minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 7, 2021 17:06:56 GMT -5
They got back to me with 5 dates. Three are in the first couple weeks of school, one is while he's away at scout camp and one is the week he's supposed to be at his grandparents. So much for just needing two weeks notice. I'm going to have to talk to the grandparents I guess.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 8, 2021 7:16:53 GMT -5
MPL - Christmas break isn't all that far off if you don't want to screw up summer plans.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 8, 2021 9:21:13 GMT -5
DD12 had an embarrassing leak before swim practice this morning. DD8 was very supportive, and DD12 was glad she didn't have to hide the info from her lil sis about why they were scooting out of there and fibbing about a dr's appt text.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2021 11:45:15 GMT -5
MPL - Christmas break isn't all that far off if you don't want to screw up summer plans. I thought about that...especially since I'm not really sure about this...but the grandparents were fine with swapping weeks. I wasn't sure if they had stuff reserved already or not, and they had not, so he's scheduled for 8/12. There's a practical reason to having it earlier. I'm probably going to hit my OOP max for him with surgery and I wanted to get him some therapy as well for his anxiety. He's scheduled for that starting in August as well and I think it's about $200/session so might as well go all in. He had zero medical bills last year. Not a nickel.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 8, 2021 11:50:42 GMT -5
Does his school have a counselor? We've had great luck with that for DD12. I recognize it's luck though as our school is fortunate to have one that we share with a couple other schools and also lucky that DD connected well with her.
We'll be asked about next year soon, and she will tell me she doesn't need it. But, man is it nice for her to have a trained, neutral third party to speak to. I may suggest she go once/month just to maintain that connection.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 8, 2021 11:55:19 GMT -5
I don't think the school has much for counselors. It's a private Catholic school and I know I didn't have much luck with his older brother in that department. He was getting covered by a state program at the public charter when he was younger where he saw an outside counselor for free, but when he transferred to the private school they basically told him he was SOL. Definitely one of the drawbacks of the school is not as many resources like that.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 8, 2021 18:29:48 GMT -5
DD1 was wearing a regular bra somewhere between 10 and 11. I don't remember quite anymore. Her boobs came in early, but she didn't get her period until a more normal time frame. I think the peanut is getting breast buds. At first, I thought she put a little pudge on during the pandemic. I have NO idea what we are going to do with the peanut, because she's got clothing sensory issues. She's about a size 12, but she's mostly wears size 16/18 or men's small t-shirts, boys athletic shorts, and boys boxer/brief undies. Finding these undies has been a win...shes been going commando. So, I'm choosing to just let it go for now.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 9, 2021 12:16:21 GMT -5
Youngest just got some. She is 10 and getting enough where you can see them through some clothes, she is also as tall as I am. But we also tend to run large in the breast size on both sides of her gene pool. I think the oldest was around this age too. We just went with sports bras that you can pull over the head.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 9, 2021 15:55:23 GMT -5
K wears sports bras, mostly. WE started with the Target and Kohls stuff and now need to measure her unless she's picking out sports bras. She started her periods a while back. She had it on vacation and tried to use Tampax but it was a nogo, per my Mom and older sister. I didn't know they were even trying until it was all over.
I'm so not mobile right now that they park me in a chair and brought me everything I needed. And when I tried to get up, someone was always asking me what I needed. I needed to get up and move.
We got rid of the swingset today. One of the neighbors overheard my Dad, I think, saying we needed to take it out front of the house and see if someone would come take it. Dad's hearing is going and he's not a quiet speaker. So they came over and offered to buy it. We got it for free from my sister's neighbor. The kids have written in marker on it so I'm assuming they're going to paint it. Most of the writing is names and American Ninja Warrior stuff, nothing offensive.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jul 10, 2021 8:24:25 GMT -5
Sleep apnea can actually increase anxiety.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jul 12, 2021 8:13:05 GMT -5
My oldest daughter was 13 yesterday. Hard to believe we have a teenager! She had a good day and was in a great mood and I hope (but am not convinced) that life is going to get easier. The last year or so she's been pretty awful to live with at times. I'm sure a lot of it is hormonal because one day she's delightful and the next she's an ogre but I realized that sometimes she has a depressive affect on me. I don't mean clinical but just that she really brings down my mood.
Of course, there are also the times where she makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with her. I guess this is why babies are so cute ... you store up all that love and pleasure to get you through adolescence!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 12, 2021 14:03:52 GMT -5
The 2nd platform bed came thru. It's in K's room and her new mattress is on it and she's reorganizing her room to use the storage cubbies built into the base of the bed. She's got most of her stuffed animals in the cubbies. Shes's not ready to get rid of them yet. They can wait. She's only 13.
C has taken to slamming his bedroom door when he's upset. Which I find frustrating as well as noisy. But I'm trying to let it go. He's 11. He's also gained a lot of weight during Covid. He's not doing Ninja anymore either. But he eats like a teenager boy. And Dh keeps buying tons of snacks along with fruit. C eats both the fruit and the high carb snacks. I think I need to tell Dh to buy less of the snacks.
Did I tell you guys we got rid of our swingset? The kids weren't using it anymore and the nieghbors offered to buy it. We gave it to them. It's close to end of life anyway. They movwed it on Friday and the yard seems so much bigger.
I'm thinking about selling off part of my comic book collection. It's not worth much but I want to sort out the office and this will give us some space to work in. Now I just need to get DH on board and to start him on getting rid of compiuters and printers that have accumulated in there. MyComicShop.com has the best prices I've seen, not that I've looked hard, for comics. In case anyone else has comics to get rid of.
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mollyc
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Post by mollyc on Jul 12, 2021 14:14:01 GMT -5
My oldest daughter was 13 yesterday. Hard to believe we have a teenager! She had a good day and was in a great mood and I hope (but am not convinced) that life is going to get easier. The last year or so she's been pretty awful to live with at times. I'm sure a lot of it is hormonal because one day she's delightful and the next she's an ogre but I realized that sometimes she has a depressive affect on me. I don't mean clinical but just that she really brings down my mood. Of course, there are also the times where she makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with her. I guess this is why babies are so cute ... you store up all that love and pleasure to get you through adolescence! Sometime near the end of Grade 6 most of the girls and boys in DD's class went "insane" (as described by one Mom). Everyone switched friends or became enemies and all were most noticeably quick to bad moods. My supervisor's husband had been a high school teacher/principal for decades. He told me that for the most part they would all start becoming human again around 16 years and hang in there. With the exception of dance competitions, it was certainly true of DD so "hang in there".
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 12, 2021 15:12:55 GMT -5
Sleep apnea can actually increase anxiety. I wish I knew how bad his apnea really was. I was reading through the ENT's notes from the appointment and some sounds like he's just trying to justify surgery. He noted "frequent snoring" and I never said that at all. I said he inhales and stops breathing and is like holding his breath then will let it out really slowly and makes a wheezing noise when he's doing that, but it's definitely not snoring in the typical sense. He also wrote that prior to 2020 he had multiple ear/strep infections annually and I know I told him he'd usually have one or the other ONCE/year.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 12, 2021 16:24:54 GMT -5
MPL, what you're describing is definitely apnea. DH had/has it, and uses a CPAP. It's made a world of difference. It is not snoring.
The doctor may be noting things so that the procedure will code as indicated, and insurance will pay for it. Insurance companies really don't like it when doctors say, "In my clinical judgment this procedure is indicated" without easy-to-tick-off boxes that mean the same thing. It's a lousy system in many ways.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 12, 2021 17:08:50 GMT -5
Insurance also didn't like it when my key hole surgery turned in to open surgery and it wasn't pre-approved. Doctor's office had to send them something so they paid. That's a decision made in the operating room.c v
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jul 12, 2021 20:22:37 GMT -5
Thank you ladies for the suggestions and thoughts on my training bra question. azucena - DD and I started reading the AG book you mentioned. I had gotten it a few weeks ago at the library for her to read in our own time. Let's just say with 2 renewals, she hadn't started it so we've been reading it at night some nights. I was really modest as a kid so I wasn't always vocal when I needed to be. I don't remember getting my first bra. I just remember not wearing a bra in 7th grade one day and felt really uncomfortable. Other than that, I don't remember anything else related to bras and this timeframe.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 13, 2021 3:56:30 GMT -5
My oldest daughter was 13 yesterday. Hard to believe we have a teenager! She had a good day and was in a great mood and I hope (but am not convinced) that life is going to get easier. The last year or so she's been pretty awful to live with at times. I'm sure a lot of it is hormonal because one day she's delightful and the next she's an ogre but I realized that sometimes she has a depressive affect on me. I don't mean clinical but just that she really brings down my mood. Of course, there are also the times where she makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with her. I guess this is why babies are so cute ... you store up all that love and pleasure to get you through adolescence! I'm glad you can enjoy the best your DD offers. I'm ashamed of this now, but when my DD was 13 I realized I had gotten into a habit of being very critical of her. It colored every interaction I had with her and of course made things so much worse. I still remember my anger at her, for things like refusing to wear a (much needed) bra, or to do homework, or sit up straight as she ate, or for rolling her eyes at me. I was awful to her. One day I realized how I sounded and recognized how poisonous I was for her. I stopped. From then on I made it a point to express good things I saw in her, how kind she was to animals, what a wonderful and adventurous cook she was becoming, how amazing was the paper she wrote for science class. I asked her what clothing she wanted to wear and complimented her on the color or whatever for what she chose. She was into a hippie style. I did fail at times, but turned the ship around over time. She did change some, but mainly I changed as I developed a new habit of finding good in her. The rest of the world would give her enough critical messaging as she grew. It was difficult but I could empathize with her loneliness and frustration and anger, enough to feel closer to her. She did do some problematic things but I deliberately chose to ask her about them rather than just berate her. She was challenging often enough, but I did and do love her and like her, too. Now at 35 (that was so fast!) she is a thoughtful, loving, intelligent young woman with the capacity to do almost anything.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 13, 2021 7:31:45 GMT -5
I'm ashamed of this now, but when my DD was 13 I realized I had gotten into a habit of being very critical of her. I have to be very careful of this too. I do this to the kids (and myself) all the time. The latest that is driving me nuts is older son's hair. He's gone full on afro lately and it bugs me, but it's just hair and his hair to boot, why I can't stop myself from mentioning he should get a haircut all the time is beyond me, but I do it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 17, 2021 11:22:57 GMT -5
So last night I had to reassure Gwen that a hamster bite was not going to result in rabies and no she did not need the shot. Apparently the hamster has never been to a vet before. We don't own rodents of any type because I don't want them coming back for revenge over their fallen brethren so I am assuming she was thinking about dog bites. She knows Charlotte has to get one every year and if you get bit and vaccine status is unknown you have to get the shots. She also knows not to go near wild animals for the same reason. Makes some sense she'd be concerned about other animal bites. I googled it and apparently hamsters are not reservoirs. They could POSSIBLY be if they come in contact with a common carrier but let's be honest if a rabid dog gets ahold of your hamster it's probably not going to live long enough to give you rabies. Not a question I ever thought I would be asked.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 19, 2021 11:09:37 GMT -5
Curious what folks pay for babysitting (or what their teens charge). DD12 has been helping a few families we know. We've set her rate at $7-8/hour. She's young, doesn't need the money, can't get any other job, and should learn the value of money. As she gets older and starts watching multiple kids, infants, etc we'll increase it. We expect that by charging less, she'll get asked back way more often as the parents can actually afford multiple date nights. Plus, I've been coaching DD that the favorite sitters always clean up after themselves (meals, toys, etc) and even beyond. She remembers this from our own sitter list. I expect a grateful parent to maybe tip a bit when that's noticeable.
She went to be a mother's helper this week for a new family. The mom was there getting caught up on laundry while DD played with the 3 yo. The nap schedule got off, so she was only there for an hour. The mom gave her $25. DD tried to say that way too much, she said the mom was obviously flustered and just kept pulling out bills. I'll try talk to that mom tonight at the swim meet and see if I can help straighten it out and return some of the money.
This topic comes up all the time on my local fb mommy groups. In the StL MCOLA, seems $12/hour is the min rate for one child and then folks this week were talking about up to $25/hour with some teens varying their rate/hour by time of day (late night was more). All of that is just plain crazy to me. Seems to be a bit mixed up with the min wage debates and also lots of comments about why would you pay someone so little to watch your precious kids.
Trying to figure out how out of touch I am and always appreciate the insights here.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jul 19, 2021 12:51:36 GMT -5
I have no idea what babysitting costs these days! When I was in college, I babysat for some professors, and I thought I was doing good because they paid minimum wage!
I'm just drowning over here - we moved at the beginning of July and the kids have just been unbearable since then. We were on vacation last week, and DH leaves Wednesday and the kids and I stay until Saturday with my parents. Well, they were so horrendous that we all came home on Wednesday because I couldn't do it anymore. Not listening, fighting with each other, talking back, etc.
I don't know if it is because it is summer or because we moved to a new house at the beginning of the month or what. (We built a new house five minutes from where we used to live - so it wasn't a shock that we moved - we have been waiting for it to be finished for 8.5 months!).
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jul 19, 2021 13:25:14 GMT -5
$10/hour is the minimum I’ve seen in KC. And then add $5/hour/kid on top of that.
That said, I’ve only ever hired a favorite daycare teacher, and she always tries to tell me I pay too much as I give her $20/hour. I know she’s working for peanuts at the daycare, my kids (especially M) adore her, and they’re in great hands, so she’s worth every penny.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 19, 2021 15:03:16 GMT -5
Way back when I babysat for 25 cents an hour, late nights and New Year's Eve were higher. Often on New Year's Eve, the parents had me stay over and they took me home the next morning.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jul 19, 2021 15:31:00 GMT -5
$10 minimum for teenage girls. When we used the students who were working at the daycare (my daughters' daycare was on a university campus) the rates started at $12 and when we quit using them about 3 years ago it was $18 per hour.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 20, 2021 6:50:55 GMT -5
Some of this depends on the area. For a college kid, I would expect to pay at least 15/hour in a MCOLA for two kids.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 22, 2021 6:31:29 GMT -5
Mom win - this morning it dawned on me that I could cut through my summer homework grading pile by having DD12 grade DD8's work. DD12 wants to be a teacher so it's a win-win. Well, depends on the tween mood when she hears of this plan LOL. I have a huge stack of last week and this week from both girls. I can grade DD12's while I'm in boring work calls today.
And, yes, I'm the mean mom who assigns summer homework. Mostly math worksheets to review prior yr concepts to shore up anything they need more work on and mostly just to make sure they don't atrophy in math during the 3 month break. About 45 mins worth of work for DD12 and includes some English parts of speech and vocab since that's her strong suit and I'm slightly peeking ahead to SAT prep without any pressure. About 30 mins for DD8 because math is her strong suit, I'm pushing her just a bit with the next grade's book, and she considers homework fun still. We've hit a reasonable routine of homework packet sitting on the table that they do after swim team, during breakfast. Then, they do the 4-5 chores (30-60 mins) I've listed, and then they have free time til mid-afternoon. Then usually an hour or two of tv if the morning stuff is done.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 22, 2021 12:19:44 GMT -5
And, yes, I'm the mean mom who assigns summer homework. Mostly math worksheets to review prior yr concepts to shore up anything they need more work on and mostly just to make sure they don't atrophy in math during the 3 month break. I used to do that every year as well then last year threw me totally off my game. Now we're down to only 4 weeks left and one week will be at visiting grandparents.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 22, 2021 16:11:14 GMT -5
MPL - never too late to start. Every little bit of extra math makes a difference.
The grading worked out even better than I expected. DD8 messed up a whole sheet on apostrophes, so DD12 went into future English teacher mode and was doing a terrific job explaining it. Meanwhile DD8 was moaning about it being too hard, she can't possibly do it, mom's mean, etc. It was a perfect example of this imposter syndrome that smart girls put themselves thru. DD12 and I had a long conversation about because she and I both have that too. So many school things come easy that then when we face something we don't immediately get, it's like we go into shutdown mode, it's too hard, I can't do it, etc. And then of course it feels even harder bc brain is in flight mode. Couldn't have planned a better teaching moment.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 24, 2021 11:37:10 GMT -5
Just got a call from the scout camp up north saying they had an incident report for my son that wasn't complete and they needed an address to include in the file. Of course, I asked WHAT incident and the guy didn't know, but he would call me back. My head was going crazy thinking Carrot had a panic attack or got hurt or something. He called me back and said storms went through the area last night and a tree branch fell and destroyed his tent. They said Carrot wasn't hurt at all, they just needed to document the incident. Soooo...really interested to see how my anxiety-ridden, storm-phobic kid is when he gets home this afternoon. I see this going one of two ways. Either he never wants to get in a tent again or it boosts his confidence in being able to handle scary situations.
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