The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[saveinla]

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

Did you ask him why he wanted to have kids?

[WholeLottaNothin]

My husband is mad at me because he has a urologist appointment this morning, and I'm asking him to ask about getting a vasectomy. I got pregnant with Donovan while still on the pill. I have an IUD now but I'm sick of this being my job. It would be nice to not have to worry about this anymore.

[steph08]

Sept 17, 2018 9:07:10 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

My husband is mad at me because he has a urologist appointment this morning, and I'm asking him to ask about getting a vasectomy. I got pregnant with Donovan while still on the pill. I have an IUD now but I'm sick of this being my job. It would be nice to not have to worry about this anymore.

Tell him my friend from high school (actually sister-in-law of the friend I stayed with this weekend) is pregnant, very unexpectedly, with her third child. She has an IUD. Oops.


I just had to vent. It is obviously affecting my subconscious because last night I had a dream about a cute guy and one of my dream thoughts was "If he holds my hand, I'll totally cheat with him." My dream-self must have had the mind of a 13-year-old. bahahahaha. 

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 17, 2018 8:20:44 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

Men are assholes.

Are least that one is being one.

[Pants]

Sept 17, 2018 9:17:19 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:07:10 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

My husband is mad at me because he has a urologist appointment this morning, and I'm asking him to ask about getting a vasectomy. I got pregnant with Donovan while still on the pill. I have an IUD now but I'm sick of this being my job. It would be nice to not have to worry about this anymore.

Tell him my friend from high school (actually sister-in-law of the friend I stayed with this weekend) is pregnant, very unexpectedly, with her third child. She has an IUD. Oops.


I just had to vent. It is obviously affecting my subconscious because last night I had a dream about a cute guy and one of my dream thoughts was "If he holds my hand, I'll totally cheat with him." My dream-self must have had the mind of a 13-year-old. bahahahaha. 

I have a very big feminist rant building up. Maybe I'll let it loose later, but I'm trying not to. But this bullshit is so fucked up. It just is. 

[raeoflyte]

Sept 17, 2018 9:28:56 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:17:19 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Tell him my friend from high school (actually sister-in-law of the friend I stayed with this weekend) is pregnant, very unexpectedly, with her third child. She has an IUD. Oops.


I just had to vent. It is obviously affecting my subconscious because last night I had a dream about a cute guy and one of my dream thoughts was "If he holds my hand, I'll totally cheat with him." My dream-self must have had the mind of a 13-year-old. bahahahaha. 

I have a very big feminist rant building up. Maybe I'll let it loose later, but I'm trying not to. But this bullshit is so fucked up. It just is. 

Right there with ya.  

Dh is away at a conference.  I hope to god that it was eye opening to him that the only thing "extra" I had to do for him to go was set up someone to pick up the kids from school.  He knew that was the case and he was sad about it and put in some good effort to leave the house in decent shape before he left.  Hopefully it makes him step it up.  

[Pants]

Sept 17, 2018 9:41:21 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:28:56 GMT -5 Pants said:

I have a very big feminist rant building up. Maybe I'll let it loose later, but I'm trying not to. But this bullshit is so fucked up. It just is. 

Right there with ya.  

Dh is away at a conference.  I hope to god that it was eye opening to him that the only thing "extra" I had to do for him to go was set up someone to pick up the kids from school.  He knew that was the case and he was sad about it and put in some good effort to leave the house in decent shape before he left.  Hopefully it makes him step it up.  

It won't though.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 17, 2018 9:48:25 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:41:21 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Right there with ya.  

Dh is away at a conference.  I hope to god that it was eye opening to him that the only thing "extra" I had to do for him to go was set up someone to pick up the kids from school.  He knew that was the case and he was sad about it and put in some good effort to leave the house in decent shape before he left.  Hopefully it makes him step it up.  

It won't though.

It probably won't and I don't know what if anything I'll do about that besides bitch.    

 

[Sam_2.0]

My DH has surprisingly not been an asshole the past week. So..yay? I went out on Sat night for a friends birthday and stayed out until 2am. Good heavens I am too old for that! I paid for it all day yesterday. I hardly drank too. The "lack of sleep" hangover was worse than a booze hangover. Tonight I am going out for girls' night. Its about time I get to go do some stuff too.

My sister got in a rough spot this week and needed someone to keep DN on Saturday. So of course we did. But when we picked her up, we let the girls both know what the rules were and there would be no second chances. Any mistakes would have them separated until DN got picked up. They were really REALLY good. No fighting, no being mean to the boys, listening to our directions, cleaned up 90% of the messes they made. We let them both know we were very happy with their behavior but that we still won't be going back to hanging out all the time whenever they feel like it.

Work is really kicking my ass. I've been telling my bosses for several months now that we need more bodies to do all the work. Turns out I have completed 50% of the tasks in the new system by myself. That's with about 150 users now since May! One of our temps quit because they wouldn't give him a full time position. I don't blame him at all - but I've spent the last year training him and he was one of the only ones who was really up to speed on how things work. Time to polish up the resume. I am so sick of burning myself out for nothing.

[swamp]

Sept 17, 2018 9:28:56 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:17:19 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Tell him my friend from high school (actually sister-in-law of the friend I stayed with this weekend) is pregnant, very unexpectedly, with her third child. She has an IUD. Oops.


I just had to vent. It is obviously affecting my subconscious because last night I had a dream about a cute guy and one of my dream thoughts was "If he holds my hand, I'll totally cheat with him." My dream-self must have had the mind of a 13-year-old. bahahahaha. 

I have a very big feminist rant building up. Maybe I'll let it loose later, but I'm trying not to. But this bullshit is so fucked up. It just is. 

Let it out.  

[Pants]

Sept 17, 2018 10:51:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Sept 17, 2018 9:28:56 GMT -5 Pants said:

I have a very big feminist rant building up. Maybe I'll let it loose later, but I'm trying not to. But this bullshit is so fucked up. It just is. 

Let it out.  

I can't. Right now it's just a wordless rage scream of bees. It needs organization before it's fit for consumption by other humans. 

(Side note, does anyone know what horror movie or TV show I'm thinking of where one of the characters rage-screams bees? Because I would like it as a reference point.) 

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 17, 2018 11:06:09 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 10:51:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Let it out.  

I can't. Right now it's just a wordless rage scream of bees. It needs organization before it's fit for consumption by other humans. 

(Side note, does anyone know what horror movie or TV show I'm thinking of where one of the characters rage-screams bees? Because I would like it as a reference point.) 

Story of my life (wordless rage scream).
Was it Fringe?  or Sleepy Hollow?  I think I remember some show with what you're talking about, but maybe not.

[Pants]

Sept 17, 2018 11:09:25 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Sept 17, 2018 11:06:09 GMT -5 Pants said:

I can't. Right now it's just a wordless rage scream of bees. It needs organization before it's fit for consumption by other humans. 

(Side note, does anyone know what horror movie or TV show I'm thinking of where one of the characters rage-screams bees? Because I would like it as a reference point.) 

Story of my life (wordless rage scream).
Was it Fringe?  or Sleepy Hollow?  I think I remember some show with what you're talking about, but maybe not.

I never really watched those, but I'm thinking Supernatural or something Whedonverse? (Like this sounds like something dark Willow would do, but I can't find the reference.)

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 17, 2018 11:17:33 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 11:09:25 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Story of my life (wordless rage scream).
Was it Fringe?  or Sleepy Hollow?  I think I remember some show with what you're talking about, but maybe not.

I never really watched those, but I'm thinking Supernatural or something Whedonverse? (Like this sounds like something dark Willow would do, but I can't find the reference.)

I've never seen either of those. We're probably talking about 2 different things. I'm pretty sure what I'm thinking of was from Fringe, because I rarely watch scary shows.

[WholeLottaNothin]

So he is getting it done. November 16th.

[zibazinski]

Sept 17, 2018 11:45:16 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

So he is getting it done. November 16th.

Stock up on frozen veggie bags!!

[azucena]

Sept 17, 2018 11:45:16 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

So he is getting it done. November 16th.

Yay!  But full warning that if he's like my DH, there will be lots of feel sorry for me for having 'surgery'.  To which I replied "childbirth, twice' and walked away to leave him to fetch his own frozen peas from the freezer.

[WholeLottaNothin]

Sept 17, 2018 11:54:50 GMT -5 azucena said:

Sept 17, 2018 11:45:16 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

So he is getting it done. November 16th.

Yay!  But full warning that if he's like my DH, there will be lots of feel sorry for me for having 'surgery'.  To which I replied "childbirth, twice' and walked away to leave him to fetch his own frozen peas from the freezer.

Oh he is starting that already . I ended up with stitches in my hooha after both kids. The first time I had a pretty major episiotomy, the second time I tore where I'd had the episiotomy the first time. The sympathy will be minimal, at best.

[gs11rmb]

Sept 17, 2018 11:30:32 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Sept 17, 2018 11:17:33 GMT -5 Pants said:

I never really watched those, but I'm thinking Supernatural or something Whedonverse? (Like this sounds like something dark Willow would do, but I can't find the reference.)

I've never seen either of those. We're probably talking about 2 different things. I'm pretty sure what I'm thinking of was from Fringe, because I rarely watch scary shows.

I was thinking about the scene from The Mummy where he screams out beetles.

[crazycat]

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

The first time I went away on a week long girls trip with my sis , I came home and my dh said , being a mom sucks . He said I knew you did a lot but wow , I am not worthy . 😜  Hope your dh realizes all you do . 

[crazycat]

Sept 17, 2018 11:54:50 GMT -5 azucena said:

Sept 17, 2018 11:45:16 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

So he is getting it done. November 16th.

Yay!  But full warning that if he's like my DH, there will be lots of feel sorry for me for having 'surgery'.  To which I replied "childbirth, twice' and walked away to leave him to fetch his own frozen peas from the freezer.

My hubby was resistant at first also . Men are such big babies . I finally sat him down and told him all the nitty gritty details of everything the gynecologist does on routine visits , the obgyn visits , etc . He said , I am never gonna complain again about having my balls snipped . 😀

[NastyWoman]

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

Your DH should be very grateful I am NOT his mother reading this. I rarely get involved with DS2 and raising his kids, but in the (also) 4+ years since DGS1 was born I have done so twice.  First time DGS1 was ~ half a year old and, while we were on the (speaker) phone DS told me that he would babysit that coming weekend, since DDIL was going to have a girls' weekend out. I told DS in no uncertain terms that he would NOT babysit his son, that as the father it would be impossible for him to do so. He was just the parent in charge for the weekend. 

They have since moved to Germany and on the 1st of next month he will start a new job. So I asked him if he planned to take time off between jobs. Now DDIL is taking some accelerated language classes every morning this month so DS is in charge of the kids. So DS's answer was that he wasn't really sure since he would have to take the kids along anyway → not much of a vacation. EEEHHHH... wrong answer kiddo. My second "intervention" followed within seconds → What are you complaining about? that is what your wife does every single day...  

Not much of a supporting mom aren't I?

[andi9899]

Sept 17, 2018 11:06:09 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 10:51:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Let it out.  

I can't. Right now it's just a wordless rage scream of bees. It needs organization before it's fit for consumption by other humans. 

(Side note, does anyone know what horror movie or TV show I'm thinking of where one of the characters rage-screams bees? Because I would like it as a reference point.) 

Dead Man Walking?

[zibazinski]

Sept 17, 2018 15:02:15 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

Your DH should be very grateful I am NOT his mother reading this. I rarely get involved with DS2 and raising his kids, but in the (also) 4+ years since DGS1 was born I have done so twice.  First time DGS1 was ~ half a year old and, while we were on the (speaker) hone DS told me that he would babysit that coming weekend, since DDIL was going to have a girls' weekend out. I told DS in no uncertain terms that he would NOT babysit his son, that as the father it would be impossible for him to do so. He was just the parent in charge for the weekend. 

They have since moved to Germany and on the 1st of next month he will start a new job. So I asked him if he planned to take time off between jobs. Now DDIL is taking some accelerated language classes every morning this month so DS is in charge of the kids. So DS's answer was that he wasn't really sure since he would have to take the kids along anyway → not much of a vacation. EEEHHHH... wrong answer kiddo. My second "intervention" followed within seconds → What are you complaining about? that is what your wife does every single day...  

Not much of a supporting mom aren't I?

I’ll bet your DIL loves you. I’ve called DS out a few times in front of his girlfriend bcuz there are times when his “teasing” isn’t teasing. It’s rude.

[Annie7]

Sept 17, 2018 11:06:09 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 17, 2018 10:51:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Let it out.  

I can't. Right now it's just a wordless rage scream of bees. It needs organization before it's fit for consumption by other humans. 

(Side note, does anyone know what horror movie or TV show I'm thinking of where one of the characters rage-screams bees? Because I would like it as a reference point.) 

The Green Mile? It was not in rage but rather all the "bad" stuff inside comes out like bees.

[NastyWoman]

Now on to baby related news: as you may recall in January Little Guy had open heart surgery. At the time he had fallen off all growth charts (he kept losing weight and was not growing at all anymore). In June I asked your help to decide which size diapers to buy since he was so tiny and just on the border of needing the next size.

Last night DS and I skyped and Little Guy was playing and babbling (big brother was in school) and I noticed that he had grown quite a bit. Well... he had a checkup last week and is now in the 50 percentile. That kid might still grow into his big hands and feet. He is catching up really quickly now. And of course, he is the cutest Little Guy you can possibly imagine

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I told DH I have ZERO sympathy for him in regards to a vasectomy.   It's a one time appointment where they barely touch his nuts.  Meanwhile I've had to be a human sock puppet once a year for 20+ years AND I gave birth to two children who wrecked my boobs and hoo ha.

Fuck you dude.

[swasat]

Sept 17, 2018 15:02:15 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Sept 17, 2018 8:18:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I went away to a friend's house this weekend and left DH home with the kids. It was so nice to be "Steph" for 1.5 days and not just "Mom."

Came home and DH is basically not talking to me - I even took the kids and left for 6 hours to give him peace. I came home and asked if he's mad: "Well, I spent most of the weekend hating you, so..." 

Jesus dude. We've had kids for 4+ years, I have put them to bed and did everything for them probably 97.5% of the time. Friday, he only had to put them to bed. Saturday, they spent half the day at his parents' house, then my parents took Harper, so he only had Chloe the rest of Saturday and I was home at 11 on Sunday morning.

I'm just tired of this crap. I should get to be a person, too.

Your DH should be very grateful I am NOT his mother reading this. I rarely get involved with DS2 and raising his kids, but in the (also) 4+ years since DGS1 was born I have done so twice.  First time DGS1 was ~ half a year old and, while we were on the (speaker) phone DS told me that he would babysit that coming weekend, since DDIL was going to have a girls' weekend out. I told DS in no uncertain terms that he would NOT babysit his son, that as the father it would be impossible for him to do so. He was just the parent in charge for the weekend. 

They have since moved to Germany and on the 1st of next month he will start a new job. So I asked him if he planned to take time off between jobs. Now DDIL is taking some accelerated language classes every morning this month so DS is in charge of the kids. So DS's answer was that he wasn't really sure since he would have to take the kids along anyway → not much of a vacation. EEEHHHH... wrong answer kiddo. My second "intervention" followed within seconds → What are you complaining about? that is what your wife does every single day...  

Not much of a supporting mom aren't I?

I am in the market for a new MIL....and taking applications. Send me a note if you are interested? 

Going to keep the same DH though since he is the awesome-st guy. So you will gain a son   

[chen35]

So Steph, he actually admitted he spent the weekend hating you because he actually had to put some effort into taking care of his kids? That just blows my mind. I am so sorry you have to deal with that.


I know I've bitched about DH before, but he's a saint when it comes to kid stuff. I can (and frequently have to) tell him I'm leaving on a business trip in 2 days and all of those carefully laid plans around who has the kid just flew out the window. If I start stressing about how we need to cover he'll tell me to stop worrying, he'll handle it. And then he does. 

When I was freaking out about getting an IUD after C (I have fibroids that push my cervix closed, I was so worried about the pain) DH just told me he'd get his vasectomy redone. That it ' really wasn't a big deal', and that's coming from a man who has done it before.

He hasn't actually done that yet, but between infertility and the fact that we aren't 100% opposed to an 'accident', plus who has time for sex, it really hasn't been high priority.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When I left DH for a week when Abby was a baby to go on vacation with Gwen he begged me to never die or divorce him. He had a whole new appreciation for all that I do.