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Post by robbase on Jul 6, 2011 12:52:21 GMT -5
expect a visit from the SEC, I just reported you
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Post by robbase on Jul 6, 2011 12:53:04 GMT -5
expect a visit from the SEC, I just reported you
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 6, 2011 13:00:06 GMT -5
This must be serious, I've been reported twice
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 6, 2011 15:52:22 GMT -5
hmm, I just posted the retirement calculators on my facebook so my 30-something friends can look into it.... was that taboo? I don't think so but will it tell you how many times it's used? Not posted for everyone to see but somewhere behind the scenes for you.
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trimatty471
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Post by trimatty471 on Jul 6, 2011 19:13:22 GMT -5
I can honestly say that I do hide my success. As a single woman with no kids, I get hit from every direction.
I do not share info with my family because I know (from past experience) that they would treat me like an ATM.
I have some friends and acquaintances who would be jealous. Even the ones who make nearly twice what I make and those who are married act jealous.
Also from just watching and listening, some people do not tell the truth. For instance I have this one girlfriend who always brags about her raises, salary and promotions. But recently she told our crew how much a office cut her pay and when I did the calculations, I figured out that she does not make nearly as much as she say she does.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 6, 2011 20:28:29 GMT -5
Plus, deadbeat men come out of the woodwork. When I was single I lied and said I didn't own my own place but rented and I still had 2 different guys kinda sorta ask about moving in and paying me "rent." Yeah, right. Like I just got off the boat. If they'd have known I owned it and rentals free and clear, I'd have never gotten rid of the leeches. I had barely dated either of them and stopped dating them immediately after the conversation. Otherwise, I'd have ended up like Doxie with some freeloader. I already had 2 kids to care for, didn't want to support 3. I had a girlfriend tell me to never, ever tell a guy that I had 2 nickels to rub together because they'd try to get them from me. You are smart to keep your mouth shut to all.
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Elderkind
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Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty....
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Post by Elderkind on Jul 6, 2011 22:07:19 GMT -5
My brother has stated many times in the past that his wife makes close to $100K but the rest of the family has been raising an eyebrow at that because she works for Verizon as a phone technician & sales person...Someone in the business told me that they make between $40-50K... Not anywhere near $100K... And if by some great miracle she is making $100K, why don't they have more than two nickles to rub together and continually borrow money from both their parents? Seriously...
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dcmetrocrab
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Post by dcmetrocrab on Jul 6, 2011 23:48:27 GMT -5
There's a thin line with this. Depends on the situation, social group, personalities involved, and the execution. The YM posts that some people complain of as being boastful, are ones that I enjoy reading because I hope to learn from them. However! I feel it's very easy to slide into tacky waters in real life. Unless stated in a tactful manner with full understanding of the audience, it's very easy to ruffle feathers. There are only a select few that I speak to about finances in a generic sense, (how to save money at the grocery store, is it better to buy used or new? etc) and I never talk about my own salary or raises or savings. With my close group of friends and with my current coworkers, I guesstimate SO and I are at the bottom of the salary heap and riding the mean with net worth, so I never feel I'd be soliciting envy in that regard.
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Jul 7, 2011 5:09:58 GMT -5
Speaking of "financial success", yesterday I posted at my office offering some 14k antique rings that I have for sale from a lot of scrap gold. (This is a custom at our office, and there is actually an email address set up for people with things to sell ).
Our personal office leech, who is actually quite nosy also, got all excited about the rings and asked me how much I had paid for them. I told her they were part of a group and that I couldn't get into prices. Then she started telling me about her wedding ring and about how she wants to sell it to pay off her divorce attorney ! Then she started to talk about the wedding set that she wants if she ever gets married again.
Then she wanted to know why I didn't wear the set I had gotten from my husband. I explained why. She told me that if I had the money, I should flaunt it. I told her I didn't. Then she wanted to know how big the diamond was in the set, and of what purity. Then I told her, and said that it was at the bank anyway, because I never wear it.
Then, because she was so agog that I was the possessor of such a thing, and because she thinks I'm a hick living in a hut with a billy goat tied out back, I told her that I'm really a millionaire in disguise. That got her all excited, so I cut her off by saying, " If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be working here ! " That really set her head spinning, so evidently I gave her a lot to think about and shut her up at the same time. It was great !!! ;D
Now, she doesn't know whether I'm a millionaire in disguise or not ! I won't even give her a Kleenex or a cracker because she doesn't pull her fair share of the work, comes in late all of the time, and is always whining to her coworkers for Kleenex, crackers, quality hand lotion, pain medication, and whatever she can get her hands on.
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Post by robbase on Jul 7, 2011 6:01:44 GMT -5
yes I hide it. It is in the basement along with the dead bodies. Do you think anyone else will find it?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2011 6:46:09 GMT -5
Plus, deadbeat men come out of the woodwork. When I was single I lied and said I didn't own my own place but rented and I still had 2 different guys kinda sorta ask about moving in and paying me "rent." <snip> I had a girlfriend tell me to never, ever tell a guy that I had 2 nickels to rub together because they'd try to get them from me. You are smart to keep your mouth shut to all. I wish I'd talked to your girlfriend before I married my Ex. Even before we'd married, I'd bought him a new Camaro and paid for the custom-made drapes and matching furniture coverings in his condo. I also bailed him out of a few financial obligations and paid for some deep-sea fishing trips. If I had any spare money, he had the emergency. I cringe now thinking about it almost 30 years later. It only got worse after we married. Men aren't all like that. I met current DH in a theology class just after I'd separated from my first husband and we got to know each other for a year before the divorce was final and we started dating. I was pretty sure he wasn't a money-grubbing leech, and I was right. But if I were ever single again, I'd be VERY wary of letting on that I was doing anything beyond living on what I made. And, to be fair, women can be like that, too. My hair stylist dates a guy who picked her up the first few dates in a beater car. Turned out he had an expensive sports car in the garage, but he didn't want it to be a magnet for gold diggers.
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Havoc
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Post by Havoc on Jul 7, 2011 6:57:52 GMT -5
Speaking of "financial success", yesterday I posted at my office offering some 14k antique rings that I have for sale from a lot of scrap gold. (This is a custom at our office, and there is actually an email address set up for people with things to sell ). Our personal office leech, who is actually quite nosy also, got all excited about the rings and asked me how much I had paid for them. I told her they were part of a group and that I couldn't get into prices. Then she started telling me about her wedding ring and about how she wants to sell it to pay off her divorce attorney ! Then she started to talk about the wedding set that she wants if she ever gets married again. Then she wanted to know why I didn't wear the set I had gotten from my husband. I explained why. She told me that if I had the money, I should flaunt it. I told her I didn't. Then she wanted to know how big the diamond was in the set, and of what purity. Then I told her, and said that it was at the bank anyway, because I never wear it. Then, because she was so agog that I was the possessor of such a thing, and because she thinks I'm a hick living in a hut with a billy goat tied out back, I told her that I'm really a millionaire in disguise. That got her all excited, so I cut her off by saying, " If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be working here ! " That really set her head spinning, so evidently I gave her a lot to think about and shut her up at the same time. It was great !!! ;D Now, she doesn't know whether I'm a millionaire in disguise or not ! I won't even give her a Kleenex or a cracker because she doesn't pull her fair share of the work, comes in late all of the time, and is always whining to her coworkers for Kleenex, crackers, quality hand lotion, pain medication, and whatever she can get her hands on. OK, I think that's funny.... but I will bet you donuts that you haven't heard the last of this by a long shot. I am sure that once she works things out in her convoluted little head she will be gossiping about you big-time to your co-workers (in my xp, office leeches also tend to be office gossips). So you should start to hear comments or questions from others within the next 24 hours or so. You can make a game of figuring out what leech decided was the truth by what the comments/questions you get.
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on Jul 7, 2011 7:47:19 GMT -5
Off topic - Patchwork, yes I am an Eddings fan. A friend got me into him years ago and I never looked book
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 7, 2011 7:51:41 GMT -5
I wouldn't get in a beater car. To me a guy that would drive something unsafe and dirty and expect me to be okay with that has got more issues than I'm going to deal with. An older car that is clean is another story.
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brdsl
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Post by brdsl on Jul 7, 2011 8:19:02 GMT -5
I don't hide it....it just doesn't usually come up. But I am not very social, so sitting down and drinking the night away isn't my thing. I would assume that most money conversations come after a few drinks.
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patchwork150
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Post by patchwork150 on Jul 7, 2011 9:11:32 GMT -5
Off topic - Patchwork, yes I am an Eddings fan. A friend got me into him years ago and I never looked book lol. I'm a fan too. I have all his books, and most of the ones he wrote with his wife ;D I hadn't seen your username before, so I had to ask the question!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2011 9:47:05 GMT -5
There was a discussion on a Frequent Flyer board I'm on about whether you discuss your vacations with people. I mentioned that in general I'm careful about discussing anything with co-workers that might imply I'm sitting on a lot of assets because I don't want them to think I'm a good person to throw out onto the tarmac if they have a downsizing. I could just picture them making a decision between me and someone else and having them be influenced by the fact that DH and I won't starve if I lose my job but another worker might. Some people thought I was paranoid. I told them that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!
I do talk about our vacations with my European colleagues and US-based colleagues who also travel. OTOH, I'm having a discussion with our advisor about how to deploy $250K freed up when I got out of a lot of under-performing investments yesterday. That conversation will take place tomorrow when I'm working at home.
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Post by illinicheme on Jul 7, 2011 9:49:03 GMT -5
I don't actively hide my financial success. But I don't talk much about it. Most of friends have similar careers, so everyone is in the same sphere of lifestyle, though there is a range of cars/houses depending on the size of the two incomes involved.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 7, 2011 9:57:44 GMT -5
This is exactly what happened to my co-worker's husband. It came down to him (he was literally employee of the year!) - married, no kids, employed wife - and the other guy, who was married, 3 kids, huge mortgage, and SAHW. Unfair, sure, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen...
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Jul 7, 2011 10:58:57 GMT -5
I talk about my finances with my father and my husband. My dad is where I got most of my money management skills from, so he's never judgmental, or asking for money. He will suggest things to me that I may not have thought of as far as investments, taxes, etc. I do talk in general terms with my inlaws, but not dollar amounts.
I don't mind sharing so much on here, it's nice to get some feedback. I used to frequent another "frugal" board that used to have decent threads about money management, but lately it's nothing but DR followers and most posters are SAHM's trying to make their own laundry detergent to avoid declaring bankruptcy. I'm truly sympathetic and I do learn a lot there, but it would totally be "bragging" to post a thread about my financial situation.
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 7, 2011 11:23:44 GMT -5
I guess I don't think of myself as a financial success for the most part. I'll talk about our financials with my bff, my sisters and my parents. Mainly I just think we're plodding along. Truth is probably somewhere in between though.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 7, 2011 11:49:29 GMT -5
Hmmm - maybe I made a mistake. I told my boss that even though lay-offs might be coming, I would stick around to see if I was one of them, because I could adjust my life accordingly. Of course, I think they already have a job with my name penciled in. They haven't said that, but I have my suspicions.
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runewell
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Post by runewell on Jul 7, 2011 13:29:38 GMT -5
Was something like NetWorth IQ all the rage on here lately? I don't need a site to brag about my net worth. All that's likely to accomplish is make people more depressed or egotistical about their situation. I may let my parents in on the deal from time to time, that's about it. Mom is always surprised to hear how much it is.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 7, 2011 13:51:55 GMT -5
Well I think there's a difference between "bragging" on an anonymous internet message board full of near-strangers, versus discussing finances with your friends, family, and coworkers... I'm pretty open on here but I wouldn't want to have these discussions with most of the people I know IRL, for all the reasons stated above.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2011 14:00:29 GMT -5
Hmmm - maybe I made a mistake. I told my boss that even though lay-offs might be coming, I would stick around to see if I was one of them, because I could adjust my life accordingly. Of course, I think they already have a job with my name penciled in. They haven't said that, but I have my suspicions. A lot depends on the boss. When my company was acquired, I was in the same position as you and chose to stick around to see what happened, but didn't reveal anything about our financial situation. Let them think that I'm struggling to support my 72-year old husband and that we've squandered all my income on day-to-day living expenses and foolish travel!
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trimatty471
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Post by trimatty471 on Jul 9, 2011 8:58:13 GMT -5
Plus, deadbeat men come out of the woodwork. Yeah. I was fixed up with this guys years ago. I never discussed my background but the people who hooked us up told him that I was a homeowner, travels, blah, blah, blah. Anyway he started talking about how he needs money to own his own truck (he was truck driver) because he was driving for 15 YEARS. Well my antenna went up right then and there. I was thinking, "you were working longer than I have. You should at the very least own something".
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trimatty471
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Post by trimatty471 on Jul 9, 2011 9:03:15 GMT -5
"I had a girlfriend tell me to never, ever tell a guy that I had 2 nickels to rub together because they'd try to get them from me."
This is good advice.
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trimatty471
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Post by trimatty471 on Jul 9, 2011 9:11:13 GMT -5
There was a discussion on a Frequent Flyer board I'm on about whether you discuss your vacations with people. I mentioned that in general I'm careful about discussing anything with co-workers that might imply I'm sitting on a lot of assets because I don't want them to think I'm a good person to throw out onto the tarmac if they have a downsizing. I could just picture them making a decision between me and someone else and having them be influenced by the fact that DH and I won't starve if I lose my job but another worker might. Some people thought I was paranoid. I told them that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!. You know what? I was thinking along those same lines. I make the least amount of money in my department. However, I am single. So I take 3 vacations per year. I don't go out all that much and and I am not a big spender but I do want to travel. The 2 highest paid people in my department are married with on kid but very frugal with their money. But it seems like they are envious of my carefree life. So I decided last year that, going forward, I will not be divulging my vacation plans. I'm just putting the time in and telling them that I'm going to have a staycation.
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txbo
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Post by txbo on Jul 9, 2011 13:56:05 GMT -5
No one in my family, friends or neighbors knows our financial situation we keep it very private. I assume everyone in our circle has a net worth in the million plus range I don’t really want to know. I have a BIL that tells me exactly what he has and expects the same from me. I don’t because it would hurt his feelings but he can see by our lifestyle we either have much more or we are up to our eyeballs in debt.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Jul 9, 2011 15:52:50 GMT -5
I find it strange that how people can talk so-called taboo subjects like ..sharing your intimate sex/marital relationships in the office
Really?? What company do you work for? This would be sexual harrassment. Who shares intimate couple relations with other people, especially in a place of business with co-workers?
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