Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Oct 25, 2018 22:49:04 GMT -5
So Carrot's parent teacher conference wasn't as good as his brother's. He's pretty much not doing anything work-wise in class. He's testing 94th percentile math and 99th percentile reading, but has completed almost nothing. It seems most of his problem is rooted in his poor writing ability. Does anybody know how to get an 8 year old to hold a pencil correctly? He holds it about the same as he does a spoon and fork...like in a fist. I think writing is just so painfully difficult for him that he avoids doing it at all, but he fights me to no end when I try to show him the correct way to do it. Ugh. That's an occupational therapy thing. Would his pediatrician give you a referral for that?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2018 23:01:26 GMT -5
So Carrot's parent teacher conference wasn't as good as his brother's. He's pretty much not doing anything work-wise in class. He's testing 94th percentile math and 99th percentile reading, but has completed almost nothing. It seems most of his problem is rooted in his poor writing ability. Does anybody know how to get an 8 year old to hold a pencil correctly? He holds it about the same as he does a spoon and fork...like in a fist. I think writing is just so painfully difficult for him that he avoids doing it at all, but he fights me to no end when I try to show him the correct way to do it. Ugh. That's an occupational therapy thing. Would his pediatrician give you a referral for that?He's do for a well child check. I refuse to go to pediatrics again after the fiasco with older son a few weeks ago, but I'm assuming a family medicine doctor could do a referral too. I'm a little pissed that the teacher has not said anything for so long...this is her third year with him in her class and this is the first time she's ever brought it up. I mean, I guess I should have noticed, but we don't do homework and he doesn't write much at home, so I just assumed he was doing fine at school. I knew the fork/spoon thing and have tried to correct him on that, but it wasn't going very well.
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sbcalimom
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Post by sbcalimom on Oct 26, 2018 7:21:10 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady could you also try one of those triangle grips in the meantime? We were concerned that DD1 had a fine motor issue because her handwriting was atroscious for awhile. The learning support (equivalent of IEP here in Germany) recommended she use this little triangle grip thing to see if that helped. It made it easier for her to hold it in the "right" grip and maintain a bit better control. After a few months of that, she got used to it and didn't have to use it anymore but still grips the "right" way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 7:37:35 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady could you also try one of those triangle grips in the meantime? We were concerned that DD1 had a fine motor issue because her handwriting was atroscious for awhile. The learning support (equivalent of IEP here in Germany) recommended she use this little triangle grip thing to see if that helped. It made it easier for her to hold it in the "right" grip and maintain a bit better control. After a few months of that, she got used to it and didn't have to use it anymore but still grips the "right" way. I ordered these last night. There were so many different kinds to choose from so I just went with the one with the highest reviews. I also made a doctors appointment for him end of November and I'll discuss with him as well. I'm kind of in freak out mode a bit. I had no idea things were going this badly at school.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2018 7:53:31 GMT -5
We went through this with C in 1st & 2nd grades. I think the teacher and peer pressure pushed him into holding his pencil correctly. I mean we did remind him when doing homework but he didn't have much. And I was dialed into worrying about his reading ability.
We had conferences last week and his reading comprehension came up. I need to follow up with his teacher next week.
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sbcalimom
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Post by sbcalimom on Oct 26, 2018 8:02:51 GMT -5
We tried those and these were recommended too: www.amazon.com/dp/B07CVX738H/. She didn't really like the second ones but one of the other kids in her class really did and they helped a lot so you could always try a couple different ones while you wait. I also agree with Wisconsin Beth, peer pressure and reminding helped a ton. Last year the focus was on penmanship and they got to get a "pen license" if they passed a test so for her it was huge deal to start doing it properly so she could get that license. I feel like that was probably the only thing that really made a difference.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 8:23:56 GMT -5
Ok, so now I ordered those too. We'll see if either of them helps. He does seem to want to learn anyhow. He's getting frustrated that he can't make it up levels in the math facts sheets because of it. They have to answer 60 questions in 3 minutes to pass. I just found out that last year they were letting him do the sheets verbally so he could go on because with having to write them he could only get like 10, but now they stopped that...but hadn't done anything in the meantime about his writing.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Oct 26, 2018 9:03:25 GMT -5
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 26, 2018 9:21:05 GMT -5
C holds his pen "correctly" but writes slowly. They brought that up in conferences as well. We're encouraging journaling and postcards but I like that he tries for good handwriting and don't want him to sacrifice that for speed.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Oct 26, 2018 9:23:07 GMT -5
Last year was parent teacher conferences for older son. It was the first time in 12 or 13 (I can't remember if preschool had them) years of PT conferences that I didn't get a single report of behavioral issues. His science teacher did mention he seems to be stressed out a lot. That's nothing new. He doesn't worry about anything until the last minute, then it's All. The. Drama. He just realized yesterday he's taking the ACT in two days and couldn't even tell you what subjects they're testing on. That's how much prep he's done. By tomorrow night he'll be in full freak out mode.
He's the embodiment of people's recurring nightmare, showing up for an important test without doing any prep because you didn't know you were supposed to be going to class and now it's time for the final exam. Then there's that other recurring nightmare, showing up naked to school and nobody really noticing. Or are those just MY recurring nightmares?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 9:25:11 GMT -5
Well no...not until now. Now I'm really worried!
He has struggled with fine motor. He JUST learned to tie his shoes this Fall. So he claims, I'm kind of a parenting failure in some regards in that I still haven't actually seen him do it, but I got him tie shoes for gym and he said it takes him a few tries, but he does it himself.
The crazy thing is, he's really good at playing piano. I don't get how he can't tie a shoe or hold a pencil, but seems to have lots of finger control for playing.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 26, 2018 9:37:04 GMT -5
Well no...not until now. Now I'm really worried!
He has struggled with fine motor. He JUST learned to tie his shoes this Fall. So he claims, I'm kind of a parenting failure in some regards in that I still haven't actually seen him do it, but I got him tie shoes for gym and he said it takes him a few tries, but he does it himself.
The crazy thing is, he's really good at playing piano. I don't get how he can't tie a shoe or hold a pencil, but seems to have lots of finger control for playing. I would think those would be different parts of your hand and parts of your brain? But I don't know really.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Oct 26, 2018 9:38:16 GMT -5
Well no...not until now. Now I'm really worried!
He has struggled with fine motor. He JUST learned to tie his shoes this Fall. So he claims, I'm kind of a parenting failure in some regards in that I still haven't actually seen him do it, but I got him tie shoes for gym and he said it takes him a few tries, but he does it himself.
The crazy thing is, he's really good at playing piano. I don't get how he can't tie a shoe or hold a pencil, but seems to have lots of finger control for playing. There's nothing to be worried about (well, as his mother you worry about everything ) just something to be ruled out. As with any learning disability the earlier the diagnosis the better. If Carrot does have an issue then the experts can work on ways to help him.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Oct 26, 2018 9:41:32 GMT -5
My ODS had atrocious handwriting. He struggled with motor skills, then we switched schools at 3rd grade to a school that taught cursive writing in 1st grade so he was behind. He had to take the SAT with writing portion and i was surprised that they even gave him a score. I couldn’t read his writing at all.
Just remember that handwriting is important in school but not necessarily in grown up life.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 9:42:09 GMT -5
At his doctors appointment I'll request a referral to occupational therapy. Is this something where I can request the school give him extra help?
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 26, 2018 9:45:54 GMT -5
At his doctors appointment I'll request a referral to occupational therapy. Is this something where I can request the school give him extra help? Yes!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 9:48:37 GMT -5
My ODS had atrocious handwriting. He struggled with motor skills, then we switched schools at 3rd grade to a school that taught cursive writing in 1st grade so he was behind. He had to take the SAT with writing portion and i was surprised that they even gave him a score. I couldn’t read his writing at all. Just remember that handwriting is important in school but not necessarily in grown up life. This school teaches cursive starting in 1st grade as well. Last year he had to do spelling tests and it was so hard to read what he wrote that I told him to just print everything. The teacher complained a little, but they were testing his spelling. If he prints you can at least tell he knows how to spell the word. In cursive it's completely illegible.
Older son does 90% of his schoolwork on a laptop. Math and taking lab notes for science are basically his only writing in 11th grade. Of course, tomorrow he's taking the ACT with writing, so that should be interesting...he's never had the greatest handwriting either.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 9:50:57 GMT -5
At his doctors appointment I'll request a referral to occupational therapy. Is this something where I can request the school give him extra help? Yes! So, what do I do? Does the doctor or OT have to be involved or is this something I can initiate on my own?
eta: Not that I don't want to involve the doc. I'm just figuring a month before the doctor appointment, then maybe another month to get into a specialist...
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 26, 2018 9:52:17 GMT -5
Hugs, MPL. I hope the grips help carrot with writing. Poor kiddo
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 26, 2018 9:54:10 GMT -5
So, what do I do? Does the doctor or OT have to be involved or is this something I can initiate on my own?
eta: Not that I don't want to involve the doc. I'm just figuring a month before the doctor appointment, then maybe another month to get into a specialist...
Since it's a montessori, I would ask what needs to happen. They may need formal documentation for an accomodation, or they may be more flexible. Just ask them first!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 26, 2018 9:58:04 GMT -5
Neither of my boys have great fine motor skills. They were more interested in gross motor skills than coloring books. The 8 year old's printing looks like chicken scratches, and he's still kind of slow tying his shoes, but he did finally learn that in first grade. He gets 100% on his spelling tests most of the time, but his spelling is atrocious in his regular writing. He's a bit hyper, so I'm encouraging him to slow down. His favorite thing to do in class is timed math tests. Weird kid.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2018 10:34:39 GMT -5
C turned 9 this week and still has some problems tying his shoes. So does K at 10.5, at least when the laces are really long or really short. I don't worry about that too much. It'll come, is my take.
C's fine motor skills are coming along better now that he's not growing an inch every couple of months. The gym and soccer are probably helping too.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Oct 26, 2018 11:10:07 GMT -5
My ODS had atrocious handwriting. He struggled with motor skills, then we switched schools at 3rd grade to a school that taught cursive writing in 1st grade so he was behind. He had to take the SAT with writing portion and i was surprised that they even gave him a score. I couldn’t read his writing at all. Just remember that handwriting is important in school but not necessarily in grown up life. This school teaches cursive starting in 1st grade as well. Last year he had to do spelling tests and it was so hard to read what he wrote that I told him to just print everything. The teacher complained a little, but they were testing his spelling. If he prints you can at least tell he knows how to spell the word. In cursive it's completely illegible.
Older son does 90% of his schoolwork on a laptop. Math and taking lab notes for science are basically his only writing in 11th grade. Of course, tomorrow he's taking the ACT with writing, so that should be interesting...he's never had the greatest handwriting either.
My younger son started at school in K5 that only did cursive so he never had much instructions in print. When he was 10 and would try to print his name at home he would print backwards capital J, which is first letter of his name.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 26, 2018 11:27:55 GMT -5
My ODS had atrocious handwriting. He struggled with motor skills, then we switched schools at 3rd grade to a school that taught cursive writing in 1st grade so he was behind. He had to take the SAT with writing portion and i was surprised that they even gave him a score. I couldn’t read his writing at all. Just remember that handwriting is important in school but not necessarily in grown up life. I do feel like my handwriting holds me back a little though. At least prevents me from presenting a polished image. I don't need it very often, but when I have to show hand written notes it's pretty embarrassing.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 26, 2018 11:49:34 GMT -5
My ODS had atrocious handwriting. He struggled with motor skills, then we switched schools at 3rd grade to a school that taught cursive writing in 1st grade so he was behind. He had to take the SAT with writing portion and i was surprised that they even gave him a score. I couldn’t read his writing at all. Just remember that handwriting is important in school but not necessarily in grown up life. I do feel like my handwriting holds me back a little though. At least prevents me from presenting a polished image. I don't need it very often, but when I have to show hand written notes it's pretty embarrassing. I feel like this expectation on handwriting is very gendered. I've accepted my atrocious handwriting. I have to translate the writing of high level execs on a regular basis and all of them write like fucking doctors.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Oct 26, 2018 12:00:57 GMT -5
My cursive writing is sloppy as all get out, looks like chicken scribble. But my printing is really good and gorgeous looking. I've always been complimented on my printing style, no one notices my chicken scribble. lol
I prefer to print, since that's easiest to read.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 26, 2018 12:27:44 GMT -5
For writing practice, instead of writing in a journal, you can have your kids write letters to relatives. We have 2 major relatives that do not do social media. During the summer, the kids had to write one letter every week. Jocelyn's was a picture, but Ben had to write 3 or 4 sentences.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 26, 2018 12:31:52 GMT -5
My writing is usually terrible. If I slow down, I do better. Also, if I use the right size pen, I can write really nicely in cursive. I just want my kid to get to a point that I can decipher what he is writing. Between the terrible spelling and the chicken scratches, it's very, very difficult.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 26, 2018 12:33:42 GMT -5
I do feel like my handwriting holds me back a little though. At least prevents me from presenting a polished image. I don't need it very often, but when I have to show hand written notes it's pretty embarrassing. I feel like this expectation on handwriting is very gendered. I've accepted my atrocious handwriting. I have to translate the writing of high level execs on a regular basis and all of them write like fucking doctors. It could be, but I know men who are embarrassed about their writing and most of my male bosses have had nice penmanship. My husband, dad, and grandfather all have(d) beautiful writing. I've also worked for executives that had no concept of punctuation or how to use capitals unless they were intentionally screaming through the screen, so I do get where you're coming from. I look at it more like biting your nails. It's not like it is the deciding factor, but it does impact image on men and women.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2018 12:37:33 GMT -5
My handwriting was beautiful through school, then it all went to shit. I don't know how but I've looked back through papers I wrote 30+ years ago and I don't even recognize it as my own writing. Now I'm very lazy and tend to slur all my letters together.
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