Petraeus affair - a question for the guys

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 14:52:40 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:51:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

that's a lot of work to yell at someone.

wouldn't it be easier to email them?

Am I not remember correctly? I thougth she was going there to either harm or kill the other women?

I have no idea what she was going to do. But it still sounds like a lot of work.

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 14:52:11 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:51:14 GMT -5 swamp said:

I'm thinking it was a horrible miscalculation on his part. He's thinking he's got a hot over achiever with as much to lose as he does.

Too bad she's fruity.

The kicker is, she DID have a lot to lose..she just didn't give a shit

Or she's as much of a narcissist as he is and thought she wouldn't get caught.

[Miss Tequila]

Nov 12, 2012 14:53:30 GMT -5 swamp said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:52:40 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Am I not remember correctly? I thougth she was going there to either harm or kill the other women?

I have no idea what she was going to do. But it still sounds like a lot of work.

Lesson to the men...if you are going to cheat, do it with a slacker

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 14:54:07 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:53:30 GMT -5 swamp said:

I have no idea what she was going to do. But it still sounds like a lot of work.

Lesson to the men...if you are going to cheat, do it with a slacker

Apparently, I'm the one to cheat with, lol!

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2012 14:54:07 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:53:30 GMT -5 swamp said:

I have no idea what she was going to do. But it still sounds like a lot of work.

Lesson to the men...if you are going to cheat, do it with a slacker

The traditional advice was to have an affair with someone else who has something to lose if it gets found out. Is this a seachange?

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 14:55:20 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:54:07 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Lesson to the men...if you are going to cheat, do it with a slacker

The traditional advice was to have an affair with someone else who has something to lose if it gets found out. Is this a seachange?

That's still sound advice. but you have to make sure she's not crazy. and just in it for the sex.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2012 14:51:27 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:49:45 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress?

LMAO! I remember that...lesson to the guys out there....women are nuts...keep your pants zipped and you won't get hurt

fatal attraction was a good reminder.....

talk about crazy women

man...that movie scared the crap out of me

[alabamagal]

Nov 12, 2012 14:31:46 GMT -5 dividend said:

I don't think this is a good reason for him to have to resign. He's been doing a brilliant job, and really, that should be what matters.
An affair is only a security risk if he's susceptible to blackmail. So, make the affair public and you disarm any potential blackmail.
I'm not sure why we make such a big deal about men who have affairs. Does it suck for their wife / family? Sure. Does it impact their ability to do what ever it is they do brilliantly? Not at all. I mean, I wouldn't fire my dentist if I found out he was cheating on his wife, because that has absolutely nothing to do with how well he cares for my teeth.
So he banged a woman who wasn't his wife. So what?

Well this guy was head of the CIA, that makes him a HUGE security risk if he is having an affair. Also, he can be prosecuted if he was having an affair prior to leaving the military.

I am not up on all the security clearance stuff, but having an affair probably prevents you from having the highest level, and thus you can not do your job as CIA director.

The CIA director having an affair is a little different than your dentist having an affair. Worst case, your dentist may blab that certain people are not flossing like they should.

[milee]

I don't think the affair was even the biggest concern, it's that he may have inappropriately shared secrets with his mistress. There is scuttlebutt that the email trail the FBI found exposed both the affair and possible sharing of state secrets. That's a problem no matter how one feels about infidelity.

[zibazinski]

Well, it's sad. Even the best of people can get worn down if someone just keeps on them and on them. No one is totally immune.

[Phoenix84]

"Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress?"

That's the other side of the equation that often doesn't get looked at, the mistriss. When an affiar happens it's usually the man who gets all the publicity.

What I want to know is why do women cheat with married men? Is it just low self esteem, or they figure he's already married so he must be all that, or what? I couldn't imagine having a relationship with someone who was married. What's the psychology behind valuing yourself so little you have to "settle" for an already married man twice your age?

And why does the mistriss usually escape the public spotlight scott free?

[Phoenix84]

Yeah, the being a national intellegence kingpin is a bit different than your dentist. I agree with you that for most jobs it's fine, but when you're that important to the whole country, you can't leave any weakness that enimies can exploit. Remember, it's classic spy menuvering to send a female spy to seduce a man in power and spill secrets.

[Deleted]

I have no idea why they would do it - other than the previously listed causes.

All I know is that when that story came out I was asked the same question by my wife, who whenever a story like this comes out, gives me the evil eye.

[jaya3300]

Nov 12, 2012 14:48:26 GMT -5 swamp said:

i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out.

Cause she thought she was going to intimidate the "other" woman in her lover's life

[jaya3300]

Nov 12, 2012 14:47:24 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I wonder why everyone is focused on him...from what I read, she is also married and has two young children. Why is no one questioning her motivation? She also has a lot to lose....sometimes people (not just men or women) do really stupid things...

Cause of the two, he's the bigger fish. She's already been labeled a conniving crazy two timing home wrecking seductress

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 18:14:36 GMT -5 jaya3300 said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:48:26 GMT -5 swamp said:

i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out.

Cause she thought she was going to intimidate the "other" woman in her lover's life

I don't get that thought process. She's the other woman, so it's not like she's top dog in this relationship.

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 17:30:09 GMT -5 @foodiedad said:

I have no idea why they would do it - other than the previously listed causes.

All I know is that when that story came out I was asked the same question by my wife, who whenever a story like this comes out, gives me the evil eye.

Really?! Your wife gives you the stink eye because some dude youve never met is banging someone other than his wife? People screw around on their spouse every day, but it doesn't have any effect on my marriage, unless it's me or my husband screwing around

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 18:16:44 GMT -5 jaya3300 said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:47:24 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I wonder why everyone is focused on him...from what I read, she is also married and has two young children. Why is no one questioning her motivation? She also has a lot to lose....sometimes people (not just men or women) do really stupid things...

Cause of the two, he's the bigger fish. She's already been labeled a conniving crazy two timing home wrecking seductress

Well, sending the email was pretty crazy....

[8 Bit WWBG]

I think affairs are primarily about getting something you feel you are currently lacking. That may be some combination of sex, emotional fulfillment, validation, excitement, opportunity, ego boost, "respect" (in quotes)...

I've never SERIOUSLY considered an affair, but I've certainly wondered every now and then whether I'd get what I feel I'm missing. On a few occasions, I've considered that even the possibility of getting it is worth the risk, and possibly even the penalty. I've wondered whether all the things I give DW so regularly that I feel she takes for granted, would just plain and simply get me a better ROI elsewhere. I hope it never gets to the point where I'm so burned out over it, that I take the next step.

I also realize that its easy for two parties to overlook the good when they are so focused on the bad. As the saying goes, its like breathing: you notice it the most when you aren't doing it regularly. But its easy to get mad at a spouse for being late or inconsiderate, and forget about something nice he/she did the other day if you let it.

The wealthy/powerful/famous/good looking... also always have a steady stream of people who want to be with them, and who will cross almost any boundary to do so for a short time. A friend was a bouncer in a club, and told me that sometimes when athletes are in town, women will pay just for a chance to walk by the guy's view hoping to be noticed. Some have no problem being the "<insert city> girlfriend". Some have no problem having a child just to secure an income stream.

I suppose I'm also unique in that I figure everyone has some dirt, and so long as they do their jobs well, its probably best to let them be who they are in their personal lives.

[Phoenix84]

"Cause of the two, he's the bigger fish. She's already been labeled a conniving crazy two timing home wrecking seductress."

I get that Petraus is the bigger fish. But that still doesn't answer the question as to why women engage in sexual relations with married men. I think it's just as valid as the OP's question as to why married men cheat with women who aren't their wives.

[swamp]

Why do I think married women cheat? They aren't getting the attention they want for their husband. Or because they can.

[jaya3300]

Nov 12, 2012 18:17:27 GMT -5 swamp said:

Nov 12, 2012 18:14:36 GMT -5 jaya3300 said:

Cause she thought she was going to intimidate the "other" woman in her lover's life

I don't get that thought process. She's the other woman, so it's not like she's top dog in this relationship.

Apparently Broadwell (or whatever her name is) wanted to be the "only" mistress.

[swamp]

Nov 12, 2012 19:12:25 GMT -5 jaya3300 said:

Nov 12, 2012 18:17:27 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't get that thought process. She's the other woman, so it's not like she's top dog in this relationship.

Apparently Broadwell (or whatever her name is) wanted to be the "only" mistress.

That's the equivalent of being the fastest person in the slow heat.

[jaya3300]

Why do people cheat? Cause they're bored with their spouse, bored with their life, it's exciting, their ego needs stroking, cause they can, cause they want to, cause they don't care about consequences, cause there is no consequences Take your pick.

[Nazgul Girl]

Nov 12, 2012 14:49:45 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Nov 12, 2012 14:48:26 GMT -5 swamp said:

i'm wondering why she sent the emails. it sounds like Broadwell and Petraeus were keeping it under wraps just fine until the email went out.

Women are insane. Don't you remember that astronaut that put on a diaper and went on a 1500 mile drive to yell at her lover's other mistress?

We thought that there were certain similarities in the two cases. It seems as if a woman is having an affair with a powerful man, that she takes on some of his reflected glory as being her own, plus gets very possessive about him. All common sense seems to go out of the window.

Same thing happened with Rielle Hunter/John Edwards. All of a sudden, Rielle felt qualified to give interviews explaining why Edwards' marriage was over and his wife didn't love him and was not good for him. Huh ? She's nuts, too.

But, you have to wonder about Patraeus' judgment, too. I noticed a picture of him taken holding hands (or something ) with Broadwell in front of a military-looking flag display. Why would the CIA director/retired general allow himself to be photographed like that ? Dumb. ( Scroll down to see the picture ).

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2231770/David-Petraeus-scandal-Paul-Kranz-father-mistress-Paula-Broadwell-stands-daughter.html

[milee]

Nasturk, take another look at that picture. They're not holding hands, they're shaking hands. Like is often done with casual acquaintances or someone you are formally congratulating and having a "photo op" with (which is what this picture appears to be.) Nothing at all suggestive in the picture, IMHO.

[zibazinski]

Well, he played and he paid.

[Deleted]

I'm assuming that this guy has a huge ego, she probably was fawning all over him, and probably put himself in many bad situations where he let his emotions take over. Men are scoundrals for the most part, so the only defense against that is to keep yourself out of trouble by not putting yourself in those situations.

[Golden Cavalier]

The kicker is, she DID have a lot to lose..she just didn't give a shit

I don't think it was even a case of her not giving a shit. I believe she felt she was too smart to get caught. She looks like an arrogant, egotistical, condescending beeyotch, who probably thought she was under the direct protection of the Director of the CIA. No one would dare mess with her.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Nov 12, 2012 23:17:50 GMT -5 Golden Cavalier said:

The kicker is, she DID have a lot to lose..she just didn't give a shit

I don't think it was even a case of her not giving a shit. I believe she felt she was too smart to get caught. She looks like an arrogant, egotistical, condescending beeyotch, who probably thought she was under the direct protection of the Director of the CIA. No one would dare mess with her.

Interesting article as to how this was tracked back to Broadwell. Apparently the emails (which were sent from multiple accounts) were sent through hotel WiFi. FBI tracked down the hotel guests by time and hotel, and apparently the hotel locations corresponded with her book tour.