Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Feb 26, 2013 20:08:18 GMT -5
POM, what are those pictures under the number of posts that you have? They are gifts that we can buy for each other. I think the money goes to Proboards, but I'm not sure.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2013 20:12:17 GMT -5
Like raising 8 kids, but being so broke during retirement that you expected them to support you. Let's be real! 6k/month nursing home fees/8 sibs is a better deal than 6k/month/2 sibs! Lets be real, out of 8 how many will be willing and able to pitch in, and how many will be waiting for the old broad to kick so they can sell off her knick knacks...
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NotSoFair
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Post by NotSoFair on Feb 26, 2013 20:20:05 GMT -5
Does anyone look back & think they had too many kids? No, but I regret not having another child, for DS's sake.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Feb 26, 2013 22:23:16 GMT -5
I have no idea how accurate it is, but when DS was younger I read that a way to get an idea of final height was to take their height at age 2 and multiply it by two. DS was over 3 feet tall (maybe 38"?), now he's 15 and almost 6'2! He's always been tall for his age, but he's been taller than me for the last several years. It's weird to have to look up to speak to your pre-teen.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2013 22:42:58 GMT -5
Let's be real! 6k/month nursing home fees/8 sibs is a better deal than 6k/month/2 sibs! Lets be real, out of 8 how many will be willing and able to pitch in, and how many will be waiting for the old broad to kick so they can sell off her knick knacks... I had a department manager quit then came back part time because she wanted to help take care of her m. 6 months after she quit she came back part time and within a year when back to a full time department manager making $32/hr. Why? She said within 6 months of her quitting to help take care of her mother all her siblings stopped helping out, passing by and dumping all the responsibilities on her. Within a year it was like she was the care provider and her mom and siblings started treating her like the help without her getting compensated for it. She has 3 siblings, at the end she decided with her husband she rather come back to work and contribute $$$ to have someone take care of her mom. Same thing happened with my dad and he has 7 siblings. The moment his dad moved in with us, it's like he had no other kids... They stopped helping out financially yet had the nerve to bitch when they did not approve how my step dad was handling certain things. Just because you have 3-6 kids or more does not mean they will fight over whom will take care of you or even kick in $$$ to do so. Some are too happy to that responsibility on their siblings but are the first to ask for their cut of the inheritance when you die.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 9:40:47 GMT -5
<<seriously depressed that I am barely 2 feet taller than an 18mo>> aw, Mid!!! I still heart you!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 9:48:47 GMT -5
My sister said her pediatrician stated the same thing, so she carefully noted their 2 year old height. My first niece blew by that height by age 12, my second niece is still 5 inches shorter than her projected height and is 23 years old, and my nephew is short by 3 inches at 21 years old. My other sister's kids - both are 6 inches shorter than their projected height - 20 and 23 years old. So, at least for my family, I don't have a lot of faith in that method.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 9:51:46 GMT -5
I have no idea how accurate it is, but when DS was younger I read that a way to get an idea of final height was to take their height at age 2 and multiply it by two. DS was over 3 feet tall (maybe 38"?), now he's 15 and almost 6'2! He's always been tall for his age, but he's been taller than me for the last several years. It's weird to have to look up to speak to your pre-teen. Our pediatrician does something like this. She says she is positive that my oldest is going to be 6'4 as an adult. When he went in for his last well child visit, she said he was a perfect sized 10yo (he was 8). I'm very curious if he's really going to be that tall. Nobody in our family is tall. My family is all dwarfs (ok, not literally, but my Mother's entire side hovers around the 5 foot mark. My cousin (4'11") married a guy from a family that is average sized...nobody freakishly tall, anyhow, their 13 year old is now 6'1"!!!
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Feb 27, 2013 10:08:41 GMT -5
My husband, who has a similiar age gap, didn't have the disparity I did, but more because his family didn't do much together, or really much at all. They weren't active, so even though his brothers did a 2 week bike trip - without parents or younger brother, most everything else was car trips, where they went to relative's houses and hung out. Their family time was a lot less active, so the age difference wasn't as big of deal. Maybe it is more the life I want to live that is limiting me. I want to learn to surf this summer - hard to do if I was pregnant. I want to mountain bike, and go to Hawaii. I want to hike the Grand Canyon. I want to ski with my kids. I'm not willing to put that off another 6 years. I've waited long enough. And if I do put it off another 6 years, I won't have time to do all that with my older kids. But, I know plenty of people who boat and camp with small children and just don't feel penned in. That is what they love to do, and they do it. Their experience is totally different. We went to Hawaii twice in the past 3 years. The first time I found out I was pregnant there (that kind of sucked, because I couldn't drink, but I did surf!), but the second time was last January and we just left the 18 month old with my Mom along with the pets. He's still kind of in that category for awhile. LOL Older son came with, but I have family on the islands so he stayed with his cousins while we got a cabin on the beach to ourselves. We are big into camping, hiking and road trips which hasn't been hampered much by a toddler. However, I realize I'm lucky in that both my parents are retired and are willing to take younger son whenever. I hate you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 10:18:39 GMT -5
I have a lot of family there on a couple of the islands. We fly for free using FF miles and they put us up, give us a car to use and get us great deals on private cabins on the ocean (like $80/night) because they're military. For us, it's cheaper than going anywhere else in the lower 48 that we'd have to fly to. However, DH doesn't fly for work anymore and we cancelled our Delta FF miles card, so all the free tickets might be a thing of the past.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Feb 27, 2013 10:50:47 GMT -5
I have a lot of family there on a couple of the islands. We fly for free using FF miles and they put us up, give us a car to use and get us great deals on private cabins on the ocean (like $80/night) because they're military. For us, it's cheaper than going anywhere else in the lower 48 that we'd have to fly to. However, DH doesn't fly for work anymore and we cancelled our Delta FF miles card, so all the free tickets might be a thing of the past. I always wanted to live on the Big Island. I seriously hate winter!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 10:55:56 GMT -5
I have cousins on the Big Island right near the volcano. That island reminds me of MN. Lots of rolling hills and cows. They had a blizzard last week though! My cousin was posting pictures on Facebook. They were snowboarding on Mauna Kea! LOL
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 27, 2013 11:32:00 GMT -5
seriously depressed that I am barely 2 feet taller than an 18mo<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> I hear you. At Gwen’s last appointment she was 2.5 feet tall. That’s exactly half of my height. So depressing to realize she is barely three and only has 2 feet to go before she catches up to me in height. L
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 27, 2013 11:56:14 GMT -5
Is anyone else having problems with this thread? I have seen that at least 2 people have posted by looking at my "participated" button. But I still can only see page 6. I haven't noticed this on any other threads.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 12:01:38 GMT -5
My son gets upset when anyone mentions Charleston or Atlanta, because we went on a trip there before he was born. He is miffed that (a) we had a life before him and (b) that his sister has been in 2 more states than him. I think he feels left out - not that she remembers squadoosh from that trip. She was not even 18 months old.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 12:09:00 GMT -5
Are we having that problem again, where a post doesn't show up until there are multiple posts on the new page? I thought I noticed it yesterday, but today I see the same thing.
hmmmm
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 27, 2013 12:10:47 GMT -5
My sister said her pediatrician stated the same thing, so she carefully noted their 2 year old height. My first niece blew by that height by age 12, my second niece is still 5 inches shorter than her projected height and is 23 years old, and my nephew is short by 3 inches at 21 years old. My other sister's kids - both are 6 inches shorter than their projected height - 20 and 23 years old. So, at least for my family, I don't have a lot of faith in that method. according to that method, i was supposed to be 5'10". I'm 5'4". Oops.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 12:12:20 GMT -5
test
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 12:12:58 GMT -5
Okay - still can't see page 7, and it says swamp quoted me. Are these all marked Moderator only?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 12:13:48 GMT -5
Woo hoo - page 7 has arrived.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 27, 2013 12:14:16 GMT -5
Okay - still can't see page 7, and it says swamp quoted me. Are these all marked Moderator only? I'm leaving you out.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 12:14:42 GMT -5
NNNNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 27, 2013 12:27:31 GMT -5
Now I finally get page 7. Glad I am not the only one having this problem.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Feb 27, 2013 14:55:42 GMT -5
I'm late to this thread and I hope my post shows up since it seems there are some problems...
Anyway, Thyme, I'm sorry for what you went through growing up. That really stinks, to put it mildly. Clearly you learned from it by being such a good mom to your kids and having such a clear perspective.
My experience was somewhat opposite: I was an OOPS baby, but an oops way too soon! My older sister and I are only 15 months apart. I was totally unexpected and my mom clearly was not prepared. However, she adapted and took the "easy" route and treated us like twins: same clothes, same hair, same activities, same friends, etc. Problem was we were polar opposites but I had to do, go, participate, etc. in whatever my sister was doing because that's just how it was. Took me a long time to figure out who I was, that it was ok/normal to be different than her, have different interests and so on. I don't blame my parents - they did the best they could. Mom was a SAHM and my Dad worked a LOT (truck driver) so that she could stay home.
Now that my kids have launched I STILL worry about all the things I did wrong while raising them. Not sure if that will ever go away...
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 28, 2013 13:17:40 GMT -5
Ooh, I can't wait to read the responses.
I always wanted more than one kid. It's a commitment I made to myself a long, long time ago - either I'd have 0 kids, or I'd have 2+ kids. I hated being an only child so much, and I knew I didn't want to do that to a kid of mine (yes, yes, I know, tons of only children are happy as clams - it's a personal hangup, okay?).
I still basically want another kid because my reasons for wanting another one haven't changed... but I'm starting to wish I was okay with sticking with just one child, because now I also have strong reasons for wanting to stop at one, which are as follows:
1. Fear of the unknown. I love Babybird. She is a fantastic baby in every way. I don't think I truly acknowledged to myself how much of a gamble it is to create life not knowing what you're going to get. We hit the jackpot once - now I'm scared to play again, because I feel like there's no way our second kid could be as great as Babybird.
2. Money. Babybird has helped DH and I realign our priorities - we're a family now, not just a couple. As a result, we're doing better than ever financially and if the rest of the year goes the way the past two months have, we'll be in a great financial position by 2014. But there's no denying kids are expensive - and we haven't even hit the real costs yet.
3. Lifestyle. Like I said, I love Babybird - but I didn't have a real understanding of how much our lives would change. A lot of people don't. And while it's fun, having a small baby is very, very hard work. Part of me is hugely tempted to stop at one kid because that way I only have to deal with the hard, annoying, shitty aspects of each kid stage this one time, and then we're done forever. If we have another kid, the clock starts over. (Of course, we get to do all the fun and awesome stuff again too!)
DH wants another kid too, in theory at least, but he shares my reservations. So even though we originally planned to have our babies close together, the new plan is to wait at least 2-4 years before we try again. Hopefully by then I'll have some perspective and I can really be honest with myself about whether or not another kid makes sense for us... and find a way to deal with it if we decide the answer is no.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 28, 2013 13:34:36 GMT -5
I know there is always the exception, but no decent parent will ever admit they are sorry they had any of their kids for any reason whatsoever.
thecaptain - I disagree. I think you can be a decent parent and still admit that it would have been better for you not to have reproduced at a certain time in your life for whatever reason. That's not the same as saying you're sorry your children exist. I was as careful as I could possibly be and I waited until I was in pretty much the ideal position before having kids, my child is incredible, I don't regret a single thing and yet I still have moments of doubt and moments where I ask myself what the hell I was thinking. I can only imagine how much that must be magnified when a pregnancy was originally unwanted or circumstances are difficult. I especially can't imagine how single parents without a huge support network manage without losing their marbles. That blows my mind. muttleynfelix - I hope if DH and I add another kid to the family, our experience will be as good as yours has been so far! I'm so happy things are going well for you guys, especially after you had that disaster of a pregnancy. It just has me thinking, why do we tell people to be so careful when deciding to have children? If a person knows they want kids & no one actually regrets having more children, yet they often regretting not having enough kids, then why advise against it?
Angel - Are you kidding? We tell people to be careful because it's the biggest fucking decision they'll ever make in their lives. I would absolutely have regretted not having children, because I wanted them so badly - but the truth is that it's certainly easier and cheaper not to have them. If people don't desperately want children, I think it's better not to have them in many cases (which isn't to say that people who get pregnant by accident can't ever be good parents, it happens all the time). The biggest twofold piece of advice I give young people in my life is to 1) be really, REALLY careful about birth control and choice of sexual partners because you should 2) think really, REALLY hard before you have children. If it's not the right path for you, there's no shame in not doing it. Just make sure you pick a partner that feels likewise, whatever you decide. So somewhat hoping she gets pregnant with twins Oh yeah, that's the other reason I'm scared as hell to try again. I'm on the fence about kid #2 - but there's no question in my mind about kid #3+. DO NOT WANT. I am really, really, really sure that I only want two children at most. If I knew for sure I would get pregnant with twins on a second try, I would stick with just Babybird. The odds are against it, but that possibility scares the living shit out of me.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 28, 2013 13:40:26 GMT -5
Firebird - the second kid was more work at first, and then became less work over time. When my son was a baby, my daughter would go back into the bedroom and bring me the diapers and wipes, and I would change him on the floor (on a changing pad.) If I kept trash bags in the changing pad pocket, I could tie it up and my daughter could take it to the trash. I didn't do that every time, because I still felt like I needed to wash my hands, etc. But, it seemed like less work. And, my daughter would hang out during tummy time, and "play" with my son. When they got older, they would play together. To this day, I can tell them to go entertain each other. So much less work than if I had to play games, or whatever, so my kid wouldn't get lonely.
Also, it is absolutely possible to love your children equally.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 28, 2013 13:41:06 GMT -5
Our pediatrician was right on with DSs height but an inch short for DDs. DD still complains about being "shorted!"
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 28, 2013 13:46:55 GMT -5
1. Fear of the unknown. I love Babybird. She is a fantastic baby in every way. I don't think I truly acknowledged to myself how much of a gamble it is to create life not knowing what you're going to get. We hit the jackpot once - now I'm scared to play again, because I feel like there's no way our second kid could be as great as Babybird. My DB & I were with my Mom one day & she said something like "When you have one kid you just know there is no way you could ever love another child that much." I busted out laughing at that & asked my (younger) DB how he felt about that. She continued by saying you find out that you do love a 2nd child just as much as the first. I agree with her, now that I have 2 & have experienced it for myself. You don't have less love for the oldest because you have another & you 2nd isn't somehow loved less or less special than the oldest. Somehow you just love them both with all your heart.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 28, 2013 13:50:52 GMT -5
DS definitely helps out all the time, so DD is less work than DS was at her age. It sounds bad because I am always asking him to do stuff for her, but he is at an age where he absolutely loves it. He feels special knowing he is her big brother & takes good care of her. I'm guessing that will end eventually though Yesterday she wanted an orange & he not only got her an orange, but peeled it for her too without being asked. It was really sweet (and meant I didn't even have to get off the couch).
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