Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:43:29 GMT -5
2007debtheaven
Message #175 - 06/22/08 05:50 PM
Finally got rid of all the stuff sitting on the basement landing today. DH kept two bags for his office's cleaner, we took the rest to the Red Cross lady in the next town. I admire this woman who receptions everybody else's unwanted clutter with such glee, lol.
We can't finish going through the storage room in the basement because the contractor and I emptied the rest of DS1's room in there so we can redo his floor when it's dry enough.
So all that's left is DS3's room but that will wait until August after DS3's camp and our family vacation.
abundanceandprosperity
Message #176 - 06/23/08 01:09 PM
Paulette, hope the job activities keep moving for you.
Keriamon, thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely check into that book and will start implementing some of the suggestions.
Phoenix, I hear you. Finding something to inspire me is usually necessary to get me motivated again.
2007debtheaven, way to go! Progress is progress.
My update, DH got on a declutter kick this weekend. I am thankful for this as he really made progress on the laundry room and some of his clutter that has been around the house. I have a goal of clearing out the attic by next Saturday. Hopefully some good energy will come our way!
jenna30
Message #177 - 06/24/08 02:53 AM
This thread has popped up in perfect time. We just moved last May, and we did a major decluttering.
However, we still have unpacked boxes in our new place. I'm leaving a few things in boxes because I know our new place is temporary, and we'll probably move in a year.
I've donated tons of clothes, yet still have more to sort. :sigh:
My mom has been doing a bit of cleaning and donating. She has a ton of stuff in her house & basement. "I" have a ton of stuff in her basement. While at her house last Sunday, I gathered up two more bags of clothes to donate. I really need to get over there and go through more of my stuff.
I put Karen's books on request at the library. I can't wait to read them.
I Am Worth It
Message #178 - 06/25/08 01:33 PM
Keriamon where are you? I need to talk!!! I'm totally a believer now.
I can't find my post from a couple of months ago where I was questioning whether or not a painting of a worried looking, financially struggling married couple counting change at a ragged table, was bringing negative energy into my home. Do you remember it? We chatted very briefly about it and I decided to remove the painting just to see what happens. I completely forgot about it and nothing really changed in my life. About a month later, I was at IKEA and they had a pretty, simple portrait of two open flowers (not sure what kind). It matched the colors of the room and was only $6, so I purchased it and hung it in the empty spot. Things started to change in my life without me even attempting to change things. I was totally clueless and wasn't thinking about feng shui at all. Then yesterday, I was reading....I think it was RedBook Magazine and they had a small article about feng shui and they had a rectangle that showed the different baguas. I started looking at the rectangle in the magazine and looking around my living room and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The area where the new portrait of the flowers is hanging is the bagua where things started to change in my life. Oh my goodness!! I'm so excited. This can't be coincidence can it???
abundanceandprosperity
Message #179 - 06/25/08 02:42 PM
Oh Lolly that is wonderful! I am a believer as well. Whatever the reason, I like to think it is because you are using your energy to make change and intentions for your life, it works.
2007debtheaven
Message #180 - 06/25/08 08:12 PM
Thanks futureplanning! I'm glad your DH is on board! How's the attic going?
DS1 came today and left the rest of his stuff (in the LR). He goes abroad on Friday for a six-month internship. His room will be finished on Saturday, how ironic. I will spend Sunday putting it back together. I will feel SO MUCH BETTER when that is done and all his stuff is out of the LR, DR and kitchen. After four months!
I ended up going through DS3's clothes with him today because he goes to camp next week. I put two bags of his clothes together for a colleague, they're already in the car. That leaves just DS3's toys + desk for August. Like futureplanning says, progress is progress!
Congrats Lolly! That's great!
ETA: I have seen no correlation between my decluttering and money. But since the house has been in such turmoil for the past four months, that doesn't surprise me. Maybe we'll have a good surprise once everything is finally in its place again.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:44:20 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #181 - 06/25/08 08:40 PMWow, Lolly! Glad that helped! Feng Shui is very touchy-feely. Sure there are rules that you can read in a book, but ultimately you have to know YOU in order to apply the rules. Because not everything is viewed the same by everyone else. Your old picture meant something to you for a good long while, but then something made you start to question it. That's when it's time to get rid of something. When you question it. The answer to your questioning is irrelevant. Any good feng shui consultant will want to go through your house with you personally and ask you questions about your stuff--why you have it, how long you've had it, how long it's been in that spot. That's how they sort things that are good, but need to be elsewhere from stuff that's not what you need at all. Sometimes it's not even about something being altogether wrong, as it is about something being wrong for your life right now. Another element of feng shui is to change things up if you feel stagnant. You can have a wonderfully-aligned room, but if you leave it just like it is for too long, the rest of your life will start to become just as monotonous. We need change in our lives and where we live needs to reflect that. So sometimes you can replace a perfectly acceptable picture with another perfectly acceptable picture and get great results. The picture wasn't the problem, but the overall lack of change. Our money problems started to go away when I got our bedroom and bath cleaned up and out. I'm still working on the rest of the house, but we don't seem to be having that run of bad luck anymore. My husband was even going to stay home today and clean out the garage. We will see how far he gets with it. We're having company Friday, so I have at least been working on picking up the house more. I think that's why my husband wanted to clean out the garage too. You know that's where the men hang out. Hopefully this bigger clean up will result in actual money coming in instead of just stopping it running out so fast, lol. I sure would like someone to toss $1,000 at me so I could get really started on my business.
2007debtheavenMessage #182 - 06/26/08 12:00 AMI sure would like someone to toss $1,000 at me so I could get really started on my business. Keriamon, I certainly couldn't toss 1K at you, lol. But since I do know a decent bit about Feng Shui but have never felt capable of doing the bagua myself (probably because any time I open a new Feng Shui book, I always read, "having an L-shaped house is VERY BAD feng-shui") and could never afford to have somebody else do it for me, might you consider this as a side line?! That's why I got the red flowers by the door. I want to get wind chimes too, but they drive DH nuts. With our neighbor's HUGE oak (poisoned arrow) directly opposite our front door, we need all the help we can get, lol. I'm serious, Keriamon. It doesn't need to be tomorrow. Would you consider it?!
SarahsmilingMessage #183 - 06/26/08 04:10 AMHey all, I just wanted to stop in and say hi! I have been decluttering for the last several weeks, or as much as I can get done with 3 kids and a huge dog in my way. I gave away tons of clothes and toys to other moms who could use a little help, and I have gotten rid of a bunch of stuff out of my garage and laundry room. (After I cleaned up from the flooding--small amount but still a mess) Every little bit helps. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can implement a few things from this thread to the house. But, first I have to find the floor 
pink.cshmereMessage #184 - 06/26/08 04:30 AMI'm starting to feel like a little kid with a short attention span. Last Thursday, I was going to work on decluttering. HA! After I finished reading the message boards when I was supposed to working on my desk, I went outside and worked in my yard for a couple hours. Friday, I started out with the same intent on decluttering, but decided to groom my standard poodle instead. 5 days later, he's still a "work in progress". Sure hope his self-esteem isn't suffering. What is wrong with me?? I can't seem to find my motivation. Yes, the yard work was something constructive, and the dog definitely needed grooming, but still! ETA: Keriamon, (or anyone else) HELP! 
abundanceandprosperityMessage #185 - 06/26/08 12:54 PM , when I have a hard time getting something done that I have set as a task I look at what that task really represents to me. Usually I will find a deeper issue or realize that I am procrastinating because something else must be done (such as receiving information) in order for me to tackle the task at hand. Hope this helps!
2007debtheavenMessage #186 - 06/30/08 05:48 PMBasement updateThe workers finished tiling DS1's basement bedroom on Sat at 6 pm. DH took one look the new floor and ran out to get paint. By Sun 6 pm the room was repainted (except for the radiator and door) and all of DS1's stuff was in his room and OUT of the LR, DR and kitchen. What a marathon! I can't remember if I said we decided to go with tile at the last minute. It's more expensive, but it's pretty permanent. I still have to sort some stuff in that room, and DH still has to paint the radiator and door. We still have some stuff to sort in the storage room. But we REALLY overexerted ourselves these two past crazy weekends. I need to leave it for now because I don't want to push DH too far. I have more stuff in the car for the Red Cross Lady though! My cleaner even got upset with me today telling me that I had pushed DH too hard (she saw the change from last week). I told her I pushed myself just as hard or harder, she said, yes, but it's YOUR need, not his. Very astute. So I need to back off for a while. I want it ALL DONE YESTERDAY but I have to acknowledge that the lion's share is done, and leave it for now. I can sort through DS1's stuff on my own, and I will. I would paint the radiator and door but DH will get offended. FutureplanningUsually I will find a deeper issue or realize that I am procrastinating because something else must be done (such as receiving information) in order for me to tackle the task at hand. I keep thinking about this! I can definitely relate to this but I am not by nature a procrastinator and I don't think you are either.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:44:34 GMT -5
2007debtheavenMessage #187 - 06/30/08 07:57 PMPhoenixDon't be so hard on yourself! It's not like you stuck a DVD in, both those "displacement" tasks needed to be done too! Is your desk overwhelming you? Maybe that's why you're choosing other tasks / procrastinating. If your desk (or any other decluttering you need to do) is overwhelming, the secret is to break it up into smaller tasks: like the surface is one task, and the drawers are another. If it's really messy (and there is no shame to that! It's great that you're tackling it!) break it up into even more tasks: the number of piles and the number of drawers. If you break it down into really small bits, don't get up until you tackle one small bit, but set REALISTIC goals, like one drawer or one pile every 3 days. Or even one drawer or one pile every week. Whatever, as long as it's a schedule you can maintain. Hope this helps! PS Another idea: my DH can't bear to do any indoor tasks when it's nice out. He's a TERRIBLE procrastinator and never gets the decluttering in sync with the seasons. So if his desk pile is unmanageable in spring or summer, I encourage him to take the pile or drawer out to the garden table. That way it gets done, but he's outside. Part of all this basement angst is just that: it should have been done in the fall / winter (any one of the falls / winters over the past nine years for the storage room!) but it wasn't, and with the flooding next door, DH HAD to deal with it. So DH has been bitter and twisted about having to spend so many hours in the basement when it's finally nice out. Personally I believe that feng shui and karma are related. I think Keriamon would agree. If you have to do something, you have to do it. If you procrastinate, you will end up having to do it at the least convienient time. So best to break up that unpleasant task into small pieces and tackle it at your own rhythm. But you do need to tackle it. If you don't, it will come back to haunt you.
pink.cshmereMessage #188 - 06/30/08 08:13 PMIs your desk overwhelming you? 2007debtheaven: My entire life is overwhelming me right now! Your suggestion makes sense, so does the one futureplanning gave (I've always been a procrastinator). I'll try to put your suggestions into action, if I do too much more thinking I'll never get anything done. I'm great and thinking and planning, not too good at the action part.  Thanks, both of you.
2007debtheavenMessage #189 - 06/30/08 08:29 PMPhoenix I think FP's comment is great food for thought! But on a more practical basis (because like I said she seems to be really well organized!) yes, break it all up. You can't do it all at once, don't even try! Choose ONE room, break that room up into do-able bits. You sound like a great candidate for Flylady, there are a ton of Flylady fans here! I'm not a clutterbug but DH is, and my sister is, so I know how hard it can be. IMO the key to success is keeping it small and do-able. Good luck! I'm looking forward to hearing your progress! It may be little by little, but YOU CAN DO THIS!
keriamonMessage #190 - 06/30/08 09:47 PM"having an L-shaped house is VERY BAD feng-shui" Karen Kingston doesn't say that it's very bad feng shui necessarily, but you do need to do a bit more work. I know for a fact that in her other book, "Creating Sacred Space," she has illustrations for how to deal with an L-shaped room. I seem to recall you have to add mirrors to bounce the chi around since it can't circulate properly on its own. For a house, when you do your bagua, draw your house with a dotted line that fills out the missing section and makes it square/rectangular. Then apply the bagua over the full thing. Where a bagua section (or most of more than one) falls into the missing section, then you know those are things you are going to have more trouble with. To remedy the problem, the first thing you do is go outside to where you have the missing area and take care of your porch/garden/lawn in that area as if it were part of the house. If it's your money section, then apply money cures to it, like planting a lot of lush, green bushes. You might not can hang a mirror outside, but if you could put in a pond or birdbath, the water would act as a mirror for the surrounding landscape. Gold koi are always good where you want money. And so forth. The other cure is to apply the bagua to each individual room as well as the whole house. Let's say your relationships section is what's outside the house. Now, besides planting things in bunches, or at least pairs, and trying to make everything cozy and harmonious (heart-shaped leaves, anyone? LOL), you can also add extra emphasis on the relationship section in each individual room of the house. Put extra cures in them to make up for the missing section in the house. No house is impossible. Except maybe one built on an ancient burial ground. And if the spirits aren't pissed at you, you're still probably good to go there. I know I have an odd affinity with old graveyards; while others would probably not do well with one on their property, I probably would. But again, it depends on the spirits. Some don't want the living around. While some graveyards, funny enough, really are dead--there's nothing hanging out in there. Those are the ones that are okay, so long as it doesn't weigh on your mind to have it around. Anyways, the point is, there's a cure for all sorts of problems. That's why they are called cures. If you could build a perfect house, then everyone in China would have a perfect house and there would be no need for Feng Shui cures. But even if you built the perfect house--and it can be done--you not only have to live in it perfectly, but it also has to be surrounded by other perfection in order for you to never need to actually practice Feng Shui. So, you see, almost nothing can be built that doesn't need a cure of some sort. So there are cures for your house too. It's not impossible. I'm not sure if an oak tree is a poison arrow, though. Generally a poison arrow is chi flowing towards you or something cutting towards you. For instance, one type of poison arrow is having a road directly across from you (you live opposite a T-junction). In that case, the energy coming down the road keeps right on coming into your house. You likely stay afraid of the road (and with good reason--a drunk person can easily run right into it). In that case, planting trees or a hedge or even a fence can help block the chi and cause it to disperse down either road. Think about it like you were going to block very real cars from barreling into your house and plant or build things appropriately to block them; you will block the chi at the same time. Another poisonous arrow is anything with an edge or point. If your neighbors had a triangular flowerbed and the point was pointing across the street at you, that would be a poison arrow. If their house was turned caddy-corner so that a corner of it was facing you, that might be a poison arrow as well (all depends on how far away you two are; chi loses potency over space, just like anything will come to a stop over a long enough distan
keriamonMessage #191 - 06/30/08 09:50 PMdistance thanks to friction. You would block their pointing chi the same as the car scenario above. I think the neighbor's tree might just be a tree, unless there's something about it that annoys you. If it annoys you, then that's a pretty good sign that something is probably wrong with it. If it's across from your driveway, for instance, and you worry about backing into it when you back out of the drive, then it would be a blockage or impediment in your life. If you could re-route the driveway away from it, then that would take care of the problem. But that's a pretty big change, so likely you would have to compensate in your own house by making sure everything has maximum chi flow. Make sure every door can open wide open; nothing to impede its opening. Make sure all the central walkways in your house stay clear of any clutter (although everything should really remain clear). Make sure you don't have a broken door and no broken windows; every window should open. Also make sure your toilets all work, since they allow for the elimination of the body. Although that probably should be applied to all plumbing. Make sure that nothing is blocked, impeded or broken so it can't move freely. Also decorate your outside with an eye to flowing. No straight lines in either your sidewalks or plants. Try to give everything a soft curve. That induces flowing. You might also install a fountain or other waterscape that moves to try and make your outside flow and move so that the immobile oak tree's blockage is lessened. If the tree is just across from your house, Karen notes in her book on Creating Sacred Space that oak trees especially like to grow at the junction of two underground streams. Mind you, this can be an underground stream of actual water, or of electromagnetic energy. In general, humans do not like these streams. If there's a very large oak across from you, that may very well mean that a stream passes right through your house headed for that oak. And that may be why you feel there's a problem with the oak tree. It's like the culmination of this bad vibe you feel off the underground stream. Karen gives some cures about putting metal stakes in the ground where you have the stream to help divert it away from the house (mind you, you need a douser to figure out which direction it's flowing from). Although, if it runs through part of the house, it's probably not too much of a problem, so long as you don't make a seating arrangement on it, or try to put one around it. Because no one will stay seated where it goes through and if you seat around it, you will feel like people on the other side of the stream are a long ways away from you. If it runs through a bedroom, you should take great pains to try and arrange the bed so that it's not directly over it. Karen has cures if it ends up over it anyways. They can be kind of pricey, so it's best to avoid it if all possible. Small children and chronically ill people should never have that as a bedroom, cures or no cures. Cats, on the other hand, love that energy and will gravitate towards that spot. If a cat sleeps in the same place even if you move it's bed or other furniture, that's a good sign there's something there. But caged birds, on the other hand, will mysteriously die if placed on an underground stream flow. There are new-age Feng Shui dousers, but you've probably seen or heard of people using a forked branch (from a fruit tree) or L-shaped metal rods, to douse for water? You know, when the stick vibrates or the rods turn, there is water? Well, that's all Feng Shui dousing is doing. They are looking for the exact same thing; energy flowing below the surface. While that's usually water, it might not be. But even someone looking for water specifically can happen upon electromagnetic streams as well. So an old-timer farmer who douses for water can also do this, same as some new age hippy person. But if you can't find anyone or can't afford to have it done, note what I've said and/or read Karen's other book to guess whether or not you h
keriamonMessage #192 - 06/30/08 09:52 PMhave that problem. Like I said, a cat will love where the stream goes under your house, but people, especially children, will have a great aversion to it. If you have to do something, you have to do it. If you procrastinate, you will end up having to do it at the least convienient time. I think you are right! Lord knows I procrastinate at work over getting the piddly stuff done, and just when I get started in on it, the poop hits the fan and I get stuck having to do all this other stuff. And starting and stopping projects is something I hate. I hate that I have just started this one project and then something really important happens that I HAVE to do right now. I hadn't ever thought that the universe was trying to send me a message, lol. Usually I will find a deeper issue or realize that I am procrastinating because something else must be done (such as receiving information) in order for me to tackle the task at hand. Hope this helps! I'm procrastinating at work because I don't like my job. I've also decided to go into business for myself, so I'm just holding onto this job for long enough to get my money and my workspace ready for my new business. In short, mentally, I have given this job up as a lost cause. I have already abandoned it in my mind, so that's why my desk looks like it does. I know this. And yet, I also know that I need the money for a little while longer, so I should not subconsciously/passive-aggressively cause myself to get fired before I am ready to quit! But I keep feeling like I'm heading that way. Maybe I need to research what sort of cure I need to keep me on this job until it's done. Phoenix, desks usually represent bills and other financial obligations. Have you got either in your life that you are avoiding right now? Are you afraid that if you organize the desk you will also have to 1) balance your checkbook, 2) get caught up on your bills, 3) make a budget, 4) find overdue bills in the pile? If you say yes, you have some money problem in your life right now, fix that money problem FIRST, then you can tackle the desk because you won't be afraid of what problems cleaning it will unleash. Sometimes fear of what we will find causes us to not clean. In some cases, it's the very real physical fear of bugs or snakes, but usually it's a fear of finding a bigger problem, or of releasing emotions. For instance, it's easy to procrastinate about cleaning out a deceased love one's personal things because you are not ready for the release of emotion that might come from finding something that hits you right in the heart, like grandpa's eyeglasses or mother's bible. You never know what item is going to bring all the grief flooding back, so you avoid everything until you feel that you have finished grieving in your own time.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:45:13 GMT -5
pink.cshmereMessage #193 - 07/01/08 02:58 AMPhoenix, desks usually represent bills and other financial obligations. Have you got either in your life that you are avoiding right now? Are you afraid that if you organize the desk you will also have to 1) balance your checkbook, 2) get caught up on your bills, 3) make a budget, 4) find overdue bills in the pile? BINGO!! Keriamon gets the prize. I've always known that my desk is a surefire indicator of the state of my finances. I battle the desk and my money almost every day, run around in circles with both, get frustrated with both, then usually give up on both. Now what's my problem with the rest of the house?? 
abundanceandprosperityMessage #194 - 07/01/08 02:44 PMI love this thread! You gals keep me motivated with your progress and self-honesty. You are right, I am organized, however I am still an occasional procrastinator. Keriamon's assertion that her mental move to self-employment has led to the abandonment of her current job (in a physical and emotional sense) hits very close to home. I've mentioned many times that DH and I are waiting for many life changes (TTC, wanting to move cross-country, wanting to be SAHM, wanting to be homeowners again, etc.). That sense of waiting, the temporary nature of our daily life is draining and difficult to live through. Like Keriamon we want the money of our current jobs until the time is right to make the move (becoming pregnant and DH landing a new position) and so need to avoid sabotaging ourselves. So Keriamon, if you find a "cure" please share it... On a related topic, six months ago five girlfriends met for dinner and all admitted to being ready to start a family. Of those five two are already pregnant. Of the others one is me... and the other is a friend who has been trying to conceive (the TTC- term I keep using) for 2-3 years. I just realized in the previous discussion of the L-shaped house that they moved into an L-shaped house at the time they started TTC. The missing section is part of the creativity/children section and people/travel. What cures are there in the feng shui sense? Also, all floors of my house have stairs in our child section and the part of the child section within her house is the stairwell. I think I read that is not so good for becoming pregnant. Does anyone know a cure for that?
keriamonMessage #195 - 07/01/08 03:37 PMI battle the desk and my money almost every day, run around in circles with both, get frustrated with both, then usually give up on both. I see the problem here: tackling two things at once. Since the desk reflects the money, start with the money. Ignore the desk. Do your bill organizing, budget making, checkbook balancing on the kitchen table or somewhere that's not your desk. Now, don't make a new place to pile bills. Take to the table those things which you are going to work on. Work on them. Have a trash can handy to toss trash in. The easiest way to organize bill receipts/statements is to get an accordion folder and label a section per month. So you have 12 sections for 12 months. Then stick the statement for the mortgage, water bill, etc. into the month that corresponds when it's due. Obviously, only file statements once that bill has been paid. But that's the easiest system for filing that paper junk. And when you go through a full year, you start over. So July of next year, you shred or burn last July's statements and put the new statements in there. For regular bills, there is almost never a reason to keep a record of them for more than a year. The only exception is if you are having a dispute with someone. If something is up, I will pull bills from multiple months and keep them in a separate file until the dispute is cleared up. But the vast majority of the time, one year is plenty of time to keep an electric bill. You may also want to try my patented bill-tracking method, which is, when you get a bill in that needs to be paid, use a magnet to stick it to the front door (or, if your front door is not metal or you're embarrassed to put bills there, put them on the fridge--but put nothing else on the fridge). It's hard to miss seeing that bill right there on the back of your front door every time you walk in and out (or every time you're in the fridge). If you have a number of bills, you can even put them in order down the door with the one that needs to be paid soonest at the top. So, when it's time to pay, grab the bill off the door and either take it to your computer and pay it right then, or take it to your kitchen table and write a check. When the paying is done, file the statement away and then put your checkbook and accordion file back wherever they belong and that way you don't create a mess on your kitchen table. In other words, you're not making a second desk. I'm also a fan of the written budget. I know a lot of people are into Excel and Quicken and things like that, but if you have a problem with your desk, then you should probably avoid a computer to start with. Start with a written budget. I write a budget in a small notebook every time I get paid. What am I spending this paycheck on this month? I write down the money I have from this paycheck, then section it off into money reserved for groceries, gas, and misc/fun. Then I take out whatever bills I owe. Then what's leftover, I decide how to spend. Pay down bills? Save? A budget really is nothing more than taking your available funds, subtracting everything that needs to be paid, and then deciding what you want to spend the remainder on. If a system is too complicated, you will never follow it. I'm a big fan of making things as simple as possible. Now what's my problem with the rest of the house?? Perfectionism? FlyLady helped me see some of that in myself. The idea that if I can't do it all right now, I will wait until I have time to do it all. Guess what? That time doesn't come--unless it's the day before you are going to have visitors and you run around like a chicken with its head cut off cleaning up everything until you fall into an exhausted heap and vow not to clean anything again for a month. FlyLady has a saying to help people who are immobilized by their perfection: housework done incorrectly still blesses your family. Or, as I like to salt it up a bit, a half-assed job is better than no job at all. Think about it. Is it better the house is halfway clean or not clean at
keriamonMessage #196 - 07/01/08 03:38 PM all? A halfway clean house is easier to get ready for company than one that's not clean at all. When the mess is really deep, though, sometimes it's a problem of knowing where to start. You know this is your problem if you go into a room, turn around a few times, pick up something or maybe not, then wander back out of the room looking for a less depressing room to work in to start with. FlyLady and Karen Kingston both have solutions for this. FlyLady says you can do anything for 15 minutes. If you set an egg timer for 15 minutes and just work as fast as you can, it really is amazing how tidy you can make a room. You may not have it perfectly neat, but most rooms can actually be company ready (well, family and close friends) in 15 minutes. Like I said, the only trick to it is you have to work solid for 15 minutes. No spending 5 minutes turning around in circles. Karen Kingston says, when it comes to decluttering, just start with a drawer. Rooms are large; break them down into drawers, then shelves, then tables and countertops, then furniture (as in you pile stuff up in chairs), then cabinets, then floors. That should cover every single part of any room in your house. You may want to draw out your room and section it up and give yourself, say a week, to do a section. Or you may take sticky notes and label each drawer and so on with a number. Then start with number one; when it's been decluttered, remove the sticky. So you can not only see your progress in ever-tidying things, but the number of brightly-colored sticky notes will be reduced as you go along. When it comes to just getting a messy room picked up, I like to try and do the most noticeable things first. The easiest things to do in a room are 1) pick up the trash. So always take a trash bag with you when you go into a messy room. Pick up all the trash you can find, then set the bag outside the room. It's amazing how much neater that makes things look suddenly. 2) Pick up all dirty clothes and shoes. A laundry basket is the second tool you take with you. My husband sheds clothes all over the house like a snake. So there are always plenty of clothes to pick up, and when they're up, things look better. 3) Pick up dirty dishes and take them to the kitchen. We eat all over the house, so we have dishes all over the house. You can really clear some surface area up by getting the dishes out of the way. If you have children, picking up toys (good use of a second laundry basket--one basket per child and separate the toys as you go--then take the basket to their room) would be the fourth major step. Once you have done those three or four things, the room will suddenly look halfway decent. And you will no longer feel lost about how to pick up the rest of it. Once I have done those three steps, I then start in one spot--usually a corner--and start working my way outward. While clearing up big, messy things makes an overall impact, once the big stuff is out of the way, you get the most noticeable improvement by doing an entire section at a time. I tend to make little piles as I go. Pile of papers to file, pile of things to put back on my sewing table, pile of things to take out to the garage, pile of things for the bedroom, etc. When everything is in a pile, then I simply take each pile to the appropriate room and put it all away. And never underestimate mopping the floor or vacuuming the carpet to make a room look cleaner. Even if you can't fully finish picking up a room, clean the floor that's uncovered. Instant visual improvement. Karen also says it helps the chi because you are getting rid of the low-level chi that is attracted by plain old gunk. Low-level chi can cause depression, self-esteem problems, etc. It's like having a friend who is always dragging you down. Physically clean spaces get rid of that low-level chi. And, again, any start is a good start. So if you can only vacuum the one trail that everyone walks through the living room, then so be it. Low-level chi also attracts more gunk, so getting rid
keriamonMessage #197 - 07/01/08 03:39 PM so getting rid of the gunk and chi in that area is more likely to uplift the chi enough that you will feel like cleaning out a bit more. Remember, like in Taoism, everything in Feng Shui is a circle, like the chicken and the egg analogy. Did junk cause chaos in your life, or did your life get chaotic and cause the junk to pile up, visually reflecting what you are feeling? In the end, it doesn't matter what started it. It is important to know that it's usually a self-perpetuating cycle. So long as you have chaos, you will have junk, and so long as you have junk, you will have chaos. The circle will not break itself; you have to consciously say no more of this and change it. Hopefully you will make a new circle which has good things in it which will self-perpetuate. Future Planning, I'm going to do some research for you; I don't know cures off the top of my head for your problem/friend's problem. As someone who doesn't want children, I don't pay much attention to that section myself, LOL. But, I have recently learned that it does indeed link up with creativity as well, so people who want to write a book or create art or produce anything (hence it being related to children as well) need to take care of that space. Since I am looking at becoming an artist, that's a section I need to know about myself.
keriamonMessage #198 - 07/01/08 04:38 PMHere we go. Staircases: These are constant conduits for chi; it is always flowing up and down. Where the staircase begins and ends is important—especially at the bottom. If directly across from the front door, your chi will flow right out of your house. If across from a bathroom, it will flow right down the pipes/toilet. If you have stairs with a door (like basement stairs), keep the door shut to keep your chi from going out of the house. Just know you will need extra help in whatever section of the house you are blocking off doing this. If you have room, you may erect a half wall or ornamental screen between the stairs and the door to block the chi from exiting right out the door. Staircases are also empty areas because the chi never lingers, so whatever section they are in, they will cause a void. You can correct this by sectioning up your rooms to the bagua and adding extra cures in each room to the section that corresponds to the missing section in the house (such as the child/creativity section). You can also leave a light on in the stairwell 24 hours a day to help anchor some chi. (This is also good from a safety standpoint as well; dark stairs are not safe.) You can also see if you can move your stairs. But not in the literal sense, of course. The bagua is oriented towards the door that everyone comes in and out of the most—the mouth of chi (how it comes in and goes out). If you have a split-level house with an entrance on each floor, and you use them pretty equally, then you would actually orient your bagua per floor and according to the door you come in; meaning your bagua for the bottom floor may be oriented a different direction than the one upstairs. If you have a house with more than one entrance, how hard would it be for you to make the secondary entrance your primary one? As in go in your backdoor instead of the front one? If you make a different door your primary entrance—provided it’s not on the same wall as the original door—you will reorient your bagua, which will likely put the stairs in a different section. It doesn’t correct the emptiness of the stairs, but if can get them out of the section that you need the most help with at the moment. Also, if they are opposite the front door and you stop using the front door, voila, no more chi escaping.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:45:24 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #199 - 07/01/08 04:39 PMFor children, again, it’s often a matter of putting up what you want to get. Like if you are alone, but want friends or a spouse, then you arrange everything in pairs. Since “baby makes three” I would try arranging things in threes. Also, pictures of children are an obvious thing. My mother has always been fond of the pictures of a little girl and a dog. Although if you want a boy, you might try putting up pictures of little boys. Pictures of you and hubby as children help. Pictures of family members in general help; that’s what you are wanting: an extension of the family. And pictures should be easily placed in the stairwell. You may also consider getting out some of your or your spouse’s old toys—teddy bears, blankies, etc.—and place them in the child section of individual rooms. Many toys can be artfully and neatly arranged so that they look like a purposeful decoration. For smaller things, or clothing, consider framing them in a shadowbox. If you have a baby quilt, get some sort of quilt holder to display it. Quan Yin, the female Buddha, is associated with fertility. If it doesn’t offend your religious tradition, you might get a statue of her and put her in the child section of any room. Put her where you can easily touch her, and get in the habit of touching her every time you walk past. If you prefer a Christian element, then the Virgin Mary, especially if she’s holding the Christ child (also a good picture to have). Touching is VERY important in all religious traditions. More often than not, Jesus laid hands on people to cure them. One leper woman was cured when she just touched the hem of his robe. Even today, certain charismatic Protestant groups still do a laying-on of hands to help people who are sick, or do foot washing, which has a lot of symbolism, but is ultimately about community.
keriamonMessage #200 - 07/01/08 04:41 PMIn many other religious traditions and superstitions, touching a pregnant woman (especially belly-rubbing) was supposed to impart fertility. Funny enough, wedding items are often linked to fertility. And I don’t mean throwing rice after the couple. In the earlier part of the middle ages, when a bride went to the honeymoon suite, she was stripped naked—not only for her husband, but because the guests wanted to make off with her stuff; anything worn at a wedding was lucky, including for married women who wanted children! Today brides cryogenically preserve their wedding dresses for posterity—I guess so they can be buried in them when they’re 94. But in the Victorian period, wedding dresses were often cut up to make a baby’s christening gown. Thus why christening gowns tend to be white and covered in lace and other elaborate frou-frou; all that stuff is supposed to come off the wedding dress! This tradition may be a hold over from the idea that things worn in weddings are lucky; you keep your lucky dress until a baby is born, then you wrap your baby up in a lucky dress made from your lucky dress. So you may want to commune with your old wedding dress a bit! But, in any event, touching is like a transfer of power. Or, if you want to look at it a different way, it focuses your own power. To touch something is to be very physically aware of it. It’s not something you ignore, like things you look at or hear. Every time you touch something—like a fertility icon—you are focusing your subconscious mind on what you want—fertility. Also, don’t forget that the first thing you want to do is declutter and clean house. Cures for any problem will give you lackluster results, at best, if your home is full of junk and physically dirty. At worst, they will multiply your junk and dirt. I think this is especially true for anyone trying to conceive, as what’s the first thing a pregnant woman wants to do? Get the house ready for the baby. She nests, to put it in primitive terms. I would think that going ahead and cleaning up house would be a good first step towards getting pregnant. Not to mention it just leaves you with decorating a room to do; you won’t have to give the place a total scrub down while pregnant.
abundanceandprosperityMessage #201 - 07/01/08 07:09 PMKeriamon you rock! Thanks for the info. Some of it is as I feared... stairs face the front door, no other door realistic for daily use, no space to put anything between the stairs and door. In the lower level the stairs face the bathroom... So I will focus on photos, groups of three, and child objects. DH is going out of town soon so I will finally tackle the attic (the only area still cluttered and dirty). I am thinking of getting rid of everything we won't want to move with us and packing some things (maybe this will help our plans for change). Also, scrubbing down that space should help get rid of the bad energy of the former occupant. I'll see if my friend is open to discussing these ideas for her own house.
abundanceandprosperityMessage #202 - 07/01/08 07:13 PMOh, one more thing. Since the child section is also the creative section, I am thinking that hanging some of the photos I have taken (my creative outlet) on the stair wall would be a double blessing. There are some that I have taken of my niece and nephew, since they are children, family and loved ones that should really serve my purpose...
keriamonMessage #203 - 07/01/08 08:05 PMAlso, scrubbing down that space should help get rid of the bad energy of the former occupant. Sounds like you need Karen's other book, "Creating Sacred Space" (that may be "with Feng Shui"). She has a ritual you do to clear out stuck energy, including predecessor energy. There are more Feng Shui-type cures in it, whereas the "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui" book is just about cleaning out. So the clutter book is the precursor to the sacred space book (even though she wrote them in the opposite order). Since the child section is also the creative section, I am thinking that hanging some of the photos I have taken (my creative outlet) on the stair wall would be a double blessing. Yes. In fact, I was just reading that if it's creativity that you are after, putting something you made in that section generates more creativity. Taking pictures of kids should help, as would making dolls. stairs face the front door, no other door realistic for daily use, no space to put anything between the stairs and door. In the lower level the stairs face the bathroom... The bathroom is an easy fix; always keep that door closed. For the front door, I got mixed reviews on wind chimes. Some people said they helped catch chi and keep it from running out the door and some people are just anti-wind chime. In my old apartment, I had a wind chime above the door. The clapper was just long enough that the door would hit it, but it wouldn't get caught in the door. So every time I opened the door, I got this merry little twinkle of sound. I don't think I needed a cure at all at the entrance, and that wasn't the area for metal, but the sound was what I needed when I was lonely and coming home to an empty house all the time. It was an uplifting sound. Like my house was greeting me. And telling me goodbye when I left. The children section is a metal section, so metal chimes are your best bet, although they don't have to make noise all the time, like mine did. They visually trap chi. But if your hubby doesn't like chime noise, you might try wooden/bamboo chimes. They make less noise and a different noise altogether from metal chimes. They also represent wood, which is a family/foundation element, so an appropriate substitute, I would think. But if chimes are totally out, what about a Native American dream catcher? You can't tell me that's not about catching chi--just has a different name for it. If you are like most, there's some sort of wall over part of your stairs as you come down them. That is where I would hang my dream catcher--right on the wall over the stairs so that the chi doesn't fly down them (on the wall mind you, not down where you are bumping it with your head). A secondary location would be over the front door. White is the color of choice in this section, so try and find one wrapped in white. Metal is the element, so metal beads would be a good decorative addition. I made some as earrings once; it's not that hard to do. If you are handy, get a wooden embroidery hoop and wrap it in white leather strips, white ribbon, or white bias tape. Hot glue or Elmer's glue the ends down. Then take white buttonhole thread and make big loops fairly evenly around the hoop. When you get back to where you started, move up so that you are making loops around your first row of loops. Continue working inward, drawing the thread tight. You can probably find pictures and instructions online. As I mentioned, add metal beads, especially in threes, to the webbing and to the dangles. Three dangles, of course.
keriamonMessage #204 - 07/01/08 09:31 PMYou are right, I am organized, however I am still an occasional procrastinator. Keriamon's assertion that her mental move to self-employment has led to the abandonment of her current job (in a physical and emotional sense) hits very close to home. I've mentioned many times that DH and I are waiting for many life changes (TTC, wanting to move cross-country, wanting to be SAHM, wanting to be homeowners again, etc.). That sense of waiting, the temporary nature of our daily life is draining and difficult to live through. Like Keriamon we want the money of our current jobs until the time is right to make the move (becoming pregnant and DH landing a new position) and so need to avoid sabotaging ourselves. So Keriamon, if you find a "cure" please share it... I know what the cure is, but implementing it is tough, lol. Buddhism--even the Dalai Lama in one of his books--would say be content in the here and now. Or in Yoda-speak, "Always has he looked away. Never his mind on where he was. What he was doing." (Poke with stick.) "The future. Bah. Adventure. Hmph. A Jedi craves not these things." Yes, I know you are laughing, but the Jedi "religion" was very purposefully based on Buddhism; Zen, in particular, if I'm not mistaken. Jedis were supposed to be intergalactic samurai. With smaller egos. But, there you have it. If you focus on the now instead of the more distant future, you'll find a way to make the present tolerable. Which, as I said at the beginning, is easier said than done. Personally, I'm rearranging my office at work. I was just sitting there yet again today, stuck in the same old rut. I have made some stirs to get out of it, but then I fall back into it. So I decided to take my own advice about sometimes it's not even about good or bad feng shui, but you change stuff up just to change up your life. Although I did have some room for some feng shui improvements. My back was to the door, which is the worst position you can have at a desk. If you can't move, a mirror reflecting the door behind you is the best alternative, but I didn't really want one, so I did manage to move so that I have the door to my left. Hopefully this will make me feel better; I about jump out of my skin when people come up behind me. Now maybe I can see them out of the corner of my eye first. I also printed off a bagua and I'm trying to organize things around it. I had my computer in my prosperity corner, which is supposed to be good, except I know the back-to-door was negating all of it. So it got moved to the family section. Which is also represented by green and wood, so I put a pretty forest picture as my backdrop and I'm going to make a screen saver of green woods pictures too. I also had a little green plant, so I moved it off a high shelf were I couldn't see it and put it by my computer where I can (it also hides the ugly pile of computer cables). I haven't finished all of it (I'm covering the phones at the moment), but we'll see what else I can move around that might match up well. Oh, the wisdom section is good for books. I have books and manuals and things, but they're in the opposite corner from wisdom--which is currently occupied by an empty file divider that I never use! Hmm, wonder if there is a connection between that and feeling like my talent is going wasted/unused? So, anyways, I have some more work to do in my little closet (aka the walk-in-refrigerator). I'll keep you posted as to whether or not it improves my morale.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:47:00 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #205 - 07/01/08 11:08 PMDoh. I'm back at my bagua. So I had nothing but an unused piece of office equipment in wisdom. I was storing books in prosperity (nothing like storing my boring work in the corner that's made to increase it!), and my fame and reputation section was where I kept... my food for the week! Think maybe I don't want my reputation to concern food? Lol. So I've moved my books to wisdom. I have a picture of me and my husband and some building plans in my family/foundation section--along with the green/tree elements. And I moved my food and tea to prosperity. I'd much rather my food double! I'm also going to find a water picture, I think, to hang up on a black spot of wall. And although I couldn't leave my computer there, I do have my scanner there at the moment. I still have some moving around to do tomorrow. I'm off to Target now to find myself a desk lamp; since I moved my computer, one of my under-shelf lights is right behind it and I don't like staring into it; it's like driving into the sun. And I can't turn it off since I never use my overhead light; it's so terrible it gives me headaches and I almost never get headaches.
2007debtheavenMessage #206 - 07/02/08 01:38 PMKeriamon That's interesting about the tree. It does need to be trimmed though, but the neighbors won't cooperate. I just finished straightening up DS1's room. His packed bags and boxes from his old sublet are in a neat pile in the corner, and everything else is in its place and squeaky clean. (Except the bed which is still next door.) DH promises to get the bed and paint the radiator and door in the next few days. My next two projects are my last few boxes in the basement storage room (DH has some left too), and DS3's desk and toys but I need to wait till August to do most of that.
keriamonMessage #207 - 07/02/08 04:27 PMI was just reading that if you feel like you are getting bad vibes from across the street (including corners or other angles pointed your way, a road across from you or a business or school or anything else that's excessively busy), you can hang a mirror over your front door to reflect your chi back inside (and, by extension, block incoming chi). You just have to be careful that you don't end up feeling trapped in your own home. If you find yourself feeling stuck at home, or reluctant to go out the door, then take down the mirror. But if whatever poison arrow or other chi flow from outside is very strong, then the mirror should make it feel easier to go out the door. I've done, undone, and done up my desk again this morning. Lol. And I'm still not finished. I ended up putting my computer back in my prosperity corner, but I left where I sit as more next to the door instead of with my back directly to it. I just left my computer tower sitting where it was (lying flat), but moved my monitor, keyboard and mouse over to where I want to sit. I put then put my scanner on top of the computer, so I should not be short any more desk space than when my monitor sat on top of the computer and my scanner sat directly on the desk. After a lot of fussing with it, I finally got a mirror hung up where I can see some more of the door. Also got a banker's desk light so I don't have to use the under-shelf light that's now in my eyes. It's dimmer in here than in pretty much anyone else's office, but I think it's homier feeling. Feels more like a room in a house than an institutional office space. If I had a window, I'd hang curtains, LOL.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #208 - 07/02/08 05:02 PMSo much for all my decluttering that I've done. In the span of two weeks my place has gone from sparkling and mostly decluttered to oh good lord. Piles of clean and dirty dishes in the kitchen, you can tell I'm shedding all over the house, piles of carp all over the place. And I never did get to the closet all those weeks ago. It is now officially a disaster zone. The only good thing is that I got rid of the fabric I am never going to use( the intent was I was going to learn to sew, I've been trying to learn since I was 5 and I have yet to discover the patience to do so). The downside is that I gave it to my mom and since it was girly fabric, she's now bugging me about getting cracking on producing grandkids for her so that she can learn to sew baby clothes. Dad's already given her the lecture on how it's none of her business so I should be safe till one her friends becomes a grandmother again. I am not big on the researching on what should go where and like learning by just doing. I'm on the third floor and have put up a bird feeder for the little guys that like to use my railing as a landing zone. Somehow that bird feeder is affecting more aspects of my life then I thought it would. My relationship is helped because DH and I will sit on the couch and look out the sliding door at the birds. Just sitting there, saying nothing and being as quiet as possible is bringing us closer then when we tried doing all sorts of different things together. I'm much more peaceful in general since watching them is enough to make me forget what it was that was upsetting me. I laugh more at the antics they get up to and how putting that feeder up has turned me from a human to be feared into a slave that they yell at once the feeder is empty. I have no clue what bagua it is in or what birds mean. Just that it brings a heck of alot of peace into my life. I also needs suggestions as to what to do. DH is going back to school. He's miserable in his job and while he's good at it, it's not what he wants to do. He wants to go from just a means to an end to something that will bring him some kind of satisfaction in life. Even if it's something that doesn't have the pay potential that his current field has. He's going to become a teacher. Part of his job now is teaching people how to use computer software and that's the only part of his job that he likes. It's what he started to go to school for but stopped because of outside influences telling him the computers were better then teaching. I'm all for this change. What can I do to encourage good energy about this? Even if it's not related to house stuff? We are already cutting our bills in prep for this. I just don't want this to be any more stressful then it already is going to be. He's really worried about the money aspect of it( he's bringing in the bulk of our income and I just can't run out and get a second job as any job will cause me to lose my current income) and I know that he's not looking forward to more student loans. Well I guess I'm off to attempt to bring order to the chaos that is my home.
keriamonMessage #209 - 07/02/08 06:58 PMMarti, good for your husband. I'm in the same boat and hopefully will be giving up my daily grind for the arts movement the end of this year. We are luckier, though, in that we can live off just my husband's income, so if things are slow to make money for me, we can float along. Also, since I will be working from home, I plan on doing as much as I can to decrease our costs. Right now I have a lot more money than time in my life. Soon it will be the opposite. Unless your husband is also going to work a part-time job while in school (something to REALLY think about), he should be using the extra time that college allows for to reduce your costs. For me, that means planting a vegetable garden next year, maybe getting some chickens for eggs. I will also cook as much as possible from scratch and I will now have the energy to go to more than one store to get stuff at the cheapest price (just be careful that any distance you go out of your way is more than made up by the savings, especially with gas prices the way they are now). Also, has he contacted any schools about employment? At the grammar school and high school level, you can sometimes get a job with just a related BA degree and they will let you work on getting your certification while you teach. This is especially true in states or areas where teachers are hard to come by. Even at my private high school, my old history teacher told me this, trying to get me to come back to teach. And you can imagine that a private school probably has an easier time getting teachers than public ones. Teachers are hard to come by in my state, that's for sure. And substitute teachers are in even higher demand; I think any warm body that's not a convicted child molester can substitute teach around here. So, if all your husband lacks is the certificate--he's not having to take a couple of years of classes to change his major--then he might very well could teach while going to school part time. Okay, that's the money aspect. Now, feng shui. In such a turbulent period in both of your lives, it would really be best to max out every bagua section! But we'll start with what's most important. Number one for husband is going to be the career/life path section, of course. This bagua section is on the same line as the main entrance, and in the center. Here is a good bagua: www.fengshuipalace.com/bagua.php Remember, the bottom of this bagua--the black section, which represents career--should always be on the same line as the main entrance. It doesn't matter if your entrance is in the blue, black or gray section, but it must be in one of the three. You can apply this bagua to your entire property/yard by aligning it with your driveway. You can apply it to your house by aligning it with the door you come in and out of the most (this may or may not be your front door; if you come into the house by way of a back door or garage door, then you align to that. It's the FAMILY door, not the company door). If you have a split-level house with two separate entrances that you use equally, you apply the bagua to each floor separate from the other floor and align to that floor's main entrance. Finally, you can apply the bagua in each individual room in your house, aligning it to the door into the room that connects it to the rest of the house (for a private bath, you will use the door that connects it to the bedroom). Closets are about the only "room" that you don't bother to apply the bagua to--you include them in your room as if they were not separated by a wall--BUT they need the most attention to de-cluttering! A lot of people only apply the bagua to the house overall, but if you apply it to the outside, overall house and individual rooms, you can really pack a punch. Applying to the yard and the house as a whole generates little conflict. It's pretty easy to just decorate outside. But if you apply to the overall house and then to each room, you have some work making them mesh. For instance, let's say you have a room that's completely in the prosper
keriamonMessage #210 - 07/02/08 06:59 PMFor instance, let's say you have a room that's completely in the prosperity corner of the house. Inside that room, it has a prosperity corner. This is where you want your biggest feng shui cure if you need money. Prosperity is also represented by the color purple and primarily by the element water (there is a secondary color and element). As this is the prosperity room for your entire house, you may want to paint it purple, or just one or two walls of it. If it's not a bathroom, or where it can look out on a lake or other waterscape, then add a water element, like a fountain, preferably in it's own prosperity corner. You can add helpful elements in the other sections of the room--like a bookcase in the wisdom section or a painting with a lot of red in it in the fame section, but overall the prosperity section for the house must dominate this room. Purple and water elements (and/or secondary colors or elements) must dominate. Good chi elements for the other sections must be minor to the overall theme of the room. With one exception; if you have a house that's missing a section entirely because it's oddly shaped, then you need to beef up the cures that you apply to the corresponding section in each room. So if you are missing your child section and want a child, then you really do up the cures in the child section of every other room in your house. It still should not overwhelm the overarching theme to that room, but you can certainly bring it up to the point that it's a very noticeable element. So, for your husband, you need to be hitting the career section of your yard, house and each room. As this always lines up with the main entrance, and may include the main entrance, make sure you don't need to make repairs to your driveway, to your porch or big garage door (if you have them and they are part of your main entrance), and make sure every door in the house works well, does not squeak, has a good doorknob, and there is nothing behind them that prevents them from opening up. They need to at least open up 91 degrees. That's slightly more than perpendicular to their hinge and, to me, defines a fully-open door, versus one that's only partially open. Where houses are designed so that the door opens back against a wall, you will notice that they open up slightly more than 90 degrees. Besides having furniture or junk behind a door to keep it from opening back all the way, you need to be careful about hooks on the back of doors. They generally should not be used on any door that you can see from the bedroom. You can use them on the inside of closet doors, and I have hooks for robes on the inside of a toilet/shower room. If you have a bathroom like ours--where the shower and toilet are separate from the bath and sinks--treat all of it as one room and treat accordingly. Your mind really does not see the toilet room as being separate from the rest of the bath, even though it technically is. The career section's color is black and its element is water. Of course, painting a room black is not something you are going to want to do! But blue, being a watery color, is the secondary color for this section, so a blue room would be doable. You can also add black decorations to this section. That can be pictures with a black element or a large black frame, or black furniture or black leather seating. A black water fountain would be wonderful! Even better, in fact, is a fountain in front of a mirror. Mirrors are considered water elements because they reflect. And if you reflect an object, it tends to multiply it. So reflecting a water element would double its potency. Just make sure it does not point towards anything cluttered (like a closet opposite it, even if you keep the door of the closet closed all the time) or you will double your clutter! And don't forget things that are related to water are water elements. Fish and seashells are both water elements. Or any sort of nautical decoration, like lighthouses or boats. Anything that anyone would look at and instantly think "water/river/ocean" is
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:47:17 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #211 - 07/02/08 07:00 PMa water element. The next thing I would focus on is the fame/reputation section. This really becomes important in getting jobs, because it's all about how other people perceive you. You want to look good to other people if you want to network. This section is exactly opposite the career section, so it's easy to find. It is represented by red and fire. Candles are a good fire element. You don't have to light them, but doing so on occasion would not hurt and may help. Stoves, ovens and microwaves are fire elements in your kitchen. Fireplaces and furnaces are fire elements in other parts of your house. Anything that heats or cooks is a fire element. The secondary element is wood--because fire needs wood to burn, of course. I just added a fire element to my office--a reddish terracotta pot with a dragon on it. Depending on who you ask, dragons are either a fire or air element, but then those two elements go well together--since gas is the result of fire. And, personally, this really looks like a firey dragon to me. He's also partly painted red. Don't forget that fire is also linked to passion. A passionate picture of dancing or anything else that strikes you all as passionately stirring could go well in this section. Just be careful that you don't send the wrong message. A picture of someone going the tango could convey you as a passionate romantic (I'm sure you'd not complain if you husband was like that with you!), but a picture of, let's say, a passionate French liberty striding over the corpses of the aristocracy may get you labeled a firebrand. Not exactly what you want in a school setting. So be careful that the passion you display is one you'd like to actually display in yourself in real life. Don't forget, that these things work the same on you as your husband, so don't decorate all for him or you may feel like a stranger in your own home; make sure that things that get really representative--like pictures--reflect you both. Things like mirrors and fountains, though, are pretty general. It's mainly pictures you have to watch out for as leaning too much towards one person and not both. Next, he's going to want to concentrate on the wisdom section, which is always next to the career section, on its left. As I mentioned before, books are a good representative. Blue is the primary color and earth is an element. Rocks are a good representation of earth as are marbles, actually (because they simulate rocks). Landscapes, especially of open, grassy meadows are the sorts of pictures you would want to go there. Unless you can get pictures of books or a library. Computers can also go in this section, as most people use them for knowledge. This is also about inner knowledge, so religious items work well here, or meditative space. It sounds like your husband has gotten over the hump of figuring out his inner turmoil, so you may want to go with a more concrete, outward knowledge element since he needs help in studying. After this, I would look to prosperity, since you guys need some money help. The prosperity color is purple and it's primary element is water, secondary wood. Water, water, and more water in this section. And when you get tired of water, plants. Big, lush green ones with roundish leaves. You can have flowering plants too--purple would be, of course, ideal. I added a double element to my prosperity corner at work. I bought a piggy (fishy?) bank when I was in Ireland: it's the Chinese god of luck hugging a large goldfish. And, as I said, it's a bank, and I keep my foreign coin collection in it. I would say that gold is definitely a good secondary color in this section as the Chinese associate gold with money (unlike our coins, most, if not all of theirs are gold). Money is also round, so round tables, mirrors, lamps, etc. help. Okay, those are the major sections you guys need to work on. But don't totally neglect the other sections. You have the family section, which is also known as the foundation section. Important for someone switching careers to
keriamonMessage #212 - 07/02/08 07:17 PMfeel like he has the support of his loved ones, and also that he keeps roots. Career changes can leave you feeling like you are floating into the wild blue yonder; attention to this section can help keep him feeling at home with himself. It's primary color is green and it's element is wood. Another section to pay attention to at this time is the marriage section. You guys are about to go through a rough patch with the shakeup in career and the money issue. So don't harm this corner. It's is represented by the color pink and its elements are earth and fire (more fire if you need more passion, more earth if you need more solidarity). The creativity and children section is one he will most likely need to emphasize once he starts teaching. I assume he will be teaching children or young adults, so this section will help him deal with them, and he will also need creativity to be a good teacher. It is white and its element is metal. Finally, there is helpful friends/travel. This section could prove as useful as the fame section when it comes to getting a job, because helpful people in your life are, well, helpful. Also a good section to emphasis if he (or you) want to move somewhere else. It is represented by silver or gray and metal and water. Angels are actually a good thing to put in this section, as they represent an unseen helping hand. Or a picture of a saint, if either of you has a patron. The lady that has the bagua website said she likes to keep a box with notes of thanks for things that have not yet come true in this section. So your husband might write on a piece of paper "Thank you for the wonderful job." Or "I have excellent grades. Thank you." She says she tries to limit her wishes to three at a time. Karen Kingston does something very similar in that she writes down a wish, but she says get specific. For instance, when she was preparing to move, she wrote down everything she wanted out of her new apartment--including how much she was willing to pay--and she got it all. My mother has always said be careful what you wish for. Or, as Bill Cosby said in the same context, God has a wonderful sense of humor. Bill Cosby said he just prayed for a healthy baby. He forgot to mention that he really wanted a boy. My mother said she prayed for a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes and she did indeed get me, but she wasn't specific about wanting a girly girl, and to her dismay, I was always a tomboy. So if you are going to be specific, be REALLY specific. Don't leave loopholes if it's important to have just one thing. For instance, if your husband spots a school that he REALLY wants to work at, he should not wish to get a job or work at A school, but he should say "Thanks for the computer teacher job at Jones High School, making $40,000 a year." But, if you husband just wants to teach but is otherwise a free soul, then by all means just thank the universe in advance for getting him a job teaching and let the universe (or God) decide what he really should do. Maybe he is sort of thinking that teaching in a regular school would be great, but without any specific direction, he might end up teaching special needs people and love that even more than he could ever imagine. There are times in our lives when we really need X, but there are other times in our lives when we could get more than we expect if we are just open. It's up to him to decide which path to take. By the way, you can have a separate box with your own wishes in it. I would go with a silver metal box for each of you (make them look different so you can tell them apart) since the element is metal and color silver. Works out well that way. I have no clue what bagua it is in or what birds mean. Just that it brings a heck of alot of peace into my life. Like I say, feng shui is touchy-feely. What you ultimately do depends on the people that occupy a certain space. Like I mentioned earlier, I once hung up a wind chime above my front door not because I needed to correct the chi and not because I needed a mental element there;
keriamonMessage #213 - 07/02/08 07:18 PMwhat I needed most was the cheerful sound of the chimes greeting me when I came home to my lonely apartment. For you, the birds are calming. They're really a meditative element; many people meditate on elements of nature to take their minds out of the modern world and away from their burdens and worries. You have to have birds where you can have them; you don't get to choose to put them in your air section, or in your meditation section. But nonetheless, they help you tremendously and that's what matters most. Feng shui is not supposed to be rigid--have birds in your air element or not at all! That's not harmonious living in your house and/or surrounding environment. If the birds happen to be in your air section, that's fine; they will effect a stronger cure. But they are a cure for you, wherever they are. It's like pictures of family. Nice to have, but great if you can locate at least some of them in your family section. It just reinforces.
2007debtheavenMessage #214 - 07/02/08 08:47 PMwhat I needed most was the cheerful sound of the chimes greeting me when I came home to my lonely apartment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Keriamon, you rock. I'm so glad you're not lonely anymore. I hope your DH appreciates you even half as much as we do! And I can't wait till you leave that corporate life behind and go for it. I'm sure your DH will be your greatest fan, lol. Martivir, I can't help but wonder, why would you lose your income if you got a(nother?) job? In any case sometimes you just have to go for it. I think you and your DH are doing the right thing, you're setting goals and planning for them. I don't know what climate you live in (or I can't remember) but if it gets cold, in the winter you can put fat out for the birds. (I'm sure somebody can come up with the correct word.) Every year late fall DH hangs up a sausage near our birdhouse. One thing I've noticed on this thread is that many of the participants are trying to change something fundamental in their lives. Coincidence? I don't think so. I've not been happy in my job for a while. Decently paid jobs for English-speakers in France (even ones with an advanced degree) are rare, and with the economy here the way it is, getting rarer every day. I have a 90m-120m commute a day. I am very lucky, I work PT (3.5 days a week. Four days is very common here for women because younger kids here don't have school on Wednesdays, they have school on Saturdays. That will change next year, btw.) My co is moving out of the city next week, and my commute will go up to 120m-180m per day. Just horrible. I've been looking for a new job for a year, but can't find one with the same salary. (Actually I did, but it was for FT. I'm happy to work more hours for more money, but I won't work more hours for the same money.) I found out last week that my co will be offering a payout for people who have "too long" a commute (they set the definition of "too long".) I *should* qualify, but I'm waiting for the "official" commuting papers. If I do, I'd get a 15-20 months' payout, plus unemployment. Long enough to turn myself around. It would be a dream come true. Frankly it seems too good to be true. So like I said, I wonder about all of us who are looking into the Feng Shui aspect of things. I'm sorry I can't remember everybody who posted on this 18-page thread, but Keriamon, FP, Martivir and me are all looking to change major aspects of our lives. Others too, I know, I'm sorry I can't remember the names right now. I just thought that was interesting, and surely not a coincidence. PS I just made a deal with DH. If he fixes DS2's flooding toilet, gets DS1's bed from next door and paints DS1's door and radiator by the end of the month before we go on vacation, I'm letting him off the hook for the storage room until fall / winter when the weather turns. Either way I win, there's more floor space in that room now than there has been for many years.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #215 - 07/02/08 09:06 PM2007- It's disability. I just started receiving it after applying for it two years ago. The plan is for DH to work days and then go to school at night. We have loads of schools around here that are trying to attract "adult students" so most of them have night programs for people who are still working full time. The one thing that we are worried about is when he has to do student teaching. But we're good at finding a way to make things happen. It's not going to be easy but it'll be worth it. He's going back to become a 7-12 math teacher. He could also become a computer teacher if he wanted since he has degrees in both but math is his true passion.
2007debtheavenMessage #216 - 07/02/08 09:12 PMThanks for answering, Martivir. I'm sorry about the disability. I admire you and your DH doing what it takes to make this happen. I really hope things work out well for you. Also, since the birds give you such joy, have you ever considered getting some of your own as pets? Or even breeding them?! (That's my brain doing overtime, lol.)
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:47:56 GMT -5
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #217 - 07/02/08 09:40 PM2007- I have had birds as pets before. Even had a friend whose parents bred cockatiels(?). As pets I'm not as fond of them. As a kid we kept getting my aunt's birds once her kids no longer wanted them or were no longer caring for them. Of course a few months later they would beg for another bird and she'd get them another one. Each bird lasted about a year. I think she finally put her foot down after bird #4. After seeing that I vowed never to have birds as pets. I was constantly cleaning around their cage and while I don't mind cleaning the cage in general they were just so danged messy. Plus after having cats, dogs, fish and various rodents I know that I am a cat and rodent person. And yes in winter I can hang suet things up that are held together with fat. I accidently hung one up last year in the summer and it melted everywhere. Squirrels were happy, MIL's dog not so much  .
CoffeeGirlMessage #218 - 07/02/08 09:51 PMkeriamon - just a quick question - my brother and SIL do reenactment stuff and both of their birthdays are coming up. She loves the celtic stuff - do you have good ideas for me, a non-reenactor (like the word?). It's her 30th and it's really important to her, so i want to try to get her something she's not gonna hate (which is normal for my gifts to her)
keriamonMessage #219 - 07/02/08 10:10 PMwww.pillagedvillage.com/ These are good people who have stuff for medieval reenactors, ren faire participants, and people who like Celtic and dragon stuff. A bit of everything in each category. If she makes her own clothing, I say you can never go wrong with giving that person fabric. Silk, linen, wool. Pricey unless you really hunt. But just the thing for people like me. 7-10 yards. I think I can make myself a dress with as little as 5, but it has to be pretty wide. 7 yards is a safe number for me, but then I use a medieval pattern. Upwards of 10 for a commercial pattern (they're very wasteful). No prints. I'd also stay away from embroideried linens, as it's rare to find one with a medieval-style pattern. Woven silk brocade, though, is awesome. But your safest bet is a solid color in one of those three materials. Medieval people liked bright colors, but it's more important to get a color you know she likes. I wear liliac and sage green without apologies. And is there a re-enactor anywhere that doesn't have an Amazon wishlist???
CoffeeGirlMessage #220 - 07/02/08 10:14 PMThanks a BILLION! She does make her own clothes, but I really didn't want to go there. I have no idea really on fabric lengths, I think she would be roughly a size 20, but I do not know that to be true, and she is always complaining that she can't make more clohtes until she loses weight, which hasn't happened recently. I hadn't thought about looking her up on Amazon, another good idea. The website is pretty cool!
2007debtheavenMessage #221 - 07/02/08 10:20 PMMartivir I get you about the birds. DD had two parakeets, they died, she now has two more. I HATE seeing birds (or anything else) in cages. I said no more after the first couple, but she has learning issues and this past year we were all fighting to keep DD in mainstream. DD agreed to give it all she had, but begged us for "company" in her room, ie another bird. The woman who bred them would only give her two together, under the condition that DD would leave the cage open. She does, and I agree about the mess. DD wanted a "friend" but it's so cruel to have just one animal, and once you have two (couple or not) they are much less interested in humans. Same with our rodents. DS2 (now 20) is a HUGE rodent fan, we've always had rodents. Lone animals are so affectionate, but so lonely for their own species. So now we have two of each (a couple of parakeets and two gerbil brothers). The children are growing up and they know, no more caged animals. We actually broke that rule for DD's second set of parakeets. She did make it into mainstream HS though!
keriamonMessage #222 - 07/02/08 10:36 PMI'm sure your DH will be your greatest fan, lol. He better be! I plan on going back into housewife mode and keep things clean and make him supper and other meals. Amazing how much time you can have in a day when you're not spending two hours commuting and one eating lunch at work. Plenty of time to clean, cook, ride the horse and still put in 8 hours for myself. Marti, I completely forgot. The health bagua is in the dead center of all the other sections. In short, the middle of the house and the middle of every room. Which can make it difficult to decorate (it's color is yellow and its element is earth). In general, it's best to just keep the center of all your rooms clean and empty. But in some rooms, like a living room, coffee tables and things like that can be in the center of your room, and they have a tendency to pile up! So clear tables that are in the center of rooms, make up beds everyday and change sheets once a week (most beds stick out in the center of a room), and decorate tables with yellow flowers and stones or glass marbles. Also, no broken plumbing when you have internal health problems and no broken doors or windows if you have joint problems. If you have head problems (like migraines), make sure there is NO junk in the attic. One thing I've noticed on this thread is that many of the participants are trying to change something fundamental in their lives. Coincidence? I don't think so. LOL. Well, generally, people who were not raised to feng shui do not turn to it until they are in need of some serious help. Just like a lot of people start getting religious when really bad things are happening in their lives. So we all got problems, then decided to see if feng shui would help. I found out last week that my co will be offering a payout for people who have "too long" a commute (they set the definition of "too long".) I *should* qualify, but I'm waiting for the "official" commuting papers. If I do, I'd get a 15-20 months' payout, plus unemployment. Long enough to turn myself around. It would be a dream come true. Frankly it seems too good to be true. Emphasize your prosperity corner. Broken plumbing is the number one thing to fix! Water and money are closely linked and broken plumbing anywhere in your house is money down the drain (sometimes pretty literally!). Also emphasize your career section. That's what you are wanting--a new job. You need money from the old job and a new one to replace it with. Did you read what all I posted for Marti about getting her husband a job? Much of that would apply to you. Also I think the writing a wish thing would help. Thank the universe/God for giving you a job making X amount of salary, teaching English so close to home you can walk home everyday for lunch! Those are the things that seem most important to you--a short commute, a decent wage, and teaching English. BTW, I know that tutoring English privately is a decent side business in Japan. Is it in France? If you didn't have a school to teach at, could you tutor privately in your home? Think you could make enough to replace the lost income from this job?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:48:19 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #223 - 07/02/08 10:41 PMLone animals are so affectionate, but so lonely for their own species. So true. We have an only horse and when she lived at our house, she was always so happy to see us whenever we came out of the house or came home. Now she's boarding at a training facility and she doesn't give a smack about us anymore. Oh, it's you. Yeah, okay, I'll take a treat. Whatever. So RADICALLY different now that she has a herd. She also won't stay around us if one of the more dominant horses comes up. It's so odd when I'm used to her following me around like a dog most of the time. And treats, man she'd walk through fire for a treat. Now she seems indifferent to them. I know it's selfish to say so, since horses are very much herd animals, but I very much miss the horse she is when we are her herd.
jennifer2277Message #224 - 07/03/08 12:51 AMThanks for the Kiva link! I just went and donated $25 to finish up a woman's loan! Cool site! Jen
abundanceandprosperityMessage #225 - 07/03/08 02:10 PMIf you have head problems (like migraines), make sure there is NO junk in the attic. Keriamon, you are always so spot on! I lay awake restless in bed last night (unusual for me) and this thread popped up in my mind. Suddenly I realized that the attic directly above my head contained the worst clutter in our home. It is also the location where our air conditioner just leaked through the ceiling. Think I need to address this stat, doh!
keriamonMessage #226 - 07/03/08 04:11 PMshe is always complaining that she can't make more clohtes until she loses weight, That's sad.  She should make clothes to wear now. While it was unpleasant, when I regained my weight loss, I sucked it up and resized my dress pattern. Luckily, I only have one dress that was made when I was at my smallest (everything else was bigger and I took up the seams--which I later let back out). I'm still holding onto it to see what happens between now and winter, but if I'm not fitting into this winter, I'm going to do one of two things with it: give it away or piece it out. And I'm really leaning to piecing it out. Very medieval thing to do (you never waste clothes if you can help it) and it already has a gore in the underarm seam. All I have to do is take the gore out and replace it with a strip of fabric just as wide that goes down to the hips. The armhole won't be any bigger, so I won't have to refit the sleeve. And putting the panel in shouldn't be hard. Anyways, she should look good now. If she's always waiting until later to look good, she will never lose any weight. She's self-defeating, you see. If she's not good enough to have clothes, she's not going to be good enough to be thin. And even if she loses weight, she will never lose enough to feel better about herself. Been there, done that. Might I suggest you get her a series of books that I like? Anne Barone's Chic & Slim. I've mentioned them on other threads before. She talks about applying french eating styles to losing weight, but she also is very into looking great NOW. She reckons that once you get the hang of looking good on the outside, you will be more careful about what you put into your body. She also makes no apologies for dressing to look slimmer than you really are. She says french women do it all the time. The one book of hers that I like the best and which contains the most information is "Chic & Slim Encore." This is not a diet book in the traditional sense; there are no menus or meal plans. It's a lifestyle book. Even women who are already slim can get use out of it, because it also covers manners, dress, organization--lots of stuff. You might want to read it too and maybe the two of you support each other (even if you don't need to lose weight); 30 years old is a milestone and most women get really depressed about it. But Anne says a French woman can't even be considered finished until she's at least 30. She's not even in stride until then. After that life is better. Mind you, it helps to live in a culture where older women are respected as sex symbols, but a woman can still be great and older here. Just takes a bit more work to make sure everyone knows you are great! (I'm a about a size 16 myself, so I'd still hold to 10 yards for your sister for anything medieval she'd like to make for herself. Sounds like she needs something so pretty she HAS to wear it!) Speaking of Anne Barone, she made an interesting comment in a book of hers that I'm reading. That studies seem to show that stress can make one change in weight, regardless of calories consumed. We know that some people lose weight when they get stressed, but who wants to bet that most of us gain weight due to stress? Stress releases a certain hormone which is connected to fat storage, so I think these studies are right that stress causes us to store more fat and burn less calories. But this got me to thinking about our houses. Clutter in our house is like body fat. Now, just as we all need fat to make our bodies run, so we need stuff in our houses to make them functional. And just as some people should carry more or less fat depending on their frames, overall shape and a lot of other factors, so some houses will work better with more stuff and some houses will work better with less. But we all know there comes a point when there is just too much fat for anyone. And I the same is true of houses. Karen Kingston makes this connection, talking about how you are "dieting" your house by decluttering it. And that doing that, for some peop
keriamonMessage #227 - 07/03/08 04:12 PMAnd that doing that, for some people, results in a weight loss of their own. But I wonder if there is the stress connection there too? If stress makes most of us hoard fat, does it also make us hoard possessions? Do we feel like we are better prepared for rough times if we have an amply supply of fat and stuff? Of course, we recognize that our bodies are wired for caveman hunter-gatherer days and we do NOT need the reserves our body thinks we need. But can that not also be said of possessions? Are we not hoarding more possessions than we need? Just as food is just a corner away now, so too is the mall full of stuff. We no longer live on the frontiers where it takes three days just to get to town to buy some nails. We no longer have to wait for the elk to migrate past our cave before we can eat. And what made me think about this connection is someone else saying she had everything almost together and neat, but then it came apart. That happened at my house too. Isn't that reminiscent of a yo-yo diet? Lose the clutter, get everything into shape, then before you know it, it's all back? So what if there is a stress connection between both? What if some time spent meditating, doing yoga or tai chi, or participating in religious ritual helped keep your house and body together?
2007debtheavenMessage #228 - 07/04/08 06:26 PMKeriamon Thanks! I did read what you wrote to Martivir, in fact I just reread it. I have a real problem with the bagua business. If I "add" what I need to make the house whole, I get a parallelogram, because it's an "open" L. I'm going to think about things room by room instead. Most of the stuff you mention I already do. Keep surfaces uncluttered (can't do anything about DH's pile of papers on the desk though, and I've been trying for 15 years. I got him a pretty basket to put it in. Ditto for his nighttable overflow.) Make beds every morning, change sheets every week (ours. The kids' are changed every other week. When they are old enough to complain, they are old enough to change them whenever they like!) I'm a huge stickler for no visible hooks (except on the basement landing because kids don't hang up coats, so better the hooks than piles of coats). Same for doors that open complelely. Ironically the only one that didn't, between DS1's room and the storage room, does now. Our house is always ready for "company" (not for the company, but for me). Funny about the plumbing problems, that is the h.eck we've been going through for the past four months. All because we couldn't look in our manhole because it's on the neighbor's property (originally one property) and he wouldn't let us dig it up for three months because it would ruin his lawn. I finally got nasty. (It never should have been buried but that's what they did back then. He found it two years ago and reburied it, against our wishes.) So even though I knew before that plumbing problems = money down the drain, I learned it again. I also learned I should have insisted sooner. The good thing is that a lot of small things were repaired along the way since it took us months to figure out the source of the basement leak. So many the money will finally start flowing in the right direction, lol. This has cost us 12K total: new patio (we could have chosen cheaper tiles but we're not planning on moving so we chose the ones we loved), newly-done DS1's room (the cheapest tiles we could find, discontinued), water diviner, two downpipes, new sump pump, endoscopic cameras to check out the pipes. We'll be getting some back from insurance but we don't know how much yet. I'm hoping at least 5K. The patio and DS1's room look great but we would have preferred not to have the debt, DS1's room was fine in laminate and a new patio was absolutely not a priority. I've been talking to people (English teachers) about pay and it's horrible! It's 40% of my salary for the same hours! So that's no good. That's not university level, though. I guess maybe I'm better paid than I realize. They are basically women who do it for the "fun" or whose DHs are in business so they do it for the health coverage. I spent about two hours today putting odds and ends away in the house and the garden. I like the idea of writing my wishes down and putting them in a box. There was a WIRR West racer who put everything on a "vision board" and one after another of her "visions" came to pass. PS DH repaired DS2's flooding toilet yesterday, he painted DS1's radiator and door tonight. All he has left is to get DS1's bed from next door. I did well to offer him doing those three urgent things in exchange for not sorting the last of his storage room stuff till fall.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:51:29 GMT -5
2007debtheavenMessage #229 - 07/06/08 05:00 PMHah! We just came back from an overnight trip. We should go away more often! DH came back to 3500 in payments! Some was for a recent free-lance job, and most was a long overdue insurance settlement (6+ years!). We do yours-mine-ours and this is DH's money but wow! I told him it was because he finally sorted most of the basement, he said nonsense, but I know better. LOL. PS Keriamon, I thought of you! For Xmas, our kids gave us an overnight stay in a selection of hotels, good for a year. That's what we used this weekend (paying for gas and food of course.) DH chose a medieval fortress which has been turned into a B and B, about three hours away. The annual Ren Faire was in the next town. I got a huge kick out of that.
keriamonMessage #230 - 07/07/08 03:17 PMLOL. It was like some sort of message. Listen to me, get money. I need to market myself.  I told him it was because he finally sorted most of the basement, he said nonsense, but I know better. I was re-reading Karen Kingston's "Space Clearing with Feng Shui" this weekend and she told a story of having a lady hang a crystal in one of her windows as a cure. When she revisited the lady and asked how life was going, this lady was making good money and having all of these positive things happen in her life all of a sudden. When Karen said something about the crystal, the lady scoffed and said the stuff would have happened anyway. Karen told her she didn't want to push her stuff on her and offered to buy the crystal back from her if she didn't want it anymore and she said the woman jumped up and stood between Karen and the window with the crystal in it and said that wasn't necessary! LOL. Speaking of which, you might look into that book since you are in such desperate need of a new job. It's very little in the way of feng shui cures, but very heavy on clearing out stuck chi--which likes to accumulate in corners. Since it doesn't sound like you have a lot of decluttering that you need to do, it might be what you need to get out of your long commute and find something else. Don't forget to leave yourself open to working for international businesses who may need a native English speaker to communicate with England or American offices or write their English-language website. If I were you with that wish box--unless teaching kids English is just your passion--I'd make a list of things that are important, like commute time, pay, and friendly co-workers, and leave the job details open. Never know what you might get that way! And you are right about just applying the bagua to individual rooms when your house overall defies bagua placement. I read that on someone's feng shui site. Just make sure you do an extra good job in the rooms and especially don't forget the outside. I am going to have to do this myself because we live in a single-wide trailer, so it's 16 feet wide, but something like 64 feet long. When you place the bagua stretched out over it, it's ridiculous-looking. Too narrow to accomplish anything really, since a section generally isn't as wide as our couch! So I'm going to just do it room by room because pretty much all of our rooms are square, but the living room, and it's not too rectangular. I also need to apply it outside to our yard. I started in on Karen's chapter on feng shui cures in the back of her book on space clearing and the first place she starts is the outside of your house at the entrance. She says if it's a jungle out there, if you have to fight your way to the front door, then you will constantly be struggling to achieve anything. Everything in life will be difficult. Okay, confession time. We have a wide deck 3/4ths of the way around our trailer. So what's on the front section that you can see from the driveway? Trash that my husband's cleaned out of his car, but not put in the trash can. Tupperware and mugs he's likewise gotten out of his car, but not taken in the house. Various tools and lawn and garden stuff that belongs in the garage. More bits and pieces of rope than you can shake a stick at (and I don't even know where the vast majority of it came from or why it ended up molding on our porch). The Christmas wreath (!) that I haven't put back up in the garage. An old table and umbrella that really needs to go live at the trash . And weeds, weeds, weeds. First there's the 6 foot high wild buckwheat, or whatever it's supposed to be, growing all long the edges of the deck like some dense Tennessee jungle. Then there are the trees which are attempting to grow out of the edges of the deck (and succeeding quite nicely, whether we want them too or not). And worst of all are the briars. Nasty, thorny vines growing up through the deck all over the place. While we didn't have to fight our way through this stuff to get from car to front door, it's not
keriamonMessage #231 - 07/07/08 03:19 PMnot exactly a pleasant sight to greet one coming and going from home. So I started this weekend pulling up weeds, cutting the briars back and trimming up the trees so that they are not overhanging the deck to the point we can't walk comfortably under them. This morning I started picking up the brush and dumping it in the woods and picking up trash. I figure I've got a minimum of another hour, probably more like two, to get it all tidy. I guess because this deck is so wide and long, it's easy to trash it up without it looking like it's terribly trashed. But when you go around it and start to clean it up, the time it takes to get it presentable again shows how terrible it really is. And really, if anyone is having trouble knowing where to start, the beginning is a very good place! Think about the way chi flows. It comes in from outside using the same door you use most of the time. Then it starts flowing through your house. If your front door is in the center of your house (or near it, as ours is), then chi will break into two sections and flow in opposite directions. Although if one side of your house is where your den, living room, kitchen, dining room is, and the other side are bedrooms and baths, more chi will flow towards the larger rooms both because, like water, it will follow the path of least resistance--and a larger space is easier to flow into than a small one--and also because it will be attracted to those rooms where lots of people gather, versus rooms that only one person occupies. So, start with the entrance to your home, then the foyer just inside the door, then flow around through your house as if you were water. That way fresh, good chi will be coming in behind you as you tidy up. I'm hoping cleaning up the yard and front deck will give me a push forward. Whereas I used to keep the house pretty tidy most of the time, I have really been struggling at it for months. No motivation. And when I get one section cleaned up, another one collapses. So maybe by having such a messy, thorny, trashy outside, I've not had good chi coming in to help me clean up the inside. It's getting snagged and/or dirtied on its way in. I'm also going to see about getting a couple of hanging flower baskets. We have a couple of brackets in the trees around the deck, so it's no trick to hang them up. And I've been wanting some for some years, but have always been too cheap to buy them. But they would make it pretty and pleasant, so time to cough up the money. most was a long overdue insurance settlement (6+ years!) Yeah, getting a settlement that was 6 years overdue seems more than accidental coincidence at this point. Aren't you glad he fixed the plumbing?!?
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #232 - 07/07/08 03:43 PMThings keep rebounding here. I have some clutter that just will not go away and things seem to keep running in circles. DH was told he was not going to have to travel again for the rest of the year. He went back in May for training and now they are making him travel again in August for some conference. This time though they are driving down and I'm not sure he's going to have a job if he has to spend six hours in a car with not only his boss( the one that yelled at him for not asking for help, yet doesn't give him what he needs to complete the job in the first place) who just happens to be the company CEO and the company's CFO who is so tight fisted that the CEO had to beg to get funds for more printer paper! Yes DH is looking frantically for a new job that he can start in August. Late enough that he can finish the project he has at work but early enough that he won't have to go out of state. I have some items that no matter how hard I try to get rid of them they keep coming back. I've been trying to find a new home for a microscope. I've tryed to donate it( didn't work because the City Mission didn't want it because they had no use for it, and Salvation Army didn't want it because even though it was in the box with all pieces, the box wasn't in good enough condition for them), I asked people if they wanted it and nothing. Parents have taken it into work and no one there wants it either. I don't want to throw it out because it's never been used and the only reason it was opened was to make sure it was all in one piece. My parents are getting into the decluttering thing( dad wants to wait till he retires in a year, mom wants it done now because as she put it she'll" Make damn sure Dad has plenty to do once he retires". So now that they are going through their stuff, stuff they claim is mine is coming out of the woodwork. My junk is multiplying rapidly. I got rid of two large totes o' junk and now I have found myself the proud owner of three plus various sports items I told my parents to just dispose of as they see fit. I'm never going to go ice skating again and I never played golf to start with( my parents are the owners of an ENTIRE garbage can filled with various golfclubs. Like thirty of them). I think I just need to find a room and work from one end to the other. I think I am going to start with the former walk in closet which has turned into the " Open Door At Own Risk" closet. It's larger then my parents downstairs bathroom and yet is a safety hazard with everything we have managed to cram in there.
keriamonMessage #233 - 07/07/08 05:13 PMSalvation Army didn't want it because even though it was in the box with all pieces, the box wasn't in good enough condition for them I snorted when I read this. What kind of jumped-up, hoity-toity Salvation Army have you got there?!? And to think, I went to the Goodwill truck this weekend with three garage sacks full of all sort of stuff. They didn't refuse to take it because one of my sacks had a bit of tear in it! To say nothing of the stuff that was in it without being in a box! You either need to have a yard sale where all this stuff can go to a good home and put a little cash in your pocket, or if you don't want to organize and labor that much, just put it all out on the curb with a sign that says "free to a good home." What's left at the end of Saturday goes in the trash, no excuses or questions asked. If you have something that has no use of all to you and it just will not be given away, then it needs to go in the trash. Yes, giving it a good home is the environmentally responsible thing to do, but when even thrift stores turn down a perfectly good and useable microscope, you have to start to wonder if the thing's cursed or something. Evil microscope.  If you can't give it away off the curb, then it's time it exits your life by way of the trash. I saw one ad on Craigslist for a yard sale, appropriately named "Independence from Clutter Sale!" I thought that was a wonderful title for a yard sale ad! Sometimes, you just have to toss stuff. There comes a point when you have so much stuff that you can't even hope to sort through it. Throw it out on the lawn for someone to pick up for free or for the trash men to pick up on their regular run through. Or you can call someone like the Disabled Vets (sometimes Goodwill, especially if there is no DAV in your area) to send a truck out and you just put it all in the truck and let them sort it out at the store! Karen says disposing of things in volume this way releases huge amounts of stuck energy and can really make a sudden and major difference in your life. Also, offering up so much stuff for free or for charity is good karma. When you give stuff away with good cheer, you should find that you will soon be the recipient of things given to you with equal good cheer which you DO have a use for. So even putting stuff out at the curb for free is not a waste in the end; you will benefit from the fresh energy getting rid of it creates, and between having lots of free space and good karma, stuff you will love will come into your life. You can also join your local Freecycle group on Yahoo and advertise that you are having a give away in your yard this upcoming weekend, come and get it. If no one else comes by, people on the list will! All the fun of a yard sale, but free! Who doesn't like that? People will take stuff for free that they'd not pay a quarter for, lol. Marti, you may want to do like me and start outside your front door. Declutter, clean and decorate with feng shui elements before moving inside to the foyer and around through your house that way. Maybe something around your front door is what's causing you to get stuck in an endless loop, like I'm in. I'm already thinking of how I might decorate my deck now that I'm cleaning it up. Empty spaces will eventually attract something to fill them up. Our deck is wide and long and empty, save for the gas grill. I think that's why we've let the weeds, trees and trash take it over; it doesn't look like this vast stretch of empty wood if there's junk laying on it. But I would much rather have buckets of plants and some furniture on it (I've decided to look out for those metal mesh spring-rocking chairs; just the thing to tolerate living under our messy trees). Hey, if you end up giving a lot of stuff away, can you pass on your good ju-ju so I can find the chairs I want for cheap? LOL.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #234 - 07/07/08 05:43 PMKeri, our deck is about as clean as it's going to get with bird feeders on it. Other then the seed it's actually very tidy( well and the peeling paint but there isn't anything we can do about that right now), just the grill, a couple of planters and my make shift rain barrel( a one gallon pitcher in the corner where the water comes off the roof). As for just out side my front door, it's a hallway as I am in the third floor apartment. Though I don't see why I can't take my vacuum for a quick spin on the landing( the lady who cleans the common areas twice a year never got to it). The thing that stinks with being in an apartment is that sometimes the negative energy is something you can't do anything about. There are actually tobacco stains running down the wall in the stairwell because the someone else didn't care about where they lived. And yes managment knows, but they don't have the people free right now to fix it. We are due to get the hallways painted sometime in the fall. I can't wait. As for freecycle, I've been getting up the courage to post stuff. I have winter boots, brand new jeans( only worn a couple of times before I outgrew them and that 's a good thing), some books and other junk. I see everything in my outgoing tote as junk so that I am not tempted to dig it out and bring it back into the apartment. It's some of the better looking junk I've seen but I know how important my mindset is in getting rid of things so it's become junk. I did the garage sale last year with my MIL and while I made a nice chunk of change(200 after MIL and I split it), I'm not going to hold one again. Too many weird people for my tastes. And you know somethings up when someone is trying to convince you that something is worth nothing and yet wants to take it off your hands( leaded crystal candy dish). I have been keeping an eye on freecycle to see if I can match some of what I have to what people want but no one is asking for what I have in the junk box. I have no problems meeting people at the door downstairs but I am also very shy and hate to disappoint people which would be a given if more then one person wanted what I was offering. While I think that the mission would love the jeans and the boots, I don't think they would be too thrilled with the strobe light .
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:52:32 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #235 - 07/07/08 06:32 PMOkay, Marti, I've got some ideas for you. Can you put a nice potted plant outside your apartment door? I could have done that in my apartment in college, but I know that different places have different rules--although your place sounds more casually-run. If your door is where no natural sunlight can get to it, you can have a second potted plant inside your house or out on a balcony, if you have one, and rotate them every few weeks or so. Plants can usually last several weeks without sunlight, especially if you get one that likes shade anyways. Also, do you have a door mat? A pretty doormat can really liven up your entrance. Even one that's more functional than pretty can say, hey, this is my door. One problem (I think) with apartments is that you have door after door that's exactly the same. It's like these cookie-cutter houses they put up in subdivisions; they're not different enough to tell them apart. I wonder if people don't get confused as to which house is theirs some days when they come home! If you have just a little something sitting outside your door--a mat and/or plant, then your eye will instantly fall to your door when you go down the hall. You will know when you are standing outside it, this is my door. That's because your door no longer looks like anyone else's. And if someone comes to visit you a second time, they will not have to remember your apartment number because they will remember your mat and/or plant. Things like that are easier to remember than numbers. I used to live on the third floor too, and there were a few times I went down the second floor hallway. I always stopped when I saw the door (recessed where you couldn't see if from the stairs) because they had a mat and other things sitting out there and my door was plain! Apartments are actually a pretty good place to give things away because most apartments have dumpsters. Just take stuff out and put it next to the dumpster. If it's still there in the evening or next day, be tidy and toss it in the dumpster, but most of the time someone will come along to pick up whatever you leave out there! This is especially true if your dumpster is visible from the street as well. hate to disappoint people which would be a given if more then one person wanted what I was offering. I've offered stuff up on Freecycle before. Just replied to the first e-mail I got and made arrangements with that lady to pick it up, and posted to everyone on the list in general that it was taken. An organized Freecycle group has a policy about making a post that says "Taken: golf clubs" or something like that. In the post you can thank everyone that was interested, but say that someone has already claimed it. Pretty easy that way. No one takes offense; it's always a first-come, first-served sort of thing. Everyone plays by those rules and understands them. Vacuuming your common hallway area is actually not a bad idea. Not only does picking up little bits and pieces of trash make a big difference in the appearance of cleanliness, but sweeping and vacuuming both symbolically get rid of low-level or negative chi. Karen recommends it in rooms after people have argued, or if you are a therapist, between clients (gets rid of anything negative they've dropped and leaves the atmosphere clean for the next client). So I would think that vacuuming your common area would be a good way to clean up other people's chi and leave your hallway area clean. Have you thought about taking a wet sponge to the stains on the walls? If the paint is semi gloss or higher, it should wipe off. Some OxyClean probably wouldn't hurt either. Since they are planning on repainting the walls anyways, if you don't get rid of the stain (or make it worse), oh well. They're no worse off than they were before. If you remove it, everyone can enjoy not having to look at someone's spit anymore. Also, besides doing what you can on the outside to tidy, your foyer will be very important because that will be not only the entrance to your home, but really the
keriamonMessage #236 - 07/07/08 06:35 PMbut really the first thing that is yours. It's different than where I live, for instance, where the end of my driveway is one threshold into my world (entering my property versus the public world), the stairs up the deck is another (entering the living area, versus the yard), and the door is the actual entrance to our house. You have all of that concentrated in your foyer. If your door opens right into the living room or any other open room, that's fine. But if it opens into a narrow hallway, the way mine did, or if the door opens backwards (so that it swings into a room instead of against a wall)--if, in any event, the first thing you see when you open your door is a wall, put up a mirror so that you see yourself. Make sure to get one big enough and hang it so that when you OR your husband opens the door, you see at least your full head (if you see some other parts of your body, that's fine). Never visually cut your head off with a mirror--this can cause low self-esteem, depression, and even reoccurring headaches. This can happen a lot if one person in the house is significantly shorter than the other member. Mirrors are always arranged to the adult members of the house, except that children get mirrors arranged to them in their own rooms, and if they have their own bathroom. But, if one of you is taller than the other, get a long mirror and hang it vertically so you both will see all of your heads in it when you come in. Doing this allows the chi to bounce into the home better, which allows you to have more flowing in, and others have said that it's a friendly greeting to see someone when you come in, even if you are seeing yourself!
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #237 - 07/07/08 07:24 PMThat was interesting. I went and tried to see if the only plant I have fits in the hallway. Not even close. There is just enough room between the wall and the railing for the door. And since I am not allowed to put anything on the railing per our lease it looks like it's funky mat time. At my first apartment I kept the Halloween one I bought on clearance up year round because it was great at getting junk of shoes and everyone always wondered why I didn't change it out with the seasons. I paid fifty cents for it and I wanted to get my money's worth out of it. I left it there when I moved because it was stuck to the ground with dirt. But it was still there last time I drove by and the new tenets were wiping their feet on it! I did wash down the door( was surprised at how black the rag was when I was done, but it's now a bright green rather then a dull greeny brown) and wiped off the railing. Feel better just doing that. Tried to tackle the marks on the wall but with how our stairs are( go up five stairs, hit the landing then go up seven more) I'd need a ladder to get the worst ones. It looks like someone stood at the top of the stairs and spit at the opposite wall. I'd need a milder cleaning solution then the one I tried because I realized that the marks I could reach were coming off because I was taking some of the paint off. Oops. Good thing they only paint the walls white and you can't really tell too much what I did( other then the small streaks where the marks smudged rather then came off). The complex is laid back to a fault so I doubt anyone is going to care. But I am the only one on this side of the fire door up here so it limits the amount of suspects  . But it does look alot better up here now. The other tenets have put a nail in the wall next to their door and hang stuff up that way. I do have a nice frog welcome sign that would go nicely there. Next on my list of stuff to do( realized my biggest problem is just getting started) is clear off the dining room table.
abundanceandprosperityMessage #238 - 07/07/08 07:40 PMWell, I finally tackled the attic. It is 90% finished, just a little mopping to do. I've started packing up out of season clothes to help us get out the door once the job offers roll in and we move. I also purchased and had DH install the drawers I needed for my wardrobe and will finish organizing that this week. In the kitchen, entry, hall I reorganized things for better work/getting things out of sight. I bought the frames for my childwall/project now I need to select photos and have them printed. I also bought organizers for my food cupboard and am much happier with how the kitchen/mudroom functions/looks. Hope all this translates into good change.
Debt SlayerMessage #239 - 07/07/08 08:01 PMI started in on Karen's chapter on feng shui cures in the back of her book on space clearing and the first place she starts is the outside of your house at the entrance. She says if it's a jungle out there, if you have to fight your way to the front door, then you will constantly be struggling to achieve anything. Everything in life will be difficult. What do you do when the junk outside is your neighbors? My husband, son and I live in an in-law apartment. We share an entrance with our upstairs neighbors who are very nice, but the guy is a major hoarder. They know they have to do something with it, it's just taking a loooooong time (2 years!). Part of the problem is some of the stuff belongs to other people. But good lord, I feel suffocated just thinking about it, and I'm at work. I started a wish box in my living room in the helpful friends corner about the junk. And I removed a garbage can from our bedroom that was in the same corner and behind the door. I'm hoping this will help. Is there anything else I can try?
MrsGordsMessage #240 - 07/07/08 09:14 PMif you don't want to organize and labor that much, just put it all out on the curb with a sign that says "free to a good home." You might also try a great website called freecycle.org. It's free to join and free to post the items you want to give away. One day we will run out of landfill space--probably sooner than later. Please try to keep useable items out of the landfill!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:53:32 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #241 - 07/07/08 09:19 PMDebt Slayer, here are my ideas. 1. Everything in our lives is interconnected. I saw something a physicist wrote about feng shui and he likened it to physics on the quantum level. If everything in the universe is connected on a subatomic level, then why wouldn't everything in your life likewise be connected? Here's the full quote if you can get your mind around it: "If we accept the message of both quantum mechanics and the great spiritual teachers, then every smidgen of our universe effects every other. From this viewpoint there is no inside or outside. Everything is contained in consciousness which has no boundaries. So the placement of your bed has meaning in relation to the rest of your experience. The bed is a representation of your beliefs and emotions on the physical dimension, which manifest differently and seemingly disconnected by you, on other dimensions. When your bed is moved with intention, the belief and emotion dimensions also move. The great Eighteenth century scientist and mathematician Leibnitz discovered that photons, the basic particles of light, exhibit intention and purpose. If we take light to be the whole spectrum of vibration, not only visible light, then everything is composed of photons. That means the universe is intentional. And since we have been given the ability to intend, we are co-creators of the universe that we individually experience. Every thing, even the sticky front door that doesn't open all the way has meaning. Every thing, every action is intentional, sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious. Feng shui brings the unconscious in our environment back into consciousness. That brings the beliefs and feelings back into consciousness. Then we have choice and can create our universe consciously." So, you can look at the problem with your neighbor's mess as a problem reflected somewhere in your own life. And I don't mean in your common yard. Make sure your own house is tidy and in order. Clutter clearing is contagious, and you don't even have to be in direct physical contact to transmit it! So if you clean out your own stuff, the neighbors may catch it. Be careful in thinking you don't need to declutter. I thought that too, and several hours later I had thrown away a lot of junk from under my sink and filled up a trash bag and a bit in clothes that no longer fit. Honestly, I have no idea where that stuff came from! Because I had everything put away tidy, it never occurred to me I had clutter. But when I got conscious about it and went through stuff that I did not use, I had this big pile of stuff! So it can sneak up on you! Also, I have seen people link mental clutter and physical clutter. One woman said she was aggravated that her husband would not clean off his desk. But one day it struck her that he was a very organized person, despite the one mess on his desk. She, on the other hand, was all over the place, even though she kept the house tidy. So she worked on some personal organization, did some spiritual work, and he spontaneously cleaned off his desk. So besides looking for clothes in your closet you never wear, or too many bottles of stuff under the sink, make sure your finances are in order and you don't feel a spiritual emptiness. Work on those if you need to. 2. Is it possible for you to do any sort of work outside around this junk? If you start tidying up outside around it, they may feel guilty about it being in your way and at least move it. You know, you start weeding the flowerbed, and they remark on it and you say you just felt like being outside and thought they'd not mind a little garden labor. No accusations about guilt, no mention that their junk is dragging you down. Keep it light and friendly-like and they may guilt themselves into helping. Or you may make things look so nice that they can't stand to look at the junk anymore either. 3. Depending on if you talk with these people much, you may drop a line about you are doing feng shui to your house. If they seem interested, pass them materials on it with all hast
keriamonMessage #242 - 07/07/08 09:26 PMIf they seem interested, pass them materials on it with all haste. Maybe they will get into it themselves. 4. As I told Marti, make the entrance to your own space--whatever door that may be yours alone--as welcoming and beautiful as possible. We can't control the world outside our homes but we can very definitely say this area here is my home and that area outside is not my home, it is someone else's home. Mental delineation between your world and someone else's world can help. After all, you can't feng shui the world! The place that you perceive as yours alone is where you need the very most effort because it has the very most impact on your life. And think pleasant thoughts about the neighbor. Hope that he gets over his hoarding disease, the same as you would hope he recovers from a diagnosis of cancer. Pity that he has this problem as opposed to being angry at him for messing up your area (not saying that you do this, but just in case--it can help him recover if you hope for him instead of grumble against him). Make sure your wish box says something positive like, Thank you, Mr. Roper, for tidying up the yard! You know, as opposed to, I wish Mr. Roper would get off his butt and clean up the yard! LOL And if he and/or his wife start to tidy up, don't be afraid to give them a hand (again, your enthusiasm for decluttering is contagious!), and praise them to the high heavens for it. Tell them how nice the place looks. Give them a plant or something nice for outside as a gift afterwards. Maybe they will clean out the inside of their house too and make a better life for themselves too. And I removed a garbage can from our bedroom that was in the same corner and behind the door. That sounds like an excellent catch! You don't want anything in your helpful friends corner that is junky, trashy or cluttered, or it might reflect on the neighbor! Don't forget to check all of your rooms separately for anything that reminds you of his junk in the least.
keriamonMessage #243 - 07/07/08 10:16 PMwww.tomorrowskey.com/web-content/WingWang.html Check out this exterior home renovation someone did in line with feng shui principals. I had to double check that the second, pieced-together picture is indeed the front side of the same house! It looks totally different!
keriamonMessage #244 - 07/07/08 10:42 PMAHHHHHHH!!!!! So here's a new thing I've found. How your street address affects your home's personal energy. Take the numbers of your street address and add them up individually. So if you live at 265 Oak Street, add 2+6+5 = 13. Now add the 1+3 = 4. Do this until you get a single number, unless your number winds up an 11, 22 or 33, which are like sacred numbers. In this example, 4 is your house's personality number. www.tomorrowskey.com/web-content/NumberEnergies.html So I added up the numbers of our house and got 1.
Spirit of One: independence, new beginnings, oneness with life, self-development, individuality, progress, creativity
One Influence: excellent for a person who wants to embark on an individual creative venture. Those under a the influence of One will learn from experience rather than instruction and advice from others. One is conducive to someone who wants to follow their own instincts and express individuality with creativity and originality. Strong emotions can sometimes be felt under One, especially if there are several strong individuals sharing the home. But the emotions are healing and can even spur inspirational creativity. One is not a place that will always be neat, as sometimes minor details are secondary to the creative process. If you have been a caretaker for others and have come to a place where you need to be number one in your own life, then a One is just what you need. You will feel more assertive, independent and willing to take risks here.
Challenges of a One: Sometimes you may feel isolated and alone, even if there are others around you. Others may view you as selfish, buy you are only isolating yourself so that you can make the decisions that you know are right for you. Guess what I am wanting to do this year? Go into business for myself making wedding stuff and jewelry! I am about to die for lack of creativeness in my life, even though I have a very creative hobby. I just need more. And here's the freaky thing. The house I grew up in--a 1. The house we moved into when I was a senior in high school--a 1 (it was a new house and the city actually let my mother pick out our house number within a range). My grandmother's house where I lived at various times and where I learned to do creative things and where I was at my absolute most creative--a 1. My apartment in college--a 1. Is that freaky, or what?!?!?!?!? Think it's a cosmic message? None of these houses were houses I ever picked out for myself (even the apartment was assigned to me based on availability, and not all of their units were on the same street). Even my current house was my husband's before it was mine. And I was just at a friend's house this weekend. She is a fellow reenactor and she sews and embroiders as much as I do. Her address? 703 (7+3=10 1+0=1). But this is not some sad card trick where everyone's address winds up a 1. Our neighbor across the street when I was growing up was 1609, which adds up to a 7. This is still weird. I can't believe every house/apartment I've lived in since I was 6 works out to a 1. It's like the message for my life was staring me right in the face the entire time. I can't believe now that I let my family tell me that art was a terrible profession, not a real job, etc. College is wasted on the young; if I had it to do over again, I'd be trucking it to The Savannah College of Art and Design where I'd have to flip a coin over jewelry or clothing design (or just double major for the heck of it).
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #245 - 07/07/08 11:10 PMWith the address thing I ended up with a 22. Which seems to be unlimited mastery in any area. My last address was a 22 too. As of yet I haven't seen mastery of any kind. Unless you can the ability to injure yourself in any situation. I've got that down to an art. But I have seen it in DH. He is very athletic( doesn't really look it but looks are deceiving), a computer genius and there isn't nothing he hasn't tried that he isn't good at. He just needed to find a direction to focus on. I need a new focus because I'm tired of being looked at like a human cartoon character. Complete with leaving imprint after falling out of a tree and landing face first on the ground. I'm just glad that I've never had the problem of not being able to laugh at myself once it's over. Even the times with blood being shed, it's still funny once the bleeding stops.
keriamonMessage #246 - 07/08/08 03:18 PMEver considered being a slapstick comic? You mentioned you were shy. My dad was supposedly very shy as a child. He is also one of those people with a perfect gift of comedy. Can tell funny stories, can even draw funny things from time to time. When he was in his late 30's, he started going to open mike night at a comedy club and now he's headlining in smaller clubs all over the place. He even did a taped comedy show that Sony backed and is trying to get a network to pick up. Everyone figures he's a minute away from a big break. He makes enough at comedy now that it supports him most of the time. He only does odd jobs here and there when the season is slow (oddly enough, in the summertime). So, you never know what kind of talent you might have that you just haven't developed yet!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:53:45 GMT -5
PauletteGMessage #247 - 07/08/08 05:06 PMSpirit of Eight: Infinity; material prosperity; self-power; abundance; cosmic consciousness; reward, authority; leadership.
Influence of Eight: Abundance in all areas of life: friends, family and material possessions. Eight will help get the material side of life in order. Eight contributes to organizational and managerial skills which contribute to growing material success. Through discipline and hard work, an Eight will assist achieving a position of power and financial abundance. Awards, honors and public recognition come easily in an Eight, the vibration of wholeness. Relationships can develop more than just one aspect — they can embody physical, spiritual and mental characteristics. Eight allows command of respect and equality.
Challenges of an Eight: Eight can sometimes bring in too much of good things. Be careful to consider the welfare of others and be wise with your finances.
Yeah right, one look inside my #8 house does not reveal organizational and managerial skills.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #248 - 07/08/08 05:14 PMWhen I try to be funny it doesn't work. Don't know why. The one talent that I am focusing on for now is my writing. Once DH is making enough that we don't need my income( little as it is) then I am going to try to start selling my stuff. I've already found a place where I can self publish and they only charge you if you buy physical copies for your self. If someone buys a copy through them( either physical or in e-book form) you get a couple bucks a copy. Once I can prove that I've published and people read my stuff I'll have better luck trying to sell it to a more mainstream publisher. Your dad has guts being a stand up comic. I'm actually not too bad one on one with people but once I get into a crowd it's panic attack time! I passed out in 8th grade after being made to stand in front of the class for a book report. I am better but only when in front of groups of people I know. When DH came home last night from work he noticed that I had cleaned up the hallway in front of our door. He had thought that the normal color of our door was puke green. I'm going to have to just sweep the carpet in the hallway. I'm thinking that instead not getting to it when they were spring cleaning, she didn't have a long enough extension cord. We have no outlets on our floor in the hallways. The only one is on the first floor and I found out that on our side it doesn't work. And we don't have one so that I can use an outlet in here. Good thing the hallway is industrial carpeting and not something with more pile to it. DH is also going out and buying Astro-turf for our balcony. I'm sick of the peeling paint.
cat 21Message #249 - 07/08/08 05:49 PMI snorted when I read this. What kind of jumped-up, hoity-toity Salvation Army have you got there?!? This happened in our area - a friend was trying to get rid of a couch and the S.A wouldn't take it because there was a small tear on the back of it. Um...don't you usually place the sofa against the wall anyway? Or what about college kids who are just going to spill beer on it and don't really care about a snag? But what I don't understand is why they wouldn't take her sofa, but walk into the store and there is so many horrible things!
keriamonMessage #250 - 07/08/08 06:00 PMYeah right, one look inside my #8 house does not reveal organizational and managerial skills. Ah, but it says those things contribute to growing material success. If you have material success, then you must be organized... even if you are the only person that understands you filing system, LOL. So, do you have a lot of material possessions in your house? Note that sometimes it can be too much of a good thing, having too many possessions. If you have too much stuff, then you cannot get it tidy. Everything needs a home--a place where it permanently lives. Too much stuff and much of it will not have a home. That's when you know when enough is actually too much. Your dad has guts being a stand up comic. I'm actually not too bad one on one with people but once I get into a crowd it's panic attack time! Actually, he used to be very nervous before shows. He's done it so much now that he's not worried. It helps too that he now has a repertoire of jokes that he knows will get laughs. Guaranteed material. He can throw in new jokes here and there and see how they go, but he's always got his core stuff to fall back on. The last time my husband and I went to see him (last year) he boasted after he came off the stage that was the first time he'd done a show without having a few beers first. He was using them to get himself a bit relaxed first, you see. Now he never drinks before a show because he doesn't need it and because it ultimately makes him a better performer. Per my college English professors (my college produces a lot of writers), the best way to get your foot in the door is to publish an article or poem or short story in some sort of magazine or literary journal. Because anyone can self-publish, traditional publishers will not treat you any different than someone who has not been published, unless you can show them you had some wonderful sales of your book. But if you can say you had an article on dog grooming published in a national dog magazine, you will get taken a bit more seriously, even if you are writing a book on Chinese cooking! Note the "national" part of that equation. Big-time publishers pooh-pooh most small-time local or regional papers and magazines. One of my English teachers--who herself had a few books published--said to get an agent. That's what everyone says. Publishers use agents to weed stuff out for them. If an agent sends a book, then the publisher short-lists it for review. When it comes in straight off the street, it gets thrown in the jumbo pile of stuff to review. If an agent will accept your work, it's more likely to get published, and published faster. In either case, though, be prepared for a wait. Agents can take a year or three wait down to a few months to a year, depending on their own reputation. If an agent has picked winners for a publisher before, and this agent backs your book, your book will be on the very short list to review. If they don't know your agent from Adam, it gets put on the pile only slightly less large than the no-agent pile. Make sure you boost your fame and creativity (child) sections before you send anything out. And, if your husband hasn't bought the astro turf yet, go yourself to look for outdoor rugs. That would be so much nicer than astro turf. They're quite popular now. Often made of jute or hemp, just like a woven doormat, but larger. If you knit, I can even give you a link to a pattern for knitting your own doormat! (Make multiple ones and sew them together for an outdoor area rug). The other thing I saw while looking up stuff the other day was floor cloths. These are just pieces of canvas that can be painted decoratively and laid out like any other sort of rug. They're very durable outside and I can attest that you can wash them in a machine (although if they're very large, you may need to go to a laundromat and use a big washer). You may need to refresh the paint after the wash, but maybe not. I'd figure on washing it once a year (twice if you leave it out all winter) and probably refresh the p
keriamonMessage #251 - 07/08/08 06:03 PMpaint once a year--the summer sun will fade it, if the wash doesn't. Canvas painter's drop cloths are the cheapest canvas you can buy--yes, even cheaper than the stuff on a bolt at a fabric store (trust me, I just priced a bunch of it in February!). And it paints with regular old acrylic paint that you can get in any craft store. Here are two tricks I have learned: one, put a bit of water in your paint. Full-strength paint is a bear to put on canvas, but if you water it down a bit you get all the color and a smooth glide. If it drips off your brush, you have too much water. If it's hard to apply, not enough. Secondly, get a black paint pen to outline whatever it is you paint. This really pops the details up, hides small imperfections, like if you painted a bit outside the line, and a pen is a LOT easier to use than a paintbrush when doing fine lines. If you are painting something on a large scale, a regular paint pen will do. If you are painting small details, you can get super fine tipped Sharpies from a hobby or office supply store. A felt-tipped regular pen can also work. What to paint? If you are not going to set anything directly on top of one section, you can paint in a checkerboard! Otherwise, look through the stencils and see what you like. If you have a theme going outdoors or in the room directly across from it, then apply the theme to it. Let's say your theme is grapes. Paint vines and grapes all around the edge of the cloth. If it's very large, you might paint it into four large tiles, like any tiled floor, and paint the grapes again in the center in a geometric placement pattern. If either of you is good at freehand, you might get a picture off the internet and enlarge it and make it the center of your cloth. Lol, if your balcony was in your prosperity corner, you could paint a giant gold fish on it! If you end up painting a large cloth, you may want to go ahead and get quart-sized cans of paint from a home improvement store than use a million and one small bottles of acrylic paint. It would be cheaper that way too. Just make sure you get acrylic paint because I have no idea how oil paint works on canvas like this. Oh, I know you can paint it on canvas--after all, that's what paintings are painted on--but they're also painted on PRIMED canvas. I know you can paint acrylics on raw canvas because I've been there, done that (and if you don't paint with a really heavy hand, they won't bleed through--but use caution then you paint, just in case). If oil paint is likewise hard to paint at full-strength, then you will need to find something to thin it out with other than water--namely the appropriate kind of oil. Water for acrylic paint is always easy to find. But if you want to buy something, you should be able to find an outdoor rug at Lowe's or Home Depot or if you're lucky and have an Old Time Pottery, that would be the cheapest place to pick on up. Anyplace that sells outdoor furniture generally has them now.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #252 - 07/08/08 06:34 PMPainting? Are you trying to give my cartoon side ammo? But actually the canvas is not a bad idea. I was just thinking the green outdoor carpeting because that's what I saw on sale this week at Mr. Seconds. I just need something to keep the birdseed off my downstairs neighbor's grill( oops) and keep me from tracking peeling paint in the house. I'm currently looking for a fun mat for the front door and one for the sliding door. We have a towel there to wipe our feet for now but that really isn't a permanent solution. I've noticed that when ever I make a change, big or little, DH and I get into a fight at first then things get better. I wonder if the negative energy is mad at the attempt by me to kick it out and it tries to find a way to stick around? After dinner last night DH and I got into a massive fight( the more dirt and clutter gone the bigger the fight) but after things settled down we actually got something accomplished. So far most of the clutter gone has been stuff that is solely mine or stuff that was joint that DH agreed to. Only a very few things have been DH's alone. We did clean out his closet back at the old house but nothing really left. It just got tossed into totes and stuffed in a corner. I know that DH would feel very guilty about getting rid of most of it and if his mom ever found out I know I'd be back to the mean evil woman that thwarted her attempts at keeping him a mommy's boy. And I'm not mean enough to attempt to sneak it out of the house. But going through this stuff would give us so much more room and give DH a reason to get back on track with his new eating habits( he said that if he gained weight again he'd just get out the bigger pants, must not smack hubby upside the head). I realized that I have done as much as I can by myself. DH does help with the cleaning and such but not with the decluttering( it just goes from one spot to another) or the organizing. And what I do organize he never puts back in the right spot. And once I rearrange things so that the stuff he uses new home is where he was putting it, he starts putting it somewhere else . I'm not going to say I can't win because it's not about me winning. It's about finding the best home for what we have. If it was about me winning I hide the stuff on him and make him ask me for it when he wanted to use it.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:54:17 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #253 - 07/08/08 08:05 PMDH and I get into a fight at first then things get better. I wonder if the negative energy is mad at the attempt by me to kick it out and it tries to find a way to stick around? Doubtful, unless you have some sort of negative spirit living in your house. Some people don't respond well to change. You know, like there are cats if you move their litter box, they will poop on your bed; if you change their brand of cat food they will go on a hunger strike. Then there's our beast. He's so not particular about how clean his litter is. And he likes any can cat food with gravy (although he doesn't care for generic as well as name brand). Turkey, salmon, chicken, beef--it's all good if it's got gravy. Some people are like that. Can't take change. While others are just ho-hum about it. I suspect that maybe your husband has an aversion to change. While he clearly gets over the worst of it after an argument over something unrelated, the moving stuff that just moved says maybe he's got something unconscious going against your moving stuff, lol. My husband is like that a bit, I think. He has an odd interest in household matters, like decorating, for a man. I'm not used to a man having an opinion on what painting I want to hang up. My stepfather thought anything my mother did was just peachy. Of course, the man used to wear a pink shirt with light blue pants and peach socks. No color sense at all. My husband is much more fashion conscious and color-coordinated. So maybe that's why he thinks he should have a say in decorating the house? I don't know. But for all his opinions about decorating, he can't clean anything up! He fusses when I pick up that he can't find anything. I told him that he couldn't find anything before either, but at least if I've touched it, I can find it for him. I think I'm just moving towards doing things on my own regardless. There may be some underlying tension here because I moved into his house. He may feel like he should continue to have sole control over it while I feel like I HAVE to make my imprint on it or I will always feel like I am a renter living in his house--that it will never be my house too. Have you and your husband got that dynamic going on? Did he move into your space or visa versa? One idea I have come up with is that when I build out my workshop, that's going to be my room with all my personal stuff in it, and that will leave him room in our spare bedroom to have "man land." I am so tired of trying to keep that room picked up because almost everything in it is his and he won't keep his stuff picked up and I can't declutter for him (you are right that you should not get rid of your DH's stuff without his permission). So when I can get my computer and our medieval clothes out of there, I will have no further need for that room and I when he leaves stuff all over the house, I can just toss it in there and shut the door. I will treat it like a room that's being rented out to someone else and not part of the rest of the house's feng shui (although it will be part of his personal feng shui!). BTW, when I said something about designating that man land, he lit up. Anne Barone has a chapter in one of her books on boudoirs and how it's important for a woman to have her own personal space, even if it's just a corner carved out of a room that's a bit private. And, she added, it's good for men to have their own version of the boudoir as well. So, if you can afford to give up a corner, much less a room, you might consider giving your husband a man land. Make that his space, privatize it as much as possible (like with a folding screen to separate it from the rest of the room or apartment) and stay out. Let him put stuff where he wants. Give him quiet alone time when he retreats there. That may make him mellow out when you start redoing other parts of the house. He has his anchor, his man land that never changes unless he changes it. His private world where you don't go. If you give him a corner instead of a room, then treat that corner like it's
keriamonMessage #254 - 07/08/08 08:08 PMIf you give him a corner instead of a room, then treat that corner like it's a missing corner in feng shui. Visually wall it off and then hang a crystal or mirror, if you can, to bounce the room's chi around this new odd L-shaped room. This should correct any problems he might create if he messes it up in there or hoards stuff, and it will also make that corner feel even more separate and private when he's in there (which is what you want).
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #255 - 07/08/08 09:05 PMYeah he's not too fond of change( neither is his mother for that matter). He does have his "space" in that he has a chunk of the living room. He has his desk which takes up the entire wall with his computer stuff on it along with piles and piles of papers. I don't touch it unless he's got dirty dishes there and I'm about to run the dishwasher. He has that corner too along with the wall between his desk and the sliding glass door. That's where all of his video games, TV and strategy guides are. I have yet to get a spot of my own. The closest I have is a single 3 shelf bookcase but he's taking that over too with computer stuff. I had a nice picture from our wedding on top and I was content with that. Now the printer is there because he "couldn't find any place else for it." He's also started putting more of his books there because the two massive bookcases in the dining room are not enough for his textbooks, old magazines, loads upon loads of Star Wars books and every single blasted folder and notebook from his six years of college. But I wouldn't rule out a negative spirit either. But I'd have to say that it's more likely a negative attitude rather then spirit. Before we moved here we lived with the in laws. I went crazy there because you could actually physically feel the negative energy in that house. FIL and MIL fought all the time. Heck DH and I fought all the time as well. MIL wasn't too happy with me when I asked if I could burn some sage in the living room to "clear the air". I've done that before and it's helps with the negative energy. This is our first place that is ours. I lived with the ex for a few years and then when that ended I lived with my parents. Then I moved into the in laws. I've never had a place before that I could call my own. I feel like I can't call this place my own either because almost all of the stuff is DH's and he's not really helping it become ours. I will say that right now I am seeing us start to become his parents because of this( FIL says that since he pays for everything he owns everything, while MIL goes nuts buying more stuff so that she can feel that she owns something). He has other hangups learned from his parents too but that's the thing affecting this. I am not used to it because my parents share EVERYTHING. Mom has her spot( a craft room) Dad has his ( not sure where yet but he says he has one) and everything else in between is both of theirs. Nothing is done without the other's input and everything just flows. They are both willing to give things up in the name of de-cluttering and encourage the other by willing giving up stuff that is getting in the way but they would love to keep so that the other person doesn't feel like it's all one sided. I will say though that their timeline for getting this done is different. When ever I ask DH for help he will break out the vacuum or go do laundry. Greatly appreciated by I asked if he would go through the closet with me or pare down some of the textbooks. I still have stuff over at my parents that I would love to bring here but with all his stuff we don't have the room. And my MIL keeps bringing more stuff over for him!! Right now I feel like I am being crowded out of my own apartment. I have no place I can go to relax( he even took over my reading chair because it's got the perfect view of the TV for his video games), I've pared down as much of my own stuff as I could and I am still willing to part with more, and frankly I'm tired. Right now all my ideas for his stuff are mean and wrong( put it all on the dining room table with the Junk Tote next to it and not feed him till he goes through it and gets rid of at least half). I feel like all the work I've done so far is for nothing if I can't get him to help. And I can't toss it in his Man Spot because I'd like to use the living room. I wonder if your forehead can actually go flat if you bang it against the wall enough?
keriamonMessage #256 - 07/08/08 09:51 PMHmm, okay, I'm getting a better picture of this now. I really don't think you have a negative spirit in your house, because you describe your in-laws and then you describe your husband and it seems obvious that the apple has not fallen far from the tree. Do you have a copy of "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui"? Karen talks specifically about learning our hoarding from our parents. And of course, any counselor will tell you that we also learn to deal with other people from our parents. So what has he learned? He's the man, everything and all space is his. Arguing about things is the way to communicate. Stuff is important to have. If you can't get him to read the clutter book and get an epiphany that he's becoming his parents (and if he doesn't see anything wrong with them, he won't get this epiphany), then you guys really need to go to a marriage counselor. That he comes from an argumentative household and you guys still argue fairly frequently says to me that you will not be able to say to him "I feel like you are crowding me out with your stuff. Please, let's balance what you have with what I have so we can feel like we both live here." I think an argument will ensue and then nothing will come of it. This is where a professional counselor comes it. Tell him or her what you just told me. That his parents hoard and argue and seem to be in a not-too-silent battle of wills over control of the living space and that you feel that you and your husband are headed the same way. Tell him in counseling that you feel like he is crowding you out with all of his stuff, that you want to have more stuff that's "ours" and only a small amount that's his-and-hers. And that you want to pare down not because you are trying to control him (which is probably why he doesn't like change; sees it as a threat to his control), but because you want a wonderful, peaceful space to live in, and that can't happen if either of you has too much stuff. You have already made the prophecy: I am seeing us start to become his parents because of this. I can promise you right here and now, it will be easier to get counseling now, while this problem is not too major and you all are not too set in your ways. Get counseling while there's still love there. If you wait until you're thinking about separating--and you will head there at this rate because you refuse to become his mother--it will be a whole lot harder to recover the marriage. There's a marriage counselor here on MSN that documents some of her cases. I don't know if she never documents the ones that don't make it, but she's pulled some people through stuff that's really surprising. You know, like infidelity and addictions. But over and over again people talk about having never noticed how 1) their parents screwed them up and 2) they were becoming their parents. Or, even if they recognized that their parents were toxic, it floored them to have someone point out they were doing the exact same thing. A lot of times, it's not in the exact same manner, so that's how they hide it from themselves. Like one guy's dad was always absent, always secretitive with money. This guy went on to get addicted to gambling, but he didn't realize that gambling was keeping him away from home, the way his dad had done, and that he was being just as secretive with money because he was hiding his gambling from his wife. That's because his dad was an alcoholic, not a gambler, so that's all he saw. I'm not an alcoholic like my dad. Well, yeah, he was his dad made over, only with gambling as the addiction. Totally obvious to everyone else, but not to him, until the counselor pointed it out. Then he was so upset because he never wanted to do to his family what his dad had done to him. Anyways, counseling. This is a problem that's more than feng shui. You get the communication problem taken care of (and that's what's at the root of all of the problems, including the hoarding) and the house will take care of itself.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #257 - 07/08/08 10:09 PMIs it bad that I've already asked about counseling and he said no? I'll hit up some "self help" websites( though heavens only knows how cheesy some of them are) and see if I can find something that can help us. At least I have a heads up in the he KNOWS he is acting like his father at times. And we have the benefit of that he wants to work on not acting like his dad. But his parents did the counseling thing and it made things worse for them. So DH is scared that's going to be us. If I tell him he's acting like his dad he does get better. I haven't really told him that he's acting like his dad in this yet. He doesn't like his father much and I don't want to keep saying "Dear your acting like your father again." Guess it's just one step at a time.
keriamonMessage #258 - 07/08/08 10:30 PMOkay, number one, they're still married, so counseling couldn't have made things worse, or they would be divorced. Wouldn't you agree that divorce is the result of failed counseling? (Although, we'll be honest that not every marriage can or should be salvaged.) Two, these are really sounding like people that thrive on arguing and fighting with one another. There are odd people like that in the world. My own grandparents are like this, although they keep things mild; they don't get angry with one another. But they just like to argue when they talk about stuff. And they don't seem to argue much with other people (at least I don't feel like they argue with me when we talk). But your in-laws do not sound mild. That you got such a negative vibe off them says they're in it for blood. That they are still married says they like it that way. I guess it's the verbal equivalent of being into S&M.  Tell your husband that one day and see what he says about it, LOL. That your husband does not want to be his dad is good. But he will not manage that without some outside help. As you point out, you can't tell him to quit being his dad or you will come off as attacking him all the time. He needs that neutral third party to tell him that. Unless you can cite gross incompetence from the in-laws' counselor, I guarantee it didn't make them worse, it just opened up avenues of things to argue about they didn't even know existed before. Counselor: Barbara, why don't you say something you don't like about Bob. Barbara: He never ever washes a singe dish. Bob: I shouldn't have to do them because I mow the yard. Barbara: But you like mowing the yard. Doing the dishes is a chore. Bob: Who said I like to mow the yard? Barbara: You mow it more than is necessary, so I assumed you liked doing it. Bob: That's always like you to assume things. I mow to get out of the house and away from you. Barbara: Since when do you not like to be around me? You're the one that nags. I should be trying to get away from you. And so on. Totally new things to argue about because they didn't even know they were there to argue about. Like someone finding a new kind of whip and wanting to try it out. If they wanted to stop arguing, they could have worked on that, but if that's what lights their fire, then why should they stop? Your husband, on the other hand, does not want to be like that. He, unlike they, wants to change. Counseling is about changing. If you go to counseling and don't want to bend or change at all, then there's nothing anyone can do to help you. My husband and his ex had this problem. She wanted a divorce, he wanted counseling. They went to counseling, she refused to do anything the counselor said, he ended up giving her a divorce when the counselor washed her hands of it and wouldn't see them anymore. The counselor didn't fail, the counseling didn't make things worse. It just made my husband realize his ex didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. She'd made up her mind to leave and that was that. Of course, now he can't really complain. I'm a definite upgrade. ROFL
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:54:30 GMT -5
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #259 - 07/08/08 11:59 PMYes the inlaws are out for blood and I know for a fact that MIL stays married to FIL simply because at this point she believes that she deserves his money when he dies. She's flat out told me that. And he just goes off and does his thing. Goes golfing in the weekends and travels for work during the week. I've even heard him tell his cousin that "it's cheaper to keep her" regarding MIL. When DH came home today I let him settle in, stuffed him full of food and when he was relaxed I asked if we could go through some of the totes in the closet. He asked why and I said that they have been shuffled from place to place( closet to attic to new place to closet again) over the past year and we don't use anything that's in there. Then he asked me what was in them! They are his clothes and he had forgotten all about them! As for the sprawl of his stuff I found out he's just clueless. He never realized he was doing it. Then he looked at me and then at all his stuff and said" I'm acting like my dad again aren't I?" We have a date Saturday with a to-do list the length of my arm. If we get two things done off the list I'll claim major progress. He's also given me permission to go through any and all totes and just put what I think needs to go in a pile and he'll go through it himself. In this case he's acting like his dad in that FIL waits for MIL to start things. Difference is that once I start something DH will join in and make it go faster, FIL will just complain that MIL is throwing out his favorite shirt. I'm going to leave the computer parts boxes alone for now. Sure they are taking up tons of space but I got him to agree to go through the totes.
keriamonMessage #260 - 07/09/08 03:39 PMI'm so glad you got DH to make some progress! As with training any animal, be sure to give him lots of positive reinforcement, LOL. If you all do work on Saturday, and you can find the money for it, when it comes dinner time, announce that you want to go out to eat and where would he like to go? If you don't eat out often, this will be the reward for a day's long, hard work. Don't forget to take stuff to the thrift store to donate. Get it out of the house as quickly as possible, while you've got some forward momentum going with him. Praise the house, about how much better it looks. Thank him really well (like a massage!) for helping get this stuff conquered. You may even throw in a comment about how good it makes you feel to give this stuff away to the less fortunate. After all, charitable donations go down when the economy goes down. Places are needing more donations right now. I was reading a totally unrelated book this morning--by Sophia Loren--and something she said instantly made me think of you. She said that when she was filming El Cid, they got down to the final shooting and they were under a big deadline and they were all working very long hours and she was unable to go for her daily walk to get rid of all this extra tension. I knew immediately what she was talking about; I have been using walking to relieve tension and to give me time to get my thoughts straight since I was in college. It's personal alone time for me. I just let my mind wander wherever it wants to go and this allows me to think things completely through that I might otherwise stew on here and there for weeks. Anyways, Sophia fell down a flight of stairs on the last day of filming. Then she made the comment that made me think of you: anyone who is tense will be clumsy, and I certainly paid for not getting my daily exercise and getting that tension out. So arguments with your husband, the feeling of tension in the house over stuff, may very well be why you are prone to reenact the best of Wile E. Coyote. So, I'd recommend a course of walking outdoors for you, even if you have to drive someplace to do it. Even if you don't feel like you have space in the house, you will at least have all the personal space you want outside. And hopefully you will be inspired to make yourself a boudoir corner and firmly keep your husband out of it, so you can also have a place indoor to relax. Boudoir, by the way, comes from the word "to pout." It's where you are supposed to go after an argument to sulk until you get calmed down and get over it!
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #261 - 07/09/08 04:44 PMMy way of relieving the daily tension is the birds. I live across from a wooded area and sit on my balcony with my binoculars( which I was going to buy but I just happened to find a pair in my car trunk  ) and watch the birds. We get finches, all sorts of blackbirds, cardinals, blue jays and if I'm really lucky I'll see a bald eagle( we have a nesting pair not to far from here). But mostly robins, sparrows and red tailed hawks. I'm not a big exercise person but I do walk the stairs inside. I walk down the stairs in the front in the building( get to start at the top) and then down through the basement and then back up again. It's not much but after being a bed slug( DH's term since we didn't have a couch for me to become a potato on) for almost two years it's a work out. And yes I have noticed a distinct decrease in accidents since I have started doing that. I don't think I will ever completely get rid of my accident prone ways because it's been part of me since I was a baby but anything that lessens them is a good thing. I noticed last night that we have one empty corner in the dining room. I'm going to try and carve that spot out as mine. Get a small table to put my sewing machine up and maybe a small set of shelves for my other craft stuff. I don't sew very well but then again I've never had a spot where I could leave a machine up all the time before either. When I lived with my parents and had free reign of my mom's paradise( the craft room) I went on a crafting spree. Jewelery, fleece blankets, purses, greeting cards, Christmas decorations, anything that I could get my paws on. Not very good at any of them but just making them made me happy. The plan for Saturday is this. I'm going to tidy the house before the weekend so that all we have to do is dust and vacuum. Once we get that done then we are supposed to go over to my parents to harass the felines.. I mean take care of them.. while the parental units are out of town. Going to come home and go through the totes in the closet( there is only three of them) and once that's done I'm going to make his favorite dinner. Homemade mac and cheese. The big reason it's special is because it's supposed to be wicked hot here and I'm going to using both the stove and the oven. While this is going on I'm sending DH to the video store to pick out a game so that he doesn't have to deal with the heat of the kitchen. Then if all goes well repeat this routine once a month till we are no longer looking through boxes that have never been unpacked, have totes that we don't know the contents and have a house that looks like someone lives there, not just our stuff exploded all over the place. My job today is to get some more shelves and some decorations. The hot sauce tumbler with flowers in it looked cute the first week or two but now it just looks like someone stuck flowers in someone's drink.
keriamonMessage #262 - 07/09/08 07:15 PMNothing like scheduling a monthly decluttering. Makes it a routine (and we talked about how DH doesn't like change). I'm with you on getting some decorating stuff. I've been working on clearing off our front deck all this week. Now that I've got it almost empty, I want to fill it back up--this time on purpose. I was thinking about it this morning. Nature abhors a vacuum. This deck is so wide and long that to leave it completely empty would be like a vacuum, lol. If I don't decorate it nicely, we will just fill it back up with junk. I got a birdfeeder on sale at the grocery store for $10. It's antique bronze and blue glass. Very pretty. Also got a hanging basket, and found a pot of oregano for $1 at Lowe's. Now I'm really jonesing for some metal chairs to make a seating area on one end of the deck, but they're $110 each at retail and I'm just not going to pay that. I've given a picture of them to my mother and have her looking for them at yard sales and junk stores. It's a common design--the metal mesh contoured seat with a spring in the back so that you can rock back and forth. Home Depot calls them plantation chairs. But they're the best thing for our situation. The trees around us--especially the walnut tree--will blacken anything that lives under them. Black chairs with an open-mesh seat will stay relatively clean and at least visually clean. The wicker furniture and chair cushions that everyone is into now would be black before winter. We've had some plastic patio furniture before and it just gets too nasty. I have to have something that will, by design, resist the gunk our trees put off.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #263 - 07/09/08 07:38 PMI just managed to get rid of some of the clutter. Sure it's just a couple pairs of shoes that don't fit any more but they are leaving my house. And I'm going to get some free decorating stuff. If it works out I'll be getting rid of some outgrown clothes too. I think that perhaps keeping things around that used to fit and no longer fit is probably not good energy. It gives that feeling like you can backslide and things can go back to how they were because you have the stuff there to catch you. Now that those things are leaving I have to make sure to work on moving forward and not give up on this. Ok so actual thing I have to make sure I don't backslide on is my weight but by making myself have to go out and buy new pants( something I don't like) it gives me incentive to not give up in my one goal of becoming a healthy weight. And the shoes were just a reminder of being rash( loved em had to have em) and with out them there I no longer have the "well I've done it before won't hurt if I do it again." Ok now I think I'm looking deeper then I need to be. Oh and something for your front deck might be a nice bench. One of those ones with the wrought iron sides? I see them all the time and you could paint yours black to match the gunk from the trees. You can use it as seating or as a place to put plants that you might want up off the ground. Gets too dirty blast it with the hose and slap on a new coat of paint( just hose it down and let the trees to the repainting ).
keriamonMessage #264 - 07/09/08 08:39 PMNah, we wouldn't sit on a bench. They're not usually comfortable, and they're not versitile. If we get chairs, we are more likely to sit in them because they are more comfortable and we can move them to face each other or move them to other parts of the porch if we need more shade or light. I really want to make an outdoor living area, not just a decorated scape. I envision mornings with coffee or late evening when the light is dimming.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:55:02 GMT -5
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #265 - 07/10/08 03:36 PMNeed to rethink the nice dinner plans on Saturday. DH requested the mac and cheese for tonight and since I was half asleep and he gave me those dang puppy dog eyes I said yes. Too bad we don't have a Chinese place here that delivers. But it's only right down the street so we can go pick it up no problems. I have a couple of plants on my porch. I found that I love cramming planters with veggies since I can't have a proper garden here( I do have one at the parents place). The one thing that I found and love it the Tophat blueberry bush. When I tell people I have a blueberry bush on my balcony I get weird looks but I love it. It's a dwarf variety and it only gets to two feet tall. It's meant for a sunny window but mine is thriving where it is. I'm planning on bringing it in for winter so it doesn't die on me. If it was my deck( which obviously it's not) I'd end up putting herbs and smaller veggie plants in pots on it. I don't know why but if it's an annual flower I kill it. If it's a perennial it goes into overdrive and takes over where ever I planted it. So I have to stick with eadibles because it's the only thing I haven't managed to mess up. But I agree with the bench isn't very comfy. I like mine but I keep plants on it.
keriamonMessage #266 - 07/10/08 03:40 PMYeah, I told my husband some of my ideas for our deck last night and he was in agreement. I also told him I was thinking about making us an herb pot garden on the one side of our deck that gets a lot of sun--the oregano needs that, at least. Need to find something interesting to put all of these pots on. We're planning on taking the stairs off the porch on that side because we never use them, one tread is half broken anyways, and we're about to expand the pasture right up to the deck there to boot. It would work out perfectly if those stairs just ripped off in one solid chunk, and then I could put them up on the porch and have rows of herbs on them, but somehow I don't think it will work that way, LOL. But I will have the lumber from it to build myself some sort of plant perch.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #267 - 07/10/08 04:10 PMIf you don't mind curb shopping( or garbage picking) keep you eye out for stuff people put out with their garbage. I know you go to the ( or shall we call the curb shopping super store ) and I'm sure that people with leave stuff there you can use. My mom does that all the time. She's dragged an old wringer style washer home once and then used it as a planter. I'm using an old wooden kid's table that I dragged out of MIL's basement to put some of my smaller plants on. I actually have my grill on an old table I grabbed out of the trash from my mom's across the street neighbor( she even helped me put it in the car ) and it's just the right size for my little grill on top and fits the standard size propane tank underneath. She also grabs interesting looking containers too. Dad wasn't to thrilled with the hospital toilet thing she grabbed but they compromised and it stays in the back yard. She filled it with flowers that have vines and it actually looks cool. Dad agrees but won't tell Mom because then it will end up in the front yard. And I asked DH last night about some things I was looking at for the house. He honestly doesn't care what I do or what I get as long as I don't go overboard on spending money and can't make the rent next month. But he did mention that it would be kind of cool to put pink flamingoes on the front door. We had a tropical themed wedding( DH and minister even wore cargo shorts with Hawaiian shirts) so I know exactly where to go to start looking for stuff. Already found a nice doormat with flip flops on it.
keriamonMessage #268 - 07/10/08 04:33 PMOoooo, you know what you need? A yard flamingo outside your door, LOL. If you have to, make up a large flowerpot with dirt and top with pretty rocks (better yet, shells) and stick the flamingo in it. No one will ever fail to remember which apartment is yours! Something that some people also did at my apartment was to put an over-the-door wreath hanger (they have these at the Dollar Tree around Christmas) and put a wreath on the outside of their door. If you lightly stick stuff on, you can use the same exact wreath but change out the decorations based on the season. Again, the Dollar Tree is a good place to get cute but cheap holiday decorations. Something you can do to make stuff easy to take on and off is get those cheap wooden sticks than florists use to reinforce flowers and either use the wire on it to secure something to the stick, or hot glue something to it. The sticks should then poke right into your wreath. Then when you want to redecorate, just pull everything out and stick in new decorations.
chicgMessage #269 - 07/10/08 04:57 PMHi, I just want you all to know that I've been reading this thread and just love it, so I finally thought I'd tell you all. Keriamon, you're like an encyclodedia! I have a small rental and I've been interested in fung shui before, but didn't get too into it. I made a few changes, tried to arrange my furniture in a practical, correct way, but lost focus. I feel very unbalanced (if that makes sense) lately and I could use a hobby, and I love decorating and stuff like that, so I'm going to get some of the books you recommend and add it to my summer projects. A few things - my entry has always been dismal. That's going to be the first thing I work on. I followed the Apartment Therapy Spring Cure a little, but always get hung on my little entry. My bedroom and bathroom are good for now, but I need to work on the rest. It's hard with such a small space and no option to paint. Next, the house number article was so true it's creepy. I grew up in a "5" which is vibrant, adventurous, etc. Just like my childhood. When I moved to Chicago, I lived in a "3" which was described as overindulgent, enjoy-now-pay-later," and cautioned to be careful with finances. Guess when my finances spiraled out of control and I was going out all the time, shopping, having too much fun, and just being selfish? Now I'm in a "7" which is good for spirituality, thoughts, serenity, but also is bad for relationships as you tend to be alone here. Um, guess who is single and can't find a nice boy? Anyhow, I can't move right now but I can try to improve my home's energy! Just wanted to say thanks for all the insight. can't wait to start reading a bit more, making some corners, and fixing up my place. One nice thing, a lot of my place already goes with some of the fung-shui principles, that makes me feel i'm doing something right just by having decent design!
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #270 - 07/10/08 05:02 PMOur little section of floor in front of the front door isn't big enough for a flower pot. I tried already . The only thing with the wreath is that out of the twelve units in our building only two don't have one. Ours and the empty one across the hall. I do however like the idea of putting something on the door that I can change out with the seasons. Maybe not a wreath but funny welcome signs, or those garden flags. Our door is metal so I can use magnets to stick stuff to it. The management lets us put hooks in the walls next to our door so maybe instead of putting something on the door itself I can put a small hook there and get small banners or pictures that I can change out there. I'd zipstrip a plastic garden flamingo to the railing but that's one thing that is clearly a no-no in our lease. I already own the flamingoes too. I may talk to the office and see if I can put some fake flowers in pots on the landing. We're not supposed to technically use the common areas for storage but since it's not storage but a decoration they may allow it. It's a ten foot by ten foot landing with a huge picture window and it's really depressing because it just calls out for plants or something to break the industrial look. They are trying to upgrade the look of the complex but since our building hasn't been done yet( and isn't in the schedule for another couple of years) our building looks sad on the inside compared to the others. Outside they are all the same. Hmm I wonder if my dollar tree has any red silk flowers this time of year?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:55:15 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #271 - 07/11/08 03:18 PMChic, you said you can't paint, but will your apartment let you put up wallpaper? Mine would, so long as I took it down before I left (which wasn't a problem). You can get paper that's a solid color and put it up and it's like you've painted it. You can also get border and just put that around the walls; color enough for feng shui purposes, certainly. I ended up with borders up in all of my rooms but one, and I painted it. Something fun I did in my bathroom and hallway was I took extra border and cut out the shapes--stars and moons in the hallway and seashells in the bathroom---then stuck those shapes up on a section of wall randomly. For the bathroom, I had the extra seashells on the wall between the top of the tile around the tub and under the solid border. It was quite whimsical. Here's something else you might can do. I read about it in a book somewhere, and I'm not sure of the exact context, but it might work for you. You can add a number to your street address. This only works if you have your street address posted on your door or house--or maybe on your mailbox, that might work (if you live in an apartment, you might can get a wood plaque and paint or put brass numbers on it and hang it beside the door, but depending on how your apartment is organized, that might look odd). What I read was, wherever you have your street address publically displayed, take some clear fingernail polish and write in another number behind it. I think the original purpose was to add a lucky number to your address, but you might could try this to reorder the spirit number of your house to be encourage it to be something you want right now. If it works, but you end up wanting to change your life, remove the fingernail polish and/or paint over it with paint to match your door or plaque, then write in a different number. The number 9 is a very lucky feng shui number. 3 times 3 is 9, so 3 is also a good number. 5 represents the elements, so it's good. If you could add one of those numbers to your address and get a house spirit number that also pleased you, that would be extra good. If you can't add a number to the posted street address at your apartment, you might add one of the lucky numbers (go ahead and make it a 9) behind your apartment door number. If you have a small entry area, put up a mirror. A big mirror. The bigger the mirror, the bigger the entry way becomes. It also helps get the chi coming in through the door moving out of that tiny area and into the rest of the house. Just make sure your mirror does not look onto anything cluttered or dirty because you can multiply the mess! And make sure, since you are hungry for love that you feng shui the relationship corner of your apartment overall and each room separately. Remember you don't want many solitary decorations; put things up in pairs. I've also heard that bookish people have to be careful they don't put their bookcase in their love corner or they will only have relationships with books! You all better watch out; I've got a new book on feng shui cures that I'm reading! Many more tips to follow!
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #272 - 07/11/08 05:46 PMI wonder how Feng Shui works with carnivorious plants? I saw a great deal on venus flytraps and I've always wanted one.
keriamonMessage #273 - 07/11/08 06:33 PMI had one once and it was pretty neat. Killed it repotting it. I always kill everything I repot! Did you know they are native to North Carolina? I had always thought they must be something tropical and foreign. Anyways, anything named "trap" is probably going to be like having a cactus--you don't one too big or too many of them, you have to be careful where you put it, and you balance it out with things not so visually aggressive. Although, at least the fly trap is beneficial in that it kills flies for you. I would not put it in any section of the house or individual room relating to people. You don't want to feel trapped by your family, your friends, or the love of your life. Although, depending on how aggressive a dater you are, you might just put it in your relationship corner so you can entrap someone else! LOL. But no, seriously, I would leave it away from those three areas. But I could see it as being good in a money corner because you want to trap money. I might especially put it in a bathroom's money corner because the pipes are always draining money away and the fly trap can catch the chi (and money) for you before you lose it (put it in a purple pot or on top of a mirror if you put it in the money section so it know what it's doing--trapping money!). I might also put it in the knowledge and skills corner so my mind could work like a "steel trap." Good memory, fast learning. The color for the pot in that corner would be blue. Or you might try a pot that is or looks like stone. That section is associated with earth, and not only do I associate stones with the earth, but they are a heavy element and you use them to ground you. I can't think of anything better than some weight to my studying. Both so I can study more weighty subjects and so I can ground the knowledge I have, pin it down and retain it. But those are the only two sections that I really see that it would be helpful. I'm not sure what message it would convey in health, fame or career. It might help you catch a job, or trap you in one; it might kill some bug you have or you might find you catch everything cold passing through; you might seem quick-witted and exotic at parties, or you might get stuck with an undeserved reputation. Okay, so I'm reading my new book at lunch and the house number thing IS feng shui; the author has just covered it. And Chic, she specifically says a house with the number 7 is the hardest to have to try and live in because the spiritual aspect detaches you from the material world! (Unless you are a pastor or belong to a religious order, at which point it's probably quite useful.) Also, I would be VERY careful about the number of books I owned in a 7 house because skills and knowledge connect with a 7 house. Which goes back to what I warned about books in the relationship corner. In a 7 house, you are already prone to lofty thoughts and contemplations; books just enhance that. Which is not at all what you want if you are trying to get your finances in order and attract a mate. Stones, things that are physically heavy (like a large armoire), or which represent heavy things (like pictures of elephants or whales) are probably going to be a good decoration throughout a 7 house to get you grounded back in reality. Isn't it interesting that the Chinese associate 7 with spiritualness? 7 has long been a lucky number to westerners, and growing up did you not always rhyme seven with heaven?
keriamonMessage #274 - 07/11/08 06:42 PMWoo-hoo! I just found out that sharp objects DO have a home in feng shui--in the fame section. You would not BELIEVE the number of swords and medieval things of destruction we have in our house. Whole big pile of them in one room. Now I just need to see if my husband will let me rearrange the ones in the living room. Unfortunately we have a window where fame is in our living room, so we can't hang any up there. Come to think of it, there's a window in the den in the same section--and that's the room with the large pile in it. Also has his computer desk in front of it. Hmm, this is going to take some thinking about. Oh, and this is the only section good for cactus because the spines, like sharp pointy objects, is also a fire element.
keriamonMessage #275 - 07/11/08 06:52 PMOh, and Marti, I was just reading that if you want respect from someone (like you want your husband to respect your right to some space in the house), or to get people to listen to you and give you their full attention, work on your fame and reputation section. One simple cure is to get red paper and write on it "I get respect for my ideas and personal space from DH" and put it in your fame section. You can hide it, so it's okay if you slip it under the TV or couch. A miniature red rose plant works too.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #276 - 07/11/08 07:22 PMHmm, why not put a nice shelf over the window and use it like a display case? Like those fancy stands they have for katanas. Get a couple for some daggers or carefully put a sword there. Or depending on what's under the window maybe you could use under the couch as storage for some of the pointy objects. It's out of sight if that's what you and it's still in the section. Though I don't think one would normally store such things in a rubbermade tote. Since you do reenacting I don't think anyones going to bat an eye if you have stuff like that in your living room. Said husband is going out this weekend to get me some stuff at Mr. Seconds. Including a length of counter top and some shelves to put it on for my craft stuff in "my" spot.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:55:47 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #277 - 07/11/08 09:44 PMNo, no one thinks our swords are weird. At least no one we invite into the house. It's just we've got like 5 on the walls in the living room, plus one or two laying around, plus a large pole arm in a corner. And that's not counting the 2 dozen or so in the den in a pile, LOL. But, they are a metal object, so if I can't get them in the fame section, I can put them in creativity. Helpful people can also make use of metal. Might make my creative cycles violent, though. LOL They're okay in the friends section because they will attract our medieval friends, who are already helpful to start with.
pink.cshmereMessage #278 - 07/12/08 08:02 AMthe number 7 is the hardest to have to try and live in because the spiritual aspect detaches you from the material world! Oh dear!! Keriamon, I live in a 7. And I'm on a quest to understand deeper meanings to my life and so on. Spirituality has been something that's been on my mind for quite some time. Could this be why I so often say "My head is in the clouds", or something like that? I've been beating myself up so much lately because I spend soooo much time thinking instead of doing, and now I read about this! I went to the link the day you posted it, but I didn't really pay it much attention until now. Also, I would be VERY careful about the number of books I owned in a 7 house because skills and knowledge connect with a 7 house. a 7 house, you are already prone to lofty thoughts and contemplations; books just enhance that. I have books on an overflowing bookcase, in a storage container under DD's bed, in the attic, on a "book table" in my den, and scattered throughout my bedroom as I read them. I do a lot of contemplating about many things, most of which just circle back to life. And I haven't been in a worthwhile relationship in the 7 years I've been here. OMG, you're scaring me here. I must say that I tend to be a skeptic when it comes to things like this, but it seems that there may be some truth to this, simply because of the paths my life has taken since I moved here. It's kinda scary, and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm not even sure I want to know anymore about it. I've gradually become a loner since I've been here, and I've been content with that even though I use to be a very outgoing person. I go to work, I come home. To relax and unwind I read a book. No tv. My friends get on me because I don't stay in touch like I use to. I haven't even actually seen my best friend at all this year. I always say I need to get a life, but maybe there's something deeper at work here. On the surface, thinking that my address has something to do with what's going on in my life is ludicrous to me, and I have to figure out if it conflicts with my religious beliefs. OTOH, how much can I really chalk up to coincidence? Suddenly this has gone beyond decluttering my home. I'm all for personal growth, but why oh why did I have to stumble upon this now?? I have to think on this some more. See, there I go again, thinking.
2007debtheavenMessage #279 - 07/12/08 09:38 PMDH picked up DS1's bed from the neighbor's garage this morning. The bed is back in his room and all made up. Everything is finally back in its place after 4 1/2 months! I asked DH if that didn't inspire him to continue decluttering the basement storage room, he said, NO. I had promised he could do it in the fall if he helped me put DS1's room back together quickly, and he did. A promise is a promise! Next on the agenda is DS3's room. I said I would do it in August since he's at camp now and then we go away, but he comes back on Wed so I'm hoping to start next weekend. (Clothes are done. Books, toys, desk aren't.)
abundanceandprosperityMessage #280 - 07/13/08 07:34 PMSo, I finally did some of the fixes for the child/creativity section. Keriamon a fix for trapping the chi from running down my steps and out the front door is to place red tape under the last tread. So I did that last week. Guess what, after more than a year of trying, I am finally pregnant! Coincidence? Does it matter?
pink.cshmereMessage #281 - 07/14/08 07:20 AMfutureplanning: CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Ok ladies, keep the good news coming. I need the motivation.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #282 - 07/14/08 02:41 PMCongratulations Futureplanning! Nothing got done this weekend and I do mean nothing. No laundry, no cleaning and no going through the totes. Bah. But I have a good reason. I had a bad tummy bug and DH is in the middle of a project at work and he had to bring some of it home. There is always next weekend. I am feeling better now so I am going to work on some stuff today. Just one or two things because I'm still feeling blah. But in DH's effort to make me feel better he went to the outlet mall on Saturday and got me some new pots and pans. I love my cooking stuff. It's the good Revereware. I went to make some dinner on Friday and my white sauce had chunks of non-stick coating floating in it  . I wonder how much we have been ingesting over the months we've been using the old stuff. But I think today is a wandering day. You know the day's where you wander around the house with the garbage bag picking up and emptying out all the garbage's. Then you wander around just picking stuff up and putting it in the right room. I don't think I can do anything more complicated then that because I feel like my brain's fried.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:56:00 GMT -5
2007debtheavenMessage #283 - 07/14/08 03:02 PMFutureplanning Congratulations! That is wonderful news!
keriamonMessage #284 - 07/14/08 04:58 PMFuture, and to think we started this to see if we could all get better finances. Hey, success is success! I was just finishing up my book "Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life" which seems to be a pretty good feng shui book, and the author (who is also a Karen, I believe) said that she had just bought a new couch right after getting pregnant. She knew it was the wrong color for where she wanted to put it, but she was going to balance it out with a throw, but with the baby coming and everyone and their brother giving them baby stuff that they were trying to store, she didn't get it sorted out. Guess what, it was in her family section. She ended up having the baby prematurely and was out of work for longer than expected and they had a bunch of hospital bills and went from financially secure to drained. After she got the baby home, she went on a tear around the house with construction paper making teh appropriately-shaped cutouts and putting them everywhere. She said the baby's room was chock full of them. But right after this, various family members gave them money which took care of all their accumulated financial problems and the baby grew fast and was quite healthy. As she recovered, she got her house back in order so she could take down the construction paper. One day she took down all the papers in the baby's room, with the intention of decorating it properly and the baby got sick for the first time with an ear infection. Once they were home from the doctor, she fixed his room up pronto and two days later he was just fine again, even without antibiotics. She told this story to illustrate that even feng shui consultants can get overwhelmed by life and end up just "putting this here for now" and making a disaster out of their lives. It's probably worse for them because I'd think the more you believe, the more it works. Faith, you know. Of course, you can go about not believing in feng shui so you don't have to worry about knowing you are messing up your life but one, you probably still get some negative energy from badly-placed stuff anyways, and you are going to get lackluster results from stuff that is well-placed. So in "protecting" yourself by not believing, you also get rid of your chance to get even better in life. Religion works that way too. You can chose not to believe, but it seems to me, at least, people who have a real strong faith in religion--any religion--cope with major problems in life better. At least they seem to be more calm and relaxed when they think that everything is part of some great plan, cycle, etc. And studies have shown that stress hormone(s) can ruin your heart, make you gain weight, etc. I think stress is what gets people nowadays; I think you get fat from stress and that stress kills you. Meaning if you stress about losing weight, you will not lose weight AND you will be stressing yourself into an early grave! Anyways, design the baby's room with an eye towards feng shui and I'm sure it will be a great room for him or her. Just the intention of making a sanctuary for baby, of putting all the effort out for him or her, will be the best thing of all. Don't forget to pamper yourself. A relaxed mom has a healthier baby. If you didn't hit up your family section(s) yet, do that because you want help from family when the birth comes, and afterwards even more. The helpful people section can help you find a good doctor, nurse and anyone else non-family that you need. Can also make family feel even more helpful. We had at least one other person who was wanting to have a baby. This feng shui lady I was reading said to try and leave stuff in your bedroom, especially, alone. If things are arranged bad, then fix them, but don't change things around just to change things around; that stirs up chi. She says you want chi to settle if you want to grow anything in your womb. She even recommended not vacuuming in the bedroom, at least right around the bed. That also stirs up chi. Of course, Future put up the red tape to stop her chi from running out the do
keriamonMessage #285 - 07/14/08 05:07 PMBut I think today is a wandering day. You know the day's where you wander around the house with the garbage bag picking up and emptying out all the garbage's. Then you wander around just picking stuff up and putting it in the right room. I don't think I can do anything more complicated then that because I feel like my brain's fried. Be sure to wander through the centers of each room and the center of your apartment because that's your health area. Make sure there's no trash, dirty laundry, etc. Coffee tables are bad to fall in the center of rooms and they are terrible about collecting junk. Yellow and earth belong in the health section, so yellow flowers are a good coffee table decoration. Metal is a good secondary element, but watch out for wood because it uproots (upsets) earth. Metal cuts wood, so if you're like me and can't get rid of the wood coffee table (or whatever else you have in the center of your house that's wood), you can decorate it with metal or white objects to null it out.
keriamonMessage #286 - 07/14/08 06:02 PMI must say that I tend to be a skeptic when it comes to things like this, but it seems that there may be some truth to this, simply because of the paths my life has taken since I moved here. It's kinda scary, and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm not even sure I want to know anymore about it. Phoenix, you already know the worst of it. The only way from here is up! Does it really hurt to try some stuff out and see if life improves any? Right now I am just working on my home using stuff I already have (of course, I live in a creative house, LOL). Most of us own plenty enough stuff that we can just move it around and get all the proper cures. And it's actually not good to try and feng shui too much at once because you can stir up so much chi, you don't feel at home anymore and you can actually make your life feel chaotic. So, to my thought, if you work with stuff you already have to start with, you can't stir up the chi too much because it's already used to this stuff; you're just getting the benefit of putting it in a better place. Once you've moved the stuff around and feel like you have a good start in every room (I'm doing my house room by room because my house is too oddly-shaped to apply the bagua to it as a whole, but if your house accommodates the bagua, then you can think of things as a bagua section instead of a single room with all the sections in it), then you can buy new decorations as you see a need for them. I had most of our rooms with a theme, but now I'm mixing them up because this Civil War picture is better than the asian stuff I had, and this medieval picture is better than the Civil War picture, etc. Once I get everything sorted out, then I can take my time to look at each room and decide what I need to replace because from an interior design standpoint it doesn't fit every well, or what I can add to tie stuff together. So here's what I would do. One, start going through the books and thinning them out. Take them to a used bookstore and generate some cash. If they're hid under a bed or in an attic, you obviously don't use them. While some reference books are helpful, but don't need a lot of use, most books that are put up are not useful to you at all. If they are fiction, then you have read them and in reality you are done with them (because if you loved them greatly and like to re-read them frequently, like I do with Harry Potter books, they'd be where you can get to them). If you don't really see yourself re-reading a book because it's was only okay the first time around, it needs to go. If you haven't re-read a book ever and you've had it more than 5 years, it needs to go. Since books and spiritualness are connected, you have probably been hanging on to these books because you feel like the answer you seek might be in them. But let's face it, the answers to life aren't readily found in a fiction book, lol. It's just an illusion of mental knowledge, but not a real contributor to it. Do I have to say if any of these books are religious or spiritual in nature, and yet hidden away in boxes where you can't get to them, they were not helpful to you? Not everything you read, even on a subject you want to know more about, speaks to you. If it doesn't speak to you now, get rid of it. If you ever get to the point in your life where it WILL help, then it will come back into your life to help you. But you only need those books around you which 1) you get true enjoyment from reading and 2) that inspire you, answer your questions, make you feel sure and confident. But I bet if you apply those two rules to your fiction and non-fiction books respectively, you will find your non-fiction books aren't doing it for you. If they did, you'd not be telling me you're still seeking spiritually; you'd say you are happy spiritually and only have to do some contemplating on questions that come up every once in a while. Mind you, I'm not saying you can't continue to seek books that will help you in your spiritual quest, it's just that if they don't speak to you, let them go back out aga
keriamonMessage #287 - 07/14/08 06:03 PMagain. If you seek knowledge, when the time is right, God (or whatever Higher Power you want to believe in) will grant you the means to acquire it. In the meantime, put the books that you don't get help from back out into circulation so that they have a chance to find the people they will help. I think I mentioned this to you before, but I may have been talking to someone else and you missed it. You need a lot of grounding. You feel like your head is up in the clouds, so you need visible reminders that you live on terra firma. You can use earth things in every section except those that use water. So no earth elements in your prosperity or career areas because earth dams water and you don't want your career or money to get stopped up. Earth is actually recommended in your love and knowledge corners. Some people say that stones are not an element in and of themselves, but I feel that they are very much an earth element since they come from the earth and if you get right down to it, they are a collection of minerals, same as dirt is minerals that are not so solid. And in your case, stone is the very best earth element you can use because a rock is nothing if not heavy. Put some weight on those ideas. You can add stones by getting real river-pebble stones to decorate with. Pictures of mountains are REAL heavy, so they work. Animals that area heavy, like whales (which would be the only thing I can think of okay in a water section, so long as you don't go overboard and weigh down your money or career) and elephants are also grounding. Take a look at your pictures carefully. Pictures of the sky, like sunrises and dawns, are a big no-no if you are up in the clouds. Also, pictures that have air elements to them, like balloons, birds, flags on poles, skyscrapers (notice the word sky there) or anything that's an aeriel shot or otherwise taken from a lofty perch. You want to be a part of creation, not looking down on it. You don't have to get rid of those pictures right now, but you do need to take them down and when you put them in storage, store them hanging up facing the wall or laying down facing the floor. Don't leave them where the pictures are visible. This is how you can deactivate something you want to keep, like a picture or mirror, but that you don't have room for in your life right now. Just review your storage collection every year or so to see if the pictures you put away are things you still want to keep in storage, or if things have changed and you can use them again (although be careful if you take down all your air pictures, put up earth pictures, life gets good, then you swap them out; your head will go right back up in those clouds again). I would even ixnay pictures of angels if you have them, because they're pretty lofty too. Better, if you want religious icons, to chose saints in down-to-earth portraits. St. Francis of Assissi is a great one because he's always depicted standing around with animals. Very down-to-earth. Or St. Joseph, who is often depicted with his wood-working tools, if not sitting down in his shop working (because he's a woodworker, he goes well in the wood sections, like family (he's also the patron saint of houses which makes him really great there), and as a secondary in prosperity). The Virgin and Child in at-home scenes (which were pretty popular in the middle ages; ever seen the baby Jesus in a baby walker?) are fine, but stay away from them floating up towards heaven on a throne. St. Michael is the only angel that I can see using, and only if he's in his devil-slaying pose because that represents him come to earth. None of him up in the air and none of him holding the scales of justice--which are the exact same sign as the constellation Libra--which is both an air element and something that is sometimes viewed as being wishy-washy or unable to come to a decision (although my husband says I'm the only non-wishy-washy Libra he's ever known). Speaking of St. Joseph being a salt-of-the-earth kind of man, you can take some salt and sprinkle it i
keriamonMessage #288 - 07/14/08 06:04 PMit in a line over the threshold of your door. Salt is ritually pure in many cultures and religions (even in the middle ages, it spoke of your worth if you sat "above" or "below" the salt cellar at table). Many people put it across their doorways to keep bad spiritual stuff, negative energy, etc. out. Muslims use it to clean with during Ramadan. Sumo wrestles throw it into the ring before they fight to purify it. If you think about it, what can live in salt? If you pour pure salt out on plants, they die. If water gets too salty, fish and other animals die. If we get too much salt, we die. If you salt something that's dead (like meat), it will not decompose because the salt kills or repels the bacteria that rot it. So if you think about it very literally and scientifically, salt is like the ultimate antiseptic; nothing can live where there's too much salt. So you see why people use it with spiritual intentions as well; if what we can see can't live in salt, why wouldn't what we can't see be unable to handle it either? So, you can not only spiritually protect yourself with salt, but you can also use it to clean a space spiritually/energetically, and I think it would be a good grounder, because it's definitely an earth element. (Salt comes from the earth and gets in the ocean, not the other way around.) Jesus also talked favorably about those people who were the salt of the earth because they represent simplicity, humbleness and meekness, so I think you can't go wrong with some salt, no matter your religious persuasion. In addition to putting it across a doorway to keep out negative things, you can just sprinkle some around a room to clear it out. Refresh the doorway regularly and the room(s) as you feel it's needed. After an argument in a room is a good time to get out the salt. Regular old cooking salt will do, although some people prefer sea salt.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:56:32 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #289 - 07/14/08 07:10 PM So after much delay, I started on my house this weekend. It was like pulling teeth to get the motivation to tidy up a bit, but I am happy with the results. I decided not to try and make myself do it all at once, because, let's be realistic, that's not going to happen. So I started with the master bath. That's in the far end of the house and wasn't bad dirty/messy to start with and the tub is set on an angle with a shelf in the corner above it, so it's just asking to be decorated. Guess what? The prosperity corner for that room. So I studied up on prosperity. I was short on purple, but I had other things that worked quite well. Gold is an excellent color, so I took the gold cross I had in the living room (which my husband wanted me to move anyways) and put it in the corner. Oh, and there are also two mirrors in the corner, which are not only an appropriate water element (as is the tub itself), but they symbolically double whatever you have in front of them. Previously I had this area decorated with some of my asian stuff, which when I look at it, was predominately black, but lacked other forms of symbolism. Which may be why money and prosperity in general is just "eh" in life right now. Not bad, but not great either. So, in addition to this large gold cross, I put my jewel box there. This is a little box I made on a whim at an event; just a small, wooden recipe sort of box that I covered in green, gold and silver plastic rhinestones and silver and gold glitter glue. The colors are my heraldic colors, so this visually very much MY box. And even though it's just got cheap plastic gems on it, it is sparkly and fun. And anything that looks rich works, so I figure it will work. I wrote on three sheets of paper (in gold, silver and purple on each sheet) one wish per page for immediate money needs. I put those in my box, along with some coins (one of each denomination). And lastly I cleaned up my dusty crystal votives (WATERford votives)--crystal being both expensive and luxurious and also glass, which is a water element--and put some silver tinsel in one (made from cut-up aluminum foil) and put the other one on top of a CD, which reflected even more rainbows of light. So we will see if this prosperity corner makeover does anything. Since my house is not where I can really put the bagua over it, I am doing it room by room, so I have several more corners to have to work on. Also, I put a mirror on the back of the toilet closet door. Mirrors on the outside of bathrooms help counteract the negativity of the toilet and flushing away of good things in life, but in my case, I also had a full-length mirror I had been wanting to use, but didn't know where to put it. I guess because we always leave that door open, and our robes hang on the inside section, it never occurred to me if I shut the door, I could put the mirror on the outside of it. Now we both can finally see all of ourselves in a mirror. My husband said he liked it there--but then laughed at me when I said it was also good feng shui. He's a skeptic. I don't care if he is or not, so long as he lets me have my way with the decorating! And maybe if I start falling over money thanks to my jewel box in the bathroom, he will want one too. Although one of my wishes is for an affordable new horse trailer (by new I mean new to us), so he will profit from that if it comes to pass.
keriamonMessage #290 - 07/14/08 07:41 PMI also did some slight decorating in most of the other areas in the bathroom. I took my husband's picture of JEB Stuart, which wasn't doing a thing in the prosperity corner of the bedroom (also my side of the bed), and put it in the fame section of the bathroom. He was the general of calvary under Lee, and if there had been no Forrest, he'd have been the best calvary leader of the war. As it was, he was second. In other words, he's famous and was good at what he did. Ironically, our horse is being broken to ride right now (we're going to go ride her for the first time next week) and I would certainly like to be a good rider. I have visions of one day riding her to great victories at our re-enactments. And I plan on besting my husband to boot, LOL. He better watch what I do with his pictures! I'm working this week to clean the bathroom up--I cleaned the tub this morning--and that's my plan: one room per week to get clean, tidy, and feng shuied. I may move his picture of Lee into the toilet closet because it's an addition to my creativity section in the bathroom (I do keep my bead catalogs in the magazine rack and dream of making jewelry!). If anyone was known for thinking outside the box and doing the impossible, it was General Lee. He did things that you never do, like divide a small force, and he won. And even if he lost, he kept up the attack, which is also something you don't do, and he scared the bejeezus out of McClellan. So pretty dang creative, if you ask me. Only this particular picture is of Lee surrendering to Grant. I don't think that's a negative in creativity, since you don't surrender that, so Lee's creative ju-ju should overwhelm, HOWEVER, it's hanging in the career section of our bedroom right now and a picture of defeat isn't good there! Especially since my husband is doing the work of a higher pay-grade person, but has neither the title nor the pay. Heck, he has become the defacto manager when the managers aren't there. But he lacks full authority and command (and pay). Him, all the managerial responsibility of Lee, and yet he's a person stripped of rank at the same time. Yes, I think that picture needs to go elsewhere. I have a picture in the living room over the fireplace that would be perfect: a medieval man being knighted by a queen. Tell me that's not a picture of promotion. Right now it's hanging in the love section of our living room (and I think he did get an upgrade to me over his ex, LOL!). There is only one other room in the house where it could go in the career section, but our bedroom would be best. Only it's a very large picture and I'm not sure how it will do on the wall it needs to go on. Also, my husband is VERY fond of that picture. It's his favorite. I have another medieval picture of a woman giving a love token to a knight that would work better in our love section in the living room, but I don't know how he will take to me putting it up instead and putting the other one in the bedroom. I guess I will try it one day and see what he says. I also want to get rid of the headboard on our bed. It's a full-size headboard and so even though it's extra large, it's not big enough to attach to our queen-size bed, so it's just pinned to the wall by the bed, and lately it's taken to either squeaking against the bed or banging against the wall anytime either of us so much as rolls over, and that's grating on my nerves like no one's business. I get REALLY cranky if my sleep is disturbed, so there are times when I wake up in the middle of the night ready to rip that thing out and burn it at midnight. But I remembered just the other day that I have two large, wooden banners that are painted in a medieval style that I don't have hanging up because there's no where for them. But if I get rid of this jumbo headboard, I could hang them both over the bed and I think that would visually make up for the lack of headboard. They're also major tree elements, being all thick wood, and that's our family section, which uses wood. My husband is fond of these banners
keriamonMessage #291 - 07/14/08 07:46 PM(got them for $30 at a yard sale; one of my best finds), so given that I keep complaining about the headboard, he may okay the replacement of the headboard with the banners. I'd certainly prefer them because they're better looking than the headboard and they won't annoy me.
keriamonMessage #292 - 07/15/08 02:47 PMI asked our building/office manager yesterday if maybe, possibly, I could have some sort of rolling table to use in our file hallway because there's nothing anywhere near it where you can set papers down to file, or put files down to look through. She found a great little rolling cabinet/table that another tenant left behind and I was so excited to have it yesterday afternoon, I pushed it into the hallway and did all my filing! This was filing I had been putting off for months. Now it's out of my floor in my office! It feels great! To think something as simple as a table on wheels could make my life easier and make something dreaded a heck of a lot easier. I'm chalking that one up to feng shui, since I've been needing this very thing for 3 years now and have been thinking about what exactly I wanted for several days. Remember, I just spruced up my bathroom this weekend and suddenly the perfect tool comes to me at work. Now I hope that other good things will come to me. Like some money, lol.
keriamonMessage #293 - 07/16/08 03:23 PMThis morning I removed the headboard to the bed and hung up my wooden banners. I think they look quite nice and I think my husband will be okay with getting rid of the headboard. I also moved his favorite picture into the career section of the bedroom and moved a love picture over the fireplace in its stead (love section of the living room). I'm not so sure how he will take that. We shall see when he comes home. I have decided, though, that it's not too big for that wall. I already like it there. Our bedroom was sparsely decorated but with that big picture it has more liveliness to it.
2007debtheavenMessage #294 - 07/16/08 10:19 PMKeriamon, I love your posts! I think one room a week is a good plan for you because you "feng shui" the room as you clean / declutter it, which takes longer, of course. So how did your DH react? But I also think you need to set up a space so you can clean and declutter even if you don't yet know how you want to feng shui the room. Better to keep cleaning and decluttering, even if you don't yet know exactly how you want the room to be later. It's easier to figure it out when it's clean with less "stuff". Also, I know you plan to leave your job, but might you consider asking them if you could do it PT for a while? My red geraniums by the door are doing really badly, so I moved them. Oh well. DH gave me a beautiful tiny pink metal box last year, perfect for the career bagua (at first glance opposite the front door but not directly, our 1/2 bathroom). I spent part of today looking for another box because I didn't want to take it out of our bedroom and put it in the terlit. Couldn't find one, so I told DH why I was doing it, and he was fine with it (and rather amused). I put two wishes on it, one for my ideal job and one for his (did the best I could for him, I wrote it, he didn't). Wrote them on two slips of paper, folded them up tight, put them in the box, put the box behind the big candle on the shelf over what I THINK is the career part of the 1/2 bathroom. I've been wanting to do that since you said it, tonight it's finally done. I basically asked for well-paid jobs that we like with good colleagues and short commutes which would provide enough money and time to upkeep our house, enjoy our family, travel together and help others. FT for DH, PT (4 days) for me. I know the universe can play on semantics. Last time I asked "the universe" for "a break", I got one. The very next day my DD with learning issues broke her finger playing basketball at school, less than two weeks before her major end-of-middle-school exam, and had to take the exam with her writing hand in a splint using special ergonomic fat pens. She passed! So she's off to mainstream HS.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:56:45 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #295 - 07/16/08 10:52 PMmight you consider asking them if you could do it PT? Actually, the main reason I'm looking at leaving is there are heavy rumors (as in I overheard this from an owner himself, but the exact date is still muddy) that the office is relocating and it would take me--with good traffic--a whopping hour and a half to get to work in the new location! I am already doing an hour at the best, but I put my foot down at living in my car 3 hours a day. This is the same amount of time it takes to go see my family, and I know how tiring that drive is to make in one day. If I need a part-time job for extra cash, I can find something closer to home. We're 30 minutes away from two decent-sized cities, and if I was looking for just basic secretarial work to bring home a paycheck, I could find that in either place. I'd not care to work retail again, except we're tied up most weekends and most retail won't touch you if you can't work at least one day 3 out of 4 weekends (I think when I worked at Toys R Us, it was one weekend day every month; never a full weekend off). My red geraniums by the door are doing really badly, so I moved them. Oh well. LOL! I forgot about this! When I went to get a hanging basket for one of our trees near the porch, the best looking one I saw at Lowe's were red impatiens. I didn't want birds pooping on our deck, so I put my new bird feeder on a tree beside the deck and hung the basket from the tree that grows up through the deck--which is just to the right of our front door! It was just fate that my red flowers ended up near my door! I'm sorry for your geraniums, but my impatiens are bushed out like crazy. They apparently love living under my walnut tree (I made sure to get a flower that liked constant shade). I also got some oregano for $1 that was in the distressed plant section, put it at the end of the house and you can't tell it was ever looking puny. Its card just said 6+ hours of sunlight, and it gets all that and then some, I think, at that end of the house. I just have to be careful to water it often because it's supposed to stay semi-moist and in all that sunlight it dries up fast. God forbid I have to replant either of them, though; things that otherwise thrive for me die immediate and horrible deaths if I ever put them in another pot. If I have to move the oregano (the impatiens are annuals, but I think that my grandmother gets hers to regrow every year, so I need to call her and see if that's true and what she does to make that happen), I will make my husband transplant it! I know the universe can play on semantics. Last time I asked "the universe" for "a break", I got one, Doh! The lady in my new feng shui book told an amusing story. She did a feng shui consultation for a friend who wanted love. She told her to put her wish down on paper and put it in her love corner. Sometime later her friend was yet again complaining about finding the perfect man for her, only he was married and she refused to break up anyone's marriage. So the consultant went back over to her house and about died laughing when she saw this large banner in the corner of this woman's house: I want a husband. The consultant said, what's the problem; are you not getting husbands??? Apparently how LARGE you write your intentions matters a lot too, lol. When I put wishes in my money box, I wrote them three times each in three different colors of ink: gold, silver and purple. I tried to write them with no loopholes, but I think I might need to go back and check that trailer one. I did put "new" trailer and we want a used one. So maybe I need to rewrite it, "a used horse or stock trailer for $2,000 or less." Because that's what we want exactly. Money to start my business should net me the amount of money I really do need to start it with, and the other one was money to pay off the truck. That's a specific figure, but changes as I pay it down in sections, of course.
keriamonMessage #296 - 07/16/08 10:57 PMBut I also think you need to set up a space so you can clean and declutter even if you don't yet know how you want to feng shui the room. Better to keep cleaning and decluttering, even if you don't yet know exactly how you want the room to be later. It's easier to figure it out when it's clean with less "stuff". I do have a pile of stuff on a bookcase that I have taken down and not rehung, but I think some of it is going to go into a Goodwill box soon. I was really into Asian stuff when I was in college, but now I'm feeling kind of over it and that's most of what I've taken down. Other stuff is just getting exchanged--like one picture in the living room went over the mantle, the mantle picture went into the bedroom, the bedroom picture went into the bathroom, a plate came down from the bathroom and a picture I wasn't hanging, but wanted to, is going to go where the first picture was, lol. Just musical decorations; they all get mixed up and one seems to keep losing out.
abundanceandprosperityMessage #297 - 07/17/08 01:05 PMGreat work Keriamon! I too am interested to hear how DH took the changes. Keep us updated!
cheapcatMessage #298 - 07/17/08 02:00 PMOK, this is probably going to sound weird, but I'm wondering where some things would fit in a room according to Feng Shui. My husband collects skulls & we have a Catalina ram skull over the couch, a huge buffalo skull on the wall perpendicular to the couch wall & a coyote skull talking stick (painted turquoise w/ some red, wite & yellow) over the exit to the dining room/front entrance. There is also a built in cabinet in the corner of the dining room that has a lot of smaller skulls. I'm not sure what category they fit in or what section they would make the most sense in. They seem fine where they are, but I know they can creep people out!
cheapcatMessage #299 - 07/17/08 02:42 PMAlso, is it bad to have the foot of our bed facing the door? Right now the bed is perpendicular to the door & we like where it is, but it would be much easier to find nightstands that fit if we moved the bed. I just don't want to move everything in the room & get the tables if it's not going to work out. I seem to remember something about not having the foot of the bed facing the door. We have 2 totally different size fugly tables right now & will only have 17" on either side where the bed is now as the closet sticks into the room. I've seen so many cool tables at yardsales & consignments shops for cheap, but they're always 19" +. I'll probably have to make them if moving the bed is a bad idea.
keriamonMessage #300 - 07/17/08 03:19 PMCheapcat, you have a similar problem as me, only we have collections of sharp, pointy weapons. I decided last night that since we are people slightly out of the norm, we have to have feng shui that's slightly out of the norm. I think we might be immune to weapons of warfare just because we take an interest in them whereas many other people are repelled by implements of destruction. I did find out that sharp objects represent fire, so they can go in the fame section. But I think they are sort of self-balancing, really, because if you have something you can't get rid of, you can balance it out by putting it's opposite there. It's called the destructive cycle. In this case, our swords, which are metal, are also a symbol of flame, and flame melts metal. So its symbolism cancels out its element, which should make them fairly neutral--at least to us. I'm thinking MAYBE you have too many skulls. The ones on the wall sound fine, actually, but the ones in the cabinet might be a bit much. At least, they're a bit much on display. Could you put them in a box (curio boxes were all the rage in the Victorian period) and only bring them out for your like-minded family and friends? As for the ones on the wall, they sound very much like Indian shamanistic skulls; if they are decorated, they will serve that purpose. They can best go in your skills and knowledge corner since that's also connected to spirituality. Although, if you can't move all of them to that corner of the house (or that corner in individual rooms), you can use their primary color in the appropriate section, I would think. So if you have one that's red, that can go in fame or in love. I would not hang or store any of them in the health section of the house or any room (the center) unless I was involved in some sort of Native American healing ceremony where the animal spirit was needed. Speaking of which, have you looked up these animals' spiritual personifications? It's my understanding that, even across many tribes, animals were viewed as having more or less the same personification. Eagles for leadership, bears for courage, coyotes for wisdom, etc., etc. If you find out what your animal representation connects to, then you will know where to put it. Eagle to career, bear to fame, coyote to skills and knowledge, etc. Just be very careful those are the only things dead you've got in your house. No dried flowers, for instance (fake flowers are fine, so long as they look like live flowering plants). I would also try and have something moving in the house, like a fountain or aquarium with fish. Water is the source of life, and moving water has lots of chi, so it would be a good counter. Water is best in prosperity or career, although the only section it's bad in is fame. Live animals, like the fish or any other pet(s) can counter having a collection of too many dead animals. But if your pets die prematurely or have health problems, try thinning out that skull collection. And you're not too weird; I've always thought it would be neat to have a piece of property with an old family cemetary on it. Many people are freaked out by the idea of a cemetery, but I seem to have an affinity for them. At least old ones; even new ones give me the creeps sometimes to walk through them. Also, is it bad to have the foot of our bed facing the door? It depends on how literal you are here. If your bed is on the wall opposite the door, but directly across from the foot of your bed is another wall or closet, that's okay. But if any part of the foot of your bed is directly across from the door to the room, that's super bad. It's referred to as the corpse position, because corpses are always carried out of a room feet first (weird, but Westerners do this as much as the Chinese do). You don't want to go "feet first" into anything. If you are going to change your side tables, round or hexagonal is the shape to go with. You should also have an easier time finding a small round table over a small square one. Square tables have ang
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:57:17 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #301 - 07/17/08 03:20 PMSquare tables have angles with can cut across your bed and disturb your sleep and/or health. But if you have to have them (we have them and are a long way away from replacing them), you can put a tablecloth/skirt over them and that cancels out the arrow chi. Back in the 90's, round, three-legged particle board tables with skirts over them were all the rage. They were really cheap and you could get them at Wal-Mart; I'm sure you still can. See if they have one like that small enough and then you can put a skirt over it to coordinate with your bed (hopefully also making it match up with the color for that section of the house).
keriamonMessage #302 - 07/17/08 03:39 PM Okay, so update on me. My husband comes home last night, we sit in the living room talking and I keep waiting for him to notice his beloved picture is not over the mantle right in front of him (shows you how much we pay attention to stuff anymore; that's a good reason to move it occasionally; it reintroduces it to the mind). So he eventually goes into the bedroom and sees the banners and he says, yes, he definitely likes that. Even if I did remove his headboard without asking first, LOL. It wasn't until he was going back out of the room that he stopped and noticed his picture on the wall. He said it belonged over the mantle (because it's always been over the mantle) and why not put what I have over the mantle now in the bedroom instead? And I said, well, um, this is the career section and I thought after your really bad day at work yesterday, you needed a promotion of some sort, or some recognition. And I thought this picture looked like a promotion for sure (this is a man getting knighted). And he sort of looked at me odd and went into the living room and looked at the picture over the mantle for a bit, then declared it was too light-colored to be over the mantle. I had to agree with him because I had been thinking the same thing when I was looking at it earlier. Then he asked why we didn't move the picture of Robert the Bruce over the mantle instead? I decided like the good king, I would pick my battles. Yes, this is our relationship corner in the living room, and yes this picture is of Robert the Bruce about to sink his ax through Henry De Bohun's great helm, metal skull cap, maile coif, skull and so far into his brain the man is dead when he falls off his horse--but despite that imagery, I thought I'd led it ride. And, as I said before, we're somewhat outside the norm, so I think a lot of things that bother other people have a different effect on us. Actually, we think it's a pretty cool picture. We're also a bit pro-Scot. Well, my husband is a bit more than a "bit" pro-Scot, since he has a strong family line. So, facing overwhelming odds and overcoming them to brutally crush your enemy (and then go on to free your country) can have its advantages. It would actually be best in the career or fame section, but both of those are windows in our living room and if I move that picture, I have nothing else to put over the mantle right now. Of course, if we start arguing a lot, it's going to move and I will just have to find something else to go there, but I have a lot of mantle to work with there, so I might can balance it out. But, I won a victory (thank you JEB Stuart in my fame corner, LOL). In fact, after we moved some more pictures around and I cleaned the dust off them and the walls (also a good reason to move them from time to time), my husband said he didn't mind me moving our pictures around. I wasn't expecting him to say that! Overall, we had a very pleasant evening together. And you know I moved that picture into career yesterday morning (he had such a bad day at work the day before, was complaining how people expected him to do everything, why weren't other people capable of doing some of this stuff, why was he having to act like a manager when he's not getting the pay, etc.) and last night he said that despite a couple of annoying coworker confrontations, he ended his day with a talk with a manager and REALLY liked what he had to say. Got lots of praise for his work, found out one of the people he can't stand is NOT going to be working with him on a project, and they talked about moving him into a role he really wants. He said he felt really positive after that meeting, like he was being heard. He says he doesn't believe in feng shui, but after I said his picture was best in the career section because I thought it might bring him a promotion, he left it alone. While I'd not mind benefiting from it myself, I really hope that his work situation improves a lot soon. And of course I'm going to say, "See, it didn't happen until I moved that picture!" LOL.
cheapcatMessage #303 - 07/17/08 05:05 PMSquare tables have angles with can cut across your bed and disturb your sleep and/or health. But if you have to have them (we have them and are a long way away from replacing them), you can put a tablecloth/skirt over them and that cancels out the arrow chi. Rats! I was looking for tables with a drawer & a door for a little storage - one of the cats tends to pull tissues out of the box & shred them. Tablecloths are out too as all 4 of the cats love to pull them off tables, even with heavy things holding them down. Maybe plain round wood tables will work. Thanks for the reminder about the bed, I couldn't remember the reason but thought it was bad to have it aiming out the door. I'll have to check out the bagua for the room & see what section the cabinet is in. The skulls are behind glass & aren't really that visible, hopefully the 2' live green lizard with water pool & the cats' water fountain offset it a bit. Not to mention the 4 cats & the dog.
cheapcatMessage #304 - 07/17/08 05:12 PMCongrats on the picture swap, it seems to be working!
chicgMessage #305 - 07/17/08 05:12 PMHi again, Thanks for the info Keriamon. What's weird is I had the issue with being in a 7 house, and you gave all these tips involving changing my number...my landlord doesn't even have a house number up! I live in an apartment above his garage, so its like my own private little building. There is no number on my door, and none on his either. Can I fake my address? I might put a 9 somewhere on my door or on my deck which leads to my door. My only door opens to my deck, and the stairs to go down are right there too. I'm probably going to do red thread at the bottom of those. I do happen to have red flowers on either side of my door, that's good. I can't put up wallpaper, and I like a very minimilist look so all these crafts and corners and whatnot will be hard for me, but I also love to experiment with decor and I have loads of ideas from magazines that I love, so I'll figure out something. I like simple painted canvas and fabric panels, so maybe I'll experiment with making something myself. I still have to do some research though, I'm planning a huge fundraiser this weekend and I'll have time to focus after that is over. I also have some rocks on my bookshelves already. Phoenix - you sound very much like me. I used to be super outgoing and now I find myself at home a lot. One of my goals this year was to get out and do more, and I have been accomplishing that but not as much as i'd like. Part of the reason is that many of my friends are getting married and coupled up and don't show interest in hanging out with the single friends anymore, so I'm trying to improve my relationships with my friends that don't do that. ok, thanks for all the info here.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #306 - 07/17/08 06:54 PMWell I finally decided to buckle down and sketch out my apartment. It's not quite a perfect square but close. When I sketched out the bagua( without putting walls or anything in) the first glaring thing was the fact that until a couple days ago I had all of my recycling and my garbage tote( the one I put the kitchen and other garbages in till DH can get them to the dumpster) in the career section  . No wonder we've been having such troubles with DH's job! And the only other thing in that section was a yet another tote of a jumbled mess of junk that we need to go through. In fact that entire front wall of the dining room is filled with empty boxes from moving, things we need to get rid of and a general tossing section for anything that was leaving the apartment. With the little things that I have done DH has agreed that things have changed, not without a fight at times but it happened. I think before we do anymore de-cluttering and decorating, we are going to sit down and plan out what we are attempting to do.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:57:30 GMT -5
keriamonMessage #307 - 07/17/08 07:37 PMTablecloths are out too as all 4 of the cats love to pull them off tables, even with heavy things holding them down. Maybe plain round wood tables will work. My old cat used to love to hide UNDER the table with a tablecloth on it. See, he wasn't supposed to be in the house and whenever he could sneak in, he often hid out under the table where we couldn't see him. LOL. I have seen round tables with drawers. However, I saw them at a nice furniture store like Bombay, so you might have to shell out. But if you really need a bedside cabinet and can't do a tablecloth, just go ahead and do it. I don't think it's that harmful, if you don't have health or sleeping problems right now. Not all "bad" feng shui stuff is bad at the same level. Some is mildly bad and some is terrible. And some is worse bad depending on if you are weakened in the area where it's going to get you anyways. So if one of you is an insomniac, yeah, okay, try the round table. But if not, square is probably going to be okay. It's like germs; if you're not weak, most of them never cause you to get sick. You could also do what the feng shui lady did as a cure-all, which is to get construction paper and cut out hexagonal pieces in each bagua color, then tape them all together with the yellow in the middle. She calls it a bagua daisy. Make one of those and then put it under your bedside cabinet or tape it up under the top. That's like a crystal in that it cures everything. Marti, while you can't really hide anything from feng shui, I do believe that stuff that's out of sight is less powerful. So if you can put the trash or recycling under the sink, it's not so bad as when it's sitting out. Prosperity is an absolute never-put-a-trash-can-there thing, but the other sections are somewhat less touchy. You can also get red paper and put it in the bottom of the can or put a red sticker on the outside bottom, or tape around the top or, best yet, a red trashcan! This separates the trash from the section, so that you are not symbolically throwing away your career (or trashing it up). Trashcans with lids are best. And I would think that a metal, mirror-finished trashcan would work as well as a red one in that it reflects chi away from it on all sides. It's like a chi-repellant trash can! Doh, our ugly, nasty trash can is in the career section of our kitchen AND I've got a lot of stuff piled up next to it to burn! Guess I better burn when I get home and put something red in the trashcan (and I think I will replace it with better when I can afford to; like I said, it's permanently dirty and ugly). I think before we do anymore de-cluttering and decorating, we are going to sit down and plan out what we are attempting to do.
Not only plan, write it down. The I like a very minimilist look shui book recommended drawing out your house, putting your bagua over it, and then analyze section by section what you needed to do--write that down--and what you needed to fix it--write down the stuff you want to bring into your life. This is very similar to putting wishes in boxes; it helps get your intention out there. Gets the chi activated a little bit, which can help you get rolling. Watch out you're not like me putting up nails and hanging pictures wide awake at 10pm last night! I didn't get calmed down enough to sleep until midnight, but I haven't been unusually tired today, which is funny since normally I get 9 hours of sleep, not 7. I like a very minimilist look Have you ever noticed that churches and meditation areas are also pretty minimalist when you get right down to it? I like simple painted canvas and fabric panels, A good way to get color without painting or papering the walls. Also helps act as insulation against heat/cold and outside noise. Can I fake my address? I might put a 9 somewhere on my door or on my deck which leads to my door. That might work. Worth a try. That's my motto about the vast majority of this stuff; if you're just moving around stuff you already own, it costs you nothing but
keriamonMessage #308 - 07/17/08 07:38 PMtime--and you need to take that stuff down and clean it anyways! And even if you buy some stuff, you don't have to spend a lot of money and it's amazing how happy people can become with just a little something new. Even if you don't believe in feng shui, you can't deny the boost you get when you have a space you just feel is pretty and cozy!
raisin mountaineerMessage #309 - 07/17/08 09:13 PMThis is such a great thread-- I'm trying to catch up-- but am only partway through all the posts. Anyway, I want to tell my story about a picture. I was single for a very, very long time. In my 40s, I started to work on the reasons, inside and out, for my singleness, and to be open to the possibility of a good relationship. For the next several years, I was still single. How frustrating. Now, I didn't notice it at the time (I just noticed it based on this thread), but all of my pictures were of landscapes, or of single items. Really beautiful things that I loved, but they were very much about fierceness, wilderness, or stark beauty. And that was what my life was about-- the outdoors, fitness, solitary activities. One day I found an old print of the Holy Family in a second hand store. Turn of the century, soft focus, very Catholic-looking, with a handsome Joseph with a beard and Mary and the Baby with his halo. I really, really loved the frame. The FRAME, mind you. I refused to admit I liked the picture. I bought it with the full intent of putting another picture in the frame. I got the picture home, and hung it on my wall. I liked the look of the Joseph, right? I liked the idea of the family, even though I'd been told by doctors I would never have my own kid. I kept thinking "I really need to find a different picture for that cool frame" but somehow I never did. One day a couple of years later, I met a handsome man with a beard. And (this is the way shocking part) one year later, we had a son. The doctors were surprised-- I was 47, plus all of the physical troubles that should have prevented this miracle. I can't say the picture made it happen. But I remember how I felt when I looked at that family, and how I thought I didn't deserve or wouldn't ever get to have that-- a partner and child. And yet, how I allowed myself to feel so happy when I looked at them. I think that happiness translated itself to desire and intention, and that eventually, intention became real. I think that is what feng shui is about. I just put a goofy pair of toys (male and female firefighter dolls) by each other in the "relationship" sector of my office. Every time I look at them I remember my intention to have a good relationship. And I think it is the physical reminder of the intention that does a lot of the work. So, FWIW, there's my story.
cheapcatMessage #310 - 07/17/08 09:16 PMI have seen round tables with drawers. However, I saw them at a nice furniture store like Bombay, so you might have to shell out. But if you really need a bedside cabinet and can't do a tablecloth, just go ahead and do it. I don't think it's that harmful, if you don't have health or sleeping problems right now. Shelling out isn't going to happen; we ripped the nasty old grey carpet out of the bedroom before we moved in 5 years ago & are still on an area rug over linoleum (why it's in the bedroom I don't think I want to know). It's a small 1927 bungalow with 2 small closets so I try to add storage wherever possible. I'd rather have a cabinet than a plain table since the shredder-cat goes after books & papers besides kleenex; anything left out gets perforated at the minimum. She took 1/2 the cover off a magazine overnight & made it disappear - it didn't even turn up in the litter. The 17" size is just frustrating since my mom found 2 tables for $50 that are perfect except 20" wide. I think she might have a few small round sewing cabinets around the house, so that could work. Mom's amazing - she found a corner bookshelf by the side of the road & it perfectly matches the wood in most of the house. Usually if we're looking for furniture we tell Mom & she finds it cheap within the month, sometimes free.
chicgMessage #311 - 07/17/08 09:32 PMRaisen - What a lovely story! Congrats on your marriage and child. It's scary that you just described all of the art in my place, I'm big on photography so I have a lot of blown up scenery images- stark and beautiful, but it's a common comment that my travel photos don't have me in them. I have photos up of me with friends, but, well....I'm okay in the friend department, it's the relationship department that I'd like to improve. Anywhooo, I'll keep trying to check up here, I'm learning a lot. I really need to figure out these corners...my place is a square so it shouldn't be too hard. My garbage/recycling is in a corner, lord help me if it's in the wrong place!
keriamonMessage #312 - 07/17/08 09:44 PMTell your mom I need two metal-mesh spring rocking chairs, LOL. I have a request in to my mom for them too! Have you pulled back the linoleum to see if there's hardwood under there? 1920's houses were hardwood almost always throughout. Carpet came in in the 40's and 50's and everyone covered it over--sometimes in multiple layers. Oh, the joy of finding a hardwood floor under all that! Here's something you can do if you're short on money for carpet: pull up the linoleum to the subflooring and paint the subflooring with porch paint. My mother and I did this with her sunroom, only we painted it gray, then put down scotch tape in a grid, then took a quart of a different shade of gray, watered it down, and sponged it on. Repeat with another gray and a brown. We pulled up the tape and voila, stone tile floor with gray grout. A gallon of porch paint should do you for the first coating in most rooms and a quart will per color will probably do for the sponging--like I said, you water it down some. Those layers actually dry pretty fast because they're thin. Painting the first layer and taping was one day and painting all the other layers and pulling up the tape was day number two. We used an eggshell finish for all the paints but one, and it was matte. Made it really look like dusty stone. My mother also did this in her kitchen, only she used high-gloss black paint and made a backsplash behind the stove that looks just like her real black ceramic tile around the rest of the kitchen. And I think it is the physical reminder of the intention that does a lot of the work. Actually, Raisin, if you ask someone that does feng shui, they will tell you that intention is actually almost all there is to feng shui. Things aren't "bad" because they are evil, but because they send the wrong message to you. If you look at a sad clown picture all the time, it's likely to depress you. A psychiatrist could probably do a really good job "feng shuing" someone's house because a lot of what feng shui says is bad is what a psychiatrist will tell you is bad for your mental health. I mean, if a psychiatrist came into our house and looked around at all our weapons, he'd be very alert for us to talk in therapy about arguments, conflict, or if we come off as aggressive or bullying. He'd see hanging up weapons as a subconscious attempt to defend ourselves against whatever slings and arrows we see in our world. A feng shui consultant is going to see that and say, wow, all this stuff can make you argumentative! So, in reality, chi and our subconscious brains are pretty much the same thing! Our houses reflect our subconscious, and if we want to change our lives, changing our house changes that message we hear in the background all the time. I'm glad you got a family. I hope you know nothing is impossible in your life now. Whether God or feng shui or your own intention gets it for you!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:58:02 GMT -5
raisin mountaineerMessage #313 - 07/17/08 09:49 PMI like someone's idea, a few pages back, of putting objects in groups you'd like to be in-- twos for couples, threes for family. I have actually done this, having become aware of how my environment can create circumstances in my life. Our fireplace mantel is kind of a clutter catcher, but my husband doesn't want to move any of it. So the two little ceramic bears are set up with the South American bird figure; the mexican wedding-couple-skeletons are set up with a little white bear fetish. The china teacup is next to the Marilyn Monroe votive candle (don't ask). So even if your photos are very stark (and it sounds like you and I have similar taste) maybe you have other things you can put together, and then you will know what they mean. Again, I think it's all about the intention. Oh, and I forgot-- before, when I was alone, I found rocks in the shapes of hearts, and I brought them home and placed them on the exterior corners of my house, all around. Of course, I left them there when I moved, and I rented out the house, and my renters are divorcing, so maybe that didn't work so well!
raisin mountaineerMessage #314 - 07/17/08 09:53 PMHmm. So f.e.t.i.s.h. is a bad word? I was using it in the sense of being a little bear "figurine with spiritual significance." How rude of me!
keriamonMessage #315 - 07/17/08 09:53 PMI have photos up of me with friends, but, well....I'm okay in the friend department, it's the relationship department that I'd like to improve. Friends can help you find someone--most people meet through mutual friends--but you have to spend time with them. Make sure those friend pictures are of good friends (if it's an ex friend, toss it) and put them in your friend corner of your house or of each room where the walls allow. The holy family is obviously a good picture to have as well, lol. And here, did I not tell you St. Joseph is good to put up? And have you ever confessed to a friend that you feel isolated and sort of lonely and you don't want to anymore? If I were your friend and knew that, I would be calling you and e-mailing you asking you to go out often and sort of nagging you into it. As it is now, they may feel like you want to be left alone. They can't be hooking you up with men if they think you like living alone. Also, if you feel like your married friends aren't social enough, find a single's club or something like that to get involved in. I met my husband doing re-enacting. If you have a hobby, find a social group that does it and go out and do it. That way if you meet a man, you all at least have one thing in common. It sounds like you are intellectual, so maybe a book group? Barnes and Nobles and similar bookstores usually have a list of book groups that meet there. Coffee shops, especially independent ones, are another good place to find information on social groups. Someone else on this board said she was having a good time at Toast Masters.
keriamonMessage #316 - 07/17/08 10:02 PMOf course, I left them there when I moved, and I rented out the house, and my renters are divorcing, so maybe that didn't work so well! LOL. There's anchoring your love, grounding it, making it rock solid, then there's rocky love. What you have when you have the heart rocks matters! Before my husband and I got married, I asked him something about a clearing on our property and he said that the prior owners had been going to build a house back there. I asked why they sold. "They got divorced." I looked at him (he and his ex got divorced in this same house; he stayed and she left). He said, "Yeah, I know. I said something to another friend and she asked me if maybe the place was cursed." I wouldn't say it's cursed, but thankfully we do have intentions on moving, when the time becomes ripe, so maybe we will get out before something happens. He and his ex lived there 10 years, I think. So it's not immediate.
2007debtheavenMessage #317 - 07/17/08 10:08 PMRaisin Mountaineer Thank you, what a beautiful story. I'm so happy things worked out the way they did. :-)
raisin mountaineerMessage #318 - 07/17/08 10:17 PMI'm glad things worked out like this, too. But I am convinced (or I hope I am) that if things had gone some other direction, that I would also be content with my life. I realize, for example, that it really is a miracle that I was able to get pregnant at age 46 and carry to term at 47. But I believe that had that not happened, something else would have-- the opportunity to adopt, the opportunity to nurture others and be creative in some other way. If my sweetie and I had not met (and it was total chance that we did), something else would have come my way. (I am not a believer in one "perfect path" for one's life, if you can't guess.) The work I did over the last 9 years is stuff I wish I'd done in my 20's-- believing that I was not unworthy of happiness has made such a difference in my friendships, relationships, etc. My choices are different now, and different choices bring different results. I think feng shui is about making deliberate choices, quite within our power to make them, and then paying attention to other things that change around us as a result, or even as coincidence-- but we notice them because we're paying attention.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:58:15 GMT -5
2007debtheavenMessage #319 - 07/17/08 10:21 PMBut I believe that had that not happened, something else would have I like this way of thinking, and on a good day, I share it, lol. I think I'm about the same age as you, I'm 48.
raisin mountaineerMessage #320 - 07/17/08 10:44 PMI agree with keriamon about acknowledging what you want in your life. One of the hardest things for me was to say "I want to be in a good relationship with a good man who cares about me, and I believe that it is possible." I was able to say the first half of that sentence about 15 years ago, but it took another 10 years for me to say the second half. And then I looked for concrete ways to be open to the possibility. I think if I was single right now, I would be able to say this still-- that it is possible. And it is possible for you. Just tell yourself each day: it is possible. And then look for the possibilities. I will agree with you-- it is possible!
keriamonMessage #321 - 07/17/08 10:56 PMOne of the hardest things for me was to say "I want to be in a good relationship with a good man who cares about me, and I believe that it is possible." I was the opposite. From about the time I was 12, I knew I was going to have a soul mate and get married. It's all I ever wanted out of life. I can remember being a teenager and figuring if I met someone in college, we could get married as soon as we graduated and that would just be 6 years from now, LOL. What's even funnier, I ended up going to an all girl's college. I knew my husband would be older than me (boy, didn't guess by how much, though!), that he'd have a brother and sister, and that his father would either be dead or die shortly after we got together. All is true (his dad died when he was 8). I also know that I am going to outlive him by many years. And that I will have a second husband which I will also outlive, but will be married to for quite a bit longer. And I think I have already met this second husband. I've never told anybody this, because what can you do when you know this sort of thing? I can't say that I WISH this on my husband, because hell, I knew I'd lose my husband early before I even MET my husband. I think I know this as a form of protection for me. Because I love with my whole heart. When my husband was overseas for two month back when we were just living together, I got so depressed I could barely get out of bed. What would I be like if he was never coming back? I think I have to know this stuff to mentally prepare for it. And to know there's something else on the other side of the tragedy. Just got to keep going and life will keep happening. Everything else in my life is a mystery, so I'm just riding along, looking around, trying to make the best of all of it. I just feel like I came here to be with him, and that all the rest of the time is just filler. So I can make of the filler whatever I want.
2007debtheavenMessage #322 - 07/17/08 11:07 PMWoah, Keriamon, you have seriously creeped me out there. I can't argue with your psychic abilities because I believe in that and I'm pretty psychic too. What I can say, though, is that DH's mom was 23 years younger than his dad, and she went first. (She was "young", he was "old", she doted on him like you couldn't believe and spent all her time dealing with his health issues. By the time she finally addressed her own, she had Stage 4 cancer. This was 10 years ago in the UK. My college boyfriend's mom had the exact same diagnosis at the same time, but she was in the US and got different treatment, and lived another eight years.) But I don't think you're basing your thoughts on age. Still, do remember, you don't know for sure what the future holds. Even if you think you do, even if I basically believe you, I do need to say, you cannot be sure. Maybe THAT is why you're feng shuing with a vengeance. Maybe you will change the course of things. I can't help wondering who the second husband is. I'm guessing another Medieval friend. That probably creeped me out more than anything, lol. ETA: I was a "scaredy cat" when I was little. I remember thinking, it's not FAIR that I'm little and scared and I have to sleep alone, and my parents are old, so they're not scared anymore, but THEY get to sleep together. NOT FAIR! I remember wanting to get married so I didn't ever have to sleep alone anymore. Messed up the first time around, but I got it right the second time.
2007debtheavenMessage #323 - 07/17/08 11:42 PMTo get back to decluttering (although I can't wait to hear from you about your last comment, Keriamon). DS3 is back from camp, and I'm home tomorrow, so we have a three-day weekend to hopefully make a significant dent in the mess that is his room. It is frankly much worse than I remembered. He's the youngest so the three older kids constantly give him their old stuff and even if he doesn't want it, he doesn't have the heart to refuse. He's only 10 so he doesn't have much decluttering stamina, but I hope to go through his toys/games by the end of the weekend. That would make room on his shelves to clear off the piles on his desk and floor before we go on vacation. Then when we come back we can go through his books and school stuff and hopefully his desk. (It's his Grandpa's old desk from Scotland Yard, it has a million drawers, I may well lose heart by then and leave the desk for later.) That's what I get for leaving DS3's room for nearly two years. (We did a lot of work in the house last year so I didn't do my "regular" decluttering in the kids' rooms.) Plus DS3 is his dad's son, he's a packrat. I have to break it up into doable tasks with a small reward at the end.
cheapcatMessage #324 - 07/18/08 02:16 AMthe mexican wedding-couple-skeletons Hey! We used Mexican Day of the Dead bride & groom figures on our wedding cake! My sister wanted to "take the creepy people off the cake" & I had to tell her that it took me a long time to find them. The groom is actually a mariachi trumpet player; I took off the trumpet & his hand curved around the bride's hand, talk about meant to be! We just had our 6th wedding anniversay, it's our 11th year together. Both DH & I don't think it feels like that long at all.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:58:46 GMT -5
cheapcatMessage #325 - 07/18/08 03:12 AMHave you pulled back the linoleum to see if there's hardwood under there? 1920's houses were hardwood almost always throughout. Carpet came in in the 40's and 50's and everyone covered it over--sometimes in multiple layers. Oh, the joy of finding a hardwood floor under all that! Um, yeah, about that. We thought there was hardwood under the vinyl flooring in the kitchen, as we could see the vinyl, the plywood it was stuck to, & then wood underneath when we lifted the heating vents. Unfortunately we took up all of the plywood & found really old linoleum stuck to the hardwood. It was like a thin plastic layer stuck down with tar & it took 45 minutes to clear 1 square foot off the floor & not very well. The kitchen is at least 15' each way plus a narrow pantry with cabinets & the sink. We leveled the subfloor, put the plywood back down, rented a compressor & power nailer & installed prefinished red oak that has a 25 year warranty. At least the 10% Home Depot discount paid for the compound miter saw, and thank god we found out that it's $12 to rent an undercut jamb saw. It took another 45 minutes to saw through 1 doorframe base by hand & there are 7 doors into the kitchen (dining room, bedroom, bedroom, basement, bathroom, pantry, mudroom door). That was our first of many "working vacations" since we got here. Anyway, the stuff in the bedroom is also glued directly to the crunchy old hardwood & doesn't want to come up without a fight. DH really doesn't want to try to rip it up, so we'll eventually get carpet, though I'm not sure how long that will last with the furry mob. Back to decluttering - I can't wait to get rid of the old safe we inherited from DH's dad. It's on his side of the bed under the big fugly (it was free) table, so once it goes we don't need to keep the stupid big table & my itty bitty table that's so low I have to hang off the bed to see the alarm clock. I guess we'll put it on craigslist if no one else in the family wants it by the weekend - we'll deliver! We have a bunch of cheezy knives & swords from one of DH's friends that we need to get out of a closet, since DH finally sorted through what he wants to keep & let go, yay! He still has an extra drumset in the basement that 4 different friends were "really going to buy" over the last year. It's been on craigslist & ebay before, but I think he wanted too much for it, which was silly since he won the stupid thing for free at work. I've donated 2 bags of stuff we haven't worn in ages & sewed a new cover for Miss Puppy-the-chewer's bed out of 3 pairs of sadly too small old jeans. Unfortunately Miss Butt has already chewed a hole in the new cover & unstuffed part of the bed again, so one more attempt to fix it & then she's living on big towels. She has bones, balls, chew toys, snacks, etc, but the bed is her target. It was only $15 on clearance - I can't see spending $40+ for something she'll trash in a week. Good thing she's a cute mutt.
raisin mountaineerMessage #326 - 07/18/08 02:13 PMSo, yes, back to decluttering. Reading this thread I have learned a couple of things-- first, feng shui applies to your whole property, not just the house, and if the house has an L shape, you fill in the empty space to do the bagua. Also, that sharp corners are not the best idea. Last night I found 27 things to throw away without much trouble at all-- some of those items were little bits of candy wrappers etc., but nonetheless... So, I have two plans and a question. First, we have a storage shed on our property (the "casita") that is in the back right corner of the property (the marriage bagua, if I have it right). It is stuffed to the gills with my "stuff" that I brought with me when I moved into DH's house. So, I need to finally get on cleaning it out-- This is especially important because it has a lot of stuff in it that I "might want if I have to set up house by myself again." I realize that by holding on to that stuff I"m leaving a big "out" -- not only that, this is not stuff I necessarily love and would enjoy using in that unhappy event, or even if something in the house broke and we needed a replacement. Second plan is corollary to the first-- one of the first things to go will be my big mission-style bed frame, which is currently taking up space in the casita. It will never fit into this house, my DH doesn't like it, and I have always been not-so-sure about the sharp corners and the vertical bars at the head and foot of the bed. I'm keeping it partly because I spent a lot of money on it. This thread suggests my intuition is right. Here's my question: in the back left corner of the porch, which is included if I fill in the bagua to make a big rectangle, we have a bird feeder. My inclination is that by exhibiting generosity in our money area, we're showing that we are open to having more coming in. But am I wrong on this? (I've noticed a pinch in our finances lately, probably due to increased food prices, but I haven't analyzed it at this point.) This is fun!
abundanceandprosperityMessage #327 - 07/18/08 02:29 PMGood steps rasin! I find it helps to schedule a day for the charity to do a pick up at our house. That motivates me to get everything sorted and ready for their collection without letting it drag out. Unfortunately this month they can't pick my junk up until August!
keriamonMessage #328 - 07/18/08 02:29 PMI can't help wondering who the second husband is. I'm guessing another Medieval friend. That probably creeped me out more than anything, lol. Yeah, we were coming back from an event and it was like someone just blurted it out in the car. I'm kind of weirded out by it myself, because, you know, that's weird--to be married to one person and think, well, someday, I think I will marry that person. Hell, I don't even really know him! I need to tell myself, okay, it's important for me to know this stuff so I don't get blindsided where it hurts the most, but let me just put this paper bag over my head for the time being and act like I know nothing. My stepfather is having surgery today and I haven't heard from my mother yet, and they started 3 1/2 hours ago. I'm getting worried about that, because I didn't have a good feeling about it before. I hope I'm wrong about that, that they've just needed to take some time to repair some muscle that he tore. But when my mother had surgery several months back, I kept forgetting when she was having it, forgot about it the day she had it. No worry about it at all. They had a surgery before his, so maybe that got delayed and he didn't go in on time.
keriamonMessage #329 - 07/18/08 03:00 PMPlus DS3 is his dad's son, he's a packrat. I have to break it up into doable tasks with a small reward at the end. When I was a kid, I used to get motivated when other people helped me. I hated to have to clean or anything like that alone. If someone was helping, it didn't feel like such a big project. Now, though, I find I clean better when my husband is not around. I don't even care to do yard chores with him around. I think maybe that's because he never gets started until 1 or 2 in the afternoon and if I'm going to do manual labor, it's got to be before noon that I start, because I start running out of steam around 1 or 2. So I get all huffy when my husband wants to go out and sink fence poles when I'm ready to sit on my butt for the rest of the day. But he's just the opposite; sleeps later than me and then has to eat a leisurely breakfast and play a game or three before he's woke up enough to do something; I get out of bed maybe an hour later than during the workweek, and that's when I want to get stuff done. Sometimes I encourage him to go do a re-enactment without me so I can get up early and get to cleaning without worrying about waking him up! First, we have a storage shed on our property (the "casita") that is in the back right corner of the property (the marriage bagua, if I have it right). It is stuffed to the gills with my "stuff" that I brought with me when I moved into DH's house. So, I need to finally get on cleaning it out-- This is especially important because it has a lot of stuff in it that I "might want if I have to set up house by myself again." I realize that by holding on to that stuff I"m leaving a big "out" -- not only that, this is not stuff I necessarily love and would enjoy using in that unhappy event, or even if something in the house broke and we needed a replacement. Yep, yep! I read the first sentence and thought, looks like she's brought literal baggage into the marriage. Then when you said you were keeping it in case you got divorced, I said, ooo, mental baggage as well. No trust that you deserve to stay married. So you are very right; toss it all. If there's a bunch there, Goodwill or DAV might could send a truck out to pick it up from you. I'm keeping it partly because I spent a lot of money on it. Sell it on Craigslist and use the money you get to buy something you will actually enjoy. Right now it's an expensive boulder in your way and completely useless. It's once-upon-a-time value means nothing now because it has no real value for you. Alot of people have this very same problem. It helps to think about money as buying you stuff that makes you happy or has use in your life. Okay, a refrigerator isn't going to make me happy (haven't got room for a super fridge), but it's going to be useful. Likewise, my wooden banners have no use, but they make me happy. So money well enough spent on either item. But I'm going to take some jewelry to the pawn shop this weekend because I don't wear it anymore. I don't care what was paid for it originally (it's all gifts); I want some money now, and more importantly I want it out of my jewelry box because I can't get to the stuff that I do wear because of the tangle. Sometimes it's just best to say hey, I admit it, I wasted my money buying this X which I don't like and/or is not useful and cut your losses (I've had to do this too! Not every purchase is a keeper). You are not going to get any money back out of the bed if you don't sell it, but it will continue to be in your way. Here's my question: in the back left corner of the porch, which is included if I fill in the bagua to make a big rectangle, we have a bird feeder. My inclination is that by exhibiting generosity in our money area, we're showing that we are open to having more coming in. But am I wrong on this? (I've noticed a pinch in our finances lately, probably due to increased food prices, but I haven't analyzed it at this point.) Are you missing your prosperity corner of your house, which this porch would be part of if y
keriamonMessage #330 - 07/18/08 03:01 PMyou evened up the house? If that's the case, then it needs more than the usual amount of work done to it. One thing you can do to make outdoor sections a part of the house in order to fill in a missing corner is to bury a red string around the perimeter of the space to intend to enclose it and make it part of your house. If this is all porch, you could also paint the underside of the porch red if that would be easier (or, if it would match the house, paint the whole porch red--shade of red does not matter). You are being charitable to the birds, but I could also see that as your money keeps flying out of your hands. It may be that the feeder is not a problem, but the fact that that section is not properly incorporated. But can you put up bird houses? It would be better to allow them to nest there because hey, they have nest eggs. You can still feed, but they will come out, eat, then go back in their house, so they're not flying away, you see. Water is the best element for prosperity, so maybe an ornamental fountain or koi pond? A bird bath can work too, but it's better if the water is flowing, so best to have some little gurgling fountain in the middle of the bath. Also, anything that symbolizes water works, so there's the place for any collections of lighthouses, boats, nautical pictures, seashells, etc. beach and ocean stuff. Purple is the color of choice with gold being a good alternate. Mirrors and anything reflective and crystal are all water symbols too. If you use a mirror, just make sure it reflects something pretty; if it reflects a mess, your messes (and related troubles) will double. I would not use a mirror on the outside of the house facing away from it in this section because you will be forcing this section away, not bringing it in; anything reflective needs to face back towards the house. Make sure you have some furniture on this porch so that you can linger there if you want to; if it's not where you can sit down, it will not feel like a part of the house.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:59:00 GMT -5
2007debtheaven
Message #331 - 07/18/08 03:24 PM
I love how we keep encouraging each other to keep going! This is such a great thread!
DS and I went through all five shelves of toys/games/puzzles this afternoon, a bag of costumes, plus a big box of old games/puzzles in the basement. (Yay! That box was on my list for fall!) We still have two storage cubes to go through, but DS has HAD it for today. (It took us about three hours.) I want DH to OK that stuff so I don't hear about some particular item for the rest of my life, and I'll take it all to the Red Cross lady this weekend.
raisin mountaineer
Message #332 - 07/18/08 03:27 PM
Thanks for the input! We actually use the porch as an outdoor living room in the summer months-- it's a real redneck rumpus room, with a couch and recliner-- we spend most daylight hours out there watching the kid play. I bought one rug (recycled pop bottles) for it and am going to get a second one so I don't have to look at the concrete. My DH actually painted the ceiling of the porch red and purple, so we have that color going on (have I mentioned that he's basically a very clean-living hippie?). And the flickers nest in the aspen trees near the porch.
In the casita I have a bowl of seashells collected on a happy trip-- I will think of how to incorporate them into that part of the house. And I'll think about the water feature--
I have been wanting to make the porch nicer (re-cover the ratty couch cushions, get some color coordination going)-- so I'll check out some fabrics in the colors you mention.
Oooh, I can't wait for the weekend.
keriamon
Message #333 - 07/18/08 03:33 PM
I just heard from my mother; my stepfather is out of surgery and they got the hematoma (blood in the muscle) out, but the doctor thought it looked odd to her, so she's sent samples off to check for cancer. Said sometimes, if you have cancer and get injured, you can get hematomas like this that don't want to go away on their own. So back to worrying about him. We'll know Monday or Tuesday of next week.
abundanceandprosperity
Message #334 - 07/18/08 03:41 PM
Sorry Keriamon that you have to wait and worry. I hope for the best outcome and will keep him in my prayers. I definitely know what waiting feels like. Right after I found out I am finally preggers I had a bleed. So far everything seems to be okay but it has been over a week now of testing and waiting for results. If everything is clear in today's test (find out next week) we can stop worrying.
2007debtheaven
Message #335 - 07/18/08 03:41 PM
Keriamon, I hope you get good news about your stepdad.
2007debtheaven
Message #336 - 07/18/08 03:42 PM
Futureplanning, I'm thinking of you too. I hope all is well.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:59:31 GMT -5
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #337 - 07/18/08 03:51 PMLast night was fun. I sat down with DH and we started to plan. It lasted a whole five minutes before he tuned out and started playing his game. When I said "Dear, I would like your input" all I got was, "I don't care what you do, just don't make it so we can't pay the bills next month." Frustrating hubby. But he did give me permission to get rid of his stuff that I don't like. Minus the Star Wars and Monopoly stuff. But that stuff doesn't take up much room so no problems there. Goal for this weekend is to go through one more of my totes at my parents place and get at a box ready for the mission. We have to go over there to do laundry this week( it's 85 here and I am out of clean shorts) and I really want to get all my stuff here. Well the stuff that I want to keep anyways. DH is trying to talk me out of keeping my Zoot Suit dancing cat and my kung fu dancing hamster. If he can find space for his old textbooks I can find space for my dancing critters. We may be getting rid of some of our furniture. We never use the dining room for it's intended purpose. We eat dinner at the coffee table because the dining room table is just too big for the two of us. The fact that it's missing screws and about to fall apart doesn't help either. Thinking about getting a table that I can use for my stuff and then if we have company we can clear it off and eat there. Right now I need a spot that I can use my computer( it's hard to concentrate on being creative when the only place you can use the laptop without banging your elbows is in the super comfy chair that looks outside, too many distractions) and do some of the eighty zillion craft projects I have started.
Marti loves her lil monkeyMessage #338 - 07/18/08 03:55 PMKeriamon and Futureplanning, I hope everything is ok. Both of you are in my thoughts.
cheapcatMessage #339 - 07/18/08 04:10 PMI hope you both get good news soon . May the waiting to know be the worst of it.
keriamonMessage #340 - 07/18/08 04:18 PMSorry to hear about your health problems too, Future. Some women spot or bleed a bit every month, even when they're pregnant, so maybe you are one of those. In fact, some women bleed so much, they think they're on their period and don't know they're pregnant! I do hope your red tape is still on your stairs?
keriamonMessage #341 - 07/18/08 04:28 PMIf he can find space for his old textbooks I can find space for my dancing critters. I'm going to have to review my book, but there's actually a good corner for animated toys. Besides in your child section if you want children. Be sure to write down (um, in a feng shui journal, as opposed to here, lol) what you want--you want a place to put your laptop, you want to get rid of the rickety dining room table. That helps you focus your efforts and concentrate on finding what it is that you need. Like me and the rolling cabinet at work. Well, actually, I got that before I could write it down, but I have patio chairs and bookcases down on a list of things I would like to come into my life at a reasonable price. Depending on the overall size of your dining room, could you section it into two different areas? For instance, if it connects to the kitchen, put in a small 4-seater breakfast table so you have a real place to eat, then use a screen to separate that eating section from the other side, where you can put a computer desk and/or desks for projects. I have personally found I prefer a desk to a table. Tables are so large stuff has a tendency to scoot out of reach. A desk keeps everything closer, feels more business-like, and almost always has drawers for storage. Can't ever have enough drawers.
2007debtheavenMessage #342 - 07/18/08 05:15 PMMoney update I almost forgot! I spoke to the insurance expert today, his report got lost in the mail. He approved us for nearly 7200, which is most of the 11,100 we spent in the recent patio / basement flooding episode. I'm THRILLED about that! We should get the money within the next few weeks. It will go straight towards the loan we're carrying for all that stuff. And DH's secretary's dad got several offers for my old gold, the best offer was 2200. I'm going to sit on it for the weekend but I think I'll take it. So I'll just keep decluttering! ETA: We finished the two storage cubes, and I've taken everything to the Red Cross lady. So I've finished DS3's clothes and toys / games. His school stuff, bookshelves and desk are next, but probably not right away.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 2:59:45 GMT -5
abundanceandprosperity
Message #343 - 07/19/08 02:45 PM
That is great news 2007dh!
Thank you all for the well wishes. I am positive and keeping calm. Will update when I have news. And yes, the red tape is still on the stairs.
Have a great weekend.
2007debtheaven
Message #344 - 07/21/08 12:17 AM
FP
I'm glad the tape is still on the stairs. I'm thinking of you!
Keriamon
How's your stepdad doing?
I have decided to accept the best offer for the gold, 2200. I was pretty sure I would but I wanted the weekend to think about it. I sort of feel guilty about that stuff but I'll live with it.
I also feel that all this decluttering is finally bringing in the money, I feel very compelled to continue, but DS3 (10) has had more than enough after sorting through his clothes (before camp) and his toys/games/puzzles (after camp). At the end of the week we go away. When we come back I'll go through his school stuff.
I'll leave either his bookshelves or his desk for later. It's hard to push him because everybody but me (ie three older siblings and his dad) keeps pushing stuff at him, he's too kind to refuse it but you can't do a decluttering marathon with a 10YO.
abundanceandprosperity
Message #345 - 07/21/08 03:43 PM
Thanks ladies, your thinking has paid off. My tests came back very well and everything seems fine!
Marti loves her lil monkey
Message #346 - 07/21/08 04:15 PM
DH was laughing at me yesterday. We have the plans written down and stuck to the front door for what we want to get done. There is also my sketch of the bagua for the rooms. He was laughing because I was consulting the plans and the bagua drawing while decluttering the dining room. He likened me to a construction foreman. I didn't realize I was doing it but everytime something got moved I'd check the master plan and then the bagua drawing. But I am now the proud owner of a red recycling bin( just a simple red 30 gallon plastic tote) and it's in my wealth section. But that's because the door leading into the kitchen is in that section and I can toss the recyclables into the tote from the kitchen sink if I keep it there. We measured the dining room and it could be split into two( rather cramped) sections but there is one big thing in our way. The light fixture is smack dab in the middle of the room and there is no way that DH could manuver around it. It's at a weird height where I can see it just fine since it hangs down to about my eye level. But DH kept walking into it when we were moving in because it's below his eye level and the poor guy had a bruise on his chest from how many times he smacked into it. If I shorten the chain it's on then he'd still be walking into it just it would nail him in the forehead. So the plan has been altered( already and in bright pink) that we get a sturdier table and put a set of shelves so that I can easily reach them from the table.
But I have figured out an easy way of getting DH to help out. We both have problems getting things started. We can plan with the best of them but can't seem to take that first step. We are trying out something different. Instead saying that something needs to get done and planning it to death( our specialty), if one of us has an idea for some thing we take a baby step. We needed to get started on the dining room and the big thing in the way was we still have boxes and such from when we moved in. So I told myself I would break down five boxes. Well with us once someone starts something the other joins in. We ended up with all the boxes broken down, the former recycling corner got cleared and put into the new tote, and you can see the table again. We needed to get the coffee table cleaned up so DH took my dead flowers( I know, a big no-no) and tossed them out. When he did that I grabbed the bag I had started from cleaning off my nightstand and got the coffee table cleared up. Now we just need to stick with it.
Gmansmom
Message #347 - 07/21/08 08:26 PM
so here's my weekend update: I put my old bed (stored in the shed) on Craig's list and already have five offers-- guess I should have asked for more $$$, eh? oh well. I also put on a big bookshelf. I put my husband's excess box spring on freecycle (I want to just put it out on the curb but he says it's "too good to throw away." I think that a used box spring is well on nigh worthless, but maybe someone will want it.)
I also noticed while in the shed how much stuff I have that I haven't used in ages, and that I don't really see myself using in the next five years. So that's my new goal, to go through the shed slowly and get rid of things that are not going to be useful in the forseeable future.
I can understand why Flylady does the 27-fling thing. I had to stop myself from going into a full-on purge mode and ruining the weekend for the rest of my family. It also gets overwhelming really quickly. By limiting the time I spend doing it, I think I will do a better job than if I got too deep in-- at first I'm ready to throw everything, then after awhile I start double-guessing and put it all back. Better to throw a few things at a time and not look back.
I have some items that I have been carrying around through (at least) 20 distinct moves to new houses or apartments over the years, without any particular plan for their use or strong sentimental attachment. Grrr.
Gmansmom
Message #348 - 07/21/08 08:44 PM
oh-- I should note-- raisin mountaineer = gmansmom. Accidentally am signed on under a different name today.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 4, 2011 3:00:16 GMT -5
2007debtheavenMessage #349 - 07/21/08 09:52 PMFP I'm so happy for you! I hope everything continues to go well. Martivir Looks like you have made a lot of progress! RaisinMountaineer I was wondering about the nic, lol. You too, that was fast! I think you're wise about keeping a steady, sustainable rhythm. You'll feel great when the bed and box spring are gone, they're big items.
keriamonMessage #350 - 07/22/08 03:53 PMFuture, I'm so glad you and the baby are okay! Haven't heard back from my stepfather's tests yet, but when I talked to him Saturday, he was feeling a lot better. Said his leg felt better as soon as he woke up in recovery. But now it's my turn for damage control; I fell off my horse Sunday.
cheapcatMessage #351 - 07/22/08 04:41 PMkeriamon - are you OK? Your horse is pretty large from what I remember; hopefully you didn't break anything. I've had my nose broken when a horse swung his head to avoid the vet & a dewormer, 3 ribs broken when my stallion dumped me & then ran me over(riding bareback near a motorcycle trail isn't the best idea) & torn ACL & cartilage when a 17 hand young warmblood tripped & crushed me into the 2nd jump on an in-and-out(don't hop on clutzy young horses to help out a rushed trainer). A good riding book is "Centered Riding", if you don't already have it. There is a really good horsetraining book on the shelf at home, I'll have to check the name tonight. There is a shelf full that I'll probably still have after the decluttering. Did you have a lot of riding experience before you bought the horse?
keriamonMessage #352 - 07/22/08 05:19 PMNo, nothing broken. Just scraped up my left arm bad, my forehead a bit, and I'm sore. She's 16hh, so not a short horse to fall off of. And before I got on her, she was behaving so nicely. Not that she threw me, but she changed gaits on me unexpectedly. You know, most horses slow down because they get lazy. I had her in a slow jog-trot that was very nice and when I tried to steer her away from an electric pole (I thought she was going to run my leg into it, you know how some horses are bad to not realize their human is wider than they are at the sides) she switched over to a real trot (apparently she's a 4-gaited horse naturally; half Walker). If you've ever popped a clutch on a car, then you'll know what it was like for her to transition from that smooth gait into this crazy rough trot. I've trotted a lot, good at posting, all that stuff. If no one had been watching to know different, I'd have told you she broke into a canter. Don't know what kind of real trot she has, but boy, she is moving (her jog-trot moves at about the speed of many horses' regular trot). And up and down is one of those directions! So, between this sudden and very rough lurch forward, her turning too sharply away, starting uphill AND my stirrups were too short (didn't even think about that until afterwards), I lost my balance and went over the side on the left. I was the first person other than the trainer to ride her, so that may have been a lot of the problem. The trainer doesn't seem to RIDE her as much as we have to. My husband got on her later and he was living in her mouth. He said he felt like he was having to plough-rein her. The trainer said she seemed more relaxed with him on her than when she is on her (she's intimidated by our trainer; we think she sees her as the alpha of the herd, whereas my husband and I are only alpha over her; we have no other horses at home). And I could see that she did seem to look better when he was on her, but he had to actively drive her, and Jill doesn't seem to do that, or maybe she just makes it look more casual. But it may just be that she pays more attention to Jill because she is more nervous around her. She may be TOO relaxed with us riding. She has no focus; just rides all over the place. Jill also uses leg cues and my husband and I don't. My husband has only ever used them to get a horse to step over to line up at the rail before a joust. I've never used them, especially not to control direction while riding. So that's something we talked about afterwards and I think Jill's going to work with her mouth and neck reining a lot more and legs a lot less. And that may also be why we have to ride through her mouth a lot more; she's not getting leg signals from us that she gets from Jill. I had a couple of semesters' worth of riding lessons (English) when I was a teenager. We covered the basics of grooming and tacking up and then did trail rides and a lot of ring work. I've done the post without stirrups thing, flying lead changes, even jumped small jumps on several occasions (I like jumping). I've only ridden some friends' horses a few times since then. My husband constantly brags on how well I ride, what a good, natural seat I have. BUT there's a difference between riding well and handling a horse well. I've only ever been on school horses (18 and 22! years old, respectively) or borrowed horses who were beyond well trained. My husband doesn't feel like he's a good rider, but he's handled green horses before, including drafts even bigger than our baby, and he knows how to handle them. So he managed to stay on when he was riding her, but he was also very careful not to let her get the jump on him and change over to that fast trot. He was watching for it and was pulling her back when she tried to go into it. He's going to go ride her Friday and probably most Fridays between now and her next month of training. Of course our trainer will be riding her (my husband said he expects the baby will get her butt wore out this week because our trainer seemed pretty
keriamonMessage #353 - 07/22/08 05:19 PMembarrassed that she did so poorly with us on her after she's been bragging how good she was; although she was giving Jill attitude when Jill got on her after I fell off and Jill had to work with her for about half an hour before she was acting decently enough my husband was willing to try). We're going to busy these next upcoming weekends, so my husband will be the only one with time to ride. Which I'm fine with; let her get more broken in before I try her again. He also made the suggestion of me riding while someone's leading her to reinforce any signals I give her. Jill's also putting up a round pen/small ring so I'll not ride alone until she's got that up. It will be flat (and hopefully free of gravel) and I won't have to worry about her bolting off anywhere because there's no where for her to go. If she can hold a gait and not steer like a drunken sailor on a sidewalk, I can stay on her. I've never fallen off a horse before, although I've had a couple of near misses. I can handle a predictable horse doing something unpredictable every once in a while, but not an unpredictable horse doing something unpredictable two minutes into my ride, lol.
cheapcatMessage #354 - 07/22/08 08:18 PMSorry to hear about the arm - were you wearing a helmet? I never did while growing up, but now it's pretty much mandatory at large stables due to the insurance risk. I was riding a friend's horse that is stabled at a huge facility with an indoor ring & the owner nearly fainted when she saw I was riding the green horse w/o a helmet. she did seem to look better when he was on her, but he had to actively drive her, and Jill doesn't seem to do that, or maybe she just makes it look more casual. Jill also uses leg cues and my husband and I don't. One thing about green horses is that they haven't learned to block out all of the extraneous cues the way school horses have. Trainers use their legs, seat bones/muscles, arms/hands/fingers & even the direction they look to direct the horse. A less experienced rider that is only using the reins to guide the horse often inadvertently gives the horse all sorts of other signals with their legs & seat as they try to stay balanced. I'd recommend learning the leg cues as they'll come in handy in jousting & swordplay when your hands will be otherwise occupied! I realized that I have a lot of great riding & training books that I haven't read in over 10 years. I also realize that I probably won't read them much in the next 10 years - I'll send them to you if you're interested. "Centered Riding" is a classic & has a lot of zen/tai chi & visualization/energy flow exercises, which seems to tie in with Fung/Feng Shui. The other really good training book is titled something like "Training the Western Horse" but is applicable to any style of riding as it focuses on horse/rider balance & communicating with the horse in a way she'll understand. I did a lot of dressage training & competitive trail riding (with vet checks, time limits, etc) & found both books extremely helpful.
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