Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Mar 8, 2013 17:07:56 GMT -5
Am I the only one who gets uncomfortable when people say that they like what you are eating? I never know if I should offer them some or what.... Yes, I use to have this happen at work when I changed what I was eating (in an effort to loose weight) and was seen re-heating leftovers or cutting up veggies or fruit or assembling a salad in the 'kitchen'. You don't need to offer them food (even if they seem super interested). They aren't really 'begging' for food. I had a hard time with this. I usually just say 'generic' nice things about my own food. 'Yes, the tomatos were really wonderful looking - I couldn't pass them up!' or "I'm glad you like meatloaf. I used a recipe off the internet and it sure is tasty!" or something along those lines.
Also, when someone asks you "hey, what is it" and you tell them and they go "oh, that sounds weird/gross/fattening, etc" I now usually give a little 'chuckle' when that happens and go "Baked Tofu" (or whatever "icky" thing I'm eating) isn't for everyone. Which is good for me - cause I like it and it means there's more for me! "
One time I was frying eggplant and my MIL made a comment that it didn't smell/looked good. 10 minutes later she asked me why I wasn't offering her any. When I told her that she didn't seem to like it, my DH thought that I was rude. Yeah, I get weird looks and odd comments from family and friends (cause I eat mostly Vegetarian stuff ) when I say what I'm bringing to the 'potluck' but then when the food I brought is served my casserole dish returns to the kitchen empty (and maybe licked clean) and there's talk about that 'butternut squash thing - with lumps of something (chestnuts and white beans) and how good that was! ... UNTIL they find out that was the vegetarian dish... and then their like 'oh, we don't eat vegetarian food'. Yeah, whatever.
I've learned to just Smile and Nod. I dont' think you were being rude. FWIW: my BFF who I asked to do some taste testing of new to me recipes required alot of arm twisting and "but your my best friend!" kinda quilt (which I'm not proud of having done ) has become a willing victim and has even suggested that it's been awhile since she had to 'choke down something she didn't like and then since it was so horrible she had to eat all of it - to save other people from the awfulness' - and maybe I should get busy making some more of that stuff she doesn't like OR I could try some other recipe because maybe she wouldn't like that either but if she doesn't try it she'll never know.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 8, 2013 17:30:31 GMT -5
I remember watching a commercial for a machine that bakes doughnuts instead of frying them. It showed footage of doughnuts being fried (I guess to show how gross it is), and I was all, "damn, I really want a doughnut right now..." Oh, this is really bad, but the few times I've watched that Biggest Loser show, it makes me hungry.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 17:55:30 GMT -5
I felt bad today, a pregnant friend and I took the kids to the science center, ate lunch at the food court, got kids pizza and she got Chinese, and I brought my pear, carrots, hummus and almonds... It wasn't a silent lecture, she knows I'm doing this food thing, but I could tell she found it hard to enjoy her general tso....
on another note, autocorrect said silence center the first time I typed... Wouldn't that be awesome, a silence center for kids, lol ...
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 8, 2013 18:02:03 GMT -5
My friend and I were at lunch today (eating Chinese - what a coincidence) and we were talking about my youngest kid and how funny and easy going he is. He's not only very sunny and cooperative, but if I have to do stuff that bores him, like volunteering or a meeting that runs late, he doesn't complain he just usually falls asleep until the boring part is done at which point he pops up all sunny and ready to go. As he left for school today, he was very excited because they were going to go on a field trip on a chartered bus. The chartered bus thrilled him and he was talking about how great it was that he could watch a movie, talk to his friends and maybe "catch up on his sleep." At this point my friend asks me if maybe he's not really cooperative and laid back, but instead has narcolepsy. I shrugged and told her that there was no way in heck I'm getting that checked out or treated. If narcolepsy is what makes him an easy kid, I'm sticking with it. I know - I'm going to hell.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 8, 2013 18:02:35 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 8, 2013 18:51:26 GMT -5
My friend and I were at lunch today (eating Chinese - what a coincidence) and we were talking about my youngest kid and how funny and easy going he is. He's not only very sunny and cooperative, but if I have to do stuff that bores him, like volunteering or a meeting that runs late, he doesn't complain he just usually falls asleep until the boring part is done at which point he pops up all sunny and ready to go. As he left for school today, he was very excited because they were going to go on a field trip on a chartered bus. The chartered bus thrilled him and he was talking about how great it was that he could watch a movie, talk to his friends and maybe "catch up on his sleep." At this point my friend asks me if maybe he's not really cooperative and laid back, but instead has narcolepsy. I shrugged and told her that there was no way in heck I'm getting that checked out or treated. If narcolepsy is what makes him an easy kid, I'm sticking with it. I know - I'm going to hell. You might want to reconsider having him checked out for narcolepsy. Do you r-e-a-l-l-y want to drive him everywhere for the rest of your life?
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 8, 2013 18:55:39 GMT -5
OK, good point. I'm going to enjoy it until he's 15, though.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 8, 2013 19:01:15 GMT -5
OK, good point. I'm going to enjoy it until he's 15, though. I know you were kidding and probably a damn good parent.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Mar 8, 2013 19:08:09 GMT -5
I have always found that "I don't need your advice, and I'm not interested in your opinion" and/or "I don't owe you an explanation, and I don't need your approval" tends to make the Debby Downers or the givers of unsolicited advice shut up and go away to complain about me to someone else. As long as they're gone, I don't care what they do. On the occasions when one of those doesn't make them go away, "bite me" usually does.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Mar 8, 2013 21:53:10 GMT -5
The food comment I get most often that hate is: You are so skinny you can eat anything, why are eating only a salad/whole wheat bread/fruit/whatever? You can eat anything, you should have the fries and milkshakes! First, I'm 6 feet tall. Second, I've always been slim. Third, I work hard at looking like this-I work out a lot and eat healthy so that I can look like this. What am I supposed to say to people who say this?! Uh, thanks for noting that I'm thin? Or, last night I chowed down on pizza so I'm trying to make up for by having salad today? What I really want to say is get over your own issues, and enjoy your own milkshake! If I wanted one, I promise, I'd order it!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 9, 2013 5:16:31 GMT -5
When people make judgemental comments about my lunch, I just say "Meh. Wait til you see the cigarette I'm having for dessert...."
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 9, 2013 9:08:08 GMT -5
Why are you taking their comments personally? It is just their opinion.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 9, 2013 9:09:11 GMT -5
Besides is there ANY subject people don't bitch and moan about? Food is as good as any! lol
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 9, 2013 9:30:21 GMT -5
...:::"The food comment I get most often that hate is: You are so skinny you can eat anything, why are eating only a salad/whole wheat bread/fruit/whatever? You can eat anything, you should have the fries and milkshakes!":::...
I have a co-worker who has always been thin, and since joining the agency, probably size 0 (maybe 00). I have always kept my mouth shut, but a few others seem to need to make comments like "are you OK" or "are you eating enough". It isn't just jealous women saying these things either. It has to grate on her nerves. I know she does cardio kickboxing and other very active sports. But yeah, she also eats rabbit food.
She returns from maternity leave soon, and I'm sure there have already been bets made on whether she'll return stick thin. Kind of like how Claire treated Gloria on Modern Family.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 9, 2013 9:44:31 GMT -5
Speaking of skinny comments my "favorite" is when people tell me I am so skinny that I need to "eat more". WTF does that mean? Clean out the Golden Corral? You have no idea how much food/calories I pack away so shut up. People seem to assume that I stay this small because I simply don't eat. No I am just this small, so were my grandmothers and my mother is small as well. I let it roll off my back but I do get pissed when they make similar comments about Gwen. She's freaking two do you people REALLY need to start warping her views on food already?!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 9, 2013 10:01:39 GMT -5
Most people mean that as a compliment.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 9, 2013 10:18:08 GMT -5
Or envy, sigh. I used to be skinny and could eat like a pig. No more.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 10, 2013 13:07:44 GMT -5
In all my years of working I never ate lunch in the office or with co-workers. I would leave the office even if Hurricane force winds were blowing. I needed my down time! I ate in resturanats sometimes and brought my lunch sometimes. I would take my lunch, get in my car and go sit in a park or somewhere to eat in peace. Hmmm, maybe I am just anti-social and didn't realize it!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2013 19:43:00 GMT -5
It bothers me when my chubby coworker analyzes my lunch. I am at a healthy weight and always have been. (My lunches are usually leftovers from a home cooked meal.) I don't need some big fat fatty tell me what I am doing wrong. If I want to enjoy a Coke or a donut once in a while, so be it. It's not like I do it every day. When she is thinner than me, I might listen to her advice. This is the same woman that came back from the grocery store with a piece of broasted chicken, creamy coleslaw, and flavored yogurt and bragged about how healthy her lunch was. She said the grocery store clerk even commented how healthy she was eating. I doubt it.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 10, 2013 19:52:06 GMT -5
In what universe is telling someone they should eat more a compliment? If someone walked up to an overweight/obese person and told them they needed to eat less, would that be a compliment?
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grits
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Post by grits on Mar 10, 2013 20:20:47 GMT -5
Meal time conversation is supposed to be pleasant, light, and entertaining. It isn't supposed to cause you indigestion or be a downer. If a person is guilty of breaking any of the three I first mentioned, they are not invited to dine with me.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Mar 10, 2013 20:32:30 GMT -5
Most of the people where I work have become really concerned with healthy eating over the last two years due to health problems. We only have one person left who eats junk food all of the time and smokes. We talk about food and exchange tips, but we never speak negatively about what the unhealthy team member does . So, no, we don't have any Debby Downers, but we do have a One Upper. You name it, they will one up it. It used to drive me nuts, but as I have gotten to know them better, I think it is more about social skills they learned/insecurities than who they actually are or what they want to convey. Finally, I agree with Mid and Drama that unsolicited comments about a person's weight and caloric consumption are not likely to be met with appreciation, no matter what size the recipient is.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 11, 2013 16:09:14 GMT -5
In all my years of working I never ate lunch in the office or with co-workers. I would leave the office even if Hurricane force winds were blowing. I needed my down time! I ate in resturanats sometimes and brought my lunch sometimes. I would take my lunch, get in my car and go sit in a park or somewhere to eat in peace. Hmmm, maybe I am just anti-social and didn't realize it!! You knew it!!! Don't lie!!!
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Mar 12, 2013 8:55:53 GMT -5
Speaking of skinny comments my "favorite" is when people tell me I am so skinny that I need to "eat more". WTF does that mean? Clean out the Golden Corral? You have no idea how much food/calories I pack away so shut up. People seem to assume that I stay this small because I simply don't eat. No I am just this small, so were my grandmothers and my mother is small as well. I let it roll off my back but I do get pissed when they make similar comments about Gwen. She's freaking two do you people REALLY need to start warping her views on food already?! Thank you for saying this. My 6.75yo DD is 38lbs on a good day and I admit I badger her about eating. I simply cannot believe she exists on the little food that she eats. I really really really really really don't want to make food a battle in our house but some days it seriously drives me insane how little she eats. The fact that everyone in her class of 1st graders are 10-30lbs larger than her doesn't help. I'll try harder to be calm and let her be who she is going to be. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.....
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 12, 2013 9:07:47 GMT -5
Speaking of skinny comments my "favorite" is when people tell me I am so skinny that I need to "eat more". WTF does that mean? Clean out the Golden Corral? You have no idea how much food/calories I pack away so shut up. People seem to assume that I stay this small because I simply don't eat. No I am just this small, so were my grandmothers and my mother is small as well. I let it roll off my back but I do get pissed when they make similar comments about Gwen. She's freaking two do you people REALLY need to start warping her views on food already?! Thank you for saying this. My 6.75yo DD is 38lbs on a good day and I admit I badger her about eating. I simply cannot believe she exists on the little food that she eats. I really really really really really don't want to make food a battle in our house but some days it seriously drives me insane how little she eats. The fact that everyone in her class of 1st graders are 10-30lbs larger than her doesn't help. I'll try harder to be calm and let her be who she is going to be. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..... I will trade you the 80 pound 5 year old who wants to eat all the time.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Mar 12, 2013 9:12:09 GMT -5
Thank you for saying this. My 6.75yo DD is 38lbs on a good day and I admit I badger her about eating. I simply cannot believe she exists on the little food that she eats. I really really really really really don't want to make food a battle in our house but some days it seriously drives me insane how little she eats. The fact that everyone in her class of 1st graders are 10-30lbs larger than her doesn't help. I'll try harder to be calm and let her be who she is going to be. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..... I will trade you the 80 pound 5 year old who wants to eat all the time. Parenting sucks. I'm leaving for France.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 12, 2013 9:18:58 GMT -5
let me guess - she was blonde and had big boobs? Bingo. And fake big boobs. I don't watch Fox enough to know which one you're talking about. I don't know if that's good or bad...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2013 9:26:40 GMT -5
TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 12, 2013 9:27:05 GMT -5
It bothers me when my chubby coworker analyzes my lunch. I am at a healthy weight and always have been. (My lunches are usually leftovers from a home cooked meal.) I don't need some big fat fatty tell me what I am doing wrong. If I want to enjoy a Coke or a donut once in a while, so be it. It's not like I do it every day. When she is thinner than me, I might listen to her advice. This is the same woman that came back from the grocery store with a piece of broasted chicken, creamy coleslaw, and flavored yogurt and bragged about how healthy her lunch was. She said the grocery store clerk even commented how healthy she was eating. I doubt it. You work with the Hag too? I'm thinking Nancy's Hag, I don't have one of my own. And boy, did that not come out the way I meant it to.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 12, 2013 9:32:09 GMT -5
Speaking of skinny comments my "favorite" is when people tell me I am so skinny that I need to "eat more". WTF does that mean? Clean out the Golden Corral? You have no idea how much food/calories I pack away so shut up. People seem to assume that I stay this small because I simply don't eat. No I am just this small, so were my grandmothers and my mother is small as well. I let it roll off my back but I do get pissed when they make similar comments about Gwen. She's freaking two do you people REALLY need to start warping her views on food already?! Thank you for saying this. My 6.75yo DD is 38lbs on a good day and I admit I badger her about eating. I simply cannot believe she exists on the little food that she eats. I really really really really really don't want to make food a battle in our house but some days it seriously drives me insane how little she eats. The fact that everyone in her class of 1st graders are 10-30lbs larger than her doesn't help. I'll try harder to be calm and let her be who she is going to be. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..... I swear one of my nieces exists on ham and bread, buttered noodles and milk. She's a skinny kid. But I stopped making comments after her mom (my older sister) mentioned how much DN hated having people comment on it. To be honest, it never occurred to me to stop prior to that. She does eat other things now but I keep my mouth shut. And I try not to have the food wars in my house. DD will be 5 in early May and runs about 45 lbs. She's wearing 5T/6/S, depending on the item.
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