azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 14, 2020 14:05:50 GMT -5
Yeah, my 7 yo has been melting down on a nearly daily basis. About mundane things that typically wouldn't bother her. DH doesn't have the patience for it, but I can see that she's really crying about this overall situation so I'm trying to be extra gracious. But man it's tough because my own patience is very thin. She felt the best after the night we both just sat in bed and cried together because she could see that I get it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 14, 2020 14:56:46 GMT -5
Carrot and I both lost it. I'm getting stressed out not being able to get my work done while at home...especially now that we got told NO OT...which just means I'll be working for free evenings and weekends trying to stay caught up, and Carrot is struggling to keep all his stuff organized and turned in on time. We were doing ok, but the Friday/Monday days off totally threw us because they still had assigned work, but said to save it until Tuesday. Now myself I would have done it on those days anyhow, but my kid took the save it until Tuesday as gospel and now he's drowning. It really isn't that much work, but he writes at about a 1/10 of the speed of a normal 4th grader. This is where we're at. My C broke down in tears Sunday night worried that he's missing assignments and nothing he's doing is good enough, but also that the work is too easy. E spent most of her class time yesterday sharpening pencils. My job hasn't even changed that much since I've worked from home for years, but it's completely different and I'm exhausted. All the good things I was doing when this started has fallen away. Now I just eat. It's really bad. Gwen broke down a week or so ago and cut her hair. She had a fit about something then her bangs were driving her nuts so she took scissors to them. She was going to cut even more but we talked her down. Abby has constant tantrums over the smallest things. DH keeps saying it's about control and I agree, but it's not the same context right now. We need to be a little more patient with her. I've lost all the progress I've made managing my anxiety. I've taken to drinking when I am at the resturant, I am trying not to bring it home with me. I am back to emotional shopping on a pretty consistent basis and stress eating. I gave up on school work. Two months is not going to mean a lot in the grand scheme of things and IF (big IF) they do go back it's already been discussed that they will go over everything anyhow. So why add even more stress to our lives? I am not going to fight the teachers, I know they are being ordered to do what they are doing to justify paying them, but screw the school system, screw Iowa as a state. Screw my job and screw the universe as a whole. I am spent. I've cried when I woke up the last two days. I feel terribly physically, the stress and anxiety is eating me alive. DH is back to taking antidepressants because he's breaking down. I am sure the kids are picking up on that too.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Apr 14, 2020 15:16:54 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady I'm a fan of Ask a Manager and you can ABSOLUTELY take a few days off. DH and I are both working from home too ... we have ZERO kids at home! And it's stressful enough! It's totally different if you DO have (younger) kids at home. Ideally your manager should take that into consideration, but there is NOTHING wrong with taking a couple of days off to "catch up".
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ners
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Post by ners on Apr 14, 2020 15:19:15 GMT -5
Hugs to all who need hugs.
I do not have children. I had a breakdown 7 days into working from home. I took a 1/2 day off. It helped a bit. I am struggling with the work from home.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 15:24:22 GMT -5
My kids are grown, I'm retired, and I meltdown on an almost daily basis.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Apr 14, 2020 15:27:15 GMT -5
I don't have kids at home anymore and I had a meltdown nearly two weeks ago. I had to ask my boss if I could postpone some classes. (Normally I wouldn't have needed to ask her for permission but there was a final exam involved.)
The ONLY reason I'm not having another meltdown (yet) is that it's the end of the semester, I've just had 4 glorious days off, and my teaching load has decreased by 50% as of this week.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 15:28:29 GMT -5
My problem with taking days off is that the work continues to pile up and then I come back even more overwhelmed. I'm now considering just ignoring everything but the major fires during my work hours and logging in at nights/weekends (without punching the clock) when Carrot is sleeping and most of the office is out for the day (not bugging me) to do my catch up. It sucks because it means putting in way more hours for the same money, but I "have" to be present during my scheduled hours. They're not allowing us to shift times.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 15:29:41 GMT -5
I don't want to say I'm GLAD to hear that everyone is having problems, but you know...nice to not be the only one.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Apr 14, 2020 15:33:33 GMT -5
MPL can you try to do the lion's share during workdays, ie 6h a day? Then yes, do as you suggest for the other 2h.
But you shouldn't have to spend all day "at work" doing half your hours and then trying to do the other half late at night.
That's just not realistic ... not to mention, what about your colleagues with infants or toddlers or even younger children?!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 15:41:05 GMT -5
That's probably all I'd do anyhow. But I can see spending 4 or 5 hours on a Saturday or Sunday trying to catch up.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 14, 2020 15:48:31 GMT -5
We had a lot of volume in early March before shit got real so I was working a ton through March and now I'm working 6-7 days a week. Wouldn't be needed but I spend my morning jumping between kids and work so not much is accomplished between 8-noon.
Dh has tackled some projects which is nice but he's letting the kids do way too much screen time.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Apr 14, 2020 15:53:52 GMT -5
No kids here either. Just a 53 year old toddler. Most of the time he isn't too bad but then some days he needs to go into the bathroom about 5 times and other days he's calling me downstairs to pick up cat puke or whatever else. And don't get me started on YouTube! I'M WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What part of WORKING DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?! GO AWAY!!! I desperately want to put on my headphones but I can't. I do have my speakers jacked up quite nicely though Is it bad that I now consider Mondays vacation days because I have to go into the office?
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Apr 14, 2020 15:55:00 GMT -5
That's probably all I'd do anyhow. But I can see spending 4 or 5 hours on a Saturday or Sunday trying to catch up. Yeah, no. No OT, no worky. If they want me caught up that badly, they should have thought of that earlier,
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 14, 2020 15:57:37 GMT -5
We had a lot of volume in early March before shit got real so I was working a ton through March and now I'm working 6-7 days a week. Wouldn't be needed but I spend my morning jumping between kids and work so not much is accomplished between 8-noon. Dh has tackled some projects which is nice but he's letting the kids do way too much screen time. I am pretty sure at this point screens are raising my kids.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 16:05:58 GMT -5
That's probably all I'd do anyhow. But I can see spending 4 or 5 hours on a Saturday or Sunday trying to catch up. Yeah, no. No OT, no worky. If they want me caught up that badly, they should have thought of that earlier, Normally I would agree with you, but the thing is, I am incredibly inefficient working from home on a card table in my bedroom with my 9 year old sitting 10 feet away trying to do his school work at the same time. I mean, he's going to have questions on how to do things...he has All. The. Questions. I'm running to town to pick up lunches, running to the livingroom when I hear a puking cat to clean up after it. Hitting all the "Free Snacks" in the work from home break room way too much... Really, I'm ripping them off during the day and feel I need to give them more hours to make up for it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 16:36:10 GMT -5
We had a lot of volume in early March before shit got real so I was working a ton through March and now I'm working 6-7 days a week. Wouldn't be needed but I spend my morning jumping between kids and work so not much is accomplished between 8-noon. Dh has tackled some projects which is nice but he's letting the kids do way too much screen time. I am pretty sure at this point screens are raising my kids. The last Wednesday Carrot was at his dad's his dad let him take home the Switch for the first time ever. It was just a fluke, he had no way of knowing he wouldn't be back for weeks/months. I am cursing that day. We'd probably be ok with screen time if it wasn't for that damn thing, but apparently his best friend's parents let him play Fortnite online on the Switch all freaking day, so it's a constant fight. No amount of time I give him is enough. None.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 14, 2020 16:50:37 GMT -5
Can older son be available to help for an hour or two? I forget how old carrot is but ive got my first grader doing two hours and putting real subjects and homework first. If she doesnt get to art, or spelling word searches whatever.
My 6th grader is doing 3 or4 hours of work which seems about right. She is a motivated student.
This week I went back to my typical work schedule of starting at 6 am. Means I have 2 hours before new emails start or the kids need homework help. Could you do that to be more productive?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2020 19:25:30 GMT -5
Carrot is in 4th grade. I think a typical kid could get the work done a lot faster, but he writes soooooo slooooow. Seriously, I didn't realize how bad that was until now, so feeling pretty good about that. Older son might be able to help some, but he doesn't really have a big block of time. He has class from 9-1:30 and tends to sleep in until pretty close to the start of class, then he leaves most days around 3 to go to work, but I think his classes are kind of sporadic. Like one day he'll have a live class for the entire class period and the next day it might just be a 10 minute one.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 16, 2020 3:02:56 GMT -5
Normally I would agree with you, but the thing is, I am incredibly inefficient working from home on a card table in my bedroom with my 9 year old sitting 10 feet away trying to do his school work at the same time. I mean, he's going to have questions on how to do things...he has All. The. Questions. I'm running to town to pick up lunches, running to the livingroom when I hear a puking cat to clean up after it. Hitting all the "Free Snacks" in the work from home break room way too much... Really, I'm ripping them off during the day and feel I need to give them more hours to make up for it. Can you switch it up and get some homework done on the weekends? It totally sucks that I spend 3ish hours on Sundays doing homework with the peanut. But, that means less time during the week..Plus, we take time Sunday to review the week ahead and plan it out what will work for us for that week. The teachers put together a suggested schedule, but we find we have to work ahead of that.
What time do you all get up? We're up at 6:30, here. If I have my crap together, we're starting in school at 7:30.
Can you block out time at home to work, and really force yourself to stay within those blocks to work. I mean, what happens when the cat pukes and you aren't at home? I assume the puke waits for you... Also, what would happen if instead of big blocks of time, you switched it up and thought in smaller blocks? We've been at this for four weeks, now...so I know how long, generally it takes to get through things. I know it's different because you do Montessori-based..and we have more traditional approaches..There are some things that I can have the peanut do, on her own, like practicing writing her spelling words. That's a 10 minute task. Drilling math facts is 5. We don't need a big block of time to work through some of these.
Reading out of her story book and doing 10 pages in the accompanying workbook takes 3.5-4 hours to get through. We do most of it on Sunday...in a couple of 1-1.5 hour chunks.
What is taking forever with the writing? For the peanut, she has to do everything in cursive, and she's slowed down with thinking about letter formation. She also has no imagination. Like, can't make up a story to save her life. So, when she has writing assignments, we do a quick sloppy copy in printing. This helps her just focus on her thoughts. I correct all the grammar mistakes, and then she does her final copy in cursive. When we get to the good copy, she can do that completely on her own, except for when she can't read my handwriting. The process seems slow, but actually, I think it goes faster in the long run. (We had to do this process with my son, too.) Does Carrot have to write? Could he type up his assignments instead?
Could you do homework with him from like 7:30-10:30 am and then work from 11-7?
I know you like to get out of the house, but how much of a time sink is going to town to get lunch?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 16, 2020 7:37:29 GMT -5
We had a lot of volume in early March before shit got real so I was working a ton through March and now I'm working 6-7 days a week. Wouldn't be needed but I spend my morning jumping between kids and work so not much is accomplished between 8-noon. Dh has tackled some projects which is nice but he's letting the kids do way too much screen time. I am pretty sure at this point screens are raising my kids. C somehow broke his newish Kindle this week. All I know is that it's got cracks in it but still works. And it has something to do with his temper. He's not telling me about it. DH did but C hasn't/won't tell DH what happened either. And I'm not asking. He's been saving up for a Switch for a while. I guess C brought up to DH that maybe he could use some of his Switch money for a new Kindle. My suggestion was to see if the broken Kindle was still under warranty. I think it is as this was the Kindle we got for DH to replace his old, dying one sometime in 2019. He didn't like it so we turned it over to C.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 16, 2020 8:07:41 GMT -5
Carrot is in 4th grade. I think a typical kid could get the work done a lot faster, but he writes soooooo slooooow. Seriously, I didn't realize how bad that was until now, so feeling pretty good about that. Older son might be able to help some, but he doesn't really have a big block of time. He has class from 9-1:30 and tends to sleep in until pretty close to the start of class, then he leaves most days around 3 to go to work, but I think his classes are kind of sporadic. Like one day he'll have a live class for the entire class period and the next day it might just be a 10 minute one. Is he trying to be perfect or is he struggling with motor task? Or is he not sure what to write (thought formation) Regardless, Don’t make him write unless writing is the assignment. You write or he can voice type. There are other tasks to help, for instance if it’s motor, Give home fine motor tasks. The bob Ross painting is good. Small legos, I’ll think of others.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 16, 2020 8:09:07 GMT -5
Carrot is in 4th grade. I think a typical kid could get the work done a lot faster, but he writes soooooo slooooow. Seriously, I didn't realize how bad that was until now, so feeling pretty good about that. Older son might be able to help some, but he doesn't really have a big block of time. He has class from 9-1:30 and tends to sleep in until pretty close to the start of class, then he leaves most days around 3 to go to work, but I think his classes are kind of sporadic. Like one day he'll have a live class for the entire class period and the next day it might just be a 10 minute one. Is he trying to be perfect or is he struggling with motor task? Don’t make him write unless writing is the assignment. You write or he can voice type. Give home fine motor tasks. The bob Ross painting is good. Small legos, I’ll think of others. I think MPL has said that a huge part of Carrot's writing issues are how he holds the pencil/pen. He's not holding it correctly and refuses to change.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 16, 2020 8:09:33 GMT -5
My C is a slow writer regardless of the medium. He is typing everything from home which might be a little better but not much. He finally got a topic he's excited about for his realistic fiction story he has to write and it's still taking forever to get the thoughts onto the page.
It's a really hard thing to work on because the more attention we bring to it, the more he stresses and can't speed up. But eventually that could really impact his school work.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 16, 2020 8:14:34 GMT -5
Chrome. Google docs. Tools. Talk to type.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2020 8:14:42 GMT -5
giramomma - I can't shift my hours (officially) at all. I am expected to have my butt in the chair by my computer with phone on from 7:30am to 4:00pm. Email requests are coming constantly. Carrot doesn't really have a lot of questions about his school work and he does it on his own while I work. It's mostly busy work. Math sheets and sentence diagramming and stuff like that. But he narrates his entire life and likes to tell me what he's doing and thinking through all the problems out loud. His writing is so slow because of the way he holds a pencil, but he has resisted changing that for forever. We've tried grips and he'll use them for a bit and then refuse. For long writing assignments he uses Google Docs. There's no way he would finish his evening journal in any reasonable amount of time without doing that...and it's just 4 or 5 sentences. I do have to help him organize his paperwork. He'll have stuff everywhere and he has some assignments that are daily and some that are weekly. He has to check in with several teachers throughout the week through Google Classroom and they're all on different days, so I have to make sure he gets that done.
Mainly I'm just easily distracted at home and I'm working at a card table in my bedroom, not my big nice cube with the ergonomic chair and perfect lighting. There's no laser printer/scanner next to me and phone with a headset for meetings. Instead I have a wooden chair am trying to hold my cell phone to my ear and type during meetings...It's not very conducive to work.
As for lunch, I have to punch out for 30 minutes each day no matter what or payroll contacts my boss. It takes me 30-40 to run to town and get the food and saves me having to figure out what to feed Carrot. My older son is on his own but I was finding that Carrot was skipping eating breakfast and lunch or just grabbing granola bars unless something was offered to him. I feel better knowing he's eating and they give us a lot of food with fruit and vegetables and milk with each lunch and a separate breakfast pack for the next day. Tuesday they had walking tacos and yesterday it was orange chicken with brown rice. They've both been cleaning everything up...even the vegetables which they never would have had otherwise. Older son might make mac and cheese or a PB&J sandwich for himself, but that would be about it, so it's worth it to me to not have to worry about 2 meals a day for them.
I'm at the office today. They need me for something today that will take me about an hour and again tomorrow for another hour. Not sure if I just stay all day or run back and forth (work here until noon, then come back tomorrow morning). It's the tearing down my desktop computer and carrying it back and forth to my van every time that is the real PIA with this.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 16, 2020 8:17:48 GMT -5
Carrot is in 4th grade. I think a typical kid could get the work done a lot faster, but he writes soooooo slooooow. Seriously, I didn't realize how bad that was until now, so feeling pretty good about that. Older son might be able to help some, but he doesn't really have a big block of time. He has class from 9-1:30 and tends to sleep in until pretty close to the start of class, then he leaves most days around 3 to go to work, but I think his classes are kind of sporadic. Like one day he'll have a live class for the entire class period and the next day it might just be a 10 minute one. Is he trying to be perfect or is he struggling with motor task? Or is he not sure what to write (thought formation) Regardless, Don’t make him write unless writing is the assignment. You write or he can voice type. There are other tasks to help, for instance if it’s motor, Give home fine motor tasks. The bob Ross painting is good. Small legos, I’ll think of others. I love the voice to text idea. Thank you! I'll suggest that to C today. And fyi I'd pay you for your suggestions. It's always something that I'd have never considered.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 16, 2020 8:17:58 GMT -5
Can he video chat dad and give him.. or someone else? The play by play? Or record himself ‘journaling’ the play by play for posterity... in a sound room set up so he won’t get background noise 😜
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2020 8:18:33 GMT -5
Carrot is in 4th grade. I think a typical kid could get the work done a lot faster, but he writes soooooo slooooow. Seriously, I didn't realize how bad that was until now, so feeling pretty good about that. Older son might be able to help some, but he doesn't really have a big block of time. He has class from 9-1:30 and tends to sleep in until pretty close to the start of class, then he leaves most days around 3 to go to work, but I think his classes are kind of sporadic. Like one day he'll have a live class for the entire class period and the next day it might just be a 10 minute one. Is he trying to be perfect or is he struggling with motor task? Or is he not sure what to write (thought formation) Regardless, Don’t make him write unless writing is the assignment. You write or he can voice type. There are other tasks to help, for instance if it’s motor, Give home fine motor tasks. The bob Ross painting is good. Small legos, I’ll think of others. It's how he holds the pencil. I don't know how he can write at all like that, but he fights changing it. What he does write is very hard to read most of the time. I worry how he'll ever manage to take tests in higher grades if he doesn't get better at that. He was doing really poorly in math for the longest time because they'd give him those timed math sheets with 100 problems on and he'd only get a few done because it took him so long to write the answers. Then they started testing him orally and realized those problems were easy for him.
eta: And now I have to force myself to check out of the boards for awhile. No excuses to not get work done when I'm actually in the office.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 16, 2020 8:22:42 GMT -5
At least for now I’d go with it. Do math the same way. Talk: Problem one comma 36 enter Problem 2 comma 48 enter
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 16, 2020 8:23:27 GMT -5
giramomma - I can't shift my hours (officially) at all. I am expected to have my butt in the chair by my computer with phone on from 7:30am to 4:00pm. Email requests are coming constantly. Carrot doesn't really have a lot of questions about his school work and he does it on his own while I work. It's mostly busy work. Math sheets and sentence diagramming and stuff like that. But he narrates his entire life and likes to tell me what he's doing and thinking through all the problems out loud. His writing is so slow because of the way he holds a pencil, but he has resisted changing that for forever. We've tried grips and he'll use them for a bit and then refuse. For long writing assignments he uses Google Docs. There's no way he would finish his evening journal in any reasonable amount of time without doing that...and it's just 4 or 5 sentences. I do have to help him organize his paperwork. He'll have stuff everywhere and he has some assignments that are daily and some that are weekly. He has to check in with several teachers throughout the week through Google Classroom and they're all on different days, so I have to make sure he gets that done.
Mainly I'm just easily distracted at home and I'm working at a card table in my bedroom, not my big nice cube with the ergonomic chair and perfect lighting. There's no laser printer/scanner next to me and phone with a headset for meetings. Instead I have a wooden chair am trying to hold my cell phone to my ear and type during meetings...It's not very conducive to work.
As for lunch, I have to punch out for 30 minutes each day no matter what or payroll contacts my boss. It takes me 30-40 to run to town and get the food and saves me having to figure out what to feed Carrot. My older son is on his own but I was finding that Carrot was skipping eating breakfast and lunch or just grabbing granola bars unless something was offered to him. I feel better knowing he's eating and they give us a lot of food with fruit and vegetables and milk with each lunch and a separate breakfast pack for the next day. Tuesday they had walking tacos and yesterday it was orange chicken with brown rice. They've both been cleaning everything up...even the vegetables which they never would have had otherwise. Older son might make mac and cheese or a PB&J sandwich for himself, but that would be about it, so it's worth it to me to not have to worry about 2 meals a day for them.
I'm at the office today. They need me for something today that will take me about an hour and again tomorrow for another hour. Not sure if I just stay all day or run back and forth (work here until noon, then come back tomorrow morning). It's the tearing down my desktop computer and carrying it back and forth to my van every time that is the real PIA with this.
The least your job couold do is give you a laptop. And I'd take your chair home. A good chair is worth it's weight in gold for a good work experience imo. I'm considering ordering a couple cheap ones from Amazon for the kids. 2-3 hours in a kitchen chair is hell for me and while they can do it, it can't make them want to sit down for school work.
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