gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 5, 2016 17:26:22 GMT -5
One caution - many of those things become tedious - so don't lock yourself in a way of life that requires a physical move to undo. Golf 3 or 4 times a week sounds great - until you've done it for a year or so. Pop, country and rock-n-roll concerts, festivals, yada, get really old in a year or so. 'Usually outside on their lanai by the pool, looking out at the 13th hole, listening to rock n roll while reading a book or the newspaper or working on a sudoku or cross-word puzzle' sounds truly boring after a year or so - young folks who have to work every day think of that as heaven - but it's actually annoying, lol. Shooting skeet gets old quick. Way more fun to go to the Grand Canyon, go Ice Skating at Key Stone, work the Corn Harvest for a month, haul our bicycles up to the mountains and ride for a week or so, drive up to Alaska during the grizzly bear season and take bear, moose, eagle pictures. Kinda like cruises - sitting on a ship and looking at ocean is mostly the same every where, every day. The food is good, the ports of call are somewhat interesting - but the 17 jewelry shops in Juneau are moved to the Bahamas in winter, same stuff, different cruise. lol. What you really wish for is that you could abandon ship & go off in your car and really see stuff. And after you're retired, you can cuz you have 3 or 4 weeks, not just 11 days, to go where you want. Surprisingly, even trips to Europe, etc, become tedious if you stay too long - you finally get really ready to go back home (remember, home is really nice when you don't have to go to work every morning, instead you get up at 6:00 and go to the bagel place.) Well, I wasn't going to post everything they have done this past 13 years while retired, but there have been a lot of bike trips- including Bike Vermont Discovery bike tour and even a raft the Colorado river 2 week wilderness adventure.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2016 11:26:23 GMT -5
Also, I disagree that you should ignore the emotional aspect of this decision. Sure, your family may say and totally think they will be supportive through this huge change, but if it fails horribly and you lose a lot of money- it's going to take a toll on everyone, especially you. I thought my sister was making a mistake, but I could see that she was determined to do it. I told her that I support her if it makes her happy and that she would always have a room at my house (supportive right). The problem was I was talking to a normal person who still had a lot of drive. She did come back, but the economy tanked and she couldn't find another "real" job. She was on the verge of losing her mind and did. I couldn't risk living with a violent schizophrenic, so as guilty as I felt and still feel about it, the room at my house was no longer an option. This decision totally ruined her life. very sorry to hear to this, very sad. But I question your logic that leaving this job ruined her life if she is truly a voilent schizophrenic, I don't see how she could have kept her job/life, and how that could have saved her from mental illness. It almost seems like you are saying that she wouldn't have gotten ill if she stayed in her job? She was a fully functional adult who had never had any mental illness problems or diagnosis before her downward spiral of losing everything. I feel strongly that this triggered her mental illness. She may or may not have had mental illness problems later in life, but with a secure job, home, health insurance, family and resources- her illness (if it even surfaced) would likely have been much more manageable. ETA- We all thought, what's the worse thing that can happen. She gives this a try, it fails, she's out $50K, moves back, stays with one of us while she gets back on her feet and everything will be fine. I get the sense that the OP is the same way. If it fails, she's out $50K that she wouldn't have had otherwise and it's not a big deal. But, once you get started with that initial investment, you start spending more money, whether it be on permits, equipment, upgrades, staff, etc in hopes to turn a profit and recover the initial investment. My only point was that there are worse outcomes that none of us could have anticipated.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2016 7:55:26 GMT -5
Also, I disagree that you should ignore the emotional aspect of this decision. Sure, your family may say and totally think they will be supportive through this huge change, but if it fails horribly and you lose a lot of money- it's going to take a toll on everyone, especially you.
I thought my sister was making a mistake, but I could see that she was determined to do it. I told her that I support her if it makes her happy and that she would always have a room at my house (supportive right). The problem was I was talking to a normal person who still had a lot of drive. She did come back, but the economy tanked and she couldn't find another "real" job. She was on the verge of losing her mind and did. I couldn't risk living with a violent schizophrenic, so as guilty as I felt and still feel about it, the room at my house was no longer an option. This decision totally ruined her life.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2016 7:34:04 GMT -5
Coincidentally or not, my sister was 32 when she gave up her cushy w-2 office job for her dream to move to the beach and start her own business. She was single but had sole-custody of her 10 year old son. She used the real estate boom to fund her dream. She sold her condo for a nice $50K profit and rented a house at the beach. Within a year she was broke and downward spiraling. She continued to downward spiral, until she finally ended up homeless on the streets, which is where she's been living for a long time. She hasn't seen her son in many years. It's a really sad story.
There are definitely unimaginable outcomes of following your dream. Almost all my friends went through a period of restlessness right around 32- like this it? this is what I have to do for the next 30 years? It's very normal to go through those emotions.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 3, 2016 22:00:56 GMT -5
Sorry you aren't getting the answers you're looking for. It was really painful to read the ask dark or don't ask dark debate, lol. But you're 33 and have very little saved for retirement. You've been on this board for 5 years, which means you probably came from the old MSN YM board. What's been taking you so long to start investing? I know you said it's not been a priority, but come on- you've stuck around for this long and should really know better. You've just been given a huge opportunity to catch up and you want to blow it. Put that money in a brokerage account and catch up on your Roth. If you start this business, you will be out the money, adding a huge expense, adding to your debt, adding nothing to your retirement and contributing nothing financial to the household. You'd be better off keeping your 6 figures, quitting your job and getting a low paid, part-time gig at an art house or coffee shop. Maybe the business owner would listen to your ideas on expansion and you can fulfill some of your dreams without the risk. Good luck with whatever you decide and sorry about your loss.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 3, 2016 14:35:15 GMT -5
No, the OP described the other driver as being ahead of him, then stopping to go in reverse to enter the parking stall - the OP jumped into the stall ahead of him.
(And yes, you have to watch out for those darned Pediatricians - they might be darting between cars to rush & deliver a baby. ) Correct, but there is still an area of the parking lot that is not the space you have to reverse your car through to get to the space. In my example, the car went passed 3 spaces and was going to reverse. Which is why I did not realize they were planning on backing in. Just, like in the OP- the car went passed the space and then stopped. So, there is still that much parking area to reverse through before the parking space itself. I've watched hundreds of times as I wait patiently for these backer-inners to take three times as long to get into their space than it would be if they just pulled in. Sure, their exit is safer and faster, but their parking was most definitely not any safer than the person who backs out.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 3, 2016 13:53:08 GMT -5
I sympathize and feel like this argument is similar to which way to hang the toilet paper. I find it much easier and safer to back into a bigger area (pulling out of a space) and less time consuming then backing into a small space. But, I've never driven anything bigger than a sedan. The OP describes a car backing into the parking area, not the space, so they are still having to back into where pediatrician and other drivers could be. Like Bill said, net result is the same and I will never understand the reverse argument. The exact same thing happened to me once. When I got back to my car, "somebody" left a post-it note on my window that read "inconsiderate, look it up in the dictionary". How was I to know the driver who went passed the parking space was planning on reversing and backing into it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 1, 2016 23:33:10 GMT -5
So both your kids would sleep in same bed? Yes. They're both girls. When we get a room at a regular hotel, we get two queen beds--one for DH and me and one for the girls. Is that not what most people with children do?
This search has become difficult. I thought I had found a nice boutique hotel that would be exactly what we were going for. Then I figured out that it is $660 per night. Granted, that includes a full breakfast for each of us, but $1400 for lodging for one weekend is not something we have budgeted for.
I think we're back to Holiday Inn Express for this trip.Yikes! $1400 is more than I spend on a 3 br/2ba beach-facing condo for a week in late August. That must be one fancy B&B.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 1, 2016 19:10:54 GMT -5
How would I interpret that? There is no way I would bring children to a B&B that clearly said adults-only. Yes, they might be extremely well-behaved and adult-like, but you run the risk of really pissing off anyone else staying there. That's like taking 13 items instead of 12 to the express line. Maybe you get away with it, but people are counting and judging. I really don't feel like it clearly says that it is adults only. I am biased, but the 13 yo is taller than the 17yo and both are exceptionally well-behaved in public. DD#2 would pass for a 15 as ArchietheDragon suggested. I do hang out with 300 teenagers all day, so I do see the entire spectrum of teenage behavior. I have looked at the Private Bella Luna Cottage. I'm beginning to reach my limit on the expense of this, though. It's an additional $150 per night compared to the suites that are designed for four people.
It's right there in your post: The Inn is an adult getaway.No matter what the text below it says, 14 is not an adult in any other guests eyes. And, yes because teenagers are grumpy, nobody else wants to hear them whining and their parents having to negotiate with them, nobody wants to see them rolling their eyes or being particular about the food when they were expecting the company of adults only. I'm extremely pro-children, but not at adult-only accommodations.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 1, 2016 16:54:21 GMT -5
How would I interpret that? There is no way I would bring children to a B&B that clearly said adults-only. Yes, they might be extremely well-behaved and adult-like, but you run the risk of really pissing off anyone else staying there. That's like taking 13 items instead of 12 to the express line. Maybe you get away with it, but people are counting and judging.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 31, 2015 13:27:55 GMT -5
It's not my forever home but I plan to stay there 15-20 yrs. Then what ever you are doing isn't going to effect 'resale' value much. In 5 to 10 years everything you started with will be dated and or 'worn' in some way.
I'd do what makes you happy or gives you the biggest bang for your buck.
True, but it's a lot cheaper to switch out fixtures and flooring. It cost a total of $800 to update all 3 bathroom in my previous 15 year old home. I stained the cabinets, laid some new tile and switched out the faucets and mirrors to make them all look brand-new. It cost $12K to gut and totally remodel the disgusting bathroom the previous owners designed in my current home and if we hadn't done it ourselves, it would have been closer to the $30K bid three different contractors gave me.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 31, 2015 9:38:10 GMT -5
So he wants to go to sleep in his own bedroom and watch t.v. in his own family room? I think I would do the exact same thing- kick the person out if they are up watching t.v. in bed and I needed sleep. That's what bedrooms are for. I don't have a t.v. in my bedroom for this exact reason. I need it to be quiet and dark to sleep. My preference would actually be for that person to turn off their devises and cuddle (or whatever) instead of leaving to continue on their devises in another room. But, if they can't do that, then yes they have to leave. Sorry it sucks for you though.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 31, 2015 7:46:17 GMT -5
Why can't he make some of the rules in his own house? Why can't he make all of the rules in his own house for that matter and Pat has to do it his way from now on. I don't even like the word "rules" for anybody other than kids. You'd probably say because it's Pat's house too. It's unfair to him the same way it would be unfair to her if she had to do everything the way he wants from now on.
If he doesn't like how the dishwasher gets emptied, well then let him empty the dishwasher his way. No need to fight over it or train the poor man. I agree the patience and compromise is the key.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 31, 2015 3:03:19 GMT -5
It sounds like you might have a rough road ahead. I feel for both of you. You're used to having the house to yourself and he probably wants to finally have the house to himself. Neither of you get what you want. Maybe you can get a part-time gig or hobby out of the house and give him a little more space.
As far as the furniture, if it were me, I'd get custom glass tops made for any surfaces you're worried about. I couldn't live with never being able to put something down on a surface over fear of scratching the furniture. Life should be easy!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 30, 2015 12:44:16 GMT -5
My in laws made some horrible choices in the home they just built last year. In addition to going very cheap on the bathrooms, they made some very specific designs that only work for them; for example a 3 car garage with a single door. There is no entry way, so the front door opens right into the back of the couch. The hall bath adjacent to the family room has a pocket door, which is super annoying and not very private. I don't know what they were thinking.
Now they are talking about selling it in 5 years and moving to Florida. But, even their architect son says it's a tear-down. There is no chance they are getting back the money they put into it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 30, 2015 12:38:56 GMT -5
I don't use the master bedroom. Guests will use it since there are a few of them visiting at the same time so they need more space. Also, I like the standard tub in the other bathroom. Why don't you use the master bedroom? What do you prefer about the other bedroom and bathroom that you don't get in your master bedroom and bathroom? Do you have a lot of guests that visit frequently?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 30, 2015 12:12:41 GMT -5
I had to remodel my master bathroom to get rid of the gross 36"x 34" fiber glass shower and huge corner tub. I never used the bath because it was gross and I hated the shower because it was too small. Even though the corner tub was huge, it was too small to put legs down straight in either direction which made baths very uncomfortable.
We built a beautiful fully tiled-in large neo corner shower with custom glass door, two 48" single sink vanities with 6 drawers each and under sink cabinet space, and a rectangular, deep jetted tub. The two 48" vanities replaced the double sink 58" vanity that had no counter space and no drawers. Seriously, there was no place to even set a blow dryer down except in the sink.
I went from hating my bathroom to loving it. The kids and I get in the jetted tub almost every week. There is a handheld in that one to make baths even easier. My shower experiences is amazing because there is plenty of room, body jets, a bench, a handheld and rain head. We made sure to build large his and her niches for plenty of bottles. I don't bump my head on the wall every time I bend forward to shave. We actually barely use the hall bath since it's much easier to bathe or shower them in the master bath.
I'm honestly pissed at the original owners for designing such a horrible bathroom. But, I'll take ownership in getting impatient with finding the right home.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 28, 2015 22:55:57 GMT -5
They did a lot of their big international trips- Europe, China, Japan, Australia when they were still in their 50's. I've observed that now that they're in their 60's, they feel a lot more comfortable with national trips so they are near U.S. healthcare if they need it. Although, last year they did go to Canada as part of a Pacific coast tour and Canada as part of a north east tour, but that's not the same. And they will go on Caribbean cruises. I imagine it's a much more vulnerable situation if something goes wrong and you're older in a foreign country. They've had a few scares with some broken bones from a bicycle accident and an appendix bursting to now be cautious about traveling as they approach 70 and beyond. No need to be particularly concerned about medical care in many countries. Mom fell, hit her head and tore open her cheek while traveling in Northern Ireland. The ER Doc looked like Doogie Howser, but was more than plenty competent. Treated the concussion and put 17 stitches in the skin on her 70 year old face. Six months later you couldn't find a scar unless you knew where to look and looked very closely. Doubt a US doc could have provided better care. With a little planning, medical care shouldn't prevent most people from traveling to locations that aren't overly remote. It's true, it definitely depends. Last year, my next door neighbor who is in his upper 60's suffered a stroke on the plane back from India. They had to do an emergency landing in Frankfurt to get him to a hospital. He recovered but was stuck in a hospital in Germany for over a month. He said if he'd been in the U.S. his treatment would have been way faster and was never so glad to be back in the U.S. It was an interesting conversation because you rarely hear people being complimentary of U.S. healthcare. Risk verses reward is definitely a factor when it comes to these things. It could be fine, but I can definitely understand the reluctance past a certain age or physical health.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 28, 2015 15:40:27 GMT -5
add in some travel and this is what I want. I'd have to hit the lotto to make it by 55 though. I used to say 60 but it's definitely not happening now. 65 is my "I'm retiring - make it work" age. They did a lot of their big international trips- Europe, China, Japan, Australia when they were still in their 50's. I've observed that now that they're in their 60's, they feel a lot more comfortable with national trips so they are near U.S. healthcare if they need it. Although, last year they did go to Canada as part of a Pacific coast tour and Canada as part of a north east tour, but that's not the same. And they will go on Caribbean cruises. I imagine it's a much more vulnerable situation if something goes wrong and you're older in a foreign country. They've had a few scares with some broken bones from a bicycle accident and an appendix bursting to now be cautious about traveling as they approach 70 and beyond.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 28, 2015 15:12:38 GMT -5
I'm pretty jealous of my parents' retirement. As they approached 55, they solidified their retirement plans and built a beautiful one story, 3br house on a golf course in a 55+ community in Florida.
They're the same age and both retired and moved into their brand-new house the year they turned 55. They have more friends than they ever had working and raising a family. Since their friends are retired too, they have plenty of people to make plans with. They golf with different groups 3-4x/week, go to all kinds of pop, country and rock-n-roll concerts, festivals, most of the Rays baseball games, a lot of the USF football games, take cruises, travel to their snowbird friends' houses in different parts of the country and other bucket-list trips. They work out at the gym nearly every day. It's been 13 years and they've never been healthier. If they're at home, they are usually outside on their lanai by the pool, looking out at the 13th hole, listening to rock n roll while reading a book or the newspaper or working on a sudoku or cross-word puzzle. Their full package cable t.v. never comes on before 8:00 pm (except the weekends when football is on).
I suppose my ideal would be the same. Retire in good shape with the person I love (who also happens to be the same age) with the financial freedom to afford the lifestyle. On track so far.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 28, 2015 10:49:06 GMT -5
My inlaws came over for Christmas. We get along just fine, but they have been trying to convince me to join their crafting business for years. MIL starts in again this year and I smile and nod, half listening. But, then she goes on about how she feels bad for all of us w2 people who have everything on paper. So, I stop smiling, confused and ask what she means. She says she feels bad that everything is tracked on paper, the government knows everything and we have to pay our full tax bill. I try to let it go, so I don't have to get into a debate, but she keeps going. Finally I said, don't feel bad for us. This is the society we live in and taxes are part of it. We're doing just fine with our w2 jobs. She says okay, but if you were working your own business you wouldn't have to report as much. Sigh, so now I have to talk about how I feel okay about living an honest life and not being a dishonest person. At this point, I just want to end it because I don't want my statement to imply she is a dishonest person. She tried to back step by saying that for 30 years her husband had a w2 jobs too. I just couldn't...that does not give anyone a free pass to live the rest of their income producing years dishonestly. Fine if that's how you want to live, but please don't brag to me about it. How do you get out of these conversations gracefully? Any fun stories from the rest of you? Send her this story.. www.boston.com/news/local/2015/12/14/owners-nick-famous-roast-beef-accused-cheating-taxes/s8k2EqoE5EjKai43NOPp6O/story.html one of my favorite roast beef places. (I doubt your MIL makes the kind of cash this place does, but still) We had a nice quiet Christmas with no drama or annoyance this year, except how cheesy my mother got after we made the big announcement (I expected it and can't blame her, but it makes me uncomfortable!) My MIL was happy on the phone when we called her and told her, and my brother didn't do anything to annoy me this year. so it was fine! I'm starting to get heated over it all over again. Every [smart] business owner passes on the taxes to the consumer. So if there is a 7% sales tax, you charge 7% more for the item. Business owners aren't really paying any of it out of pocket, the consumer is and the business owner is pocketing more profit by cheating on their taxes.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 28, 2015 10:36:34 GMT -5
Lol, my mind went in that direction. It was tempting just to get her to stop bragging to me about it. I'm not leaving my cushy, reliable, 40 hour week, decent paying job so I can work around the clock 7 days/week and turn my beautiful home into a shop w/ inventory. I'll happily pay the taxes. I don't have a problem with legitimate write-offs, but she was making it sound as if they deal with mostly cash and just don't report it. Plus, it didn't help that 30 minutes before that she was telling me about the man they were going to hire to help them with 3000 orders, but could pay him less than minimum wage because it would be "under the table". Word to the wise, don't look for validation from me on this sort of thing. Yeah, but just remember to be avoiding taxes, they actually have to have income to report. If they actually tracked all their costs, it is doubtful they have much of a profit. I get frustrated with my Mom and her home based pyramid scheme all the time. She puts an awful lot of time into it to make a few hundred to a thousand $$. Oh you'd be surprised. It's their own business from crafts they create themselves out of recycled materials. Their recent 3000 unit order was for $10 each. Which makes their revenue from this one order $30,000. It will take them 2-3 months to fill the order and each one cost about 10 cents to make. Meanwhile they're selling at craft shows and markets on top of the big orders every weekend. Sure, there are a lot of expenses they can claim, but the way she was talking made it sound like they don't report cash income where there are no paper-trails.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 26, 2015 22:59:07 GMT -5
How do you get out of these conversations gracefully? I usually just cheerfully announce that the IRS pays a huge bounty on people who turn in others for tax fraud and wonder how much in taxes I'd need to pay on that bounty. (I'd say it gracefully, of course) Lol, my mind went in that direction. It was tempting just to get her to stop bragging to me about it. I'm not leaving my cushy, reliable, 40 hour week, decent paying job so I can work around the clock 7 days/week and turn my beautiful home into a shop w/ inventory. I'll happily pay the taxes. I don't have a problem with legitimate write-offs, but she was making it sound as if they deal with mostly cash and just don't report it. Plus, it didn't help that 30 minutes before that she was telling me about the man they were going to hire to help them with 3000 orders, but could pay him less than minimum wage because it would be "under the table". Word to the wise, don't look for validation from me on this sort of thing.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 26, 2015 19:08:55 GMT -5
I don't mind people talking about politics or religion, but I won't volunteer my opinions because I'm just not a fan of debating. Regardless, I have a very low tolerance for things that involve unethical, racist or prejudice opinions. It's pretty much impossible for me to be agreeable.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 26, 2015 17:56:52 GMT -5
My inlaws came over for Christmas. We get along just fine, but they have been trying to convince me to join their crafting business for years. MIL starts in again this year and I smile and nod, half listening. But, then she goes on about how she feels bad for all of us w2 people who have everything on paper. So, I stop smiling, confused and ask what she means.
She says she feels bad that everything is tracked on paper, the government knows everything and we have to pay our full tax bill. I try to let it go, so I don't have to get into a debate, but she keeps going. Finally I said, don't feel bad for us. This is the society we live in and taxes are part of it. We're doing just fine with our w2 jobs. She says okay, but if you were working your own business you wouldn't have to report as much. Sigh, so now I have to talk about how I feel okay about living an honest life and not being a dishonest person.
At this point, I just want to end it because I don't want my statement to imply she is a dishonest person. She tried to back step by saying that for 30 years her husband had a w2 jobs too. I just couldn't...that does not give anyone a free pass to live the rest of their income producing years dishonestly. Fine if that's how you want to live, but please don't brag to me about it.
How do you get out of these conversations gracefully? Any fun stories from the rest of you?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 23, 2015 19:53:25 GMT -5
I'm just not buying this story. I don't believe they bought it to prevent a new construction home from going up. They bought it as an investment thinking they could do some reno's and flip it for 100,000s of profit.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 23, 2015 7:59:02 GMT -5
What exactly has he been doing since August? Please tell me it's something more productive than staying up all night playing video games and sleeping all day. It's really a good sign that he's getting interviews. That means he is qualified for the position regardless of the lack of internship, or they would toss the resume with the rest that don't meet the qualifications.
Nobody wastes time interviewing people who aren't qualified. I'd look into a little more coaching for the interview process. I wrote it on another post, but if you're in that chair in front of a hiring manager, they want to hire you and be done with filling the req.
I took a job for $23K/year when I graduated in 2000. It totally sucked, but it was a huge company and got my foot in the door. Every 6-9 months I'd get a promotion or a significant raise. Every once in awhile I question if that was a mistake and I should have held out for a higher paying position. But, in these past 15 years, I've never been unemployed and now make 6 figures, so I guess it worked out taking a low paying, beneath me job. Like Ashton Kutcher said, opportunity looks a lot like work.
Good luck, I hope the wait is worth it!
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gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 22, 2015 7:39:44 GMT -5
No he is not Zib, Women are always attracted to the bad guy, They think they can change them, they can't, but they will try. Not exactly, women are attracted to attractive men. Same as men are attracted to attractive woman. Unfortunately some of those attractive men aren't always the nicest. They want to fix it because they've already fallen. It's really no different for men than women. But, since men need a reason if women aren't flocking to them, they just blame it on women not wanting a "nice" guy. That's really not it.
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gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 22, 2015 2:13:48 GMT -5
You need a pep talk. Remind yourself all the reasons any employer would be lucky to have you. If you get the interview, remember that you're likely only interviewing against 3-5 other people. That's it, you just have to be more awesome than 3-5 other people. You already beat out hundreds who may have applied for the job.
As a manager who has done a fair amount of interviews, if I'm interviewing you- it means your resume fits and I want to hire you, fill the position and not have to waste anymore time interviewing. I don't know any managers that look forward to interviews.
People blow it with me when they can't speak to the experience and skills they've listed on their resumes or they have 0 personality or I just can't warm up to them. I don't care how qualified a person is, I don't want them working for me if I perceive that they will be difficult to manage or difficult to work with in anyway.
So, perfect your resume, practice speaking to it and recalling all your experience with overcoming something difficult, the challenges and your greatest accomplishments. If there are skills listed, make sure you remember what they mean and how you applied them. Then, put on your best outfit, smile in the mirror, put the sparkle in your eye and turn on the charm. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 22, 2015 2:00:44 GMT -5
He likes you. If he doesn't call you, do not take it personally, assume he is already seeing someone and move onto the next. I've had "innocent" moments like this and have ignored the phone call or said no to the date because I started seeing someone else. That's probably a little shady of me, but it is what it is. And, I've been on the opposite end and hit it off with someone in a group setting and never got a phone call. People can put out single vibes, not actually be 100% single and not want to cheat either. Timing is always the hidden factor when it comes to dating.
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