anciana
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Post by anciana on Jan 28, 2020 10:42:17 GMT -5
YM is my free and convenient therapy [img src="http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/smile.gif" class="smile" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png" alt=" "] Thank you for the updates, azucena! Glad to hear that your husband's state is improving and that you have people in real life to lean on to help you. Hang in there!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2020 11:13:21 GMT -5
Wisconsin Beth 4th grade/8th month is where I scored in math when I was a senior in high school In 4th grade, I scored 13th grade/4th month in reading comprehension. 13th grade...first year of college. I'll never forget those scores because nobody could figure out why I was so behind in math and so far ahead in reading comp. I knew why. It was because "girls don't do math or science; they do English and history." I heard it so often that I believed it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2020 11:15:38 GMT -5
I read ahead in my history books for fun in grade school. Some in high school but not as much.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 28, 2020 11:19:14 GMT -5
Finn- thank you for sharing. I had no idea you could relate so well - sorry for being part of the club. Caregiving for a chronic illness is a totally different beast that so many dont understand.
My therapist calls it ptsd and I think thats accurate. I'm a really good caregiver and can function at a high level for a long time but that doesnt mean I should. I'm really trying to keep myself on track with dhs recovery so that when he gets well I'm right there with him and limit the remaining issues and emotions that I have to deal with myself as much as I can.
We are scheduled for spring break at the beach March 14 which currently still seems like good timing. If not, I'll schedule our family somewhere for the long easter weekend.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 28, 2020 11:21:03 GMT -5
Up and in a chair for an hour this morning.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 28, 2020 12:36:35 GMT -5
azucena We're here for you. I did explain that BIL was on a ventilator to my kids, as part of the reasons why we weren't taking them to see him. We told them what it was doing for him. And explained some of the other tubes that were plugged into him. They were doing seizure monitoring too. So while no visible wounds, just lots of tubes and wires. And they agreed that they didn't want to see him like that. But an uncle they see once a month is very different from a dad. *-*-*-* In more positive news, we got C's January testing results yesterday. His reading is improving. Still not great but around 50th percentile. His math though. Holy Shit. He went from a 4 grade, 8th month to 11 grade, the 95th percentile. His interim report came home too - meeting grade expectations solidly. This kid is so much like me and most of my siblings. We do terrific in the topics that interest us and average in the rest. Because we don't apply ourselves to the boring stuff. And yes, it's kicked a few of us in the tush.
Check his work. It wasn't till DH had me do the same problem four times and write out each step that he figured out I have dyscalculia. None of my teachers ever took the time to do that, I did it wrong and that was that. I spent the majority of my time in school thinking I was stupid and gave up. My math score on the ACT was so awful I got put in remedial Algebra. The funny thing is if you have what I have regarding numbers you are usually above average for reading. That's partly why it tends to get missed because I do not manifest the normal and expected signs of dyslexia.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2020 13:34:57 GMT -5
I read ahead in my history books for fun in grade school. Some in high school but not as much. I used to do that, too. I'd read the whole book when I got home from school the first day of class. Maybe that's one of the reasons I had such a hard time learning math...I was too busy reading my history book
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2020 13:37:31 GMT -5
I hated history and math. Science baby, that was my love. Math came later in college. All of a sudden that just clicked.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jan 28, 2020 13:44:26 GMT -5
- tomorrows mission must include someone finding me some good lotion. My hands are nearly bleeding from so much washing. Azucena, if you’re still looking for lotion, try this one: O'Keeffe's Working Hands Hand Cream, 3 ounce Tube, (Pack of 2) www.amazon.com/dp/B0148PKYXU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_47hmEbKSNKTKKWe got it for M and C because their hands were cracked and nearly bleeding from dry skin this winter from hand washing. It has worked really well for both kiddos and I’ll be ordering more (or finding it at Target/CVS) when what we have runs out.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 28, 2020 14:04:07 GMT -5
If they had taught me the supposed "new math" that everyone loves to hate I would have excelled at math in school. Gwen was showing me one of the ways they taught her to figure out division and I got it.
Could have saved me years of humiliation.
As an adult I still struggle with major insecurity about math. However over the years I've found I am better at it than I realized now that I am free to do it MY way, use a software and I am able to take my time.
I also work in an industry where everyone will ask someone to check their math on a regular basis. It's accepted that you are going to need/want help and better to seek it out than screw it up because a lot of times you can't go back and undo what you did.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 28, 2020 23:07:44 GMT -5
Dr upped it to getting out a week from now instead of this weekend. I wasnt there but am not surprised given he has to work up to food and his incision is so big. I dont really want him home until that thing is a whole lot less scary.
Dd11 school bball team that I coach gave us an envelope full of gift cards - fast food, pizza, take out, coffee, gas, grocery, walmart, etc. Its overwhelming. Hoping I can use the pile to show him how much support we have since another week is a big blow.
His mom and sister saw him today for the first time. I told SIL to text or call if she had questions because they never really understand what is happening, always get the details wrong, and turn it into drama about them somehow. True to form, SIL texts "I can help with the kids every day next week except Fri when I have my own pre-operation appointment". SMH - I'm not taking the bait and asking what for. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. I got more than enough to deal with thank you.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Jan 28, 2020 23:11:57 GMT -5
My mother was a reading specialist and she swore by reptile books and car magazines - anything they were interested in.
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Jan 29, 2020 0:12:07 GMT -5
- tomorrows mission must include someone finding me some good lotion. My hands are nearly bleeding from so much washing. Azucena, if you’re still looking for lotion, try this one: O'Keeffe's Working Hands Hand Cream, 3 ounce Tube, (Pack of 2) www.amazon.com/dp/B0148PKYXU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_47hmEbKSNKTKKWe got it for M and C because their hands were cracked and nearly bleeding from dry skin this winter from hand washing. It has worked really well for both kiddos and I’ll be ordering more (or finding it at Target/CVS) when what we have runs out. You can also try Neutrogena Hand Cream . It works wonders . My hands and fingers get really cracked and sometimes bleeds and this works . 😄
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 29, 2020 6:43:45 GMT -5
Azucena - good to hear that things are looking up. I'd rather delay him coming home until he's quite stable if possiblke but I'm sure he wants to be home quick too.
On the parents - I wouldn't have thought of that as not being age appropriate. In bad times I default to more info mode. I'm sure if you ask them not to share with their daughter they can do that. Although it sounds like they aren't as much your support but possibly support for your dh so nothing you need to address soon.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 29, 2020 8:02:33 GMT -5
My mother was a reading specialist and she swore by reptile books and car magazines - anything they were interested in. He's reading about wrestling and the NFL. Also the Guinness Book of World Records book.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 29, 2020 8:35:37 GMT -5
Dr upped it to getting out a week from now instead of this weekend. I wasnt there but am not surprised given he has to work up to food and his incision is so big. I dont really want him home until that thing is a whole lot less scary. Dd11 school bball team that I coach gave us an envelope full of gift cards - fast food, pizza, take out, coffee, gas, grocery, walmart, etc. Its overwhelming. Hoping I can use the pile to show him how much support we have since another week is a big blow. His mom and sister saw him today for the first time. I told SIL to text or call if she had questions because they never really understand what is happening, always get the details wrong, and turn it into drama about them somehow. True to form, SIL texts "I can help with the kids every day next week except Fri when I have my own pre-operation appointment". SMH - I'm not taking the bait and asking what for. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. I got more than enough to deal with thank you. I hope he heals well and speedily while in the hospital.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 29, 2020 9:39:45 GMT -5
My mother was a reading specialist and she swore by reptile books and car magazines - anything they were interested in. He's reading about wrestling and the NFL. Also the Guinness Book of World Records book. As Works4me said: anything they are interesred in. My oldest only kept reading when I scrounged around for anything I could get my hands on regarding baseball, football, etc. (this was in Bangkok so not easy at that time); after that it was DS2s turn and if it was in English and related to computers I bought it. Since this was in Singapore that was a little easier. I must have spend a small retirement worth on keeping those two reading. That 13th grade level reading in elementary school was there for both of them. They got lucky in that math came easy to them as well.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2020 10:11:43 GMT -5
Reading was not Carrot's thing and it was only graphic novels or video game strategy books for a long time, but now he's all about the Harry Potter series which I'm pretty happy about. I was scrambling to try and find him something equally as enticing after he finished, but he just turned around and started them all over again.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 29, 2020 10:34:20 GMT -5
The friend I asked to get lotion gave me 3 really good different kinds and my hands are much happier. Her note said one for home, one for hospital, one for purse which is perfect. She also included a candle which is perfect for my evening wind down.
Today is really about day 3 after surgery which is when everything starts waking up so he is very sore and painful. Plus we are both dreading the second wound change today.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jan 29, 2020 10:38:02 GMT -5
Azucena, if you’re still looking for lotion, try this one: O'Keeffe's Working Hands Hand Cream, 3 ounce Tube, (Pack of 2) www.amazon.com/dp/B0148PKYXU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_47hmEbKSNKTKKWe got it for M and C because their hands were cracked and nearly bleeding from dry skin this winter from hand washing. It has worked really well for both kiddos and I’ll be ordering more (or finding it at Target/CVS) when what we have runs out. You can also try Neutrogena Hand Cream . It works wonders . My hands and fingers get really cracked and sometimes bleeds and this works . 😄 Yes. It is a miracle cream. Neutrogena Norwegian Formula hand cream. It keeps my hands so soft and helps heals the cracks (when I remember to put it on).
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 29, 2020 10:38:45 GMT -5
I was relying on the friends parents as my support too and they were doing a good job except the oversharing with their daughter c.
I would share more info with dd11 if it were a relative or friend but it's her dad so it's too much. As it was I had her understanding enough.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Jan 29, 2020 11:58:23 GMT -5
How is Carrot doing with his writing?
Azucena - I hope your DH and you both recover well. It's so hard when someone is that sick.
Drama - you are handling the situation with your DH well. Addiction is such a nasty beast. Last I heard my XH was still periodically getting drunk and occasionally jumping off the barn. So sad but as much as I loved him, and still do, it made me glad I left.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2020 12:52:44 GMT -5
How is Carrot doing with his writing? Not great. I bought him some hand strengthening thingies for Christmas and he was having fun using them for awhile, but now he quit. I should remind him about those.
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Jan 29, 2020 13:01:27 GMT -5
My mother was a reading specialist and she swore by reptile books and car magazines - anything they were interested in. He's reading about wrestling and the NFL. Also the Guinness Book of World Records book. My oldest didn’t like to read either . But then in kindergarten/first grade , he found Pokémon cards and he just took off . He is now 27 and a voracious reader like myself . I’m a big believer in letting them read “whatever” interests them . Doesn’t have to be books .
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Jan 29, 2020 13:03:16 GMT -5
Reading was not Carrot's thing and it was only graphic novels or video game strategy books for a long time, but now he's all about the Harry Potter series which I'm pretty happy about. I was scrambling to try and find him something equally as enticing after he finished, but he just turned around and started them all over again. That was my son’s first love after the Pokémon cards . He started reading Harry Potter in 2nd grade . He even loaned his book to his teacher . ❤️
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 29, 2020 13:14:30 GMT -5
How is Carrot doing with his writing? Not great. I bought him some hand strengthening thingies for Christmas and he was having fun using them for awhile, but now he quit. I should remind him about those.
Abby could teach him. She's already volunteered to teach my dad how to write after watching him because "she knows how to do it right".
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 29, 2020 13:56:35 GMT -5
I was relying on the friends parents as my support too and they were doing a good job except the oversharing with their daughter c. I would share more info with dd11 if it were a relative or friend but it's her dad so it's too much. As it was I had her understanding enough. azucena please don't be irritated at your daughter's friend's parents as they are doing exactly what you say you would do if it concerned a relative or a friend. Just ask them to please not share details with their daughter so that dd11 won't be caught off-guard by knowledge she does not have. I am sure they will have no problem with that request.
Sending you lots of good thoughts and
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 29, 2020 21:42:36 GMT -5
I was relying on the friends parents as my support too and they were doing a good job except the oversharing with their daughter c. I would share more info with dd11 if it were a relative or friend but it's her dad so it's too much. As it was I had her understanding enough. azucena please don't be irritated at your daughter's friend's parents as they are doing exactly what you say you would do if it concerned a relative or a friend. Just ask them to please not share details with their daughter so that dd11 won't be caught off-guard by knowledge she does not have. I am sure they will have no problem with that request.
Sending you lots of good thoughts and
Ah, I didnt think of it that way - thanks. Today was tough. I watched way more of the dressing change than I should have but dh was tense and in pain so I stood by his head and stroked his hair. There was an extended family pretty upset in the waiting room all day and about 5 the patient died the nurses brought out a cart of sandwiches, chips, and sodas which I guess is a nice gesture but I have seen that cart twice already and now I cannot unknow that it is the death cart. Brought the kids in to see dh again which was tough for all 4 of us. Dh wanted me to stay for Dr rounds which seems to be 8 for this one so dd7 went home with my mom and dd11 opted to stay with me. She got to see how boring it is sitting for a couple hours and we made fun of dhs snoring. She also saw me push the pain button as he slept. I know its wrong but he wont let himself sleep deeply because he gets worried about getting behind on meds. So we have an understanding that while I'm there I have his back. Since today was hurdle day i was pretty consistent. Tomorrow I'll space them out a bit. The poor guy has been thru enough pain and he certainly doesnt need to be sleep deprived. He was sleeping the best this afternoon after physical therapy when the room phone rang obnoxiously loud. The lady wouldnt tell me who she was but would only talk to dh. Put him on the phone and its our ins company. Hes half asleep so I said tell them you authorize your wife lisa to talk for you. Lady says our records show hes in the hospital and she wants more info to help us manage his case as his patient advocate. I said we have our hands full, dont need you, dont want you, dont call us, remove from list forever. Irritating - why do we need even more middle men in healthcare?! Kinda like the er and us moving room to room before they decided on surgery. I swear someone keyed in his med history at least 4 times. Then the questions of does anyone harm you and this time another whole round of can you afford groceries and transportation. Each time I said we dont have issues and we are well off so just mark whatever boxes get us past this.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 29, 2020 21:43:15 GMT -5
I think I'm in full on mama bear mode - ain't nobody messing with my man lol
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2020 21:57:29 GMT -5
Reading was not Carrot's thing and it was only graphic novels or video game strategy books for a long time, but now he's all about the Harry Potter series which I'm pretty happy about. I was scrambling to try and find him something equally as enticing after he finished, but he just turned around and started them all over again. That was my son’s first love after the Pokémon cards . He started reading Harry Potter in 2nd grade . He even loaned his book to his teacher . ❤️ Tonight he brought home an Astrology book!
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