nogooddeed
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Post by nogooddeed on Nov 11, 2012 14:38:52 GMT -5
Why would a man risk losing everything like Petraeus? A man who had to know everything he did was subject to investigation. Was it an emotional decision - feeling good about himself that a late 50 something could bang a much younger woman? Was it that the mistress was younger and more attractive than a dowdy 50 something wife? Was it that after 37 years of marriage, sex, if it still happened with the wife, was boring? A combination of all 3? Opinions, please.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 11, 2012 15:12:51 GMT -5
I'm not a guy, but my opinion, FWIW: it had almost nothing to do with sex.
I think that for anyone to get to a very high position of power requires a certain level of narcissism. This isn't necessarily a bad thing - some narcissism is healthy.
But often, once someone reaches this position, the narcissism begins to feed upon itself. They begin doing things just because they can... and who's going to stop them? They engage in riskier and riskier behavior, and the longer they get away with it, the worse it becomes.
Cases in point: John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Charlie Sheen.
I think that many in power view themselves as untouchable and figure that even if they're caught, nothing will happen. Either that, or the risk of losing it all is part of the thrill.
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constanz22
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Post by constanz22 on Nov 11, 2012 15:18:34 GMT -5
Mid, my response was almost identical to yours.
I'm not a man either, but it seems most of these politicians, men in power, famous athletes, movie stars, etc. do have that narcissism, and feel either like "they won't get caught" or they even enjoy the thrill and the dangerousness. I don't think it's really about sex either.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2012 17:47:54 GMT -5
Apparently Petraeus got busted when his mistress broke into his email to send threatening emails to another mistress. That mistress reported it to the FBI. So there was a crazy amount of recklessness.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 11, 2012 18:08:51 GMT -5
I don't know what would possess a man to do it, and I'm grateful for that fact.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2012 18:51:18 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2012 18:57:09 GMT -5
I knew it was the biographer as soon as the news said it was an extramarital affair. I think it isn't power or sex. It is someone who thinks you are "interesting" in a really intense way. It happened to Jack Welch at GE, John Edwards and his videographer (or whatever), and now Petraeus.
Most of us don't listen that well, but a biographer wants to know "everything" about you. She (in these cases) is intensely sympathetic to your explanation of anything that hasn't worked out the way you wanted it to, etc.
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jaya3300
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Post by jaya3300 on Nov 11, 2012 21:02:59 GMT -5
Because he was thinking with his other head and because he could
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 11, 2012 21:04:31 GMT -5
I vote for "because he could".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 7:23:29 GMT -5
I don't think he did it because he could. I think he did it because the younger woman made him feel important and young again. She probably stroked his ego (and a lot more) whereas many times when you have been married a long time your spouse no longer does those things. The mistress probably laughed at all his jokes and made him feel alive.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 12, 2012 9:21:49 GMT -5
Apparently this woman really stroked his ego - the book she wrote about him was a fawning tribute. She was younger, she was hotter, and she made herself available. I've seen a woman like this in action - they adher themselves to famous or powerful men so they can bask in some reflected glory. There have always been women eager to be mistresses to royalty or business/government leaders.
The general also probably considered her 'safe' because she was married herself, with two boys. She would have had a vested interest in keeping the affair private.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 9:44:47 GMT -5
I was hoping to read what more men think.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 9:47:43 GMT -5
Most of the people posting on this thread are real men. Well, except for Virgil.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 12, 2012 9:48:45 GMT -5
I was hoping to read what more men think. Other than Virgil who can't understand why men have affairs, we havent heard for the guys.
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constanz22
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Post by constanz22 on Nov 12, 2012 9:54:07 GMT -5
I think it's interesting that the men have stayed far, far away from this thread. LOL!
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Nov 12, 2012 10:44:20 GMT -5
Maybe it was just physical? Take a look at the pictures of his wife compared to the mistress. How difficult is it to believe that he was more sexually interested in someone prettier and younger?
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Nov 12, 2012 11:23:33 GMT -5
Well, I'm just guessing like most of the women here. I'm not in a relationship with one woman let alone more than one. So it's as much of a mystery to me as it is to you.
I agree with mid's assessment.
To become really successful, you need a certain amount of narcissism. And once you're in a position of power, especially one like the good general where everyone follows your orders without a second thought, it's easy to start thinking you can do anything and get away with anything. You start pushing the even lope just a little bit more and then a little bit more, and then you get busted.
Not that I'm excusing the behavior, but I also think it's because the opportunity is always there. For whatever reason, women are attracted to power. If you're Tom Bradey or Tiger woods or General Petraus, you probably have lots of women coming out of the woodwork wanting to be your mistress. I've even heard it's common for married ministers and priests to get propositioned.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 11:49:34 GMT -5
Why?
Because at times, men are idiots
It is as simple as that.....opportunity + ego = affair
When a sexy young thing makes it apparent that what you see is "ready, willing, and available" it takes a lot of willpower to say no
Many men are tempted....and a number of them succumb
As i said...men sometimes are idiots
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 12, 2012 11:53:12 GMT -5
Why? - I hardly find that an interesting question. these things happen all the time, and likely many are never "discovered". The more interesting question is: whose career will be more impacted? He has resigned, but is overall well respected and people think he will be back. His transgression was a lapse of personal judgement - not a professional one, although it was considered a security risk, and hence his resignation. Hers on the hand? Her entire biography, already considering to be super positive, is now trash. No one can think of it as an objective work. Her dissertation was also based on him, so her academic credentials take a huge hit too. Also - she issued threats to someone else - she is filed under fawning nutjob, I doubt her career can make a comeback.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 14:16:05 GMT -5
Why? Because at times, men are idiots It is as simple as that.....opportunity + ego = affair When a sexy young thing makes it apparent that what you see is "ready, willing, and available" it takes a lot of willpower to say no Many men are tempted....and a number of them succumb As i said...men sometimes are idiots Well said. This has been my experience, even with nice happily married men, who have no desire to leave their wife. Sometimes they are just dumb, but have enough ego to think they won't get caught. Though how a political figure can think they won't get caught is beyond me.
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dividend
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Post by dividend on Nov 12, 2012 14:31:46 GMT -5
I don't think this is a good reason for him to have to resign. He's been doing a brilliant job, and really, that should be what matters. An affair is only a security risk if he's susceptible to blackmail. So, make the affair public and you disarm any potential blackmail. I'm not sure why we make such a big deal about men who have affairs. Does it suck for their wife / family? Sure. Does it impact their ability to do what ever it is they do brilliantly? Not at all. I mean, I wouldn't fire my dentist if I found out he was cheating on his wife, because that has absolutely nothing to do with how well he cares for my teeth. So he banged a woman who wasn't his wife. So what?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 12, 2012 14:47:24 GMT -5
I wonder why everyone is focused on him...from what I read, she is also married and has two young children. Why is no one questioning her motivation? She also has a lot to lose....sometimes people (not just men or women) do really stupid things...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 12, 2012 14:48:26 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 12, 2012 14:49:20 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out. Oh, she's a certifiable nutjob...that's a chance you take when you bag a young thang :-p
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 14:49:45 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out. Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 12, 2012 14:51:14 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out. Oh, she's a certifiable nutjob...that's a chance you take when you bag a young thang :-p I'm thinking it was a horrible miscalculation on his part. He's thinking he's got a hot over achiever with as much to lose as he does. Too bad she's fruity.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 12, 2012 14:51:27 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out. Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress? LMAO! I remember that...lesson to the guys out there....women are nuts...keep your pants zipped and you won't get hurt
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 12, 2012 14:51:38 GMT -5
i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out. Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress? that's a lot of work to yell at someone. wouldn't it be easier to email them?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 12, 2012 14:52:11 GMT -5
Oh, she's a certifiable nutjob...that's a chance you take when you bag a young thang :-p I'm thinking it was a horrible miscalculation on his part. He's thinking he's got a hot over achiever with as much to lose as he does. Too bad she's fruity. The kicker is, she DID have a lot to lose..she just didn't give a shit
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 12, 2012 14:52:40 GMT -5
Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress? that's a lot of work to yell at someone. wouldn't it be easier to email them? Am I not remember correctly? I thougth she was going there to either harm or kill the other women?
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