gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Aug 3, 2020 10:53:42 GMT -5
OMG I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! Apparently him eating my food is not comparable because he has no income and I have a responsibility to feed my kids.
Remind me why he has no income...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 3, 2020 11:07:07 GMT -5
I unfriended dh's parents on fb. Mil posted something that started with, "I was ok with you being gay until you had to shove it down my throat" and unfriending will create far less drama than any response I would have provided. (It's a stupid meme, nothing directed at us, but seriously if that was them being ok with gays, I'd hate to think what they would have done if they weren't.) I see them at most quarterly. Last visit mil started to bring up blm protests and my response was... not classy so no ones really missing me. Even sil who I adore, but everything has to be on their terms, and I'm done making that work. If plans work out for me, great, otherwise see ya next time. It's the least conflicted I've ever felt about my in-laws. It's hard when dh wants to vent about them. I listen to what I can tolerate and walk away from that too. Drama - I'd totally pay her back for the a.c. unit and disconnect. Tell dh that you don't want him sharing info with his family about your family. Id warn my parents and ask/suggest that they remove any connections they have to your inlaws. Keep them on a low info diet. Yep. MIL does that shit too. My solution was anytime she called something a loan, I sent it back to her ASAP. I can afford to replace end tables and coffee pots and Lord only knows what other stuff. The other thing I did was everytime she's complain about how her house was so full because it was full of FIL, DH or BIL's stuff (certainly not her!), I tell her to call us when she finds DH's stuff and we will come get it. I think we've gotten a couple of small boxes of toys and that's it. No, MIL, the junk in your house is NOT DH's. But it did stop her from complaining about it to us, which was my end goal.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 11:12:25 GMT -5
OMG I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! Apparently him eating my food is not comparable because he has no income and I have a responsibility to feed my kids.
Remind me why he has no income... I so want to ask him if I quit my job if the rules are that grandma has to take over my bills, but I figured that would just get him all worked up. I just can't believe I raised such an entitled asshole. He was never like this before.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 11:32:11 GMT -5
MPL , Tell him that he's welcome to buy his own food and that he shouldn't have quit his job. Perhaps he needs to get another job quick. Start by looking at pizza restaurants. I told him if he preferred to purchase all his own food over sharing that was fine. He said, "So, the kid with no income buying himself a pizza is comparable to his mom who has a responsibility to feed her kids. Got it." I just bought this 18 year old "kid" an $1100 laptop last week.
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oped
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Post by oped on Aug 3, 2020 11:35:51 GMT -5
Obligation to feed. Not obligation to feed pizza...
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 3, 2020 13:09:40 GMT -5
Just because he's an entitled asshole this year, doesn't mean he will be one when his brain is fully formed. You raised him right - I have hope it will stick, it's just buried under nerves and hormones right now.
Please feel free to remind me of this advice in the coming years as DD11 is now 12 LOL.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 3, 2020 13:19:59 GMT -5
MPL , Tell him that he's welcome to buy his own food and that he shouldn't have quit his job. Perhaps he needs to get another job quick. Start by looking at pizza restaurants. I told him if he preferred to purchase all his own food over sharing that was fine. He said, "So, the kid with no income buying himself a pizza is comparable to his mom who has a responsibility to feed her kids. Got it." I just bought this 18 year old "kid" an $1100 laptop last week. Mom eating pizza = not murdering your entitled bitch ass in a fit of hungry rage.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 3, 2020 13:21:37 GMT -5
MPL , Tell him that he's welcome to buy his own food and that he shouldn't have quit his job. Perhaps he needs to get another job quick. Start by looking at pizza restaurants. I told him if he preferred to purchase all his own food over sharing that was fine. He said, "So, the kid with no income buying himself a pizza is comparable to his mom who has a responsibility to feed her kids. Got it." I just bought this 18 year old "kid" an $1100 laptop last week. But that was last week. And he wasn't hungry for pizza then.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 13:24:43 GMT -5
He also says "it's funny because that was the slice I was saving for Carrot". I'm not sure if that particular slice was special or what (there were 4 left), but Carrot is probably the only kid on the planet that doesn't like pizza, so...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 3, 2020 13:33:02 GMT -5
He also says "it's funny because that was the slice I was saving for Carrot". I'm not sure if that particular slice was special or what (there were 4 left), but Carrot is probably the only kid on the planet that doesn't like pizza, so... Ah, so he was planning on offering it to his brother, then eat it himself when Carrot refused it.
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oped
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Post by oped on Aug 3, 2020 13:54:20 GMT -5
OMG you took food directly out of your youngest child’s mouth...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 3, 2020 14:04:05 GMT -5
He also says "it's funny because that was the slice I was saving for Carrot". I'm not sure if that particular slice was special or what (there were 4 left), but Carrot is probably the only kid on the planet that doesn't like pizza, so... Thank you for this. I was afraid that I'm the only one here with an asshole for a kid. Everytime I ask DD to do anything (even including pick up after herself) I get eye rolling, heavy sighs, "why do I have to do everything around here" and "why don't you make DS do it?", but DS just does what I ask him to do, and then goes back to what he was doing. He also picks things up and takes the garbage out without being asked. Then it's "You like DS better than me." then she next asks if I will buy her x. I'm so done with her.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 14:07:24 GMT -5
He also says "it's funny because that was the slice I was saving for Carrot". I'm not sure if that particular slice was special or what (there were 4 left), but Carrot is probably the only kid on the planet that doesn't like pizza, so... Thank you for this. I was afraid that I'm the only one here with an asshole for a kid. Everytime I ask DD to do anything (even including pick up after herself) I get eye rolling, heavy sighs, "why do I have to do everything around here" and "why don't you make DS do it?", but DS just does what I ask him to do, and then goes back to what he was doing. He also picks things up and takes the garbage out without being asked. Then it's "You like DS better than me." then she next asks if I will buy her x. I'm so done with her. Oh no! And you have so many years left of this yet!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 14:13:02 GMT -5
My ex just called me. I had emailed him complaining about being at my wits end so he called DS. He asked me if I was going to break down crying on the phone too because he was having a hard enough time not crying himself after listening to DS. We're such a mess!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 14:18:46 GMT -5
Years ago I had a friend who had the perfect comeback when her kids would ask for something that they couldn't buy themselves. She'd say "I can do that, if you'll do __________ for me." She always made the __________ at least equal to the value of what they wanted (if not monetarily, then of value to her).
She had another good one when her kids would come to her with a problem that they needed to solve without her help. "That is a problem. I'll be interested to hear how you solve it."
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Aug 3, 2020 14:53:13 GMT -5
Thank you for this. I was afraid that I'm the only one here with an asshole for a kid. Everytime I ask DD to do anything (even including pick up after herself) I get eye rolling, heavy sighs, "why do I have to do everything around here" and "why don't you make DS do it?", but DS just does what I ask him to do, and then goes back to what he was doing. He also picks things up and takes the garbage out without being asked. Then it's "You like DS better than me." then she next asks if I will buy her x. I'm so done with her. Sounds very familiar....
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Aug 3, 2020 15:05:04 GMT -5
OMG I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! Apparently him eating my food is not comparable because he has no income and I have a responsibility to feed my kids.
My oldest is like this . I always tell DH - what’s his is his and apparently what’s ours is his . 🤦♀️ But his younger brother is much better at “sharing”
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 15:05:41 GMT -5
I swear to god that "Why do I have to do everything around here" line coming from a kid is the WORST.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 3, 2020 15:34:00 GMT -5
He also says "it's funny because that was the slice I was saving for Carrot". I'm not sure if that particular slice was special or what (there were 4 left), but Carrot is probably the only kid on the planet that doesn't like pizza, so... Thank you for this. I was afraid that I'm the only one here with an asshole for a kid. Everytime I ask DD to do anything (even including pick up after herself) I get eye rolling, heavy sighs, "why do I have to do everything around here" and "why don't you make DS do it?", but DS just does what I ask him to do, and then goes back to what he was doing. He also picks things up and takes the garbage out without being asked. Then it's "You like DS better than me." then she next asks if I will buy her x. I'm so done with her. When did Gwen move to your house? I often now answer "Yes I like Abby more than you right now because she's not being an asshole!" Switch names as the situation calls for it.
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mollyc
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Post by mollyc on Aug 3, 2020 16:53:14 GMT -5
Sorry to everyone with kid troubles.
My mom had a daughter, 2 sons then 2 more daughters. She was of the opinion that boys were harder as youngsters and girls were harder as teens.
She would have slapped your son hard for talking back like that. And she wasn’t that big on corporal punishment although it did occasionally come into play.
Regarding daughters, my supervisor’s DH was a high school teacher then prinicipal for 35+ years. He is of the opinion that all kids lose their senses around 12 but starting around 16, girls start to become human again and most of them are quite pleasant by 18. Sometimes he was even sad to see them graduate.
Hugs and good luck
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 3, 2020 17:04:41 GMT -5
Remind me why he has no income... I so want to ask him if I quit my job if the rules are that grandma has to take over my bills, but I figured that would just get him all worked up. I just can't believe I raised such an entitled asshole. He was never like this before.
We've all had these moments with them. Once he goes of to school, you'll like him much better. T1 and I were ready to murder each other before she left for college. Now at 22 we call/text daily and she's over once a week at minimum. It gets better. Just hang in there.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 3, 2020 17:06:29 GMT -5
I told him if he preferred to purchase all his own food over sharing that was fine. He said, "So, the kid with no income buying himself a pizza is comparable to his mom who has a responsibility to feed her kids. Got it." I just bought this 18 year old "kid" an $1100 laptop last week. Mom eating pizza = not murdering your entitled bitch ass in a fit of hungry rage. Please text him exactly that and report back.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 18:09:10 GMT -5
Well, I came home to him being all apologetic and in tears with a bucket of cookie dough as a peace offering. He said he doesn't know why he's being so hostile and trying to antagonize me all the time. I don't know if his dad got to him or what, but for the moment calm is restored in the household.
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oped
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Post by oped on Aug 3, 2020 18:22:58 GMT -5
He's leaving home. Its hard. And there is a pandemic. Hell, I spent the last 3 days bursting in to tears and raging alternately. And I'm not a teenager, thanks be...
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Aug 3, 2020 19:06:39 GMT -5
The cookie dough was a nice touch...unless you paid for it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2020 19:47:21 GMT -5
The cookie dough was a nice touch...unless you paid for it. I'd better check my credit card. But, I think he got it free from Papa Murphy for filling out the survey from his pizza.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 3, 2020 20:45:20 GMT -5
I'm trying not to lose it on the kids. I asked them to put away their folded clothes, unload the dishwasher, and pick up dog poop. We're talking 20 minutes of chores if they really took their time picking up poop.
Many days they are great and then there are days like today.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 3, 2020 21:05:07 GMT -5
Well, I came home to him being all apologetic and in tears with a bucket of cookie dough as a peace offering. He said he doesn't know why he's being so hostile and trying to antagonize me all the time. I don't know if his dad got to him or what, but for the moment calm is restored in the household. Maybe he sensed impending death. I swear kids have a built in sensor that goes off right as you are about to take them out of this world. Then they turn sweet reminding you why you brought them into it. Thus lulling you in a false sense of security until.the next time....🤔
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 4, 2020 7:25:08 GMT -5
DH has a new great nephew. Born yesterday.
I was thinking the other day because MIL was talking about how V wanted a "natural birth" and how she ended up getting an epidural. Why do we talk about wanting pain management as some sort of personal failure when it comes to women? Why do we need to assure others that we were intending to go "all natural" when it is none of their business?
If I get wisdom teeth out I don't insist on going "all natural". If I had my appendix removed I would not insist on no drugs because it's not natural. I'd take pain medication to manage things rather than insist on going "all natural".
Now I know I am calling forth Singlemom by discussing this. The overall risks/complications of a properly done epidural are relatively small if you read the actual literature so why are we scaring the crap out of other women? I am all for making your own informed decision and being your own advocate but I remember being in tears after my birth class when all the other women proudly proclaimed they would be giving birth the good old fashioned natural way and here I was thinking if I am in enough pain I'm asking for drugs in the parking lot.
Why? It was none of their business what my birth plan was nor mine theirs. So why did I feel such shame in having different ideas on how I was going to manage birthing my kids?
You know if men were the ones to give birth epidurals would be given on the day of conception. So why do we women put so much pressure on ourselves to push something the size of a bowling ball out a hole the size of a lemon without any kind of management and then try to shame ourselves and other women when we change our minds?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 4, 2020 7:58:50 GMT -5
I don't know Drama. I loved my epi. My sister hated hers as it was done incorrectly. I don't remember much about the birth classes except for being unable to keep up with the instructor and trying to figure out how to breathe and stuff on my own. Oh, and the guys needing to wear a backpack on their chests with increasing amounts of weight put in to demonstrate how one's sense of balance and gravity changes during a pregnancy.
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