apart honestly.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Mar 8, 2013 14:12:22 GMT -5
I tend to bring leftovers, the guys know I can cook so usually the comments are good. One of the constant talkers has started having lunch in a different break room, so that's nice. I go to the mechanic's break room for the afternoon break, conversation there is "interesting", lol. We are non-PC... There are a few comments when one of the guys has a banana, they share a lot of food in there, make fun of one guy for how much fish he eats (his wife is on a diet and cleaning out the freezer, getting ready for fishing season), joke about sausage (they hunt a lot, so they often have really good sausage/jerky), etc. A couple weeks ago one of them was giving me crap about my homemade crackers (cheese, flour, salt and butter) about how "so those can't be healthy". I told him they might not be healthy, but they're "real" and taste good--he tried some and agreed. A week later he was eating one of those ritz cracker/cheese sandwich things so I had to give him crap about that (same guy gave me crap about my Coke--the one I had that week, lol). A few of them are trying to work out and get in better shape, but they are more fun than serious, so no big deal. We have several who have "gone paleo" though... Most are "whatever" about it--one guy's motto is "if it's free, it's paleo", so he's not self-righteous about it and will eat a doughnut or a cookie, another guy has gotten cult-like and is really annoying. But he still smokes. We just laugh at him (to his face, when he's not around, whatever )
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 8, 2013 14:51:55 GMT -5
[/span]
If you think about this, it is really sad. That is quite a high level of self loathing that a simple treat turns into a rant against yourself. She obviously has an inordinate amount of guilt about her level of self-control, or her body, or her health or all three. People who can't cut themselves a little slack occasionally carry a heavy burden. I suspect that she has real troubles. [/span]
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 15:13:50 GMT -5
...:::"I just wanted to say "okay, we get it, tons of things are bad for you, now STFU and eat!"":::...
I'm sure I've done that, but by the time I actually say it, I feel like its gone much farther, so I go a bit lot farther too... "fries are bad and eggs have high cholesterol and ice cream has fat and sunlight gives you cancer and cell phones give you tumors and they are made by child labor..." and if they haven't backed off by then I keep citing example. Then next time, when they start looking at me like I'm the bad guy (because the instigator NEVER gets in trouble, only the reactor), I'll say "what? You ruined my enjoyment of what I was eating: don't dish it out if you can't take it".
This is the part where my lovely unsupportive wife tells me that I am "embarrassing".
I do need to switch up my game though...
Maybe next time I'll just grin larger and later at them while they rant at me. I'll wait until some key word like "heart attack" and say in a comical exaggerated way "ohhhhh yeah, you're making me want it more and more". Stones!!!! YES!!! YES!!!!
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 15:14:43 GMT -5
Oh and also, when a rant begins, utensils become optional. Look it up.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 8, 2013 15:17:09 GMT -5
WWBG - I suggest to change it up you go with "You must really hate yourself to dwell on crap like this." Short, simple to the point and turns it back on them.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 15:21:24 GMT -5
I remember watching a commercial for a machine that bakes doughnuts instead of frying them. It showed footage of doughnuts being fried (I guess to show how gross it is), and I was all, "damn, I really want a doughnut right now..."
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 15:35:25 GMT -5
...:::"WWBG - I suggest to change it up you go with "You must really hate yourself to dwell on crap like this." Short, simple to the point and turns it back on them.":::...
That could work too. I'd try to guess a little more about the person's motivation. Some people just like to repeat others opinions, or sound learned.
The worst are the ones that are "born again", and now think that their mission is to convert everyone else. What they've forgotten is that no matter how much nagging is done, nobody changes until they, themselves WANT to change. But the born again take that "I used to be like you, and now I'm so much better".
Sometimes I will flat out say "OK, great, you are better than me in every way. Is that what you needed?"
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Mar 8, 2013 15:42:28 GMT -5
[/span] If you think about this, it is really sad. That is quite a high level of self loathing that a simple treat turns into a rant against yourself. She obviously has an inordinate amount of guilt about her level of self-control, or her body, or her health or all three. People who can't cut themselves a little slack occasionally carry a heavy burden. I suspect that she has real troubles. [/span][/quote] No, this woman was very self centered... I think her 'complaining' was some sort of script that really indicated she was enjoying the icecream. Kinda like how someone who wants a B-Day party will say 'No, I don't want a party' when you ask if they want one... and then if you don't throw a party they are pissed at you because you should have KNOWN they wanted a party even though they made a huge fuss about not wanting a party. I think she and her friends would do/and say snotty things as a form of amusement. She'd like to make fun of what people were wearing - she was wise enough not to comment on people at work - but people walking down the street were fair game. She was being the 'fashion police'. She stopped that behaviour when no one would play along with her. We were all really glad when she quit. when there's interviewing going on there's a running joke about how we'd rather not have another Silly Twit hired.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 8, 2013 15:45:12 GMT -5
Am I the only one who gets uncomfortable when people say that they like what you are eating? I never know if I should offer them some or what....
Also, when someone asks you "hey, what is it" and you tell them and they go "oh, that sounds weird/gross/fattening, etc"
One time I was frying eggplant and my MIL made a comment that it didn't smell/looked good. 10 minutes later she asked me why I wasn't offering her any. When I told her that she didn't seem to like it, my DH thought that I was rude.
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