Deleted
Joined: Jul 6, 2024 17:02:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2011 0:36:38 GMT -5
I get that it is hard to go from working a normal 9-5 or more, having a ton of responsibilities to not having anything to do, nothing on the calendar. I get it, but do you really need a "retirement coach" : money.cnn.com/2011/05/31/retirement/retirement_coach.fortune/index.htmMaybe it is because I am young, but darn it with a 2 hour commute to work and 45-60 hours work week retirement is sounding good to me and I am 30+ years away. I mean fly to places you wanted to go, spend your money before your kids fritter it away, do something. Do you really need a life coach to tell you how to just spend your day in retirement? Is it really that hard to pick activities to spend time and money on?
|
|
❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
Posts: 12,858
Today's Mood: Gen X ... so I'm sarcastic and annoyed
Location: Central California
Favorite Drink: Diet Mountain Dew
|
Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Jun 2, 2011 0:59:12 GMT -5
Hmmmm.... maybe I could fill my free time with being a "retirement coach?"
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,976
|
Post by cronewitch on Jun 2, 2011 3:32:27 GMT -5
I think it might help some of us. One reason I don't retire is trying to think how I would handle all the extra time without spending extra money.
I was a housewife and hated it, retirement might not be much better. How would I plan to not just stay home and do housework and play computer games? How scheduled do I want to be? If I need a schedule to stay motivated why not just keep working?
Should I start a business? Should I work part time? How will I feel about spending money I saved instead of saving more? What if I have time and nobody to spend time with? Do I want to travel and leave my ISO home working because he can't afford to retire too? Will he expect me to act like a wife, making dinner and mowing the lawn since he has to work and I don't?
Will I miss pay raises and feeling useful? The number of people I know will drop to almost nobody maybe 10 I see very often and not meeting new people very often, how to offset that?
Hating a job and quitting because you can afford it without thinking about what is next might lead to bad results. I like people who are long term unemployed so they have too much time and not enough money might be depressing so you never get dressed and leave the house.
People who have children might find they are trying to take too much time from the adult kids who are still working and raising kids or could find they are expected to be unpaid daycare providers if they want to or not. A retirement dream of travel and relaxing could be ruined if you never learned to tell your kids no.
My SIL is retiring this month and they are working on the issue of maybe letting go the housekeeper, does she deserve a housekeeper when she has all the time she needs to clean the house? My brother was doing most of the home business will he expect her to step up and put in more hours and clean the house herself?
Lot of issues to think about before deciding how to spend the next 30 years when you retire.
|
|
reader79
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 30, 2010 8:48:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,053
|
Post by reader79 on Jun 2, 2011 4:15:12 GMT -5
One of my grandmothers put off her retirement a few years after earning a full city pension because she still felt useful and enjoyed her work. Oh, and she liked the money too. It wasn't until her outside obligations began to take up enough of her time that she felt she could retire and have things to do. She's a member of several quilting and flower clubs, the ladies auxiliary at the VFW, and she teaches classes at the senior center.
Her and my grandfather traveled extensively in retirement - although they did this before around her school schedule. They would spend money on us, but only on useful things like school clothes or class trips. They are only starting to slow down now because they are finding that doctor's appointments are taking up a lot of their time. And travel is more of a hassle, so they prefer bus trips with groups over flying and driving themselves.
They were always super careful with money, they saved outside of their pensions and SS, so there is no pressure on that end. She gave us all $500 checks for her birthday last year because she figured we would find something to do with it rather than it just sitting in her bank account.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jul 6, 2024 17:02:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2011 6:14:43 GMT -5
We're 66 and have been retired for 16 years. I learned early in retirement one important thing: We didn't do anything all day and it took us all day to do it.
We love retirement and have never looked back. The joy of doing what we want, when we want====PRICELESS!!!!!
|
|
Waffle
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 11:31:54 GMT -5
Posts: 4,391
|
Post by Waffle on Jun 2, 2011 7:30:45 GMT -5
Some people could probably use one. I've known a few (very few) people who were really miserable in retirement - just didn't know what to do with themselves. Me, I'd retire tomorrow, if I thought I could swing it financially - but I can't, so I keep working. Cronewitch what is ISO? Everytime I see it I think In Significant Other. Blonde Granny - You sound like my mother. I have often heard her say that she "didn't do anything, but it took her all day to do it."
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 2, 2011 7:46:32 GMT -5
I think the idea of a retirement coach isn't bad for some people. My Dad retired at 62 and then spent the next 6+ years waiting for my Mom to retire. My siblings started using him as chauffeur for the kids' to get him out of the house (my Mom HIGHLY approved of this, by the way) and we told him he needed a part-time job so he'd have someone to talk to.
Now, he plays cards once a week with other retirees, meets a bunch of former coworkers for coffee once a month, sees a friend a couple times a week, watches my kids 1 day a week with Mom. In summer they have the trailer in Door Co. to go to. And he spends a lot of time on the yard. On the whole, he's happy putzing around. If any of us kids have a putzy job to do, he'll do it or help us with it. And they've spent a lot of time doing stuff with all the grandkids. Dad talks about moving to Florida but my Mom won't leave her grandkids - there's 10 of them ranging from 21 to my DS at 19 months.
|
|
Bob Ross
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 14:48:03 GMT -5
Posts: 5,882
|
Post by Bob Ross on Jun 2, 2011 9:32:43 GMT -5
But don't envy Bud Robertson. In fact, hang out with him for a while, and you almost feel bad for the guy. Because on a recent spring morning he is not lounging at home in his pajamas or snorkeling in the Bahamas. Instead he is sitting in a conference room in Boston with Mike Jeans, the president of a firm called New Directions that, among other services, helps retired executives like Robertson figure out what to do with themselves when they can't boss people around anymore.At first I thought people were paying this guy to show them how to do nothing all day long, but it turns out he's trying to un-d-bag the d-bags. Hmmm...I could probably accomplish the same thing with a crowbar. I wonder if I could charge them for it?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jul 6, 2024 17:02:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2011 10:18:07 GMT -5
The problem is that so many people retire to get away from something and don't think about moving toward something else. I can see this being a big problem for folks who are involuntarily retired (but they may not have the money to pay for a retirement coach). I think my DH is going to have some trouble (and by extension me too!). He's had a pretty important job for many years and is used to people doing what he tells them to do. I don't think he's really prepared to be just another old retired guy. I know he'll try supervising me and that "just ain't gonna fly"! Carl, I don't know if DH and I are just getting old or are untrained, but we recognize that we really don't like being away from "home" for more than two weeks at a time. Both on our Egypt trip in 2009 and our Turkey trip earlier this Spring, we both felt "done" and were ready to go home on day 12. I'm not complaining but there seems to be a limit on how much we can absorb about a new place. And we miss our cats, home and boring little routines. I honestly don't think we could travel on big trips more than 2 or 3 big trips a year...and then there's the cost. Not everyone has the ability to afford 1st class travel. I can tell you it's a big adjustment going from being "somebody" to nobody. I left my job in 2003 where I was relatively well known and had an important job when we moved to AZ. I did some real estate consulting for a couple of years but that dried up as the market got too expensive to cut the kind of deals we needed to do. I've kept relatively busy with some volunteer work and our real estate stuff but I can tell you there have been some short bouts of depression, especially since we moved to Germany and my social network is really limited. I think you do have to take some time to prepare yourself for this phase of your life. If a retirement (or life) coach can help you that's another arrow in your quiver to being a happy and productive human being.
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,976
|
Post by cronewitch on Jun 2, 2011 10:59:14 GMT -5
ISO is InSignificant Other. He is someone who is a roommate the last 25 years but we don't share money or assets. We intend to stay together for life but not be significant or engaged or life partners or marry. He could move out tomorrow and we wouldn't need to do anything about anything. I do have him as a beneficiary on some investments so I would only need to change that.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,510
|
Post by thyme4change on Jun 2, 2011 12:15:18 GMT -5
Karma 68 or 70?
Did we get rid of 69? Were we too immature to handle it?
ROFL!
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program:
I have no idea what I'm going to do when I retire. I'm terrified that I will stop working and start dying. I don't have any real passions or hobbies that I could fill my day with, and I'm not really a service type/volunteer. The opportunities I've seen for volunteer work do not interest me in the least. I'm kinda screwed.
|
|
Waffle
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 11:31:54 GMT -5
Posts: 4,391
|
Post by Waffle on Jun 2, 2011 12:16:39 GMT -5
Thanks Crone - I just kept thinking I was missing something and that ISO, really stood for something else.
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,976
|
Post by cronewitch on Jun 2, 2011 14:30:19 GMT -5
don't have any real passions or hobbies that I could fill my day with, and I'm not really a service type/volunteer. The opportunities I've seen for volunteer work do not interest me in the least. I'm kinda screwed.
I am thinking a very part time job for money. My choice would be a greeter at a health club from 5-7 AM. Greeting same people every morning wearing sweats to work. Then I would get a free membership so could work out a few minutes, enjoy the spa area then maybe a aqua aerobics class at 9. So at 10 I have my day free and am already out of the house and dressed and had a slight social interaction. If I wanted to leave town I would ask them not to schedule me that week.
|
|
TrixAre4Kids
Familiar Member
'Not all those who wander are lost' - J. R. R. Tolkien
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 22:33:15 GMT -5
Posts: 877
|
Post by TrixAre4Kids on Jun 2, 2011 15:15:10 GMT -5
Hi Crone, You do need to develop a hobby! I know you like to fish, I'm not sure what type of fishing but...what about learning to tie flies? I've heard you can sell hand-tied flies for big bucks. Here is a new hobby and a new business if you're so inclined........just a suggestion. I look forward to the day I can work more in my garden without keeping an eye on the clock, learning to knit, getting involved with the horse park..ah so much to do and I can't wait for retirement!
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 2, 2011 15:54:15 GMT -5
I took a retirement seminar and this was one of the subjects that came up. As was said, it can be hard to be idle, or not spend money when you have nothing but time stretching in front of you. I can see that some people would suffer a major loss of identity when they leave an environment that defined them for so long.
That guy in the article certainly seems like he is adrift.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 2, 2011 16:18:51 GMT -5
Retirement coach... why didn't I think of that? That dude gets paid to tell people to take up a hobby and stop worrying about work. Easiest job ever. Maybe I'll start my own retirement coaching business on the side, so that I can quit working earlier.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 2, 2011 16:23:42 GMT -5
No government regulations or laws require licensing, and financial planners, HR pros, and consultants are all getting in on the act. Most coaches are solo practitioners who conduct their sessions by phone and can cost as little as $100 an hour. Yep, I've definitely found my calling!
|
|
❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
Posts: 12,858
Today's Mood: Gen X ... so I'm sarcastic and annoyed
Location: Central California
Favorite Drink: Diet Mountain Dew
|
Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Jun 2, 2011 16:38:23 GMT -5
Dark, that's what I've been thinking!
Since I quit working in 2005, I've been busily gathering "retirement coaching experience" for the last 5.5 years! ;D
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,510
|
Post by thyme4change on Jun 2, 2011 16:42:26 GMT -5
Remember, coaching is just a buzz-word for unlicensed therapist. If you are coaching people you have to listen to them go on and on and on about themselves until you both can agree what their problems are. They you have to help them formulate a plan with solutions for those problems, and then you have to listen to them when their plan doesn't work. It isn't all glamour - it is mostly people just whining and talking about themselves.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 2, 2011 16:46:33 GMT -5
It isn't all glamour - it is mostly people just whining and talking about themselves. I already have to endure a fair bit of that anyway, I might as well get the $100 an hour for it.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 2, 2011 16:46:40 GMT -5
It's another profession with questionable worth, like "life coach" or "gender spectrum trainer."
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,510
|
Post by thyme4change on Jun 2, 2011 17:08:03 GMT -5
Awesome. Let's get started. I have no hobbies. I do not attend church, and I'm not really passionate about anything. I don't like kids, and I don't want to volunteer at an old-aged home, a homeless shelter, or a thrift store. The skills I have are purely corporate financial. I don't do taxes, and I have never done anyone's personal finances. I don't want to get involved with any type of investment advising, other than "do it."
Where do I start?
|
|
sil
Established Member
Joined: Jan 7, 2011 18:56:29 GMT -5
Posts: 396
|
Post by sil on Jun 2, 2011 17:10:09 GMT -5
You should become a Mod! ;D
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 2, 2011 17:18:14 GMT -5
I'll need a list of the electives you chose in high school and college with a brief description of why you chose them. Please rank the list based on the ones you enjoyed the most. I'll need another list of any classes you've taken while working that weren't work related, trips you've taken, basically a picture of how you've spent your vacation time over the years. And lastly, assume that you're throwing a dinner party or something, specifically NOT for business just getting together with friends, think of who you'd invite. Now take that list of names and tell me how many of them are retired, how many work part time, and how many work full time. For the ones that are retired, and the part timers try to list their major hobbies. The things they actually spend time doing, i.e. they might LOVE traveling to Europe but if they only go for a few weeks every other year that doesn't really amount to much, I need to know how they spend their day on a normal day.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jul 6, 2024 17:02:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2011 17:30:00 GMT -5
I understand Bonnap's comment that her DH is used to supervising people. I still work, but my DH is retired from being a hospital project manager. He is never happier that when I have a project that needs managing, be it having the house painted or countertops replaced, etc. His eyes light up whenever I mention a project. Lol. But most days he works crossword puzzles, reads three newspapers (local, WSJ, USAToday), and a couple of news magazines. I am glad we have Abby, the wonder dog, if only because she gives him something to do. In fact, if anything happens to him before I retire, I will have to confine her to the basement. This dog isn't trained; we are. In my retirement, I plan to work just a little. It might be retail (I was good at it), substituting (that's what my friends do), or volunteering in a library. I figure 2 days a week would remind me why I retired.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,510
|
Post by thyme4change on Jun 2, 2011 17:44:54 GMT -5
In high school I took theater tech (lights, sound and set design - not drama) and band. I was awesome at music, but no longer find joy in playing. In college, I took band - forever. I really liked playing for the games (football and basketball) but also did symphonic. I don't remember any other electives. I did a double major, which meant I didn't have to take a lot of free-picks. I did take a Greek mythology class - because the teacher was like a stand-up comedian and was easily the best presentor I ever came in contact with. I also took a socilogly class and a study of British politics class. They fulfilled some gen ed requirement, and were not in conflict with any other class I needed to take, nor were they at 8 am or noon (our school had a great lunch-time tradition that I refused to miss.) I vaguely remember taking some sort of nutrition class. It must have fulfilled something. Shit - college was a long time ago, and it will be even longer-ago when I actually do retire.
My vacations are generally to visit cities and see everything we can possibly see. Most of my vacations are more tiring than my life. Although I love travel, I don't see me doing it more than a few weeks per year.
As far as dinner parties - we entertain quite often. I don't have any friends that are technically "retired" although I have several that are SAH-parents. If any work part-time, they spend their free time the same was as the SAH's. Driving kids around, volunteering at school, coaching sports teams, etc.
I do have a friend that antiques {{shudder}}, I have a friend that knits (really?!) - but mostly, we just drink.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 2, 2011 18:13:12 GMT -5
I was awesome at music, but no longer find joy in playing. If playing no longer gives you joy you might consider finding a way to watch band performances, attend the local high school or college games. A lot of cities have adult bands though, and I imagine playing in the local 4th of July parade might bring back some of the joy you got as a young adult playing at games. My vacations are generally to visit cities and see everything we can possibly see. Most of my vacations are more tiring than my life. Although I love travel, I don't see me doing it more than a few weeks per year. That's how most people are, so figure a trip or two a year, or every couple years. Throw in the planning that goes with said trip and it'll be a fun way to spend a block of time here and there. As far as dinner parties - we entertain quite often. I don't have any friends that are technically "retired" although I have several that are SAH-parents. If any work part-time, they spend their free time the same was as the SAH's. Driving kids around, volunteering at school, coaching sports teams, etc.
I do have a friend that antiques {{shudder}}, I have a friend that knits (really?!) - but mostly, we just drink. Well there you go. Spend the bulk of your time hanging with good friends drinking, throw in a trip here and there, and maybe playing in the community marching band or orchestra. Sounds pretty decent to me. That'll be $100, I'll PM you with my paypal account info.
|
|
MN-Investor
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:22:44 GMT -5
Posts: 1,954
|
Post by MN-Investor on Jun 2, 2011 18:28:37 GMT -5
My sister recently retired. Before she retired, she got involved with a blog on a subject she found very interesting, totally unrelated to her career. Now she's paid to come and talk at seminars around the world on the subject. She just got back from Spain and China.
|
|
haapai
Junior Associate
Character
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:40:06 GMT -5
Posts: 5,955
|
Post by haapai on Jun 2, 2011 20:06:01 GMT -5
My take on it is that if you are recently retired, lost, and have enough money to afford to spend $15-$75K a year on an unlicensed therapist, perhaps you should. It's a heck of a lot cheaper than a lot of other hobbies, an ill-advised marriage, or a second brood. It may not help you much, it may even hurt you, but it's still a lot cheaper than a lot of other ways to keep yourself occupied.
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,976
|
Post by cronewitch on Jun 3, 2011 2:10:30 GMT -5
I tried to take up tying flies once, got some books and materials even tied a handful. Mostly they were pink, I like pink and pink catches pink salmon so it works out. My first fly was pink and I wanted to fish for pink salmon but the river was closed for fishing. I put my fly in the water and made 8s to watch how it moved and a Silver salmon ate it, so we at it.
I like to fish but not tie the flies, you can buy flies cheap made by the dozen by people in poor countries. I took fly fishing lessons one summer but don't enjoy casting so quit doing it. I like sitting in the boat on a nice day trolling, reading a book and looking at the nice water front homes and the nice boats but only do that when he wants to drive the boat. I don't want to launch or retrieve the boat or to drive it. My cousin wants to fish with me but I had to ask my ISO to take us. He said yes but I know he doesn't want to take anyone but me. My cousin and I are going to can tuna together soon, my jars are mostly full of tuna but she has some jars and we used some since I canned tuna last.
Hobbies like fishing are only good on pretty days and best with someone else. When I am alone I like to fish on piers with other people at night for rock cod. I should invite my cousin to do that. She likes to fish for salmon in a river near her mom's town but that is too far for me.
I went charter boat fishing twice last year and might go once this year but that is pricey and only a day at a time usually. Smelt dipping was closed this year and we only spent 3 days clam digging.
|
|