Mrs. Dinero
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Post by Mrs. Dinero on May 25, 2011 11:31:31 GMT -5
Do you find these questions rude? Not so much on this board but in real life.
What do you think? and how do you respond?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 11:33:11 GMT -5
"Not enough." "Too much." ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 11:34:18 GMT -5
I make a "comfortable" living
It cost me what it cost me....do you want to chip in?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 25, 2011 11:34:24 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever been asked "how much do you make". As far as what things costs - I have no problem sharing that. I also like asking that question. ![](http://boards.msn.com/Themes/default/emoticons/red_smile.gif) But then again, I can talk about money and money related things for a loooong loooong time Lena
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The J
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Post by The J on May 25, 2011 11:35:43 GMT -5
I guess it would depend on whose asking, but it doesn't bother me that much (primarily because the only time this has come up has been with close friends and family). Part of it is that my salary is public record, and if you know my name (and frankly, if you're asking me how much I make, you should know my name) you can find it out online (with very little effort). As far as how much things cost, that bothers me even less. Generally I just tell people if they ask (sometimes approximations, but that's mainly for convenience or because I can't remember exactly).
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 25, 2011 11:38:03 GMT -5
I have no problem with "how much did that cost" (unless it's asked in a purposely rude manner). Sometimes I want to know how much something cost, too! You can usually ferret out whether the person is genuinely curious or interested in the item (and maybe purchasing it for themselves) versus nosing around into your finances.
I have never been asked how much I make, but my salary is public record, so anyone who wanted to find out could. I don't ask others how much they make, though - seems to be universally regarded as rude. Plus the only salaries I really care about are my coworkers' (for negotiation purposes ;D) and I can find those with a click of the mouse.
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Post by illinicheme on May 25, 2011 11:39:31 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever been asked how much I make.
I've asked people sometimes about how much things cost. I usually say "Do you mind if I ask how much that cost?" It's usually in reference to something like a course or event that sounds interesting. I can't think of anyone who has had a problem telling me.
The circles I run in don't routinely ask direct questions about big ticket items like homes and cars. It's easy enough to figure that out if you're interested.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on May 25, 2011 11:41:21 GMT -5
I don't think anyone has ever asked me how much I make. I do get asked "how much did that cost" occasionally, but it's pretty rare. I HATE shopping so I rarely buy new things anyway. When they do ask it's usually about something I picked up at an auction or a garage sale. If it was something I got a good deal on I am happy to brag and share the price. If it falls in the none of your business category I just change the subject.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 25, 2011 11:41:33 GMT -5
"I make a respectable salary".
I usually do not have anything that would prompt someone to ask what I paid for it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 11:50:17 GMT -5
I ask my friends, "what'd that set you back?" I hope they don't think it is rude.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on May 25, 2011 12:00:15 GMT -5
How much do you make? (When I was still working) My response, with a chuckle, was "Not nearly enough".... or "More than I deserve".....
How much did that cost? If they ask, "Do you mind telling me what that cost?", I don't mind and will tell them. It really isn't all that hard to figure out what something costs anyway. And if it was one of my thrift store finds, I include that information...
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 25, 2011 12:02:00 GMT -5
LOL Archie. My group of friends uses the same terminology.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on May 25, 2011 12:11:42 GMT -5
How much do you make? More than I need and less than I want. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) Seriously, I don't think anybody has ever asked me that. If they did, I wouldn't give them a straight answer, and I would think it was rude of them to ask. I was told a long time ago that if someone makes more than you, they'd feel superior and if they made less than you, they'd feel jealous - so that's information you don't want to reveal. How much did it cost? _ I don't usually have any problem with that. I agree with midwesternjd - you can usually tell if someone is asking just to be rude.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 25, 2011 12:15:01 GMT -5
I am never asked what DH makes. I don't mind if people ask me how much something costs, but most people who know me well enough to ask, pretty much know that I don't buy too many things unless I find a killer deal and/or I have coupons. ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 12:19:15 GMT -5
"How much do you make?"
I don't think I've been asked that anywhere except here and Networth IQ ;D
"How much did that cost?"
Depends on the context. Like Mid West JD I'm usually pretty open unless I think someone is just being nosy.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 12:38:15 GMT -5
The only time I felt uncomfortable is when my mother-in-law asked what we made - and she asked me, not her daughter. It was uncomfortable because she loves to compare people and put people down. She also loves to gossip so I knew the entire family would know it within days. That is why I inflated it 50%.. ![](http://boards.msn.com/Themes/default/emoticons/tongue_smile.gif)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 12:46:02 GMT -5
I've been asked what I make by one of DH's tactless cousins. I'm chalking it up to the fact that she's a teenager and a pretty shallow one at that. Yes, I think it's extremely rude to ask someone that unless you're a financial planner or something.
The second question I find only slightly rude, but it depends on how it's being asked.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on May 25, 2011 12:46:52 GMT -5
I have been known to ask close friends "May I ask what that cost?" when they've recently purchased something I'm in the market for. If they give a vague or general response, I don't press for additional details. I wouldn't ask it about something like a piece of jewelry, though ... then that seems more prying/personal.
My wonderful DH is in the military, so anyone can figure out his salary pretty easily. Before I stopped working, I worked for our local City, and my salary was also public record.
I have had people ask what we paid for our house, and what our mortgage rate is, though.
And I've had people ask me about my power bills and insurance premiums ... which I suppose is akin to asking how much something costs. I'm fine with these inquiries as long as I know/like/trust the inquisitor.
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on May 25, 2011 12:54:33 GMT -5
I don't think anyone has ever asked me how much I make.
How much something costs? Depends on what it is. My car or my house - I don't want to share that info. My shoes, my kid's summer camp, my dinner plates - that I don't mind.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 25, 2011 12:57:32 GMT -5
It depends on who is asking. Once I year, I speak to a senior high school business class about being a lawyer. If the kids are asking what type of training/schooling it takes to do what I do, I think it's a fair question to ask what I make so they can do their own cost/benefit analysis.
I'm also open other attorneys, especially ADA's and APD's considering going into private practice, about what I make if they are asking for career advice.
A random person ask me, eh, not so open.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 25, 2011 12:58:06 GMT -5
I have had people ask what we paid for our house, and what our mortgage rate is, though. Which is also public record, at least in NY. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on May 25, 2011 13:00:05 GMT -5
I have never had anyone ask how much I make, but I would probably tell them " I do ok".
I have no problem with telling someone how much something cost me, and I have often asked others. I am usually asking because it is something that I am interested in having myself or giving as a gift to someone else.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 13:06:17 GMT -5
I feel like anyone that really wanted to know the price of my house could look it up on the PVA website, so I don't really have a problem disclosing that.
My car's price is the result of my negotiating skills, so I might not be as keen to reveal that. (Currently the price is "bought and paid for" but still...)
If something is a steal of a deal, you can usually tell that the owner doesn't mind disclosing their shopping prowess. Otherwise, I think the "do you mind if I ask what that cost" question is okay. That one feels like I might be in the market for a similar purchase and want to be an educated consumer. "Wow, what did that set you back?" feels more like you are just being nosey/looking to disclose your superior bargain hunting skills/or otherwise sizing me up.
Obviously, that all depends on the tone of the conversation and the relationship with the asker, but the framing of the question would impact my willingness to give a straight answer.
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Post by pig on May 25, 2011 13:06:40 GMT -5
Neither bother me but I usually don't answer the first question unless it's someone I know really well or if it's family.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2011 13:10:02 GMT -5
I don't answer what I make. I don't even post it here. But I talk about what stuff costs all the time. I've learned not to ask other people what they paid. But for years I was the tacky one asking that you guys ridicule on here. ;D
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brdsl
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Post by brdsl on May 25, 2011 13:14:59 GMT -5
Do you find these questions rude? Not so much on this board but in real life. What do you think? and how do you respond? It depends on who is asking. If it is a close friend, no I don't find them rude. They know more about me that most, and typically it isn't a big deal. If a co-worker or a distant friend, then I think it is rude. Friend. I tell them. Distant. I typically say not enough, and more than I should have.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 25, 2011 13:20:09 GMT -5
I usually do not answer what I make. I've made the mistake of telling people and then they go "Is that all?!" I don't feel like explaining to them that the university benefits I get trade off the salary I make right now. So I keep it to myself.
As to how much something cost it depends. My MIL usually wants to know so she can tell us how we could ahve found something cheaper, so we don't tell her. If someone is asking because they are thinking about purchasing one then I have no problems sharing. I told my parents how much I paid for our pack-n-play and where I got it because they were looking for one.
My BIL usually wants to know so he can brag about how he has something more expensive, so we don't tell him either.
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Mrs. Dinero
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100% about truth & justice. Always trying to give mercy a chance.
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Post by Mrs. Dinero on May 25, 2011 13:24:51 GMT -5
I find it very rude no matter who you are. Our close friend of over 20+ years said, "You guys probably make $X" I told him "I don't want to discuss it". He was offended and was like who cares? I told him I didn't want to make him feel jealous and laughed. It was my polite way of saying I don't want to discuss. Why would he need to know? We all have different jobs with different education and experience. Why? To say.... They make $X which is more than so and so and less than so and so. No - Sorry - I'm not playing. Also, I stand by not telling my kids. They certainly don't need to be comparing their friends parents salaries in the same fashion. Maybe it's because I never knew how much my dad made and in the end why would I need to know? I still don't get it. Once, I told my sister how much we made after her asking. Ever since, she hasn't picked up a tab or paid an equal share.
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Post by gsbrq on May 25, 2011 13:30:29 GMT -5
I don't care if someone asks how much I paid for something. I'm a bargain hunter, so I'm usually happy that I've gotten a good deal.
I don't think I've ever had someone ask how much I made, except when I was waiting tables and a co-worker might ask how I did on tips that shift. I do think it's rude to ask about someone's salary. If anyone ever asked me that question, I'd probably respond "Why do you ask?"
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 25, 2011 13:34:14 GMT -5
I never joined in the "so how much did they tip" game, usually because I made more. ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) It generates a lot of in-fighting and then customers got ignored because a waiter didn't want to wait on them because they don't tip well. I got a $12 tip off a table of teenage boys because another waitress passed because teens generally don't tip well. Showed her. Customers notice too, I got some nice tips where the customer told me they were giving me extra BECAUSE I didn't shuffle them off to the next available server in favor of another table. A manager complimented me on not being favorable to certain tables and I told him that I've found I make more by NOT being favorable than singling out table, but don't tell the other waiters that. ;D
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