geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 24, 2022 12:18:53 GMT -5
I would love an adult sleep over as well.
I really do think larger schools is part of an issue. With smaller schools kids learn to get along with others who are not like them, think like them ect... In larger schools it is a lot easier to find a click of 4 or 5 other people like you and just mentally wall yourself off, or put down others. I do not know how many times I have sat down with kids who want to fight someone because they think differently.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jun 24, 2022 18:37:48 GMT -5
I'd love an adult sleepover. I've stayed over at my BFF's house before sans kids and we had a great time!
Also we go to a small school (I went there, as did my dad), so I agree it is easier to be around all types of people and be friendly, if not friends, with a larger group.
Veering off the topic - does anyone else think that sometimes it is just easier and more fun to do things without DHs? Like, it is DD1's birthday, so we went out to breakfast as a family. He was just pissy the whole time over nothing (kids acting silly) and it would have just been easier if he wasn't there. I just get so tired of it.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jun 24, 2022 22:10:05 GMT -5
I love adult sleepovers! I have found as I age most people prefer to return to their own beds at the end of the night though. Maybe advertise it as a girls night in with the option to stay the night.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 24, 2022 22:44:47 GMT -5
Good advice about making the sleepover part optional. A few might stay bc they don't drive after drinking anything.
8 teens and 2 little sisters ate a whole watermelon, 30 pieces of garlic bread and a pan and a half of mostaccoli. DH is impressed.
Teens had the neighborhood pool to themselves from 730 to 845.
Glow in the dark volleyball and now Jumanji on our outdoor projector.
Unfortunately, I agree with the poster above that too often 'family' outings are more agreeable without the dh. It's like he can't be bothered to enjoy what they like. Both girls want to go see the new toy story movie in theater, he was like nah that's a kid movie. Um, yeah, hello, you.have.kids. And I was surprised dd13 wanted to see it so I felt like we should jump on board.
I have to travel for work on Mon and he'll have to take dd9 to swim meet. Woe is him even though I've done two in 100+ heat index and his is set to be 90.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 25, 2022 7:45:26 GMT -5
Veering off the topic - does anyone else think that sometimes it is just easier and more fun to do things without DHs? Like, it is DD1's birthday, so we went out to breakfast as a family. He was just pissy the whole time over nothing (kids acting silly) and it would have just been easier if he wasn't there. I just get so tired of it. Ummm yes.... but then that is one of the reasons we separated, not the only, but one of them.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 25, 2022 10:58:33 GMT -5
Offered for dd13 to host another large sleepover since the may one was so easy. 8 teens coming plus one little sister to hang out with dd9. Popcorn, gushers, and watermelon for snacks. Dh is making baked pasta, garlic bread, and a salad for dinner. Cinn rolls for breakfast. Vball net set up. Neighborhood pool down the block. I've been thinking I need to plan a mom trip with some friends. Then, it occurred to me that I could host my own sleepover. Money I would have spent on lodging could easily cover group takeout. Neighborhood pool, drinks on the deck. We have 5 twin mattresses, a guest king bed, dd13's queen. Dh is taking dd9 on a dad/daughter weekend early August. Dd13 could find a sleepover. Think other moms would be interested or does it sound corny? It does sound corny, and corny is fun! I would broach it with the others and be prepared for some to prefer to sleep in their own beds, but others leap at the chance to get away for the night. I'd be interested if it were me.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 26, 2022 9:11:00 GMT -5
Okay so thinking this over, I guess I do adult sleep overs and not even thinking of it. Tomorrow I will be going over to my best friends house for a motorcycle ride in the evening, and spending the night to help her with some house work on Tuesday to get her pool room ready for the table. Friday I will be back over there for and will most likely sleeping over again.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 26, 2022 17:45:48 GMT -5
I have had issues like that with dh. Most of it is little stuff, like not playing along with car games and I'm like come on dude. Easiest Good parenting points here.
He's gotten better, but when he was moodier and angrier I stopped including him in things. The kids and I are going to breakfast, and unless he put in the effort he didn't come. Eventually I started calling him out on attitude. I am sympathetic that he has anxiety and chronic pain that can make simple activities difficult and I will help him to the point I am able to, but that help doesn't include tolerating poor behavior. If he isn't feeling well or up to going out - stay home! Don't come with only to share your misery.
His family still tip toes around his dad. As a kid it was worse and I'm not doing that.
I wonder sometimes if some of dh's issues stem from feeling like he always comes in 2nd. His mom had to choose his dad or the rest of the world and she chose his dad. Even over her kids. Then dh had me for a lot of years, but the kids come first now and while that will change as they get older in some ways it won't go away. Dh regularly says how much he wanted his mom to read to him and he's glad I read with the kids. But the part that irritates me is that if he had prioritized that when the kids were little he'd have that time with the kids too.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 28, 2022 21:53:35 GMT -5
How much cash would you give a 13 year old for his birthday? Ds only request is cash which I'm good with. Dh got him a knife he wanted, but that's the only physical gift we have for him and his party with be at most $100 including food.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jun 28, 2022 22:20:36 GMT -5
It would depend on how he manages his money, in general. If he tends to blow it all on junk, I'd give less. If he's been saving for something bigger, I'd give more, probably enough to buy whatever it is he really wants. It could be a pretty big range, maybe $50-$300? Of course, it also depends on how much extra money is available.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 28, 2022 22:49:44 GMT -5
It would depend on how he manages his money, in general. If he tends to blow it all on junk, I'd give less. If he's been saving for something bigger, I'd give more, probably enough to buy whatever it is he really wants. It could be a pretty big range, maybe $50-$300? Of course, it also depends on how much extra money is available. Good points. And that encompasses the range Im thinking of. Im leaning toward $150-$200. He's good with his money and saves more than he spends in addition to the saving I make him do. Big ticket he's saving up to build a gaming pc, but I know he's thinking about a couple games in the $30 range and he needs spending money for comicon and Renaissance festival both with the next month probably. He has quite a bit of spending coming up, but he already has plenty saved and has lots of opportunities to earn money for chores with us and my folks. The last couple years were so crazy we just threw money at everything and I'm trying to fix that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 29, 2022 11:18:47 GMT -5
It would depend on how he manages his money, in general. If he tends to blow it all on junk, I'd give less. If he's been saving for something bigger, I'd give more, probably enough to buy whatever it is he really wants. It could be a pretty big range, maybe $50-$300? Of course, it also depends on how much extra money is available. Good points. And that encompasses the range Im thinking of. Im leaning toward $150-$200. He's good with his money and saves more than he spends in addition to the saving I make him do. Big ticket he's saving up to build a gaming pc, but I know he's thinking about a couple games in the $30 range and he needs spending money for comicon and Renaissance festival both with the next month probably. He has quite a bit of spending coming up, but he already has plenty saved and has lots of opportunities to earn money for chores with us and my folks. The last couple years were so crazy we just threw money at everything and I'm trying to fix that. We did too and then between all the anxiety and now MIL dying DH has been out of control again. Then add on inflation. I find I am back to having to pull money from savings to get things back in order. I want to cry because I should be so much better at handling our money at 38 but I am still damn near paycheck to paycheck. I was all excited to be back in the black this month but then spending got out of control again because I've been so distracted by grandma I didn't keep track like I should have. I am beyond pissed at myself. I'd really like to get to where I have the mental space to devote to money management again. I haven't had that since 2015. DH keeps insisting he can "help" but then every time I try to talk to him about he gets pissy AND insists that I must hold his hand and walk him through everything. I've told him multiple times I have no desire to replace his mother and end up with a 3rd kid. Sometimes I get to wondering what my life would be life if I had never gotten married. I love DH and I love the kids but my life would have been so different. With MIL dying, dealing with my grandma and the fact the nation just announced that the only value I have to society is as a walking incubator thoughts about my own mortality and what I wanted/want out of life are creeping in. I am trying not to be bitter about and recognize that despite it all my life is pretty darn good/average and privileged but it is so hard to do right now. This is not where I thought I would be at 38. I so understand my dad when he says he is tired of it all. I'm reading a book right now called In Defense of Witches and it is feminist literature and it's hitting a tad too close to home.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 29, 2022 23:12:34 GMT -5
Ds will officially be 13 in 8 hours. I know I say it every year, but it's just crazy to me. He had a Dr appt today and he's 5'7.5" - that half inch counts.
He's grown and changed so much this year. From kid to mostly grown it seems like. He's a good human. I enjoy hanging out with him and looking forward to the year ahead.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 30, 2022 8:39:25 GMT -5
We'll hit 14 in a month. That's bothering me more than 13 did. Plus the start of hs. I keep thinking she seems so grow up here at home but she's going to seem so young in the halls of hs.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 30, 2022 9:02:42 GMT -5
Saw my oldest great nephew yesterday. I picked up that kid from day care.
He will be a senior in high school in the fall. How did this happen?
That kid is a worker. He works at a fast food place for 39.5 hours per week since no OT is allowed. He is also helping Grandpa tear the roofs off several buildings on the farm and replacing the roofs. I know grandpa is paying him.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 1, 2022 9:24:34 GMT -5
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 1, 2022 9:52:31 GMT -5
And in sadder news, I got a Facebook notification that today would be Beth's birthday. I think about her and her kids a lot honestly.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jul 1, 2022 9:53:40 GMT -5
Facebook is killing me with the birthday notifications this week. First my stepsister then Beth today.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jul 1, 2022 21:49:02 GMT -5
I also saw the notification about wibeth’s birthday. :-(
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2022 8:38:26 GMT -5
I am seriously a horrible parent of adult children. Give me all the babies and toddlers and I'll return them at like age 3. I really envy those that have it the other way around. It just keeps getting worse the older they get for me.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 8, 2022 8:43:48 GMT -5
I am seriously a horrible parent of adult children. Give me all the babies and toddlers and I'll return them at like age 3. I really envy those that have it the other way around. It just keeps getting worse the older they get for me. No you aren't. And I've been missing beth too.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jul 8, 2022 8:54:31 GMT -5
I am seriously a horrible parent of adult children. Give me all the babies and toddlers and I'll return them at like age 3. I really envy those that have it the other way around. It just keeps getting worse the older they get for me. My kids are only 6 and 8, but I'm with you. I was such a good mom when my kids were younger (most likely because they couldn't talk back or intentionally do bad/mean things).
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 8, 2022 9:29:58 GMT -5
I am seriously a horrible parent of adult children. Give me all the babies and toddlers and I'll return them at like age 3. I really envy those that have it the other way around. It just keeps getting worse the older they get for me. It's cause you can control babies and toddlers. Even at 7 I can still pick Abby up and haul her ass into the bedroom if she has a temper tantrum. Gwen I cannot. She's becoming her own human being and learning how to navigate our new relationship has been a struggle. I honest to God yelled at her the other day that I could take her out and then I WOULD NOT make another like her I'd enjoy my child free life in prison. Cause that's mature on my part.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2022 10:50:17 GMT -5
Control must be it. I don't know why else I would get so angry about his personal choices. I should just step back and say "whatever, your life", but instead I get so pissed off. I don't know if I just made life too easy for him or if it's a maturity thing or if he's just always going to be like this.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jul 8, 2022 13:15:36 GMT -5
Control must be it. I don't know why else I would get so angry about his personal choices. I should just step back and say "whatever, your life", but instead I get so pissed off. I don't know if I just made life too easy for him or if it's a maturity thing or if he's just always going to be like this. Your oldest? I feel for you.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2022 17:10:26 GMT -5
Control must be it. I don't know why else I would get so angry about his personal choices. I should just step back and say "whatever, your life", but instead I get so pissed off. I don't know if I just made life too easy for him or if it's a maturity thing or if he's just always going to be like this. Your oldest? I feel for you. Yes, and today he was obviously venting to Carrot because I got an earful from him too when I made him turn off his PS5 after he'd probably been on it since 10 minutes after I left for work. I got the whole "I can't wait until I'm 18 and you don't own me anymore" spiel. Of course this is yelled at me within 5 minutes of asking what's for dinner.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 8, 2022 17:16:45 GMT -5
Your oldest? I feel for you. Yes, and today he was obviously venting to Carrot because I got an earful from him too when I made him turn off his PS5 after he'd probably been on it since 10 minutes after I left for work. I got the whole "I can't wait until I'm 18 and you don't own me anymore" spiel. Of course this is yelled at me within 5 minutes of asking what's for dinner. Nothing when you're 18 you can pay to feed yourself.🤣
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2022 17:40:37 GMT -5
Yes, and today he was obviously venting to Carrot because I got an earful from him too when I made him turn off his PS5 after he'd probably been on it since 10 minutes after I left for work. I got the whole "I can't wait until I'm 18 and you don't own me anymore" spiel. Of course this is yelled at me within 5 minutes of asking what's for dinner. Nothing when you're 18 you can pay to feed yourself.🤣 Right? And nothing keeping his brother here either. If he hates me so much he can certainly move out. He'll be 20 in a few days and his dad would certainly let him move in, he has his own room there already. But nope. Stay and complain. Makes no sense.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jul 8, 2022 18:00:36 GMT -5
Nothing when you're 18 you can pay to feed yourself.🤣 Right? And nothing keeping his brother here either. If he hates me so much he can certainly move out. He'll be 20 in a few days and his dad would certainly let him move in, he has his own room there already. But nope. Stay and complain. Makes no sense. Only 1 brother that’s 12 at your house versus 2 younger siblings??? 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2022 18:11:51 GMT -5
Right? And nothing keeping his brother here either. If he hates me so much he can certainly move out. He'll be 20 in a few days and his dad would certainly let him move in, he has his own room there already. But nope. Stay and complain. Makes no sense. Only 1 brother that’s 12 at your house versus 2 younger siblings 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ Well, they're not that much younger, they're 8 and 10. I think the main reason is his dad would make him work. He constantly has multiple big projects going on and sitting around gaming would not go over well.
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